Yes !! I learned my lessons , I lasted months with a person who told me he had love for he’s ex but wasn’t in love with her . Oh , best believe i ran but he end up catching up. With manipulating tactics . So he did everything for me to fall in love and in the end he left after many times of telling him that he needed to heal . He left !!! 😂. Sorry I have to laugh at the most stupidest thing I did . What was I thinking ? Now I’m looking back and everything was a lie , people out here are so quick in jumping into a relationship and then hurting the person after they did everything to help them out . The irony !
I completely disagree. You don’t invite someone and then expect them to pay for something you invited them for unless you make them aware beforehand. You don’t know other people’s budgets
@@chrisjfox8715 I just tell them in advance that I’ll pay. I usually alternate paying for second and third dates. I pay for one date and he pays for the other.
I dont get the whole "women need men to pay" or "men only ask women out" cuz I've gotten rejected every time I asked someone out and I'd definitely pay if someone accepted.
they paying one is my opinion also. i think whoever initiates or offers the date should pay for it. why would i ask a guy out and then expect him to pay for our food? that just doesn't make sense to me lmao
Likely just me, but I'm one who'll pay for everything. The lone time I was in a relationship, eventually my girlfriend was begging me to let her pay for something. I didn't let her. In my opinion, it's the man's responsibility to care for and to treat the lady irrespective of who initiates.
I know right 🙄, for real 🤷🏽♂️... some are 100% of the time! 💯 So while they're out there getting free dates left, right and centre 💁🏽♂️... you're gonna end up broke spending all your money on dates that might not work out in the end anyway 😱. Lol! 😅
I think that you should do whatever you want. If you want specific things, let the other person know and ask them how they feel about it. Don’t expect other people to know what you want. Communication is key
100% agreed. Before the 1st date, there definitely should be a rules & expectation meeting or something like that. I had a girl say to me after we finished eating at some restaurant: "so you're paying right?" I was like: "🙄... for what I ordered yes..." needless to say, it wasn't an ideal situation. The funny part is, I asked her beforehand if she had an preferences, guidelines or anything else I should know about. But she said: just surprise me. I guess we both ended up surprised, lol.
I think we should normalise bill splitting....idk if you can't pay for your food then don't go on a date. Dates aren't free meals.....this goes for everyone, regardless of gender!
I haven't dated that many women but my policy is "I'm willing to pay for the first date but we split after that." This has never been an issue. I think its the type of woman I attract given my attitude on relationships and money; I want to be with someone where there is mutual attraction, not with someone who thinks I'm "alright and pays for nice things". Also, it is wise to be financially prudent to set one up success if dates turn into a long-term-relationship/marriage. Been dating my girlfriend a little over a year and we take turns paying for eating out, activities, etcetera.
@@moodsofkiwi9285 What I've found is that girls who are straightforward and will ask you will ask around the same time you'd ask a girl. Those are the best ones.
@@Aaron-kj8dv Exactly when people say that that’s what I thought go to my head because generally girls are asking guys on dates especially if he’s not a chad
Okay and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
Yeah, when I'm not at work, I'm not doing the dress code. The suit comes off, and it's time to chill. I don't work my butt off just to have to dress up during my social time. Hard Pass, thanks!
@@snowangel92100 ...or even communicating whether there will BE a date or not. I've got things to do at home. I guess if she comes over and helps me with those things, then she might earn a date. After the work is done
@@jeromewesselman4653 thats what she meant by equal effort though. What you wear depends on the context. If you're going somewhere more formal then *she* (its her opinion not mine) expects more than sweats. If it's something that calls for sweats, more power to ya. Personally since it's a first date I would try to dress to impress anyway.
For me paying kinda depended on financial situation. With most dates I've been on, I'm the one that's the most financially stable, highest pay etc so in my eyes it's just decent to pay or at least offer to pay
Dat is precies de reden waarom je het niet moet doen. Ze zijn "sterk" genoeg volgens eigen zeggen, laat ze ook hun eigen lasten of een x die van ons dragen. Jij bent nog "traditioneel" terwijl zij alle hekken van de dam hebben gegooid en nog wel verwachten dat wij alles voor hun blijven doen. Dude, chicks kunnen niet eens meer koken vandaag de dag (buiten airfryer)
I really like the no movies on a first date. It's a clean slate and the objective of the first date is to get to know them as much as possible so you can decide if you want that second date with them. Movies get in the way of that. That "whoever asks, pays" rule sounds like a fair rule but in practice it just isn't. Guys are expected to ask out the woman on the first date to where 99 times out of 100 it's the guy who sets things up. It's a loophole to get guys to pay without "expecting" them to pay. In that scenario if the date doesn't go well then the girl can say "at least I got a free coffee and a sweet roll out of the deal" but the guy has to go " that was a waste of both my time and my money." That's not equal. First date you should go into it as equals. If it works out great, set up the ground rules for date 2 and move on from there. If it fails there's no monetary loss, only wasted time.
I also agree, Dutch should be the social norm no matter who asks. Both potential partners need to have "skin in the game"-- time and resources invested. I'd go on more dates if it wasn't so normalized for females to go just to get free stuff
@@vanessaspecchio6783 imo its fine if you're meeting up and getting food or something before/after, otherwise it's not really a good idea if you're meeting someone for the first time because it leaves no room to actually talk and get to know someone
Same, I don't understand that as a first date. You don't really get to know them (unless maybe you go out to eat or smth afterward, then the movie could be a conversation starter)
@@yashminarannee1927 because if you've been on "so many 1st dates" (which suggests something at least half grown up) that have gone nowhere when you're 18 years old like she is then you have to be extremely picky and judgemental right off the blocks or both.
Split the bill 100% of the time, we both spent time getting ready, we both drove, we both wanted to go on the date. If she expects me to pay for the bill, I'll walk out the door
Why would you ask to go on a date if you’re going to waste the other person’s money? YOU asked. YOU should pay. You want the person to be happy and prove yourself to be someone who’s not cheap? Pay. It’s really that simple.
Normalize bill splitting on dates. And communicate before. Talk about who’s paying or if you both will. Dont assume they’re gonna pay, regardless of who asked who. Don’t go somewhere if you BOTH can’t afford it. Dates are not free meals 🤨 I hope and feel as though Spencer knows this but too many people don’t grasp the basic concept of dating so I feel it needed to be said.
I'll likely get fussed at, but bring back men being gentlemen and paying for the belle they are with. I definitely agree with maintain communication though.
@@alexdaunoy9678 I think most men are willing to pay, we just don’t like that it’s an expectation. It just seems weird that men should do things just because we’re men while women should be able to do whatever they want without consequence. It’s like “ok I will always pay. So what do I get in return?” How dare you expect anything from her. She doesn’t owe you anything.
Okay and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
Okay and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
As a gentleman’s agreement I always offer to pay the entire tab for the first date regardless if I ask or not, but from about the 3rd or 4th date onward I don’t feel obligated to pick up the entire tab. And it usually ends up being that I pay for the food while she pays for the tickets if she invited me and if she objects from a sense of “men-should-always-pay” standpoint or I get sense that I’m just being used for money, I end the date right there.
the thing about bill splitting is one person could order something way more expensive than the other and then the person who ordered the cheap item has to cover a bit of their cost which seems unfair, and the entire point of bill splitting is that its meant to be fair. i think the whoever asks pays rule works pretty well
I wrote a four page paper on the 10 ways to trash a first date in college when I was 45. After reading it out loud every student wanted a copy lol. It’s much easier to do than you think
and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
I've been watching a few of ur vids lately, they are absolutely magnificent. Just a slight request from u though, could a make a vid about guys too(like their pov). TY in advance
I’m glad you mentioned the movie date. I’ve always been against it and haven’t met many people who have put any thought into it. Now if you’ve already known the person real well before you start dating then I guess it’s ok. But if you just met him or her, you need to talk and get to know each other and see if there’s any more things in common and if there’s a small attraction. Can’t do that if you are sitting quiet for 2 hours then leave.
Rule no 1 of dating ..Don't relate humans to random things. You'll be in trouble. Because the logic is inherently faulty. 1. In reality, women would be the 'fishermen'. But you don't see us going around making such condescending statements about men. 2. A fish looses its life in fishing. It will never tell you where you can find it, ignoring the obvious interspecies language barrier. Talking to a women will help you get to other women. Don't ask men about what to do for the most accurate results lol they are on the same situation as you bro. Its like asking a student what will be in the quiz instead of the teacher. Some men maybe successful but they might have been just lucky. So ask the same gender where possible. 3. Go into dating with a respectable and open approach. It's not about catching a good deal or trapping someone. There is no fisherman nor fish. Just two humans trying to find each other. Don't be THAT weirdo and take dating seriously.
I’m not sure if you think she’s imposing these things on people before she goes on a date. She is just aware of these things to see if she’s actually interested or if it’s gonna be a flop
I dont think she sends her dates a power point. These are just standards and preferences she has. Everyone is entitled to have standards for who and how they want to date.
Not necessarily for example when she says whoever ask for the date pays It’s another way of her saying you’re going to pay because how many girls ask guys out or meet me there if you’re a nine out of 10 dude you don’t even need a date most of the time the day is happening at one of your houses
Girl: if i show up in a cute dress and put up well together then you dont show up in sweaters Also girl when asked to dress nicely: I dReSs FoR mYsElF nOt FoR tHe OtHeRs
All the dates that I've been on (successful or not) have been good because there were no financial expectations. I offered to pay the tab. She wanted to pay for something so we agreed that I buy mains and sides. She got drink and deserts. She wanted to pay for bowling so I got drinks and nibbles. She paid for the alley. I paid her taxi bill on the way home because she paid more at bowling. It worked brilliantly. Despite the fact some didn't romantically work out. We stayed friends and went out together again
I do like the “whoever asks pays” as a rule, but 99.99% of the time it’s the guy asking. Some of us have never been asked out….ever. I like the equal effort rule except my situation was different. I came in nice jeans, polo shirt, clean shaven, etc. she had on torn baggy sweatpants and a stained hoodie that she stole from her ex-bf. needless to say there was no second date
Exactly there’s a saying that don’t listen to what a girl says look at what she does and this guy actually do experiment where he ran to the same girl on a dating site with his account and the accounts of a chad/Jock type dude same bio pretty much the only thing that was different was who the guy was she was talking to the guy on his regular tell about how she doesn’t go home on the first date and Shirley wants relationships and when he asked have you ever had casual sex she was so upset about that question she blocked him while with the chad she had no problem telling him she wanted to have some fun no date talking about how attractive he was
I know it’s long but basically it just depends on your attractiveness level you think she would be making dating this hard for a guy like Drake or Michael B Jordan and let’s pretend they’re not even celebrities but a guy who is a regular 5/10 you have to jump through all these hoops
"Whoever asks pays" works if you're in a relationship but a first date is almost always initiated by the guy in heteronormative relationships. So at first glance it sounds fair but in actuality it's not. Just buy your own food. If you dont have enough money to eat then you shouldn't be focused on dating at that point in your life. Just my opinion.
My rule is if we go on a date, we both pay for our own meals unless one of us expressly states that we will be TREATING the other. I mean, who knows how long we'll be together in the future? If one person is constantly paying for meals for everyone they date, regardless of gender, they will quickly run out of money. It has always worked for me 🤷♀️
Okay and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
How about starting off as friends instead, slowly getting to know each other. Becoming best friends and then one day when you're both having a great time going in for a kiss? These are the types of relationships that last decades (I can confidently say that with all the people I know and family I have)
So many just think they need to have sex right away. Sorry but if someone doesn’t want you because you won’t have sex right away, then they aren’t it. Sex complicates things, and it’s a shame sex has turned into just some regular ol physical activity. It’s really a spiritual thing, you are literally bonding and becoming a Union. So if there isn’t already a commitment, then you really shouldn’t be having sex. Not setting rules here, just giving advice for healthier relationships
@@jakeseeley2712 Nobody asked you for any advice once so ever. Being good or bad. Let others be and let them live however the hell they want. It is not only a birth right but God damn human right.
I'm an old fashion guy. But I REALLY appreciate your viewpoint on paying for the date. Dating is a HUGE financial commitment for a guy for something that may not work out long-term. Kudos But the question is, How often do YOU actually ask a guy out or how often do girls you know ask a guy out?
I also am an old fashioned gentleman. I am of the opinion that the man, as the gentleman (or supposed gentleman when referring to many folks in this era), pays for everything. Can it be expensive, yes, but as one of the rules imposed on me as a youth (a rule my dad borrowed from one of my friend's dad): Suck it up buttercup. When I had a girlfriend at age nineteen, I paid for everything and she ultimately was begging me to let her pay for something. I told her that I was going to be the gentlemen and pay for everything and that she didn't have to waste her money on me and could spend it on herself. Even something as cheap as a quarter for duck feed at a duck pond I paid for. But that's my philosophy and I intend to hold by it till my dying day.
My ex often comes up in conversation because we were together 5 years and moved to a different country together. Almost all of my stories have him in them. I am over him 100%. I wouldn't be put off remotely by someone mentioning their ex unless it was to badmouth them. That's a red flag.
That's cute and all, but nobody wants to hear about all of your wonderful romantic escapades with your EX while they're trying to figure out if they want to date you long-term. Nobody
@@thereisnotryv1971 I think kezia meant references in passing, in order to describe past experiences. That's different from spewing unresolved emotional baggage on someone you just met
@@hankhippopopalous5826 Yea, I mean this is my rule of thumb, but anyone that meant something to me at any point in my life, I will never talk shit about them/will never tell their things they wanted to keep confidential. It also looks like a red flag to a new partner if you talk shit about an ex cause they will think you will do the same to them.
@@kaylaberlin5886 Well, I'm glad that you did that. You are the minority of girls however. Most women expect the man to do it, so spreading that "whoever asks pays" is extremely bad for everyone who thinks equality is important when most women expect the guy to ask them out.
Well i mean if you like her you cant expect her to read your mind and ask you out. I do agree that their should be equal money spending and that we cant expect the guys to pay for everything.
99 percent of the time the guy is the one who asks a girl on a date. Which means 99 percent of the time ur Gonna have to whip out the wallet after your meal 😂
This girl be like: my rules for a party, my rules for a date, my rules for the airport, my rules for taking a shit, my rules for sleeping, my rules for farting, my rules for walking.
If you’re on a first date with someone who isn’t over YOUR ex, that sounds like a nightmare and you should run.
Lmfao
Couldn't read over your big ass head girl lol
J Z I'm embarrassed I didn't think of that one 😂🤣😂
Yes !! I learned my lessons , I lasted months with a person who told me he had love for he’s ex but wasn’t in love with her . Oh , best believe i ran but he end up catching up. With manipulating tactics . So he did everything for me to fall in love and in the end he left after many times of telling him that he needed to heal . He left !!! 😂. Sorry I have to laugh at the most stupidest thing I did . What was I thinking ? Now I’m looking back and everything was a lie , people out here are so quick in jumping into a relationship and then hurting the person after they did everything to help them out . The irony !
Lmfaooooooooooooo sounds like a fucking set up to me 💀💀💀💀
I’d definitely say that the bill is split regardless of who asked who.
"damn I forgot my wallet"
I’ve never done that..
How do you typically handle when the guy insists on paying tho?, especially if it's the second or third date...
I completely disagree. You don’t invite someone and then expect them to pay for something you invited them for unless you make them aware beforehand. You don’t know other people’s budgets
@@chrisjfox8715 I just tell them in advance that I’ll pay. I usually alternate paying for second and third dates. I pay for one date and he pays for the other.
For the “whoever asks pays” rule…seems pretty convenient when it’s the guy who asks 99% of the time.
Such a red herring.
Yup. Even if they ask the vast majority of the time they will still expect men to pay.
I dont get the whole "women need men to pay" or "men only ask women out" cuz I've gotten rejected every time I asked someone out and I'd definitely pay if someone accepted.
@@nikkisumesh ask me ;)
I promise you women ask men out all the time. If that doesnt happen to you then I got some news 😬
When you can’t talk about your ex because you have never been in a relationship before
Lol
Truth
Same😂😂
Aye same why else would I watch this vid lmao
Puts you at an advantage!
they paying one is my opinion also. i think whoever initiates or offers the date should pay for it. why would i ask a guy out and then expect him to pay for our food? that just doesn't make sense to me lmao
Likely just me, but I'm one who'll pay for everything. The lone time I was in a relationship, eventually my girlfriend was begging me to let her pay for something. I didn't let her. In my opinion, it's the man's responsibility to care for and to treat the lady irrespective of who initiates.
@A cat on his hind legs. yeah but like restaurant dates
@@alexdaunoy9678 thanks grandpa
@@davidvanhorn2493 Decent chance you're older than I am. I'm certainly not old enough to be a grandfather.
@@alexdaunoy9678 keep simping
" I've been to so many first dates"
"Girl that sounds like a you problem"
Yeah that's why she said that it's her opinion.duh!
“Whoever asks pays” lol the guy has to ask like 95% of the time
I know right 🙄, for real 🤷🏽♂️... some are 100% of the time! 💯
So while they're out there getting free dates left, right and centre 💁🏽♂️... you're gonna end up broke spending all your money on dates that might not work out in the end anyway 😱. Lol! 😅
@@kieronflood1913 right* not rite 💀
That’s how you know she’s a very smart scammer😂
Exactly, not convinient for guys.
Idk why y'all are being rude to her bc I saw a few rude comments, but just stop
I think that you should do whatever you want. If you want specific things, let the other person know and ask them how they feel about it. Don’t expect other people to know what you want. Communication is key
100% agreed. Before the 1st date, there definitely should be a rules & expectation meeting or something like that. I had a girl say to me after we finished eating at some restaurant: "so you're paying right?" I was like: "🙄... for what I ordered yes..." needless to say, it wasn't an ideal situation. The funny part is, I asked her beforehand if she had an preferences, guidelines or anything else I should know about. But she said: just surprise me. I guess we both ended up surprised, lol.
@@talonskye5577 hahaha
I think we should normalise bill splitting....idk if you can't pay for your food then don't go on a date. Dates aren't free meals.....this goes for everyone, regardless of gender!
especially when both of you have met on Tinder
💯.. now, we're talking!
@Almighty doesn't sound harsh at all. It's true 💯💯
I haven't dated that many women but my policy is "I'm willing to pay for the first date but we split after that." This has never been an issue. I think its the type of woman I attract given my attitude on relationships and money; I want to be with someone where there is mutual attraction, not with someone who thinks I'm "alright and pays for nice things". Also, it is wise to be financially prudent to set one up success if dates turn into a long-term-relationship/marriage.
Been dating my girlfriend a little over a year and we take turns paying for eating out, activities, etcetera.
@Almighty so you can only date if you have money? You need to get more imaginative with your dates, you don't have to pay for anything on a date.
"The person who asks pays." ...so the guy
Yeah thats the way of saying "the guy always pays" without actually saying it
The guy does usually make the first move, but once you’re in a relationship the girl asks the guy on dates a lot too
Well you could just try to hold out and not ask
@@moodsofkiwi9285 What I've found is that girls who are straightforward and will ask you will ask around the same time you'd ask a girl. Those are the best ones.
@@Aaron-kj8dv Exactly when people say that that’s what I thought go to my head because generally girls are asking guys on dates especially if he’s not a chad
Girl: I’d pay for the date if I asked the person
Shrek: LIKE THATLL EVER HAPPEN
Keyword: IF
Okay and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
@@iknowyou6725 If you’re a girl and can’t afford to split the bill then just don’t date
@@leenguyen6056 stay mad 😂
@@iknowyou6725 you mad cuz you’re broke?
19 and so knowledgeable! Good job!
Ex part was damn accurate. Never again. Thank you for this. 💖✨
What’s the dress code? Do I give my resume up front or online? Is a cover letter necessary? Unofficial Transcript?
Yeah, when I'm not at work, I'm not doing the dress code. The suit comes off, and it's time to chill. I don't work my butt off just to have to dress up during my social time. Hard Pass, thanks!
For real. If she just decides to dress up and I want to be comfortable don’t blame me.
I believe this fall into communicating where's the date going to be at.
@@snowangel92100 ...or even communicating whether there will BE a date or not. I've got things to do at home. I guess if she comes over and helps me with those things, then she might earn a date. After the work is done
@@jeromewesselman4653 thats what she meant by equal effort though. What you wear depends on the context. If you're going somewhere more formal then *she* (its her opinion not mine) expects more than sweats. If it's something that calls for sweats, more power to ya. Personally since it's a first date I would try to dress to impress anyway.
For me paying kinda depended on financial situation. With most dates I've been on, I'm the one that's the most financially stable, highest pay etc so in my eyes it's just decent to pay or at least offer to pay
Dat is precies de reden waarom je het niet moet doen. Ze zijn "sterk" genoeg volgens eigen zeggen, laat ze ook hun eigen lasten of een x die van ons dragen. Jij bent nog "traditioneel" terwijl zij alle hekken van de dam hebben gegooid en nog wel verwachten dat wij alles voor hun blijven doen. Dude, chicks kunnen niet eens meer koken vandaag de dag (buiten airfryer)
That makes sense. Some of these men broke out here so it makes sense if your financially stable you'd offer
Yeah, these are basically my rules too. I don't mind paying for the first date, I'd usually expect the girl to pay on the second date then.
This makes sense :)
You'll have to be able to use magic to make that happen.
I really like the no movies on a first date. It's a clean slate and the objective of the first date is to get to know them as much as possible so you can decide if you want that second date with them. Movies get in the way of that.
That "whoever asks, pays" rule sounds like a fair rule but in practice it just isn't. Guys are expected to ask out the woman on the first date to where 99 times out of 100 it's the guy who sets things up. It's a loophole to get guys to pay without "expecting" them to pay. In that scenario if the date doesn't go well then the girl can say "at least I got a free coffee and a sweet roll out of the deal" but the guy has to go " that was a waste of both my time and my money." That's not equal. First date you should go into it as equals. If it works out great, set up the ground rules for date 2 and move on from there. If it fails there's no monetary loss, only wasted time.
I agree, movies are for people who already know each other. Tenth date maybe
I also agree, Dutch should be the social norm no matter who asks. Both potential partners need to have "skin in the game"-- time and resources invested. I'd go on more dates if it wasn't so normalized for females to go just to get free stuff
Idk, a movie date would be a good idea because it's a conversation starter, specifically for a shy person I think
Well dang i havent done dates in years and just asked some to go to movie im chalked
@@vanessaspecchio6783 imo its fine if you're meeting up and getting food or something before/after, otherwise it's not really a good idea if you're meeting someone for the first time because it leaves no room to actually talk and get to know someone
Girl, you in the blue colour of your tank top looks ✨incredible✨
Oh finally I found someone saying this, it's definitely her color!
Yes! Finally someone that agrees that going to the movies isn't good for a first date 😂
Same, I don't understand that as a first date. You don't really get to know them (unless maybe you go out to eat or smth afterward, then the movie could be a conversation starter)
@@dariadaniellemusic Fully agree with you
No, you sit there and stare at a screen for 2 hours. I could do that with my dog and literally have the same exact experience.
@@Aaron-kj8dv facts 😂
Exactly! You aren't talking, you aren't getting to know eachother. You're sitting silently with a stranger. I always thought it was weird.
The fact you've been on "so many" first dates is a huge red flag.
💯
For real
Literally, why??
@@yashminarannee1927 because if you've been on "so many 1st dates" (which suggests something at least half grown up) that have gone nowhere when you're 18 years old like she is then you have to be extremely picky and judgemental right off the blocks or both.
@@MarkSiosal yeah she’s picky cause she doesn’t want the scraps. Ok
This girl doesn't come off as one who's EVER asked a dude on a date. Enjoy your free meals
Really? The more I watch of her, I get the impression she usually initiates
@@mattholt2451 lol
Split the bill 100% of the time, we both spent time getting ready, we both drove, we both wanted to go on the date. If she expects me to pay for the bill, I'll walk out the door
Trigger trae young is underrated
Exactly!! Same
If you ASKED HER you should expect to pay. Same goes for her asking you.
@@dailymadness9129 no
Enjoy being single the rest of your life bro 😂
Equal effort = split the bill. If a girl doesn't split the bill, I won't ask for a second date
Why would you ask to go on a date if you’re going to waste the other person’s money? YOU asked. YOU should pay. You want the person to be happy and prove yourself to be someone who’s not cheap? Pay. It’s really that simple.
omg she absolutely slayed that messy bun
Not gonna lie, I never knew u were an actress until I saw a commercial for a TV show with u in it and researched your name to make sure it was you 😅😆
Um WHAT the link if anyone has it?!
What was the Tv show?
I dont remember I think it was called Trouble or something
Hol up
Normalize bill splitting on dates. And communicate before. Talk about who’s paying or if you both will. Dont assume they’re gonna pay, regardless of who asked who. Don’t go somewhere if you BOTH can’t afford it. Dates are not free meals 🤨
I hope and feel as though Spencer knows this but too many people don’t grasp the basic concept of dating so I feel it needed to be said.
Totally agree.
I'll likely get fussed at, but bring back men being gentlemen and paying for the belle they are with. I definitely agree with maintain communication though.
@@alexdaunoy9678 I think most men are willing to pay, we just don’t like that it’s an expectation. It just seems weird that men should do things just because we’re men while women should be able to do whatever they want without consequence. It’s like “ok I will always pay. So what do I get in return?” How dare you expect anything from her. She doesn’t owe you anything.
Okay and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
@@iknowyou6725 the whole truth
ok but how do you pull off a bun so well?? ur literally stunning
“You don’t have to kiss… but sometimes you wanna kiss” Ahhhhhh I lover her so much😭
“Whoever asks pays” knowing damn well she never asks
This sent me 😂😂
and how would you know that trey
@@miamicutie-qh6gk Cmon, because it's reality. Like 2 plus 2 is 4, women never ask.
@@noremac0575 maybe nobody liked you yet. Many women asked me out
Okay and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
As a gentleman’s agreement I always offer to pay the entire tab for the first date regardless if I ask or not, but from about the 3rd or 4th date onward I don’t feel obligated to pick up the entire tab. And it usually ends up being that I pay for the food while she pays for the tickets if she invited me and if she objects from a sense of “men-should-always-pay” standpoint or I get sense that I’m just being used for money, I end the date right there.
Yeah. Switch up on these hos
the thing about bill splitting is one person could order something way more expensive than the other and then the person who ordered the cheap item has to cover a bit of their cost which seems unfair, and the entire point of bill splitting is that its meant to be fair. i think the whoever asks pays rule works pretty well
Sometimes bringing up the trauma of the past is actually helpful to getting to know someone and how they need to be loved
Yes but not during your first impression of them.
@@TanoookiMario377 of course not
Remember rules can always be broken.
Thanks for being so cute n real. I ignore the fact that guys ignore the fact that u look cute
Nobody ignores that. We just choose not to ignore that she’s obnoxious
I agree, great little pocket video for those that freak out about dates defo do a part 2!
I wrote a four page paper on the 10 ways to trash a first date in college when I was 45. After reading it out loud every student wanted a copy lol. It’s much easier to do than you think
whoever asks pays for the dates? LOL women never ask
and they dont pay so it works out
and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
I've been watching a few of ur vids lately, they are absolutely magnificent.
Just a slight request from u though, could a make a vid about guys too(like their pov).
TY in advance
I’m glad you mentioned the movie date. I’ve always been against it and haven’t met many people who have put any thought into it. Now if you’ve already known the person real well before you start dating then I guess it’s ok. But if you just met him or her, you need to talk and get to know each other and see if there’s any more things in common and if there’s a small attraction. Can’t do that if you are sitting quiet for 2 hours then leave.
you earned my respect at whoever asked for the date pays for it
Rule no1 for dating (guys)
You don't take dating advice from the fish...you take advice from the fisherman
Girls aren‘t fish waiting to be caught
Rule no 1 of dating ..Don't relate humans to random things. You'll be in trouble. Because the logic is inherently faulty.
1. In reality, women would be the 'fishermen'. But you don't see us going around making such condescending statements about men.
2. A fish looses its life in fishing. It will never tell you where you can find it, ignoring the obvious interspecies language barrier. Talking to a women will help you get to other women. Don't ask men about what to do for the most accurate results lol they are on the same situation as you bro. Its like asking a student what will be in the quiz instead of the teacher.
Some men maybe successful but they might have been just lucky. So ask the same gender where possible.
3. Go into dating with a respectable and open approach. It's not about catching a good deal or trapping someone. There is no fisherman nor fish. Just two humans trying to find each other. Don't be THAT weirdo and take dating seriously.
@@blueshoes5145 it was meant to be a joke dude chill out
Lmao fax never listen to women they don’t know what they want
@@ilias_lag_ lol she wrote a whole thesis
If she sends you a list of rules when you ask her out for the first time...just cancel it.
I’m not sure if you think she’s imposing these things on people before she goes on a date. She is just aware of these things to see if she’s actually interested or if it’s gonna be a flop
I dont think she sends her dates a power point. These are just standards and preferences she has. Everyone is entitled to have standards for who and how they want to date.
💯
@@CC-rv4zc don't blame men if we reject unattractive and obese chicks
Ur actually a weirdo. You all ops need a man yourself. The jealousy be radiating this time of year
I would say it needs to be memorable. My mom knows exactly what she did on her first date with my dad, and it is so sweet. I would love to do that
This is actually good advice. I'm in a long distance relationship and I think you are right.
I agree with all of this rules to be honest and I’m a dude.
Not necessarily for example when she says whoever ask for the date pays It’s another way of her saying you’re going to pay because how many girls ask guys out or meet me there if you’re a nine out of 10 dude you don’t even need a date most of the time the day is happening at one of your houses
Girl: if i show up in a cute dress and put up well together then you dont show up in sweaters
Also girl when asked to dress nicely: I dReSs FoR mYsElF nOt FoR tHe OtHeRs
Dressing nice to run errands is up to you. Dressing nice for a date should be standard
I'd say those are all fair and reasonable expectations
i went on a first date with a guy the other day… we got boba and went to an outdoor shopping mall. he saw his ex there😭😭
On the very first date/meet, I do separate checks ALWAYS. I like to keep the first meet light and super non-committal.
All the dates that I've been on (successful or not) have been good because there were no financial expectations.
I offered to pay the tab. She wanted to pay for something so we agreed that I buy mains and sides. She got drink and deserts. She wanted to pay for bowling so I got drinks and nibbles. She paid for the alley.
I paid her taxi bill on the way home because she paid more at bowling.
It worked brilliantly. Despite the fact some didn't romantically work out. We stayed friends and went out together again
I do like the “whoever asks pays” as a rule, but 99.99% of the time it’s the guy asking. Some of us have never been asked out….ever. I like the equal effort rule except my situation was different. I came in nice jeans, polo shirt, clean shaven, etc. she had on torn baggy sweatpants and a stained hoodie that she stole from her ex-bf. needless to say there was no second date
bro she is SOOO GORGEOUS
I feel sorry for the guys dating this girl🤣. I’ve done the opposite of what she said and it turned out so good lol
Exactly there’s a saying that don’t listen to what a girl says look at what she does and this guy actually do experiment where he ran to the same girl on a dating site with his account and the accounts of a chad/Jock type dude same bio pretty much the only thing that was different was who the guy was she was talking to the guy on his regular tell about how she doesn’t go home on the first date and Shirley wants relationships and when he asked have you ever had casual sex she was so upset about that question she blocked him while with the chad she had no problem telling him she wanted to have some fun no date talking about how attractive he was
I know it’s long but basically it just depends on your attractiveness level you think she would be making dating this hard for a guy like Drake or Michael B Jordan and let’s pretend they’re not even celebrities but a guy who is a regular 5/10 you have to jump through all these hoops
It doesn't work for you with all the girls, silly
When u make someone pay for your time that relationship is already not equal
It’s not equal she’s better . If you want to go for a woman your equal lower your expectations
She’s worse*
Funny how she first says:
Who asks pays and then mentions equality 🤣🤣
ur so pretty!!
I'm definitely going to use these rules thank you!
"Whoever asks pays" works if you're in a relationship but a first date is almost always initiated by the guy in heteronormative relationships. So at first glance it sounds fair but in actuality it's not. Just buy your own food. If you dont have enough money to eat then you shouldn't be focused on dating at that point in your life. Just my opinion.
It is fair though. He wanted to go out with her so he pays
@@alsokaitlin I can appreciate that. But wouldn't you also say that she wanted to go out with him? Otherwise, why would she go?
@@richardroland9953 she literally said that in the video If she would ask she would pay
@@hellofriend3216 IF she would ask. Women dont ask 50% of the time. So it's not 50/50.
@@richardroland9953 well men cheat have of the time so it doesn’t matter
This video is insanely spot on
imagine the dates prompting each of these rules
My rule is if we go on a date, we both pay for our own meals unless one of us expressly states that we will be TREATING the other. I mean, who knows how long we'll be together in the future? If one person is constantly paying for meals for everyone they date, regardless of gender, they will quickly run out of money. It has always worked for me 🤷♀️
She displays all red flags, this girl is the exact thing to watch out for, she'll be single forever so only copy if that's what you want too
Shannon Gwynne you do know she has a boyfriend right??
@@carleenohalloran8975 a simp is more like a eunuch than a man though
As a man, these terms are acceptable compared to most.
as a movie enjoyer myself, I am offended in no movie dates
The issue with whoever asks pays is that guys are almost always the ones to ask since its socially odd for a girl to ask
Then wait for a girl to ask you 🤷
@@annabowen8276 they don’t
My issue with the “whoever asks pays” is that guys are the majority of the ones asking. Especially on a first date. Society tells us too
Okay and her current boyfriend pays for their dates. If you dont like girls that way, and can't afford them, then date who is on your level. Aint tht hard people
@Clipped stay mad goofy ah
Tbh these are the best rules Imma follow them
i love how positive you are girl
The bill split is part of the equal effort. Everything was good until the "whoever asks pays"
How about starting off as friends instead, slowly getting to know each other. Becoming best friends and then one day when you're both having a great time going in for a kiss? These are the types of relationships that last decades (I can confidently say that with all the people I know and family I have)
Who asked you for advice tho?
@@EvictionNotice51 Me
Fax
So many just think they need to have sex right away. Sorry but if someone doesn’t want you because you won’t have sex right away, then they aren’t it. Sex complicates things, and it’s a shame sex has turned into just some regular ol physical activity. It’s really a spiritual thing, you are literally bonding and becoming a Union. So if there isn’t already a commitment, then you really shouldn’t be having sex. Not setting rules here, just giving advice for healthier relationships
@@jakeseeley2712 Nobody asked you for any advice once so ever. Being good or bad. Let others be and let them live however the hell they want. It is not only a birth right but God damn human right.
Asking a fish for fishing advice 😂😂😂😂
Agree with all this especially the real effort one! Take that ALL THE WAY through the relationship too!
I'm an old fashion guy. But I REALLY appreciate your viewpoint on paying for the date. Dating is a HUGE financial commitment for a guy for something that may not work out long-term. Kudos
But the question is, How often do YOU actually ask a guy out or how often do girls you know ask a guy out?
I also am an old fashioned gentleman. I am of the opinion that the man, as the gentleman (or supposed gentleman when referring to many folks in this era), pays for everything. Can it be expensive, yes, but as one of the rules imposed on me as a youth (a rule my dad borrowed from one of my friend's dad): Suck it up buttercup. When I had a girlfriend at age nineteen, I paid for everything and she ultimately was begging me to let her pay for something. I told her that I was going to be the gentlemen and pay for everything and that she didn't have to waste her money on me and could spend it on herself. Even something as cheap as a quarter for duck feed at a duck pond I paid for. But that's my philosophy and I intend to hold by it till my dying day.
I wouldn’t do it. I am happy to pay for my food, but then it’s not a date. That’s just my opinion.
You’re very pretty
I agree with all those rules!
“I’ve been on so many awful dates”
There seems to be a common denominator
If he asks to split he ain't getting another date. He's either stingy or poor
Fine by us. That means we didn’t get used which is much more important than “potentially getting laid”
My ex often comes up in conversation because we were together 5 years and moved to a different country together. Almost all of my stories have him in them. I am over him 100%. I wouldn't be put off remotely by someone mentioning their ex unless it was to badmouth them. That's a red flag.
I agree with this!
That's cute and all, but nobody wants to hear about all of your wonderful romantic escapades with your EX while they're trying to figure out if they want to date you long-term. Nobody
@@thereisnotryv1971 I think kezia meant references in passing, in order to describe past experiences. That's different from spewing unresolved emotional baggage on someone you just met
Is it considered bad mouthing if everything you said about them is true?
@@hankhippopopalous5826 Yea, I mean this is my rule of thumb, but anyone that meant something to me at any point in my life, I will never talk shit about them/will never tell their things they wanted to keep confidential. It also looks like a red flag to a new partner if you talk shit about an ex cause they will think you will do the same to them.
That color looks great on you!!
I have this sinking feeling that YOU are gonna be on a lot ot "first" dates.
...which is the same thing as a "last" date
"Whoever asks pays". So basicly the man always pays. Equality 2021 anyone?
Why do you assume that only the guy asks the girl out?? I’ve asked people out before. It’s not a big deal. Like you said, it is 2021.
@@kaylaberlin5886 Well, I'm glad that you did that. You are the minority of girls however. Most women expect the man to do it, so spreading that "whoever asks pays" is extremely bad for everyone who thinks equality is important when most women expect the guy to ask them out.
@@inquisitortrevelyan2606 yup, and almost every girl that never asks says they do lol
You should get out more.
@@chrisjfox8715 What I'm saying is true though.
“Equal effort” and yet also apparently expects the man to pay. (She references “who ever asks pays” - women almost never ask).
"Who asks pays" which is why women never ask men out.
U gotta find the right person bro. Women will willingly pay if they actually like u
Nah woman ask men out they just don’t want ask you out
she’s just glowing
Honestly Spence your advice is da best! 😎
We’re done asking women on a date and we’re also done with paying for it.
Well i mean if you like her you cant expect her to read your mind and ask you out. I do agree that their should be equal money spending and that we cant expect the guys to pay for everything.
@@wiwi7902 usually the girls wanna pay, but the men insist that they pay
SPENCER!!!! I’m a huge fan!! Love your content! Thank you for being an amazing and beautiful inspiration ❤
Thank you for making this video btw
Me who says I hate my ex
Damn
I mean…nobody needs to know that you hate your ex.
99 percent of the time the guy is the one who asks a girl on a date. Which means 99 percent of the time ur Gonna have to whip out the wallet after your meal 😂
So true!
She's gorgeous 😍
Lol for the first one: “meet me there” my crush (possible bf 🤞🥴) rides my bus so he already knows where I live
My first rule:
- hands to yourself unless you wanna touch me so much, you can catch these hands
"Whoever asks pays" is girl talk for "I never pay for dates".
Spencer, you look soooooo good in blue!! 💙
These are pretty legit. Makes sense. I agree!
This girl be like: my rules for a party, my rules for a date, my rules for the airport, my rules for taking a shit, my rules for sleeping, my rules for farting, my rules for walking.
A future cat lady.
This is nice! I like your attitude, hopefully you get more second and thirds
The way she said "like for part twoo " just made me smile