Also I think we need to stop judging. When we open up and accept people with kindness, it becomes easy to accept yourself too. It’s when we are continuously judging others, we judged ourselves too.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” 👏🏻👏🏻 So helpful! There is a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that reminds me of this, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”
I was always very self conscious in social interactions/conversations until I heard this great advice from Jordan Peterson: "try making the person you are talking to feel as appreciated and interesting as you can." this really helped me focus on the things going on outside of my mind instead of hyperfocusing on my own shortcomings in speech and general social skills.
I needed to hear this! I grew up with parents who were very judgmental of the appearances of people around them, and it gave me the idea that everyone else around me must be picking me apart, too. Self esteem and social anxiety have been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember, but I'm definitely making progress. After having two sons, I recently found out that my third is a daughter (yay!!!) and I'm even more committed to breaking the patterns of judgment and gossip I grew up with so that she can grow up free from their crushing effects, and view herself and those around her with the dignity they deserve. ❤
I relate to so much of your comment. I can't remember a time in my childhood where I did not feel extremely insecure or overly sensitive toward the opinions of others. It's such an encouragement to realize we can break out of destructive patterns and prevent them from passing down to our children! I really admire you for recognizing this about yourself and protecting your children. Such an amazing mama!
You are not alone! My parents did the same thing and I just sort of always grew up with parents and my sister always commenting on anyone and everyone, usually in a negative light. This comment is life-changing because it is so true how this can play an impact on how we feel! I truly never thought of it that way until this comment and video, amazing!!!
A LOT of your message here echoes the values in Allie Beth Stuckey’s book “You Are Not Enough (and That’s Ok)”. She talks about how self-obsession and me-centered thinking makes us worship ourselves and the foolishness of the “goddess” mentality. I recommend it to any young woman!
Such great timing! As a 25-year old I'm striving to get my life back on track after years of anxiety and insecurity. Thank you so much for the advice and lots of love from the Netherlands☺
I am sending you so much love my dear! These patterns are extremely difficult to break out of, and I hope you know that I am so proud of you for taking the steps to do this for yourself. It's so worth it
This was so key in helping with my social anxiety. The best advice I ever got was to stop taking things personally-people are busy, they have their own problems, they're not hyper focusing on little things you do and being upset with you (not everything is about you). And it absolutely came from me, as a child, doing everything in my power to adjust and accommodate my parents' feelings and moods (me me me, what did I do? How can I fix this?) which is AWFUL and totally not how most adult people need to function in the world. Decentralizing myself has made me be able to actually look and see people I've known for years in ways I haven't before which was baffling but not surprising in hindsight!
I needed to hear this. I didn’t struggle with this until my mid 20’s and it stemmed from a toxic work environment…but it’s something I definitely need to work on. Especially as a Mom, so I can show my kids how to be confident in a healthy way
This couldn't have came at a better time, I just had a mental breakdown to my husband yesterday about my insecurity. I'm 3 weeks pp with my second baby and feeling at an all time low. Thank you!!
oof! That is a REALLY sensitive time. do not be hard on yourself!! Be very very gentle, take lots of time to relax, and don't focus on the mirror or anything like that. You have all the time in the world to heal, and it doesn't have to happen instantly! Sending you so much love my dear. I hope you can get rest and enjoy this time
Yo ladies are pretty and beautiful and know that so cool that u can have baby do wat Father said be fruitful and multiply. Read the Pslam it'll help u.
I’m really glad this video provides a different kind of perspective. I remember when I was a teen my mom told me “all your insecurities will go away by the time your 25.” And it’s like here I am at 27 just as insecure if not more haha. My boyfriend tells me the same thing about the whole “not everyone is out to get you.” Thing haha
I am 25, married, with a baby, and I still needed this. Being self conscious, averse to relationships, and overanalyzing my every move and word has governed me since adolescence. Thank you for making this video.
Remember, you can always talk to Jesus about your insecurities. 💕 Then you can learn to love yourself and take care of yourself to improve at the same time.
Gratitude has helped me tremendously, I worked through many issues with myself through gratitude. Also one tip from me to all you out there is also to keep a busy schedule with things you care about. When I saw how much I accomplished in one day already by just focusing on the task at hand I felt proud by the end of the year of what I had done and felt like a good person. Beautifying from the inside first will make you like yourself more , such as focusing on helping other people, animals and the environment and serve others and this earth. 💓 Edit: oh! you also said about being busy later in the video 😀
Great video! I’m a 28 year old guy and I for the first time in my life started to suffer from this a few years ago. Idle hands are the devils playground. I don’t know how I came across this video but I’m glad I did.
I am so late to the party here but Caitlin, thank you so much for a lovely video. I am in the uk. Older than you by far lol 48 have had six kids and have autism. You have just managed in a short video to vocalise what I am trying to explain to my 21 year old who struggles with this. I also did struggle with it but as Jehovah’s Witness have maybe a more balanced view than my adult child and certainly more gratitude for what god gave us. Have been struggling for five years to explain to her her own behaviour . Thank you so much. I love your content. It really resonates with me as well as It can be difficult in this strange system to be confidently feminine when the system is always fighting you. Please carry on. Your presentation is always great and so listenable. Thank you. Admiration from the uk x
This is really complicated because I feel I am trying to "work on myself" ALL THE TIME. I'm so tired. I don't know why I can just snap out of it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. The more I learn, the more my insecurities get worse and worse.
I recently read this scripture and it truly resonated with me and blessed my perspective on myself ☺️ “The compelling need to be more than what you are capable of ever becoming is the driving motivation behind perfectionism. It stems from deep insecurity, a gnawing fear that being the woman God made you to be is somehow not good enough” x
Honestly, when I saw this I was shocked that you ever felt self conscious and insecure because you have always seemed so beautiful and perfect. I have been feeling that way very much lately though. Perfect timing for this video. My most recent video is also an encouraging and inspiring one though.
you're so so sweet! But yes! Perhaps some of my reaching for total elegance and improvement has been an extension of my insecurities, but I'm grateful to relate with all of you on this topic. I'm glad you're making encouraging videos for ladies too! We need it on YT!
This is the most useful video I´ve seen on this topic. I get so tired of ruminating about me, myself and I, that I forget about the world and the good things about it (and me!). Thanks❤
Yes! I used to try to follow the advice to be confident by thinking good thoughts about myself but all it did was lead to more self-obsession 😅 I’m glad you found this advice helpful 😊
Every sentence has so much wisdom and you know it’s from the lessons you learned & you didn’t settle or give up..Much needed at this time during my 2nd pregnancy. Thank you Caitlyn ❤
hahaha thank you! No worries, I appreciate feedback on my speech from these videos. And yes I kind of wish I saw a video like this way back in my tween years too LOL. I can feel shy too and it's sometimes a stretch to break out of that. Just the other day I found myself skipping a grocery aisle because someone I knew was shopping it, and I had to fight the anxiety to go back and be social and friendly LOL. We all struggle!
@@MrsMidwest It’s so endearing and makes me giggle 😄 Aww bless you… I still sometimes do things like that too! Oh you should definitely visit Bath if ever you get the chance 🛁 it’s brimming with Jane Austen vibes, beautiful Georgian/Roman architecture, and a delightful ‘tea and cake’ culture; I feel very lucky to be here and I know you’d adore it! Thanks for replying, it’s made my day 😇
Wooooo this was always a huge struggle for me since I can remember, which just piled on way more as a mom! Growing up in a situation where I had to not make any waves in order to stay safe, I grew up with no individuality and only knew how to read others to see how I needed to act and who I needed to be in that season to protect myself. It’s made my whole reality of myself and the world around me warped. Fighting to overcome this!
I completely understand the feeling of having a warped view of reality and those around you. It truly has been such a relief to have my husband as my best friend because he is the LEAST insecure person I've ever encountered, and he's taught me his way of life LOL. Proud of you for fighting to overcome it. It's amazing how much we can grow if we just put our hearts and minds into the inner work. xoxo
Yes indeed. I can relate to being critical and self conscious, and being overly critical of other people that often I barely even know and made up my mind about. I love the scripture that talks about adding to our faith virtue, and virtue knowledge, and knowledge perseverance, and perseverance self-control, to self control brotherly-kindness, and brotherly kindness love. That puts it back in perspective that I should be allowing Yah to work on my heart and grow in these godly qualities. Taking every thought captive. Holding it up to His word. Bless all you gals who are on this journey too. ❤
You and I have very different lives, but your videos are like my comfort food content that I like to watch while cleaning my apartment ❤ also, it would be amazing if you made a video of home-making tips for beginners. Kind of like your beauty checklist one (where you divide beauty into hair, skin, and beauty details) but for housekeeping/home-making instead of beauty ❤
Started my dream job a month ago. I spent all my time stressing about what people must be thinking of me and judging about me. Imposter syndrome and insecurities has felt like it's run my entire life! I know it stems from my inner child, I had learning disabilities, special teachers, and was in ESL until Grade 3. I always felt dumb and like I stood out like a sore thumb. This is a much needed message for me, so thank you Mrs. Midwest. I'm learning that I'm not so special ha! (ME ME ME, really resonated) Everyone is struggling with something inside, even the most perfect seeming people. Who cares if I have flaws? I'm a human and this message today is reminding me that I need to accept myself and put my energy into serving others. :)
You have no idea how much I needed this. Got a huge rush of insecurity the last few weeks after having my third baby. Way more than I have after my last two births. I realize I’m focusing too much on myself.
This couldn’t have come at a better time as I’m going to a social gather this evening and I’m always so self conscious when I’m around new people. I’m so afraid people don’t like me and will make fun of me when I leave. Also, I so feel the part about how if you don’t feel productive and achieved then that contributes. I definitely feel this way and need to work on it.
This is a really insightful comment Heather! Thank you for sharing with us :) It's a fine balance between hanging our worth on productivity while also realizing that we need to feel good about the work we do here on earth! I relate to that so much. And I totally understand the fears that people will speak negatively after you leave a social interaction. Especially when you've had that actually happen before! I've found that training myself to live and let live has been really helpful, like telling myself after I leave: I cannot control what happens in my absence, so I am choosing to release it from my mind and heart. It helps too to make sure you are surrounded by genuine people who you trust-- people you KNOW will not speak poorly of you for no reason. xoxo
Wow! I can totally relate to this and I'm still struggling with self-consciousness and insecurity. I'm currently in therapy and I've found that to be somewhat helpful but I feel like the way you articulated the points and how to apply it makes so much sense to me. Especially as a Christian, I feel like I needed to hear it like this. Thank you so much for thinking about and making this video!
Absolutely! It's wonderful that you are applying therapy to your life as well. I didn't touch on therapy, but I really think that the right therapist can do wonders for getting us to break out of these harmful mindsets. I had a therapist in university who supported me through breaking away from harsh and soul-sucking relationships, and I'll never forget her for how she helped me
Thank you so much for this reminder! I love the point on focusing on gratitude because I know in my life I have so much to be grateful for! I grew up with a wonderful but also very critical family, which is honestly sad because so many of those critical people not only are critical of others but also themselves and don’t see the good in life or in them. I like to remind myself that Jesus valued me enough to endure and overcome Calvary not because I am flawless or perfect, but because He loved me enough to see someone worth saving. And for that I’m very grateful! Thank you for your sweet demeanor and willingness to be open with others to help them. 💕🌸
Thank you! I feel like the last point you made is missed a lot in the self conscious realm. . ACTION is so important. You can't fool yourself into thinking you're fine the way you are when what you are isn't where or what you want to be. Go to the gym, take a dance class, volunteer, or...like you said: just match the loose socks. Start small and work your way up :) Always love your videos Caitlin! ❤
I saw this channel for the first time today via a Reddit post. And everything you shared is absolutely on point and really comforting. I needed this so much. Thanks!
I love this video so much! I completely agree with how taking the focus off ourselves make us feel so much more confident. You truly are like a big sister. Instead of feeling insecure, I feel so inspired to continue growing and becoming my best self. 💓
I used to be so self conscious about the acne that covered my face and just being inadequate in general. I eventually got so tired of how terrible and insecure I felt that I just.... stopped... I stopped focusing on myself and that inadvertently caused me to lose those feelings of insecurity. I still get them from time to time but I shift my focus away from myself and I'm fine. I never was able to figure out why it worked but after watching this video, it makes sense to me
I really like the fact your brought up the idea that having these negative thought patterns for years, it's what has been comfortable and what one resorts to and that planting those new patterns of gratitude takes effort and time😭 It can feel so disappointing when you think you're doing better for a while and then fall back into the cycles but taking this perspective into account is really helpful and makes a lot of sense, thank you!!
You are a very wise woman and I am so grateful I found your channel. This is really helpful and inspiring me to change as opposed to be wallowing in relentless complaints. God bless you and your family❤
I've struggled with this for such a long time and I've prayed for God to help me overcome it. I've definitely seen improvement but after being this way for nearly 20 years, I know just 2 years of change will seem small.
I needed this video today. Thank you Mrs Midwest, it is so inspiring to know there are other feminine ladies out there with similar values to mine who struggle with the same things I do. May God bless you and your family ❤
I loved this video and the practical advice! Some of the advice I see online suggest the opposite of insecurity such as not giving a f*** about what others think and just doing you, which just turns us into narcissists. The opposite of insecurity is not pride but rather the source, the antidote is humility! Having hobbies, getting outside (physically and mentally), creating a healthy social group, and developing structure does wonders!
Yes I found that fixating on "I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK" kind of made me obsessed with what people thought 😆 😂 it's a vicious cycle. I appreciate your thoughts on this!
Thank you so much for all the work you put into your videos and content, Caitlin! I've followed your channel for several years, but now is really when I've been digging into your feminity and self-improvement content to heal from some bad habits I developed in college (giving up all hobbies, becoming overly stressed leading to an eating disorder, and losing interest in so many life-giving things, and all that jazz) As a newly minted wife, I've fallen in love with your earlier content all over again, and I'm loving your recent videos as well. Please keep doing what you're doing; it is appreciated and valued. Love to you and your sweet fam!
Thank you for sharing your heart ❤️ with us. It's so helpful and comforting to know that others have struggles with this kind if thing; and to get some beautiful tips on how to manage and move forward during the tougher times. I love your content and always appreciate your genuine spirit. God bless you and your family. 😊
Self conciousness often leads to people becoming narcissists. I know it sounds contradictory, but narcissism isn't just "everyone loves me, look at me!". It can also be "everyone hates me, look at me!". In both situations, we are led to believe that we're different, important, special even. I too was one of these "victim narcissists" in high school. My life improved so much once I stopped throwing myself pity parties and self-victimizing. The victim mentality is truly so unattractive and repels all sorts of human connections. At the end of the day, I realized that I'm really not that important and should stop treating myself as such.
Thanks for making this video! My dad can be an over critical person sometimes and actually rather than making me feel insecure or self conscious, it just makes me mad because I'm in my late thirties and just don't care what other people think anymore. I think if I feel self conscious about anything it's that I'm single in my late thirties and haven't been asked out in a long time. I was scared of people when I was a kid, but by the time I got to middle school, my class had this attitude of who cares what people think. That way of thinking helped in a huge way because when I was worried about being bullied due to what people thought, I was afraid to voice my opinions. Sometimes I do feel self conscious about my face, but I try to just get on with my day and stay busy with work, going on a bike ride or do some writing or some other creative project.
I benefit so much from these videos Caitlin! And my friends can see the positive change! I’ve also started sharing your videos with them, and I can see the positive change in them! Thank you for bringing such wholesome goodness to our lives - you’re beautiful, inside and out 🤍🙂🌷 Blessings x
"No matter your walk of life" ❤ I also think we become more self confident with age, being 32 I am just more stable in myself, you know you can depend on yourself. You just don't give a f... ^^ Thank you for this video!
I always see people saying be confident because no one is actually judging you or paying attention but it’s not true. My sister is extremely pretty and whenever we go out she gets lots of looks including jealousy and rude comments from other girls and women. It has actually made me self conscious seeing how people can be so mean towards pretty people 😂 advice would be appreciated x
Yes I address this at the end! Create distance from those relationships until you’re strong enough to handle it without it turning your world upside down !
As someone who overcame her self consciousness I agree with your suggestion because that's what I did too. I stop focusing too much on myself. I stopped thinking, and start doing (focusing on what I was doing or adding things to do to take my mind out of myself)
I love you and love your videos. I struggle a lot with anxiety and childhood issues. I feel like I will never be good enough to have a family and raise kids. But I fight those feelings everyday
This is so helpful!!! I notice these patterns with myself too and started doing the opposite, it definitely worked and made me feel better. Your video just confirmed it❤️
Vitamin C helps your body produce collagen/skin elasticity. The collagen supplements don't really help with this. Idk if this might help but Vitamin C is what helps skin!
09:35 I would like to add on this point: even if someone is actually for real is after me, this doesn't mean that I should just let them do, or that it's ok to for them to beat me... I realized that in myself few months ago, that I expect people to beat me and I acted as if it's ok for them to do so, when I realized how I felt at that moment I was so blown out and thought: but why did I feel like it's fine to let them beat me??? I'm not like that I can defend myself..and this thought reduced my anxiety tonss
In hs I thought I was pretty set in life, my parents and older siblings all struggled with self consciousness and isolation however I was different they’d always tell me growing up how happy they were about it. However my last year of hs I just cut off from the world. I had a surgery and needed a few months of bed rest and I decided not to go back to finish school. That was the start of my downward spiral. I got used to being home being alone, didn’t feel like going out with my hs friends bc I didn’t graduate. I now am 26 married and still struggle so much with these feelings of insecurities looking down on my self, just overthinking about my next steps in life. Thank you for the encouragement!
This video came up at just the right time 😅 Thank you SO much for your advice! My self consciousness would cause me to basically self sabatoge. I grew up in a small town and neighborhood kids and people were especially judgemental and to a unhealthy degree
Self-sabotage, that's the word I was missing! Yes! I would cancel plans or end text conversations prematurely as a self-sabotage method because I was afraid of being vulnerable. I also grew up in a super tight-knit town with a ton of gossip... maybe that has more of an influence on us than we realize 😔
Advice from Mrs. Midwest is the best!!! ❤️ Thanks for sharing your wisdom and encouragement with us! This feminine family really appreciates your lovely online content and your beautiful presence! I hope you are having an amazing Spring! ✨ Be blessed! 🤗
I love this video!!! It was so good to hear. I have identified an overly critical person in my life. I also just assume people are saying such and such about me. This video has helped and given me the confidence to help me get over my self-consciousness. I appreciate your heart-to-heart talk! You did a great job!!! Please make more videos like this!! 😀👐
Your nails look absolutely beautiful and lovely. Perhaps you can one day do a video on handcare and natural nail. Love your channel, think you were one of the first channels I've ever watched
Hi Caitlin! Can you make a video about how to make friends as an adult woman? I find it so card to find other ladies I connect with, especially being single
Also I think we need to stop judging. When we open up and accept people with kindness, it becomes easy to accept yourself too.
It’s when we are continuously judging others, we judged ourselves too.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” 👏🏻👏🏻 So helpful!
There is a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that reminds me of this, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”
beautiful quote
I was always very self conscious in social interactions/conversations until I heard this great advice from Jordan Peterson: "try making the person you are talking to feel as appreciated and interesting as you can." this really helped me focus on the things going on outside of my mind instead of hyperfocusing on my own shortcomings in speech and general social skills.
thanks for sharing this!! that is really helpful, practical advice
I needed to hear this! I grew up with parents who were very judgmental of the appearances of people around them, and it gave me the idea that everyone else around me must be picking me apart, too. Self esteem and social anxiety have been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember, but I'm definitely making progress. After having two sons, I recently found out that my third is a daughter (yay!!!) and I'm even more committed to breaking the patterns of judgment and gossip I grew up with so that she can grow up free from their crushing effects, and view herself and those around her with the dignity they deserve. ❤
I relate to so much of your comment. I can't remember a time in my childhood where I did not feel extremely insecure or overly sensitive toward the opinions of others. It's such an encouragement to realize we can break out of destructive patterns and prevent them from passing down to our children! I really admire you for recognizing this about yourself and protecting your children. Such an amazing mama!
Omg yesss so relatable. So happy for you 😊
I grew up in a very similar paradigm! Cheers to growth 🎉
You are not alone! My parents did the same thing and I just sort of always grew up with parents and my sister always commenting on anyone and everyone, usually in a negative light. This comment is life-changing because it is so true how this can play an impact on how we feel! I truly never thought of it that way until this comment and video, amazing!!!
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6
A LOT of your message here echoes the values in Allie Beth Stuckey’s book “You Are Not Enough (and That’s Ok)”. She talks about how self-obsession and me-centered thinking makes us worship ourselves and the foolishness of the “goddess” mentality. I recommend it to any young woman!
As a 19 year old girl who is heavily struggling with insecurity right now….. thank you for this video! I really needed it.
“Think about yourself less” - great advice
Such great timing! As a 25-year old I'm striving to get my life back on track after years of anxiety and insecurity. Thank you so much for the advice and lots of love from the Netherlands☺
I am sending you so much love my dear! These patterns are extremely difficult to break out of, and I hope you know that I am so proud of you for taking the steps to do this for yourself. It's so worth it
Girl same! Love from Utrecht :)
@@Joy-jo4cy ik woon ook in Utrecht! kleine wereld :) liefs
Read king James bible God word in English start with Pslam it'll help build u up help get head right.
@@FM-ko5xw ooh niett hahah! Grappig :). Love terug😌💖
This was so key in helping with my social anxiety. The best advice I ever got was to stop taking things personally-people are busy, they have their own problems, they're not hyper focusing on little things you do and being upset with you (not everything is about you). And it absolutely came from me, as a child, doing everything in my power to adjust and accommodate my parents' feelings and moods (me me me, what did I do? How can I fix this?) which is AWFUL and totally not how most adult people need to function in the world. Decentralizing myself has made me be able to actually look and see people I've known for years in ways I haven't before which was baffling but not surprising in hindsight!
I needed to hear this. I didn’t struggle with this until my mid 20’s and it stemmed from a toxic work environment…but it’s something I definitely need to work on. Especially as a Mom, so I can show my kids how to be confident in a healthy way
This couldn't have came at a better time, I just had a mental breakdown to my husband yesterday about my insecurity. I'm 3 weeks pp with my second baby and feeling at an all time low. Thank you!!
Same, had my second baby a few months ago and have been feeling down about myself. We're in this together! 💕
oof! That is a REALLY sensitive time. do not be hard on yourself!! Be very very gentle, take lots of time to relax, and don't focus on the mirror or anything like that. You have all the time in the world to heal, and it doesn't have to happen instantly! Sending you so much love my dear. I hope you can get rest and enjoy this time
🙏🏻
Hey girl! I'm also 3 weeks pp. I'm with you, understand fully, and I'm praying for you!
Yo ladies are pretty and beautiful and know that so cool that u can have baby do wat Father said be fruitful and multiply. Read the Pslam it'll help u.
I’m really glad this video provides a different kind of perspective. I remember when I was a teen my mom told me “all your insecurities will go away by the time your 25.” And it’s like here I am at 27 just as insecure if not more haha. My boyfriend tells me the same thing about the whole “not everyone is out to get you.” Thing haha
I am 25, married, with a baby, and I still needed this. Being self conscious, averse to relationships, and overanalyzing my every move and word has governed me since adolescence. Thank you for making this video.
Remember, you can always talk to Jesus about your insecurities. 💕 Then you can learn to love yourself and take care of yourself to improve at the same time.
Gratitude has helped me tremendously, I worked through many issues with myself through gratitude. Also one tip from me to all you out there is also to keep a busy schedule with things you care about. When I saw how much I accomplished in one day already by just focusing on the task at hand I felt proud by the end of the year of what I had done and felt like a good person. Beautifying from the inside first will make you like yourself more , such as focusing on helping other people, animals and the environment and serve others and this earth. 💓
Edit: oh! you also said about being busy later in the video 😀
Great video! I’m a 28 year old guy and I for the first time in my life started to suffer from this a few years ago. Idle hands are the devils playground. I don’t know how I came across this video but I’m glad I did.
I am so late to the party here but Caitlin, thank you so much for a lovely video. I am in the uk. Older than you by far lol 48 have had six kids and have autism. You have just managed in a short video to vocalise what I am trying to explain to my 21 year old who struggles with this. I also did struggle with it but as Jehovah’s Witness have maybe a more balanced view than my adult child and certainly more gratitude for what god gave us. Have been struggling for five years to explain to her her own behaviour . Thank you so much. I love your content. It really resonates with me as well as It can be difficult in this strange system to be confidently feminine when the system is always fighting you. Please carry on. Your presentation is always great and so listenable. Thank you. Admiration from the uk x
This is really complicated because I feel I am trying to "work on myself" ALL THE TIME. I'm so tired. I don't know why I can just snap out of it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. The more I learn, the more my insecurities get worse and worse.
I recently read this scripture and it truly resonated with me and blessed my perspective on myself ☺️ “The compelling need to be more than what you are capable of ever becoming is the driving motivation behind perfectionism. It stems from deep insecurity, a gnawing fear that being the woman God made you to be is somehow not good enough” x
❤❤❤❤
Honestly, when I saw this I was shocked that you ever felt self conscious and insecure because you have always seemed so beautiful and perfect. I have been feeling that way very much lately though. Perfect timing for this video. My most recent video is also an encouraging and inspiring one though.
you're so so sweet! But yes! Perhaps some of my reaching for total elegance and improvement has been an extension of my insecurities, but I'm grateful to relate with all of you on this topic. I'm glad you're making encouraging videos for ladies too! We need it on YT!
@@MrsMidwest Come check it out! Also, that thought makes sense.
This is the most useful video I´ve seen on this topic. I get so tired of ruminating about me, myself and I, that I forget about the world and the good things about it (and me!). Thanks❤
Yes! I used to try to follow the advice to be confident by thinking good thoughts about myself but all it did was lead to more self-obsession 😅 I’m glad you found this advice helpful 😊
You're a very good person. Thank you for helping me grow and becoming a better person to myself AND others. 💜🌷
You all help me to do that as well. What a blessing to be here on UA-cam with lovely people like you my dear! 🎉❤
Spot on. I’ve struggled with this my entire life and I’m in my 40’s. Praying to overcome it as it has tremendously impacted my life. 😢
Every sentence has so much wisdom and you know it’s from the lessons you learned & you didn’t settle or give up..Much needed at this time during my 2nd pregnancy. Thank you Caitlyn ❤
I don't want to make you self conscious about it, but the way you say 'blah blah blah' in your videos is soooo adorable!
hahaha thank you! No worries, I appreciate feedback on my speech from these videos. And yes I kind of wish I saw a video like this way back in my tween years too LOL. I can feel shy too and it's sometimes a stretch to break out of that. Just the other day I found myself skipping a grocery aisle because someone I knew was shopping it, and I had to fight the anxiety to go back and be social and friendly LOL. We all struggle!
@@MrsMidwest It’s so endearing and makes me giggle 😄 Aww bless you… I still sometimes do things like that too! Oh you should definitely visit Bath if ever you get the chance 🛁 it’s brimming with Jane Austen vibes, beautiful Georgian/Roman architecture, and a delightful ‘tea and cake’ culture; I feel very lucky to be here and I know you’d adore it! Thanks for replying, it’s made my day 😇
Wooooo this was always a huge struggle for me since I can remember, which just piled on way more as a mom! Growing up in a situation where I had to not make any waves in order to stay safe, I grew up with no individuality and only knew how to read others to see how I needed to act and who I needed to be in that season to protect myself. It’s made my whole reality of myself and the world around me warped. Fighting to overcome this!
I completely understand the feeling of having a warped view of reality and those around you. It truly has been such a relief to have my husband as my best friend because he is the LEAST insecure person I've ever encountered, and he's taught me his way of life LOL. Proud of you for fighting to overcome it. It's amazing how much we can grow if we just put our hearts and minds into the inner work. xoxo
First comment ♡ I wish more ladies spoke about this thank you :)
This was by far my favorite advice video. Absolutely superb how you so accurately describe what tons of people go through. Thank you Caitlyn !
You are the best youtuber I’ve ever listened to. I can listen to you talk for hours and hours and I wouldn’t be bored. Love you sister ❤
Did you ever go to any type of counseling to get to the place you are now - secure, confident, loving etc! You embody Galatians 5:22-23 🕊️🌷💛
Yes indeed. I can relate to being critical and self conscious, and being overly critical of other people that often I barely even know and made up my mind about. I love the scripture that talks about adding to our faith virtue, and virtue knowledge, and knowledge perseverance, and perseverance self-control, to self control brotherly-kindness, and brotherly kindness love.
That puts it back in perspective that I should be allowing Yah to work on my heart and grow in these godly qualities. Taking every thought captive. Holding it up to His word. Bless all you gals who are on this journey too. ❤
These are some of the wisest words I’ve heard in the self development/femininity UA-cam sphere!
You and I have very different lives, but your videos are like my comfort food content that I like to watch while cleaning my apartment ❤ also, it would be amazing if you made a video of home-making tips for beginners. Kind of like your beauty checklist one (where you divide beauty into hair, skin, and beauty details) but for housekeeping/home-making instead of beauty ❤
Started my dream job a month ago. I spent all my time stressing about what people must be thinking of me and judging about me. Imposter syndrome and insecurities has felt like it's run my entire life! I know it stems from my inner child, I had learning disabilities, special teachers, and was in ESL until Grade 3. I always felt dumb and like I stood out like a sore thumb.
This is a much needed message for me, so thank you Mrs. Midwest. I'm learning that I'm not so special ha! (ME ME ME, really resonated) Everyone is struggling with something inside, even the most perfect seeming people. Who cares if I have flaws? I'm a human and this message today is reminding me that I need to accept myself and put my energy into serving others. :)
You have no idea how much I needed this. Got a huge rush of insecurity the last few weeks after having my third baby. Way more than I have after my last two births. I realize I’m focusing too much on myself.
This couldn’t have come at a better time as I’m going to a social gather this evening and I’m always so self conscious when I’m around new people. I’m so afraid people don’t like me and will make fun of me when I leave.
Also, I so feel the part about how if you don’t feel productive and achieved then that contributes. I definitely feel this way and need to work on it.
This is a really insightful comment Heather! Thank you for sharing with us :) It's a fine balance between hanging our worth on productivity while also realizing that we need to feel good about the work we do here on earth! I relate to that so much.
And I totally understand the fears that people will speak negatively after you leave a social interaction. Especially when you've had that actually happen before! I've found that training myself to live and let live has been really helpful, like telling myself after I leave: I cannot control what happens in my absence, so I am choosing to release it from my mind and heart. It helps too to make sure you are surrounded by genuine people who you trust-- people you KNOW will not speak poorly of you for no reason. xoxo
Wow! I can totally relate to this and I'm still struggling with self-consciousness and insecurity. I'm currently in therapy and I've found that to be somewhat helpful but I feel like the way you articulated the points and how to apply it makes so much sense to me. Especially as a Christian, I feel like I needed to hear it like this. Thank you so much for thinking about and making this video!
Absolutely! It's wonderful that you are applying therapy to your life as well. I didn't touch on therapy, but I really think that the right therapist can do wonders for getting us to break out of these harmful mindsets. I had a therapist in university who supported me through breaking away from harsh and soul-sucking relationships, and I'll never forget her for how she helped me
Thank you so much for this reminder! I love the point on focusing on gratitude because I know in my life I have so much to be grateful for! I grew up with a wonderful but also very critical family, which is honestly sad because so many of those critical people not only are critical of others but also themselves and don’t see the good in life or in them. I like to remind myself that Jesus valued me enough to endure and overcome Calvary not because I am flawless or perfect, but because He loved me enough to see someone worth saving. And for that I’m very grateful! Thank you for your sweet demeanor and willingness to be open with others to help them. 💕🌸
Thank you! I feel like the last point you made is missed a lot in the self conscious realm.
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ACTION is so important. You can't fool yourself into thinking you're fine the way you are when what you are isn't where or what you want to be. Go to the gym, take a dance class, volunteer, or...like you said: just match the loose socks. Start small and work your way up :)
Always love your videos Caitlin! ❤
This video couldn't have come at a better time 💝
you look so beautiful! we would appreciate an updated makeup routine!
I saw this channel for the first time today via a Reddit post. And everything you shared is absolutely on point and really comforting. I needed this so much. Thanks!
I love this video so much! I completely agree with how taking the focus off ourselves make us feel so much more confident. You truly are like a big sister. Instead of feeling insecure, I feel so inspired to continue growing and becoming my best self. 💓
I used to be so self conscious about the acne that covered my face and just being inadequate in general. I eventually got so tired of how terrible and insecure I felt that I just.... stopped...
I stopped focusing on myself and that inadvertently caused me to lose those feelings of insecurity. I still get them from time to time but I shift my focus away from myself and I'm fine. I never was able to figure out why it worked but after watching this video, it makes sense to me
Such great nuggets of wisdom and I also needed to hear this today 👍Thank you so much for this!! Keep shining and being you ☺️ God bless you ❤
Thank you for such an honest video. It’s rare to hear such honest advice! Thank you I definitely needed to hear this!
Your advice is really helpful for me as a teenager, I aspire to be like you one day and have my own thriving family. Best wishes from Spain!
I really like the fact your brought up the idea that having these negative thought patterns for years, it's what has been comfortable and what one resorts to and that planting those new patterns of gratitude takes effort and time😭 It can feel so disappointing when you think you're doing better for a while and then fall back into the cycles but taking this perspective into account is really helpful and makes a lot of sense, thank you!!
Yes! 🎉
You are a very wise woman and I am so grateful I found your channel. This is really helpful and inspiring me to change as opposed to be wallowing in relentless complaints. God bless you and your family❤
I've struggled with this for such a long time and I've prayed for God to help me overcome it. I've definitely seen improvement but after being this way for nearly 20 years, I know just 2 years of change will seem small.
This advice makes me think of Ephesians 5:4. We replace the filthiness of self-loathing with thanksgiving!
I needed this video today. Thank you Mrs Midwest, it is so inspiring to know there are other feminine ladies out there with similar values to mine who struggle with the same things I do. May God bless you and your family ❤
Yes absolutely! So many women struggle with these issues: we are not alone! Praise God for sisters in Christ to lean on.
@@MrsMidwest love you dear sister💖
@@MrsMidwest I don't know who copied who bur Cinthya L and you are so similiar lol
I loved this video and the practical advice! Some of the advice I see online suggest the opposite of insecurity such as not giving a f*** about what others think and just doing you, which just turns us into narcissists. The opposite of insecurity is not pride but rather the source, the antidote is humility! Having hobbies, getting outside (physically and mentally), creating a healthy social group, and developing structure does wonders!
Yes I found that fixating on "I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK" kind of made me obsessed with what people thought 😆 😂 it's a vicious cycle. I appreciate your thoughts on this!
Thank you so much for all the work you put into your videos and content, Caitlin! I've followed your channel for several years, but now is really when I've been digging into your feminity and self-improvement content to heal from some bad habits I developed in college (giving up all hobbies, becoming overly stressed leading to an eating disorder, and losing interest in so many life-giving things, and all that jazz)
As a newly minted wife, I've fallen in love with your earlier content all over again, and I'm loving your recent videos as well. Please keep doing what you're doing; it is appreciated and valued. Love to you and your sweet fam!
i really need this tbh, im too self criticising, and doubting ppl really liked me 😢 thank you ❤
Wow I love seeing your videos, it's so nice to have you back and post more often. Looking forward to watch the video when I finish work. God bless
This makes me feel very inspired Lucija, thank you! ❤
I'm so happy you exist. Nuff said 💓
Thank you for sharing your heart ❤️ with us. It's so helpful and comforting to know that others have struggles with this kind if thing; and to get some beautiful tips on how to manage and move forward during the tougher times. I love your content and always appreciate your genuine spirit. God bless you and your family. 😊
Happy belated birthday Caitlin! Been enjoying your videos for about 3 years now. 🤗Sending love from Windhoek, Namibia. 🇳🇦
Self conciousness often leads to people becoming narcissists. I know it sounds contradictory, but narcissism isn't just "everyone loves me, look at me!". It can also be "everyone hates me, look at me!". In both situations, we are led to believe that we're different, important, special even. I too was one of these "victim narcissists" in high school. My life improved so much once I stopped throwing myself pity parties and self-victimizing. The victim mentality is truly so unattractive and repels all sorts of human connections. At the end of the day, I realized that I'm really not that important and should stop treating myself as such.
Thanks for making this video! My dad can be an over critical person sometimes and actually rather than making me feel insecure or self conscious, it just makes me mad because I'm in my late thirties and just don't care what other people think anymore. I think if I feel self conscious about anything it's that I'm single in my late thirties and haven't been asked out in a long time. I was scared of people when I was a kid, but by the time I got to middle school, my class had this attitude of who cares what people think. That way of thinking helped in a huge way because when I was worried about being bullied due to what people thought, I was afraid to voice my opinions. Sometimes I do feel self conscious about my face, but I try to just get on with my day and stay busy with work, going on a bike ride or do some writing or some other creative project.
This couldn’t come at a better time! Thank you so much! ❤❤
You are absolutely right, thank you for saying it!
Immediately sent this to my sisters who are 18 and 20 💖
thank u! i was hoping you’d upload something soon and this popped up on my feed. it’s always nice to have your beautiful energy around❤
I benefit so much from these videos Caitlin! And my friends can see the positive change! I’ve also started sharing your videos with them, and I can see the positive change in them! Thank you for bringing such wholesome goodness to our lives - you’re beautiful, inside and out 🤍🙂🌷 Blessings x
"No matter your walk of life" ❤ I also think we become more self confident with age, being 32 I am just more stable in myself, you know you can depend on yourself. You just don't give a f... ^^ Thank you for this video!
I always see people saying be confident because no one is actually judging you or paying attention but it’s not true. My sister is extremely pretty and whenever we go out she gets lots of looks including jealousy and rude comments from other girls and women. It has actually made me self conscious seeing how people can be so mean towards pretty people 😂 advice would be appreciated x
Yes I address this at the end! Create distance from those relationships until you’re strong enough to handle it without it turning your world upside down !
@@MrsMidwest how do you handle it if strangers act this way towards you? 🥲 x
Love this content! Especially as a new mum!! ❤
As someone who overcame her self consciousness I agree with your suggestion because that's what I did too. I stop focusing too much on myself. I stopped thinking, and start doing (focusing on what I was doing or adding things to do to take my mind out of myself)
I love you and love your videos. I struggle a lot with anxiety and childhood issues. I feel like I will never be good enough to have a family and raise kids. But I fight those feelings everyday
It's so nice to hear this from such a beautiful woman.
Exactly what I needed to hear today. I heard something similar at church today & then I found this video!
This is so helpful!!! I notice these patterns with myself too and started doing the opposite, it definitely worked and made me feel better. Your video just confirmed it❤️
I needed this video so bad. I have stretch marks all over my body which is my biggest insecurity. It really holds me back from living my life
Vitamin C helps your body produce collagen/skin elasticity. The collagen supplements don't really help with this. Idk if this might help but Vitamin C is what helps skin!
09:35 I would like to add on this point: even if someone is actually for real is after me, this doesn't mean that I should just let them do, or that it's ok to for them to beat me...
I realized that in myself few months ago, that I expect people to beat me and I acted as if it's ok for them to do so, when I realized how I felt at that moment I was so blown out and thought: but why did I feel like it's fine to let them beat me??? I'm not like that I can defend myself..and this thought reduced my anxiety tonss
This is the only good advice that I’ve ever heard about what to do for this. 💕
In hs I thought I was pretty set in life, my parents and older siblings all struggled with self consciousness and isolation however I was different they’d always tell me growing up how happy they were about it. However my last year of hs I just cut off from the world. I had a surgery and needed a few months of bed rest and I decided not to go back to finish school. That was the start of my downward spiral. I got used to being home being alone, didn’t feel like going out with my hs friends bc I didn’t graduate. I now am 26 married and still struggle so much with these feelings of insecurities looking down on my self, just overthinking about my next steps in life. Thank you for the encouragement!
Read Pslam. Theyll help u out. And if u want wisdom read proverbs.
Don't worry wat people say. Just worry about wat God our Father thinks of us that all matter.
This video came up at just the right time 😅 Thank you SO much for your advice! My self consciousness would cause me to basically self sabatoge. I grew up in a small town and neighborhood kids and people were especially judgemental and to a unhealthy degree
Self-sabotage, that's the word I was missing! Yes! I would cancel plans or end text conversations prematurely as a self-sabotage method because I was afraid of being vulnerable. I also grew up in a super tight-knit town with a ton of gossip... maybe that has more of an influence on us than we realize 😔
@dennamarie
Wat country are u from. I am from usa live in Midwest Illinois.
U very beautiful.
This is very insightful and wise _Big Internet Sister._
Advice from Mrs. Midwest is the best!!! ❤️ Thanks for sharing your wisdom and encouragement with us! This feminine family really appreciates your lovely online content and your beautiful presence! I hope you are having an amazing Spring! ✨ Be blessed! 🤗
This was so needed and very much appreciated! Would love a deep dive into how to reset friendships!
Been really struggling with this for the last few weeks. Thanks for sharing! :)
Omg, I been already trying to implement this and didn’t even notice! This gives me the motivation to continue ❤
I needed this more then you know today.
cute cardigan, and I like your new fire, speaking up!
You are truly awesome!!!
Lots of love 💖💖💖💖💖
Great advice Cait…I needed it! 💕
I love this video!!! It was so good to hear. I have identified an overly critical person in my life. I also just assume people are saying such and such about me. This video has helped and given me the confidence to help me get over my self-consciousness. I appreciate your heart-to-heart talk! You did a great job!!! Please make more videos like this!! 😀👐
God made you so beautiful Cait, inside and out! ❤❤ love the encouragement, thank you and yes, you are a goddess! 😄
This video came at the right time.
I am grateful for Mrs. Midwest! :)
Your nails look absolutely beautiful and lovely. Perhaps you can one day do a video on handcare and natural nail. Love your channel, think you were one of the first channels I've ever watched
Oh how I needed this! Thank you so much!
Wow! This is such a great video! You could feel it came right from your heart, and it definitely reached mine. Thank you so much
Thank you so much for this video! I've really been struggling with this lately. ❤❤
I think a lot of us do! You are not alone
I love this relaxed format!
Just the video I needed!! I love your video's so much, you really do feel like my older internet sister 💕
Hi Caitlin! Can you make a video about how to make friends as an adult woman? I find it so card to find other ladies I connect with, especially being single
This video’s incredibly helpful! Thank you❤!!!!!