Why is the VICTIM Mindset So Attractive? - Baggage Claim
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2024
- This video tells the story of Ava, a young, professional women who is struggling to find herself in the chaos of the modern world. In the midst of a mental breakdown, she is greeted by two reflections in the mirror. One reflection tells her the cold harsh truth about what she should be doing to get her life together. The 2nd reflection comforts her and tells her that nothing is her fault. Ava decides to repeatedly listen to the 2nd reflection, which sends her down a path of resentment. In the end she has no one to blame but herself.
This wonderful story was written and narrated by Baggage Claim. Baggage Claim is a youtube channel that aims to unpack the nonsense of modern culture and addresses the epidemic of narcissism and victim-based thinking that is taking over our society. To learn more, visit the Baggage Claim youtube channel / baggageclaim
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It was such a pleasure to collaborate with you on this! Thank you!
Why don't you mention that some people DO HAVE parents that don't care and use them like vampires? And that they need to learn how to pick themselves up AND GET AWAY from the abuser???
@@iuploadulike😂 you sound like the person in the video
Great video
@@iuploadulike Because that's not the topic. Its about the psychological attractiveness of always playing the victim and not about abusive parents
Great video and a nice way to explain the mechanism by telling that Story
If it smells like crap, walk away. If everywhere smells like crap, check your shoe.
Well said 👏
Wrote that down.
Beautiful 👏
😂love this!
If someone is a jerk, then they are a jerk. If everyone is a jerk, it's you that's the problem.
I love the irony of “why should I change” while demanding everyone else change 🤷🏼♀️
Change for the benefit of the one that demands change. Kinda reminds like that part of reddit where everyone just relishes the beauties of their own echo chamber and you will be the dummy if you as much try to break their bubble. I got banned just for asking controversial questions and was labeled as a right wing propaganda when I am literally the opposite of right wing lmao
I have this theory that people say the thing they need to hear the most because their mouth is the closest one to their ear. So they yell "change" in hopes they can hear it...
There is no irony. Changing the inside instantly changes the outside…
If someone is being physically or emotionally abused, and they want their abuser to change, so that they can have a less miserable life, is that their fault for having trauma that prevents them from operating in a way that would provide a net positive? Just curious how your brain works here. No sympathy for victims? Fuck those that are in a state of weakness? Kick em while their down?
@@zackerypeterson5811 if that someone is you, you need to get out of that relationship instead of asking you abuser to hit more softly
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
- Leo Tolstoy
A person with good intentions looks to change the world. A person with good character looks within.
Sadly a lot of things are actually others faults. Like when you hear people writing laws that are stupid, and then have judges who try and follow those laws and jail innocent people and let criminals go. Because the law labels them the opposite. And that makes it easy to feel like "They need to change. I would love to walk around and protest, because I am not qualified to hold the jobs of judges or law makers.".
But there is also always a good time to change yourself. Because that is something you can control, while everyone else being wrong is hard to change, even with protests.
Tolstoy talked about improving himself but only got worse due to his efforts.
read his biography.
he was a noxious and complete HYPOCRITE
The post above me is upset they are a loser.
What they said was true, what they did was a reminder that they should be honest.
And here we have you, the vigilant warrior ready to dismiss thier own important missions intent on shaming others.
Well done.
@@usarmyveteran177At least you could have given credit to whom said this quote.
If you can play the victim, you can justify aggression.
False idea of justice can justify anything, even a genocide. That's why it's so dangerous.
And it’s one of the main features of Marxism.
well said doctor
Everyone can justify aggression in their minds.
And justify anything and everything else too, especially irresponsibility.
Good for Eva! The next step, getting those talking mirrors exorcised.
Or get her meds increased.
@@gwenstefanirockx or someone who truly loves her exchange all of their credibility in telling her how it is. If she leaves and has no friends, she will one day be alone wondering why and maybe correct herself or maybe not and she rescues too many cats 😂
My God dude you're pathetic 😂 everyone's not out to get you 😂
@@gwenstefanirockx or inform her the information that removes scitzo from peaople.....
My parents taught me that no one owes you anything. Only we are responsible for our decisions and actions, and we must face the consequences of those choices/actions, good or bad.
You fail to understand the Shadow Banking/Military/Industrial/Drug Cartel.
@@carefulcarpenter Just because one's environment is bad (I was born in a 3rd-world country where corruption is normal), that does not excuse one from being accountable for their choices and actions. Is it fair? No. But, life isn't fair, and we have to strive to do the best we can.
I respect and admire people who have gone through hardships and fought through injustices to get to a better place in life. That is also why I can't excuse people who blame others for their own decisions and actions in life.
@@phoebea You could research "Big lies of psychiatry". It will reveal an aspect to this dark force working against wisdom.
One of my posts was censored.
@@carefulcarpenter In this comment? I don't censor people. I believe in free speech and diversity of opinions.
"Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!”
(Rocky Balboa)
the problem is with this personality style that gets into the victim mindset, is that they don't know their worth or can even think of themselves as worthless. Leading to more patterns of them being a victim to more predatory style of personalities. This video does a good job at displaying some of the trappings of the victim mindset but it missed so much.
@nuaveschannel I believe they used this particular personality type because there's a larger amount out there. My personality type is INTJ....they key is understanding at what point do we break down and fall into negative or self destructive patterns. Then how do we handle them. Certain factors need to ne looked at like health, financial hardship or anything that can magnify the situation. That takes accountability and understanding of WHY you're at that particular place in time. It can seem very dark but all you need is a little light to help people find their way out. Life has it's ups and downs but after every major storm comes blue skies and opportunity. Have a great 2024🤙
I read this quote that hit home. Some people suffer more than necessary and some suffer before it's necessary...in the end life will do it's thing and in the end it was necessary it make you into the best version of yourself. Tell the lord I'm doing right on my darkest night🙏
@@o-townminideals3104 thank you for the nice reply but if they did this directed to intjs they did a very poor job at it. INTJs are one of the most introverted personalities if not the most introverted. They lead by Ni meaning they are more perceivers of the world rather then acting on it. Meaning it is very easy for an INTJ to get into a victim mindset as the world is always acting on them.
Also INTJs are known for being very disagreeable and having no problem making enemies. In socionics they are often regarded as the type of intellectual that says no to ideas rather then yes. Rather then an ENTP type who shotguns ideas, the intj is more of the nullifier of ideas. Making them again easy to get into a victim mindset. Last they are one of the most sensitive types depending on their variation. You look like an enneagram 1 style, you tend to be more durable. The enneagram 5 style can be too sensitive which can get them in a victim mindset. I am not a fan of this video that was posted.
BTW in Socionics I am an LIE a close brother to the ili (which would be the intj in mbti). In mbti funny enough I test as an ENTP but in socionics I am LIE most likely...though sometimes I wonder if I ili(intj)
@@o-townminideals3104 your comment did remind me that I need to get back to taking care of my physical body. I have beating it up way too much lately.
A true friend tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
Cried near the end. It’s amazing how easy it is to keep yourself the victim.
There is a difference between being known as a victim and actually being the victim. And I can assure you the latter doesn't feel great.
@@HolyShitThatSucksMan420 This video was made for a specific type of person, like those needing reinforcement for being horrible, like my dad & his twisted family. As saying "it's your fault for being there" is not what a parent should say when they find out you just had your back broken by a habitual drunk driver in his attempted hit & run...
Another way of putting it assumes that all the people with their signs are just like Prius Bitch who would get in your face for not driving a Prius. I first encountered her while I was loading groceries in my car and she parked next to me and started slamming the door of her Prius into my car. Then she claimed the steam coming out of the exhaust was "deadly pollution", and that I "was killing the planet". The reason for the steam as that happens in the Pacific Northwest if you don't drive much. [I tend to buy about 12 gallons of gas a month...]
Unfortunately, this video is likely to reinforce what abusive people say to the people they damage, like my dad...
@HolyShitThatSucksMan420 If you're the victim, it's important to look inward and change yourself so next time, you don't become a victim over continuously calling yourself a victim.
@@steebee100xtras4 You're actually retarded.
@@steebee100xtras4 Excuse me, what I meant was "You're worldview is childishly narrow if this is your immediate thought when reading the comment you replied to."
That was deep, powerful and uncomfortable. As truth often is
yep. got me tearing up when she reached thru the mirror to herself at the end. feels like where im at rn.
I found it shallow, pretentious & mostly incoherent.
@@voxdraconis6970I felt that way when I was watching it, but I let my uncomfortable feeling percolate and I ended up feeling differently.
Or this channel is pushing a pro-capitalist and pro-modern slavery agenda. "Must Obey ." Listen with an open mind but at the end of the day think for yourself and follow your heart.
@@voxdraconis6970Yes! Thank you! Seems like this channel is starting to push a pro-capitalist agenda. They are in favor of modern-day slavery. "Must Obey." I'm unsubscribing.
I've been this person. For most of my 20s. I blamed everyone else for my shortcomings. Only learned to be better by the time I was 30.
I a glad you broke out of the mindset. It's extremely difficult. Nothing good is easy
vote red
There are so many chapters in a persons life sometimes growing up fully and really understand yourself may never happen, even when you think it has you can lose it. Atb.
@mahimomo you have plenty of time and eventually skills and a story that can help others
I feel like this is one of many reasons the 20s are so hard. You're working through so much. If you don't change habits, they get harder to break after 20s (what a therapist told me).
It's amazing how self-limiting this mindset is. It makes it feel impossible to take any action or make any changes to better your own life. And even when something is truly not your fault, it doesn't mean you can't take responsibility for what you do with that circumstance. That's how to take back your power.
You don't seem to understand that there are "self-limiting mindsets" and then there are people who have been shit on. It doesn't even consider the effect on the later & how it might encourage their abusers. In my case, I realize that a lot of people hate on those of us who are disabled. And a lot of people hate on Native Americans, and they consider Halfbreeds like myself even worse. Sure, I was "too aggressive looking" for one position, "too disabled" for another, and often called a "Heroin Junkie" for those requiring a drug test despite having given the employer a copy of my current "Morphine Prescription"...
This video was made for a specific type of person, like those needing reinforcement for being horrible, like my dad & his twisted family. As saying "it's your fault for being there" is not what a parent should say when they find out you just had your back broken by a habitual drunk driver in his attempted hit & run...
Another way of putting it assumes that all the people with their signs are just like Prius Bitch who would get in your face for not driving a Prius. I first encountered her while I was loading groceries in my car and she parked next to me and started slamming the door of her Prius into my car. Then she claimed the steam coming out of the exhaust was "deadly pollution", and that I "was killing the planet". The reason for the steam as that happens in the Pacific Northwest if you don't drive much. [I tend to buy about 12 gallons of gas a month...]
Unfortunately, this video is likely to reinforce what abusive people say to the people they damage, like my dad...
There is a whole generation along with entire groups of people who need to watch and listen to this video. They are the ones who constantly play the victim in order to avoid responsibility and get what they want.
Not true lol
liberals and blacks. the end.
liberals and blacks. you are clearly not paying attention.@@GreyerSkiez
@@GreyerSkiez100% true lol
I agree wholeheartedly with the underlying message of the video, but I have to question the portrayal of protesters 😅
Harry Browne was a Libertarian candidate for president in 1996 and 2000. Here is one of his quotes: "A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything." People don't realize that when you blame other people and circumstances for your situation, not only are you not taking responsibility for your life, but you give your power away, too.
I feel like theres a middle ground.
People need to take responsibility for their own actions and strive to always do better,
but we can recognize that there are people in the world who actively make life worse for others.
Stuff like poisoning water supplies because its cheaper than disposing of their waste properly
Was looking for a comment like this... There are reasons why people protest that have nothing to do with individual victimhood mentality, and everything to do with corrupt systems of oppression. I like that you brought up the middle ground because the character in the video was playing a victim and not taking accountability for the pain she was causing to herself and others. I just thought the protest thing was weird because it almost implies that people who seek community with activists are irresponsible victims and those who stick to conventional corporate jobs and obey their parents are somehow better and happier? But that's not always the case and often quite the opposite. That got a little lost on me.
Anyway just agreeing, that there's definitely a middle ground between taking personal responsibility and civil responsibility.
@@Adulting.in.my.30s100% I thought the whole protest aspect felt like someone projecting their own experience and growth cannot happen without some pain and struggle, seems part of a personal journey to me. I did not like this After Skool episode it seemed propagandist to myself and family. Victim mentality is usually rooted much deeper and is more learned behaviour with its own rewards otherwise people would not do it.
👏
Yes! Thank you! Seems like this channel is starting to push a pro-capitalist agenda. They are in favor of modern-day slavery. "Must Obey." I'm unsubscribing.
Looks like she was generally protesting about change. Wouldn't think too deeply about that.
The point was that she was hypocritical in trying to fix the world in order to fix herself, and so she was protesting for the wrong reasons.
If you make the story too complex then the idea of taking responsibility is lost to entropy.
When I was younger, I saw myself as a victim, even though I have relatively comfortable life. Then I found myself at my lowest and then stood up and gained confidence. My life was better then and now.
This video is exactly what I needed to hear today. I’ve taken on 18 credits of college classes which is most certainly overtime, and I keep blaming my professors and other people for pressuring me to take 18 credits when I’m the one who gave in. I need to keep this video in my mind forever…
I suggest writing down reminders or putting up a saying on your wall that will help to remind you. Because with time we all forget.
This is a needed counterpoint, yet I felt this advocated the absolute toleration of abuse, the rejection of self-compassion, and unquestionable conformity.
You're right, people tolerated her abuse would have to reject their self compassion to interact with her while she demanded unquestionable conformity. Good points!¡!
@@jelkel25you’re the one demanding unquestionable conformity!. You’re arguing that it’s abusive for someone to claim they have legitimate complaints against society. We all just need to shut up and put up with it according to you. Have you ever read a history textbook?
I guess that's a good point. At least for requiring unquestioning conformity. It would probably depend on the situation. This video is good for people who treat themselves like a victim no matter what the situation, and no matter how abusive they are to others.
Absolutely, a conservative/authoritarian/colonial position to victim blame also.
that was put in such a delicate way. I hope it reaches into the hearts of those who are totally consumed by victimhood. I was once like that. the only thing that got me out of it was an older stronger woman telling me to get up off the floor and stop being pitiful 😅
I mean, there’s a fine line to work here. Some things you really can’t change or other people make their own decisions that are not in your interest. The problem begins when you literally blame everyone else and don’t ever reflect on yourself.
But there‘s a reason why the „you are good as you are“-trope exists. Because in former times you had to conform to maybe what your father, family or husband (!!) wanted for you.
I feel we‘re leaning towards the other extreme now where „you only have to work harder and grind harder“ to improve yourself because EVERYTHING is your fault now. I‘m all for taking responsibility for your own actions, no doubt about that. It’s also in your power how you react to your circumstances at any given time.
I think the whole matter is not black&white. It’s complicated.
This story seems like a metaphor for the death of ego.
Umm...no. It seems like they are pushing a pro-capitalist agenda. I'm unsubscribing.
It's a cautionary tale to not be seduced by the victim mentality of "not my fault!" and "Everyone else needs to change because we're correct! (because we say we're correct, despite all that we support hurting people.)"
This story would make an amazong indie horror. The victim mentality is horrifying in itself.
I have encountered people claiming that I had a victim mentality and worse. But with age I realize that I was experiencing the victim bashing mentality:
You wouldn't believe how many times I have encountered people with a disturbing racist world view. My favorite was how many times while seeking an accommodating position from agencies that were supposed to do that and heard "Admit it you broke you back while driving drunk and or high on drugs". My back was broken by a habitual drunk driver, none of us had been drinking, I wasn't even driving and he tried to leave all four of us for dead. But being a Halfbreed, I kept encountering twisted racist projection from White people who didn't even consider that I earned a BA after the accident...
@@davidhollenshead4892seems like the video hadn't managed to change you one bit. Still the same. How unfortunate.
I watched Dave chapelle’s special where he explains that the feeling of being right is intoxicating. And it makes the person act just how a drunk person acts when they get “liquid courage”. The truth is that no one is going to know what you’re going through other than yourself and God. Realizing this and accepting it makes it easier for me to move past the feeling of being right and helps me focus on treating others better.
Excellent illustration ❤ I love it! Ego is a misleading guide. Your higher self is honest and true. Beautiful 😍
Ego is merely our protective personality, an indicator to be aware. People become victims when they belittle their own ego, we call this spiritual bypassing. To be aware and embrace this aspect is more freeing than feeling misguided.
A great story. It's a painful growth phase when the selfish child dies within. However, on the other side is liberation.
this was so far the most enlightning video I have watched here on this channel! I struggle with this victim mindset everyday and it often hinders from taking action. Never could really reflect and verbalise this by my own thanks!
Hard truths are the most profound. That was incredible. Thank you.
The irony and danger lie in the fact that it is perceived as brave and stunning, and many encourage it.
Danm . I think I almost teared up up at the end. If only people would come to understand this. I always question whether or not my mindset is in the right place.
😂😂😂 same here
Yep, I teared up at the end.
Why? Because we stepped into the narrative. That's what the left understands that people in the middle and on the right never seem to get. Narratives matter.
A Vector of change that we have control over, that we can really influence, is the vector of Art and writing. We can tell stories that change people.
We must produce good art.
Same teared up, it was so deep and well written. I also agree, we must create and add value as that is a unique power we have
Life is about choices and consequences. Good choice beget positive consequences/outcomes, bad choices beget negative consequences/outcomes. Sometimes the consequences are not our fault, and sometimes we don't get what we deserve good or bad, but this doesn't change the fact that this philosophy is worth believing in and will empower you to be the best you can be.
The problem with that is that your taking it for granted that you can make good choices and a good outcome will be guaranteed. This world is full of bad people who abuse their power. You can do everything right and still have things go bad for you
@@markironside9818 Both these points are true. In general, if you make good choices you will have better outcomes. However, sometimes you will suffer at the hands of those who are only out to cause suffering. This is where this video fails - it tells us we cannot change the world, only ourselves. In truth people have changed the world in many ways and this has generally been for the better.
Sometimes we need to change ourselves and sometimes we need to change the world.
An alternative title suggestion: Narcissism mindset
Edit:
some commenters don’t seem to like me using the word narcissism.
But with the character in the video thinking these about herself:
“Nobody understands you. You’re incredible, wonderful, beautiful. It isn’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself and don’t let others blame you. I see you for what you are - perfect. Don’t let them change you.”
“He doesn’t understand how amazing you are. Besides, you have a higher purpose.”
“The world NEEDS you.”
How is it not clear her antagonism fuelled by grandiosity and attention-seeking? She sees herself as superior, viewing everyone else as inferior and is intolerant of disagreement or questioning 😅
Let’s end with her classic line in this video: “I don’t need to change. Everyone else is the problem, not me.” ✊
More like Covert Narcissism mindset
Or the "Cognition autonomy is dangerous and lacks sufficient parental/government oversight" mindset, haha. ;) Cheers. ❤🔥
liberals use the word narcissism. do better
Nah… try harder!
@@mrnobodyz Victimhood disorder is a kind of narcissism
Strong points about how adopting a victim identity can be a convenient way to avoid making the changes one needs to grow and develop. But it's a one-dimensional viewpoint to conflate protest and organizing for societal changes with abdicating personal responsibility.
Thank you.
If we waited until we were perfect to change glaring injustice in the world, nothing would ever get done.
💯
True but I think the point the video is making is that it's also a bit naïve to assume that the world will bow to your expectations when you yourself are unwilling to bow to anyone else's
@@Tommcginn I'm not sure you understood the point that @Marc-rj8yx was making, yourself.
this feels like right wing propaganda to me
This is truth that people who think like this will refuse to listen to.
So many girls like this lol. And they never take accountability. Sad
I don't believe that to be true, there is hope for everyone unless you have a true personality disorder that prevents you from ever seeing the truth.
100%. a lot of people would see this video & say it’s insensitive or something. sad for them
@@starrynight1329: A personality disorder doesn't prevent one from changing. It just makes it more challenging, which in turn makes it that much more rewarding.
I was like this, currently changing and only 23 years old. But instead of my own reflection, GOD helped me take responsibility. If you take his hand and submit to him then he will guide you through.
This is brilliant. Clean your room before you go out to change the world.
I love this. And I feel like I've learned a big lesson. But I must also admit, I am still somewhat stuck in the middle. I have had a few traumatic events, I'm even diagnosed with BPD and PTSD, and I'm struggling with a drug addiction now. I can see the victim side, where it all happened to me and I justify my life by thinking it's ok, I'm in pain and I can't get out of it. But also, I know that if I don't push myself for a better life it'll never happen. I'm stuck.
I relate an awful lot to what you said here. Wishing you strength and courage... and compassion and forgiveness... all in moderation.
Going for DBT therapy would be your choice. Your trauma wasn’t in your control, but your recovery can be. That’s the point of the video. There’s a lot to change within. Start the journey.
Indeed, we have more power over ourselves than we think we do. The healing journey is demanding. Gabor Mate has been very helpful for me. Also Pete Walker is an ordinary guy who substantially healed his PTSD. Look them up.😊
I have a friend who is approaching 60, seriously debilitated pretty much every addiction except drugs and sex. He is very stuck in victimhood. Dont let yourself become him! Open your self to whatever it is that you truly need and it will come to you.
Remember its so much easier to blame everyone else than take responsibility on improving your own life. Clear message from the video.
Not gonna lie, anyone that tries to play the race or victim card to get what they want with or without intent, I lose so much respect for them period.
That includes education card as well. There are people who believe that a degree alone could have made them millionaire.
But life is so much easier to deal with when You decide that you are the victim and everyone else has the problem. All of a sudden, your life just becomes shittier but You have the peace of mind that it isn't your fault, it is society's fault.
Nobody should play any card.. or even bring it up. However, we shouldn't pretend that certain things are a non factor. Social economics plays a part in America. Race plays a part. So do other things. We shouldn't play cards , but some people do have alternate barriers they have to navigate to be successful.
I don’t like their intentions for using it most times. Not to say race doesn’t always play a factor since it’s so visible and everyone is capable of prejudice and bias in their thinking (whether they are aware or not). Sometimes people will limit you based on your identity and their close-mindedness, but assuming every poor interaction is bc of your race only harms your motivation and locus of control and most humans need some sort of control over their circumstances. The slaves that didn’t give up started revolts. The blk people who didn’t give away their self respect joined the civil rights movement and forced others to see their humanity.
I personally don’t really care about the use of the “race card”, “wokeness” or whatever other term people use to describe certain activists. These movements only came about as a consequence of oppression. What goes around comes around. When you purge people for their sexuality, race and gender for yrs, don’t expect them to play to your tune for your or even their own benefit. They couldn’t care less about your respect bc to them, anyone who they don’t identify with was never capable of giving respect anyways. Not playing the race card should be about not giving up your power for fate.
I do pity them to be honest fr fr
I love this and I don't. There are times where others are genuinely overstepping boundaries, you ARE a victim, and you MUST take action against the oppressor. Other times you are not taking action and ARE the oppressor(of yourself). The truth lies between the polarities shown in this video.
Yes this is good to point out the common dynamic but there are other situations that need a different approach
Bruh. We were all born into this catastrophe of life. We are ALL VICTIMS. If you take it out on anyone else its not cool. You have to find meaning through responsibility to offset the reality of suffering
I was in an abusive relationship for 13 years. I suffered from severe PTSD after. The reason for this is that I felt powerless. Once I realized that my whole life is my fault the ptsd disappeared. It was my fault I stayed. Once I took responsibility for what I did I realized the power I had moving forward.
Right, I got that too it's okay to admit you were a victim and seek assistance but victimhood is no neighborhood to live in forever. Everyone could use some improvement but yeah, this was really close to triggering the victim blaming thing for me. However in context, you really should be doing what you need to at work or find a better job that suits your needs. And I'm about as clear as mud at this point, sorry if this came out all wrong.... Blue Bird out
Right? Like, life IS change.... but sometimes that bitch in the first mirror is freaking toxic. It's important to be kind to yourself, too.
It's very simple. Today, people need to be one of two things - victims or heroes. When someone's a victim, we say "ohhhhh, you're a victim, let me hug you". When someone's a hero, we say "ohhhhh, you're a hero, let me hug you".
Funny, isn't it, how both elicit the exact same response - a warm, soft hug - the hug they were deprived of as children.
Heroes don't get hugs. Charity is extended to them after they die.
Astute. Most people trapped in this mindset have poor childhoods.
Heroes get torn down by the media, no how well they did. The media can't stand someone who is doing good for everyone.
Heroes get hugs?!🤯
The video makes good points, but it is too simplistic. Sometimes things aren’t our fault, sometimes life can get so much on top of us that we can’t fulfil all of our duties, sometimes we need empathy for our situation.
You can’t just blame the world though, even if you have been dealt a difficult hand. You have to accept how things are and build from there. You might not be able to change the world, but you can change how you respond to the world. Acceptance can be a big part of that.
You shouldn’t have to put up with an over demanding and disrespectful boss. You do need to be able to provide for yourself and be responsible, but the implied social contract of living in a civilised society means you should be able to expect certain things too.
You should take some satisfaction out of trying to make positive changes to the world. You need to take into account other people’s points of view though.
Life is complicated.
Exactly, thank you! Both sides in this video were too extreme to be honest. There should be a balance between the two.
Thank you.
I believe they are pushing a pro-capitalist agenda. I'm unsubscribing.
Think the video is designed to help the ones that need the help and not for the ones that say, well that could have been better.
the truth is hard to swallow buddy, no no you are the poor victim u right... 🤣🤣🤣
T H I S
THE ONE VIDEO with the answer I was looking for: That mindset... grinds my gears!
Absolutely genius. This is why I keep coming back. I've read and thought about this topic a lot. Especially over the last few years, as I came from the radical left and now think for myself much more.
I remember, as a burgeoning anti-feminist, finding that the biggest habit of feminism that I was having the hardest time rebelling against was the victim mentality: I was just a victim of feminism now instead of patriarchy and capitalism and so on.
I could see it. But it was - is - so very hard to stop DOING it.
When guys like Jordan say to just start by cleaning your room, I'm pretty sure what BC just explained (so much better than I've ever seen him do) is exactly what he means.
It's fascinating to me that the girl had it backwards. She was ignoring the harsh truth from herself, but trying to share it with others without their consent.
It's not that all activism is bad, it's not at all information-sharing is bad - for this video is an example of both, and clearly demonstrates that informing and preaching to people who are interested is not bad.
It's that we've been raised with the exact wrong attitude about where the radical honesty should primarily flow.
The primary person to be lovingly harsh with, to give the most tough love to and be the most honest with no matter how it affects feelings, is YOURSELF.
With everyone else you have to be diplomatic.
You can't just tell them whatever you want or they may shut you out. But if there's ever anyone that we need to actually listen to besides our own loving, supportive inner voices, it's really only the harsh truth from OURSELVES (the harsh truths about the world are far less important, if for no other reason than they are far less ACTIONABLE).
I've learned to think of that voice inside as simply my conscience, but I suppose it might be more complicated than that.
The way I think of it, it's the voice that tells you what the right thing to do is - the right thing for YOU, not the "correct" thing for some abstract person.
And doing the right thing is the only path to courage and confidence.
But it's not the right thing according to some damn ideology or religion. It's the right thing according to that character we just saw in *you*:
Your truest inner thoughts and FEELINGS about what you actually need to do to make yourself more useful for YOU and genuinely happy, healthy, and fulfilled, independent of the state of the world.
SO that you can then maybe turn around and be more useful to the world in an active (or even activist) capacity just like Baggage Claim just did so brilliantly and compassionately right here.
She was flying her sign for us to see and learn from in a way so radically different from someone who's screaming and chanting their rage from their life failing them...
...while doing nothing else to take any responsibilities for themselves or others in that life.
Someone who's attitude is secretly not "let's build it better" so much as "let's burn it all down".
I struggled with being a victim for a long time. It doesn't help when the events that started it all were out of my control. I was a "victim" to circumstances that happened to me, but it spun me into a spiral of trying to change everyone and everything around me to fit an ideal world that would be safe for me. My mindset was it better for them if they just changed to how I wanted them to be. To a degree, what I was desiring from people wasn't a bad thing, but I believed I needed them to change to make me feel better, more connected, and desired. Inside, what was wrong was I had unresolved hurts from the past that needed attention. It is still a process. I have to convince myself that it is okay to be okay, connect with community again without trying to change people away from who they are or where they are in life, and pursue hard things again rather than wanting sympathy to win people's hearts for me or feeling like I need relational and emotional resolve before embarking on something. Going to counseling has also helped me reorient my perspective. All I can do is control myself, how I choose to respond, my behavior, my thoughts (as much as that may seem impossible), and how I decide to move forward. Everyone has a rough path in their own way, and no one is particularly special in their struggle. We all have to take personal responsibility. Love others. Be loved. And strive to be the best version of yourself.
This needs to be shown in every school in America. Should be a major motion picture
This isn't a new concept. You've heard it many times. The two wolves, the ant and the grasshopper, etc.
Great wisdom was gleaned generations ago and by every culture. The mistake being made is people are being taught to not listen to ancient wisdom because it's ancient instead of listening to it because it is.
It's always been that attractive to people who don't have a strong, moral backbone.
My moral backbone sends me to work every day. But my real backbone says give up go lay down😂
@@mybackhurts7020 are you trying to be funny? Spoiler: it's terrible.
@@angelollanos7451seemed like a lighthearted joke to me bud
@@angelollanos7451 Goddamn someone got triggered by a joke
@@Starcraftkickass It was too attractive for Angelo to resist, I guess.
This type of mindset is speading like wildfire, and there will be no stop for this. I tried so hard not to have this mindset.
Saying things in absolutes makes you sound like a fool.
@@puddlessir Ok, I may be a fool.
dont be soft. get your head out of your ass. nobody owes you shit@@xixexperience5882
well you either adopt it or you ruin your life so
@@puddlessirOnly a Sith deals in absolutes
This was great. I also think it applies regardless of generation. I know there are some who are quick to associate this with younger generations but it exists at every level.
Oh yeah for sure!
It exists at a greater level in the younger generation though. When I was a student you were expected to be able to listen to and debate opposing views, particularly at university. The opposite occurs now - students silence anyone who dares offend their feelings, often with threats of violence.
This video is amazing and honestly on par with “The Slow Poison of Endless Fantasy.” The whole thing can be understood in the context of addiction. I honestly interpret the two mirror personas as God and Satan. Satan will want you to think that you’re an exception deserving of “release” since you’re so special and other can’t see it, while God is calling you down the harder path in order to bring out the best in you. This is a phenomenal video which looks at the deeper parts of the human psyche and is going straight into my favorites.
This ❤❤❤
🙈
God is the positive soul and the good inside of us,while Satan is the ego
@@goldendiamon 😂😂😂
@@mrnobodyz There's nothing to laugh about.You take everything too literally
This is one of the best videos I have seen in a while. Thank you so much for producing this.
I ended up crying. This is not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear. Thank you.
I have realized that my mother has been like the second mirror; she is an incredibly hard-working woman and has only encountered hardships in her life, so she has only wanted an easy and problem-free life for me. My father is the same, so I guess I understand how the kindness of my mother has developed in me, not really knowing how to face problems or overcome any difficulties. I'm not trying to blame my mother, of course, and I know her actions come from a place of love, but it has enabled me to become more entiteled and just adopt this victim mindset. This is something I must work on my own and improve as a person.
Has there ever been a better throne than a victim’s chair? Sitting in it you remain blameless and everyone is at fault.
Replace “victim” with “victor” and it still works. 😂
@@R.P.-hw2rq 🤪 Project much!? 🤷🏻♂️ That’s the best you got after I schooled your foolish bottom!!!! 🤦🏼♂️😂😂🤪🤡🤦🏼♂️🥸🤷🏻♂️😂😂
@@UmadBro88 it doesnt
@@weltschmerz333 It does if u have perspectives.
@@UmadBro88 i feel bad for you
Thank you @BaggageClaim from the bottom of my heart for this video. You helped inspire me tremendously.
Wow... This is so poignant... I am literally moved to tears.
Good, that means you have work to do. You can do it!
The ppl that need to watch this are prbly skipping over it in fear.
This is an eye-opener to what goes on with the victim mindset. Good work.
Great Story. Thank you Baggageclaim and Afterskool
Like everything, this video should be taken with a grain of salt from each side. 1) Acknowledging where you can do better, what control and responsibilities you have, but also 2) understanding that you are imperfect and loving and accepting yourself. If you choose to live in only one way, you'll end up harsh, brutal, and unkind, or like this video: a narcissistic victim. Find balance where you need it.
yea and the idea that all protestors are just gangs of people with victim mentality is a concept she stole from jordan peterson, who still has yet to back up that claim with any real data or research. and the amount he bitches about getting called out on twitter for his asinine takes makes him look like an sjw himself.
Exactly. This world is more nuanced than what this video claims to be.
A complex phenomenon explained simply and brilliantly.
Most people don't even look in 'the mirror', so I am surprised that the girl in the story is actually looking in the mirror if you know what I mean
Love Baggage Claim! ❤❤ this was wonderful
Always easier to point one's finger outward, than aim the finger back at oneself. Especially when the "therapeutic" paradigm surrounds us all every time, feeding all the worst aspects of our psyches with a cotton candy of assuaging (but wrong) notions.
Real improvement and genuine change is always hard. In some cases, brutally hard. You literally are unmaking yourself, to re-make yourself better.
I was moved to tears, thank you!
This is perhaps one of the most well written skits I have ever seen. Nicely done! It has a really nice "progression" of the same point being repeated in more subtile (and not so subtile) ways.
This is such a missed opportunity, people think that talking oneself that is perfect yet they're such a mess of trauma and bad decisions are going to want to heal themselves. This is not how it works but recognising ones flaws drives the improvement, not rising oneself that is perfection personified, this leads only in increased ego, no shadow work.
As someone who struggled through this story himself, I can say that my experiences differed from the video in some significant ways. First, I had no kind reflection. My harsh reflection did not criticize constructively, it mocked relentlessly, giving no direction, only sadistic harassment. Overcoming it was a long struggle that involved flailing about for anything solid. The strategy that eventually worked for me was to take conscious dominance over my own mind, to lay down the law and say, "This mind is under my protection. You have no authority here." With that clarity, I found an internal compass. I didn't know where it would lead, but I knew I could always follow it, and no matter what situation I was in, it would lead me to something better.
It wasn't over, of course. The struggle has continued to this day. But over time, it has gotten easier, and I have made miraculous strides overcoming my crippling depression and anxiety, with no medication. Despite feeling this video is unduly negative toward protests and collective action, I wholeheartedly agree with the intended message: the way out of the victim mindset to an empowered life is through intentional personal change.
Think the point of talking about protesting is there are other people with similliar mindset enabling each other's toxic mind set.
The number one thing in life is caring about your family, friends, and yourself, and acting accordingly. Start caring for others and they'll naturally start caring about you.
"The most important thing you can do in life is show people they are loved and and that they are capable of loving." - Fred Rogers
This channel and these videos are sent from heaven, you've opened my eyes in ways I could have never done myself. Thank you so much ❤
A great collaboration in this video. Thank you
🙏🏼Needed this word today ❤
The one of the best ways, to battle victim thinking is through narrative.
We must tell better stories. We must make good art.
There are many keys, but this is a big one.
the first 9 minutes are quite a good depiction of the inner monologue of an activist ..
I really enjoyed this story.
Thank you for creating it!
I've found since I started talking to god about my troubles, struggles and difficulties that thing's have become much easier and the mist has cleared so I can see the path I am meant to be on. I can't believe how much easier it is to help myself and others now. I now have a list of priorities and a five year plan (never had one ever). I pray at home home, I don't think you need to go to church to learn the bible teachings because there is so much online. However I do think it's a good idea to find a like minded community so you can support each other and get involved in community projects so that you are an active Christian. Love and blessings 🙏🏼🕯️ to anyone who reads my comment. 🕊️
Agreed. Churches are not necessary to find God or inner peace. But be careful, there will be demons/haters in any community. They will be jealous and hateful and will love nothing more than to take advantage or corrupt you for no reason. They feed on naïve suckers. Trust me. Be vigilante. Spread your wings into multiple "communities" for a better understanding of the world and a better defense against it's evils. I have recently been reading a book about meditating and it's been a great companion to the Bible. It's not a sin to seek the wisdom of present day experts. Just don't listen to "stadium preachers"!!
I love Baggage Claim! Thanks for having her on.
This is great! I love it! Even teared up a little at the end. Hopefully this story makes it to the people who need to hear it most.
This video is stunning & deeply helpful. I have shared it with the appropriate beings. Thanks for this.
There are obviously millions of people that never toiled in a coal mine or butchered cattle on the floor of a meat-packing plant. Easy times create weak men. Weak men create difficult times.
There’s people who have never had to drive themselves anywhere. Let alone walk somewhere.
@@puddlessir And those same people will go online and tell someone to check their privilege
Butchering cattle doesn't make you a strong man.
It makes you an animal abuser
They can't fix their own life but they think they can fix the world
I think there's a middle ground / sweet spot between having to be exploited and being spoiled. But yeah, I agree on the last part.
I needed to hear this 📝💎💯
That was brilliant.
The self delusion surrounding those that embrace a victim mentality is palpable. They’re unaware that the comforting voice in their head is actually their worst enemy.
What I loved about this analogy is that the reflections remained unlabeled, so the audience may find themselves identifying with either or both at along the way.
This could have gone on for an hour. It was that entertaining, and, of course, very informative.
Absolutely amazing
This reminds me about podcast that I've listened to not long ago, telling about talking with myself but with 3 me/myself, me that talks with heart and and love and acceptation and understanding, the second me the critic and the third me I mean me before mirror and to learn how to stand up to the 2nd me the critic and to prove myself to this critic inside me and that I'll not let the 2nd me the critic bring me down anymore and in podcast they said that everyone should talk with the 3 me/yourself and as an exercise.
This was so deep and true, a in depth visualisation on how victimhood works. I was at tears with a lot of thrills running through my spine. I think me and many have this but are scared to admit. Let's raise. Raise together with the yearning for self improvement version of ourselves. Self reflection. Literally.
So good! ❤✨
Great video! It is understandable to see teens acting out but I am seeing people in their mid-20s roaming aimlessly complaining about everything. I have still not seen any advocates or protesters actually propose anything that could produce the changes they seek. Like my Dad always told me, "Life is tough kid, keep moving forward".
This is absolutely perfection. I know people like this. This needs to be shared to the masses.
Absolutely, This channel is amazing.
I don't think it's that simple. Some of us have a victim mentality because we were victimized and wounded. That harsh criticism in our heads originally comes from people surrounding us in our environment, like school bullies, parents and teachers who humiliated us, tore us down, and made us feel like we were not good enough to exist. The victim mentality comes from the deep rooted need all of us carry to be loved, accepted and appreciated exactly as we are.
Life is hard for everyone. The key is to overcome trauma, not to hold onto it. Holding a victimhood story is not a virtue. The virtue is in changing our nervous system and thought patterns.
Tolerance and empathy only go so far. It's an assumption to always hold those as the highest virtues in every situation. They are not. Where did honesty go? Each one of us has the obligation to inform others of what they can work on, which is also a virtue. Being honest can be more virtuous than tolerating or enabling bad or harmful behavior. This is essentially the message of this video.
Obviously, I am not condoning abuse of any kind. Encouragement, praise, and constructive criticism are all appropriate.
I was abused as a child. I'm not a victim. I didn't need others to love me as an adult, I needed to learn how to respect myself and love others first. Sometimes the reason people aren't appreciated for who they are is because who they are is deeply unpleasant.
@@ADUAquascapingimportant how you share honesty. I’m from Russia and you can’t see difference when ppl are honest or rude (sometimes both). BC of that environment I have issues with “honest” in that video.
“Tell yourself you’re the problem and accept it”. When I do that it leads me to suicidal thoughts. Great advice👍
@@ADUAquascaping being born is a trauma in and of itself. Being forced to exist and having adults telling you what to do, being threatened and intimidated can entirely warp how you see the world and your role in it. Overcoming that is like overcoming an 18 to 20 year jail sentence.
Hahahaha perfect timing for this video! I've been seeing this girl for like 6 weeks now who's suffering for terrible victim mindset. She's 31, unemployed, lost in her life and can't take any responsibility for her actions. Even the figure in the drawings kind of resembled her lmao. anyways good vid ty again
What are you going to do now with your newfound knowledge? Mock her or help her understand how to move forward?
they need mocking first. quit being soft....@@_justnick
@@_justnick random subtle shot at fella lol
🤣🤣🤣You’ve been entertaining a mentally ill girl for six weeks lol. There’s so many females out there just like her so you’ll eventually have to settle, good luck lol
Send her this video.
This was very powerful & has brought tears to my eye. Thankyou for sharing this. This is my mum in a nutshell, I sent this to her in the hope she gives it a try❤
I'm very grateful to have watched this. I'm 40 years old and definitely feel like I've been playing the victim. Yes allot has happened to me, but so has everyone else. It's up to me to change my thought process towards the world and my past. Only then can I grow. So much love
Wow, this is a great story.
Stoicism is the way to live.
Great video. I've watched some of Baggage Claim's stuff, and really enjoyed her work. And this video is really well made and has a lot of truth.
Thank you for making and sharing this. It helped me.
Amazing 💯💯💯
These are incredible, keep them coming!
THIS is so powerful. Everyone should see this.