NPD is so sad to witness. My sibling has pushed away everyone to uplift himself, and he cannot see how his action are harmful. He thinks everyone else should attend to his needs or else they are attacking him. But, I don't think he will be clinically diagnosed til his future kids are adults. It's always important to have empathy for other but also take care of yourself.
This was a super interesting listen and reasonated with me. I know someone who I have wondered about having a personality disorder. I always thought they were just a jerk until witnessing that "implosion" you describe and was taken aback by the lack of insight they demonstrated about their responsibility in what was happening and the harm they were causing to people who had loved and tried to support them for years before running out of steam. In the years leading up to that implosion they got a lot of sympathy from those people because of their "tough childhood" but I had an extremely similar "tough childhood" and didn't "end up a jerk" in the same way and that really limited my sympathy for them. I'm no longer in touch with this person but continue to reframe the way I think about them, the years we knew each other, and even myself and why we all turn out the way we do as I learn more. Thank you for sharing your expertise.
When I bring up an issue in therapy that is too painful to think about it the memories that my mind had suppressed comes out outside the therapy office and if I allow tears to just be it is liberating a type of freedom creating more space in ny head and in my life. Perhaps the client did not come back because she had an accident, not necessarely due to opening up. It is also true that during therapy it is essential to have emotional and social support.
I think approaching personality as a spectrum is interesting. Makes me think of how video game characters will have "traits" or "skills" that define their in game actions. It would be helpful to understand my "traits" and how they impact my feelings and habits. The more I know about myself the more I can coach myself. Being reduced to a single trait doesn't feel as helpful. I'm trying to fillow through on your requests to stop using clinical terms to describe people. But it's hard sometimes, especially with narcissism. Likely I'm impacted by "bad" online info, but in the same way that understanding myself is helpful, I find it helpful to understand others. So when I see confusing behavior from someone, but then I read that behavior aligning with something like narcissism, I feel like I understand better how to interact with that person, or at least interpret their actions. Is there value in that approach to understanding others? Is there a helpful alternative that doesn't use clinical thinking/terms?
Thank you so much for this episode! My greatest hobby is learning about psychology, so my algorhythm has been basically suggesting over the last months that my husband has NPD, and uncertified people on social media and youtube tell me that he'll never get better, I should leave him as soon as possible to protect myself, since he's never even really loved me... And I started to believe that and the more videos I watched, the more I disliked what I heard. I have been waiting for an episode about Narcissism from my favorite only one believable expert source Dr. Honda, who is telling the www, that narcissists can be treated, and they're all real people, too. You don't have to run away screaming from them. Just know that it's not gonna be easy. But which relationship is? If you found your person and they turn out to be on the spectrum of NPD, you can still make it and be glad you sticked it out. And I feel that's only really possible when you educate yourself about these things. But there's hardly any quality true information out there for lay people, which is basically really almost everyone on the internet... So THANK YOU for saying all the things you said, Dr. HONDA. You have been but now even more so, are my very personal hero!
They can’t be cured. Only behavior modifications. You will spend the rest of your life hoping he changes. Yes it can last, but over time , you will become unhealthy, sick, depressed and the list goes on.
NPD is so sad to witness. My sibling has pushed away everyone to uplift himself, and he cannot see how his action are harmful. He thinks everyone else should attend to his needs or else they are attacking him. But, I don't think he will be clinically diagnosed til his future kids are adults. It's always important to have empathy for other but also take care of yourself.
"And I have butts in my head. But I'm not going to say it, because I feel like that diminishes what I'm trying to get across."-Dr. Kirk Honda.
Ha! Yeah, as I was saying it, I heard it too.
This was a super interesting listen and reasonated with me. I know someone who I have wondered about having a personality disorder. I always thought they were just a jerk until witnessing that "implosion" you describe and was taken aback by the lack of insight they demonstrated about their responsibility in what was happening and the harm they were causing to people who had loved and tried to support them for years before running out of steam.
In the years leading up to that implosion they got a lot of sympathy from those people because of their "tough childhood" but I had an extremely similar "tough childhood" and didn't "end up a jerk" in the same way and that really limited my sympathy for them.
I'm no longer in touch with this person but continue to reframe the way I think about them, the years we knew each other, and even myself and why we all turn out the way we do as I learn more.
Thank you for sharing your expertise.
When I bring up an issue in therapy that is too painful to think about it the memories that my mind had suppressed comes out outside the therapy office and if I allow tears to just be it is liberating a type of freedom creating more space in ny head and in my life. Perhaps the client did not come back because she had an accident, not necessarely due to opening up. It is also true that during therapy it is essential to have emotional and social support.
I would absolutely love to see one of your lectures!!!!
Just have to ask... Did you make this episode 1:11:11 on purpose? 😀
Yup. Thanks for noticing.
I think approaching personality as a spectrum is interesting. Makes me think of how video game characters will have "traits" or "skills" that define their in game actions. It would be helpful to understand my "traits" and how they impact my feelings and habits. The more I know about myself the more I can coach myself. Being reduced to a single trait doesn't feel as helpful.
I'm trying to fillow through on your requests to stop using clinical terms to describe people. But it's hard sometimes, especially with narcissism. Likely I'm impacted by "bad" online info, but in the same way that understanding myself is helpful, I find it helpful to understand others. So when I see confusing behavior from someone, but then I read that behavior aligning with something like narcissism, I feel like I understand better how to interact with that person, or at least interpret their actions. Is there value in that approach to understanding others? Is there a helpful alternative that doesn't use clinical thinking/terms?
Toxic workplaces can definitely traumatize you.
Loved this !!
✅ good video
This was an excellent interview! Enjoyed every minute of it! Thank you Dr. Honda
Thank you so much for this episode! My greatest hobby is learning about psychology, so my algorhythm has been basically suggesting over the last months that my husband has NPD, and uncertified people on social media and youtube tell me that he'll never get better, I should leave him as soon as possible to protect myself, since he's never even really loved me... And I started to believe that and the more videos I watched, the more I disliked what I heard. I have been waiting for an episode about Narcissism from my favorite only one believable expert source Dr. Honda, who is telling the www, that narcissists can be treated, and they're all real people, too. You don't have to run away screaming from them. Just know that it's not gonna be easy. But which relationship is? If you found your person and they turn out to be on the spectrum of NPD, you can still make it and be glad you sticked it out. And I feel that's only really possible when you educate yourself about these things. But there's hardly any quality true information out there for lay people, which is basically really almost everyone on the internet... So THANK YOU for saying all the things you said, Dr. HONDA. You have been but now even more so, are my very personal hero!
Thanks, Mama Bente. Very kind of you.
Yes, I'm glad you see that too!
They can’t be cured. Only behavior modifications. You will spend the rest of your life hoping he changes. Yes it can last, but over time , you will become unhealthy, sick, depressed and the list goes on.
🎉🎉🎉
35:55