When Will My “Detransition” Be Over?
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- Опубліковано 1 сер 2024
- When will my detransition be done? Good question.
Welcome to the third edition of Ask Elle Anything! RIP Ask Elle Anonymously, you were too hard to say.
Question Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:58 When will my detransition be over/complete?
9:18 Is there an end point to my detransition?
13:31 Do I think my detransition is over already?
15:40 Outro
("new text layer" lol)
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Hello! I'm Elle. I'm a 20 year old woman who thought I was a man for 5 years. FtMtF detransitioner. I like to talk about the mistakes I've made, and how things will get better.
Seriously, i would be blessed to have this girl as a friend. So smart, positive, inspiring person.❤🙏
Your comment is actually kind, but we both know you don’t want to be her friend, that your comment is a lie, regardless of her beautiful qualities. The fact is she now sounds like a guy; and I know that disturbs you; it disturbs a lot of people. Truth can hurt, but at least it’s the truth. You’re lying, and deceiving everybody, and your likes are from people who believe what you said, and/or are also deceiving viewers through liking your comment. You’re all the same. The fact is, women hate men, actually we hate ourselves as well, and this girl sounds like a man, and has been processed by testosterone, and is therefore somewhat a man now. Miss AdezzaMusic. Not cool. You’re all very foul. And if God likes this, then he is also foul. A very nasty mix, and vile balance. Go to Hell, all of you.
Matt HD Shut up, mate. God isn’t real. Quit being a dick.
Matt HD honey who the fuck hurt you?
Matt HD okay, she sounds a little bit like a guy. Not a big deal. If I met her IRL, I know we’d get along great, and you’d literally have to pay me not to go on a date with her if I had the chance. No, I don’t hate men, though I do hate myself sometimes. Yes, I really am speaking truthfully. I think I have a relationship with God, and I try to listen to Him before I write anything on the Internet, and that includes responding to you. I don’t think He would approve of what you said, because there’s a lot of bitterness in it. God loves this woman dearly, just like He loves you, and you should speak about her the way you’d speak about your sister. Think about that hard.
@@matthd1139 wtf dude! Who cares about the way her voice sounds like? Me and many others can se Elle and realize the great person she is thats enough
Get your documents changed, Elle. It’s time. You’ll feel so much better. And thanks for sharing your story.
Ask Elle Anything just slaps
Thats what i thought it was from the start
I don’t think you look androgynous, you look completely feminine to me 🤷♀️
Also the text overlay after you talk about you mic made me die laughing for some reason lol, love these ALA’s btw ❤️
girls have hair on their knuckles ! me for example lol
I am a cisfemale, very traditionally feminine features, hairy knuckles. Estrogen effects the quality of the hair and to some extend the quantity, but most women I know have abdominal hair, back hair, knuckle hair.
You look beautiful. Seriously.
I have hair both on my knuckles and my toes
I'm a completely cis female
I need to shave my fingers
Same! On my fingers it's really not bad, but I have to shave my toes because I get dark, curly hair there. Completely normal for women too!
@@nolikitawhen I noticed that I did .. I started biting them off ..not the best idea lol
Mid digit hair crew!
I wouldn't worry about the body hair so much; some women have more this without ever taking testosterone. As a heterosexual male, I don't see the androgyny, so no worries on that front, and your voice is altering on its own, from what I have heard; again no worries there.
Nature probably started to correct most of the things you have mentioned, which will take time, and other concerns about your appearance are simple insecurity, albeit somewhat unfounded.
Girrrrllll don't worry about body hair so much. I'm such a hairy woman, moustache, crazy brows, stomach hair and after years of feeling shit about it and spending so long removing it, I realized I actually don't care and the people I've been with couldn't care less either. You look like such a beautiful woman to me and I've met women with low voices before and I actually think it suits them and it doesn't make them less of a woman in my eyes. I know in the end of the day it's about how you feel not what others think, but know that it's not as big as you see it in your head.
You overthink it. If too much hair bothers you, get it removed! Any woman would! When my youngest daughter was 10, she asked if she could shave. I wasn't allowed til I turned 13. But she had the hairiest legs for a girl that I ever saw. I let her shave. No harm even though she was young. I could see how it could bother her. Hair can bother anyone!
I do have hairy legs too, which I find annoying and not because of some society standard, but I just love my skin to be smooth XD
Girl I'm a hairy female with a fairly deep voice too and I was just born that way. I'm sure it's frustrating not always having had those things but don't let it make you feel any less 'woman' or any less you.
We all go through changes in our lives, most of us not this dramatic, but we all change, grow, develop, etc. So it'll be an ongoing process, just as it would be if you'd never transitioned. It's what we do with the changes we go through that makes the difference.
women develop more hair as adolescence progresses. No one is the same at 17 and 20.
When I was 17 all the hair on my legs was blond vellus hair.
Now at 20, it's grey (Im a blonde so), and pretty much in between vellus and terminal hair.
There was an increase of body hair elsewhere as well.
And yet I started puberty at9, and had my period at 11.
So yes,you keep changing after puberty
edit; Also, hair on knuckles is normal,regularly occurs in women,it's an autosomally inherited trait
From what I've gathered, the key part in vocal training is getting used to pitching your voice higher up in your throat, without doing anything different with your vocal chords. I've tried it myself (because, why not? Another tool in the toolbox), and I found I, baritone voiced me, could suddenly sing along with Sarah Maclachlan, in the same key (no claims on how well I did, but it was rather surprising how close I was able to get without resorting to a falsetto).
Wow, your voice sounds a lot different than it did a few months ago. Thank you for sharing your story - there's no question that it's giving hope and inspiration to people who are also on your path.
What a great POSITIVE video, Elle! You're doing great! I'm so happy for you!!
Im so happy to know that you are feeling better overall!! Wishing you all the best!
You are doing well, you’ve gone about this in such a smart and mature way. It’s amazing to watch and I’m so glad you’ve shared it with us. You are amazing and beautiful.
Honestly your videos are great and I have been so excited for you to post again so I was very happy when I saw this!
Love watching your journey Elle! I think maybe you needed this experience, and you are so clear in your mind now, there's no point in regrets :)
I feel like I can hear your voice changing recently. Your beautiful!
Oh, as a Buddhist, I remember something from a question in Tricycle magazine in which another Buddhist asked about the body, and, the response from several teachers were saying, essentially, the body is sort of like a car, you don't have to take care of it and you can abuse it, and, then it will fall apart and not work, or you can take care of it, its not your brain or heart, but do you want vessel that will carry you far so you can do good and learn and meditate, or a body that is falling appart. So no you won't take it with you when you die, but its your car to take you were you need to go and were you want to go, and even just think about work, if your bodies unhealthy you won't be able to work or do much physically, and we all are going to need to do physical stuff even if just walking to the bathroom or to the kitchen to get food. So yes take care of your body so it can get you to were you want to go, and some Buddhist teachers have said for people whom are trans, then that, just like running or watching what you eat or doing yoga, for trans people, we have to take an additional step others don't to make are car function for us. its a bad analogy, but its sort of like for me i got stuck with a stick shirt when i need an automatic, and i'd say for detransitioners i feel you got an automatic from the start, through you needed a stick shift and now you found out your wrong so you got trade back, and hope once you get your automatic back you will be happy and can move on to doing other great stuff with your life.
Changing documents is a pain (having done this myself after changing my name) but IMO I think you’ll feel better once that’s done. You have a beautiful voice & it is softening a bit.
I think you’re amazing.
Every time I see you, you grow and change.
shaving the external tip of the larynx (adams apple) cannot in any way affect how you swallow.
It's the external tip, that just slides over the skin when one swallows and nothing more
Your body is healing itself. I am so happy for you!
I just want to thank you for sharing your story and your journey with us. You seem to be a very brave and beautiful person.🐛🦋
Things take time. You probably took time before transitioning, and then it took time to transition....it will take time to transition ( not overnight).
And then it will take time to learn about who you are and what you want to be. You are young, and have time...
Just Enjoy Life everyday🙂
Glad to hear you are doing so well and positive of the future. You have much wisdom and in a position to have good influence on young people who are going through this period...blessings to you
I hope this doesn’t undermine your experience, but just wanted to give another perspective to it. I’m a cis woman who has never transitioned and there are things I don’t like about myself that I’m constantly wondering whether it’s worth getting fixed. Some things are natural, some things I’ve done to myself (some tattoos I want lasers). I just wanted you to know it’s an ongoing part of life for some other people too, “becoming” themselves or returning to themselves or wondering whether they’re already themselves but could do more things to be more comfortable and confident.
Your inner joy and comfort really shows!
You sound so positive...happy for you!😃
What is your advice to friends/relatives of newly trans people who want to make sure that transitioning is right for them? Especially, when they are concerned the individual might see transitioning as a cure-all fix for social problems or a coping mechanism?
I just resently started to watch your videos. I just wanted to tell you I think you're awesome!
The camera qual looks so crisp!
You’re doing great! You’re beautiful, never be conscious about the small things. We are our own worst critics x
hey elle! i love your videos as they are but i think it’d be cool if you did some vlog type stuff. i don’t know about others but i’d love to see it!
Your hair looks great like this!!
I don't know anything about hormones, but it probably takes some time until it's stabilized? It's probably the hormones indeed that cause your hairs to grow thicker. I think it's best to consult your doctor about it :) Your body needs to adapt and give it time. You can think of going on to the pill, but you never know which pill is the right one, some people experience moodswings and such. Good luck! I like your videos a lot!
Omg she has changed so much like comparing the first video to now all of her feminine features came back!! Wow 🥰🥰
Your eyes are so pretty.
If you feel self conscious, you can go to a professional speech therapist. They can help you speak in a way that can help you "feminize your voice." Similiar to how men who transition go to such speech therapists.
I am glad you are doing well. You look great however you choose to be. I just hope you feel great too!
for what its worth, you look like a normal woman to me. haven't noticed anything about you that would make me think otherwise in your detransition as far as your apperance goes. plus your voice is getting better and better. keep doing you.
FYI... Epilady type hair removers are great for hair removal... I am naturally quite hairy and have almost no hair growing on my legs now... I think they are scared to grow back cos it can hurt when you pluck.
Thanks for sharing your story! So the liver is the biggest hormone processor in our body. If you look into liver supporting herbs/foods/vitamins, you may be able to push out the excess testosterone. One thing you can look into is a liver support supplement and powdered vitamin C. Just some natural things to look into, to see if it could help.
Hi Elle.
I happened across your channel and became engrossed in the story of your journey. May I share some thoughts as a born female, heterosexual, daughter, mother and physician?
As a Latin woman I can relate to your hair “problem!” I have lived with thick curly hair, thick eyebrows and plenty of other body hair since I can recall. So many of my female patients (especially those of Latin, Mediterranean, Black, Asian Indian and even Irish descent) experience precisely your “hair issue.”
I believe that Western (Caucasian) culture has created a caricature of the phenotypic female - one that 95% of genetic females could never attain. And magazines, the fashion industry, the internet etc. has fueled this unrealistic and unattainable image of the ideal female - to the detriment of generations of us women.
It is only in my fifties that I finally have begun to celebrate my hair and have begun to accept my flawed (yet appealing) body. And here’s a secret from the doctor/mother/daughter: getting laser, waxing, electrolysis is ubiquitous. If you opt for depilation - Go for it! Just know that you are not alone. There are millions of us women out there with hair issues. And it’s an ongoing “battle” since none of the depilatory products or procedures is truly permanent. And here’s the final poetic irony: Just when I thought I got my hair ‘issue’ tamed, Menopause hit. Voilà! whiskers started growing on my chin faster than you could imagine. 😂
Please do not fret. You are a lovely, brilliant young woman of courage. Welcome back to the oft times dusty road of womanhood!
I’m so enjoying your channel.
You look like a beautiful woman
The labels are important! Get your documents changed that will be a milestone and you'll feel better. I believe you're still a little bit this morphic my friend. You are a woman in every sense that you're beautiful you're gentle and you're smart. I love your transparency. be well and continue loving yourself
I have a normal female hormone profile. Never took any hormones but I'm middle eastern and we tend to be ver hairy lol. My hair is black too so it's very visible. Laser hair removal is a godsend in this area. You can find very affordable packages on groupon.
👍 another great video! You look great!
Girl, I had more hair then you do before taking T. Your hair is light so that helpful.
I’m not sure where I can ask questions for ALA ... but I was wondering since you mentioned college a couple videos back... what do you study?
I think you are looking like a healthy young woman. I was interested in your reasoning for hesitating about the trachial shave however. You say its a permanent part of your body now but so is your body hair, so really the true question is, Do I want to do a minor surgery or not? It's a matter of how far you go to feel comfortable in your own body as a woman. Either way you look great and I am loving the way you are feeling so positive about yourself.
You don’t look androgynous, you look feminine! Don’t allow yourself to begin overthinking! You have been doing so amazing with not thinking and just LIVING and we have to choose everyday to live and be present..and that can be difficult with less human interaction. I think you should start doing more lives, or maybe have a live on zoom where you can welcome ppl to come chat, so you can actually see faces! And we can talk about ANYTHING! 😊 doesn’t that sound like fun? I know I would love it and gain a lot from it because I miss human interaction and a I’ve been lacking it for even longer (like four years...I know..my quarantine began a little early Nd that is a LOOOOOONG story! )Anywho..think about it! Oh and you aren’t the only one that feels androgynous. Ever since I cut all my hair off (it was all the way down to my booty and I shaved my head!) I have felt androgynous. Well even before then because I have always grown facial hair too (I just naturally have higher testosterone due to my stress/cptsd and how it has affected my hormones over many years, since very young) And it doesn’t really bother me all the time (esp since I don’t have to go anywhere) but I am thinking about getting a Zenzzi later hair remover (I think thats what it’s called) even though I’m not sure it will even work. It’s a lot of money to drop on something that may or may not work...but It has been bothering me for decades now. I can understand you wanting to shave your larynx down, but it can’t hurt to see a few doctors and get multiple points of view and do research view the years. You can even tell yourself, no matter what, I won’t do anything for 5 years, but in the meantime I will lo9 into it. Ps: you should try to get a Kenzzi to sponsor you! I GAURANTEE they will and you will get to try it for free! One of my other favorite youtubers, Alana Arbucci, is sponsored by them! And then I can use YOUR code instead! I want to help support you..and even though I followed that other sponsor/youtuber longer, I would totally wait to get it for you to get sponsored! Talk to them! Contact them ASAP! I know they will choose you because you are so real and down to earth and you’ve been growing so fast! In any who...as always, loved seeing/hearing you talk and I am so proud of how far you’ve come! You always brighten my day! And you are wise beyond your years! I am 32, and you are very mature for your age, probably because you have experienced more than the average person your age. Either way, it’s refreshing to see/hear somebody so genuine and themselves speak and share their life with us! I think you are truly a great young woman, inside and out, and you will be a positive role model for a lot of people that might feel lost or lonely! 💓😊
ALA: In your last video you said you don't want to get on birth control. Have you considered using Fertility Awareness Based Methods (FABM) to monitor your hormones and menstrual cycle?
I ask because most of my life I never valued or appreciated being born female, and often resented it, because I have a mix of masculine and feminine qualities and felt women didn’t always have a fair shot, BUT these last few years I finally found joy in being female because I started using FABM.
Using FABM I know the day of ovulation, when my period starts, when to prep for positive and negative mood changes, when to destress or eat better, and when/how to have sex if I want. I feel empowered by and proud of being female because I get to observe and understand the beautiful complexity of the female hormone system firsthand while also feeling in control of how it affects me. No matter what I look like or what society expects, I am happy with who I am because I now experience and appreciate being female independent of physical attributes or perceptions of me. A lot of FABM users have similar experiences while some don’t need FABM to feel that way, but I was curious what your view was and if you had considered FABM.
If it makes u feel any better I am a cisgendered female and I can grow a full goatee and sometimes it shows like really bad and I get uncomfortable with it too! I recently just started following u and I think ur really cool
I believe you told in another video that your birth name wasn’t Elle, im not 100% sure, but howcome you’ve decided to chose another name as of now?🌸
Great job dear❤️❤️❤️❤️
Dont worry so much. You look beautiful young lady.
Body hair is the wooorst I’m getting it lazered again I had 6 laser sessions a few years ago but it barely did anything:(
Uhhh the quality has improved so much!!!! Yes!!
Elle I love your Viedo's I have learned so much! You are a Beautiful Woman! Glad that I get to.go on this journey with you. 💖😊🌈
I hope this is okay to say but I think you are gorgeous! You remind me one of my best friends. I genuinely don't think you look or sound at all like a man. I'm glad to see you feeling better and better.
Do whatever you need to get to where you want to be, but from what I've seen through your videos you 100% present as a woman in every way. I have a strong feeling the 2020's are going to be the decade of detransitioning for a lot of people.
As a man from birth I can confirm that all the hair everywhere but where you want it is a pain in the ass. I wish you luck in your quest to be free of it.
I never transitioned and I have that on my throat too, don't beat yourself up over it. Woman body standards are ridiculous.
Girl you're so lucky your body hair is blonde. I know women with the same amount of body hair but it's dark. Count your blessing on this one.
True. My daughter takes after her dad and she has to get everything waxed.
You're awesome, Elle 👍
Just saying, I'm a girl with a pretty large Adam's Apple, and I'm ok with it now, but was a little bit self conscious in stupid high school
sorry if youve answered this before, but how long on T did it take for you to get an adams apple? seems like a lot of trans guys never really get them at all
You don’t need whole body laser, just like legs and arm.....and it’s not very painful and if you find the right salon, not very expensive. Laser on your face is far more intense, but the body is easy.
Ala is my moms name😝 haha i like this series n i love u💗
idk why but i've been watching detransition vlogs for no reason and i don't know why i keep watching them. Came from Ryan Barnes detransition video lol
I have hair on my knuckles on my forearms on my legs and on my butt and I have been a female my whole life. Also your hair are blonde so they look nice. My hair are brown and still I dont care. Be confident for who you are, you are beautiful.
your hair looks very nice.
I am a female. And I get hairy arms and I have hair on my backside and I don't like it I also grow hair above my lip on my chin since I went through menopause and what I do I wax. It's a normal thing. You're a beautiful woman
You have less hair than me, an I'm a "normal" girl that never took testosterone (yes, I got the black chest hair too). I agree that they are really annoying, but if it's of any consolation nobody is gonna question you for it :)
Would love to hear you sing and please do a cooking video 😊
Your voice sounds different than 6 months ago. It’s changing and seems less baritone. Try to think that it took 3 years of hormones to get the way you were it may take you 3 years to return to your pre-hormone physical body. I think it will turn out all good. BTW you look great!
I’m a girl and i have an adam apple and yours look just as mine
so if removing it will cause medical problems in the future then it not worth it tbh :(
Be safe💕💕
Seems like there will come a point where you cross a threshold of being satisfied with your detransition evolution. YOUR expression of femininity that feels like 100% you :) there is obvs things we'll want to work towards and change about ourselves while also being in full acceptance and appreciation of where we are. It doesn't seem to help you, the idea of comparing to what you 'would have been'. It's just like, a perfectionism trap tbh. You can still be fully embodied expression of a woman and someone who is detrans. Examining and changing the things you want to (hair, voice, a.apple) will help! But please don't compare yourself to the non existent timeline of what you would have been like. You are here in the present, you are beautiful and you will evolve on your journey to being the fullest expression of who you are now as a detransitioned person! ❤️
I never noticed an adam's apple at all and a lot of women have body hair - even if that isn't natural to you. I think Sarah Silverman has a bit about how hairy she is. That's not to say that your feelings aren't valid. I get it. Also, I'm really noticing how much your voice is changing. It's amazing. Thank you for sharing your story.
Hun, your adam's apple isn't that noticeable. I've known women who have a much more pronounced one without ever having taken hormones. And lots of women have excess hair (me included). I have a naturally lower voice, too. Seems there are some stereotypes about femininity that are messing with your self-perception. I hope you feel more confident in yourself! Best of luck.
Would getting estrogen injections help reverse the process faster? Or help with the voice change?
Nope, voice surgery is only option. Lots of transgender women go to Korea for getting a higher pitched voice and it's very expensive
Do you think taking female hormones or just the pill would help you accelerate the process of de transitioning?
Elle, you look amazing. Following from the UK. ❤
Its amazing how hormones and t changes even the hand and wrist stracture but it isnt that bad
Just write a little list. Check it off, one. by one.
Your awesome!!!
Have u considered going on the pill for body hair woes? I've not transitioned but I'm part middle eastern (so hairy) and makes me feel soft soft
Same! I used to get my upper lip waxed regularly since I'm a hairy beast lmao but after going on the pill, my body hair has been greatly reduced and is a lot finer/softer. I also don't have to get my "mustache" waxed anymore! 😂
I'm very curious about this pill
Pastel Kaiju pretty sure they mean birth control
It can go either way though-birth control pills gave me "peach fuzz" on my face that I'd never had before!
@@xxCatsAndDragonsxx estrogen birth control pill :))
Question: What do you think of the concept of "gender euphoria"?
you mean "gender dysphoria"
@@areti5034 no, I mean gender euphoria which is talked about in some areas of the trans community
I just want to know what your major is. 😊And, unless it’s different in person, your Adam’s Apple is NOT EVEN noticeable!
Just want to mention that an updo would look great on you.
Laser that cost money for sure.But you can do it.
I know body dysmorphia is mind altering and nothing I say can really change that but you don’t look androgynous at all. Your facial fat distribution gives you away as a woman 100%. Also since you transitioned before you hit your twenties, there are definitely some stuff you might’ve acquired anyways (like body hair) without injections! body hair is normal and natural!
Is there any surgical way to get your female voice back? I knew a pretty girl who was always female but had a deep voice (even deeper than yours) and this seems odd. I am asking this question out of scientific curiosity.
Have you thought about taking estrogen to counteract the testosterone in your system. I think estrogen would heighten your voice as well.
Hi! Wow, you would make a cool David Lee Roth Van Halen impersonator...
Do you sing? Check out my singing, Super low contralto, basso-contralto, singing most of Frank Sinatra's range...
Just wanted to let you know that lots of women have facial hair, regardless of if they have taken T or not. It still bothers me, too, but it doesn't make you any less feminine.
The boy you reminds me so much of Peter Pan!
Laser will definitly help
if your last memories of your body without t are from your early teens, that's definitely not your 'natural state' anymore. A lot of cis women (including me) didn't have much body hair in their teens, but have it on their chest and butt and hands as adult women. Remove it if it really annoys you, but maybe consider whether you would still dislike it if you weren't seeing it as a reminder of testosterone?
Elle, honestly - I never notice your Adam's apple, and I bet you no one else does, either. I think you look beautiful just the way you are. Sure, you may have to shave now, but will that last forever or will that go away? I just think you're adorable just the way you are, but yeah change all the legal documents and your name - I think that will help you so much.