Why Self Love Alone Isn't Enough
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- Опубліковано 9 тра 2024
- Self-love is often talked about because it's something many of us struggle with. In a world that constantly bombards us with unrealistic standards and pressures, cultivating genuine self love can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. Everyone nowadays is obsessed with consumption content on self-love, self-care, and personal development, but is self love truly enough for us to feel content and happy in our lives?
Today we are spilling the tea on why self love isn't enough and what we can do instead to better ourselves and genuinely improve our lives, relationships, mental health, and well-being.
#selflove #selfhelp #selfcare #personalgrowth
Writer: Dylan Swanepoel
Editor: Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Gabriel Miles
Animator: Maggie Wehler
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES:
Campbell, W. K., Foster, C. A., & Finkel, E. J. (2002). Does self-love lead to love for others? A story of narcissistic game playing. Journal of personality and social psychology, 83(2), 340.
Gallinari, E. (2017). “Likes” for Self-Love? The Effects of Social Media on Self-Perception. Undergraduate Review, 13(1), 100-105.
Jerrentrup, M. J. (2022). Misplaced Messages? Social Media Promoting Self-Love. Indiana Journal of Humanities and Social Sciences, 3(2), 62-68.
Jakubiak, B. K., & Feeney, B. C. (2017). Affectionate touch to promote relational, psychological, and physical well-being in adulthood: A theoretical model and review of the research. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 21(3), 228-252.
Campbell, W. K., Rudich, E. A., & Sedikides, C. (2002). Narcissism, self-esteem, and the positivity of self-views: Two portraits of self-love. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(3), 358-368.
Hojjat, M., & Cramer, D. (Eds.). (2013). Positive psychology of love. Positive Psychology.
Share your thoughts below!
second! :)
I love your channel
Well that's because if it was sufficient we wouldn't live as a society
You also MUST seek and have a relationship with GOD! HE IS THE ULTIMATE LOVER OF CREATION ❤
Some people love themselves so much to the point it becomes narcissistic.
Some of the hypocrisy in this mental health hack. Does nothing many on any 'dating' no one wants love they want self gain to attention and validation social media likes to obviously the sin of lust.
Try finding someone real nowadays. No one wants it unless it isn't much triggering things. Nonchalant life.
It is hard to find "real love" or unconditional love unless it is by blood...
People are social creatures but many take for granted all the attention to love from others they get daily while some literally have no one.
Self-love isn’t enough. We must also develop our self-worth and self-esteem. We must recognise what we are worthy of. Instead of just loving everyone and everything.
I'm sorry but I feel like what you said is somewhat contradictory. You can keep telling yourself you are worth it or better than you think. But humans are social creatures. There is a limit to how much you put yourself on a self pedestal. To make yourself feel better. I think you are only seeing what you said from one side. Or social media validation. Sometimes the validation from a long time friend or from people who truly care for you is enough. It is just some have literally nothing and struggle daily for their self love to be pushed to the limits and for no one to just be their for a hug or validation.
@@keip4568 some have nothing and struggle everyday for their self-love to be pushed to the limits?wdym?
Talking about both points you two made, I agree with both. Humans are social creatures, but sometimes their ambient doesn´t give them what they need.
I have PTSD which I got due to a social situation, and talking in that specific place feels like too much effort, too much pain saved inside me... so much that i´ll feel if I fail. Yet, for years I used to have the goal of making friends in there! The outcome wasn´t only a failure, but also left me a bigger scar.
Is not what should happen, but sometimes you just need to do what the original comment says, but all whitout forgetting others, don´t seek love because that hurts your self-worth. Only love people who know how to appreciate you! :3
Also, I gotta say that after everything that happened, I now have the goal of not allowing people to decay like I once did, so even if I´m not seeking, I´m still supporting a form of external love.
Self-love/Philautia comes first, any other form comes after, we can't love other things and people if we are not secure with ourselves.
@@nunahovy I comprehend the entire huge paragraph, but not the last small one.
This is what I was telling a couple of people I discussed this with. We can do self love all we want, but it doesn't measure to being hugged. Carressed. As someone who has blossomed slowly with self love, I thrived when I met my best friend because she 100% provides things self love can't. I wish more people could understand this and not go- you need to love yourself more then anything, before you love anyone.
Depends on the person. I know that people talk about how not being hugged a certain amount of times a day, not sure the exact amount, is harmful and perhaps that is the case for the majority. I can’t really say. What I can say though is there are outliers. These kinds of studies are, unsurprisingly, done with the average person’s brain development in mind. So for people like me, whose brain development deviates significantly from the average person, studies based on them simply isn’t going to be accurate or helpful.
I’m generally repulsed by touch when it comes to people (don’t have the same issue with animals, I absolutely love petting and snuggling with animals). I always have been. I have no issue with handshakes and high-fives with anybody, as well as poking people on their upper arm or giving what I call “head hugs” (where I lay my head on their upper arm) if I trust them. I can occasionally do a short true hug as long as either I’m asked or I initiate, but that’s very dependent on a lot. These are the only types I will ever allow. I would like to add that this doesn’t come from trauma, it’s entirely just due to how my brain developed.
Anyway I’ll stop before I ramble on any more, but I’m glad that meeting your best friend helped you thrive!
If you still say that self love doesn't compare with a hug or with being caressed by someone, then you didn't truly understand the concept of self love from your core. When you no longer wait for something from the exterior to make you happy, that is self love. Reading between your lines I can sense that feeling of loneliness somehow. When you truly love yourself you don't feel lonely anymore and then of course, life will give you the chance to experience love with someone else as well. But it all starts with the inner work that you do. Be well with yourself first and then life will give you other possibilities. 🤗
@@Danaiutzthis idea of “you’re doing self love wrong” or “you don’t truly love yourself” for still craving human connection, intimacy, and touch is so dismissive and condescending. We are social beings literally hard wired to connect with others. Isolation and loneliness has effects on the brain that alters someone’s reality. It is important to understand that 2 things can be true at once, and they don’t cancel each other out; being able to enjoy your own company and understanding yourself to the core WHILST wanting intimacy with others is completely normal. Especially when you consider everyone has different needs I.e. love languages, introversion/ extroversion, mental health illnesses, etc. There ARE benefits to having social relationships that you wouldn’t get just being by yourself; that is a fact. Becoming so dependent on yourself that you shut people out or developing a superiority complex that replaces healthy relationship behavior is more harmful than just wanting to have people to rely on. Self love is knowing how NOT to be treated by others and respecting yourself based on your own moral and social standards. Bottom line: Craving hugs and intimacy does not mean that you don’t love yourself enough. In fact, it shows that you are in tune with your needs, and not accepting less than what you deserve. Yes, romance yourself and be your own best friend, but it is also beneficial to have a community alongside that. By your logic, people in relationships don’t love themselves because they crave intimacy with their partners. No, 2 things can be occurring at the same time.
@@Danaiutz I find og comment to be brave, vulnerable and authentic as heck.As a newly widowed can say no amount of self love can replace knowing you have those who love and respect just as you are. You really have to look at the bigger picture. When someone's wants intimacy, maybe they are going through a rough time.
@@PlaydayjanaeThe word "craving" explains that you are still in a place of LACK. You still crave for something on the exterior because you didn't do the inner work. And if you did it and still think so, you did it wrongly. Self love doesn't mean you put yourself on a pedestal or that you are only dependent on yourself. Of course we are social creatures and it is 100% normal to want to experience exterior love as well, but "want to" is not "need to". Self love teaches you that exterior love is a choice and not a necessity. And believe me that when you really understand self love, life will give you a good partner or people with whom you can experience other types of love. I hope I've made my point clear. I wrote 2 comments in the main thread as well. I wish you all the best!
God I needed this. I have been saying for YEARS that expecting self-love to be enough is like plugging a powerbar into itself and wondering why the lamp didn't turn on. Every time someone tells me that I only need myself or I just need to love myself more, my heart breaks. It just makes me think that I still haven't done enough to deserve love from anyone else.
This.
There is nothing that makes me feel worse than when I tell someone I'm lonely and want to be loved and I get told to love myself and that I don't need anyone else, or that I HAVE to love myself if I want to even think about loving others. It feels like a complete slap in the face every time, and honestly if feels like they do it on purpose.
@@RealNorbol They probably *do* say that on purpose. Because they know they're wrong. The fact that this video and these comments even need to be made and said are SAD!!!! We are not islands! We need others to love and to love us. Self love is helpful up to a point and for those that lack self-esteem and confidence. True love does not begin and end with self - it extends outward to others. It needs to be shared.
It's super toxic hyperindividualism, pseudo-psychology imo. It's not backed up by anything other than the ideology that people, somehow, "shouldn't" need other people for anything. We're deeply social animals who have always and will always need each other. As such, we have responsibilities towards each other, and the myths of self-love and self-sufficiency are, ironically, just concepts made up to shift those responsibilities unto others. Human babies die from lack of touch and perceived lack of love from others. Relationships, feeling loved, appreciated and understood by others are the biggest predictors of happiness. I would not only say that "self-love" (if it even is a concept that has any meaning to it) is wholly insufficient, I would say that it actually is the exact opposite of what those people are saying: it is only through the love of others that we can THEN truly love ourselves. We see ourselves through the eyes of others. We think we are "boring", or "beautiful" or "talented" because other people judge us as boring, beautiful, talented. We can be the exact same person, but perceiving ourselves in the totally opposite way depending on the people surrounding us. If you were the last person on Earth, there would be no such thing as "a boring person", it wouldn't mean anything. In the same way, we need to be loved to truly understand ourselves as "lovable" and be able to reach any significant degree of "self-love".
Dude fr like it hurts my soul whenever I hear that @@RealNorbol
I always feel that way when someone tells me to love myself or learn more about myself when I'm in the state where I need someone, not myself. It makes me feel better that someone else feels the same way.
Finally, this aspect got voiced over - self-love is not enough. Because I'm tired of hearing that just you can make yourself happy and go love yourself 😐
We need all of those forms of love, they are so fulfilling.
self love IS enough, once the torment of being alone and rotting up in loneliness have torn you down completely, you slowly start to become hyperindependent of humans, period.
0:33 how love has changes
1:21 self love is a process
1:36 the shape of love
2:46 self love or narcissism?
3:18 to love and to be loved
Finding friends is much much much much much much easier said than done when those in the past started ignoring you probably due to personal problems in their lives, no matter how many helpful and amazing videos you people upload :,(
There's ONE friend I have but she's in a long term relation and lives in another country by now, lives a different life.
My parents are both dead, I have no siblings and no contact with any potential aunt or uncles of which at least one of my uncles also turned kinda into a "Corona is a method to dictate us" type of person, which hurts badly.
No time or space for a pet either, so all I really can do is counting down days until I am no more. Local authorities already proofed to me when mom died shortly before the pandemic that everything she had will be destroyed, which is why I don't see much value in my existence and meaning anymore either.
My boss ever since I lost my mother said I shall get my shit together and while readers of this comment could say just get another job, that is something not as easy with multiple disabilities and low graduation.
Oddly enough, I enjoy my life whenever possible but the social aspect is brutally messed up.
Hang in there...
I know it's hard, been down there before, all you have to do is accept what happened and try to live with it, moving from it may need time, and you could have that but mindfully, relations built over time just open up for opportunities and understand that what's meant to be will be. I prefer looking at these situations as challanges, going through one now myself, this way help you stand for it and save yourself from fading, just remember there will always be someone waiting for you just keep it up and everything will be okay by Allah's will❤
Bro, your situation sucks! You are strong as hell for surviving like that already! Maybe, if you have some free time you could attemp to go and learn anything you are curious about. There are free courses everywhere, and in the majorty of them activities are in team. Activities are a good and healthy place to get friends on, and you can find really diverse people
You matter
You arenot alone, even if u feel it. They are not enough any words you can hear from anione from the other side of a screen. These times, we normalized to answer people we dont know, like I am doing right now. We are a lot of people strugling with diferent things that affect us. Lots of people dont know how to handle things. We do the best we can and many times seems that is not enough, that were not enough. Its sad but common. Thats why we arenot alone. Because we are complex human beings that sometimes need help. Dont feel.worryes for asking. Someday someone will help you. Just have faith. I dont mean about religious or any kind, but in life. Think that all the obstacles you manage to handle, will make you stronger and more capable of livung the way you want to life. Good luck.
So true! We’re all encouraged in this day and age to self love but we need to give and receive love, real love, from real ppl!
ewww, talking to people.
@@anderstermansen130 you can do sign language 😊
Ever since November 2023, It’s been vary harsh. Yes, I’ve been better with learning and practicing Self Love, but I know it’s important to have other love.
I just hope one 1 day that I can see them again.
Maybe we all need to realize that what we need is more self-acceptance and self-reflection both inside and outside of ourselves.
Our ups and downs are valid but we have to train ourselves to get rid of the bad side. Never focus on the negative side. You have to keep practicing, growing until you find peace within yourself.
But never forget that we do need the support of other people to help us when we are down. Find a support system and you're good to go.
My own experience as a BD 🙏🏻
I do have both self-acceptance and self-admittance. What makes me depressed most is lonliness.
@@TheGoldNinja101 OMG me too, but i'm not having depressed experience, is just boring for me.
So i made my day as a game or as a movie. Everyday is a different game and different movie character as I want.
Perhaps you could try my method.
It's so much fun to face the world by this way. I hope you can inspired at least to try it once. Nothing to loose, tho 😊
Some people love themselves so much to the point it becomes narcissistic.
People are social creatures but many take for granted all the attention to love from others they get daily while some literally have no one.
So I'm introverted narcissist, cuz I love myself more than anything and I don't care about anyone else?
@@johnnykend5728 Have you ever talked to a psychologist about that?
@pvmstudios599 Do I look like I need? Cuz I won't let anyone to take away from me my only happiness and peace. People shouldn't be forced to have a partner and love others. We can easily live on our own and give enough love to ourselves with ease. Getting a partner over your own happiness isn't worth it at all. Only fools risk losing everything, so I'm not gonna be that fool. No risk no pain. If I'll never risk, then I never lose anything, that's precious to me, but if I risk, then there's very high chance of losing everything.
@@johnnykend5728 Hey, you know that multiple people are going trought the same than you, right? If you continue like this, you are probably gonna die and feel like shit at the end. Yes, nobody can´t force you to go to a therapist or care about others, I bet you had a bad life at this point and that every possible thing that could lead you to possible pain just feels like is gonna break you even more, yet, act for the better of the world, act for all of those like you that don´t know how to even love themselves (unlike you, supposedly). I assure you that your own worth and self-love will feel more pure and honest.
I´m not here to change you btw, just consider my words :)
@@johnnykend5728 You improved yourself. And if you think that is right, nobody can question you! Try to be perceptive and help others get the same tools for survival :D
In essence, self-love provides a strong foundation for personal growth and resilience, but it's just one piece of the puzzle. A fulfilling life involves nurturing relationships, facing challenges with courage, contributing to the greater good, embracing all emotions, and finding a balance between self-care and caring for others.
Thank you for this, this is exactly what I've been dealing with lately.
For those making comments about "seeking relationships with others is a clear sign you haven't fully loved yourself"- believe it or not we all have different experiences. Some people here, like myself, have put in the time (A LOT OF TIME) in ourselves, and do love ourselves, care for ourselves and so on. But this doesn't mean we have given up on wanting to connect with others on a deeper level as well.
Sometimes, self-love is not enough.
The most basic self-love is having self-esteem. If you don't have that, there is nothing.
This is such a baseline quality that it's generally not even discussed, because with truly no self-esteem life is completely meaningless.. 😞
All the psychological content on this topic I found on UA-cam told me that self love is the most important thing and you should prioritize it the most, but I never really felt that way. So thanks to this video now I know that external love is important too, and self love isn't the only thing I need. Thanks Psych2Go! :]
Thanks for making this video!!! I was on the train comming back home from college and then I stopped to look at people there. Everyone was on their phones, and I'm from Brazil. Brazilians are mostly very talkative people, who enjoys A LOT to connect with each other, even with strangers, but now I can totally notice how things have changed in society, specially because of our phones. I felt sad. I am very sad and feeling lonely lately, but I'm glad I'm trying to make friends and go out more and connect with people. I think the connection between people is sooo amazing and beautiful! It bothers me a lot that everywhere you go people are saying YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING, and I think this was meant to help people but it can also create isolation, with people "loving themselves" more than ANYTHING and then not being patient and caring with each other, not being able to give love, and with that, not being able to receive love as well. We need to talk more about how we are distancing ourselves from each other and how that's causing us to be depressed and anxious ans feeling lost! Thanks for making a video that shows that external love is necessary for our own well being and that self love IS NOT EVERYTHING WE NEED. Yes, we do need it, but we need others as well!!! I love talking to strangers and connecting with them, ask about their lives and let them be heard, cause I know how lonely I feel and not everyone is there to listen to me, so I want to treat others as I want to be treated. People nowadays are so hurt that they get lost in themselves and start being selfish to basically protect themselves thinking they're doing the right thing without noticing they are only blocking themselves from others. I'm studying to be a therapist and I can't wait to learn everything I can so I can help more and more people, and I love your vídeos!!! ❤❤❤
"At first you can live without it, but in the end you will start craving for the flame that keeps you warm." - A wise person
no, we are doing just fine without people.
What we crave is connection, bonds both lasting & fleeting, we will always feel the need to connect with someone even if we don't want it.
Self love isn’t and will never be enough to substantiate for the connection with others. I have so much love for myself but it doesn’t change the occasional loneliness I feel stemming from lack of intimate relationships (platonic, romantic and familial).
Because I’m not in a safe environment surrounded by healthy people to experience these things, holding space with myself, continuously exercising self care and giving myself love is all I can do. But I do it through volunteering and community advocacy because it’s fulfilling and giving hope to others the same way I maintain hope for myself.
What do you mean with the part, where you wrote, and i quote "Self love isn’t and will never be enough to substantiate for the connection with others" ? I stopped connecting with other people, as it ends in disrespect, misunderstanding and backstabbing every single time. Why do people think its worth bothering to talk to other people?
@@anderstermansen130 As someone who used to have the avoidant attachment style, I understand why you feel it’s better to be alone than with others… but 2 years in therapy and support workshops not only helped me develop a more secure attachment style, but discover that isolation is a coping mechanism emotionally wounded people use to “protect” themselves from possible rejection and discomfort.
I love myself more than anything and because of it, I can walk away from people, places and things that don’t positively serve me without demonising what harmed me or shutting down. Even loving and respecting myself, having boundaries and being able to navigate conflict appropriately, the occasional feeling of loneliness will prevail because self love can’t replace the love and connection and community from others.
As humans, we’re genetically designed to socialise and network. It’s factually impossible for anyone to survive without mutual interaction. Isolating and depriving yourself of the potential to find community only hurts YOU in the end.
Unfortunately, there’s a *LOT* of people suffering from unhealed trauma and because of it, they project mistreatment onto others not realising it’s a reflection of how they feel about themselves. It’s easier said than done but try not to take it personally. Others’ inability to be authentic, respectful and kind is discouraging no doubt but don’t let it stop you.
To this day I’m continuously having people I once loved and cared for disrespect and show me their true colours. Does it hurt? Absolutely. Am I going to shut down every time someone says/does that hurts my feelings? *Absolutely not.* Pain is temporary but love lasts a lifetime. It might not be available to me at the moment, but I’m patient and willing to take time until it comes my way. Until then, I’ll keep nourishing myself and connecting with my community until that opportunity comes, because even without intimate relationships I strive to have, it feels good helping others platonically.
Edit: I’d like to clarify that I’m not invalidating your feelings but I do apologise if that’s how my response comes across. It’s easier for me to be more trusting and open because I’m in therapy and accept the possibility of being hurt, disrespected and mistreated while trying to provide love and support for others. As a former avoidant now securely attached person, I find vulnerability to be a superpower because attached to it is authenticity and a sense of self that I have and embody. I’m sorry that you’ve also experienced the misfortune of meeting people who don’t have your best interest at heart but I do hope that some day you’ll be able to see the beauty that comes with building community and connecting to others.
Well finally someone has said that self love isn’t enough to be happy and there’s nothing wrong with wanting affection from others. Sure, what they think about us doesn’t always matter but if very few people want to be around us it’s very demoralizing. So yeah, we need external sources too to be happy, it doesn’t always come from within, after all we’re social creatures and we need others so it’s natural if we care and want approval from them
Society has always had tendacies to overcorrect. Everything in life requires balance.
I hope...
I love.
I live
In other words, we all must rely on a support system in order to keep us emotionally and psychologically healthy and sound of mind. We need others to love us in order to actually be stable.
YUP
But how do you that without a support system? I don't have any friends and whenever I do make a friend if I talk about anything deep they leave or tell me to figure it out my family is covertly narcissistic what am I supposed to do?
@@ultimatewafflegaming1018it’s the same for me. Nobody notices me, or pays attention, I’m ignored, yelled at, or not taken seriously. Or just not deeply talked to the right way, like there’s no genuine connection, nothings enough. Not even the start of enough. Misunderstand or not caring. I’ve never been hugged or kissed, or held, or touched. There’s nothing. I’ve never talked about my pain, much less talked about me much. I can’t explain. But there is no support system. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. Your exactly right. What are we supposed to do? It seems the answer is nothing. There is no system, so there is nothing. You kinda just take the beating. And that is that. It’s very hopeless.
Thank you so much for this video.
Awesome video with such an important message too. ❤
Narcissism is a lack of self love - it’s a projection of desire to feel love. It’s not the same as self love.
Thank you. Sometimes we need people to show us and guide us and just be there for us and believe in it and we don't believe in ourselves
yes, we need to accept ourselves and try to improve it. but dont forget that not every bad side can be thrown away. sometimes there are some bad sides that becomes a part of your soul, no matter how much you try. but its better to apprreciate the bad sides too, instead of just kicking them away.
my experience as an undiagnosed borderline.
This videos just keep coming out as I need them ❤
Thank you! 💕
There's a type of person that need someone to love and value them .
It's fair icl
I needed to hear this.
I think people deal with enough in modern society than be told that things like this. People are lonelier than ever, and I doubt the vast majority who could actually do anything about it if shown clearly how to do it, would decide to continue being miserable.
As many state in similar ways, “you can’t hug your self”, and that is very true.
Life is such a mercurial thing, you might be surrounded by people that never experience the things you do in the ways you do, and vice versa. There’s sometimes no real rhyme and reason for it to be the way it is, and if you spend the time as I have in exploring every which way to look at it or hopefully make it better and it just doesn’t ever change anything, then you just start to believe it’s just a roll of the dice. Whether you choose to believe you have a hard life because you are being punished or an easy good one because god is good, you are just coping in some way more than likely.
I would say, no matter how mad I’ve ever been at someone or say the closest to a child I have ever had being my dog, I wouldn’t feel compelled to sentence them to a lifetime of what a vast majority experience here. I don’t think a parent who “loves” their child would be okay with that. I say “loves” because that’s how we are taught about “god”.
So this again rules out religion really, as the most probable, it has to be a lick of draw and the ability to receive and be given love by others is a bit of a inherited trait maybe. Some of us get it easier than others and some of us get none of it. That’s a hard way for any being to live I imagine. At what point can you no longer escape the reality that you’re cards are what they are, and no amount of UA-cam, old movies you’ve now seen so many times you can’t stomach to watch and bring no relief or break like they once did, no new game or hobby, no new piece of clothing, or money, or drug or alcohol, or new job, or dating app, or meetup group makes your mind able to to think, “maybe this is it, this might be a means to finally feel a sense of love and belonging and friendship, a connection I would value well”. But nothing but the same thing occurs, no matter how you approach it, and the “self-work” you did.
What videos do you suggest for that Psych2go? I get your intentions are entertainment, and not mental health advice, but don’t you feel a bit of responsibility for the fact you know the audience that watches your videos, and having a video that basically tells them that the love for themselves isn’t enough for a human, as if the solution is easily attained by the basic same approach one might suggest someone going through a breakup.
1. Exercise
2. Eat well
3. Get out there
4. Hang with friends
5. Date more
I love your videos keep up the great work
Good video. I'm glad it triggered me into an emotional flashback. Helped me question and deconstruct various traumatic programming I ended up running on for years.
Self-love is a fascinating topic. What is the self in the first place? To me, it's a broad umbrella term. From a certain height of consciousness, the entirety of all existence is the Self. So to love oneself is to love one's life.
Then what is the best way to do that? To use everything, life throws at us to sharpen our virtue. It can include learning how to be loved or fulfilling the needs that were repressed or shame bound.
What true self love is, is the life one lives, the intention one brings into every day. The art project one makes of their character and limited time here. The unconditional commitment one makes to oneself. To be the most one can be.
That life is a contribution to the world, to a larger state of mankind, to ones own family, and then, of course, to this individual sense of identity we all possess.
Sometimes, it is to rest. Sometimes, it is to push oneself when one is lazy. But it is important to be solid within who you are. Because those are the best relations. When one is a full cup. Then, one can pour into another. Yet it is also important to understand when your cup is empty. To have humility of that fact that we all are simply finite creatures. That we need to be filled at times, too.
These videos are MUCH more useful and informative than the "5 reasons" format typically taken by Psych2go.
Keep 'em coming!
Exactly self love is really important but it doesn’t replace the warm feeling of a hug or a kiss or just having meaningful conversations
3:51 Took the words right out of my mouth.
thank you so much
I love this channel❤
Self love is a concept and once you learn and adopt it, you should apply it in all areas of your life. It is more like a lifestyle. It is definitely the more difficult kind of love to achieve, but when you really understand it you will have more fulfilling relationships with the people around you. I don't think self love should be compared with exterior love because these are 2 different subjects. The key here is to love yourself enough so that you can experience other types of love at the fullest. If you don't love yourself and just expect to receive love from the exterior, you will find eventually that nothing really fulfills you and you can't be 100% happy even if you have a partner. That's why so many relationships or marriages end. It seems that even many psychologists didn't understand what self love really is or didn't experience it truly, otherwise they wouldn't even compare it with the other types of love. When you love yourself for real, the exterior love becomes a choice, not a necessity. That's it!
I like your opinion over this
This is really right, self-love could never be enough, it's not just the emotional thought, but also the rational one what really stops it from being enough, because a rational thought would search for confirmation to really know if it is this way.
It's not something bad though, even if it seems to be, if we didn't have this same logic way to see things, teamwork wouldn't really be a thing, and because of that society wouldn't exist either.
I've always thought that the human being needs all the types of love to feel truly appreciated. Is not enough by being loved only by yourself, or only by your family, or only by another person.
My parents have always said that I'm exaggerating by saying I feel lonely because I've never felt loved outside my family, and that it's ungrateful to "not appreciate the love they give me". (Not that they can understand me. I'm 20 with no friends or girlfriend while they have a lot of friends and found the love of their life at 15). But if the love of your family was enough, there wouldn't be so much couples in the world. All kinds of love are necessary.
Imagine being granted the ability to socialize, find your love of your life at age 15, and have EVERYTHING sorted out, by the time you turn 30. You have a house, wife, kids, a car and a dog. I just turned 28 last saturday, as of writing this comment, and not even if i tried, could i cruise this singlelife any harder, on autopilot.
@@anderstermansen130 turned 30
Felt love outside of family just once And that was last year (29) or so i thought. She left me for someone else and since then felt empty and life not worth living
Hello physch.I really liked that this video talked about the other types of love that we need besides of our self love.
I enjoyed this video :))
So glad you enjoyed this video! Thanks for your support!
@@Psych2go u welcome,my pleasure :)
Later wjen i have the money im gonna get one of ur plushies bc i think there super cute(also i would like to support u guys)🥰🥰
amazing voice over
Never in my life have I felt more complete than when I opened up to my best friend. When the pandemic started, I had only known him for a year and I didn't feel close enough to tell him about my problems and feelings, so I felt very alone and sad. Until one day I decided to trust him and told him how I felt about everything that was happening, he was very supportive and since then our friendship was full and my mental health improved a lot.
Ya that's truuuu 💯😎👌 you gotta love yourself before you love someone else.
I knew what all my friends were saying isn’t true. They always say you need to love yourself first and blah blah blah, even doing so I still didn’t feel fulfilled.
Love this thank you. His voice doesn’t seem over sexualized.
Thank you for your feedback!
Inner peace is great. Having the internal headspace be a pleasant one to exist in. But external input can have a level of emotional impact that isn't as easy to reach through internal thoughts.
I need more love in my life❤❤❤
I pray you get every bit of love and more ❤
No... ....you dont, trust me.
One time while watching Moulin Rouge I heard the words "The only thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return" and I thought it was so cute, but I only ever lived by half of it: to love. And I thought that was enough, but allowing other people to love YOU is another skill altogether, and a super important one. Once I finally figured out that I'm lovable and was able to picture others loving me in return - it's as if I found the Yin to my Yang and I finally became whole
@Gabriel, you have one of the kindest voices on the internet so if you ever do a reaffirming audio telling me "I got this and I can do it" that thing will go on repeat in my headphones for a looooong time. I would happily pay good money for such a track!
self-love in my opinion is like an imbalanced meal, you also need the love of others to make it more balanced. think of self-love as the basis for love that builds yourself, and the love from others fills in the rest. Yes, at the end of the day, you'll be with yourself but no man's an island. I find that a lot of people nowadays tend to lean too much on self-love and forget to love others and appreciate what others give to them, leading to people to turn to themselves more. This is why social media is brimming with people just filling terabytes of data of their faces. I also think people are afraid to get hurt, which is normal, but you have to put yourself out there to get love.
@3:13 but narcissists don't actually feel good about themselves that's why they gotta leech it off of others they are emotional/mental/spiritual/physical vampires, and are sooo insatiable! I learned it comes from deep shame and no empathy, Not excessive self-love that's the facade; superiority that stems from their inferiority complex! 🙄
Happy healthy/secure/confident humans love themselves in a healthy way.
Highly empathetic humans usually don't have enough boundaries, are often burdened down cause vampires dump, and are not healed up fully.
Insecures narcs are just bullies and everyone knows that their inflated ego is sooo fragile because of such deep self-hatred!
It’s complicated to express myself, but one thing I know as long as I feel comfortable with, I don’t mind, when it’s not..I just simply say NO❤
Well, i can make all the friends you want. I did it. But loves just doesnt come. After a time i have learnt that some people arent meant for love, even if you want it or need it. It is just like that. The sooner you admit it the sooner you can start working on yourself and try to learn how to be happy with your resources and circunstances
I believe self-love is about if we get pretentious love from a harmful person and keep getting people like that, we can love ourselves enough to stay away from them even if the situation demands us to stay alone. It is about not fearing being alone. We should only allow good people with actual intention to love us, benefit us, help us and teach us in our life. If people misunderstand self love as "I am enough, I don’t need anybody" then it is harmful. We should love ourselves first then anyone else.
The end of this video brought up some interesting questions for me; what of the people who can’t form a new family? Who can’t reconnect with old friends or make new ones? Who can’t get a pet? What of these people who are stuck in such situations due to disabilities? How can they change anything or find love that isn’t just self love? Because quite frankly it seems rather impossible when all those things are working against a person.
The answer is nothing. Which is just unfortunate, for everybody left behind. I’ve asked and wondered all this too. Doesn’t lead anywhere good.
@@fearful1139 become a hermit it is, I’m already halfway there!
@@MidStaryNight Yes! Right on track!
@@fearful1139 at least I’m doing SOMETHING right! :D LOL
Ohh maaan, I'm a little late :(, but I think this topic is kinda remind me with myself, because for my own experience of getting bullied in school and having kinda uncaring parents about my mental health, locking myself and waiting things so just "fix by themselves" never worked, nah this year i kinda fixed some of this problems in school, and after like putting myself in the right place with right people, i felt like...a Little more alive, I'm not gonna talk about that thing to mush but also remember guys DON'T change yourself or do things that you don't want to do to be loved! Because this is not how it works, and NEVER Link your self worth with others
Aw I love the cats animation 🩷😽
Exactly!
This video dropped at a good time
IS THIS A CHALLENGE?!!!! I WILL LOVE MYSELF MORE THAN I LOVE MYSELF!!!
Idk how to love myself it’s hard to love myself like, to be honest I always hated myself because I feel like I’m not deserving of love nor hugs from anyone when I’m down I always push people away and be cold to them because I feel like I’m worthless. I
haven’t accepted myself since 2020🥺😞
u wont get love by deserving it. u need to want and try to win it. cuz no one deserves love by standing still. u need to learn that if u want love, u need to give it first. also dont take it to the obsession point. cuz u know how cruel people are. anyway, just know that you are always the one you are, and you cant change it. but you can improve it.
@@Dusk_Wolfi do give love back to others if they need me I do give what people want
I don’t just sit in wait for it I give love to others
@@Dusk_WolfI do not agree with you on all points here because I it's about finding the right people who love u as u are(standstill) and love should not be earned... Because this sets u up to be a victim of narcissist as u chase a moving goal post continously trying to earn love.. Trust me I personally tried earning love my entire life and it just tore me apart instead. So I suggest seeking out people that are able to love u for who u are and loving yourself for who you are but that starts with knowing yourself
Do try starting to get to know yourself why u feel like u hate yourself.. Mybe it's outside factors that make you feel that way things u have no control over like other and life ask yourself questions like these find the answers and you'll find it has less to do with you and who u are learn separation.
And if u don't feel like u deserve love outside be that person give yourself hugs dates gifts pick yourself flowers compliment yourself show yourself compassion be your own friend... once u start understanding yourself yourself it'll be easier to love yourself..this is where I started and I no longer feel I hate myself I'm no longer unlovable because there's someone there who loves me
Everywhere u go there u are.. Either u there lovin yourself or hating but u there and u can't escape yourself build a strong foundation within yourself.... This is advice I'd have loved to hear before getting into narcissistic relationships
Might not have anything do with this subject. But isolation can and will break your soul. I don't have friends, I Beg for friends but I'm never anyone's 2nd choice, let alone 3rd. Lost online friends because they're literally inactive now, they cut me off. And the ones that say, "I'm here, I'll talk to you." Lost interest the next day. I could disappear from existence and no one would notice. All I have is myself. And I have tried this self love because no one will. Got the opposite effects now.
Wow!! Never thought like this. Thanks a lot Psych2Go 😇😇.
"The concept of love in the modern world has a lot of contradictions" This is so true! I don't mean to judge, but those in open relationships, engaging in hook-up culture, polyamory, or in OnlyFans-like content capture this perfectly. To be giving romantic love to one, even if its shallow, is by nature neglecting another that one claims to love romantically too. The modern world baffles and disturbs me as a deeply monogamous, reserved person. It seems like so many lack empathy and merely exist to fulfill their narcissistic primal urges. It's sinister. 😅
thank god
This is literally telling me to fix my broken family relationships and at this point I have no idea how to feel-
one day at a time, one step at a time
@@zakes.lizzie Hmm
Well thank you, my first step will be forgiveness.
Have a good day ^^
Suspected that for a while now
I’m curious about the author of this. Self love doesn’t exclude loving others or being loved. This is where I would turn to more spiritual discussions on the topic. I’m surprised that this wasn’t viewed from an angle of loving oneself as a means of not constantly seeking love outside of oneself to the point of falling prey to manipulative people. I would also think we need to look at codependency and some people’s constant need for external validation/love.
Some people do not live in safe environments to give or receive love. Couldn’t self love help them navigate an unsafe environment & help the person get support to help them learn to trust people after a trauma? There are sadly way too many abusive people who may or may not be conscious of their behavior. I’m very surprised Psych to Go would even talk about self love as a pathway to narcissism. That’s an actual psychological condition that seems related to past trauma, insecure personalities and projecting fake self confidence. Is narcissism really a love of self? Personally, I don’t think narcissists love themself given how they treat others.
I feel this video over emphasizes external over internal care/love. Maybe it’s a balance. We have to live with ourselves forever whether our external sources of love outlive us or not.
Some religions teach external, reciprocal love of an unseen force/deity. Perhaps that is a more acceptable way to approach self love given this author’s perspective. Technically, the physical experience of this external love exists within one’s mind. However, I understand that may be up for debate.
thanks
Self love is important. But humans are social creatures. We NEED connections with other human beeings to be happy and function.
Bold of you to assume I even love myself
Guys I think they watch me!!!every time I have a problem the same day they post about it how!!!!! I love you psych2go❤❤
Спасибо!!! Всем кто смотрит это видео дарю свою любовь❤❤❤
Didn't think about that
Narcissistic self-love isn't actually true love. It's conditional, and conditional love is a counterfeit emotion. By definition, true love is UNconditional: there are no conditions they must meet in order to 'deserve' your love. The same applies to you. You say you'll love yourself once you do this, once you achieve that, once you look like this - but that is not love. You must love yourself at your lowest or not at all, and do it right here right now. Your whole life transforms when you do. Very likely, the issues you have that make you feel like you don't deserve to love yourself yet - dissipate once you just love yourself unconditionally. It's magic.
Can you make a video on death anxiety? (day 2)
Timestamps
1). How love has changed 0:32
2). The shape of love 1:34
3). Self-love or narcissism 2:44
4). To love and to be loved 3:16
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you this was super insightful 🫶🏼
I love myself
NOT SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE!!!!
AMAZING~ 😃
I think my son is the only person left in this world that says they love me and truly means it... I have no love for mankind or people... The world made sure I will hate it forever...
Notif Squaddddd gang
So in recap. You cant live alone your entire life. There goes my set plan.
❤❤❤
Maybe it isn't related to the video but have some of you thought that if one day you had an accident that caused you to lose your memories and somehow other people can choose what kind of person you get to be. Are you gonna be afraid that you'd be lost forever, your true self lost to the image you portrayed yourself that you'd die in a sense that there will be another person in your body and it's not 'you'? Like no one truly understands you therefore you'd be gone in mind and soul to image and reputation
Ima be honest it isn’t lol no matter how much you spend alone your always gonna yearn for a partner at times even if your fully okay with being single
Nope.
❤
Damn
In my case, forget romantic/sexual love. I’ll stick with familial, platonic, pet and yes self-love thanks.
3:19 Love is a transaction - and that is why I want nothing to do with it. I don't deal in that currency.
jokes on you i never had that to begin with
nice art style
Thank you so much 😀
Ever since I came out as trans, it seems my life has gone down hill. Sure, my family and partner were horrible to me and I was constantly living a lie but sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off.
I like to challenging perspectives like this. I once thought self love and the love of others are inseparable. I thought one cannot exist without the other. I thought that if you don't love yourself, you don't fully love others as well, which I still think is true. But I also thought that if you don't love others, you don't love yourself - and this is something I now disagree. And no, I'm not referring at narcissism or anything like that, I'm referring at true self love that can exist without loving others. Bc I think I'm like that now. Not loving others does not necessarily mean hating others - for me is more like not being interested in others. And I still have empathy. I still can feel bad if someone is hurt and good if someone is happy. But while I feel connected with myself and I can confidently say that I love myself more than ever, I feel disconnected from others. I have friends but there's still something that separate me from them.
I feel like self love is the base love that makes you want to live no matter what happens, but the love for others and from others, is like a gift - that's why it feels so good
Subtitles ❤
The title😐😤🤷♀️
The video🤔💡😀
hey can anyone give me some advice, I never really loved hugs or love from others, but I actually did and still do, and I’m asking how do I stop acting cold (idk how to explain properly sorry.)
You CANNOT have Self Love withOUT Self AWARENESS. So many people say they love themselves without even KNOWING who they ARE FIRST which is how it devolves into Self Cuddling and Narcissism
1. You need to Understand who you are first ie develop Self Awareness
2. This would then make you Self Accountable since you'll understand your actions and why you do them
3. Being Accountable of your self makes you develop Self DISCIPLINE since you now hold yourself to higher a standard and know how to develop yourself into something better
4. Having discipline to do what has to be done, awards you Self RESPECT as you care about yourself enough to better your life
5. Finally you end up at Self LOVE at the VERY END of the process. Because after making the COMMITMENT to IMPROVE yourself...how can you say you dont Love Yourself?
The reason a lot of people are lost is because they START with Self Love FIRST...without putting in the ACTUAL WORK to give themselves a REASON to LOVE themselves...
Which is why so many still feel so EMPTY after practicing their SHALLOW idea of Love. And this extends waaay beyond just SELF love.
Society has COMPLETELY LOST the plot when it comes to love and what that REALLY means. Too many people are caught up in the Shallow idea of it, which explains the fundamental breakdown of relationships, from family to friends to intimate. People have NO idea where to start when it comes to loving themselves so they STRUGGLE to love others properly.
Which explains the most connected but LONELIEST generation. Everything has become TOO SUPERFICIAL
As noted in the vid humans aren't infinitely stable creatures so we'll fall short and have to revisit this process several times throughout our lives. So you WILL NEED OTHER people in your life to REMIND you of what HEALTHY LOVE feels like
I love this narrator's voice.