A Race Designed to Torture People

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,8 тис.

  • @Valefisk
    @Valefisk  2 роки тому +6029

    This one took a ludicrous amount of extra editing but i think you'll agree it was worth it. Doesn't help that I had to learn After Effects while I had covid either.
    I might also make an extra q&a video on the second channel to talk about the weird world of MCC theater files. I need to rant.

    • @rue6722
      @rue6722 2 роки тому +38

      nerd

    • @LazerShark7777
      @LazerShark7777 2 роки тому +36

      Mcc is notorious for being the 6th circle of hell

    • @zarrg5611
      @zarrg5611 2 роки тому +18

      Learning after effects while sick with covid kind of sounds like a poor man's 2001 black monolith sequence.

    • @fidd0042
      @fidd0042 2 роки тому +9

      Glad your alive

    • @Tyger0312
      @Tyger0312 2 роки тому +15

      I've been waiting mr Fisk
      I missed the event but still beat the map. You will pay for my missed time

  • @Zadrias6386
    @Zadrias6386 2 роки тому +5520

    Just that one guy that went “oh no” when vale said “one lap” knew immediately that he signed up for a torture game…

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 2 роки тому +219

      I assume most of the other players either realized it and kept quiet, or guessed what they were getting into ahead of times.

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE Рік тому +6

      E‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

    • @juliancalero8012
      @juliancalero8012 Рік тому +6

      @@EEEEEEEE E

    • @ionescustefan295
      @ionescustefan295 Рік тому +6

      his canon event

  • @yeah8767
    @yeah8767 2 роки тому +2161

    I’d like to imagine that Mr. Joe actually believed that someone could complete 3 full laps without going absolutely insane

    • @JoeCuddlefish
      @JoeCuddlefish 2 роки тому +291

      This was not the gamemode I designed for the mode. Someone took my map and added their own :(.

    • @33screamingfrogs34
      @33screamingfrogs34 2 роки тому +49

      @@JoeCuddlefish you are joe????

    • @33screamingfrogs34
      @33screamingfrogs34 2 роки тому +58

      @@JoeCuddlefish OH MY GOD IT IS JOE!!

    • @JoeCuddlefish
      @JoeCuddlefish 2 роки тому +85

      @@33screamingfrogs34 Yessir I am.

    • @lupression4457
      @lupression4457 2 роки тому +17

      @@JoeCuddlefish what do you mean? What happened?

  • @killerfrog0074
    @killerfrog0074 2 роки тому +4961

    Can't wait for vale to out source the creation of torture devices under the guise of a game jam

  • @january0th
    @january0th 2 роки тому +807

    Rat stages of grief:
    16:44 Anger
    19:09 More anger
    21:03 Denial, depression and more anger
    23:40 Bargaining
    27:20 More depression and more anger
    28:50 (Same rat radio as before) First acceptance
    31:30 Me trying to assist the rats and more anger
    35:15 Delusions, denial, acceptance, bargaining and more anger
    37:45 Denial, some realization of what a monster Joe is and more anger
    42:05 Catharsis by rejecting Candy's offer to bargain but still with more anger
    42:31 (Same rat Radio) Teddy's fast food order
    45:37 Denial, Extreme Depression, more catharsis and more anger
    51:05 Acceptance and embracing their loss and the sweet pain of Joe
    52:00 Relive by inflicting pain to their captor with more depression and anger
    52:38 Pope manage to go pas 32 and finally seeing a glimpse of hope
    Vale bargaining with Candy and more rat revenge
    54:15 Candy's payment and more anger
    55:24 The game was rigged from the start by the reveal of vale addiction to Joepium to them, and more anger
    56:30 Rats trying to stop the inevitable
    57:05 Vale is rapidly approaching your location
    58:20 Long live the King and acceptance

  • @K3end0
    @K3end0 2 роки тому +8155

    i love the idea joe made such a complex course it literally took him days if not weeks to create, yet made it so hard hes likely either barely played the map or hes spent genuinely hundreds of hours becoming its master

    • @LieRenThePope
      @LieRenThePope 2 роки тому +567

      joe is the true joe of our time.

    • @sirshotty7689
      @sirshotty7689 2 роки тому +496

      @@LieRenThePope the best part was when he said “it’s joeing time!” Then he proceeded to joe.

    • @bringurownvibe
      @bringurownvibe 2 роки тому +50

      @@LieRenThePope Joe who?

    • @LieRenThePope
      @LieRenThePope 2 роки тому +136

      @@bringurownvibe joe m. joe. middle name mama.

    • @MrMazaing
      @MrMazaing 2 роки тому +48

      @@LieRenThePope The one true Joe to rule them all

  • @do-nothingbear9474
    @do-nothingbear9474 2 роки тому +303

    28:14 at that moment, I could genuinely feel the inner turmoil of vale experiencing empathy for a friend for the first time in his life

  • @maivioz
    @maivioz 2 роки тому +5245

    i was mentally checked out at the end of this, and i may never recover.

    • @the-letter_s
      @the-letter_s 2 роки тому +263

      the receptionist at the check-in desk of your psyche was shot dead in a drive-by

    • @EliteBladesGaming
      @EliteBladesGaming 2 роки тому +211

      I feel like if you cited this video in a psychiatric evaluation you'd be put in a straight jacket

    • @durgun8247
      @durgun8247 2 роки тому +12

      abrasive

    • @TheRedKing247
      @TheRedKing247 2 роки тому +62

      Do we need to stage an intervention so we can get you away from that monster Vale?

    • @user-gs9qy8yn7n
      @user-gs9qy8yn7n 2 роки тому +9

      mommy

  • @swifter46ter
    @swifter46ter 2 роки тому +2187

    $500 challenge: Make JOE 2, just delete all the checkpoints. First person to record themselves finishing a lap without falling wins.

    • @oVoidhawko
      @oVoidhawko 2 роки тому +182

      You're sick!
      I love it.

    • @gmtom19
      @gmtom19 2 роки тому +112

      Moist Critical challenge part 2

    • @llab3903
      @llab3903 2 роки тому +23

      I’ll chip in 100

    • @uberlephrad8218
      @uberlephrad8218 2 роки тому +11

      I'd do this if I had halo lol

    • @JuliusCaesar2005
      @JuliusCaesar2005 Рік тому +68

      500$ is NOT enough for the genuine hell that would be 😭

  • @LieRenThePope
    @LieRenThePope 2 роки тому +4821

    was it painful? oh absolutely.
    but not as painful as being blocked in that maze by Solll for 5-10 minutes.

    • @nearlyabsolutelybonkers
      @nearlyabsolutelybonkers 2 роки тому +374

      It was painful, but having you at 200% volume made it just that much better

    • @Solll0
      @Solll0 2 роки тому +368

      You know it

    • @bakerboat4572
      @bakerboat4572 2 роки тому +253

      @@Solll0 Brave to be showing your face so soon

    • @gold664
      @gold664 2 роки тому +78

      Your struggle against Vale at the end was the highlight, good man

    • @LieRenThePope
      @LieRenThePope 2 роки тому +122

      @@gold664 thank you, but i wasn't strong enough to beat him. next time... if there is

  • @thenotoriouskoj
    @thenotoriouskoj 2 роки тому +667

    35:17 “Candy, you’re a dead man.” He said calmly.

  • @512TheWolf512
    @512TheWolf512 2 роки тому +10912

    The mere fact that this course is ACTUALLY doable, means that Joe mongoose is either absolutely insane, or the biggest genius in the entire halo community. Can you imagine how many hours it took him to test all of it and make sure it is? Unreal

  • @timothymclean
    @timothymclean 2 роки тому +147

    10:35: As soon as the rats heard that the goal was something simple, at _least_ one of them recognized that they had agreed to record a torture video. Oh no indeed!
    I am _shocked_ that this game didn't devolve into gunfire more often!

  • @nearlyabsolutelybonkers
    @nearlyabsolutelybonkers 2 роки тому +3856

    Staying up for 2 days straight before Joe really enhanced the entire experience. Still waiting to get back at Candy for the riddles too

    • @shuvelstone1331
      @shuvelstone1331 2 роки тому +47

      Ouch dude... 2 days?

    • @nearlyabsolutelybonkers
      @nearlyabsolutelybonkers 2 роки тому +200

      @@shuvelstone1331 2 days and had never played Halo in my life before 😳

    • @Banana-Boi
      @Banana-Boi 2 роки тому +45

      @@nearlyabsolutelybonkers Quite bonkers.

    • @shuvelstone1331
      @shuvelstone1331 2 роки тому +18

      @@nearlyabsolutelybonkers ouchhhhhh... i feel bad for you dude.

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE Рік тому +1

      E‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

  • @nicorozner7417
    @nicorozner7417 2 роки тому +66

    Vale reminds me of that serial killer from the Saw movies. He traps random people in cruel and often extremely painful death gauntlets and then watches as they experience limitless agony with the end goal of "making them appreciate their lives more."
    I gotta tell you, after watching this video I have a whole new appreciation for casual single player gaming experiences.

  • @M0123-j6i
    @M0123-j6i 2 роки тому +9504

    Don't get the wrong impression from this video, Joe's Mongoose Parkour is hell. Play it at your own risk. Do not overdose on JOEpium. Good luck.

  • @nashvontookus7451
    @nashvontookus7451 2 роки тому +743

    Whoever Joe is, he has infinite knowledge and we should fear him.

  • @duncanwarrior99
    @duncanwarrior99 2 роки тому +2286

    As a person who completed Joe without knowing anything about it it was PAIN, took just under 7hrs to do. Mad respect for getting 16 people in to do it :)

    • @funnytoaster3256
      @funnytoaster3256 2 роки тому +81

      i have more respect for the 6 people playing until the end
      even more respect for the 2 in that 6 who tried finishing it

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE Рік тому +4

      E‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

  • @GreyValkrie
    @GreyValkrie 2 роки тому +992

    Ohhhhh shit I remember being on this project! I was friends with the team who initially made this map on Reach! I think we all met through a Forge focused forum, and exchanged GTs through it, but that was almost a decade ago, I guess someone ported it over to MCC cause like 90% of the people who made this are all no longer active Halo players. I helped make the first section, and in the original I made that dong with blue balls cause I thought it was funnier. Cause the map is basically CBT.
    I also tested on the hangar section we spent like 6 hours alone designing and testing the first jumps so they were possible but tough.
    Glad to see it still alive and well! So surreal seeing the map in 2022!

    • @absoultethings4213
      @absoultethings4213 2 роки тому +28

      do you feel bad?

    • @TwistedFireX
      @TwistedFireX 2 роки тому +61

      Damn, Vale didn’t even reply to you and thank you for the free content.

    • @noel_21
      @noel_21 2 роки тому +33

      Joe mongoose parkour is hosted on MCC a couple days every week now

    • @JoeCuddlefish
      @JoeCuddlefish 2 роки тому +88

      @@33screamingfrogs34 You are correct. And no, no one helped me with the map lol. Hopefully I'll get around to posting my video soon. I've been working on getting my Parkour Infinite video out first, which will be out any day now...

    • @zoidsfan12
      @zoidsfan12 2 роки тому +21

      When I saw the interior at the start of the video I recognized it. I remember our clan trying to beat this thing for a whole day. Seeing that rock in the center immediately brought back the memories. Super weird to see a decade old map like this suddenly be part of the zeitgeist.

  • @BobertJoe
    @BobertJoe 2 роки тому +6791

    I like that the trolls are listed above the rats, to show their hierarchical superiority. Because choosing to ruin it for everyone is a much more sane option than actually trying to compete

    • @LieRenThePope
      @LieRenThePope 2 роки тому +376

      to be fair, the trolls are all insects anyways. they'd be higher than us rats no matter what.

    • @mihailmilev9909
      @mihailmilev9909 2 роки тому +38

      @@LieRenThePope what

    • @igunn8632
      @igunn8632 2 роки тому +189

      @@mihailmilev9909 the trolls are all insects anyways, they'd be higher then us rats no matter what

    • @lunalesombras1150
      @lunalesombras1150 2 роки тому +58

      @@igunn8632 what

    • @Auriacularia
      @Auriacularia 2 роки тому +124

      @@lunalesombras1150 the trolls are all insects anyways, they'd be higher then us rats no matter what

  • @Snapper_
    @Snapper_ Рік тому +115

    as it's almost been 12 months I expect the second annual Joe mongoose grand prix

    • @Zaiqahal
      @Zaiqahal Рік тому +4

      If it does happen, I would hope it's not the same map. The mongoose parkour community has grown a lot since then.

  • @Solll0
    @Solll0 2 роки тому +2655

    Personaly, this feels like a win.

    • @LieRenThePope
      @LieRenThePope 2 роки тому +161

      still no trading card for you.

    • @nearlyabsolutelybonkers
      @nearlyabsolutelybonkers 2 роки тому +86

      It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole peoples chance of winning joe. You bumped into multiple contestants who now have to be taken care of, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!

    • @jokerknarkern
      @jokerknarkern 2 роки тому +2

      vant brunosten

    • @LtSprinkulz
      @LtSprinkulz 2 роки тому +5

      🤡🤓

    • @Ghostrecall_M
      @Ghostrecall_M Рік тому +4

      @@nearlyabsolutelybonkershe truely collected and absorded thier misery turning it into power.

  • @lemonnitrate3050
    @lemonnitrate3050 2 роки тому +81

    28:46 First recorded instance of Vale having empathy

  • @krullachief669
    @krullachief669 2 роки тому +537

    "Why do you force us to do this?"
    "It's great for my youtube analytics."
    "That's fair."

    • @LieRenThePope
      @LieRenThePope 2 роки тому +46

      it's true, it was on the contract that we signed- i mean explained to us in our little rat cage

    • @nickpapadopoulos9978
      @nickpapadopoulos9978 2 роки тому +2

      @@LieRenThePope 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @healthcaredotgov3097
    @healthcaredotgov3097 2 роки тому +47

    I love how you handled the course introduction, it's like a guide giving a go-over on a high-level ski run. Everything is named like a ski hill too, which makes it even better.

  • @lukaskubik4698
    @lukaskubik4698 2 роки тому +747

    Like the city in Monsters Inc. ran on fear, Valefisks home runs on the suffering of his "friends".

  • @emmasochist
    @emmasochist 2 роки тому +58

    After the trolls allowing Vale in front of them at Crouch and then not having to deal with them for the rest of his course, that grenade at Shields knocking Vale off was very cathartic.

  • @LazerShark7777
    @LazerShark7777 2 роки тому +1481

    This video makes me look like a deranged psychopath, when in truth I am simply a psychopath (defamation smh)

    • @acrostle
      @acrostle 2 роки тому +24

      hi lazer

    • @fanof5950
      @fanof5950 2 роки тому +8

      Hello lazer

    • @nearlyabsolutelybonkers
      @nearlyabsolutelybonkers 2 роки тому +39

      hello mr lazershark (formerly once known as LazerJack, and multiple other aliases)

    • @LazerShark7777
      @LazerShark7777 2 роки тому +47

      @@nearlyabsolutelybonkers so true

    • @FuraFaolox
      @FuraFaolox 2 роки тому +3

      Salutations LazerShark

  • @lucasahumada6913
    @lucasahumada6913 2 роки тому +28

    Candy and lazer just give off the whole “he’s just standing there,menacingly” vibes when candy mentions the joker origin story

  • @Bruno-ec8ft
    @Bruno-ec8ft 2 роки тому +376

    Honestly impressed by the solidarity of some of the patreon player doing their best to stop Vale from advancing on his second lap.
    If they are stuck, so is he.

  • @__-yu8vi
    @__-yu8vi 2 роки тому +40

    45:55
    "I come from a mine, and I'm surrounded by wood always"
    Door hinge. Could also be coal or canary.

    • @misfire33
      @misfire33 2 роки тому +10

      Graphite for a pencil?

    • @ImNotFine44
      @ImNotFine44 2 роки тому +1

      Human babies

    • @BierBart12
      @BierBart12 5 місяців тому

      Me meeting the bros right after closing Minecraft

  • @olimara1647
    @olimara1647 2 роки тому +3934

    Vale really has cornered the small but loyal corner of UA-cam dedicated to "Cruel and unusual punishments"

    • @BalrogQuote
      @BalrogQuote 2 роки тому +110

      Less of a punishment, more just for the heck of it. And that's clearly more entertaining.

    • @redcrown5154
      @redcrown5154 2 роки тому

      you will never be a woman

    • @PointsofData
      @PointsofData 2 роки тому +80

      @@BalrogQuote cruel and unusual torture*

    • @8-bitalex215
      @8-bitalex215 2 роки тому +37

      Vale and Alpharad are masters in their craft

    • @PointsofData
      @PointsofData 2 роки тому +67

      @@8-bitalex215 alpharad is in it for the memes
      Vale is just a sadist
      But that would be wild for them to team up

  • @ivyswhatever2869
    @ivyswhatever2869 2 роки тому +27

    I love how HALFWAY through the video he's at 45/50 checkpoints

  • @arichansen8527
    @arichansen8527 2 роки тому +603

    This brings a whole new definition to “Endurance Racing”

    • @nearlyabsolutelybonkers
      @nearlyabsolutelybonkers 2 роки тому +35

      I'm sure next years annual Joe will be 24 Hours of Le Joe

    • @Eric_Pham
      @Eric_Pham 2 роки тому +11

      Tour de joé

    • @drmaulana2600
      @drmaulana2600 2 роки тому +14

      @@nearlyabsolutelybonkers also you gotta won annual Joe Gran Prix and Joey 500 to got the most prestigious award, The Triple Joe Crown

  • @Fireworker2K
    @Fireworker2K 2 роки тому +48

    Respect to Maivi for trying to achieve the last check point for two and a half hours.

  • @FlamingLily
    @FlamingLily 2 роки тому +32

    Valefisk is eventually going to release "I made a REAL torture chamber" in the thrilling climax of his career

  • @killer25014
    @killer25014 2 роки тому +641

    Well this was a trip down memory lane. I completely forgot how painful this map was. It took fucking *forever* to memorize the whole thing, let alone get through it without ever messing up. Or getting tripped up by friends (which led to a lot of roasting lol). A great mongoose race map. 12/10. Would never play again

    • @DTinkerer
      @DTinkerer 2 роки тому +2

      How!?

    • @killer25014
      @killer25014 2 роки тому +51

      @@DTinkerer When you're young and don't have a lot going on, you have plenty of time for just about anything. And the difficulty of a map like this honestly doesn't lie in remembering where everything is (but god does it help). It's keeping yourself focused enough to maintain a sense of momentum throughout the whole thing. You stop moving, well, you kinda set yourself up for failure.

    • @jamiekennedy1228
      @jamiekennedy1228 2 роки тому

      Wait... half of these items were only available in the newer MCC forge updates that weren't even released that long ago... sure you don't mean another race? 🤔 I'm lost

    • @killer25014
      @killer25014 2 роки тому +14

      @@jamiekennedy1228 No? I can't vouch for MCC, since I don't really play it, but all of the items featured in this race were already present in Halo: Reach's forge upon release back in 2010. The map's old my guy (like, 2013 old), this ain't new.

    • @jamiekennedy1228
      @jamiekennedy1228 2 роки тому +1

      @@killer25014 i played more than 1000 hours of halo reach my dude. That ain't accurate I'm afraid as you 100% cannot place spirit dropships and Phantoms in OG forge, as well as some other items in the video 😅😅😊

  • @LiarraSniffles_X3
    @LiarraSniffles_X3 2 роки тому +15

    I'd just like to say: I absolutely love the -torture- large, collaborative projects that you and your friends go through. Something about a bunch of a friends going on a digital road-trip is endlessly enjoyable to me.

  • @Hatman_Hans
    @Hatman_Hans 2 роки тому +136

    I think the feather that breaks the rat’s back is probably the respawn time being 3 seconds.

  • @EnergyBurst2
    @EnergyBurst2 2 роки тому +21

    Props to Mo and Snooperman for entering the hall of a lap of Joe after the event.

  • @Not_actually_a_commie
    @Not_actually_a_commie 2 роки тому +168

    I don't think I can ever feel sympathy for Candy or Soll ever again after this

  • @ilikespagett1514
    @ilikespagett1514 Рік тому +9

    *look at score*
    "Oh cool only 6 corners left, they've nearly made it yet*
    *check video length*
    *not even halfway*

  • @DrippinginSarcasm
    @DrippinginSarcasm 2 роки тому +93

    If I got stuck behind one of those trolls you'd never want to have a fan meet up, because you'd have a death on your hands.

  • @Captain00Chaos
    @Captain00Chaos 3 місяці тому +2

    I remember doing courses like this back on the OG Reach on 360. So many hours lost to nonsense. Good to see people still taking time to create the most heinous maps around.

  • @FletcherGaddy
    @FletcherGaddy 2 роки тому +46

    Tabletop simulator puzzles let you upload video files for the background, and the piece layouts are always consistent. I’m working on a way too complex jigsaw puzzle that occasionally swaps around pieces, messes with the background, and drives the player insane. Seems like something you’d be interested in

  • @Laeshen
    @Laeshen 2 роки тому +21

    "have you played joe mongoose" will now be a PTSD trigger for a few brave souls

  • @GhostOfSnuffles
    @GhostOfSnuffles 2 роки тому +109

    The sheer fact that course can be completed makes Joe one of those people who straddle the line between genius and insanity.

  • @fast-yi9js
    @fast-yi9js 2 роки тому +7

    11:04 almost choked me with a drink.
    It hurts, and I am crying. Good job.

  • @Zachafinackus
    @Zachafinackus 2 роки тому +175

    Oh wow, this is like a mongoose version of Schadenfreude (a famous on foot parkour map for Reach).

  • @HyperK7
    @HyperK7 2 роки тому +9

    Unsurprisingly for a race video, there’s an F1 style interface/leaderboard with a 3 tiered World Endurance style categorization, complete with the fast as fuck Hypercars, messing with everyone LMPs and just trying to survive GTEs.
    Edit: Meanwhile the entire race is just the most difficult Rally ever with every racer on simultaneously.

  • @namedindividual3131
    @namedindividual3131 2 роки тому +228

    Gotta love the sound of *literal screaming* in a Discord call.

    • @Tufhhuyy
      @Tufhhuyy 2 роки тому +2

      It really is the best thing to hear, you always know something's going down

    • @friedmandesigns
      @friedmandesigns Рік тому +8

      As opposed to 'metaphorical screaming' ??

  • @sigh9257
    @sigh9257 10 місяців тому +13

    Creators name on yt is Joe Cuddlefish and he really is just unbelievably cracked at Mongoose - he’s beat it in under 30 minutes

    • @TickleMeTner
      @TickleMeTner 9 місяців тому +3

      he recently played an almost sub 20 run. but he choked at the last level

    • @JoeCuddlefish
      @JoeCuddlefish 2 місяці тому +5

      👋

  • @lasagne4536
    @lasagne4536 2 роки тому +208

    I killed Vale, that's enough of a win for me.

  • @Kaz00mi_
    @Kaz00mi_ 6 місяців тому +3

    This was in my autoplay, and I was like
    "Oh, it's a valefisk video, neat!"
    Then I realized that it was *this* video,
    the first video I watched of valefisk's
    I wanna say tragic? I do not know why, but I will
    Tragic.

  • @bobbilly3606
    @bobbilly3606 2 роки тому +113

    Im dissapointed that when asked what second place gets vale didnt respond "a sense of pride and satisfaction"

    • @LieRenThePope
      @LieRenThePope 2 роки тому +26

      or a sense of pride and accomplishment

  • @sgador
    @sgador 11 місяців тому +20

    2023 has almost ended where is the 2nd Annual Joe Mongoose Race

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 2 місяці тому +1

      We've missed the second _and_ the third. Hopefully the fourth is even better to compensate. Maybe they'll do all three laps this time?

    • @sgador
      @sgador 2 місяці тому +1

      @@timothymclean we must believe brother 3rd times the charm!

  • @mdioxd9200
    @mdioxd9200 2 роки тому +282

    Remember when valefisk made funny stuff ?
    Yeah now he's doing the same but AT THE COST OF OTHER'S MENTAL HEALTH 👁️👁️

    • @deamongimli
      @deamongimli 2 роки тому +29

      Yes. Soon we shall escalate to Vale committing literal, actual, honest to god warcrimes IRL.

    • @mdioxd9200
      @mdioxd9200 2 роки тому

      @@Guardian-of-Light137 would be fun to see him make hats out his own friends 👁️👁️

    • @uncroppedsoop
      @uncroppedsoop 2 роки тому +16

      @Just Vibing yeah but it's their decision to keep going. They lose absolutely nothing if they quit. They're not forced, just going in blind, and honestly you should expect something like this if you're going up on a Valefisk video

    • @jgblkshot8375
      @jgblkshot8375 2 роки тому +3

      @Just Vibing Cope seethe mald Cope seethe mald COPESEETHEMALD COPESEETHEMALD COPESEETHEMALD-

    • @rhysjonsmusic
      @rhysjonsmusic 2 роки тому +6

      Dudes gonna put someone in a reverse bear trap for content

  • @powerhousejp
    @powerhousejp 2 роки тому +5

    I used to do these kinds of "races" in Trackmania YEARS ago. You say torture, but beating one of them within the time limit was soooo satisfying.

  • @imperialfist2304
    @imperialfist2304 2 роки тому +176

    I’m very certain that if The Hague catches wind of Vale’s doings he will get life in prison for repeated violations of human rights.

  • @krameht
    @krameht 2 роки тому +2

    I like the term "Vertical Wall", thanks for the clarification that it wasn't a horizontal wall or in layman's terms "floors"

  • @greenhoppop
    @greenhoppop 2 роки тому +32

    I thought “it can’t be that hard” but after 30 minutes of the Hangar it’s impossible

  • @NapalmNarcissus
    @NapalmNarcissus 2 роки тому +7

    Seeing everyone genuinely check out mentally and emotionally was... Very fun.

  • @vneezy
    @vneezy 2 роки тому +91

    I love the editing, legit burst out laughing when you first showed the rat radio with the F1 graphics.

    • @AdamSandal83
      @AdamSandal83 2 роки тому +9

      Those guys were clearly on a Ferrari strategy.

    • @michaelbrunner6951
      @michaelbrunner6951 2 роки тому +1

      @@AdamSandal83 bro I thought the same thing lmao

  • @snorp6781
    @snorp6781 Рік тому +9

    VALE IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR
    YOU STILL OWE US ANOTHER JOE VIDEO

  • @GreyKnightsVenerable
    @GreyKnightsVenerable 2 роки тому +20

    Joe should’ve made it so that failure at the last jump teleports you back to the beginning.

  • @pignebula123
    @pignebula123 2 роки тому +12

    Hey Vale, wonderful torture here. I managed to con my friend into being tortured by Crypt for 35 minutes. I now have more torture material, much thanks.

  • @LorenzoConti1
    @LorenzoConti1 2 роки тому +58

    These videos are legit well made and it's easy to notice the time and effort you put into them... even for people who prefer shorter videos like me, watching you is always fun and entertaining. Great work keep it up

  • @Pundae
    @Pundae 2 роки тому +6

    I love how I can see "torture" in the title and immediately think "oh hey, a new valefisk video"
    And be right

  • @Legion617
    @Legion617 2 роки тому +154

    As much as I love Vale and the crew, this is the exact reason I will never join any of his shenanigan torture devices.
    F to the poor bastards who had no idea what they were getting into.

    • @Spoilt8920
      @Spoilt8920 2 роки тому +20

      I mean it wouldnt have been as bad if they were actually just given a chance to try and not have people there trying to purposely ruin the experience. I just don't get that part at all

    • @justsomeone1073
      @justsomeone1073 2 роки тому +14

      @@Spoilt8920 Agreed. I wish the rat group was given a chance to actually complete it rather than not only having no experience with the map, but also having people with the sole purpose of screwing them over in the game.

    • @BrawnyStream
      @BrawnyStream 2 роки тому +6

      @@Spoilt8920 it’s valefisk the only purpose he needs for anything is to maximize suffering. If ANY of the rats had fun he would have failed, so the trolls are the real hero’s here.

  • @mik_an
    @mik_an 5 місяців тому +1

    This video has become my comfort video and I don’t want to think about the implications of that. I’ve watched this maybe… 10? 20? times in the past year. I cook to it, I study to it, I’ve slept to it once. I think I’ve unintentionally memorized the transcript ;-; send help

    • @reverendnon5959
      @reverendnon5959 4 місяці тому

      Wait, I thought I was the only one, I thought I was weird. Well, I guess I'm still weird, bit not the only one

  • @onetrickgirl
    @onetrickgirl 2 роки тому +126

    Vale I think your giving people an unhealthy addiction to torture.

  • @k00patr00pa101
    @k00patr00pa101 2 роки тому +7

    Well, this got me to reinstall MCC.
    First Day: 5.5 hours, got to corner 31.
    I'll update as I go.

  • @BasedWindex
    @BasedWindex 2 роки тому +62

    "You only got that far because you didn't get caught on the balls"
    -Valefisk, 2022

  • @InsertNameHereJ
    @InsertNameHereJ 2 роки тому +149

    This one feels a bit less fun tbh. In the previous videos the primary antagonist was the game itself and everyone was on the same playing field. In this one, about half the players are held back by a few people being dicks. They don't even really get to battle the map itself. I just end up feeling really bad for them instead of laughing at them.

    • @tsrenis
      @tsrenis 2 роки тому +17

      nah it's funny

    • @jacknesbitt240
      @jacknesbitt240 2 роки тому +9

      They weren't forced to play 😂

    • @BrawnyStream
      @BrawnyStream 2 роки тому

      Do you think the purpose of Valefisks videos is for people to have fun…like where does he give that inclination. Valfisk is an escaped Nazi experiment whose sole purpose is to create maximum suffering on all who interact with him. He is a dementor feeding off the hopes and dreams of the innocents.
      Fun…was never an option.

  • @DomFP3
    @DomFP3 2 роки тому +133

    It brings me great joy to see the near six hours we put into Joe originally amount to this
    All the pain and suffering we spent together was worth it, for I now get to watch a bunch of randoms suffer my same fate

  • @Iampaztro
    @Iampaztro 2 роки тому +17

    42:00 literally the funniest moment of the whole video

    • @friedmandesigns
      @friedmandesigns Рік тому

      Subjectively and metaphorically, perhaps. Not literally. ;)

  • @mashmachine4087
    @mashmachine4087 2 роки тому +27

    This has got to be one of my favourite channels now, and I literally just discovered it. I just wish I could tell everyone's voices apart better...

  • @josephschultz3301
    @josephschultz3301 Рік тому +6

    The idea that an almost impossible (without excessive practice) race requires trolls to make it _more_ impossible is just hilariously insulting xD

  • @Android_ELITE
    @Android_ELITE 2 роки тому +67

    I feel like I passed some kind of sanity test by getting on the patreon for one month, paying extra, and then leaving to never return

  • @oinkymomo
    @oinkymomo Рік тому +15

    if this was the first annual, whens the next

    • @Zaiqahal
      @Zaiqahal Рік тому

      Technically it already happened. He just didn't upload a video about it.

  • @villinousvagabon8417
    @villinousvagabon8417 2 роки тому +11

    if i was invited to this id tell you to stick that 50 where the sun dont shine then just go into spectator and cast the race

  • @boozamnboozamnin6816
    @boozamnboozamnin6816 2 роки тому +5

    I feel like it would have been a better showing if the other players weren't stuck in a crouch maze or similar situations with literally nothing they could do to progress for so long.

  • @sefii05
    @sefii05 2 роки тому +26

    Joe had to test this course to make sure you're actually able to finish it, let that sink

    • @JoeCuddlefish
      @JoeCuddlefish 2 роки тому +8

      Yes, ive spent roughly 200 hours forging and playtesting the map haha.

  • @eternalmiasma5586
    @eternalmiasma5586 2 роки тому +7

    In the last 30 minutes, Joe Mongoose should have spawned and raced everyone

  • @weirdtyrant6274
    @weirdtyrant6274 2 роки тому +20

    20:46 Glad to see that even Valefisk and his friends recognize the awfulness of the Halo TV show.

  • @matthewjames7509
    @matthewjames7509 10 місяців тому +5

    Waiting for the the second annual Joes mongoose race

  • @danielbarry63415
    @danielbarry63415 2 роки тому +110

    Ah yes, the greatest game engine for racing. Floaty Halo Reach vehicles !
    Joking aside I loved mongoose racing on this game

  • @queenchaosyet
    @queenchaosyet 2 роки тому +7

    You don’t play Joe’s mongoose parkour race, Joe’s mongoose parkour race plays you.

  • @vitriolicAmaranth
    @vitriolicAmaranth 2 роки тому +13

    "Your goal is to do just one lap, that's it"
    "Oh no."

  • @stracky2
    @stracky2 Рік тому +2

    Music is Symphony 48 by Haydn, in case anyone else was wondering

  • @Bone_Incidents
    @Bone_Incidents 2 роки тому +57

    9:26 is where it actually starts if you don’t care about the course or if you already know about it

  • @Faolan_Grey
    @Faolan_Grey 2 роки тому +8

    "Mom can we get trials fusion?"
    "No... We have trials fusion at home."
    Trials fusion at home:

  • @TheAstrobiologistOW
    @TheAstrobiologistOW 2 роки тому +48

    Holy shit the memories. Halo Reach and 4 were my childhood and I remember doing stuff like this all the time with my friends

  • @filin_-vn4fj
    @filin_-vn4fj Рік тому +29

    VALE
    VALE WHERE IS THIS YEAR'S MONGOOSE RACE

    • @Zaiqahal
      @Zaiqahal Рік тому +1

      Technically it already happened. He just didn't upload a video about it.

    • @thedeadlysquidward1641
      @thedeadlysquidward1641 6 місяців тому +1

      Did it actually

  • @tortoni0490
    @tortoni0490 2 роки тому +12

    Vale should make a new torture board game with chances of having the joe mongoose race, rigged geo guesser and insane monopoly from cards you may draw.

  • @baz5042
    @baz5042 2 роки тому +8

    Torturing you own followers (this is clearly some kind of cult) for you own entertainment is commendable move Vale.

  • @HekateMGO
    @HekateMGO 2 роки тому +108

    I have no idea who Joe is, but he's a monster and I love him.

  • @nathansmith4030
    @nathansmith4030 2 роки тому +2

    This is a blast from the past. I remember spending 5-6 hours to beat this one with my frenemies

  • @grit1
    @grit1 2 роки тому +100

    The trolls where they were doing something to actively disrupt a player was funny.
    Passive "haha I block you and you can't move me" was grade F shit tier trolling and was boring after the first minute of it

    • @vhdiggsd7576
      @vhdiggsd7576 2 роки тому +20

      The riddle shit was very funny, the getting stuck in 2 was not

  • @Fury614
    @Fury614 2 роки тому +5

    I played this because of this video, and I could not mentally take anymore after doing 39 for over an hour without getting close more than once
    10/10 I will mentally breakdown if I ever see a mongoose again