I wondered if you had seen the show The Orville? If so, do you have any thoughts on the Moclan storylines? The Orville is similar to Star Trek, the creator (Seth McFarlane) is a big trek fan. The Moclans are a race similar to the Klingons who, so far as everyone is aware, are all male. As the series progresses we discover that a small proportion of Moclans are born female but are surgically altered to appear male (referred to in show as “corrective surgery”) whilst still babies, and that at least one Moclan female did not have this surgery so had to live in hiding for most of her life, incidentally becoming one of the highest regarded writers of the society. Later we discover that the proportion of Moclans born female is much higher than the government admits and that there has been a network of ships evacuating them to a hidden exclave. In the latest episode, “A Tale of Two Topas” a Moclan who was born female (technically hatched female, Moclans lay eggs) and forcibly altered in season 1 (against the wishes of one of her parents) is having body issues, discovers that she was born female and with great difficulty gets the alteration reversed. This continuing story, threaded through the other stories, feels like it’s addressing the LGBT+ issues by effectively reversing them.
I’m genderfluid and my parents named me Quinn! I’m glad they went with a gender neutral name for me because I’ve always liked it and felt comfortable with it
I just commented that this is the most beautiful gender neutral name I now. ^^ I feel like the fact that it starts with a Q makes it even more special since there aren't that many names that start with Q.
I'm a cis woman with a more masculine style and short hair. Yesterday I was misgendered for the first time, and it was very dysphoric. It gave me a new understanding and respect for trans persons, I can't imagine feeling like that on top of struggling with your own internal questions. Thank you for sharing!
yes when I was 13 or 14 and in college (I am in NZ) and went through a stage of having a short hair and I preferred to wear pants (still do prefer pants)and I had other students calling me boy which really upset me because I am a girl . I have a trans son and lately without even him mentioning his gender people have used he/him pronouns which makes him really happy
Huh. Also short haired cis lesbian here but I almost like being mistaken for a dude... Because I always would've liked it if I was worthy like a man. I got rejected from enlistment for bad eyes and having broken my knee as a kid, so I can't really prove that I'm a full human being, so I'm stuck with being a woman 🤷🏻
Ikr. Like there’s this one Discord that kept calling me a he and him and a guy even though I had Pronouns In Bio and said over and over again that I’m a Cis woman, complete with an organic (?) vagina, and I’m that “hands on the hips upset man” meme
Living proof here of “never too late”: I just turned 61. While I’ve been out as queer since my late 20s, and have known there was more up with me since childhood, just didn’t have the words or understanding for it… I finally figured out a few years ago that I’m genderqueer/nb/transmasc and less than a year ago changed my name and pronouns and came out to most of the people I know and my health care providers. Yes, it can take a while… but it’s just as liberating at 60 as at 16! (And the first person I came out to was my teenage trans grandson! 🏳️⚧️💛🤍💜🖤)
That's awesome! I turned 30 this year and also have only recently realized I'm nonbinary thanks to my high school students introducing me to the trans world. I was raised Catholic so I suppressed a lot and didn't really understand or know anyone who was trans, but after two of my students came out I wanted to learn more to support them and I ended up learning a lot more than I expected! I think those students taught me more than I ever taught them, and I thanked them for that when they graduated this past year.
Oh my gosh, you're such an icon! So happy you found your true self and that you felt able to come out too. I hope you're enjoying your newfound gender identity :)))
"I think lgbt people are just drawn to everything in the colors of their flag" Me, demisexual, who's entire apartment is in the color scheme of black, white, grey and purple: 8] I came here to have a good time not to be CALLED OUT
Hahaha finally something I relate to, thank you 😊 😁 The other week my friend was wearing a dark purple sweatshirt and grey polo with black buttons, and I was like, “wait… your outfit looks like the ace flag bro!” He didn’t know what ace was, I guess I still have some educating to do, but a pleasantly surprising number of people I know are very clued up 💜🤍🖤
Yup! Right now I'm wearing a pink and white shirt with blue shorts and white socks. Also I love the purple and yellow and shades of black, white, and grey.
"If I had a 'gender slider' like in video game character creators and I could change it whenever I wanted, that'd be pretty cool. I'm not trans though." - my stupid arse 5 years ago
This is my exact attitude towards my gender. I still don't know if it qualifies as trans because the term trans is literally short for transition and I don't know if I want to change anything about myself. Except for a certain physical feature... So maybe?
@@sarahvunkannon7336 I also think that the term 'trans' doesn't really fit gender experiences that are not exactly cis, but still pretty close, or ones that are all about indifference regarding one's gender.
@@sarahvunkannon7336 The term „trans“ does not in fact stand for „transition“. Trans- is a Latin prefix meaning "across", "beyond", or "on the other side of", while Cis- means the opposite of it, namely „on this side of“. The definition of being transgender is: Your gender identity or expression not corresponding to the gender assigned at birth. This does not exclusively refer to a binary of feeling exactly the opposite gender of your assigned one, but also if you are genderfluid, non-binary or agender etc. E.g. you feeling like 10% male and 90% female as an afab person and being ok like that (you don‘t need to have dysphoria). Technically you do fall under the umbrella of being transgender, as soon as you do not 100% identify as cis, even if you don‘t want to transition in any way. So… there you have it. ;)
Also, the "game where you play for 12 hours then realize the main character is trans" is Celeste, probably. It's such an Egg game, that I don't think its director realized the main character was trans-coded until after its release. And then, the director realized that *she* was trans, and came out about both by posting art of Celeste with a trans flag on her desk.
5:25 Celeste immediately came to mind. It's not hinted that Madeline (the protagonist) is trans until the very end of the final DLC chapter, and even then it's not explicitly stated (just heavily implied by background details, and confirmed by the developer to be true). All of the transphobes who previously sunk ALL of their effort into that difficult platforming flipped their shit to the highest degree. It was hilarious to watch.
@@DrTssha My favorite part about this is how the developer actually made the game and the character of Madeline before ever discovering that she herself was trans, and that some of (not all of) the depression symbolism she put in there actually turned out to be repressed dysphoria symbolism (like all of the mirror stuff and how Badeline came into existence). The game as a whole is a literal r/egg_irl moment. It's all come full circle!
@@GinaDriedUp Oh my god that is amazing! Making sense to me in hindsight, with how much of the depression was bound to identity. "you are not a mountain climber" huh, shut up Badeline
I know some people don't get to find out that they're trans until their 20s or older but I still can't help but feel like I'll never get to experience the gay highschool relationship. But at least there's only four years until I get to move out and start T! Edit: it's really cool to see everyone with their similar experiences and advice. Thank you
I feel like I missed out on the time to live as a teenage high school girl or wear a dress to prom or anything else like that and it makes me feel sad. I never Had a “not like most girls phase” because I didn’t know at that time, which I mean it’s probably better that I don’t but it makes me feel excluded from womanhood
as an older person, im here to tell you the high school experience isnt what its supposed to be for anyone. maybe a few people but lets face it, people who peak in high school...tend to have issues later. When you get older itll be easier to find lovers, and hopefully less traumatizing. (high school relationships are so clumsy, they're usually a little traumatic for all involved.) Its friendship thats harder to find as an adult. The high school experience is basically "nostalgia for something we never knew" (TMK) having said that, grab your 20s by the balls.
There was no such thing as a gay high school experience until like 5 years ago. Trans/queer life has always been an adult experience, you’re part of a long history
You mean the one where everything is tense and you have like, 2 seconds between classes to tell your spud that you plan on studying with Brenda today and they respond by Fortnite dancing in the bathroom with the door open? High school relationships kinda stink. You didn't miss much.
Pre-transition my brother-in-law was called Chris, and post transition he's still called Chris. All he changed is what Chris is short for, but nobody was using the long version to actually address him, anyway.
5:18 the main character of Celeste was actually confirmed as trans after the creator of the game came out as trans themself. I also had a similar experience with OneShot, which never refers to the main character by gendered language to leave it up to the player. I saw them as a girl early on and didn't realise that the game never actually confirmed this.
To the person who thinks that they are old at 26: I just figured out that I am trans at almost 36. We all probably have this feeling of being too old. It’s okay to be scared at first. But ya know what? Trans people are very nice and supportive of each other, or at least that’s been my experience.
Umm, honest question: did you go 3.6 decades with no dysphoria or exploring/questioning or "dressing up" & then wake up Suddenly Trans*? Or did you just finally realize the word/term/identity to explain those experiences from most of your life? I suspect the latter, but no judgment or gatekeeping either way, honest. 👍
@@BurnWithinQT I’m not 36 but for me, I had those feelings for years but never knew they weren’t “normal”. Hell for a while I didn’t know what being trans was. I thought it was strictly a binary thing as well, once I saw about it online. Not the OP but for me anyway: Long story short gender feelings are just hard, sometimes it takes a while to realize
@@BurnWithinQT Honestly, I was overwhelmed by being everyone else’s caretaker and workhorse. Looking back now, there are things that stick out and make me wonder why didn’t I recognize that as a sign that not all was right in regards to my gender self image. I don’t have a ton of dysphoria, but it’s there. And since realizing and accepting that I am a guy, my desire to get rid of my breast’s is increasing. I’ve only been on this journey for a few months. So I’m what you’d call a baby trans. I know what I want to do with my body to make it “fit” me better, I just have to get started. I don’t think that I just “woke up trans one day”, I was just watching UA-cam and a video of Jamie popped up. As I was watching something in my mind said “wait- am I transgender?” I don’t remember which video I was watching at the time. But, something just kinda clicked? I started watching more videos and asking questions on google and ending up in the trans Reddit. Thats it. And now I have an appointment in August to discuss hormone therapy. I’m actually kind of happy, I feel like now I just have to figure out and tackle which parts of my depression are dysphoria and which parts are from childhood trauma/abuse.
@@BurnWithinQT I forgot to add that I never really fit in with other girls or women. And I also didn’t want to have breasts, even as a kid. One time I took saran wrap and wound it around chest so that I wouldn’t grow boobs like my mom’s.
so I got a haircut (my hair is now pretty short) and went to a medieval fair with my mum and younger brother and people started mistaking my and my brother for twins, so since my brother had the same medievel outfit twice we decidet to play into it by wearing the same outfit. For the next 3 days I was almost always reffered to as he, like eg me and my brother went to get food and the person asked 'and what do you boys want?' etc and it made me rlly happy, so in a happy voice I told my mum that people keep thinking I'm a boy and she said 'people are just close mindet, they see short hair and think boy, don't worry sweety'
I'm also transmasc and one of my first experiences with really positive gender expression was cutting my hair shorter too, I'm so glad you're getting to experience that
I've never cut my hair short, but I once went to a convetion and dressed up as a guy (from a kpop group) with my friends. When we left and stopped at a gas station/restaurant I had some people laugh at us and then say "wrong bathroom" when I was going to the womens bathroom. Soon two girls from the group entered and I was legit scared, so I took off my wig. There were just us, two parents and the other group btw. Anyway it made realize how scary those situations can be for trans people. I've now come to realize that I'm probably non binary.
One of my first experiences with being referred to with masculine pronouns are when I had cut my hair short for the first time, my mom and I went to a store to get me a new winter coat and the lady who was helping us said something along the lines of "are you looking for something for your son?" and visibly looked at me, my mom corrected her and said something like "no, actually *she's* my daughter." I never realized how happy being called "son" made me feel before then! *cough cough* still haven't told my parents yet *cough cough*
Oof, those times people try to reassure you about something you're actually *happy* about. I've seen a similar thing happen where aroaces (often those who are additionally actually bothered by anything sexually- or romantically-coded) will get assured about how attractive they are and how there will surely be many people who want to hook up with them, etc. My mom's also told me about a time when I was a baby that some elderly woman at a store kept misgendering me despite the overtly gendered way I'd been dressed. Left my mom super upset. Meanwhile, when I heard about it later on, I was just really confused why my mom had been upset about it at all. I was also just sort of amused for years at how often people would guess my gender wrong online.
She is probably assuming you‘re feeling insecure about it, despite your happiness - happiness can be mistaken for nervousness from an outside perspective. If you feel comfortable, tell her that you didn’t feel upset by being called a boy but it was really comfortable for you, just clear things up. And the conversation doesn’t have to be more than that, at least not right away. I had similar experiences but didn’t know this was a thing actual people felt or could do, so I (and my mum, who took care to raise outside strict gender roles) only put two and two together decades later.
Before I knew I was trans I was walking into target and a little kid asked their grandma, "is that a boy or a girl?" and the grandma said "I don't know" and it made me feel so happy ☺️
5:22 Celeste wasnt pllaned to have a trans character, but then one of the developers found out she's trans and the last cutscene in the entire game confirms that the character is also trans (btw she's the first trans protagonist in video games)
I can think of a much older RPG where inverting sex (and gender) can happen to the main character under some rare circumstances, but that isn't quite the same thing, and isn't part of the plot or anything.
Am currently egg in the sense that I think I'm trans but not really ready to accept myself or I guess I don't know who I am. I don't feel like the label trans accurately describes me but neither does cis. I simply am and I think that's alright. You're little speech about accepting yourself is really poking at my heart. You never fall to brighten up my day, Jammi (Jamie?), I appreciate you
just a reminder that really helped us when we were trying to figure out our identities over the last few years: it's perfectly valid to not use a label! you don't need to use labels if they don't feel like they fit. it's always okay to just be you, and you can always be yourself without needing to have an assigned label to describe your identity. there's a lot of people out there that would usually fall under the trans, nonbinary, or gender nonconforming umbrella that don't use those labels to describe themselves. at the end of the day, labels can help a person realize who they want to be, but those labels don't define who they have to be. we wish you the best of luck in figuring out who you are! - B
I feel this way as well! I settled for identifying as nonbinary/ agender because it makes the most sense to me. But as pacicidal said, labels absolutely aren't necessary. I wish you luck in your self identity journey!
It took me a good 4.5 months before I finally came to terms that I’m trans (ftm). When I came out as bisexual in high school it took me about 1.5 days to realize that I was bisexual.
To everyone who feels “too old” to come out as trans: I came out at 14 and still felt too old and even was told I was too old to realize I’m trans. It’s certainly not you, it’s them. If literal children (albeit, I was a teen, but still) are told they’re too old, it’s just people being dumb. You’re never too old 🏳️⚧️ Edit: Fixed spelling mistakes
At any stage of life -- if you know, you know. If you question, that is valid as well. The rest is people thinking they know who you are better than you do. Don't believe them. They're wrong.
Correct. You are never too old. I was in my fifties when I publicly came out. The seventies were such a homo / transphobic time to live through, then the AIDs crisis and the UK Tory government's Section 28 in the eighties made it feel impossible for me to ever come out, amongst many other personal reasons from then on. But then I thought, I had to do it, as nobody could make me feel worse than I was making myself feel, so I did something about it and I am now so much happier than I have ever been.
@@Abigail-Rebecca So true. I came out in stages in my early 30s (89-92s). It is my one regret that I wasnt in a postion to do it earlier. Mind you I could have done without the first outing by a policeman to my employers the British Army.
Fun nb story- one of the names my parents wanted to name me was Morgan, which is fun for gender neutral reasons. Apparently they both wanted to name me Morgan and it would have been my name if my parents had both realised the other liked it. Guess what, I’m now a Morgan. Update: Now undergoing a legal name change!
That’s a beautiful name! It make me think of rich dark chocolate and baskets of fruit and libraries full of old books. Ink drawings and coffee stains on wood are all things that feel Morganesque. I love that name and I might steal it for myself hehe
Damn, I wasn't able to articulate or understand my feelings that well when I was 5. I only thought "oh, I really like purple because it's mix of "boy" colour and "girl" colour".
@@ellem8990 I was kinda weird child anyway! I’m not even sure what drove me to ask that question but it started a pretty funny conversation between me and my mom since I also came to the conclusion it has to happen the opposite way too!
even though I knew what being trans was about I still didn't question my identity for a while even though I had the MOST OBVIOUS SYMPTOMS LIKE WANTING TO BE A BOY OR HAVING CHEST DYSPHORIA
@@tulimeri683 hold up, I just realized you're also finnish (luin vast nyt sun nimen). Nice to see that there are also others from finland specifically. I hope that your mom reacted well btw.
@@ellem8990 my mom (as far as I know) doesn’t even remember me asking that. She probably didn’t even think about it, since as a kid I also made my own theory about time and how it works🤷. So actually I’m still quite closeted. Also yeah it’s nice to see other Finnish people!
"My cis friends: it's nice that 2 of our trans friends felt safe enough to come out to us. Me seeing the perfect opportunity: there's 3 actually" I was literally applauding!!!!
@@firasjemil213 It’s not a trend. Similar people just tend to group together, and the people mentioned (and OP) feel safe enough to come out because of the friends being allies which would probably attract trans folks as friends.
Aw yeah, gimme that eggy content... For whoever needs to read it: you're never too old to transition, your identity is valid, there are people who care about your wellbeing, you deserve happiness, there are people who support you on your journey. Much love 🏳️⚧️
I was looking at some old photos from middle and high school the other day and I remembered that when I was a teen extremely deep in the closet I genuinely believed that part of being a man was being deeply uncomfortable with your place in the world along with hating your body. It was quite the wakeup call when I realized that it wasn't the case and that I was actually a trans woman.
My mom (rip) actually ordered me a swimsuit in the pan flag colours even though she didn't believe I was bi because "how do you know when you've never dated a girl", I came out as panromantic demisexual a couple of years later after she passed. It was really her only failing as a parent but I still think it's hilarious when I wear the swimsuit, plus it's cute
Trans egg mama here. I happen to be just about 6ft tall with short hair so I've been mistaken as male more than once in my 42 years. Eh 🤷🏼 I was out and about recently in my "Trans Rights are Human Rights" shirt to support my 16 year old. A store employee saw my shirt, smiled at me, complimented my shirt and said "you look great" in a way that implied I was a Trans woman and showing her support. Not quite, but her heart was absolutely in the right place and it totally made my day. I have thought about that interchange dozens of times since and it keeps on making me smile.
I'm ftm and my deadname is typically a male name one time a teacher said to me (before I came out) that she had talked to someone about me and said that everything the person was saying about me was true but was using he/him pronouns for me so she asked what my pronouns were to make sure she was using the correct ones I had already realized that I'm trans but wasn't ready to come out yet and it pained me to say to her she/her I then came out to her like 3 weeks later and she was super supportive and was excited for me
Just a reminder Trans fems, you look pretty and I hope you have a good day Trans mascs, you look handsome and I hope you have a good day People outside the binary, you look positively perplexing and I hope you have a good day Xenogender people and non dysphoric trans people, your gender is valid and I hope you have a good day Allys, I can’t tell you how much the little things mean and I hope you have a good day (If this made your day please let me know it means a lot)
as a xenogender user (i also identify as agender though) it made me so giddy to see someone include us like this, usually we are put on the back burner of advocacy due to our identities making cis people confused or seen as a 'chronically online' thing (,:
@@krimsonkatt did you miss the 'though' in my message? i included it because i identify as agender AS WELL AS xenogenders.. and yes, xenogenders ARE valid. especially for those of us with neurodivergencies that affect how we perceive and experience gender. it is a social construct. autism affects how autistics experience and relate to social constructs like gender. sometimes existing gender labels do not encompass what we feel to be our gender, so we create new lables and that is PERFECTLY okay. if your only contribution to this thread is going to be trying to invalidate other's identities just because you clearly do not understand them, then just stop mentioning me in your comments. i dont feel like putting up with that nonsense today. i promise you people with xenogenders know more about their gender and experience of such more than you do as an outside observer with clear biases against neurodivergent influenced gender identities. the fact you started trying to invalidate my identity in a youtube comment thread simply because i shared that i use xenogenders is so fucking weird and not your place to do so. i didnt ask for your input on if my real experience of gender is valid to you or not.
I've sworn on my grave to give my future child/children gender neutral names and the ones I've settled on (for now) is Jace and Avery :] (also the thing with nonbinary people taking names from nature/fictional characters, I stole my name Dharrius from my relative who is named after the persian King Darius :])
shoutout to egg me for literally stating OUT LOUD that i would be totally chill if i woke up the next day in a male body and would then identify as a guy (in a cis way of course), and then secretly wishing for it. Because thats probably normal and a 100% cis thing to think
Ah yes, just en very day totally cis™ thing to want. The enby equivalent of that for me and my partner was wanting to be a shapeshifter or a cloud or smth
Yeah I've realized I'm probably not 100% cis, because tbh I'd be down to swap bodies from female to male occasionally. I'm happy with my current body and identity and pronouns, but I also love roleplaying male characters in games and would be happy to be a guy sometimes. So I'm some mild flavor of enby I suppose!
@@starbittenpixieboy don't even bother with them, their account was created only a few weeks ago and I remember the day their account first shown up This isn't the first account that's had this name format at all and they've been doing this and making burner accounts since mid 2019
Jamie mentioned lgbtq+ peeps being attracted to the colors of their flags, and I realized that I never wore this much purple, grey, and black before I found out I was ace...
As someone who was an egg not too long ago, all of this is very relatable and true and thank you for telling people like me (who only figure it out when already adults) that we're valid. I remember spending years questioning (or maybe it's more accurate to say I kinda knew but I was too scared to come out to myself for fear of being fake/invalid), and it helps a lot to hear that it's never too late and that figuring things out later is okay, that it doesn't make you any less valid.
Jamie really is a great gender-neutral name, as I very recently realized: I was playing The Sims 4, and my character had an amab kid, whom I named Jamie. When Jamie became a child, I realized that the game had randomly decided to give "him" some *really* feminine outfits, and I was like "Oh cool, my family is already super queer anyway, might as well let Jamie be a trans girl". I then proceeded to change her pronouns to "she/her" (yes, that's a thing you can do now! :D), but forgot to come up with a new name for her. Upon realizing this after like an hour, I was like "Huh, all that time, 'Jamie' felt kinda right", so I just left it as it was ^^
I've never had sims randomly wear the "opposing" style (masculine/feminine). That's cool tho, I wish they added like a "come out" or "transition" option to the game. I also wish you could choose if your character is gay, bi or ace etc. especially since they bothered to put the pride flags in the game.
@@WolfgangDoW I know you can select prefrence, but I understood it as their character changing prefrence on their own. I know all sims are basically pan, but you know sometimes I want to have a lesbian sim or ace sim and have them interact accordingly, without me having to actively control who they flirt with or if they flirt.
Okay, so I feel like I need to share a thing I experienced in Sim 3. Was my first family. Their first kid was adopted, second was a biological son. When the bio-son started getting old enough to get flirty, I noticed he was developing a relationship with another boy. Wasn't used to games allowing that, so was like, "Oh, cool, and they're a pretty cute couple, too." Very shortly after I noticed this, the boyfriend got invited over to hang out. They were standing around flirting, then went to kiss each other, AND THE DAD JUST STARTS YELLING AT THEM. Both boys ran out of the room, the boyfriend ran out of the house, and I was just like "wtf just happened? This game also decide to include homophobia or something??" Luckily, it's Sims, and I was able to make the dad go apologize to them both, and there was no further issue after that. Most everything past that was pretty wholesome. The adopted kid went on to have as big of a family as the game would allow. And those boys... Well, the bio-son was a vampire, like his dad; and when I got the expansion that allowed it, it seemed appropriate to turn his boyfriend into a faerie (partly because he already sort of looked the part, partly because vampires get a mood boost from fae blood, and partly because I wanted a faerie with pretty wings). They adopted a daughter who ended up a witch so she could turn her imaginary friend into a real person and marry them when she got older. The development process for imaginary friends is a bit unnerving, though... Oh, I almost forgot... vampire-dad ended up dying when I wasn't paying him attention. Set his gravestone on the family property, which also enabled his ghost to sometimes wander the house at night. Found out that it's possible for a sim to give birth to a ghost baby. The Sims games are wild.
@@SomeOnlinePerson oh!! the sims 3 is awesome!!! unfortunately my laptop can't handle it, so i resort to playing the sims 4. i have a family that consists of a lesbian couple, where one of them is an alien that at some point passed away and joined back as a ghost, and the other is a human celebrity later turned into a vampire; their biological daughter and son; an android (from uni dlc, servobot?) built by the daughter; a kid birthed by the son bc aliens inpregnated him and so on.. i love this save file a lot, lol...
genuinely used to think all cis people liked it when they were misgenderd. I feel like that's a very universal trans experience (liking it when people call you boy if your afab and girl if your amab) one example is in maths class one time, I had a supply and they said young man to talk to me (I'd recently cut my hair short for the first time) and I just couldn't stop smiling to myself , like yes I tricked him! and then a year later I'm genderfluid, agender...
@@ameliab324 Just want to make sure you know that while you definitely don't have to label yourself as trans, you *can* still use it if you find it useful. :) Basically includes anyone who doesn't feel that their gender consistently, wholly, and exclusively matches their assigned sex. Us -flux and -fluid people, along with demigenders and such, really pushed the definition to an extreme by just existing. ^^; (I'm "fluidflux," but I usually just say "non-binary," "genderfluid," or "genderqueer." At least the vagueness with those feels more understandably meaningful than "fluidflux," less niche Darmok stuff going on.)
@@SomeOnlinePerson What does flyidflux mean? Your gender is fluid to different extents at different times? Cause I don't really understand... Yes, the term 'trans' is broad, I just feel like it doesn't fit people who don't transition well. They can identify as trans, but in my opinion more specific terms like e.g. non-binary, demigirl, boyflux are better than the huge umbrella term trans.
@@ameliab324 That's fair. :) I usually don't feel quite right saying I'm trans, either, just because I know the term will make most folks think of binary trans folks instead. ^^; And yeah, fluidflux, or gender fluidflux means that both the gender and the intensity of it changes around. It's like having one of those color-changing lights, and it's also got a dimmer; it can be really bright on any of the colors in its range, and it can be really dim on any of the colors in its range, and basically everything between. Sticking with that illustration, my personal experiences have mostly settled among muddled color mixes that most seem to keep fairly "dim." Some "colors" will sometimes flare up to something much more distinct, though lately, the most noticeable instances of that tends to involve multiple very different "colors" trying to shine at the same time and being all confusing. Like, "c'mon, blue, orange, can you please figure out how to just take turns or something?"
I was bullied in school, and I obviously hated that - but some younger kids decided a way to try and pick on me was to ask me if I was a boy or a girl, and when I said anything in response, going "oooh, deep voice - BOY, THEN!" and running off. I wasn't offended or hurt by it specifically because, in a totally cis way, I wanted to be a pretty boy who was just so pretty as a boy that other boys would be okay with being gay for me. In a totally cis way, of course. I'm genderqueer now, btw, and that feeling hasn't gone away! The only time I've not felt happy at being gendered as male is one time when I got gendered that way at a funeral.
I came out as a lesbian about a year ago and now I'm questioning stuff all over again, and with stuff I mean my gender this time. It's really hard rn. Even if I turn out to be cis or non-binary, just the possibility of thinking I might be trans made me realise how many social repercussions this would have (at least for me) and although I was definitely a trans ally before, I have double the respect for all of you wonderful people now. I don't know what the future brings for me, but I'm still cheering all of you on no matter which one it's gonna be.
5:15 In the amazing platformer game Celeste, which is about the main character climbing a mountain as a metaphor for overcoming her anxiety, you play as Madeline, whose transness is being hinted at at different points during the game and is confirmed in a cute little picture at the end where you can see her having a trans flag in her room. The developers have confirmed it as well. It is very possible to play this game and not realize that Madeline is trans at all, especially because you only get to see said image if you play through one of the hardest levels in the game, which you only unlock after beating a bunch of challenges.
Re: not realizing immediately that a character is trans. There's a book by Haruki Murakami titled "Kafka on the Shore" and in this you get to know a very nice (male) librarian. The protagonist describes the face of that librarian as unusually beardless, but I didn't get the point of that until dozens of pages later. Two women visit the library and accuse the librarian of typical male sexism. And then he's like, "I'm not male." And like. That was a "Huuuuuuuh?" moment for me bc I didn't understand how HE could not be male. He drew out his ID in which he was still marked as "female". The book is not exactly nowaday's standards and probably gets some things wrong, but the libarian is actually a character that is not all about being trans, he has other characteristics and functions in the narrative. And even after the reveal, he is still adressed as a man by the protagonist, which is great.
5:49 this is actually how my friend came out to me, it was the first person who actually came out to me (as in with my other friends i just kinda became common knowledge, there was no big announcement moment to me specifically)... they asked "do you have any lgbtq+ friends?" and i was like "yeah i have a couple lesbian friends and asexual friends and trans friends" and they were like "well now you have a bi friend" 💗💜💙
A gender-neutral name I like, Riley. It means angry, but I've met three Riley's and they're all cute dorks like me. Two of them were fictional characters, and one of them was my sophomore world history teacher. Guess which class I looked forward to every week?
@@wilyriley_ That seems like an oddly suspicious denial...better not give you my name in case you're fae... 😛 Of course, I do have one to spare...still not giving either away though.😛
@@DrTssha the name Riley showed up on my doorstep long before this person made their post, so I wouldn’t worry about your name being stolen, but who knows?
My thing is that I had all those questioning phases and also denial, but I never had like heavy dysphoria. I was pretty lucky with the people I first came out to and most of my childhood friends were like "of course I look at you as a brother and not a sister" My family is a different story but my mom has started making awkward jokes (though some of them I find quite offensive, but we're generally not getting along that well) and my grandma is just straight up toxic, but like towards everyone (she doesn't know)
3:50 oh my goodness the number of times I've been publicly "mistaken" as a boy and people around me were either laughing or apologising when I was secretly loving it is astounding, I know the feeling xD
dysphoria is so incredibly ick that I can't explain to my friends how icky it truly is, because the unfortunate thing is that they just can't understand, no matter how hard they try :( and try they do, I'm so glad I have them it's still hard to talk about, so I usually don't, but sometimes it just needs to come out all my close friends are cis but they are very gay so we all have that at least
About coming out later in life: there's a brazilian comics artist and journalist whom i think should be an international symbol for trans people. Her name is Laerte Coutinho, she's 71, and she was already one of Brasil's most famous artists (for a couple of decades) when she came out in 2010. She's part of a generation of comic artists known for strong political views and for pushing countercultural narratives and is also a historical leftist, who worked in the 70s for campaigns against the 1964-85 dictatorship and for trade unions, and later founded a comunication agency specialized on unions. At first she began crossdressing and through that she was able to explore and understand her identity. In 2012 she cofounded an organization called Brazilian Transgenders Association, but I don't know if this organization still exists.
7:19 Here are some more gender neutral names :) • Jackie • Quinn • Bex • Kei/Kay • Benny • Robin • Riley/Ryleigh • Twig • Danny • River • Moss • Frankie • Kris/Chris • Taylor (I just noticed that all of the names are small in length and a lot are nature or have w, x, y, and z) :3
hey Jamie, I'm a very quiet person and I came out to my parents and I said my pronouns are they/them but they claim they support but don't respect my pronouns, how do I speak up to them and defend my pronouns?
yo, another nonbinary person! I think it depends on the situation. For example, it took my mother quite some time before she could get my name and pronouns, and it's entirely possible they're just adapting to change. If you believe they truly do support you, then over time they will show it. Personally, I'd say something like "oh, it's (insert your pronouns) by the way." or, "remember, it's (chosen name here). I don't know your parents so I of course can't give you an exact sheet on what to say, but that's what worked for me! If your parents genuinely don't support you, then I'm very sorry. You deserve just as much love and support as everyone else, and if your parents refuse to give you that, then I hope you can find friends or other loved ones who will. Stay safe out there bud one enby to another :)
I can't offer any advice but I hope your parents come around soon. My sister's kid came out as non binary and gave her permission to share that with the fam. In the conversation I kept using they/them and she kept using he/him. I wish parents could imagine how they would feel if they were misgendered. 🏳️⚧️
I think it depends a lot on the situation, but when we were trying to get our family to adapt to Nev's pronouns of they/them, we made a point to not respond when they used the wrong name and pronouns, and if they kept insisting on doing it if it was malicious intent behind it, we would misgender them purposely when conversing so that they could realize more about how Nev felt with that moment of wrongness when they were getting the wrong pronouns used for them. It was maybe a little difficult to process at first, because we were still used to me being the host and not Nev, but eventually it got to the point that our siblings were using the correct pronouns and name and actively correcting our dad and his girlfriend when they would use the wrong terms. it does take a lot of time, and especially for someone whose core trait is usually meant to be kindness against all else, Nev definitely had a hard time with it. it does get better with time. we hope this helps! - B
@@muriel5826 Thank you for using their pronouns correctly! I hope their parents can understand, just like you said. Thank you for being an amazing Aunt/Uncle to them!
@@Detective_asparagus Thank you! I think my mom does support but idk. Its really frustrating cause she'll point out like pride month stuff from last month and be like "I'm glad trans ppl are becoming more recognized" but then just turn her back and say things a transphobic person would say.
3:37 while you were telling that story I kinda forgot you're trans, so my brain was just like "how often do people point out to a boy that he's a boy? But I guess that's something cis people can be happy abou---- wait a minute!"
I love these so much. As a 30yo pandemic baby trans, it feels so good and validating to see other folks sharing the same experiences that I have been having. Solidarity and love to all!
I'm fighting nail and teeth everyday for people around me to call me Aleks but since my full name is Aleksandra and I'm from Poland anyone Polish just assumes I'm fine with being called Ola and I'm usually too scared to correct them 🥲 the only upside is that I live in UK and I it's not hard to accept to non-Poles
I never understood how "Aleksandra" could become "Ola" ?? (I'm a french dude, but I knew someone a long time ago, who was coming from Austria, called the first one but preferring the "short version") sorry to Ask, but if you have the answer I would be really happy 😭 (I hope people around you will finally understand that you prefer Aleks, which is really really cool ! Glad non-poles do use the right name ❤️)
@@akitokutikabanae7010 I honestly have no idea, have been wondering my whole life. Aleks is masculine in polish so I get that, but it could have just gone to Aleksa to make it feminine, but no, it's Ola. Also Aleksander is not Aleks, it's Olek, so all of it just makes no sense
Technically not a trans character but I recently started playing the tony hawks remaster and I accidentally made a female character with a beard in mens get up, didn't realise until I was changing the outfit later in the game. Accidentally made a trans guy , am a trans guy, maybe I did it subconsciously. Also this is a one time only comment about my dead name. - Before I came out I used to go by Kim, when I came out people said why don't I keep the name as its gender neutral (obviously I didn't) but yeah thats a gender neutral name for you, spelt Kim or Kym :)
some gender neutral names for each letter of the alphabet: al/alex andy ari ash avery billie blue bobby casey charlie chris chuck coda dakota danny devin dusty el elm emery francis/frankie gale gem hal harley indie izzy jackie jamie(!) jean jeri jess/jessie juni kai kelly kim kit lake les/leslie mack marty max matty moe morgan nat nicky ollie parker pat/patty quinn raven robin riley river sam/sammy sid/sidney sky/skyler taj taylor tommie uri val wynn xiao yari yue zee
3:29 me in the closet the first time I cut my hair short and some weeks later a girl in my class said that I look like a boy as an insult and I turned my head to see her and then she felt bad for thinking it but I was like "she actually thought I looked like a boy :D" I was late to class and she didn't realized it was me and did the stupid joke she always has to do of pointing everything she sees and waiting till everyone starts laughing and she said something like " oh a boy is lost and he went to the wrong class, haha I'm so funny", then I sat in my chair and looked at her and she realized and feelt bad for what she said, me didn't realizing I was a girl for everyone except me was confused like cis girls found "boy" an insult, if I knew that before I would realized a long time ago lol
For *years* before I realized I was trans, I was just... incredibly obsessed with the art-style of early CGA video games. Just that awesome color palette, that neon on black, that.... cyan, pink, and white. they're just good colours, hush!
pride flags always have amazing colours/designs like - aroace (only a little bit of bias) - both of the gays - pan - enby - yumesexual (very unknown, also known as dreamsexual, nothing to do with Minecraft)
You explaining how it’s okay to not realize something until you have something in the world to compare it too is also relatable as a person with chronic pain. I didn’t realize that people DIDNT have pain all the time until someone else with chronic pain described how it felt to make it relatable to a wider audience. After I read that I realized and eventually got diagnosed! It’s important to talk about our experiences and see other people talk about theirs, it can lead to a lot of self discovery and is good for us not just mentally but physically!
Most people take time and communication to realize that their experience is not universal! It is part of self-actualization and is a part of developmental psychology that persists for our whole life time! Your brain is not going to use precious energy making you figure out everything about everyone, so it assumes some things just ARE. Taking to time to talk about these things, chronic pain, allergies, mental health issues, gender identity, sexual orientation, opinions, reactions, can open the door to friendships, perspective, and general well being! Don’t be afraid to talk about things you might think are minor! Sometimes these small truths are the basis for greater understanding! Never stop questioning, and never stop growing! Every times you question or just talk about your experience, you could be helping someone become a happier, more confident, more included person!
I can give a couple of other puns: If you are gay and alone you are homolone If you are pan and everyone leaves you behind you are apandoned If you are asexual and there is no one in your general vicinity you have been aceolated If you are bisexual and single you are bi your self
Omg!!! I've never seen a sponsored ad for two dots!!! I've been playing that game for a couple years. I LOVE IT. Can confirm it is relaxing, fun, no pressure, and doesn't have hidden pay-to-play things. Love love love
My dad caught me watching this, he’s definitely convinced that trans people are fake and the internet made me trans and “this stuff is horrible” um anyways I love your vids
5:18 I know I’m not the first to say this but Celeste is an example! It’s one of my favourite games too and it explores the journey of the main character as she faces challenges and grows as a person. The story doesn’t focus on her transness nor is it her goal throughout the story, rather she just *is* trans, and we get to see her journey as she becomes a happier/better person.
my favorite part about realizing your identity is the amount of hindsight that comes with it. like you look back and it all seems so obvious now. i don't have many examples involving my gender that don't overlap with what could just be my autism affecting the way I view things but my bisexuality in particular has some moments where I look back and go "how did I not realize that sooner??"
5:40 "My cis friends: it's nice that two of our trans friends felt safe enough to come out to us"..me "there's three actually". I laughed and cried at the same time, because that is exactly how I came out to two of my friends as trans.
I totally had a noticing the flag thing when I saw the professor for the new pokemon violet. You can't show me purple white grey and black and not have me see ace.
Jamie, if you want a game that you play as a trans character but you don't know until many hours in, Celeste is a really great platformer. it's hard as hell but it's a beautiful game with beautiful music and a great story
Every time I think of the concept of being an egg I think of "The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world."
10:08 ... I mean... yeah yeah, definitely for some people it goes from "something feels wrong and off" to hitting you like a ton of bricks once you realize what feels wrong and off, not to dissimilar to like when you cut your hand and not realize and don't feel anything, then you feel your hand is wet and so you look down and realize ow I somehow cut it and then once you realize that you feel all the pain that you didn't realize before you knew. I know my experience was definitely blissfully ignorant for 20 years then 3 years of "am, am I? No that can't... am I?" to finally accepting who I am and then that is when things went from "wearing a slightly damp room temperature sock" level of uncomfortable to "there are small shards of broken glass inside your extremely damp cold sock" level of uncomfortable for the exact same things, it was and still is very weird things going from a mild discomfort to those exact same things being extremely uncomfortable when I stopped lying to myself about who I am.
Cis woman here, my whole childhood I was always jealous of the girls in books that had gender neutral or more masculine names, like Jem, Sam, Bill, Andy, etc 🤨 I go by Alex 🤦♀️ To be fair it wasn't until my teens that I started using it, but it wasn't until recently that I realised. I'm 44. 😂
Jamie you’re so right about people being drawn to things that are their flag color(s). I didn’t know I was asexual till about 4 years ago. Upon figuring myself out, I discovered a pair of socks that I bought 7-8 years ago for rollerblading were striped as the ace flag colors. My favorite pre-teen/early teen dress was a glittery purple hombre dress because it reminded me of the sky… and I’m a spACE ace!!
I have decided to make a list of all the times child me went "yep this is a completely normal cis thing to feel!" (that i can remember) - asking my dad, 100% serious, "when i am gonna get my mustache?" - insisting i was a "tomboy, not a girl" - playing the guy character in minecraft story mode and claiming it was because the voice acting was better than the girl character (which, to be fair, is TRUE) And just in general I always was confused on gender roles and such and why I "HAD" to be a girl. I also was raised in a very open-minded household. My mom was very open about things and made sure I didn't try to blindly follow what society says I should be. Helped a lot when I hit puberty and was suddenly struck with a tidal wave of negativity towards my changing body. Not sure if I'm just a trans male or transmasc nonbinary but definitely not a girl 😅 And i have rambled again. oh well.
The third last and the penultimate memes really got me. I so remember my brain chattering to me like 2 troops of monkeys, one shouting "You're trans trans trans!" the other lot screaming, "Youre not trans, its not possible". The mrror thing oh god the mirror thing, I avoided looking in mirror like the plague. Now I I can look in a mirror and go "Yup that me and Im looking good!"
My guess is the game that was mentioned was Celeste, where the trans developer wrote the main character as trans without noticing it as first as they also were not aware that they were trans at the time. They later wrote a post talking about this.
dysphoria feels like you’ve get your hands up to your elbows in lukewarm chunky soup and then you find a piece of soggy bread and you for some reason rub it on your teeth
I think having a compelling character who is revealed to be trans after the player has already connected with them could actually do a lot to help make people more accepting. In the same way that Will & Grace and Modern Family helped to make people more familiar with gay men and more accepting as a result, that could help to shift people's perspectives on trans people.
I do have to point out that back when I was 24, I was playing an MMO and someone in the group asked my age. When I answered they responded, "Wow! I didn't know old people played video games!" I'm 40 now, so apparently I'm ancient. ON topic however, I've questioned since I was young, but it was never an appropriate thing to question. Only now at midlife do we have the freedom to say "This isn't right, this is who I am and I'm allowed to be that!"
Jumping on the "you are not too old to be trans" wagon: I was 31. I never felt like I did a good job of being a girl. When I was in highschool, all my friends agreed that I was more like a guy than a girl. It isn't that I didn't know I was non-binary. The term just didn't exist and I didn't know anyone else who felt the way that I did. It took me a long time to realize that what I was feeling fell under the trans umbrella, and to find the labels that felt right to me.
6:15 the amount of times I've misgendered myself lmaooo My sister has corrected me without noticing it was me before on discord xD The simultaneous "I love you so much" an "you little shit" energy fighting for dominance lol
My youngest (Mtf 14) finally opened up to me about things that were happening at school. They were outed about 4 months ago and had been facing bullying especially in the changing rooms at school. We talked about it together and I asked if I could tell his house leader in confidence in order to deal with the bullying and find a way of dealing with the changing room (they had always changed in the toilet cubicle but were Dow getting bangs on the sides and door and boys climbing to get a view over the top, of what they thought they might see I don’t know!) My youngest then surprised me and kind of made me proud, they said they were done with it and wanted to properly come out at school, use their chosen name (Luna) and begin to socially transmission. That was nearly 3 weeks ago and they are so much happier and have found (as I knew he would in that school) that they had far more supporters and allies than hate and bullies and far more support from school then they thought. They are loving not being dead a Ed by teachers countless times a day!
I remember instances in my childhood when I was being made fun of for being girly and I wasn't bothered by being girly or being called girly just by being made fun of like "why do you have the urge to hurt me over this :("
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thank u for making those vids, really helps me get trough hard stuff
@Gifted Gays Heck yeah! Jamie's the best!
@@gabsthefrog Yep, all the hard stuff. We would be nothing without Jamie.
I wondered if you had seen the show The Orville? If so, do you have any thoughts on the Moclan storylines? The Orville is similar to Star Trek, the creator (Seth McFarlane) is a big trek fan. The Moclans are a race similar to the Klingons who, so far as everyone is aware, are all male. As the series progresses we discover that a small proportion of Moclans are born female but are surgically altered to appear male (referred to in show as “corrective surgery”) whilst still babies, and that at least one Moclan female did not have this surgery so had to live in hiding for most of her life, incidentally becoming one of the highest regarded writers of the society. Later we discover that the proportion of Moclans born female is much higher than the government admits and that there has been a network of ships evacuating them to a hidden exclave. In the latest episode, “A Tale of Two Topas” a Moclan who was born female (technically hatched female, Moclans lay eggs) and forcibly altered in season 1 (against the wishes of one of her parents) is having body issues, discovers that she was born female and with great difficulty gets the alteration reversed.
This continuing story, threaded through the other stories, feels like it’s addressing the LGBT+ issues by effectively reversing them.
Ayo when we getting aro memes I have been asking for MONTHS!
I’m genderfluid and my parents named me Quinn! I’m glad they went with a gender neutral name for me because I’ve always liked it and felt comfortable with it
I love the name Quinn, it's so cool ~
SAME
That was one of the names I wanted with my transition
I just commented that this is the most beautiful gender neutral name I now. ^^ I feel like the fact that it starts with a Q makes it even more special since there aren't that many names that start with Q.
Just dropping by to say _wow_ that's a good name. I wouldn't have thought of it!
I'm a cis woman with a more masculine style and short hair. Yesterday I was misgendered for the first time, and it was very dysphoric. It gave me a new understanding and respect for trans persons, I can't imagine feeling like that on top of struggling with your own internal questions.
Thank you for sharing!
yes when I was 13 or 14 and in college (I am in NZ) and went through a stage of having a short hair and I preferred to wear pants (still do prefer pants)and I had other students calling me boy which really upset me because I am a girl . I have a trans son and lately without even him mentioning his gender people have used he/him pronouns which makes him really happy
Huh. Also short haired cis lesbian here but I almost like being mistaken for a dude... Because I always would've liked it if I was worthy like a man. I got rejected from enlistment for bad eyes and having broken my knee as a kid, so I can't really prove that I'm a full human being, so I'm stuck with being a woman 🤷🏻
Sorry to hear that. At least it wasn't deliberate.
@@jasminema Wait, teens can go to college in New Zealand?
Ikr. Like there’s this one Discord that kept calling me a he and him and a guy even though I had Pronouns In Bio and said over and over again that I’m a Cis woman, complete with an organic (?) vagina, and I’m that “hands on the hips upset man” meme
Living proof here of “never too late”: I just turned 61. While I’ve been out as queer since my late 20s, and have known there was more up with me since childhood, just didn’t have the words or understanding for it… I finally figured out a few years ago that I’m genderqueer/nb/transmasc and less than a year ago changed my name and pronouns and came out to most of the people I know and my health care providers. Yes, it can take a while… but it’s just as liberating at 60 as at 16! (And the first person I came out to was my teenage trans grandson! 🏳️⚧️💛🤍💜🖤)
That's awesome! I turned 30 this year and also have only recently realized I'm nonbinary thanks to my high school students introducing me to the trans world. I was raised Catholic so I suppressed a lot and didn't really understand or know anyone who was trans, but after two of my students came out I wanted to learn more to support them and I ended up learning a lot more than I expected! I think those students taught me more than I ever taught them, and I thanked them for that when they graduated this past year.
Oh my gosh, you're such an icon! So happy you found your true self and that you felt able to come out too. I hope you're enjoying your newfound gender identity :)))
This proud mama of a trans girl would like to give you a big mom hug!
Thats amazing im so proud of you!
That is so cute omg, trans grandad and grandson
"Dysphoria is like getting hit on the head with giant Jenga bricks"
More like giant gender bricks
Oh my gahd😂😂
_Call that a cease and de-cis._
r/Angryupvote
More like giant car bricks
@@dustygania2425 ?
"I think lgbt people are just drawn to everything in the colors of their flag"
Me, demisexual, who's entire apartment is in the color scheme of black, white, grey and purple: 8] I came here to have a good time not to be CALLED OUT
Hahaha finally something I relate to, thank you 😊 😁
The other week my friend was wearing a dark purple sweatshirt and grey polo with black buttons, and I was like, “wait… your outfit looks like the ace flag bro!” He didn’t know what ace was, I guess I still have some educating to do, but a pleasantly surprising number of people I know are very clued up 💜🤍🖤
We do have the best flag, though.
Felt lmao. Not me running around with trans flag colored outfit and a rainbow flag cape 😅
fr calling me out tho😭
Yup! Right now I'm wearing a pink and white shirt with blue shorts and white socks. Also I love the purple and yellow and shades of black, white, and grey.
"If I had a 'gender slider' like in video game character creators and I could change it whenever I wanted, that'd be pretty cool. I'm not trans though."
- my stupid arse 5 years ago
This is my exact attitude towards my gender. I still don't know if it qualifies as trans because the term trans is literally short for transition and I don't know if I want to change anything about myself. Except for a certain physical feature... So maybe?
@@sarahvunkannon7336 same‐
@@sarahvunkannon7336 I also think that the term 'trans' doesn't really fit gender experiences that are not exactly cis, but still pretty close, or ones that are all about indifference regarding one's gender.
@@sarahvunkannon7336 The term „trans“ does not in fact stand for „transition“.
Trans- is a Latin prefix meaning "across", "beyond", or "on the other side of", while Cis- means the opposite of it, namely „on this side of“.
The definition of being transgender is: Your gender identity or expression not corresponding to the gender assigned at birth.
This does not exclusively refer to a binary of feeling exactly the opposite gender of your assigned one, but also if you are genderfluid, non-binary or agender etc. E.g. you feeling like 10% male and 90% female as an afab person and being ok like that (you don‘t need to have dysphoria).
Technically you do fall under the umbrella of being transgender, as soon as you do not 100% identify as cis, even if you don‘t want to transition in any way.
So… there you have it. ;)
unrelated, but is that a v4flower pfp i smell?
Also, the "game where you play for 12 hours then realize the main character is trans" is Celeste, probably. It's such an Egg game, that I don't think its director realized the main character was trans-coded until after its release. And then, the director realized that *she* was trans, and came out about both by posting art of Celeste with a trans flag on her desk.
Ye I was thinking it was Celeste as well!!
I love this info, I had no idea!!
AND the person who composed the music is trans.
i did not think id find something about celeste here but IM NOT COMPLAINING bcuz im hyperfixated and i love madeline she is the woman ever
I made that meme (go check my name) and i can confirm this is right
5:25 Celeste immediately came to mind. It's not hinted that Madeline (the protagonist) is trans until the very end of the final DLC chapter, and even then it's not explicitly stated (just heavily implied by background details, and confirmed by the developer to be true). All of the transphobes who previously sunk ALL of their effort into that difficult platforming flipped their shit to the highest degree. It was hilarious to watch.
Went looking for this!
Indeed, Celeste was my first thought as well. Someone needs to get Jamie a copy.
@@DrTssha My favorite part about this is how the developer actually made the game and the character of Madeline before ever discovering that she herself was trans, and that some of (not all of) the depression symbolism she put in there actually turned out to be repressed dysphoria symbolism (like all of the mirror stuff and how Badeline came into existence).
The game as a whole is a literal r/egg_irl moment. It's all come full circle!
Yes, thank you. I was about to comment about Celeste as well.
@@GinaDriedUp Oh my god that is amazing! Making sense to me in hindsight, with how much of the depression was bound to identity. "you are not a mountain climber" huh, shut up Badeline
I know some people don't get to find out that they're trans until their 20s or older but I still can't help but feel like I'll never get to experience the gay highschool relationship. But at least there's only four years until I get to move out and start T!
Edit: it's really cool to see everyone with their similar experiences and advice. Thank you
I feel like I missed out on the time to live as a teenage high school girl or wear a dress to prom or anything else like that and it makes me feel sad. I never Had a “not like most girls phase” because I didn’t know at that time, which I mean it’s probably better that I don’t but it makes me feel excluded from womanhood
as an older person, im here to tell you the high school experience isnt what its supposed to be for anyone. maybe a few people but lets face it, people who peak in high school...tend to have issues later. When you get older itll be easier to find lovers, and hopefully less traumatizing. (high school relationships are so clumsy, they're usually a little traumatic for all involved.) Its friendship thats harder to find as an adult. The high school experience is basically "nostalgia for something we never knew" (TMK)
having said that, grab your 20s by the balls.
There was no such thing as a gay high school experience until like 5 years ago. Trans/queer life has always been an adult experience, you’re part of a long history
I know the feeling of not realizing that your trans until your older. I myself never realized that I’m trans (ftm) until 4.5 months after I turned 33.
You mean the one where everything is tense and you have like, 2 seconds between classes to tell your spud that you plan on studying with Brenda today and they respond by Fortnite dancing in the bathroom with the door open?
High school relationships kinda stink. You didn't miss much.
Pre-transition my brother-in-law was called Chris, and post transition he's still called Chris. All he changed is what Chris is short for, but nobody was using the long version to actually address him, anyway.
5:18 the main character of Celeste was actually confirmed as trans after the creator of the game came out as trans themself.
I also had a similar experience with OneShot, which never refers to the main character by gendered language to leave it up to the player. I saw them as a girl early on and didn't realise that the game never actually confirmed this.
Wow someone actually knows about one-shot
The Missing: JJ Macfield and the Island of Memories
@@determinedhelicopter2948 IKR
To the person who thinks that they are old at 26: I just figured out that I am trans at almost 36. We all probably have this feeling of being too old. It’s okay to be scared at first. But ya know what? Trans people are very nice and supportive of each other, or at least that’s been my experience.
For real, some people are late bloomers. I didn't figure out myself until my 20s and some people don't until 50+. You're all valid!
Umm, honest question: did you go 3.6 decades with no dysphoria or exploring/questioning or "dressing up" & then wake up Suddenly Trans*? Or did you just finally realize the word/term/identity to explain those experiences from most of your life? I suspect the latter, but no judgment or gatekeeping either way, honest. 👍
@@BurnWithinQT I’m not 36 but for me, I had those feelings for years but never knew they weren’t “normal”. Hell for a while I didn’t know what being trans was. I thought it was strictly a binary thing as well, once I saw about it online. Not the OP but for me anyway: Long story short gender feelings are just hard, sometimes it takes a while to realize
@@BurnWithinQT Honestly, I was overwhelmed by being everyone else’s caretaker and workhorse. Looking back now, there are things that stick out and make me wonder why didn’t I recognize that as a sign that not all was right in regards to my gender self image. I don’t have a ton of dysphoria, but it’s there. And since realizing and accepting that I am a guy, my desire to get rid of my breast’s is increasing. I’ve only been on this journey for a few months. So I’m what you’d call a baby trans. I know what I want to do with my body to make it “fit” me better, I just have to get started.
I don’t think that I just “woke up trans one day”, I was just watching UA-cam and a video of Jamie popped up. As I was watching something in my mind said “wait- am I transgender?” I don’t remember which video I was watching at the time. But, something just kinda clicked? I started watching more videos and asking questions on google and ending up in the trans Reddit. Thats it. And now I have an appointment in August to discuss hormone therapy. I’m actually kind of happy, I feel like now I just have to figure out and tackle which parts of my depression are dysphoria and which parts are from childhood trauma/abuse.
@@BurnWithinQT I forgot to add that I never really fit in with other girls or women. And I also didn’t want to have breasts, even as a kid. One time I took saran wrap and wound it around chest so that I wouldn’t grow boobs like my mom’s.
so I got a haircut (my hair is now pretty short) and went to a medieval fair with my mum and younger brother and people started mistaking my and my brother for twins, so since my brother had the same medievel outfit twice we decidet to play into it by wearing the same outfit. For the next 3 days I was almost always reffered to as he, like eg me and my brother went to get food and the person asked 'and what do you boys want?' etc and it made me rlly happy, so in a happy voice I told my mum that people keep thinking I'm a boy and she said 'people are just close mindet, they see short hair and think boy, don't worry sweety'
I'm also transmasc and one of my first experiences with really positive gender expression was cutting my hair shorter too, I'm so glad you're getting to experience that
I've never cut my hair short, but I once went to a convetion and dressed up as a guy (from a kpop group) with my friends. When we left and stopped at a gas station/restaurant I had some people laugh at us and then say "wrong bathroom" when I was going to the womens bathroom. Soon two girls from the group entered and I was legit scared, so I took off my wig. There were just us, two parents and the other group btw. Anyway it made realize how scary those situations can be for trans people. I've now come to realize that I'm probably non binary.
One of my first experiences with being referred to with masculine pronouns are when I had cut my hair short for the first time, my mom and I went to a store to get me a new winter coat and the lady who was helping us said something along the lines of "are you looking for something for your son?" and visibly looked at me, my mom corrected her and said something like "no, actually *she's* my daughter." I never realized how happy being called "son" made me feel before then! *cough cough* still haven't told my parents yet *cough cough*
Oof, those times people try to reassure you about something you're actually *happy* about. I've seen a similar thing happen where aroaces (often those who are additionally actually bothered by anything sexually- or romantically-coded) will get assured about how attractive they are and how there will surely be many people who want to hook up with them, etc.
My mom's also told me about a time when I was a baby that some elderly woman at a store kept misgendering me despite the overtly gendered way I'd been dressed. Left my mom super upset. Meanwhile, when I heard about it later on, I was just really confused why my mom had been upset about it at all. I was also just sort of amused for years at how often people would guess my gender wrong online.
She is probably assuming you‘re feeling insecure about it, despite your happiness - happiness can be mistaken for nervousness from an outside perspective. If you feel comfortable, tell her that you didn’t feel upset by being called a boy but it was really comfortable for you, just clear things up. And the conversation doesn’t have to be more than that, at least not right away. I had similar experiences but didn’t know this was a thing actual people felt or could do, so I (and my mum, who took care to raise outside strict gender roles) only put two and two together decades later.
Before I knew I was trans I was walking into target and a little kid asked their grandma, "is that a boy or a girl?" and the grandma said "I don't know" and it made me feel so happy ☺️
Me but online. When people couldn’t tell my gender I’d get gender euphoria though I didn’t know it was that at the time
5:22
Celeste wasnt pllaned to have a trans character, but then one of the developers found out she's trans and the last cutscene in the entire game confirms that the character is also trans (btw she's the first trans protagonist in video games)
First canonically trans character* /nm
@@karameru_xd yeah, you're right
I like qhen Maddie did the tweet that was like : "How did game developpement influence your personnal life ?"
She was like : " Nope, nothing happen."
I can think of a much older RPG where inverting sex (and gender) can happen to the main character under some rare circumstances, but that isn't quite the same thing, and isn't part of the plot or anything.
There's another game I can think of, but it's a bit of a spoiler that the character is trans.
Am currently egg in the sense that I think I'm trans but not really ready to accept myself or I guess I don't know who I am. I don't feel like the label trans accurately describes me but neither does cis. I simply am and I think that's alright. You're little speech about accepting yourself is really poking at my heart. You never fall to brighten up my day, Jammi (Jamie?), I appreciate you
just a reminder that really helped us when we were trying to figure out our identities over the last few years: it's perfectly valid to not use a label! you don't need to use labels if they don't feel like they fit. it's always okay to just be you, and you can always be yourself without needing to have an assigned label to describe your identity. there's a lot of people out there that would usually fall under the trans, nonbinary, or gender nonconforming umbrella that don't use those labels to describe themselves. at the end of the day, labels can help a person realize who they want to be, but those labels don't define who they have to be. we wish you the best of luck in figuring out who you are!
- B
I feel that way too, it's weird but hey, at least I know I am not alone and neither are you. Lots of love
I feel this way as well! I settled for identifying as nonbinary/ agender because it makes the most sense to me. But as pacicidal said, labels absolutely aren't necessary. I wish you luck in your self identity journey!
It took me a good 4.5 months before I finally came to terms that I’m trans (ftm). When I came out as bisexual in high school it took me about 1.5 days to realize that I was bisexual.
Best of luck finding your gender :)
To everyone who feels “too old” to come out as trans: I came out at 14 and still felt too old and even was told I was too old to realize I’m trans. It’s certainly not you, it’s them. If literal children (albeit, I was a teen, but still) are told they’re too old, it’s just people being dumb. You’re never too old 🏳️⚧️
Edit: Fixed spelling mistakes
At any stage of life -- if you know, you know. If you question, that is valid as well. The rest is people thinking they know who you are better than you do. Don't believe them. They're wrong.
Correct. You are never too old. I was in my fifties when I publicly came out. The seventies were such a homo / transphobic time to live through, then the AIDs crisis and the UK Tory government's Section 28 in the eighties made it feel impossible for me to ever come out, amongst many other personal reasons from then on. But then I thought, I had to do it, as nobody could make me feel worse than I was making myself feel, so I did something about it and I am now so much happier than I have ever been.
@@Abigail-Rebecca You're a legend, Abigail.
I came out when I was 12 and I felt like it was _too early_
@@Abigail-Rebecca So true. I came out in stages in my early 30s (89-92s). It is my one regret that I wasnt in a postion to do it earlier. Mind you I could have done without the first outing by a policeman to my employers the British Army.
Fun nb story- one of the names my parents wanted to name me was Morgan, which is fun for gender neutral reasons. Apparently they both wanted to name me Morgan and it would have been my name if my parents had both realised the other liked it. Guess what, I’m now a Morgan.
Update: Now undergoing a legal name change!
That’s a beautiful name! It make me think of rich dark chocolate and baskets of fruit and libraries full of old books. Ink drawings and coffee stains on wood are all things that feel Morganesque. I love that name and I might steal it for myself hehe
@@m0ppp Always happy to meet another Morgan :)
My “very” cis experience: asking my mom what do you call a woman who feels like a man at 5 y/o years before hearing the word trans.
Damn, I wasn't able to articulate or understand my feelings that well when I was 5. I only thought "oh, I really like purple because it's mix of "boy" colour and "girl" colour".
@@ellem8990 I was kinda weird child anyway! I’m not even sure what drove me to ask that question but it started a pretty funny conversation between me and my mom since I also came to the conclusion it has to happen the opposite way too!
even though I knew what being trans was about I still didn't question my identity for a while even though I had the MOST OBVIOUS SYMPTOMS LIKE WANTING TO BE A BOY OR HAVING CHEST DYSPHORIA
@@tulimeri683 hold up, I just realized you're also finnish (luin vast nyt sun nimen). Nice to see that there are also others from finland specifically. I hope that your mom reacted well btw.
@@ellem8990 my mom (as far as I know) doesn’t even remember me asking that. She probably didn’t even think about it, since as a kid I also made my own theory about time and how it works🤷. So actually I’m still quite closeted. Also yeah it’s nice to see other Finnish people!
"My cis friends: it's nice that 2 of our trans friends felt safe enough to come out to us. Me seeing the perfect opportunity: there's 3 actually" I was literally applauding!!!!
Yeah, but it's totally not a trend
@@firasjemil213 It’s not a trend. Similar people just tend to group together, and the people mentioned (and OP) feel safe enough to come out because of the friends being allies which would probably attract trans folks as friends.
Aw yeah, gimme that eggy content...
For whoever needs to read it: you're never too old to transition, your identity is valid, there are people who care about your wellbeing, you deserve happiness, there are people who support you on your journey.
Much love 🏳️⚧️
Thanks.
Thanks, I think I needed that
e g g
@Sam _'tis_ true!
@Sam *in Makoto’s voice * No that’s wrong!
I was looking at some old photos from middle and high school the other day and I remembered that when I was a teen extremely deep in the closet I genuinely believed that part of being a man was being deeply uncomfortable with your place in the world along with hating your body. It was quite the wakeup call when I realized that it wasn't the case and that I was actually a trans woman.
wow, toxic masculinity in its "best" :(
i'm glad you've figured out these feelings and i hope you're in a better place now!!
Its not?
My mom (rip) actually ordered me a swimsuit in the pan flag colours even though she didn't believe I was bi because "how do you know when you've never dated a girl", I came out as panromantic demisexual a couple of years later after she passed. It was really her only failing as a parent but I still think it's hilarious when I wear the swimsuit, plus it's cute
She sounds like she didn't understand, but it's unfortunate that she asked you that. Sorry for your loss.
Trans egg mama here. I happen to be just about 6ft tall with short hair so I've been mistaken as male more than once in my 42 years. Eh 🤷🏼 I was out and about recently in my "Trans Rights are Human Rights" shirt to support my 16 year old. A store employee saw my shirt, smiled at me, complimented my shirt and said "you look great" in a way that implied I was a Trans woman and showing her support. Not quite, but her heart was absolutely in the right place and it totally made my day. I have thought about that interchange dozens of times since and it keeps on making me smile.
I'm ftm and my deadname is typically a male name one time a teacher said to me (before I came out) that she had talked to someone about me and said that everything the person was saying about me was true but was using he/him pronouns for me so she asked what my pronouns were to make sure she was using the correct ones I had already realized that I'm trans but wasn't ready to come out yet and it pained me to say to her she/her I then came out to her like 3 weeks later and she was super supportive and was excited for me
Just a reminder
Trans fems, you look pretty and I hope you have a good day
Trans mascs, you look handsome and I hope you have a good day
People outside the binary, you look positively perplexing and I hope you have a good day
Xenogender people and non dysphoric trans people, your gender is valid and I hope you have a good day
Allys, I can’t tell you how much the little things mean and I hope you have a good day
(If this made your day please let me know it means a lot)
Hey ^w^ i'm transmasc and your comment did indeed make my day. Hope your days are great too. Keep going, you got this. Thank you for writing this
Thank you man, this did make my day!
as a xenogender user (i also identify as agender though) it made me so giddy to see someone include us like this, usually we are put on the back burner of advocacy due to our identities making cis people confused or seen as a 'chronically online' thing (,:
@@krimsonkatt did you miss the 'though' in my message? i included it because i identify as agender AS WELL AS xenogenders.. and yes, xenogenders ARE valid. especially for those of us with neurodivergencies that affect how we perceive and experience gender. it is a social construct. autism affects how autistics experience and relate to social constructs like gender. sometimes existing gender labels do not encompass what we feel to be our gender, so we create new lables and that is PERFECTLY okay. if your only contribution to this thread is going to be trying to invalidate other's identities just because you clearly do not understand them, then just stop mentioning me in your comments. i dont feel like putting up with that nonsense today. i promise you people with xenogenders know more about their gender and experience of such more than you do as an outside observer with clear biases against neurodivergent influenced gender identities. the fact you started trying to invalidate my identity in a youtube comment thread simply because i shared that i use xenogenders is so fucking weird and not your place to do so. i didnt ask for your input on if my real experience of gender is valid to you or not.
Thanks.
I've sworn on my grave to give my future child/children gender neutral names and the ones I've settled on (for now) is Jace and Avery :]
(also the thing with nonbinary people taking names from nature/fictional characters, I stole my name Dharrius from my relative who is named after the persian King Darius :])
I'll give my kids a gender neutral middle name so if they transition they can just swap.
@@squeaktheswan2007 I have a gender neutral middle name but I just named myself after a fictional character instead
Aw very cute names
Based (for obvious reasons)
The real question is: how many of us will name our children after youtubers-
shoutout to egg me for literally stating OUT LOUD that i would be totally chill if i woke up the next day in a male body and would then identify as a guy (in a cis way of course), and then secretly wishing for it. Because thats probably normal and a 100% cis thing to think
Ah yes, just en very day totally cis™ thing to want.
The enby equivalent of that for me and my partner was wanting to be a shapeshifter or a cloud or smth
lol. Shotout to egg me literally describing myself as being genderless but not getting it.
@@passionate_possum_pal this is a coincidence, but i do have a friend who goes by the name cloud online!
@@foxinabox5103 that's fantastic
Yeah I've realized I'm probably not 100% cis, because tbh I'd be down to swap bodies from female to male occasionally. I'm happy with my current body and identity and pronouns, but I also love roleplaying male characters in games and would be happy to be a guy sometimes. So I'm some mild flavor of enby I suppose!
Very time I have someone in my life that’s goes by a different Gender or sexuality I add their pride colours as a pin and add it to my backpack.
That really cool!
Wait are you making a collection of people labels then ? xD
@@akitokutikabanae7010 L 9! Is a gender thief, do not buy into their lies!! They've stole mine and hundred others, this is a warning.
Btw, i love what you're doing. They must be so happy seeing you did that :)
I guess you could say that you're carrying the LGBTQIA+ community _on your back._
Just a pun.
As someone who’s questioning their gender, these kinds of videos make me feel so much better! Thank you so much!
@The Werewolf of Somalia who's lies? Your own?
@@starbittenpixieboy thanks for expressing what we all thought
@@starbittenpixieboy don't even bother with them, their account was created only a few weeks ago and I remember the day their account first shown up
This isn't the first account that's had this name format at all and they've been doing this and making burner accounts since mid 2019
Buena suerte, I suppose
@The Werewolf of Somalia proof?
Jamie mentioned lgbtq+ peeps being attracted to the colors of their flags, and I realized that I never wore this much purple, grey, and black before I found out I was ace...
Wore purple, grey and black for years before I identified as ace. Great - I hate clothes shopping!
As someone who didn’t come out until 27 and is just shy of a year post top surgery, can confirm. You’re never *ever* too old :3
5:30 was probably about Celeste, where the transness of the character is never explicitly stated but is fully confirmed
Was looking for this comment! I didn't collect 175 strawberries to NOT talk about this game on every occasion. ;3
As someone who was an egg not too long ago, all of this is very relatable and true and thank you for telling people like me (who only figure it out when already adults) that we're valid. I remember spending years questioning (or maybe it's more accurate to say I kinda knew but I was too scared to come out to myself for fear of being fake/invalid), and it helps a lot to hear that it's never too late and that figuring things out later is okay, that it doesn't make you any less valid.
Jamie really is a great gender-neutral name, as I very recently realized: I was playing The Sims 4, and my character had an amab kid, whom I named Jamie. When Jamie became a child, I realized that the game had randomly decided to give "him" some *really* feminine outfits, and I was like "Oh cool, my family is already super queer anyway, might as well let Jamie be a trans girl". I then proceeded to change her pronouns to "she/her" (yes, that's a thing you can do now! :D), but forgot to come up with a new name for her. Upon realizing this after like an hour, I was like "Huh, all that time, 'Jamie' felt kinda right", so I just left it as it was ^^
I've never had sims randomly wear the "opposing" style (masculine/feminine). That's cool tho, I wish they added like a "come out" or "transition" option to the game. I also wish you could choose if your character is gay, bi or ace etc. especially since they bothered to put the pride flags in the game.
@@ellem8990 you can select their clothing preference i think
Also all sims are basically pan
@@WolfgangDoW I know you can select prefrence, but I understood it as their character changing prefrence on their own. I know all sims are basically pan, but you know sometimes I want to have a lesbian sim or ace sim and have them interact accordingly, without me having to actively control who they flirt with or if they flirt.
Okay, so I feel like I need to share a thing I experienced in Sim 3. Was my first family. Their first kid was adopted, second was a biological son. When the bio-son started getting old enough to get flirty, I noticed he was developing a relationship with another boy. Wasn't used to games allowing that, so was like, "Oh, cool, and they're a pretty cute couple, too."
Very shortly after I noticed this, the boyfriend got invited over to hang out. They were standing around flirting, then went to kiss each other, AND THE DAD JUST STARTS YELLING AT THEM. Both boys ran out of the room, the boyfriend ran out of the house, and I was just like "wtf just happened? This game also decide to include homophobia or something??" Luckily, it's Sims, and I was able to make the dad go apologize to them both, and there was no further issue after that.
Most everything past that was pretty wholesome. The adopted kid went on to have as big of a family as the game would allow. And those boys... Well, the bio-son was a vampire, like his dad; and when I got the expansion that allowed it, it seemed appropriate to turn his boyfriend into a faerie (partly because he already sort of looked the part, partly because vampires get a mood boost from fae blood, and partly because I wanted a faerie with pretty wings). They adopted a daughter who ended up a witch so she could turn her imaginary friend into a real person and marry them when she got older. The development process for imaginary friends is a bit unnerving, though...
Oh, I almost forgot... vampire-dad ended up dying when I wasn't paying him attention. Set his gravestone on the family property, which also enabled his ghost to sometimes wander the house at night. Found out that it's possible for a sim to give birth to a ghost baby.
The Sims games are wild.
@@SomeOnlinePerson oh!! the sims 3 is awesome!!! unfortunately my laptop can't handle it, so i resort to playing the sims 4.
i have a family that consists of a lesbian couple, where one of them is an alien that at some point passed away and joined back as a ghost, and the other is a human celebrity later turned into a vampire; their biological daughter and son; an android (from uni dlc, servobot?) built by the daughter; a kid birthed by the son bc aliens inpregnated him and so on..
i love this save file a lot, lol...
genuinely used to think all cis people liked it when they were misgenderd.
I feel like that's a very universal trans experience (liking it when people call you boy if your afab and girl if your amab)
one example is in maths class one time, I had a supply and they said young man to talk to me (I'd recently cut my hair short for the first time) and I just couldn't stop smiling to myself , like yes I tricked him! and then a year later I'm genderfluid, agender...
I'm genderflux, girlflux as an afab, so I definitely wouldn't say I'm trans, but I liked it when people misgendered me, too :)
@@ameliab324 Just want to make sure you know that while you definitely don't have to label yourself as trans, you *can* still use it if you find it useful. :) Basically includes anyone who doesn't feel that their gender consistently, wholly, and exclusively matches their assigned sex. Us -flux and -fluid people, along with demigenders and such, really pushed the definition to an extreme by just existing. ^^; (I'm "fluidflux," but I usually just say "non-binary," "genderfluid," or "genderqueer." At least the vagueness with those feels more understandably meaningful than "fluidflux," less niche Darmok stuff going on.)
@@SomeOnlinePerson What does flyidflux mean? Your gender is fluid to different extents at different times? Cause I don't really understand...
Yes, the term 'trans' is broad, I just feel like it doesn't fit people who don't transition well. They can identify as trans, but in my opinion more specific terms like e.g. non-binary, demigirl, boyflux are better than the huge umbrella term trans.
@@ameliab324 That's fair. :) I usually don't feel quite right saying I'm trans, either, just because I know the term will make most folks think of binary trans folks instead. ^^;
And yeah, fluidflux, or gender fluidflux means that both the gender and the intensity of it changes around. It's like having one of those color-changing lights, and it's also got a dimmer; it can be really bright on any of the colors in its range, and it can be really dim on any of the colors in its range, and basically everything between. Sticking with that illustration, my personal experiences have mostly settled among muddled color mixes that most seem to keep fairly "dim." Some "colors" will sometimes flare up to something much more distinct, though lately, the most noticeable instances of that tends to involve multiple very different "colors" trying to shine at the same time and being all confusing. Like, "c'mon, blue, orange, can you please figure out how to just take turns or something?"
I was bullied in school, and I obviously hated that - but some younger kids decided a way to try and pick on me was to ask me if I was a boy or a girl, and when I said anything in response, going "oooh, deep voice - BOY, THEN!" and running off. I wasn't offended or hurt by it specifically because, in a totally cis way, I wanted to be a pretty boy who was just so pretty as a boy that other boys would be okay with being gay for me. In a totally cis way, of course.
I'm genderqueer now, btw, and that feeling hasn't gone away! The only time I've not felt happy at being gendered as male is one time when I got gendered that way at a funeral.
I came out as a lesbian about a year ago and now I'm questioning stuff all over again, and with stuff I mean my gender this time. It's really hard rn. Even if I turn out to be cis or non-binary, just the possibility of thinking I might be trans made me realise how many social repercussions this would have (at least for me) and although I was definitely a trans ally before, I have double the respect for all of you wonderful people now. I don't know what the future brings for me, but I'm still cheering all of you on no matter which one it's gonna be.
5:15
In the amazing platformer game Celeste, which is about the main character climbing a mountain as a metaphor for overcoming her anxiety, you play as Madeline, whose transness is being hinted at at different points during the game and is confirmed in a cute little picture at the end where you can see her having a trans flag in her room. The developers have confirmed it as well. It is very possible to play this game and not realize that Madeline is trans at all, especially because you only get to see said image if you play through one of the hardest levels in the game, which you only unlock after beating a bunch of challenges.
10:13 - literally me. Found out what social dysphoria was, found that I ticked all the boxes and then the physical dysphoria came FLOODING IN
Re: not realizing immediately that a character is trans. There's a book by Haruki Murakami titled "Kafka on the Shore" and in this you get to know a very nice (male) librarian. The protagonist describes the face of that librarian as unusually beardless, but I didn't get the point of that until dozens of pages later. Two women visit the library and accuse the librarian of typical male sexism. And then he's like, "I'm not male." And like. That was a "Huuuuuuuh?" moment for me bc I didn't understand how HE could not be male. He drew out his ID in which he was still marked as "female". The book is not exactly nowaday's standards and probably gets some things wrong, but the libarian is actually a character that is not all about being trans, he has other characteristics and functions in the narrative. And even after the reveal, he is still adressed as a man by the protagonist, which is great.
5:49 this is actually how my friend came out to me, it was the first person who actually came out to me (as in with my other friends i just kinda became common knowledge, there was no big announcement moment to me specifically)... they asked "do you have any lgbtq+ friends?" and i was like "yeah i have a couple lesbian friends and asexual friends and trans friends" and they were like "well now you have a bi friend" 💗💜💙
The very first one I am like....I transitioned at 33 and feeling the best I've ever felt. No such thing as too old.
A gender-neutral name I like, Riley. It means angry, but I've met three Riley's and they're all cute dorks like me. Two of them were fictional characters, and one of them was my sophomore world history teacher. Guess which class I looked forward to every week?
I might be a bit biased here but Riley is a great name (that I definitely didn't steal)!
@@wilyriley_ That seems like an oddly suspicious denial...better not give you my name in case you're fae... 😛
Of course, I do have one to spare...still not giving either away though.😛
@@DrTssha the name Riley showed up on my doorstep long before this person made their post, so I wouldn’t worry about your name being stolen, but who knows?
My thing is that I had all those questioning phases and also denial, but I never had like heavy dysphoria. I was pretty lucky with the people I first came out to and most of my childhood friends were like "of course I look at you as a brother and not a sister"
My family is a different story but my mom has started making awkward jokes (though some of them I find quite offensive, but we're generally not getting along that well) and my grandma is just straight up toxic, but like towards everyone (she doesn't know)
"Too old" at 26 when my ftm arse didn't even start properly questioning until I was 31... trust me love, you're never too old (almost 2 years on T)
3:50 oh my goodness the number of times I've been publicly "mistaken" as a boy and people around me were either laughing or apologising when I was secretly loving it is astounding, I know the feeling xD
That shirt is amazing and I genuinely wish I could purchase it in my size.
Where can you buy them?
@@gasly1018 I don't know but I'd certainly love to find out.
dysphoria is so incredibly ick that I can't explain to my friends how icky it truly is, because the unfortunate thing is that they just can't understand, no matter how hard they try :( and try they do, I'm so glad I have them
it's still hard to talk about, so I usually don't, but sometimes it just needs to come out
all my close friends are cis but they are very gay so we all have that at least
Not only am I drawn to pride colored stuff, I often have the urge to *make* everything pride colored!
same I gay-ify anything I can
its never too late. long as there is breath in your lungs, you can move towards living your most authentic life.
About coming out later in life: there's a brazilian comics artist and journalist whom i think should be an international symbol for trans people. Her name is Laerte Coutinho, she's 71, and she was already one of Brasil's most famous artists (for a couple of decades) when she came out in 2010. She's part of a generation of comic artists known for strong political views and for pushing countercultural narratives and is also a historical leftist, who worked in the 70s for campaigns against the 1964-85 dictatorship and for trade unions, and later founded a comunication agency specialized on unions.
At first she began crossdressing and through that she was able to explore and understand her identity. In 2012 she cofounded an organization called Brazilian Transgenders Association, but I don't know if this organization still exists.
7:19
Here are some more gender neutral names :)
• Jackie
• Quinn
• Bex
• Kei/Kay
• Benny
• Robin
• Riley/Ryleigh
• Twig
• Danny
• River
• Moss
• Frankie
• Kris/Chris
• Taylor
(I just noticed that all of the names are small in length and a lot are nature or have w, x, y, and z) :3
Thanks! (I KNEW Twig was a name I KNEW it!)
No problem :)
another gender neutral name: hayden/haydn
hey Jamie, I'm a very quiet person and I came out to my parents and I said my pronouns are they/them but they claim they support but don't respect my pronouns, how do I speak up to them and defend my pronouns?
yo, another nonbinary person! I think it depends on the situation. For example, it took my mother quite some time before she could get my name and pronouns, and it's entirely possible they're just adapting to change. If you believe they truly do support you, then over time they will show it.
Personally, I'd say something like "oh, it's (insert your pronouns) by the way." or, "remember, it's (chosen name here). I don't know your parents so I of course can't give you an exact sheet on what to say, but that's what worked for me!
If your parents genuinely don't support you, then I'm very sorry. You deserve just as much love and support as everyone else, and if your parents refuse to give you that, then I hope you can find friends or other loved ones who will. Stay safe out there bud one enby to another :)
I can't offer any advice but I hope your parents come around soon. My sister's kid came out as non binary and gave her permission to share that with the fam. In the conversation I kept using they/them and she kept using he/him. I wish parents could imagine how they would feel if they were misgendered. 🏳️⚧️
I think it depends a lot on the situation, but when we were trying to get our family to adapt to Nev's pronouns of they/them, we made a point to not respond when they used the wrong name and pronouns, and if they kept insisting on doing it if it was malicious intent behind it, we would misgender them purposely when conversing so that they could realize more about how Nev felt with that moment of wrongness when they were getting the wrong pronouns used for them. It was maybe a little difficult to process at first, because we were still used to me being the host and not Nev, but eventually it got to the point that our siblings were using the correct pronouns and name and actively correcting our dad and his girlfriend when they would use the wrong terms. it does take a lot of time, and especially for someone whose core trait is usually meant to be kindness against all else, Nev definitely had a hard time with it. it does get better with time.
we hope this helps!
- B
@@muriel5826 Thank you for using their pronouns correctly! I hope their parents can understand, just like you said. Thank you for being an amazing Aunt/Uncle to them!
@@Detective_asparagus Thank you! I think my mom does support but idk. Its really frustrating cause she'll point out like pride month stuff from last month and be like "I'm glad trans ppl are becoming more recognized" but then just turn her back and say things a transphobic person would say.
3:37 while you were telling that story I kinda forgot you're trans, so my brain was just like "how often do people point out to a boy that he's a boy? But I guess that's something cis people can be happy abou---- wait a minute!"
I love these so much. As a 30yo pandemic baby trans, it feels so good and validating to see other folks sharing the same experiences that I have been having. Solidarity and love to all!
2:56 This was such a missed opportunity for saying "let's crack on" 😅
I'm fighting nail and teeth everyday for people around me to call me Aleks but since my full name is Aleksandra and I'm from Poland anyone Polish just assumes I'm fine with being called Ola and I'm usually too scared to correct them 🥲 the only upside is that I live in UK and I it's not hard to accept to non-Poles
I never understood how "Aleksandra" could become "Ola" ?? (I'm a french dude, but I knew someone a long time ago, who was coming from Austria, called the first one but preferring the "short version") sorry to Ask, but if you have the answer I would be really happy 😭
(I hope people around you will finally understand that you prefer Aleks, which is really really cool ! Glad non-poles do use the right name ❤️)
@@akitokutikabanae7010 I honestly have no idea, have been wondering my whole life. Aleks is masculine in polish so I get that, but it could have just gone to Aleksa to make it feminine, but no, it's Ola. Also Aleksander is not Aleks, it's Olek, so all of it just makes no sense
@@aleksishere Language is so strange sometimes... :') But thanks for the answer !
Nice to meet you, Aleks.
Cześć Aleksandra, co tam :D ?
The sheer joy on Jamie's face when he said 'it could say "construction complete"' just absolutely made my evening.
Technically not a trans character but
I recently started playing the tony hawks remaster and I accidentally made a female character with a beard in mens get up, didn't realise until I was changing the outfit later in the game.
Accidentally made a trans guy , am a trans guy, maybe I did it subconsciously.
Also this is a one time only comment about my dead name. -
Before I came out I used to go by Kim, when I came out people said why don't I keep the name as its gender neutral (obviously I didn't) but yeah thats a gender neutral name for you, spelt Kim or Kym :)
some gender neutral names for each letter of the alphabet:
al/alex
andy
ari
ash
avery
billie
blue
bobby
casey
charlie
chris
chuck
coda
dakota
danny
devin
dusty
el
elm
emery
francis/frankie
gale
gem
hal
harley
indie
izzy
jackie
jamie(!)
jean
jeri
jess/jessie
juni
kai
kelly
kim
kit
lake
les/leslie
mack
marty
max
matty
moe
morgan
nat
nicky
ollie
parker
pat/patty
quinn
raven
robin
riley
river
sam/sammy
sid/sidney
sky/skyler
taj
taylor
tommie
uri
val
wynn
xiao
yari
yue
zee
3:29
me in the closet the first time I cut my hair short and some weeks later a girl in my class said that I look like a boy as an insult and I turned my head to see her and then she felt bad for thinking it but I was like
"she actually thought I looked like a boy :D"
I was late to class and she didn't realized it was me and did the stupid joke she always has to do of pointing everything she sees and waiting till everyone starts laughing and she said something like
" oh a boy is lost and he went to the wrong class, haha I'm so funny",
then I sat in my chair and looked at her and she realized and feelt bad for what she said, me didn't realizing I was a girl for everyone except me was confused like
cis girls found "boy" an insult, if I knew that before I would realized a long time ago lol
For *years* before I realized I was trans, I was just... incredibly obsessed with the art-style of early CGA video games. Just that awesome color palette, that neon on black, that.... cyan, pink, and white.
they're just good colours, hush!
pride flags always have amazing colours/designs
like
- aroace (only a little bit of bias)
- both of the gays
- pan
- enby
- yumesexual (very unknown, also known as dreamsexual, nothing to do with Minecraft)
me with that one trans flag pokemon. i don't even like the colors of the trans flag but i was like "i just think it's neat" x)
@@buchelaruzit i'm guessing Sylveon?
I am 32 and I just started my transition this year! I do sometimes feel like I'm doing this "too late" but there is no such thing!
Congratulations!!!!!!! There really isn’t such a thing as too late ;)
@@seers1942 thank you!
You explaining how it’s okay to not realize something until you have something in the world to compare it too is also relatable as a person with chronic pain. I didn’t realize that people DIDNT have pain all the time until someone else with chronic pain described how it felt to make it relatable to a wider audience. After I read that I realized and eventually got diagnosed! It’s important to talk about our experiences and see other people talk about theirs, it can lead to a lot of self discovery and is good for us not just mentally but physically!
Most people take time and communication to realize that their experience is not universal! It is part of self-actualization and is a part of developmental psychology that persists for our whole life time! Your brain is not going to use precious energy making you figure out everything about everyone, so it assumes some things just ARE. Taking to time to talk about these things, chronic pain, allergies, mental health issues, gender identity, sexual orientation, opinions, reactions, can open the door to friendships, perspective, and general well being! Don’t be afraid to talk about things you might think are minor! Sometimes these small truths are the basis for greater understanding! Never stop questioning, and never stop growing! Every times you question or just talk about your experience, you could be helping someone become a happier, more confident, more included person!
Enbicious is the best lgbt pun I’ve ever heard today
I can give a couple of other puns:
If you are gay and alone you are homolone
If you are pan and everyone leaves you behind you are apandoned
If you are asexual and there is no one in your general vicinity you have been aceolated
If you are bisexual and single you are bi your self
Omg!!! I've never seen a sponsored ad for two dots!!! I've been playing that game for a couple years. I LOVE IT. Can confirm it is relaxing, fun, no pressure, and doesn't have hidden pay-to-play things. Love love love
I always love jammi's content! Takes my mind off of reality in the best way possible. 💚
"I'm old (26)"
Meanwhile I'm 31 and only just beginning to recognize my egg-ness
Me at 18: I'm straight and totally cis! But I'm a 100% Ally!
Me now: *Enby and pan* Yeah um... nope.
8:53 “Do not stress your little Patrick head about it” is my new fave way of saying “Don’t worry” :,)
1:37 ohhhh so that’s why I’m drawn to green, black white and gray it’s cause I’m agender lmaooooo
My dad caught me watching this, he’s definitely convinced that trans people are fake and the internet made me trans and “this stuff is horrible” um anyways I love your vids
Full love on you ❤️❤️ we do exist, we're not alone. YOU're not alone. Nor fake. Love ❤️❤️
You're valid ❤️ I hope things get better. There will always be others that can look out for you :)
Don't worry, bud. You're valid and real. It's just that small niche of crazies that tries to get to us, but they won't last long.
Props to your dad for trying to warn you. I'd suggest running from this culture while you still can.
Poor Dad
5:18 I know I’m not the first to say this but Celeste is an example! It’s one of my favourite games too and it explores the journey of the main character as she faces challenges and grows as a person. The story doesn’t focus on her transness nor is it her goal throughout the story, rather she just *is* trans, and we get to see her journey as she becomes a happier/better person.
my favorite part about realizing your identity is the amount of hindsight that comes with it. like you look back and it all seems so obvious now. i don't have many examples involving my gender that don't overlap with what could just be my autism affecting the way I view things but my bisexuality in particular has some moments where I look back and go "how did I not realize that sooner??"
Jamie, your shirt is absolutely fabulous! Let no tell you any different. I come here for the content and humour but also the outfits.
5:40 "My cis friends: it's nice that two of our trans friends felt safe enough to come out to us"..me "there's three actually". I laughed and cried at the same time, because that is exactly how I came out to two of my friends as trans.
I totally had a noticing the flag thing when I saw the professor for the new pokemon violet. You can't show me purple white grey and black and not have me see ace.
Jamie, if you want a game that you play as a trans character but you don't know until many hours in, Celeste is a really great platformer. it's hard as hell but it's a beautiful game with beautiful music and a great story
Best gender neutral name: Sasha. Pretty much everyone in my life calls me Sasha by now and I'm LOVING it!
Oh hey look at that. I agree, it's a great name!
(It's the name i chose btw, i'm transmasc ^w^)
Probably the only Gender neutral name from Slavic Country(Russia) , I could think about it
7:57 This is exactly how I realized I'm nonbinary
Jaime: there’s so many good gender neutral names. There’s also Charlie…
HE SAID MY NAME!!!!!
Every time I think of the concept of being an egg I think of
"The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world."
10:08 ... I mean... yeah yeah, definitely for some people it goes from "something feels wrong and off" to hitting you like a ton of bricks once you realize what feels wrong and off, not to dissimilar to like when you cut your hand and not realize and don't feel anything, then you feel your hand is wet and so you look down and realize ow I somehow cut it and then once you realize that you feel all the pain that you didn't realize before you knew. I know my experience was definitely blissfully ignorant for 20 years then 3 years of "am, am I? No that can't... am I?" to finally accepting who I am and then that is when things went from "wearing a slightly damp room temperature sock" level of uncomfortable to "there are small shards of broken glass inside your extremely damp cold sock" level of uncomfortable for the exact same things, it was and still is very weird things going from a mild discomfort to those exact same things being extremely uncomfortable when I stopped lying to myself about who I am.
Cis woman here, my whole childhood I was always jealous of the girls in books that had gender neutral or more masculine names, like Jem, Sam, Bill, Andy, etc
🤨 I go by Alex 🤦♀️
To be fair it wasn't until my teens that I started using it, but it wasn't until recently that I realised. I'm 44. 😂
Jamie you’re so right about people being drawn to things that are their flag color(s). I didn’t know I was asexual till about 4 years ago. Upon figuring myself out, I discovered a pair of socks that I bought 7-8 years ago for rollerblading were striped as the ace flag colors. My favorite pre-teen/early teen dress was a glittery purple hombre dress because it reminded me of the sky… and I’m a spACE ace!!
I have a enby joke,
How to 2 non-binary samurais fight?
They slash them
I have decided to make a list of all the times child me went "yep this is a completely normal cis thing to feel!" (that i can remember)
- asking my dad, 100% serious, "when i am gonna get my mustache?"
- insisting i was a "tomboy, not a girl"
- playing the guy character in minecraft story mode and claiming it was because the voice acting was better than the girl character (which, to be fair, is TRUE)
And just in general I always was confused on gender roles and such and why I "HAD" to be a girl. I also was raised in a very open-minded household. My mom was very open about things and made sure I didn't try to blindly follow what society says I should be. Helped a lot when I hit puberty and was suddenly struck with a tidal wave of negativity towards my changing body.
Not sure if I'm just a trans male or transmasc nonbinary but definitely not a girl 😅
And i have rambled again. oh well.
Dysphoria feels like you’ve got your clothes on backwards and two sizes too small
The third last and the penultimate memes really got me. I so remember my brain chattering to me like 2 troops of monkeys, one shouting "You're trans trans trans!" the other lot screaming, "Youre not trans, its not possible". The mrror thing oh god the mirror thing, I avoided looking in mirror like the plague. Now I I can look in a mirror and go "Yup that me and Im looking good!"
My guess is the game that was mentioned was Celeste, where the trans developer wrote the main character as trans without noticing it as first as they also were not aware that they were trans at the time. They later wrote a post talking about this.
dysphoria feels like you’ve get your hands up to your elbows in lukewarm chunky soup and then you find a piece of soggy bread and you for some reason rub it on your teeth
I think having a compelling character who is revealed to be trans after the player has already connected with them could actually do a lot to help make people more accepting. In the same way that Will & Grace and Modern Family helped to make people more familiar with gay men and more accepting as a result, that could help to shift people's perspectives on trans people.
I do have to point out that back when I was 24, I was playing an MMO and someone in the group asked my age. When I answered they responded, "Wow! I didn't know old people played video games!" I'm 40 now, so apparently I'm ancient.
ON topic however, I've questioned since I was young, but it was never an appropriate thing to question. Only now at midlife do we have the freedom to say "This isn't right, this is who I am and I'm allowed to be that!"
7:35 Noah, Jordan, Drew, Blake, Taylor, Spencer, River, Aspen, Billie
These are some gender neutral names I could come up with
Jumping on the "you are not too old to be trans" wagon: I was 31. I never felt like I did a good job of being a girl. When I was in highschool, all my friends agreed that I was more like a guy than a girl. It isn't that I didn't know I was non-binary. The term just didn't exist and I didn't know anyone else who felt the way that I did. It took me a long time to realize that what I was feeling fell under the trans umbrella, and to find the labels that felt right to me.
6:15 the amount of times I've misgendered myself lmaooo My sister has corrected me without noticing it was me before on discord xD The simultaneous "I love you so much" an "you little shit" energy fighting for dominance lol
My youngest (Mtf 14) finally opened up to me about things that were happening at school. They were outed about 4 months ago and had been facing bullying especially in the changing rooms at school. We talked about it together and I asked if I could tell his house leader in confidence in order to deal with the bullying and find a way of dealing with the changing room (they had always changed in the toilet cubicle but were Dow getting bangs on the sides and door and boys climbing to get a view over the top, of what they thought they might see I don’t know!)
My youngest then surprised me and kind of made me proud, they said they were done with it and wanted to properly come out at school, use their chosen name (Luna) and begin to socially transmission. That was nearly 3 weeks ago and they are so much happier and have found (as I knew he would in that school) that they had far more supporters and allies than hate and bullies and far more support from school then they thought. They are loving not being dead a Ed by teachers countless times a day!
As an Alex, I will agree, it is awesome name.
Also Sam is a cool gender neutral name. (Though I’d have to ask an NB if it’s they’re thing)
I remember instances in my childhood when I was being made fun of for being girly and I wasn't bothered by being girly or being called girly just by being made fun of like "why do you have the urge to hurt me over this :("