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If he’s acting distant, remove yourself from his everyday life ie stay busy at work, plan outings with friends, don’t respond to calls/messages, go on a trip but don’t tell him where or with whom - ANYTHING to make it clear that your life can go on perfectly well without him in it. Men are hunters and when their ‘supply’ (you) becomes scarce, they will do anything to get it back, trust me. Make him work to get your attention - it’s the ONLY way he’ll value you. And if you don’t live together, don’t be available for booty calls because that’s all you’ll ever be to him.
All true, but easier said than done, right? When all your body wants to do is close the space and repair the relationship. I’ve been in this boat with two avoidants before. I hung onto one for 5 1/2 years, and I don’t plan on hanging onto this one.
The way I'm dealing with it is by limiting any "going nowhere" conversations to a few months instead of years. If the situation doesn't move forward within a much shorter space of time, it's NEXT! In the past, I hung on way too long.
Jonathan, I just want to say thank you. And that you are right in saying that sometimes men become distant out of fear. And all it takes is just being honest to break that silence, which is what we are taught not to do. Thank you ❤️ of wasn’t for you I would of mirrored his silence instead i reached out… I got my answer now. Thank you 🙏
Before I met my wonderful Ed, I had finally learned to love myself. So when I went on Our Time out of curiosity it was just to meet new people, get to know them and see if it could develop into something. I ONLY responded to men who initiated contact. Ed was one of the first and lived only a half hour apart so we met 3 days later. We had a very comfortable rapport and it's grown so naturally. Bottom line--let go and it will come to you. ✨💖✨
You know, all your words are correct and true. My guy and I are over 60. Not the first relationship for either of us. Saying that, I am sick and tired of being punished for what others have done to him. I completely understand how our life experiences build up the walls we have for protection. God knows I have experiences that are as ugly as they get. But!! Saying that, I have asked my man to treat me like he treats his dog. Just hug me. No sex required. Just touch me with more than the back of your finger when you feel like it. I apologize to him for being selfish for being so needy. I apologize for asking more from him than he is comfortable with or just can't do. We were all born with a crack. I'm understanding with this. Ive told him that grumpiness is allowed. I'd be a major hypocrite if i required more. Speaking honestly and openly with love, kindness and understanding doesn't make a bit of difference. The loneliest feeling in the world is the desolation one has with the ONLY person one has prayed for all their life, only to realize that I forgot to pray for being loved the way I need to be loved, along with the kindness, and respect and acceptance for who I am. He is extremely kind and respectful, and excepts me for who I am. But as a woman, I am admitting my sin of wanting more touch. Wanting more vocalization that he finds me attractive. Wanting more vocalization that he appreciates my being in his life. I'm admitting my sin of wanting more than being a companion. Is this asking too much? It seems to be. I Cry myself to sleep most nights and if he asks me why I'm crying, I resorted to tell him that it's my disillusionments that break my heart. I make every commitment to not nag or complain. That's ugly. But with my man, the truth doesn't matter when it comes to me. I just want my feelings to be a priority. Your podcast on a man's silence is great. But a man with issues of commitment goes deeper than the 'norm'. I have done everything I can to make him feel loved and accepted and spoiled. Being in a one-way relationship with the kindest, gentle and respectful man doesn't go far if he doesn't get it. The one and single truth that came out of my mother's mouth is: "all men were hit in the head with the same hammer".
@@Orientalbackyardgarden I’ve never heard that saying before but my goodness it explains a lot! All men are children and lack so much maturity. They leach off the giving nature of women don’t they and consequently break our hearts. I’m going through this AGAIN and after I declared ‘no more’ a few years ago. But then I met someone who was a rarity and different. How wrong I was!!
I’m feeling sad missing my guy but it was for the best I broke up with him. He had too many issues. Biggest was porn addiction, his family being terribly controlling and rude to me, also everything was his world, his way, he wanted to get married and hadn’t even met my kids yet!! Crazy . I think he couldn’t afford to retire and wanted to Hold on to his lifestyle and needed my money, cooking, cleaning, etc. I do think he loved me; but just too many issues to Fuss with. We got along splendidly except for these issues. When I get sad, missing him, I look at myself in the mirror and say “my sanity is more important than the fun/joy/friendship I had”. Nothing is worth our sanity loss. Nothing. I would have spent more time worrying about his next “phone fling” and having to deal with that all the time. Ugh. Or His brat adult kids being rude, or his sisters being catty and rude to me. Ahhhhh I can breathe. I can choose someone better next time.
Even if it’s not his decision, it’s mine. The man can’t talk to you like you’re special to him you’re not. He’s just wasting your time and taking care of himself not you say goodbye and go on living live before you live without him.
Children of any age get protective about men. Mine are totally grown and educated and they are dubious about any man I show interest in.. with one exception, whom they admire.
Never ever let your kid's dictate your love life or any part of your life, for that matter! or be with a man that doesn't have a backbone to tell his kid's he lives his life on his terms, not on their whims or opinions!
@@LyndaBustillos-dd8wdamen amen amen. My past guy had 5 grown kids (married with kids all in 30s-40s) that absolutely dictated to him and he was a wimp as a parent. It ruined us. Among other things! Sad damn deal I tell ya…so many dynamics have to “work” and I’ve learned this the hard way!! Thx for sharing and all the best to you
@@Sharon-777 We don't want to be alone, or have been alone enough in life and tired of it. If you've been alone for a lengthy period of time, (for me it was 13 years) being part of a couple is a new perspective that you realize how much you've missed.
FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/
Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com
The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/
Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations
Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/
Join this channel to get access to perks:
ua-cam.com/channels/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1g.htmljoin
Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
Bless You ✨🙏🏻✨
👍
That's why having God at the center is so important 🤍✨🕊️
Yes indeed. God is most important !!! God will absolutely bless good!!! His will not ours !!
If he’s acting distant, remove yourself from his everyday life ie stay busy at work, plan outings with friends, don’t respond to calls/messages, go on a trip but don’t tell him where or with whom - ANYTHING to make it clear that your life can go on perfectly well without him in it. Men are hunters and when their ‘supply’ (you) becomes scarce, they will do anything to get it back, trust me. Make him work to get your attention - it’s the ONLY way he’ll value you. And if you don’t live together, don’t be available for booty calls because that’s all you’ll ever be to him.
All true, but easier said than done, right? When all your body wants to do is close the space and repair the relationship. I’ve been in this boat with two avoidants before. I hung onto one for 5 1/2 years, and I don’t plan on hanging onto this one.
The way I'm dealing with it is by limiting any "going nowhere" conversations to a few months instead of years. If the situation doesn't move forward within a much shorter space of time, it's NEXT! In the past, I hung on way too long.
Absolutely. Amen!!!!
So good . Radical honesty. ❤
@@lak1294 I agree 💯
Absolutely brilliant ! Better than all the other coaches on here
WOW, thanks 😊
God Bless You on your sneeze
🙏
Jonathan, I just want to say thank you. And that you are right in saying that sometimes men become distant out of fear. And all it takes is just being honest to break that silence, which is what we are taught not to do. Thank you ❤️ of wasn’t for you I would of mirrored his silence instead i reached out… I got my answer now. Thank you 🙏
I feel triggered when my man goes distant rather than keeping open communication. Happy Sunday dear Jonathon!
And I want to close the space and repair and communicate, rather than give him space.
What about after 10 years of being ok one minute and distant the next for no reason?
This is sinking in, Thank you!!
You bet!
Before I met my wonderful Ed, I had finally learned to love myself. So when I went on Our Time out of curiosity it was just to meet new people, get to know them and see if it could develop into something. I ONLY responded to men who initiated contact. Ed was one of the first and lived only a half hour apart so we met 3 days later. We had a very comfortable rapport and it's grown so naturally. Bottom line--let go and it will come to you. ✨💖✨
Yay!
💯🎯👍🏾
I ate!😄
🫡Thanks for always putting the truth on the table, Jonathan...👊🏾
Thank you JONATHAN I needed to hear this. ❤
WOW, thank you 😊
Thank you so much for your insight and sharing this information!
You are so welcome!
I bought that book by Gary Zukav before I found you Jonathan. Now I need to read it.
You know, all your words are correct and true. My guy and I are over 60. Not the first relationship for either of us. Saying that, I am sick and tired of being punished for what others have done to him. I completely understand how our life experiences build up the walls we have for protection. God knows I have experiences that are as ugly as they get. But!! Saying that, I have asked my man to treat me like he treats his dog. Just hug me. No sex required. Just touch me with more than the back of your finger when you feel like it. I apologize to him for being selfish for being so needy. I apologize for asking more from him than he is comfortable with or just can't do. We were all born with a crack. I'm understanding with this. Ive told him that grumpiness is allowed. I'd be a major hypocrite if i required more. Speaking honestly and openly with love, kindness and understanding doesn't make a bit of difference. The loneliest feeling in the world is the desolation one has with the ONLY person one has prayed for all their life, only to realize that I forgot to pray for being loved the way I need to be loved, along with the kindness, and respect and acceptance for who I am. He is extremely kind and respectful, and excepts me for who I am. But as a woman, I am admitting my sin of wanting more touch. Wanting more vocalization that he finds me attractive. Wanting more vocalization that he appreciates my being in his life. I'm admitting my sin of wanting more than being a companion. Is this asking too much? It seems to be. I Cry myself to sleep most nights and if he asks me why I'm crying, I resorted to tell him that it's my disillusionments that break my heart. I make every commitment to not nag or complain. That's ugly. But with my man, the truth doesn't matter when it comes to me. I just want my feelings to be a priority. Your podcast on a man's silence is great. But a man with issues of commitment goes deeper than the 'norm'. I have done everything I can to make him feel loved and accepted and spoiled. Being in a one-way relationship with the kindest, gentle and respectful man doesn't go far if he doesn't get it. The one and single truth that came out of my mother's mouth is: "all men were hit in the head with the same hammer".
🙏
"All men were hit in the head with the same hammer"...I would have loved to meet your mom, take care ❤
@@Orientalbackyardgarden I’ve never heard that saying before but my goodness it explains a lot! All men are children and lack so much maturity. They leach off the giving nature of women don’t they and consequently break our hearts. I’m going through this AGAIN and after I declared ‘no more’ a few years ago. But then I met someone who was a rarity and different. How wrong I was!!
❤@@jennedify
Why do you keep seeing him you seem miserable time to say goodbye
Watching the replay missed you by minutes! Have a lovely Sunday 😊
I’m feeling sad missing my guy but it was for the best I broke up with him. He had too many issues. Biggest was porn addiction, his family being terribly controlling and rude to me, also everything was his world, his way, he wanted to get married and hadn’t even met my kids yet!! Crazy . I think he couldn’t afford to retire and wanted to
Hold on to his lifestyle and needed my money, cooking, cleaning, etc. I do think he loved me; but just too many issues to
Fuss with. We got along splendidly except for these issues. When I get sad, missing him, I look at myself in the mirror and say “my sanity is more important than the fun/joy/friendship I had”. Nothing is worth our sanity loss. Nothing. I would have spent more time worrying about his next “phone fling” and having to deal with that all the time. Ugh. Or
His brat adult kids being rude, or his sisters being catty and rude to me. Ahhhhh I can breathe. I can choose someone better next time.
Even if it’s not his decision, it’s mine. The man can’t talk to you like you’re special to him you’re not. He’s just wasting your time and taking care of himself not you say goodbye and go on living live before you live without him.
Bless you...😉
Thank you 😊
Read as much as we could here. Best of Luck.
Well I found out last night that the contentious kids finally want to meet me before my boyfriend and I leave for the cruise on August 3rd.
Interesting
Children of any age get protective about men. Mine are totally grown and educated and they are dubious about any man I show interest in.. with one exception, whom they admire.
Never ever let your kid's dictate your love life or any part of your life, for that matter! or be with a man that doesn't have a backbone to tell his kid's he lives his life on his terms, not on their whims or opinions!
@@LyndaBustillos-dd8wdamen amen amen. My past guy had 5 grown kids (married with kids all in 30s-40s) that absolutely dictated to him and he was a wimp as a parent. It ruined us. Among other things! Sad damn deal I tell ya…so many dynamics have to “work” and I’ve learned this the hard way!! Thx for sharing and all the best to you
Wait til ya get back so they can’t ruin your mood or fun!!!
Hunting for Buffalo 😂
Leaning into the sovereignty of you is such a négociable
Self love means self respect
So true 👍
Absolutely I don't understand why women continue to stay in these unfulfilled relationships and then blame the men
@@Sharon-777 We don't want to be alone, or have been alone enough in life and tired of it. If you've been alone for a lengthy period of time, (for me it was 13 years) being part of a couple is a new perspective that you realize how much you've missed.
What about long distance and getting to know each other? Suggestions
Pray... pray a lot. 🙏🙌🙏
I hope these are your text bot responses bc most of them make no sense.
From the ductape 😅
❤😊