Why Being DISAGREEABLE Makes You A Better Person..
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- Опубліковано 24 гру 2022
- Why Being DISAGREEABLE Makes You A Better Person..
Welcome back to Pursuit Of Meaning. Agreeableness and disagreeableness are two facts that might overlap at some points but still conflict on some points. If we talk about genders, men are less agreeable while women are more friendly and understanding. There is a very less middle in the case; both the genders are at their extreme. This is the fact behind the reason that more men are in jail as prisoners as compared to women.
If there is an agreeable person, he agrees, and it is convenient to talk. This can be bad at times. Jordan offers the example that if you are an employee and want a salary increase, this might become hard for you to get a salary increase. A disagreeable person is more likely to make correct statements and get a boost. But being too unpalatable can put you in trouble, or you may get fired. It is better to maintain a relationship between both. Stick around for this video for further details on Jordan Peterson's explanation why you need to be a 'disagreeable' person.
#JordanPeterson #DisagreeablePerson #Psychology
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I'm 66 years old, retired now. I'm highly agreeable (unusual for males). I wish I had been more disagreeable in my life. I'm now leaning into assertiveness as much as I can. Jordan is SO right about trying to stretch out of your comfort zone into the areas that are not comfortable for you (agreeable people learning to be disagreeable and vise versa). It's a work in progress for me. I'm learning to speak my mind better....wish I'd have done this sooner in life. Listen to this man. He's a gem.
Learn what dissagreable people do. Everything what makes them nasty. Incorporate what you feel confortable with, one step at a time.
What about distance nasty ppl since you re retire and you don’t have to concern if they would affect your life!! We don’t really need anyone if they make us uncomfortable, let alone all the time…
@@recuerdos2457 I don't have any idea what you're trying to say. Could you reword your post so that I can understand it (and potentially reply)?
I agree with you.
I learned that the thing is not to be static in your level of agreeable or disagreeable behavior.
It’s about being able to adjust the level to the situation at hand so it serves you well.
@@Hans_Magnusson VERY well said...!
Just look at Jordan Petersons own situation. He became disagreeable.
If it wasn't for his conflict with his principles on freedom of linguistic freedom i wouldn't be as smart as I am now because I was lucky enough to have been ntrouduced to him. If it wasn't for his disagreeable ways, he'd probably still be stuck, teaching in a college classroom instead of to the billions of people who fell in love with him!! He is my absolute favorite
Is there a slight difference between disagreeable and be standup for yourself?? I think both Agreeable and disagreeable personality should not be encouraged… just be assertive and have principles like Peterson.
@@recuerdos2457 I think he's saying that if you're too agreeable (non assertive), you need to push yourself to become more disagreeable (assertive). It's all on a continuum.
@@recuerdos2457I would say no, you should imho be able to adjust to the situation. Sometimes being agreeable is good, sometimes it is not. The same goes for disagreeable.
People are imho too afraid of conflict for different reasons. Sometimes it is a culture thing ie you are brought up and fostered by your parents and your social network to avoid speaking up.
Swedish people are infamous for not speaking up, but go home and mumbling and cursing,!knyter nävrarna i byxfickan .
That is just so annoying, because you have no clue that there’s a problem to attend to, until you are stabbed in the back months or years later.
So being able to adjust to the situation is good.
Don’t be afraid of offending someone else. It is when you disagree about something that there is an opportunity to grow. Not only if you were right, but especially if it turned out you were wrong. If you dare to admit to being wrong, you know have new knowledge and you can do new things.
Be yourself. I take care of my interests. I know what I want and how to get it. I will engage in conflict if I think it is important to express myself and meet my needs. You do not have to be rude or mean, but it is important to tell your truth.
Good advice
Being disagreeable got me into being hated,feared and listened to at the same time. People forget that nothing gets done unless someone is ready to fight for it to be done. Imagine Noah having to explain to people around him the logic of building an arc on top of a mountain. How insane is that. I imagine him saying shut up and get me more wood.
being disagreeable got you being an asshole, basically? You kick, punch, yell, insult and abuse people right?
How the heck did you get feared??
being diagreeable has got me hated, mocked, made fun of, and looked down upon, and ignored. because no one wants to listen to a whiner. the Noah situation is not the best case because people already considered him crazy for building a boat in the desert, if he went and did that they'd think he was the dangerous type of crazy. what ive learned, its always better to be civil. Peterson greatly confuses the definition of "agreeable" and "disagreeable". agreeable simply means a pleasant person while "disagreeable" means unfriendly and bad-tempered. lovely way to be.
@@theboogeyman2590Peterson doesn't confuse that at all. He puts a great deal of clarity to it and properly discerns the two attitudes. I think you're confused. I think maybe you need to listen to more Dr Jordan Peterson
@@theboogeyman2590 I don't normally get involved in these types of discussions (I'm agreeable) but in way I view this, you are incorrect. Agreeable and Disagreeable can both be civil wile agreeable lacks the image ability to be Disagreeable. If you CAN be Disagreeable and choose to be agreeable, this is in essence, what I believe that Mr. Peterson is presenting to us. I have learned to be Disagreeable when need be which has made me incredibly more successful, motivational, and respected. I can be heard when need be but I can also listen and function within a team well. I can lead by positive example while being receptive to others, including "inferiors" feed back. I have the ability to acquire emotional credit with people while my assertiveness has lain paths for others to follow. This whole concept surrounds Peterson's ideology that you need to be able to be a monster. To think that this is mindset is a mental illness is to be wholly ignorant of the complexities of human behavior and just how our actions and attitudes toward situations (good and bad) are able to affect situations. This happens whether we want it to or not. The use of Peterson's basic concepts can very profoundly have a positive and lasting influence on the individual and the world surrounding the individual. Mental acuity is not a mental illness as someone earlier mentioned and mental illness does not usually coincide with mental acuity. I onlyean to share my opinion with this post and my apologies for using a response to you to do so. I hope this finds you well and may God bless you.
Amazing words of wisdom. I knew this, but having somebody verbalize it in a structured order, gives validity. Thank you, Mr. Peterson.
Golden, as always!!! So much good life advice here
To learn to be more disagreeable, I’ve been debating online strictly against trolls on videos of Palestinians suffering. I already have the trait agreeableness so I am motivated to debate for the cause for empathy and understanding. I know I was just an individual “sjw,” however useful. I’m done with that lesson now. I have other things to do. Due to my neuroticism, dealing with the anger about this issue helps too. My refugee family is from a heavily bombed country but I no longer get uselessly triggered. This has helped me in real life conversations
Don’t forget that Hamas kidnapped and killed a bunch of people and kids first. People tend to gloss over that little fact. It’s funny that nobody had a problem with the bombing of Hiroshima after the USA experienced the bombing of Pearl Harbor, yet it’s the same concept. If you don’t want extreme retribution, don’t bomb a sleeping giant.
Man, I don't know. I'm for sure above average on disagreeableness, but I feel it did me a lot of disservice in my career. It has been more positive in friend/ family relationships in the long run. I find problems in work that even others can see clearly. But nobody will say anything. The last one was that I saw a serious security risk in the building I worked in. Someone high up had made a lot of changes. I described the problem twice to the guy running security, but he just basically threatened to get me fired if I didn't shut up. I immediately quit instead of agreeing. Three weeks later, lots of people were shot up because a desperate person walked right in with zero resistance. It's a hell of a thing to see things, but nobody will listen.
Gosh, I so relate to your experience. I also keep discovering various types of breaches and security issues (different types to what you're dealing with), and I've been told numerous times to keep my mouth shut and that nothing could possibly be done to fix these issues. I hate the idea of just dropping the issues because I can always see a solution.
A few years ago, I unwittingly mentioned something to an internal auditor (I didn't know who she was), and she then introduced herself and asked me for the details. I wrote a wee project proposal that would address and fix the data security issues. Guess what happened next. My manager put her name on that proposal and claimed the ideas as hers. A team was delegated to work on this project, and when we first got in a room together, the rest of the team were asking loads of questions. I knew all the answers but stayed quiet to see what my manager would do, she claimed these were her ideas after all. She kept looking at me for the answers. Eventually, I decided to work on this project and let her take the credit - for the greater good - but I still feel nauseated about this whole thing years later.
I have no idea how I could have handled it better without being a dick. Although, I guess what JP is saying here is that being a dick is not such a bad thing sometimes...
@@katharina... I'm SO disagreeable, I would interrupt the manager and publicly (in front of other employees) say "Why do you keep looking at me? Is it because you know I understand this, since it's my idea and you stole it from me?" Not in an upset voice, just rather blandly. And just watch to see what happens.
Only later would I think "Gee, I should have said that kindly so I could at least INVITE the despicable manager to gently let me have the credit." Hoping for the best in that scenario.
Wow, I'm touched. Finally, I'm being noticed for my attributes.
This is amazing
You agree with people, they call you a pushover, you disagree with them, they call you arrogant. You cant win
I am agreeable at work because in reality you have no control over management and their decisions. I have had bosses persecute you because of being disagreeable. I work in an industry often managed by ego driven workplace psychopaths.
Yes! But do it anyways
Sure, sounds like fun.
Brush up your resume and find a job at a different company.
what is your industry
Really love this cause am very agreeable myself
wow. so much ideas compressed in 12 minutes
I try being agreeable, but what happens at times is I feel trampled upon. Then I become disagreeable , this means I'm out of my comfort zone, then I am stressed, it's not good for me. But in hindsight I feel its important to fight back when I see destruction and injustice. I usually fight for the common good eg, pointing out destruction of trees, vegetation for development of ugly soulless builds.
I think you have to be disagreeable to bring out the best in people at work, things don't get done otherwise.
That video was so useful
There's a difference of being disagreeable and argumentive٫ agreeable and able to have compliancy.
Brilliant
Practising disagreeable person 1., meet well seasoned disagreeable person 2. Let the war begin😢. Inevitable outcome.
Im highly agreeable and i know what i want and does not involve people
As a highly disagreeable person I respect that.
Your’e always going to need things from other people, don’t fool yourself
Can't find one speech on UA-cam anymore without music.
"The best personality predictor of being imprisoned is to be low in disagreeableness. It makes you CALLOUS" not "kill us" you goofballs.
Sometimes I can’t think well enough to disagree with someone. Need to know a lot about things to argue. I don’t really get angry because I am worried I will loose at the argument look stupid.
Why would you want to be nice person then? It seems that trait is not conducive to be able to function in society. And people can't understand why the world is always at war. Isn't war the ultimate expression of not being shoved around?
Being a "nice person" or agreeable is a virtue in a lot of situations. You are able to partner better in a reciprocal relationship and make sure the groups needs are met (which outside of society is very useful.) As well as investing yourself in friendship with man and beast an being able to win others over by making the initial sacrificial offering of reciprocation. This is a function of generative and creative existence as opposed to predatory and consumptive existence. This when paired with conscientiousness makes a highly valued member of the group. This can and does get exploited though so its not all win.
So in short it has a myriad of advantages in a non atomized society. I believe your false assumption is that an atomized and thereby selfish society where disagreeable folks have an advantage due to not needing others for day to day survival in the same way as the distant past is the evolutionary norm or sustainable.
if you wish to know what traits are valued by existence look at their distribution %s and intensity through the populace, The rare traits are held in reserve in case things change so humanity can adapt to the new situation. The common ones are selected for by current reality.
It’s more that you can find out where it works and continue to do what comes naturally, but also be aware of where it doesn’t work (e.g career) and adapt. As an agreeable person it’s been really helpful to set boundaries in my personal life too.
You’re bang on, Alstclair.
I can tell you this as someone who is lowest 1 percentile in trait agreeableness that if my city declares war unfairly on a neighbouring city I would pack my bags and fight for that neighbouring city.
The way I see it 80% would fight for ‘loyalty’ rather than true good.
Encouraging ppl to think and speak up might create problems for managers at work and dictators in nations… it’s ppl’s choice to be sheeps or less sheeps…
I complained about a female worker using a broom to sweep the table in our hospital canteen. Am I disagreeable?
I’m in the bottom 9th percentile of agreeableness and bottom 2nd percentile of politeness , what causes trouble is politeness, I’m always sabotaging the peace, it’s awful
Correction to the subtitles at 1:09: "It makes you callous"--not kill us and "some are switched on" (9:12) not summer switched on.
Your insights are enlightening and powerful; similar to a book that was enlightening and powerful. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
I want Jordan Peterson, raw.
The title of this video is misleading. Neither agreeable or disagreeable is good nor bad. They have their strengths and weaknesses.
Not interested in being that way
Being disagreeble is always good for Jordan , a part with women , because in that case you being a man must be the best yourself and work hard in order to satisfy them, and not pretend what you deserve from them at a cheaper right cost. So mr Jordan men and women must be a balanced team or not?
Yes, men have the burden of performance, but get to be disagreeable to call the shots
@@Im_Really_Jesus_4real if modern woman is trash , men should not give her his best because what she deserves is to desappear forever.
What it you're all the things?
Introverted AND extroverted, agreeable AND disagreeable, conscientious AND not conscientious?
Always downvote these auto-generated videos. 1:08 "it makes you kill us" instead of "it makes you callous".
"Callous," not "kill us."
And as in the beginning, we are 2 serve 1 master 4 1st AllMightY Plan ❤️🌼🌸💕💕🌸🌼❤️
Sheep, Sheepdogs, Wolves
I'm a disagreeable person.
It's not totally true. I mean people doesn't like receive our true thought, if we do conflict to people and they don't like it, they cut you of their life without discuss.
It's not that people doesn't like conflict, people don't give time anymore and wants only what they want (sorry for my english im not native)
Is agreeableness linked to lack of confidence in oneself: lack of courage, fear of displeasing others and other similar traits? Many of which arise when one has been raised by an enmeshing (all-devouring) mother. For these poor individuals just making a decision is agony, in case they get it wrong and then love is withheld until she decides she can love the child again.
I have a fear of displeasing others and I’m not agreeable. I am courageous but I do have a lot of anxiety.
I have so much anxiety and in work environments I lack confidence, I second guess myself constantly. I fear poor performance and being judged it’s so crippling, I hate conflict, I’m way too agreeable and put others comfort ahead of myself
If being agreeable and lack of confidence make you feel bad about yourself, it might be time to consider to change yourself … have a growth mindset, it will take times, but a little improvement here and that is far better than being a victim.
Once again, Peterson antagonizes rather than illuminates; encourages worship of emotions rather than intelligence; declares he knows the answer to something that's a plain lie; promotes himself as the sage, even though he cannot stand next to anyone who requires him to be clear and back up his statements with actual evidence. He is a con man, first and foremost. And once again "There's a sucker born every minute." P.T. Barnum
0:53.
That's still not always true.
There probably are many VERY disagreable women, and many VERY agreable men even if VERY disagreable women, and VERY agreable men are a very rare thing, I still think that they must exist out there somewhare.
Even if it's extreamly rare.
Do you understand what a statistic is?
So this must’ve been what happened to Prince Harry, and his wife, they each weren’t socialized by four years of age.
Damn this would have been great if not for that depressing mood music.
The background music absolutely ruins it. Totally pointless
1:14 “callous” NOT “kill us” wtf
I will criminalise trading games and everyone will be criminalised individualised because that's crime really..
What
@@wreckitjax let me explain, I am blocked and abused by profanest vulgar inhumane murderous criminals in net. The criminals were with encrypted url and the criminals abuse me with ugliest words, intimidating stuff and are murderous calloused dressed decent. The psyche is polygamists what's for HIV people exactly . Or abusive subconsciously. I can't get thst but I know it's criminal psychology of individuals. It's profane and vulgar. I have aversions too severe and I have vomiting and nausea to extreme level on any humans too in suspension that they might be polgamists that are thst PSCHE with STD. I really am aversive to polygamists as I am nurse and have real aversions too loud. And I have aversion to money launderings games and such people too.. That's why I opted nursing too. So, I have to criminalise criminals that are so aversive to me for me to be sane really. I am really a monogamist perfect real authentic person, that is mocked by very filthy beings, abused by the criminals, liar's mobbed, thst are slandering my decent real life pure pristine reals, my dignity reals, my decency reals.... Its a must to me to get the criminals that have messed my reals, as who they are that lied about my monogamist perfect life pure pristine reals . That's why I wrote that, i see such talks and threaptic ones everywhere.. Literally everywhere . I try to shout truths loudest possible. Afterall criminals lie mobbed slandering my decent real life have so much courage to live life too... Afterall criminals.. . Afterall so filthy..
As a content creator myself, it drives me crazy that the people that make these videos don’t proofread the subtitles they put on the screen. What’s up with that?
I think you mean content creator.
@@rhoelcruz3480 LOL the irony!
The university lectures I watch have the same problem. It's actually pretty funny. Who knew AI could pun?
It is Cap Cut which auto generates the titles. I used to think they were written by illiterate degenerates but it is the creator who is bieng lazy and auto generates the titles.
The text on screen:
"it makes you kill us"
Uhh..... I think you mean callous..
An iddle mind is the devil's playground
THATS NOT GOING TO MAKE IT BETTER IF THERES NO EFFORT ON THE PARENTS PART I DONT CARE HOW TIRED THEY ARE FROM WORK YOU ARE A PARENT DO THERE JOBS .
how about the joker?
It makes you kill us or callous? Automatic subtitles. Sloppy.
think about it this way: being agreeable is not a personality trait, but rather a social skill that will get you farther in life than being disagreeable.
Being agreeable will not get you further in life at all
I have an extremely disagreeable ex , he was so disagreable, that he could not accept any official decision and in this way he became full of debt, lost his licence, and he renounced to his lost job too. Beeing agreeable in social scale may be helps, may be you are used but is harder to lose a job and you can build a secure life.
@@dereksmith2137I disagree 😂😂😂
@@dereksmith2137we have saying quiet river break through mountains.Other qualities r asked with it.But critical thinking is also very important.But beeing disagreable with tact is better to be said
It depends! Going extreme is always bad. Some disrespectful ppl especially need us to tell them how to behave in front of us…
No thank you and walk away. Never need to say more than that!
ai?
🫡❤️
Correction: Being DETATCHED makes you a better person
Better? If you are truely detached and you enjoy the state of blissfullness it does not mean you are a better person. It depends on your vision and commitment to follow-it through. Being detached is just an advantage: it hurts, but bothers you less which might be viewed upon as inhuman etc..
@@dickbakker1035 detatched = unbothered, not hurt
Do you think an abusive/exploitative person would deem it "better" when one is disagreeable? It's a conflict of interests.
Being noticably disagreeable, one still showing to affectable and is giving power to the other person.
There is no personality trait that doesn't have both pluses and minuses, including those of perfectionists deciding they can and/or are able tell us what corrections are absolutely appropriate or not.
Being detached from your passion will kill your ass. Makes you weak and reprehensible. Being detached from emotions, I can respect that but you gotta add in some fiesta in there too. Like fuck it, I could get high and still be more grounded than most of you
To detach is to atach
TRUMP IN 24 👉💪🇺🇲
Im 25, always been agreeable. That changed when i had my first kid and when she was 1, a lady shushed my wife for singing to her while she ate at Panera Bread…. no longer agreeable. Lol
I rank top 95 percentile in assertiveness, top 99 percentile in disagreeableness and I’m fucking proud of it. I’m disrupting a whole trade within my own city, I’m only 19, the teachers can go fuck themselves, they told me to play life safe. Now I’m improving their lives by selling a more affordable product (I sold a product to one of my past teachers just 6 days ago).
Please stop adding music to these. We come here for what Peterson has to say, the music just makes it cringey.
It's a well known fact mental illness in the home is often directly proportional to how disagreeable your parents are. Here we have a psychologist promoting mental illness in everyone's home.
Drug Addicticted parents is the main cause of childhood trauma not ‘disagreeable parents’.
My disagreeable father has disciplined me when I was going astray and I’m forever grateful.
Yeah, sure.. But be careful and watch out against whom you are. Peterson should restrain his gigantic ego and mouth. People could ruin their lives because of someone like Peterson. Stop with this working class hero bullshit.
Being disagreeable actually helps protect you from predators..
Socially desirable by the age of 4 huh? Well tough luck for me coz my father had his own interests put forward instead of mine, deadbeat dad who did nothing to help raise me. Was a social reject growing up but taking steps as an adult to be more social with people.
Jesus, I despise youtubers putting random carbon copies of stock footage with no depth, emotion and feel to it. Infographics is hard so I’ll just slap some shit together and call it a day
I would prefer no music and not such emtionally-charged video footage on top of it. Preferably original video footqage of JBP, if any..
@PursuitofMeaning