I'm 66 years old, retired now. I'm highly agreeable (unusual for males). I wish I had been more disagreeable in my life. I'm now leaning into assertiveness as much as I can. Jordan is SO right about trying to stretch out of your comfort zone into the areas that are not comfortable for you (agreeable people learning to be disagreeable and vise versa). It's a work in progress for me. I'm learning to speak my mind better....wish I'd have done this sooner in life. Listen to this man. He's a gem.
What about distance nasty ppl since you re retire and you don’t have to concern if they would affect your life!! We don’t really need anyone if they make us uncomfortable, let alone all the time…
I agree with you. I learned that the thing is not to be static in your level of agreeable or disagreeable behavior. It’s about being able to adjust the level to the situation at hand so it serves you well.
Be yourself. I take care of my interests. I know what I want and how to get it. I will engage in conflict if I think it is important to express myself and meet my needs. You do not have to be rude or mean, but it is important to tell your truth.
Just look at Jordan Petersons own situation. He became disagreeable. If it wasn't for his conflict with his principles on freedom of linguistic freedom i wouldn't be as smart as I am now because I was lucky enough to have been ntrouduced to him. If it wasn't for his disagreeable ways, he'd probably still be stuck, teaching in a college classroom instead of to the billions of people who fell in love with him!! He is my absolute favorite
Is there a slight difference between disagreeable and be standup for yourself?? I think both Agreeable and disagreeable personality should not be encouraged… just be assertive and have principles like Peterson.
@@recuerdos2457 I think he's saying that if you're too agreeable (non assertive), you need to push yourself to become more disagreeable (assertive). It's all on a continuum.
@@recuerdos2457I would say no, you should imho be able to adjust to the situation. Sometimes being agreeable is good, sometimes it is not. The same goes for disagreeable. People are imho too afraid of conflict for different reasons. Sometimes it is a culture thing ie you are brought up and fostered by your parents and your social network to avoid speaking up. Swedish people are infamous for not speaking up, but go home and mumbling and cursing,!knyter nävrarna i byxfickan . That is just so annoying, because you have no clue that there’s a problem to attend to, until you are stabbed in the back months or years later. So being able to adjust to the situation is good. Don’t be afraid of offending someone else. It is when you disagree about something that there is an opportunity to grow. Not only if you were right, but especially if it turned out you were wrong. If you dare to admit to being wrong, you know have new knowledge and you can do new things.
One of many ways to judge ( or to understand people, that would be more polite way of saying ) people is by how much harmony does a person has with his thoughts words and deeds ... And my friend Dr Peterson rules here, he says what he thinks and does what he says ..... That's a hell lot of a heck to do ....
The trick is to be charming and socially diagreeable at the same time. Being openly hostile is idiotic because that would not serve your purpose at all.
I am agreeable at work because in reality you have no control over management and their decisions. I have had bosses persecute you because of being disagreeable. I work in an industry often managed by ego driven workplace psychopaths.
Being disagreeable got me into being hated,feared and listened to at the same time. People forget that nothing gets done unless someone is ready to fight for it to be done. Imagine Noah having to explain to people around him the logic of building an arc on top of a mountain. How insane is that. I imagine him saying shut up and get me more wood.
being diagreeable has got me hated, mocked, made fun of, and looked down upon, and ignored. because no one wants to listen to a whiner. the Noah situation is not the best case because people already considered him crazy for building a boat in the desert, if he went and did that they'd think he was the dangerous type of crazy. what ive learned, its always better to be civil. Peterson greatly confuses the definition of "agreeable" and "disagreeable". agreeable simply means a pleasant person while "disagreeable" means unfriendly and bad-tempered. lovely way to be.
@@theboogeyman2590Peterson doesn't confuse that at all. He puts a great deal of clarity to it and properly discerns the two attitudes. I think you're confused. I think maybe you need to listen to more Dr Jordan Peterson
@@theboogeyman2590 I don't normally get involved in these types of discussions (I'm agreeable) but in way I view this, you are incorrect. Agreeable and Disagreeable can both be civil wile agreeable lacks the image ability to be Disagreeable. If you CAN be Disagreeable and choose to be agreeable, this is in essence, what I believe that Mr. Peterson is presenting to us. I have learned to be Disagreeable when need be which has made me incredibly more successful, motivational, and respected. I can be heard when need be but I can also listen and function within a team well. I can lead by positive example while being receptive to others, including "inferiors" feed back. I have the ability to acquire emotional credit with people while my assertiveness has lain paths for others to follow. This whole concept surrounds Peterson's ideology that you need to be able to be a monster. To think that this is mindset is a mental illness is to be wholly ignorant of the complexities of human behavior and just how our actions and attitudes toward situations (good and bad) are able to affect situations. This happens whether we want it to or not. The use of Peterson's basic concepts can very profoundly have a positive and lasting influence on the individual and the world surrounding the individual. Mental acuity is not a mental illness as someone earlier mentioned and mental illness does not usually coincide with mental acuity. I onlyean to share my opinion with this post and my apologies for using a response to you to do so. I hope this finds you well and may God bless you.
Man, I don't know. I'm for sure above average on disagreeableness, but I feel it did me a lot of disservice in my career. It has been more positive in friend/ family relationships in the long run. I find problems in work that even others can see clearly. But nobody will say anything. The last one was that I saw a serious security risk in the building I worked in. Someone high up had made a lot of changes. I described the problem twice to the guy running security, but he just basically threatened to get me fired if I didn't shut up. I immediately quit instead of agreeing. Three weeks later, lots of people were shot up because a desperate person walked right in with zero resistance. It's a hell of a thing to see things, but nobody will listen.
Gosh, I so relate to your experience. I also keep discovering various types of breaches and security issues (different types to what you're dealing with), and I've been told numerous times to keep my mouth shut and that nothing could possibly be done to fix these issues. I hate the idea of just dropping the issues because I can always see a solution. A few years ago, I unwittingly mentioned something to an internal auditor (I didn't know who she was), and she then introduced herself and asked me for the details. I wrote a wee project proposal that would address and fix the data security issues. Guess what happened next. My manager put her name on that proposal and claimed the ideas as hers. A team was delegated to work on this project, and when we first got in a room together, the rest of the team were asking loads of questions. I knew all the answers but stayed quiet to see what my manager would do, she claimed these were her ideas after all. She kept looking at me for the answers. Eventually, I decided to work on this project and let her take the credit - for the greater good - but I still feel nauseated about this whole thing years later. I have no idea how I could have handled it better without being a dick. Although, I guess what JP is saying here is that being a dick is not such a bad thing sometimes...
@@katharina... I'm SO disagreeable, I would interrupt the manager and publicly (in front of other employees) say "Why do you keep looking at me? Is it because you know I understand this, since it's my idea and you stole it from me?" Not in an upset voice, just rather blandly. And just watch to see what happens. Only later would I think "Gee, I should have said that kindly so I could at least INVITE the despicable manager to gently let me have the credit." Hoping for the best in that scenario.
I try being agreeable, but what happens at times is I feel trampled upon. Then I become disagreeable , this means I'm out of my comfort zone, then I am stressed, it's not good for me. But in hindsight I feel its important to fight back when I see destruction and injustice. I usually fight for the common good eg, pointing out destruction of trees, vegetation for development of ugly soulless builds.
To learn to be more disagreeable, I’ve been debating online strictly against trolls on videos of Palestinians suffering. I already have the trait agreeableness so I am motivated to debate for the cause for empathy and understanding. I know I was just an individual “sjw,” however useful. I’m done with that lesson now. I have other things to do. Due to my neuroticism, dealing with the anger about this issue helps too. My refugee family is from a heavily bombed country but I no longer get uselessly triggered. This has helped me in real life conversations
Don’t forget that Hamas kidnapped and killed a bunch of people and kids first. People tend to gloss over that little fact. It’s funny that nobody had a problem with the bombing of Hiroshima after the USA experienced the bombing of Pearl Harbor, yet it’s the same concept. If you don’t want extreme retribution, don’t bomb a sleeping giant.
You don’t learn to be disagreeable on the internet. It’s like saying I’m A strong guy in World of Warcraft, it has no substance in the real world. And to have another opinion on something isn’t being disagreeable, it’s about being selfish and a force in the real world. People think twice before getting in your way.
@@dilhancongar-pn1nd While what you say is clever, I disagree. As a creative, introverted middle child, the raw emotions I experience when I write are very real. Through debating, I learned to still my (diagnosed ADHD) mind/empathy and just write what I want to write. Now, I can say what I want to say since it’s linearly similar enough. Yesterday, I volunteered and told an unwanted guest to leave my friend’s party. Imagination is powerful/fake it till you make it dude
There were times where circumstances bring me to be agreeable to the people around me.. and in my failures I come to study deeper of the people around me.. a test of character to whoever allows me in their life.. and I was willing to fail deeply, to learn or succeed greatly… in every situation, circumstance or people. And in times where the phase moves, and it s time to apply everything you’ve learned-I now who to trust, who to let go and who or what I want and not want are.. and then greatly, I become highly disagreeable to the foundations of my truth.. but willing to listen to those who speak to my soul and spirit.. I think a mixture of both results and signifies a high level of cognizance and understanding.. which is healthier to set better boundaries for yourself, and succeed greater heights.. it is with you humility and with a teachable heart that God (Jesus Christ) exalts us.
@@papabird4425sad facts.. this world is led by sociopaths.. and half the problems I feel I even experience are either ignored or not even cared about enough by the general population or widely misunderstood to the point of being meaningless.. no wonder why so much conflict exists..
My husband is very agreeable, and I am the complete opposite. When he was younger, friends and coworkers would take advantage of his kindness. Then he dated me. My parents are entrepreneurs and raised me to be socially disagreeable. My mother, in particular, would correct me for being overly emotional or being a push over. I was trained to be charming when I needed to and to be unapologetically direcr when the occasion called for it. So now, people felt it as odd that my husband dated me due to our opposite personalities but I thought it made perfect sense. I told my husband once that he married me so he can have someone say "no" for him. He laughed and basically agreed with my assumption. 😅 We are better now. He stands up for himself more and as per my sister, my husband made me a more tolerable human being. 😂
There’s a difference in agreeable, there are a lot of things I am what would be called agreeable. My wife and I decide to go out to eat I ask her where she wants to go/eat because I don’t really care where, what matters to me is we are going out. She wants a new couch even though there’s really nothing wrong with the one we have, if we (I) can afford it again I really don’t care (it doesn’t matter to me) I disagree we need a new one, but if she wants one I really don’t care if we / she gets it - for some small examples. The thing I’m trying to say is there are a lot of things that matter to women however men don’t give it much thought (we just don’t really care). I have noticed most men are agreeable with their wife / girlfriend on most things but their wife / girlfriend is not, they want what they want. Now this doesn’t mean men are more agreeable than women we are just more accommodating to our significant other but less accommodating to the world as a whole. We went out to eat at a stake house and when my food arrived it was cold very cold I called the waitress over and told her it was cold. She offered to have the kitchen make a new one I said thank you, how ever my wife told the waitress just have them nuke it, which they did. I showed my wife that now my stake was over cooked and taste bad, and what she said ruined my meal.
Once again, Peterson antagonizes rather than illuminates; encourages worship of emotions rather than intelligence; declares he knows the answer to something that's a plain lie; promotes himself as the sage, even though he cannot stand next to anyone who requires him to be clear and back up his statements with actual evidence. He is a con man, first and foremost. And once again "There's a sucker born every minute." P.T. Barnum
I’m 40. Two kids. I did everything for the family. Never for myself. I am assertive with the exception of people I care about and care about me. Disagreeableness does not mean you can’t change your mind. Also, I am high on consciousness. When I was a kid I couldn’t be bothered of what other people thought. But to get that promotion at work I had to. Now I just want to run my own business so I don’t have to comply into things I disagree with. He is correct about having kids, it changes you. I worked hard on listening to people, this way my assertiveness comes in handy after everyone speaks. If I speak first it kills what I’m good at.
Listening by asking questions is great for disagreeable people because it makes other people feel heard and you will come off as a great person to be around because it develops 1+1 = 3.
I’m in the bottom 9th percentile of agreeableness and bottom 2nd percentile of politeness , what causes trouble is politeness, I’m always sabotaging the peace, it’s awful
Sometimes I can’t think well enough to disagree with someone. Need to know a lot about things to argue. I don’t really get angry because I am worried I will loose at the argument look stupid.
Why would you want to be nice person then? It seems that trait is not conducive to be able to function in society. And people can't understand why the world is always at war. Isn't war the ultimate expression of not being shoved around?
Being a "nice person" or agreeable is a virtue in a lot of situations. You are able to partner better in a reciprocal relationship and make sure the groups needs are met (which outside of society is very useful.) As well as investing yourself in friendship with man and beast an being able to win others over by making the initial sacrificial offering of reciprocation. This is a function of generative and creative existence as opposed to predatory and consumptive existence. This when paired with conscientiousness makes a highly valued member of the group. This can and does get exploited though so its not all win. So in short it has a myriad of advantages in a non atomized society. I believe your false assumption is that an atomized and thereby selfish society where disagreeable folks have an advantage due to not needing others for day to day survival in the same way as the distant past is the evolutionary norm or sustainable. if you wish to know what traits are valued by existence look at their distribution %s and intensity through the populace, The rare traits are held in reserve in case things change so humanity can adapt to the new situation. The common ones are selected for by current reality.
It’s more that you can find out where it works and continue to do what comes naturally, but also be aware of where it doesn’t work (e.g career) and adapt. As an agreeable person it’s been really helpful to set boundaries in my personal life too.
You’re bang on, Alstclair. I can tell you this as someone who is lowest 1 percentile in trait agreeableness that if my city declares war unfairly on a neighbouring city I would pack my bags and fight for that neighbouring city. The way I see it 80% would fight for ‘loyalty’ rather than true good.
Encouraging ppl to think and speak up might create problems for managers at work and dictators in nations… it’s ppl’s choice to be sheeps or less sheeps…
How do you do this if you always just forget and revert to your old ways and only realise the error of your ways afterwards? Been trying to fix myself up for years but the problem is that I'll watch these videos and completely understand them and where I need to change but unless a situation arises where I've just finished watching one and am thinking about the lesson then when the time comes to apply this I'll have forgotten everything and only a few hours afterwards I'll be like oh I should have done that differently.
Being disagreeble is always good for Jordan , a part with women , because in that case you being a man must be the best yourself and work hard in order to satisfy them, and not pretend what you deserve from them at a cheaper right cost. So mr Jordan men and women must be a balanced team or not?
Making a kid behave by age four…. What if said kid has adhd and is anything but agreeable or pleasant to be around? No matter what you do or don’t do? And their siblings who are being raised in the exact same home in the exact same way are extremely pleasant to be around and behave like angels? What then? I’m not giving my 4 year old meds… Do you just accept defeat or what? Genuinely curious.
I think that one acts normally according to the society you live in, and be yourself, we are not entitled to any treatment, we feel that we are helpful to ourselves not helpless. Only speak facts and evidence. some people are control freaks and power freaks just stay away from people like that.
It's not totally true. I mean people doesn't like receive our true thought, if we do conflict to people and they don't like it, they cut you of their life without discuss. It's not that people doesn't like conflict, people don't give time anymore and wants only what they want (sorry for my english im not native)
Pursuit of Meaning can't be bothered to properly sort out "some of", said by Peterson, from "Summer". Is it so hard, or are you too lazy making your living repeating others work?
Your insights are enlightening and powerful; similar to a book that was enlightening and powerful. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
Socially desirable by the age of 4 huh? Well tough luck for me coz my father had his own interests put forward instead of mine, deadbeat dad who did nothing to help raise me. Was a social reject growing up but taking steps as an adult to be more social with people.
the only part i disagree with is where he claims that it does not matter that much what happens in the middle, it`s all about extremes...i think he got that thing backwards... cuzz gambling that you gonna be on either side of extremes basically equivalent to putting all your chips on a slot machine with 1% winning chance or that means that you will be wrong 99% of the time lol...like you want to find out the legit uncensored truth about (insert the group) and how it is best way to move in it ,you don`t look at a biggest loser of the group or a hand picked face/``recruiter`` of the group...you pay the most attention to regular members of the group...that way you learn truth about both: regular members and about the leaders true intentions of the group... people feel like extremes are the most important simply due to the reason cuzz talking about them is the most emotionally entertaining...that`s literally it
As a content creator myself, it drives me crazy that the people that make these videos don’t proofread the subtitles they put on the screen. What’s up with that?
It is Cap Cut which auto generates the titles. I used to think they were written by illiterate degenerates but it is the creator who is bieng lazy and auto generates the titles.
Is agreeableness linked to lack of confidence in oneself: lack of courage, fear of displeasing others and other similar traits? Many of which arise when one has been raised by an enmeshing (all-devouring) mother. For these poor individuals just making a decision is agony, in case they get it wrong and then love is withheld until she decides she can love the child again.
I have so much anxiety and in work environments I lack confidence, I second guess myself constantly. I fear poor performance and being judged it’s so crippling, I hate conflict, I’m way too agreeable and put others comfort ahead of myself
If being agreeable and lack of confidence make you feel bad about yourself, it might be time to consider to change yourself … have a growth mindset, it will take times, but a little improvement here and that is far better than being a victim.
Im 25, always been agreeable. That changed when i had my first kid and when she was 1, a lady shushed my wife for singing to her while she ate at Panera Bread…. no longer agreeable. Lol
I was doing that and you called me darth vader, km trying to be good and you say im being too kind. You dont know whats going on anymore than I do. Stop giving me bad advice you dont know how to read people.😊
think about it this way: being agreeable is not a personality trait, but rather a social skill that will get you farther in life than being disagreeable.
I have an extremely disagreeable ex , he was so disagreable, that he could not accept any official decision and in this way he became full of debt, lost his licence, and he renounced to his lost job too. Beeing agreeable in social scale may be helps, may be you are used but is harder to lose a job and you can build a secure life.
@@dereksmith2137we have saying quiet river break through mountains.Other qualities r asked with it.But critical thinking is also very important.But beeing disagreable with tact is better to be said
It depends! Going extreme is always bad. Some disrespectful ppl especially need us to tell them how to behave in front of us… No thank you and walk away. Never need to say more than that!
0:53. That's still not always true. There probably are many VERY disagreable women, and many VERY agreable men even if VERY disagreable women, and VERY agreable men are a very rare thing, I still think that they must exist out there somewhare. Even if it's extreamly rare.
Better? If you are truely detached and you enjoy the state of blissfullness it does not mean you are a better person. It depends on your vision and commitment to follow-it through. Being detached is just an advantage: it hurts, but bothers you less which might be viewed upon as inhuman etc..
@@dickbakker1035 detatched = unbothered, not hurt Do you think an abusive/exploitative person would deem it "better" when one is disagreeable? It's a conflict of interests. Being noticably disagreeable, one still showing to affectable and is giving power to the other person.
There is no personality trait that doesn't have both pluses and minuses, including those of perfectionists deciding they can and/or are able tell us what corrections are absolutely appropriate or not.
Being detached from your passion will kill your ass. Makes you weak and reprehensible. Being detached from emotions, I can respect that but you gotta add in some fiesta in there too. Like fuck it, I could get high and still be more grounded than most of you
I rank top 95 percentile in assertiveness, top 99 percentile in disagreeableness and I’m fucking proud of it. I’m disrupting a whole trade within my own city, I’m only 19, the teachers can go fuck themselves, they told me to play life safe. Now I’m improving their lives by selling a more affordable product (I sold a product to one of my past teachers just 6 days ago).
Yeah, sure.. But be careful and watch out against whom you are. Peterson should restrain his gigantic ego and mouth. People could ruin their lives because of someone like Peterson. Stop with this working class hero bullshit.
Jesus, I despise youtubers putting random carbon copies of stock footage with no depth, emotion and feel to it. Infographics is hard so I’ll just slap some shit together and call it a day
I would prefer no music and not such emtionally-charged video footage on top of it. Preferably original video footqage of JBP, if any.. @PursuitofMeaning
@@wreckitjax let me explain, I am blocked and abused by profanest vulgar inhumane murderous criminals in net. The criminals were with encrypted url and the criminals abuse me with ugliest words, intimidating stuff and are murderous calloused dressed decent. The psyche is polygamists what's for HIV people exactly . Or abusive subconsciously. I can't get thst but I know it's criminal psychology of individuals. It's profane and vulgar. I have aversions too severe and I have vomiting and nausea to extreme level on any humans too in suspension that they might be polgamists that are thst PSCHE with STD. I really am aversive to polygamists as I am nurse and have real aversions too loud. And I have aversion to money launderings games and such people too.. That's why I opted nursing too. So, I have to criminalise criminals that are so aversive to me for me to be sane really. I am really a monogamist perfect real authentic person, that is mocked by very filthy beings, abused by the criminals, liar's mobbed, thst are slandering my decent real life pure pristine reals, my dignity reals, my decency reals.... Its a must to me to get the criminals that have messed my reals, as who they are that lied about my monogamist perfect life pure pristine reals . That's why I wrote that, i see such talks and threaptic ones everywhere.. Literally everywhere . I try to shout truths loudest possible. Afterall criminals lie mobbed slandering my decent real life have so much courage to live life too... Afterall criminals.. . Afterall so filthy..
I disliked this video because I felt disagreeable… now I feel like a better person 🥰 thank you for your service 🙏 (UA-cam also keeps deleting my very intelligent comments and I’m totally not being petty about it…🫠)
I'm 66 years old, retired now. I'm highly agreeable (unusual for males). I wish I had been more disagreeable in my life. I'm now leaning into assertiveness as much as I can. Jordan is SO right about trying to stretch out of your comfort zone into the areas that are not comfortable for you (agreeable people learning to be disagreeable and vise versa). It's a work in progress for me. I'm learning to speak my mind better....wish I'd have done this sooner in life. Listen to this man. He's a gem.
Learn what dissagreable people do. Everything what makes them nasty. Incorporate what you feel confortable with, one step at a time.
What about distance nasty ppl since you re retire and you don’t have to concern if they would affect your life!! We don’t really need anyone if they make us uncomfortable, let alone all the time…
@@recuerdos2457 I don't have any idea what you're trying to say. Could you reword your post so that I can understand it (and potentially reply)?
I agree with you.
I learned that the thing is not to be static in your level of agreeable or disagreeable behavior.
It’s about being able to adjust the level to the situation at hand so it serves you well.
@@Hans_Magnusson VERY well said...!
Be yourself. I take care of my interests. I know what I want and how to get it. I will engage in conflict if I think it is important to express myself and meet my needs. You do not have to be rude or mean, but it is important to tell your truth.
Good advice
Just look at Jordan Petersons own situation. He became disagreeable.
If it wasn't for his conflict with his principles on freedom of linguistic freedom i wouldn't be as smart as I am now because I was lucky enough to have been ntrouduced to him. If it wasn't for his disagreeable ways, he'd probably still be stuck, teaching in a college classroom instead of to the billions of people who fell in love with him!! He is my absolute favorite
Is there a slight difference between disagreeable and be standup for yourself?? I think both Agreeable and disagreeable personality should not be encouraged… just be assertive and have principles like Peterson.
@@recuerdos2457 I think he's saying that if you're too agreeable (non assertive), you need to push yourself to become more disagreeable (assertive). It's all on a continuum.
@@recuerdos2457I would say no, you should imho be able to adjust to the situation. Sometimes being agreeable is good, sometimes it is not. The same goes for disagreeable.
People are imho too afraid of conflict for different reasons. Sometimes it is a culture thing ie you are brought up and fostered by your parents and your social network to avoid speaking up.
Swedish people are infamous for not speaking up, but go home and mumbling and cursing,!knyter nävrarna i byxfickan .
That is just so annoying, because you have no clue that there’s a problem to attend to, until you are stabbed in the back months or years later.
So being able to adjust to the situation is good.
Don’t be afraid of offending someone else. It is when you disagree about something that there is an opportunity to grow. Not only if you were right, but especially if it turned out you were wrong. If you dare to admit to being wrong, you know have new knowledge and you can do new things.
One of many ways to judge ( or to understand people, that would be more polite way of saying ) people is by how much harmony does a person has with his thoughts words and deeds ... And my friend Dr Peterson rules here, he says what he thinks and does what he says ..... That's a hell lot of a heck to do ....
Amazing words of wisdom. I knew this, but having somebody verbalize it in a structured order, gives validity. Thank you, Mr. Peterson.
The trick is to be charming and socially diagreeable at the same time. Being openly hostile is idiotic because that would not serve your purpose at all.
I once told someone: your opinion of me does not affect my opinion of myself. Shut him right up. 😅
I am agreeable at work because in reality you have no control over management and their decisions. I have had bosses persecute you because of being disagreeable. I work in an industry often managed by ego driven workplace psychopaths.
Yes! But do it anyways
Sure, sounds like fun.
Brush up your resume and find a job at a different company.
what is your industry
Being disagreeable got me into being hated,feared and listened to at the same time. People forget that nothing gets done unless someone is ready to fight for it to be done. Imagine Noah having to explain to people around him the logic of building an arc on top of a mountain. How insane is that. I imagine him saying shut up and get me more wood.
being disagreeable got you being an asshole, basically? You kick, punch, yell, insult and abuse people right?
How the heck did you get feared??
being diagreeable has got me hated, mocked, made fun of, and looked down upon, and ignored. because no one wants to listen to a whiner. the Noah situation is not the best case because people already considered him crazy for building a boat in the desert, if he went and did that they'd think he was the dangerous type of crazy. what ive learned, its always better to be civil. Peterson greatly confuses the definition of "agreeable" and "disagreeable". agreeable simply means a pleasant person while "disagreeable" means unfriendly and bad-tempered. lovely way to be.
@@theboogeyman2590Peterson doesn't confuse that at all. He puts a great deal of clarity to it and properly discerns the two attitudes. I think you're confused. I think maybe you need to listen to more Dr Jordan Peterson
@@theboogeyman2590 I don't normally get involved in these types of discussions (I'm agreeable) but in way I view this, you are incorrect. Agreeable and Disagreeable can both be civil wile agreeable lacks the image ability to be Disagreeable. If you CAN be Disagreeable and choose to be agreeable, this is in essence, what I believe that Mr. Peterson is presenting to us. I have learned to be Disagreeable when need be which has made me incredibly more successful, motivational, and respected. I can be heard when need be but I can also listen and function within a team well. I can lead by positive example while being receptive to others, including "inferiors" feed back. I have the ability to acquire emotional credit with people while my assertiveness has lain paths for others to follow. This whole concept surrounds Peterson's ideology that you need to be able to be a monster. To think that this is mindset is a mental illness is to be wholly ignorant of the complexities of human behavior and just how our actions and attitudes toward situations (good and bad) are able to affect situations. This happens whether we want it to or not. The use of Peterson's basic concepts can very profoundly have a positive and lasting influence on the individual and the world surrounding the individual. Mental acuity is not a mental illness as someone earlier mentioned and mental illness does not usually coincide with mental acuity. I onlyean to share my opinion with this post and my apologies for using a response to you to do so. I hope this finds you well and may God bless you.
Wow, I'm touched. Finally, I'm being noticed for my attributes.
Man, I don't know. I'm for sure above average on disagreeableness, but I feel it did me a lot of disservice in my career. It has been more positive in friend/ family relationships in the long run. I find problems in work that even others can see clearly. But nobody will say anything. The last one was that I saw a serious security risk in the building I worked in. Someone high up had made a lot of changes. I described the problem twice to the guy running security, but he just basically threatened to get me fired if I didn't shut up. I immediately quit instead of agreeing. Three weeks later, lots of people were shot up because a desperate person walked right in with zero resistance. It's a hell of a thing to see things, but nobody will listen.
Gosh, I so relate to your experience. I also keep discovering various types of breaches and security issues (different types to what you're dealing with), and I've been told numerous times to keep my mouth shut and that nothing could possibly be done to fix these issues. I hate the idea of just dropping the issues because I can always see a solution.
A few years ago, I unwittingly mentioned something to an internal auditor (I didn't know who she was), and she then introduced herself and asked me for the details. I wrote a wee project proposal that would address and fix the data security issues. Guess what happened next. My manager put her name on that proposal and claimed the ideas as hers. A team was delegated to work on this project, and when we first got in a room together, the rest of the team were asking loads of questions. I knew all the answers but stayed quiet to see what my manager would do, she claimed these were her ideas after all. She kept looking at me for the answers. Eventually, I decided to work on this project and let her take the credit - for the greater good - but I still feel nauseated about this whole thing years later.
I have no idea how I could have handled it better without being a dick. Although, I guess what JP is saying here is that being a dick is not such a bad thing sometimes...
@@katharina... I'm SO disagreeable, I would interrupt the manager and publicly (in front of other employees) say "Why do you keep looking at me? Is it because you know I understand this, since it's my idea and you stole it from me?" Not in an upset voice, just rather blandly. And just watch to see what happens.
Only later would I think "Gee, I should have said that kindly so I could at least INVITE the despicable manager to gently let me have the credit." Hoping for the best in that scenario.
I try being agreeable, but what happens at times is I feel trampled upon. Then I become disagreeable , this means I'm out of my comfort zone, then I am stressed, it's not good for me. But in hindsight I feel its important to fight back when I see destruction and injustice. I usually fight for the common good eg, pointing out destruction of trees, vegetation for development of ugly soulless builds.
To learn to be more disagreeable, I’ve been debating online strictly against trolls on videos of Palestinians suffering. I already have the trait agreeableness so I am motivated to debate for the cause for empathy and understanding. I know I was just an individual “sjw,” however useful. I’m done with that lesson now. I have other things to do. Due to my neuroticism, dealing with the anger about this issue helps too. My refugee family is from a heavily bombed country but I no longer get uselessly triggered. This has helped me in real life conversations
Don’t forget that Hamas kidnapped and killed a bunch of people and kids first. People tend to gloss over that little fact. It’s funny that nobody had a problem with the bombing of Hiroshima after the USA experienced the bombing of Pearl Harbor, yet it’s the same concept. If you don’t want extreme retribution, don’t bomb a sleeping giant.
You don’t learn to be disagreeable on the internet. It’s like saying I’m
A strong guy in World of Warcraft, it has no substance in the real world. And to have another opinion on something isn’t being disagreeable, it’s about being selfish and a force in the real world. People think twice before getting in your way.
@@dilhancongar-pn1nd While what you say is clever, I disagree. As a creative, introverted middle child, the raw emotions I experience when I write are very real. Through debating, I learned to still my (diagnosed ADHD) mind/empathy and just write what I want to write. Now, I can say what I want to say since it’s linearly similar enough. Yesterday, I volunteered and told an unwanted guest to leave my friend’s party. Imagination is powerful/fake it till you make it dude
Golden, as always!!! So much good life advice here
I think you have to be disagreeable to bring out the best in people at work, things don't get done otherwise.
The best advice I received from my therapist was to know that "No." Is a complete sentence. No follow up is necessary.
Everything in moderation. Equilibrium is important. Agree or disagree when its necessary.
Accuracy making out your paycheck? Not exact? "Hey you got half of it". Moderate in paying wat I owe you. You got soe ore stupid sayings for us?
There were times where circumstances bring me to be agreeable to the people around me.. and in my failures I come to study deeper of the people around me.. a test of character to whoever allows me in their life.. and I was willing to fail deeply, to learn or succeed greatly… in every situation, circumstance or people.
And in times where the phase moves, and it s time to apply everything you’ve learned-I now who to trust, who to let go and who or what I want and not want are.. and then greatly, I become highly disagreeable to the foundations of my truth.. but willing to listen to those who speak to my soul and spirit..
I think a mixture of both results and signifies a high level of cognizance and understanding.. which is healthier to set better boundaries for yourself, and succeed greater heights.. it is with you humility and with a teachable heart that God (Jesus Christ) exalts us.
You agree with people, they call you a pushover, you disagree with them, they call you arrogant. You cant win
You can be disagreeable but polite, have good values and beliefs and everything, its diplomacy
@@artemisk.2334 very few people deserve diplomacy. Most people are obstacles to peace.
@@papabird4425sad facts.. this world is led by sociopaths.. and half the problems I feel I even experience are either ignored or not even cared about enough by the general population or widely misunderstood to the point of being meaningless.. no wonder why so much conflict exists..
@@SlinkxTheSynx I think disagreement is a great thing, but the trouble starts when people are willing to kill to prove they are right.
@@papabird4425 What a disagreeable thing to say.
"The best personality predictor of being imprisoned is to be low in disagreeableness. It makes you CALLOUS" not "kill us" you goofballs.
Im highly agreeable and i know what i want and does not involve people
As a highly disagreeable person I respect that.
Your’e always going to need things from other people, don’t fool yourself
My husband is very agreeable, and I am the complete opposite. When he was younger, friends and coworkers would take advantage of his kindness. Then he dated me. My parents are entrepreneurs and raised me to be socially disagreeable. My mother, in particular, would correct me for being overly emotional or being a push over. I was trained to be charming when I needed to and to be unapologetically direcr when the occasion called for it. So now, people felt it as odd that my husband dated me due to our opposite personalities but I thought it made perfect sense. I told my husband once that he married me so he can have someone say "no" for him. He laughed and basically agreed with my assumption. 😅 We are better now. He stands up for himself more and as per my sister, my husband made me a more tolerable human being. 😂
There’s a difference in agreeable, there are a lot of things I am what would be called agreeable. My wife and I decide to go out to eat I ask her where she wants to go/eat because I don’t really care where, what matters to me is we are going out. She wants a new couch even though there’s really nothing wrong with the one we have, if we (I) can afford it again I really don’t care (it doesn’t matter to me) I disagree we need a new one, but if she wants one I really don’t care if we / she gets it - for some small examples. The thing I’m trying to say is there are a lot of things that matter to women however men don’t give it much thought (we just don’t really care). I have noticed most men are agreeable with their wife / girlfriend on most things but their wife / girlfriend is not, they want what they want. Now this doesn’t mean men are more agreeable than women we are just more accommodating to our significant other but less accommodating to the world as a whole. We went out to eat at a stake house and when my food arrived it was cold very cold I called the waitress over and told her it was cold. She offered to have the kitchen make a new one I said thank you, how ever my wife told the waitress just have them nuke it, which they did. I showed my wife that now my stake was over cooked and taste bad, and what she said ruined my meal.
Really love this cause am very agreeable myself
wow. so much ideas compressed in 12 minutes
There's a difference of being disagreeable and argumentive٫ agreeable and able to have compliancy.
Can't find one speech on UA-cam anymore without music.
Once again, Peterson antagonizes rather than illuminates; encourages worship of emotions rather than intelligence; declares he knows the answer to something that's a plain lie; promotes himself as the sage, even though he cannot stand next to anyone who requires him to be clear and back up his statements with actual evidence. He is a con man, first and foremost. And once again "There's a sucker born every minute." P.T. Barnum
I’m 40. Two kids. I did everything for the family. Never for myself. I am assertive with the exception of people I care about and care about me. Disagreeableness does not mean you can’t change your mind. Also, I am high on consciousness. When I was a kid I couldn’t be bothered of what other people thought. But to get that promotion at work I had to. Now I just want to run my own business so I don’t have to comply into things I disagree with. He is correct about having kids, it changes you. I worked hard on listening to people, this way my assertiveness comes in handy after everyone speaks. If I speak first it kills what I’m good at.
I will add that if you are disagreeable and innovative…run a business. You’ll be great at it.
Listening by asking questions is great for disagreeable people because it makes other people feel heard and you will come off as a great person to be around because it develops 1+1 = 3.
The conflict is only with my self, "I'll do it"
Thanks for the wisdom, Dr.P! 🦞❤️💯🙏🏻
I’m in the bottom 9th percentile of agreeableness and bottom 2nd percentile of politeness , what causes trouble is politeness, I’m always sabotaging the peace, it’s awful
The title of this video is misleading. Neither agreeable or disagreeable is good nor bad. They have their strengths and weaknesses.
True, they both need to be applied when necessary not just being 1 way or the other...
Sometimes I can’t think well enough to disagree with someone. Need to know a lot about things to argue. I don’t really get angry because I am worried I will loose at the argument look stupid.
Practising disagreeable person 1., meet well seasoned disagreeable person 2. Let the war begin😢. Inevitable outcome.
I want Jordan Peterson, raw.
This is amazing
Why would you want to be nice person then? It seems that trait is not conducive to be able to function in society. And people can't understand why the world is always at war. Isn't war the ultimate expression of not being shoved around?
Being a "nice person" or agreeable is a virtue in a lot of situations. You are able to partner better in a reciprocal relationship and make sure the groups needs are met (which outside of society is very useful.) As well as investing yourself in friendship with man and beast an being able to win others over by making the initial sacrificial offering of reciprocation. This is a function of generative and creative existence as opposed to predatory and consumptive existence. This when paired with conscientiousness makes a highly valued member of the group. This can and does get exploited though so its not all win.
So in short it has a myriad of advantages in a non atomized society. I believe your false assumption is that an atomized and thereby selfish society where disagreeable folks have an advantage due to not needing others for day to day survival in the same way as the distant past is the evolutionary norm or sustainable.
if you wish to know what traits are valued by existence look at their distribution %s and intensity through the populace, The rare traits are held in reserve in case things change so humanity can adapt to the new situation. The common ones are selected for by current reality.
It’s more that you can find out where it works and continue to do what comes naturally, but also be aware of where it doesn’t work (e.g career) and adapt. As an agreeable person it’s been really helpful to set boundaries in my personal life too.
You’re bang on, Alstclair.
I can tell you this as someone who is lowest 1 percentile in trait agreeableness that if my city declares war unfairly on a neighbouring city I would pack my bags and fight for that neighbouring city.
The way I see it 80% would fight for ‘loyalty’ rather than true good.
Encouraging ppl to think and speak up might create problems for managers at work and dictators in nations… it’s ppl’s choice to be sheeps or less sheeps…
Correction to the subtitles at 1:09: "It makes you callous"--not kill us and "some are switched on" (9:12) not summer switched on.
Not interested in being that way
Always downvote these auto-generated videos. 1:08 "it makes you kill us" instead of "it makes you callous".
1:14 “callous” NOT “kill us” wtf
😂
😂😂😂 I was like come again? Lmao
Alas ! Someone has Something Positive to Say about Disagreeable and Blunt Personalities 🙏🏼☺️ Though I Really Don’t Care Who Says What 😉
How do you do this if you always just forget and revert to your old ways and only realise the error of your ways afterwards? Been trying to fix myself up for years but the problem is that I'll watch these videos and completely understand them and where I need to change but unless a situation arises where I've just finished watching one and am thinking about the lesson then when the time comes to apply this I'll have forgotten everything and only a few hours afterwards I'll be like oh I should have done that differently.
That video was so useful
Being disagreeble is always good for Jordan , a part with women , because in that case you being a man must be the best yourself and work hard in order to satisfy them, and not pretend what you deserve from them at a cheaper right cost. So mr Jordan men and women must be a balanced team or not?
Yes, men have the burden of performance, but get to be disagreeable to call the shots
Making a kid behave by age four….
What if said kid has adhd and is anything but agreeable or pleasant to be around? No matter what you do or don’t do?
And their siblings who are being raised in the exact same home in the exact same way are extremely pleasant to be around and behave like angels? What then? I’m not giving my 4 year old meds…
Do you just accept defeat or what? Genuinely curious.
I think that one acts normally according to the society you live in, and be yourself, we are not entitled to any treatment, we feel that we are helpful to ourselves not helpless. Only speak facts and evidence. some people are control freaks and power freaks just stay away from people like that.
Being disagreeable for its own sake is kinda pointless if you actually agree with something.
I complained about a female worker using a broom to sweep the table in our hospital canteen. Am I disagreeable?
Looooool 😂 am sorry but this comment made me laugh
Sheep, Sheepdogs, Wolves
Brilliant
It's not totally true. I mean people doesn't like receive our true thought, if we do conflict to people and they don't like it, they cut you of their life without discuss.
It's not that people doesn't like conflict, people don't give time anymore and wants only what they want (sorry for my english im not native)
"Callous," not "kill us."
Damn this would have been great if not for that depressing mood music.
Pursuit of Meaning can't be bothered to properly sort out "some of", said by Peterson, from "Summer". Is it so hard, or are you too lazy making your living repeating others work?
Your insights are enlightening and powerful; similar to a book that was enlightening and powerful. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
A big talk to tell you at the end: marry and have children, like me!!
Socially desirable by the age of 4 huh? Well tough luck for me coz my father had his own interests put forward instead of mine, deadbeat dad who did nothing to help raise me. Was a social reject growing up but taking steps as an adult to be more social with people.
What it you're all the things?
Introverted AND extroverted, agreeable AND disagreeable, conscientious AND not conscientious?
The background music absolutely ruins it. Totally pointless
the only part i disagree with is where he claims that it does not matter that much what happens in the middle, it`s all about extremes...i think he got that thing backwards... cuzz gambling that you gonna be on either side of extremes basically equivalent to putting all your chips on a slot machine with 1% winning chance or that means that you will be wrong 99% of the time lol...like you want to find out the legit uncensored truth about (insert the group) and how it is best way to move in it ,you don`t look at a biggest loser of the group or a hand picked face/``recruiter`` of the group...you pay the most attention to regular members of the group...that way you learn truth about both: regular members and about the leaders true intentions of the group...
people feel like extremes are the most important simply due to the reason cuzz talking about them is the most emotionally entertaining...that`s literally it
As a content creator myself, it drives me crazy that the people that make these videos don’t proofread the subtitles they put on the screen. What’s up with that?
I think you mean content creator.
@@rhoelcruz3480 LOL the irony!
The university lectures I watch have the same problem. It's actually pretty funny. Who knew AI could pun?
It is Cap Cut which auto generates the titles. I used to think they were written by illiterate degenerates but it is the creator who is bieng lazy and auto generates the titles.
Nah I don't think so.
So this must’ve been what happened to Prince Harry, and his wife, they each weren’t socialized by four years of age.
THATS NOT GOING TO MAKE IT BETTER IF THERES NO EFFORT ON THE PARENTS PART I DONT CARE HOW TIRED THEY ARE FROM WORK YOU ARE A PARENT DO THERE JOBS .
You cant care what anyone thinks about you. knowing who you are and being honest with it is better than trying to become agreeable or disagreeable
I'm afraid I have to disagree! You can be disagreeable and care just as much for others' well-being as you do for your own.
You didn't watch the video
Is agreeableness linked to lack of confidence in oneself: lack of courage, fear of displeasing others and other similar traits? Many of which arise when one has been raised by an enmeshing (all-devouring) mother. For these poor individuals just making a decision is agony, in case they get it wrong and then love is withheld until she decides she can love the child again.
I have a fear of displeasing others and I’m not agreeable. I am courageous but I do have a lot of anxiety.
I have so much anxiety and in work environments I lack confidence, I second guess myself constantly. I fear poor performance and being judged it’s so crippling, I hate conflict, I’m way too agreeable and put others comfort ahead of myself
If being agreeable and lack of confidence make you feel bad about yourself, it might be time to consider to change yourself … have a growth mindset, it will take times, but a little improvement here and that is far better than being a victim.
Im 25, always been agreeable. That changed when i had my first kid and when she was 1, a lady shushed my wife for singing to her while she ate at Panera Bread…. no longer agreeable. Lol
It makes you kill us or callous? Automatic subtitles. Sloppy.
I was doing that and you called me darth vader, km trying to be good and you say im being too kind. You dont know whats going on anymore than I do. Stop giving me bad advice you dont know how to read people.😊
An iddle mind is the devil's playground
think about it this way: being agreeable is not a personality trait, but rather a social skill that will get you farther in life than being disagreeable.
Being agreeable will not get you further in life at all
I have an extremely disagreeable ex , he was so disagreable, that he could not accept any official decision and in this way he became full of debt, lost his licence, and he renounced to his lost job too. Beeing agreeable in social scale may be helps, may be you are used but is harder to lose a job and you can build a secure life.
@@dereksmith2137I disagree 😂😂😂
@@dereksmith2137we have saying quiet river break through mountains.Other qualities r asked with it.But critical thinking is also very important.But beeing disagreable with tact is better to be said
It depends! Going extreme is always bad. Some disrespectful ppl especially need us to tell them how to behave in front of us…
No thank you and walk away. Never need to say more than that!
0:53.
That's still not always true.
There probably are many VERY disagreable women, and many VERY agreable men even if VERY disagreable women, and VERY agreable men are a very rare thing, I still think that they must exist out there somewhare.
Even if it's extreamly rare.
Do you understand what a statistic is?
That's exactly what he said in other words.
The text on screen:
"it makes you kill us"
Uhh..... I think you mean callous..
how about the joker?
ai?
And as in the beginning, we are 2 serve 1 master 4 1st AllMightY Plan ❤️🌼🌸💕💕🌸🌼❤️
Correction: Being DETATCHED makes you a better person
Better? If you are truely detached and you enjoy the state of blissfullness it does not mean you are a better person. It depends on your vision and commitment to follow-it through. Being detached is just an advantage: it hurts, but bothers you less which might be viewed upon as inhuman etc..
@@dickbakker1035 detatched = unbothered, not hurt
Do you think an abusive/exploitative person would deem it "better" when one is disagreeable? It's a conflict of interests.
Being noticably disagreeable, one still showing to affectable and is giving power to the other person.
There is no personality trait that doesn't have both pluses and minuses, including those of perfectionists deciding they can and/or are able tell us what corrections are absolutely appropriate or not.
Being detached from your passion will kill your ass. Makes you weak and reprehensible. Being detached from emotions, I can respect that but you gotta add in some fiesta in there too. Like fuck it, I could get high and still be more grounded than most of you
To detach is to atach
🫡❤️
Please stop adding music to these. We come here for what Peterson has to say, the music just makes it cringey.
I rank top 95 percentile in assertiveness, top 99 percentile in disagreeableness and I’m fucking proud of it. I’m disrupting a whole trade within my own city, I’m only 19, the teachers can go fuck themselves, they told me to play life safe. Now I’m improving their lives by selling a more affordable product (I sold a product to one of my past teachers just 6 days ago).
They need a big ego lol envy and wanna be us we special ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
TRUMP IN 24 👉💪🇺🇲
Yeah, sure.. But be careful and watch out against whom you are. Peterson should restrain his gigantic ego and mouth. People could ruin their lives because of someone like Peterson. Stop with this working class hero bullshit.
Being disagreeable actually helps protect you from predators..
Jesus, I despise youtubers putting random carbon copies of stock footage with no depth, emotion and feel to it. Infographics is hard so I’ll just slap some shit together and call it a day
I would prefer no music and not such emtionally-charged video footage on top of it. Preferably original video footqage of JBP, if any..
@PursuitofMeaning
I will criminalise trading games and everyone will be criminalised individualised because that's crime really..
What
@@wreckitjax let me explain, I am blocked and abused by profanest vulgar inhumane murderous criminals in net. The criminals were with encrypted url and the criminals abuse me with ugliest words, intimidating stuff and are murderous calloused dressed decent. The psyche is polygamists what's for HIV people exactly . Or abusive subconsciously. I can't get thst but I know it's criminal psychology of individuals. It's profane and vulgar. I have aversions too severe and I have vomiting and nausea to extreme level on any humans too in suspension that they might be polgamists that are thst PSCHE with STD. I really am aversive to polygamists as I am nurse and have real aversions too loud. And I have aversion to money launderings games and such people too.. That's why I opted nursing too. So, I have to criminalise criminals that are so aversive to me for me to be sane really. I am really a monogamist perfect real authentic person, that is mocked by very filthy beings, abused by the criminals, liar's mobbed, thst are slandering my decent real life pure pristine reals, my dignity reals, my decency reals.... Its a must to me to get the criminals that have messed my reals, as who they are that lied about my monogamist perfect life pure pristine reals . That's why I wrote that, i see such talks and threaptic ones everywhere.. Literally everywhere . I try to shout truths loudest possible. Afterall criminals lie mobbed slandering my decent real life have so much courage to live life too... Afterall criminals.. . Afterall so filthy..
lmaoaoaooao horrible little monster
I disliked this video because I felt disagreeable… now I feel like a better person 🥰 thank you for your service 🙏 (UA-cam also keeps deleting my very intelligent comments and I’m totally not being petty about it…🫠)