Thanks so much for watching our story. It's always fun to relive the awkward first moments of a relationship and, while it was at times difficult, we are so happy to be able to share our journey with you. Have YOU gone through an experience similar to this?? We want to hear your questions and wisdom about your own relationship experiences in the comments below!
Wow what an amazing testimony this really spoke to my heart. This Reminds me of our story. If you could please pray for my ex fiancé and I. I would greatly appreciate it. I’m still believing God to change her heart supernaturally. I still want her and my family in my life.
Going through a little bit of this right now with my BF. We are taking a break/broke up so he can get some clarity. It gives me hope seeing a similar story and the outcome. Please pray for us. Thank you!
Praying that this will happen to me. We broke up because of circumstances and I have realized that I really miss him and want to get back togesther with him. Please pray for me.
Wow. I wish I get to have a love like theirs. That endures even months and years. My boyfriend and I are currently going through tough times, but testimonies like this gives me hope that we could get through it together. Hopefully we'll be able to communicate better, and come out of this better and stronger ❤
Thank you for your kind words! We did have to put a lot of work into building our relationship, but it paid off because we were both 100% invested and rely on Jesus to make us stronger and bring us together. Not everyone will have the same story as us and sometimes two people just aren't right for each other. Other times, you work through it and create a beautiful, lifelong partnership and romance! We are blessed to have found that. 😍 We pray that you and your boyfriend will find clarity and decide whether or not to have a future together. We know it can be a really difficult time! Thanks so much for watching and commenting.
Now your experience may be some how different from mine. Your issues with your husband may be a lot different from mine, but there is one thing I know for certain; you want to win your Lover back. No matter what type of relationship problems you’re experiencing (Dr. Peterwise) can be helpful. Even if divorced, you can be reconciled to each other. I personally know of 2 couples were have reconciled with each other even after a divorce with the help of Dr. Peterwise with his powerful spell. you can contact him also : peterwisespellhome@gmail.com
I was in a wonderful long-distance relationship but she broke up with me a month ago because I was too stubborn about where we can live together and left her no choice. Aside from distance, the relationship was very loving and amazing. I regret it now, I realised I really love her and want to be with her. I am now working on concrete plans to make our future possible. I am thinking of contacting her after she cools off a little and I already work more on the plans. I hope she will forgive me for my foolishness. Thank you for giving me hopes, especially Ruth, you show me the prespective from the female side.
Thank you so much for watching and we hope that you were able to relate to some of what we talked about! Of course, every relationship is different and we can't guarantee that yours will have the same outcome, but we do hope that you're able to reconcile your friendship, or maybe your relationship, with her. I'm glad that you're giving her some space for now while both of you reflect on the past and focus on growing as individuals! Thanks again for your support. 😍
My ex left me 6 days ago, because of something that had little to actually do with us but we talked yesterday and got everything out and have grown from those few days apart! We’re doing great right now, back together, only telling a few people because it’s still fresh and we have some friends and even family who need time to cook off... it’s complicated. But I’m a psych major with straight As and deep down I feel like this is the right move, I can’t be 100% sure what the future brings but now it feels good. So seeing couples who aren’t toxic get back together and it works out long term. Helps me know that not all ex’s who get back together hurt each other more and things get better. So thank you for sharing your story!
Absolutely. It can be initially hard to build back your relationship, but it's now been 5 years since that break-up and we have grown closer every day. Our story will not be reflective of everyone's journey, but we got back together in the fall of 2016 and neither of us have yet wavered or doubted in this relationship. The breakup forced us both to reorient ourselves on our faith and evaluate the health of our relationship from the outside - which was so beneficial for the both of us. And having been married now for 4 years we can say that, even when we are frustrated and get in the most volatile arguments, we still have immense trust in each other. It all requires very open communication, vulnerability, and commitment from both parties. But if that's there, then you can certainly build your relationship stronger than ever!
I’m going through such a hard time right now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 9 years. Our relationship has always been so perfect and we have always been so strong together and have had so much love for one another. Recently, he broke down to me saying that he wasn’t sure about us anymore that he was having doubts if he loved me anymore. We haven’t broken up, we are still together but I am currently giving him some space to think. Tonight he has his first psychologist appointment, he genuinely doesn’t know “ what is wrong with him “ and why he is feeling this way even though he desperately doesn’t want to feel this way. This guy is my absolute best friend, my world, my soulmate and I’m so destroyed that we’re going through this. I love him so much and he has always shown he loves me to death aswell. I really hope this is a rough patch in our relationship and that we will get through this stronger than ever.
We are so sorry to hear about what you guys are going through! It's great to hear that you are taking steps to meet with a psychologist and work together to figure things out. Whether you end up together or not, we hope that you can find peace and purpose through it.
Hoping the best for you. It is always wonderful when you are able to reconcile and redeem a broken relationship, but it is so important to give the other person space to grow on their own. Really wishing that you guys can use this time apart to grow on your own and realize what you both want for your future. Thanks so much for watching our story and for the encouraging comment! Marriage is a beautiful thing, but the beauty is in the mutual commitment and security that the other person is just as invested in the relationship and you as you are in them - so I'm really hoping you find that!
I watched your video to get some positive vibes.. my boyfriend broke up with me 10 months back and I'm still waiting for him to come back and I have this great confidence and feeling that he will. Wish me luck ❤️😀
Good luck with everything! Obviously, we're just sharing our experiences and can't guarantee that yours will be the same, but we hope our story can serve as an encouragement and a reminder that relationships take hard work to stay healthy.
My girlfriend broke up with me Christmas eve and I tried to court her again but she rejected me and I invite her to be my valentine but someone already asked her and she said yes to him. Someone is courting her now but Im still waiting for her to comeback. I hope she will in the future🙏
My “boyfriend” and I went through this the summer before senior year. I didn’t understand and I was devastated at the time LOL but he needed the summer to get himself together and deal with some demons that I knew nothing about at the time. We have been together ever since. Married 15 years now with a 14 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. It all comes down to communication and work ethic, and selflessness. Other people do not have a crystal ball and we get so aggravated with people because we assume they must know how we feel and that they are doing whatever it is, on purpose. Unless you have a real deceitful spouse, that’s never the case… communication! We have even had to really work on that again in the last year. It can be an ongoing thing sometimes as you go through the seasons of life!
Ohhhh my goodness!!! I literally went through this😭 I came it of this relationship realizing that I was just sharing all the things that were wrong. Every little thing. It definitely created a rift with us. Im going through a breakup right now. It’s been almost a month and I just keep hoping that if we are meant to be, something will bring us back together.
Aww you guys have such a wholesome relationship & something I long for💙 I’m currently going through a breakup but I like seeing other ppls happy relationships & make me hope to one day be that happy!! 😁
We're so sorry to hear that you're going through a breakup.. Can't imagine how hard that must be especially during this crazy time. Sometimes it's for the best and even better things are ahead for you! Stay positive, hold onto your joy, and keep moving forward!
Thomas and Ruth thank you for sharing your testimonies. Your stories are exactly like mine 26 years ago.Me and my wife had never had a serious love relationship before meeting each other. God had told me before I met my wife to seek first his kingdom and to embrace my singleness and in time,As I Obeyed God would bring my wife to me. Marriage for me and my wife was a total learning process from day one however we had an advantage we had a loving heavenly father who taught us all the way.
AMEN. This is a beautiful testament to God's provision. Truly, if we seek Him and His Kingdom first, then He will provide and take care of us. We are learning more and more every day about what it means to love one another and maintain a healthy marriage, but we cannot imagine trying to do it without our Heavenly Father. He teaches and guides us every day and it's only through His grace that we have been so blessed. Marriage is an absolute treat and I (Thomas) am so unbelievably grateful to have a partner who is committed to her faith and encourages me to pursue Him more every day. Thank you for sharing your story with us - it really is a blessing to hear and CONGRATULATIONS on 26 years!
My boyfriend broke up with me and later we decided to give each other space to work on ourselves because he felt stuck and we were arguing with each other heavily, he had cheated with can girls. Anywho, We decided if we want to get back together we will meet at our favorite museum at 11:11pm on August 9th. I’m nervous but excited because I hope he keeps his word to me.
We're so sorry to hear about the difficulties of that relationship. One of the hardest things can be trying to revive a relationship after the trust has been broken. While it's possible, and certainly can be a beautiful thing, it takes a lot of hard work, humility, and time. We'll pray for you both that you have wisdom and peace; and that God would just make it clear whether or not you're supposed to get back together. Thank you for opening up and sharing with us. God is still good no matter what happens and He's got a plan for you far better than what you even imagine 😊
Glad we were able to share our story with you! Every relationship is different, but we hope you find peace and contentment wherever God leads you! Thanks for checking out our channel.
Amazing story ...my ex broke up with me 2 weeks back.. Got back talking within a week (ldr) .. Hopefully we'll get back together.. I love her a lot... Happy to see u guys back together.... Feel positive now
nice one. It's good your friends kept encouraging you. some will ask you to break up then you end up throwing away a good relationship just because of your differences.
I was expecting my friends to say the same thing, encouraging us to break up, but when they never did I knew there had to be something I was missing! And thankfully it worked out for us.
Love seeing a couple like you two. I'm 33 and never even been on a date, so be VERY grateful for what you have. I'm all warm and fuzzy inside now haha!
Aw thanks! I (Thomas) am so grateful every day. She pushes and challenges me to be a better version of myself every day. I am so glad I ever asked her out and I don't know where I'd be without her. Wishing the best for you!
Why you no date Just kidding. I'm 39 and never been on a technical date. But now I'm in a 7 month long distance relationship with a woman who I feel so connected with. If it doesn't work out I am now sure I can find another girl (but I believe it will, just unsure about the distance) My advice to you, speaking as another unlucky person, stop looking in the mirror. Avoid your own reflection. This is an easy self awareness technique that disciplines your mind and let's you focus on what's going on around you. You will notice how much more out of your head you are, and may even find yourself acting purely on your own feelings. It's helped me find the girl of my dreams and part of it is I think I made her the girl of my dreams because I genuinely care about her. What I think is the problem is you are possibly a victim of narcissistic abuse. It has put you in your own head and made you believe warped things about yourself based on an image you have created. You have to destroy this image of yourself and the best way to do that is never see your own image. You will create a new and more accurate image in your own mind based on what is truly inside of yourself and people will react to this. It took me about a full year from March 2021 to February 2022 when I met the girl of my dreams. But in between that time I lost over 50 pounds and found my way out of major depression problems by focusing on what was happening in my body and reacting appropriately. Anyway.. 7 months later here I am. I've gained almost 10 pounds of muscle now and in a deep relationship with a beautiful woman. I get to fall asleep with her and the warmth she gives me sometimes makes me cry. I still do not look in the mirror. I think it's an amazing practice almost like a meditational feeling sometimes. Anyway good luck. I swear it is strange, I sometimes feel I now am like a luck magnet. You may also find you are like that. I think what it is is that I just appreciate little things more now
well great it worked out. I tried communicating to my bf multiple times what I need and he said i need to find happiness within myself and not rely on others. sure but then again you're a perfect example that it requires some work! your guy proved you matter to him. sad to find myself where im now...
We’re sorry to hear that you guys weren’t able to work through your differences. Relationships are always a two-way street and sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Whether or not you guys get back together in the future, breakups can be a good time to focus on yourself, work on personal growth, and get advice from people older and wiser. We hope this is a time that can good for you and hope you were a little encouraged by our story! Thanks for sharing your story!
Consult with others around you. He might be partly right if it concerns something that is over the top for him. Also study love languages and communication. Just no quick decisions.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't! It's hard to be okay with either outcome, but that's just how life is. Try to find peace in whatever circumstance you're in!
It's so nice to see someone have what I'm praying and hoping for. Really puts a smile on my face. I feel so happy for the two of you Me and my girlfriend broke up a couple days ago Not cause anything was bad or toxic but just cause things were getting really sad cause of the distance. We're still in love with each other but we're not a couple anymore we're just best friends. And we've been best friends since we were kids All I can do is hope and pray that we eventually get back together when the time is right Life doesn't make sense without her so I'm just gonna get my shit together and become a better version of myself so when the time comes she won't hesitate to get back with me This video kinda gave me hope haha I'm honestly so happy for you guys I hope you two stay happy together forever
Thank you so much for your kind words. We have been truly blessed with the journey we've had and wouldn't change our story for anything. Relationships can be hard, heartbreaking, and messy, but they refine us into better versions of ourselves. It is really encouraging to hear that you guys ended things well and are giving yourselves space to work on yourselves. This was the crucial ingredient to our relationship. We had tried to force it to work for a long time and peace only came after we just split apart and ended things for good. This gave us time to pray, reflect, reorient, seek advice and pursue community with other people. It allowed us to see that, while our relationship was a good and comfortable thing, it wasn't the end-all be-all. Oftentimes, we grow the most in uncomfortable and even painful situations - and this was especially true for us. We hope the best for you and your ex. Even if you two are not meant to be together, you have both had an impact on the other and have grown because of your relationship. Wishing you the best moving forward. Thanks again.
Am currently not in good terms with my boyfriend and I have faith that he's my chosen one. I believe that we will soon get back together much stronger and we will testify about God working in miraculous ways Amen.
If it happens, that's great! But it's also important to be okay with a different outcome. God gives us the peace to be content even when things don't go as we expect!
Wow thank you so much for sharing this - this was speaking directly to me. Long story short, my situation was sooo similar in so many ways - I was just like Ruth and my ex was like Thomas. He was rock solid and I was dealing with doubts on top of doubts - what ifs, is it really him, am I sure it's him? Literally everything you felt Ruth is what I felt lol! Eventually, I did feel God telling me "not now" and I adhered and ended the relationship as I wanted to be obedient. I didn't know what God would do but I just had to let go. This was almost 9 months back and as of recent, I've literally felt God change my heart and I just started feeling solid, something I had never felt before..I just felt "yep it's him" and so many other little things happened too that made me think wow I think we're really being led back together. Like you said, the break was definitely necessary for clarity. I felt convicted to call him recently where we talked for 5+ hours and he shared that his love for me hasn't changed despite our breakup. Ruth, I'm curious how you dealt with potential fears that may have come up even after you felt in your heart that you wanted to marry him? Did you have fears of what the new relationship would look like? Also, I'd love to know what was the process like of you two getting back together - did you have to have more candid convos about what you want/don't want moving forward etc.? I'm reaching out to discipleship on just more clarity on moving forward as it has been most of 2020 that we've been separated.
Hi Molade! Thank you so much for your comment! It's really interesting hearing about your experiences and how similar they are to where we were. When we got back together after the breakup, I was confident that God had truly changed my heart. I felt a deep peace and assurance that I had genuinely never felt before and I knew it wasn't of myself. It was a weird experience because I had always been the girl who over-analyzed everything and now I just knew. Now for Thomas on the other hand, it was much more difficult for him. My change of heart was so dramatic he had a difficult time trusting that my resolution was real, which was completely understandable. So yes, when we got back together we had many many candid conversations about where I was at, where he was at, talking through the ways I had hurt him in the past and how he felt like I had disrespected him. Thomas was open with me about the fact that it was just going to take some time for him to jump back in full force. We took things slowly, prayed together daily, learned how to talk about difficult issues, and eventually got to a solid place. I would say with your situation, especially since you two have been separated for the better part of a year, definitely don't rush anything. Be open and honest about how you're feeling, but then give him time to process and respond. I don't know if he's anything like my husband, but Thomas is not always very good at understanding his own emotions let alone verbalizing them. One of the biggest things that has helped our relationship is recognizing that we think differently and that's okay -- in fact it's a good thing! We get to learn from each other every day and grow towards Christ. We find joy in our differences (most of the time 😂) and that unifies us. I have learned to give him a lot more time to think through our issues instead of feeling like we have to resolve everything NOW. I hope things go well with you and your man! We should connect on Instagram or something so we can stay in touch. ♥️
I was deeply touch by your testimony! My boyfriend and i broke up recently. It wasnt so cleared for me the reason why he has to do this to me. I tried to understand him. I ask God to help me understand the reason why. It is our second break up. It was sudden. But i never stops kneeling down to God to help me, to be patient enough in waiting and to give me the sign. We go through a lot during 5 years of in a relationship. We are both christians. But i am still praying that everyday God will give him more strength and clarity. Actually for the both of us. Sometimes i lose hope. But i still love him. But things is out of my control. So i will let God will work it out this time. Thank u for the testimony.
I am going through a situation myself. And while the circumstances are not the same, I have such a love and desire to prove to her that I have recognized who I have in front of me and what is wrong with me. I want to prove it to her that I have changed and that we will not go back to the way it used to be. I just hope and pray that I get that opportunity to prove it to her.🙏🏼
I'm praying for you right now. Admitting when we are wrong can be such a hard thing to do, but it allows us to grow immensely. One of our closest friends has gone through something so similar, and while he has not yet had the opportunity to show his ex how he has changed and grown over the past few months - it has still been really good for him. Sometimes breakups give us the freedom to really look inward and improve ourselves - not just for the sake of another person, or trying to win them back - but truly to just become better versions of ourselves. I'll be praying that God gives you peace, joy, and strength. Know that, even if you don't get the opportunity to show her how you've grown, you are still better off because you have learned more aspects of humility and have improved because of the experience. I hope God blesses your continued journey!
@@RuthandThomas Thank you so much. It has been a month since we broke up and while I have had small interactions here and there, it just hasn't been the same. She is going through a lot with her own self and so I can see where the stress became unbearable. While I will never be able to enter her mind and figure out the real reason why this happened, I will just need to put my trust in God. It's hard at times but, I have been lead to these words..... “Do not be afraid; just have faith.” It's hard but I just have to put my faith in God. God bless!!!
I think we're going to be awkward forever! I have little hope we'll grow out of that. 😂 We are really thankful we met each other though! It's weird thinking about all the factors that had to happen in order for us to be together... We could have just missed each other. How did you two meet?
@@RuthandThomas We were set up by a shared acquaintance. We went through some trials. My 10 year old son was killed 4 months after we met. We 100% know God put Trevor in my life to get me through that. He was my lighthouse in the dark. It was months of darkness, I couldn't hear or feel God. I was so mad. Jesus used Trevor to hold me close. This sped up our relationship and we married 1.5 years after we met. Marriage has been great, it's blessed and no matter what this world throws at us, together with Jesus we always manage together and cone out stronger. -Shawna🍁
I loved the analogy about the tectonic plates and the opposite force (“person”) that pushes you up through the situation so you can improve yourself! I’ll take this thought for my life =)
This gives me hope, although I almost don’t want to hope…. my girlfriend and myself are breaking up due to her moving several states away for work, after us only dating for a month. We have awesome chemistry, love each other’s company and it’s honestly been possibly the best month of my adult life, but she feels we should part ways at the moment. My heart is heavy; we’re both Christians who’ve dated other people, but never been in prior serious relationships and I (28) and her (26) are serious about treating each other right. Just after we met, she was offered the work opportunity of a lifetime, something she’d chased for years. Her people are telling her to chase that, and who could blame them, but it still hurts. I’ve received good counsel from friends who are praying, but trusting God with this is HARD! Especially, being at peace with the outcome in the likely event that this is the sudden end of what seemed an awesome thing….
Thanks so much for reaching out to us. The hardest part of breaking up is always trusting that God will use whatever the situation is for good. I know that, for us, the best part of breaking up was being able to re-prioritize and look at the relationship from an outside perspective. Giving ourselves the space to process and pray independently of each other - allowed us to see the good and how our relationship could continue to work if we got back together. But your situation sounds really difficult. I (Thomas) can't imagine how hard it is knowing that you will both be so far away. We'll be praying that God gives you both peace and clarity during this. Trials like this can often bring a lot of clarity. Thanks again for sharing with us, continue to meet with your friends and mentors - they are the ones that will continue to ground you and give you perspective and wisdom!
@@RuthandThomas thanks for the depth of your response! We met this morning over coffee and talked about us. She struggled a lot with the thought of moving after we’d just started seeing each other. We agreed that distance can be overcome; we plan to write each other and let it take its course. If it’s meant to happen it will, but effort on our parts is necessary - we won’t be dating anyone else while this transpires of course.
Our 10 year wedding anniversary is this December. Been together 11 years now. In a good marriage it just gets better, still work of course. Communicating is so important, growing together too. We 100% believe God put us together and now no man will separate us; same with you both. Just keep having fun together, Communicating and praying. Life is hard but easier together xx-Shawna🍁
Wow congratulations you two!!! I love that you mention growing together. I think that is so crucial. And God's grace!!! Marriage without Jesus seems nearly impossible... We need Him every day! Thanks again for checking out our channel! We need the encouragement and wisdom from couples who have been together longer. 😍
This comment is so sweet. 😊 Thanks for letting us know. It's our story and we know it isn't the same for everyone, but we just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and are really happy. We've grown closer every day and are really thankful for all the trials we've gone though. Glad we could provide some encouragement for your day.
Thank you! Our mutual faith is definitely the foundation for our relationship. We have been so blessed throughout our relationship and are incredibly thankful for how the lord has taken care of us over the years. Thank you for your kind words :)
I left a comment on another video recently about your quirky date ideas (the trivia egg roulette went FANTASTIC, btw), but I felt moved to comment on this video also. My girlfriend (i have the ring, so soon-to-be fiancee!!) and I watched both parts and I have sooo many things I want to say, but I'm going to keep it brief. She and I dated for a little over a year (Nov 2018 - Jan 2020) and she broke up with me because the Lord was dealing with her. I was not following God and she was convicted to break up with me. That really shook me...hard. I spend weeks running away from how I felt about that until one day on my way to work, I just began to pray; and for the first time, I felt that God was listening. Fast forward almost a year later and we got back together (Feb 2021) with both of us fully committed to Christ. While I have not officially proposed, we have a date set for March 2022. I want to say that we cried watching this video with how much of our journey together is reflected in what you've been through. We want to thank you so much for sharing your story! We love you both and are praying for you both!
Wow, your story is so beautiful! It’s incredible how much we are able to see when we take a step back and reflect apart from each other. Even to this day, we’ve been married for 4 years and I (Thomas) still like to take some time every few months or so for just solo prayer and reflection. If Christ is the focuses on our lives than we are more able to approach our relationship with more humility and care for each other. But thank you so much for your kind words, we are SO EXCITED for you guys! Do you know yet how you plan on asking her to marry you??
I also have the same centiments with ruth, that if we fight maybe we're not meant for each other. But my pastor told me that, "that's because you know each other more, rubbing each other."
Conflict can be a good thing IF you are able to communicate in a productive and loving way. Just yelling at each other and trying to be right is usually never beneficial for your relationship, but talking about hard things in a respectful way is a good skill to practice. We have come a long way and are still learning more about each other every day!
Thanks for sharing, and being so open about the imperfections of relationships. I think my biggest question is when and how does it click that you want to be more than friends, and then ready for marriage?
This is a really good question and I think genuinely differs from person to person. I know this answer sounds like a cliched cop-out, but even the both of us experienced it very differently. We talked about it a bit in our first love story video, but we spent 3 months becoming best friends before I (Thomas) ever expressed romantic interest. I thought she was beautiful and charming and could make a great partner in life. But I didn’t know too much about her and wanted to work out any doubts I had prior to ever mentioning it to her - so that I didn’t lead her on. So then, by the time I had mustered the courage to ask her out, I had already thought about a future marriage with her. For Ruth, it wasn’t that easy - she had never really loved another person romantically and struggled a lot with even knowing if she ever would. She knew that she enjoyed being in relationship, but had a hard time imagining a long-term till-death-do-us-part commitment. She had doubts and fears throughout much of our dating. We prayed almost ever night together, took many breaks from each other, and sought a lot of advice from older people who had been in a similar situation. Looking back on it, neither of us have ever worried or had any doubts since the fall of 2016, but we still don’t really know why. God just really changed Ruth’s heart and gave us both immense peace, clarity, and joy; and we haven’t ever looked back.. I think the “clicking” really happened for us with time and friendship. I hadn’t ever dated anyone and Ruth had never dated anyone seriously so it was crucial for us to build a solid foundation of trust and familiarity before ever trying to be more than friends. Then we just waited on the LORD to ready both of our hearts for marriage. Ultimately, we just communicated everything that we were thinking - I wasn’t afraid to tell Ruth I loved her and wanted to marry her some day and she wasn’t afraid to express her own doubts and fears. Open communication, regular prayer, and a lot of patience - and that was pretty much it! (Sorry this answer was so long-winded, but I hope it helps answer your question at least a little bit - we will probably be releasing a Love Story - Part 3 video in the coming weeks)
I just got in contact with my ex again. I don’t know if we will be able to rekindle. I would like to! We had some growth to do on both ends and I know I’ve made progress! I’m praying that we are able to have a better relationship
Hi Ruth and Thomas thank you for sharing. During the time of your break up was Thomas praying for you to have a change of heart? Or were you praying for a change of heart? How did prayer have a role in your relationship being reconciled?
I don't think either of us were necessarily praying for a change of heart. Rather, we were just praying that God's will would be done -- whether we ended up together or apart. We wanted to be at peace with whatever the result was. In the end God gave me (Ruth) peace about being together, but it could have gone the other way and I wanted to be joyful and content no matter what happened. So I think prayer played a bigger role in changing my attitude and outlook than the circumstances.
Oh wow! Well thanks for stopping by 😊We also believe there are no coincidences and God works all things together for good. Hope this video was an encouragement to you!😁
Me and my ex who from the Philippines were together these past 2 years and some change. I was in a pretty dark place before talking to her. 2 years later we had our ups and downs we like to argue and we're both annoying that way and we seem to click so well and over time i guess she felt neglected at times and had her doubts and over time i guess she decided to end it for good and have met someone else couple weeks after. When i found that out we argue again cause we're annoying that way but a voice in my head told me to say how much she meant to me what she did for me in my life and how grateful i was for her and that I'll work hard to be a better me. And that if she ever wanted to talk I'll be there and that i love her always. It was the only thing to keep my head up and continue while she was with someone else.
Absolutely! One of our main goals of starting this channel was to just share some of our experiences and hope that people can get something out of them. We've made a lot of mistakes, but are so thankful for everything that made us who we are. We share the same values and really want to work together to spread joy, love, and faith - and it is because of our quirky and, at times, hard relationship that we continue to grow every day. We hope you were encouraged by our story! Thanks so much for your support 😁
11:57 Ruth speaks #Truth I didn't know stories like that existed either, hence why I'm here. A lot of this can be explained with #Psychology #JustSaying 🤷♀️
haha yeah, I think most of the issues people face in relationships are making unfair comparisons, having unrealistic expectations, and poor communication...
Thanks, Carter! We were listening to the BEMA Podcast and Marty described marriage as two boards leaning against one another; the opposing force is what allows them to stand. We adapted it a little because, more than just standing still, conflict in our relationship was fundamental to our GROWTH... Since then, the creation of a mountain has remained a symbol of our own marriage.⛰🏔
I just want to say thank you - Thomas what you shared at the end of the video was very helpful. I think time and processing and being excited and fully committed are all important factors in getting back together with someone. Thomas, I’m wondering if you have any advice as the person who was fully committed at first and how to deal with someone wanting to get back together with you? I’m currently in this situation. I want to be with this person but now I feel scared and still hurt. Thank you both and God bless!
That's a really good question! I was ready to get back together with Ruth because I just liked her company a lot, still loved her, and wanted an excuse to see her often. But when we got back together, she was ready for an engagement and I still needed some time. Honestly, depending on the severity of how you were hurt, those wounds could stay with you for a long time. It's important to give yourself the time and space to process everything that happened, journal about it, pray about it, and ultimately decide whether or not you want the other person to be your partner. In our relationship, Ruth showed me just how radically she had changed and grown in the time that we were apart, so it was relatively easy to forgive and move on. She was so different and doubt-free, that it was an entirely different relationship. Everyone's story is different, but I'll be praying for you both. Thank you for sharing.
Oh good! We hope so! We know not everyone can relate to our story, but when we were dating I wished I knew more people that were going through similar things and could be an encouragement. We love sharing our experiences!
Thank you for your courage to share your story and openly discuss the challenges of relationships. I was just wondering whether the two of you maintained any contact during the breaks and after the break up? Was it challenging to step back from the relationship after you had dated for some time? God bless you both and your marriage 🙏🏻❤️
Yes to both. It was challenging, but we both used our *many* break-ups to build community with those around us, and so we never really had to experience the intense loneliness many people experience. It was actually kind of nice to regularly take a step back from our relationship and spend more time with our friends, rather than relying on each other as an emotional crutch. But we still kept some contact between us. Honestly, I (Thomas) thought that it was important for us to maintain a semblance of contact because I still saw a future for our relationship and wanted to reassure Ruth that I still cared for her and valued her as a friend. However, our interactions were limited to group interactions, work-related activities (as we still worked together regularly), and praying together. Praying together is not something a lot of people do after they break-up and I don't even know if I would recommend it because every relationship is different, but I believe this was a huge reason why we were able to ultimately come back together and restore our relationship. We both wanted to do what was wise and right and so we regularly prayed together during our breakups for peace and clarity for each other. This allowed us to stay in contact and affirm each other, but it put the focus on our personal and independent growth and maintained that emotional space we needed to grow on our own. When we were in college and taking "breaks" from each other, I would still text Ruth encouraging thoughts I would have and she would do the same. We didn't text a lot as we both wanted to respect the "space" that we were giving each other, but I think we really valued knowing that the other was still thinking about us. This isn't for everyone, but if there is still trust in the relationship then I think it is still acceptable and even preferred that you maintain some level of contact. It doesn't have to be much, but the occasional spontaneous text lets the other know that you still care about them and, while you need your space to work through some things, you enjoy their company and want the best for them. I know this is probably more lengthy than you were expecting, but all of this made it a lot less challenging to step back from our relationship when we needed to. It was still hard (because break-ups are unbelievably painful), but it was made less-so because we knew that God was still present in our relationship. Prayer centered us both on what was important - our individual, personal walks with Jesus; affirming one another in social situations (and the occasional brief text exchange) re-established our trust in each other and reminded the other that we were still attracted to them (despite being emotionally and physically separated); and keeping our distance allowed us to turn to our close friends and mentors for wisdom - giving us the comfort and support of community and not using our past relationship as a crutch. Sorry to be so long-winded, but we hope this helps clarify some things! Thanks so much for your love and support 😊 and let us know if you have anymore questions!
Hey guys, thank you so much for sharing your story! Your story is so relatable. Ruth, do you have any advice in how you spent your time w/ God during your breakup with Thomas? (Coming from a Christian who also struggles with a lot of relationships doubts/overthinking). God bless! :-)
We're so glad that you were able to relate to our story! It wasn't the smoothest road, but we truly feel like it built a solid foundation for our marriage. The cool thing about where we worked at that time was that we were out in the middle of nature every day. During our time apart, I tried to get outside to clear my head, spend time reading scripture, and then also have open, honest conversations with my friends and mentors. I've found that God often speaks through other people! Seek wisdom outside yourself and always follow the peace! Ultimately God gave me a peace about Thomas that I couldn't argue with and that's when I knew we were right for each other. As a fellow over-thinker/doubter, I hope you find clarity from the Lord like we did!
Aw guys this is such a special video 😀😍🥰 thank you so much for sharing this! P.s those letters are absolutely special 💖 😅😅😅 i just laughed when you said big hands that don't sweat 😅
He put so much thought and heart into those. I'm really glad I saved them all to look back on some day! Haha I know, I had such ridiculous requirements on my list.
My girlfriend recently broke up with me because she wants to have space and time for herself. I'm planning on getting back with her next year after my military training. I was her first boyfriend and she was my first girlfriend hopefully everything will be okay. We're friends after we brokeup and still communicating with each other.
I’m really sorry to hear that. Breakups can be one of the most painful experiences in the world, but they do give us space and time to reevaluate our priorities. Hopefully your time apart gives you both the opportunity to grow and learn more about who you want to be as individuals - so that you better know what you want in your partner. I am glad to hear you’ve been able to maintain contact - that is so important. Praying for you both right now that you have wisdom, clarity, and peace with whatever the outcome. Thanks so much for sharing!
Hahaha it’s true!! That’s why he didn’t deny it. 😂 He just needs time to process before speaking.. whereas I on the other hand talk before thinking lol.
@@RuthandThomas BUT I have gotten a lot better at being able to process things in the past few years. Now, I don't really need to write things down; I just need a few minutes... :)
And now you should do challenges together, for example the most exciting shoulder ride. would you. Thomas be prepared to invite her for a ride? and would you, Ruth, have the guts to mount a shoulder ride horse? Then go ahead and have lots od fun!
Thanks for the comment. We always enjoy doing interesting and creative dates! Ruth is still having some issues with her meniscus (she tore it about a year and a half ago), but otherwise we're always up for physical and different challenges. Thanks for the idea!
Yeah, it was really hard. I had emotionally invested my future into this relationship and it was suddenly over. But the biggest help I had was a close-knit community. There weren't that many people at the camp we worked at and there wasn't too much to do - so my roommates and I would spend all day working together and then spend a lot of evenings hanging out, cooking meals together, building things, and working out. I say all of this to say that, despite the awesome community and perpetual busyness - it was still hard. We started a men's group that would meet together to talk and pray together - and that helped a lot - but I missed Ruth and sharing everything with her. Looking back on it tho, I wouldn't have changed that time at all. Because we had broken up, I was able to be there for my friends and roommates as they struggled through break-ups and different life struggles - and I was able to spend a lot of time in personal prayer and meditation. When things are going well for me I tend to forget to set aside quiet time for myself and quickly neglect prayer - so I really benefited from having my world turned upside down. It caused me to take a step back and re-evaluate, which I was desperately in need of. Sorry that I'm a bit long-winded, but if I could just offer a little sliver of encouragement it would be to seek out a solid community of like-minded guys. Have 1-3 close friends that you can share everything with and invest in those friendships. And finally, don't be afraid to be alone - use the time to improve yourself, ask the big questions, seek answers from mentors and those who have gone before you, and pray daily. Hope this helps! Praying for you now.
Lovev's life true love Never die I know a great and powerful healer that can get back your ex or crua without delay Just forever within 48hours he helped me too immediately
So there were a lot of doubts we both had to wrestle with throughout the relationship. Neither one of us wanted to force a relationship that wasn’t going be healthy long-term - so we just both had to get on the same page. I think one of the most practical ways we fought for the relationship was praying together and communicating regularly. - even when we broke up we still prayed together a lot and shared how we were feeling. Don’t make your partner guess what you’re feeling. A relationship takes mutual investment from both sides and you both need to share what you want out of the relationship. Ultimately, I think we both just prayed consistently for clarity and peace - and tho it took 1 1/2 years - the Lord provided and we got it. God’s in control and we just needed to trust in that. ☺️ Sorry to be so longed-winded, but I hope that answered your question!
@@RuthandThomas we still have communication with ex now. It's just that he is busy with his works and school. That he couldnt reply easily. I miss him. But everytime i think about him i prayed to God for compfort and make him always happy. I want him back but i cant control his heart. Do i need to give him more time and space? Please help me what to do with it!
@@skymoon8857 It's hard to give you advice since we don't know your situation. Every relationship is different! Find people you trust that are older and have experience and ask them for counsel! Ultimately follow the peace in your heart.
@@AmandaBMpofu Hey! I'm just seeing this. In college I was an ISTJ (so the exact OPPOSITE of Thomas haha). But I think we are both on the border of E and I!
Lovev's life true love Never die I know a great and powerful healer that can get back your ex or crua without delay Just forever within 48hours he helped me too immediately
Hi Patty! Thanks for reaching out. I usually chat with people via direct message on Instagram. Would that work for you? You can find us @ruthandthomas!
That’s a good question! I (Thomas) didn’t really need to be asked. Yes there had been some hurts and frustrations, but when she told me she felt peace about being in a relationship again I listened to her. It would take a few months to build that trust back and our relationship moved a little slower for the next 2 months, but we both knew we wanted the relationship. There isn’t one way to ask someone to get back together. I think it’s just being open and honest with the other person, giving them space and time to work through their own emotions, hearing their concerns, and trusting that it will work out if it’s meant to work out. Hope that answered your question! ☺️
@@RuthandThomas we have been married for almost 9yrs, together for almost 13. We were 21 when we started dating, he was my first, i was probably his 10th lol i would unload what was on my mind on him, and get frustrated when he stayed silent. I am the one driving the relationship forward, while he takes a passive approach. We were so young when we started dating, it feels like a lifetime ago. This year we are working on finding our selves, we got so wrapped up in being the image of a husband and wife, and then being parents that we forgot ourselves in all of it. When we started dating, we were still discovering who we were.
Haha that's so cool to hear that you can relate! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world that struggles with the things I do or thinks the way I do. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone. ♥️
Haha not really sure where we would be on the Meyer-Briggs scale if we were to take the test now - we are both SO DIFFERENT than we were when we first met. Ruth was a strong ISTJ and I (Thomas) was a strong ENFP - but after being together for 7 years I think we've both kinda morphed into each other in different ways haha
Hi Ethan, thanks for your feedback! That's actually why we're sharing our story because I don't feel like I did everything right in our relationship. I WAS playing games with his heart and it hurt him for a long time. We've come through that stage stronger and more unified through open conversation and forgiveness. We hope that people can learn from our experiences!
Sometimes you have to go through the hard times first in order to know if you truly love this person. Great story and I love how you weren’t afraid to sit with your doubts and uncertainty until it passed . No relationship is perfect but this is a good model and inspiring for me to take my time with things and allow things to flow from grace 🤍
We are so grateful that we had the time to be able to sit in our doubts and work through things, but we know that not everyone has the same experience. Ultimately I think having a deep respect for each other was a big factor in getting through all of our tough times!
Thanks so much for watching our story. It's always fun to relive the awkward first moments of a relationship and, while it was at times difficult, we are so happy to be able to share our journey with you. Have YOU gone through an experience similar to this??
We want to hear your questions and wisdom about your own relationship experiences in the comments below!
Your relationship is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.
I think Im going through this.....
Wow what an amazing testimony this really spoke to my heart. This
Reminds me of our story. If you could please pray for my ex fiancé and I. I would greatly appreciate it. I’m still believing God to change her heart supernaturally. I still want her and my family in my life.
Going through a little bit of this right now with my BF. We are taking a break/broke up so he can get some clarity. It gives me hope seeing a similar story and the outcome. Please pray for us. Thank you!
Me too😂
Is everything fyn now?
1. Don't Compare (every relationship is unique
2. Be A Team
3. Get to know your partner more.
Yes!! Those are great takeaways!!
All on point. Thanks
Praying that this will happen to me. We broke up because of circumstances and I have realized that I really miss him and want to get back togesther with him. Please pray for me.
Wow. I wish I get to have a love like theirs. That endures even months and years. My boyfriend and I are currently going through tough times, but testimonies like this gives me hope that we could get through it together. Hopefully we'll be able to communicate better, and come out of this better and stronger ❤
Thank you for your kind words! We did have to put a lot of work into building our relationship, but it paid off because we were both 100% invested and rely on Jesus to make us stronger and bring us together. Not everyone will have the same story as us and sometimes two people just aren't right for each other. Other times, you work through it and create a beautiful, lifelong partnership and romance! We are blessed to have found that. 😍 We pray that you and your boyfriend will find clarity and decide whether or not to have a future together. We know it can be a really difficult time! Thanks so much for watching and commenting.
Now your experience may be some how different from mine. Your issues with your husband may be a lot different from mine, but there is one thing I know for certain; you want to win your Lover back. No matter what type of relationship problems you’re experiencing (Dr. Peterwise) can be helpful. Even if divorced, you can be reconciled to each other. I personally know of 2 couples were have reconciled with each other even after a divorce with the help of Dr. Peterwise with his powerful spell. you can contact him also : peterwisespellhome@gmail.com
Any update on your story?
@@almalimonmedia22 hi! We're together again. I honestly think we're doing better since we've reconciled. Thanks for asking! ☺
The Lord must be the foundation of your life and relationship. It's the only way.
I was in a wonderful long-distance relationship but she broke up with me a month ago because I was too stubborn about where we can live together and left her no choice. Aside from distance, the relationship was very loving and amazing. I regret it now, I realised I really love her and want to be with her. I am now working on concrete plans to make our future possible. I am thinking of contacting her after she cools off a little and I already work more on the plans. I hope she will forgive me for my foolishness. Thank you for giving me hopes, especially Ruth, you show me the prespective from the female side.
Thank you so much for watching and we hope that you were able to relate to some of what we talked about! Of course, every relationship is different and we can't guarantee that yours will have the same outcome, but we do hope that you're able to reconcile your friendship, or maybe your relationship, with her. I'm glad that you're giving her some space for now while both of you reflect on the past and focus on growing as individuals! Thanks again for your support. 😍
updates?
How did it go?
Hope things went okay for you both?
Not good. Didnt go as I expected but I now have other focus in life. I wish her all the best.
My ex left me 6 days ago, because of something that had little to actually do with us but we talked yesterday and got everything out and have grown from those few days apart!
We’re doing great right now, back together, only telling a few people because it’s still fresh and we have some friends and even family who need time to cook off... it’s complicated.
But I’m a psych major with straight As and deep down I feel like this is the right move, I can’t be 100% sure what the future brings but now it feels good.
So seeing couples who aren’t toxic get back together and it works out long term. Helps me know that not all ex’s who get back together hurt each other more and things get better. So thank you for sharing your story!
Absolutely. It can be initially hard to build back your relationship, but it's now been 5 years since that break-up and we have grown closer every day. Our story will not be reflective of everyone's journey, but we got back together in the fall of 2016 and neither of us have yet wavered or doubted in this relationship. The breakup forced us both to reorient ourselves on our faith and evaluate the health of our relationship from the outside - which was so beneficial for the both of us.
And having been married now for 4 years we can say that, even when we are frustrated and get in the most volatile arguments, we still have immense trust in each other. It all requires very open communication, vulnerability, and commitment from both parties. But if that's there, then you can certainly build your relationship stronger than ever!
I’m going through such a hard time right now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 9 years. Our relationship has always been so perfect and we have always been so strong together and have had so much love for one another. Recently, he broke down to me saying that he wasn’t sure about us anymore that he was having doubts if he loved me anymore. We haven’t broken up, we are still together but I am currently giving him some space to think. Tonight he has his first psychologist appointment, he genuinely doesn’t know “ what is wrong with him “ and why he is feeling this way even though he desperately doesn’t want to feel this way. This guy is my absolute best friend, my world, my soulmate and I’m so destroyed that we’re going through this. I love him so much and he has always shown he loves me to death aswell. I really hope this is a rough patch in our relationship and that we will get through this stronger than ever.
We are so sorry to hear about what you guys are going through! It's great to hear that you are taking steps to meet with a psychologist and work together to figure things out. Whether you end up together or not, we hope that you can find peace and purpose through it.
Me and my girl spilt I am praying for a happy ending like this she is truly the one I want to marry
Hoping the best for you. It is always wonderful when you are able to reconcile and redeem a broken relationship, but it is so important to give the other person space to grow on their own. Really wishing that you guys can use this time apart to grow on your own and realize what you both want for your future. Thanks so much for watching our story and for the encouraging comment! Marriage is a beautiful thing, but the beauty is in the mutual commitment and security that the other person is just as invested in the relationship and you as you are in them - so I'm really hoping you find that!
I watched your video to get some positive vibes.. my boyfriend broke up with me 10 months back and I'm still waiting for him to come back and I have this great confidence and feeling that he will. Wish me luck ❤️😀
Good luck with everything! Obviously, we're just sharing our experiences and can't guarantee that yours will be the same, but we hope our story can serve as an encouragement and a reminder that relationships take hard work to stay healthy.
My girlfriend broke up with me Christmas eve and I tried to court her again but she rejected me and I invite her to be my valentine but someone already asked her and she said yes to him. Someone is courting her now but Im still waiting for her to comeback. I hope she will in the future🙏
My “boyfriend” and I went through this the summer before senior year. I didn’t understand and I was devastated at the time LOL but he needed the summer to get himself together and deal with some demons that I knew nothing about at the time. We have been together ever since. Married 15 years now with a 14 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. It all comes down to communication and work ethic, and selflessness. Other people do not have a crystal ball and we get so aggravated with people because we assume they must know how we feel and that they are doing whatever it is, on purpose. Unless you have a real deceitful spouse, that’s never the case… communication! We have even had to really work on that again in the last year. It can be an ongoing thing sometimes as you go through the seasons of life!
That's really sweet that Thomas married Ruth, his first girlfriend.:)
Thanks for checking out our video! I was waiting for the right person who could put up with me and I’ve been really blessed! ☺️
Ohhhh my goodness!!! I literally went through this😭 I came it of this relationship realizing that I was just sharing all the things that were wrong. Every little thing. It definitely created a rift with us. Im going through a breakup right now. It’s been almost a month and I just keep hoping that if we are meant to be, something will bring us back together.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Good luck to you!!
Aww you guys have such a wholesome relationship & something I long for💙 I’m currently going through a breakup but I like seeing other ppls happy relationships & make me hope to one day be that happy!! 😁
We're so sorry to hear that you're going through a breakup.. Can't imagine how hard that must be especially during this crazy time. Sometimes it's for the best and even better things are ahead for you! Stay positive, hold onto your joy, and keep moving forward!
Thomas and Ruth thank you for sharing your testimonies.
Your stories are exactly like mine 26 years ago.Me and my wife had never had a serious love relationship before meeting each other. God had told me before I met my wife to seek first his kingdom and to embrace my singleness and in time,As I Obeyed God would bring my wife to me. Marriage for me and my wife was a total learning process from day one however we had an advantage we had a loving heavenly father who taught us all the way.
AMEN. This is a beautiful testament to God's provision. Truly, if we seek Him and His Kingdom first, then He will provide and take care of us. We are learning more and more every day about what it means to love one another and maintain a healthy marriage, but we cannot imagine trying to do it without our Heavenly Father. He teaches and guides us every day and it's only through His grace that we have been so blessed. Marriage is an absolute treat and I (Thomas) am so unbelievably grateful to have a partner who is committed to her faith and encourages me to pursue Him more every day. Thank you for sharing your story with us - it really is a blessing to hear and CONGRATULATIONS on 26 years!
My boyfriend broke up with me and later we decided to give each other space to work on ourselves because he felt stuck and we were arguing with each other heavily, he had cheated with can girls. Anywho, We decided if we want to get back together we will meet at our favorite museum at 11:11pm on August 9th. I’m nervous but excited because I hope he keeps his word to me.
We're so sorry to hear about the difficulties of that relationship. One of the hardest things can be trying to revive a relationship after the trust has been broken. While it's possible, and certainly can be a beautiful thing, it takes a lot of hard work, humility, and time. We'll pray for you both that you have wisdom and peace; and that God would just make it clear whether or not you're supposed to get back together. Thank you for opening up and sharing with us. God is still good no matter what happens and He's got a plan for you far better than what you even imagine 😊
So, any updates?
Inspiring Ruth and Thomas. Going through something like you guys have been. Believing GOD will restore our relationship and bring us back together.
Glad we were able to share our story with you! Every relationship is different, but we hope you find peace and contentment wherever God leads you! Thanks for checking out our channel.
Amazing story ...my ex broke up with me 2 weeks back.. Got back talking within a week (ldr) .. Hopefully we'll get back together.. I love her a lot... Happy to see u guys back together.... Feel positive now
Thanks for watching!!
nice one. It's good your friends kept encouraging you. some will ask you to break up then you end up throwing away a good relationship just because of your differences.
I was expecting my friends to say the same thing, encouraging us to break up, but when they never did I knew there had to be something I was missing! And thankfully it worked out for us.
Love seeing a couple like you two. I'm 33 and never even been on a date, so be VERY grateful for what you have. I'm all warm and fuzzy inside now haha!
Aw thanks! I (Thomas) am so grateful every day. She pushes and challenges me to be a better version of myself every day. I am so glad I ever asked her out and I don't know where I'd be without her. Wishing the best for you!
Why you no date
Just kidding. I'm 39 and never been on a technical date. But now I'm in a 7 month long distance relationship with a woman who I feel so connected with. If it doesn't work out I am now sure I can find another girl (but I believe it will, just unsure about the distance) My advice to you, speaking as another unlucky person, stop looking in the mirror. Avoid your own reflection. This is an easy self awareness technique that disciplines your mind and let's you focus on what's going on around you. You will notice how much more out of your head you are, and may even find yourself acting purely on your own feelings. It's helped me find the girl of my dreams and part of it is I think I made her the girl of my dreams because I genuinely care about her. What I think is the problem is you are possibly a victim of narcissistic abuse. It has put you in your own head and made you believe warped things about yourself based on an image you have created. You have to destroy this image of yourself and the best way to do that is never see your own image. You will create a new and more accurate image in your own mind based on what is truly inside of yourself and people will react to this. It took me about a full year from March 2021 to February 2022 when I met the girl of my dreams. But in between that time I lost over 50 pounds and found my way out of major depression problems by focusing on what was happening in my body and reacting appropriately. Anyway.. 7 months later here I am. I've gained almost 10 pounds of muscle now and in a deep relationship with a beautiful woman. I get to fall asleep with her and the warmth she gives me sometimes makes me cry. I still do not look in the mirror. I think it's an amazing practice almost like a meditational feeling sometimes. Anyway good luck. I swear it is strange, I sometimes feel I now am like a luck magnet. You may also find you are like that. I think what it is is that I just appreciate little things more now
Learnt a lot❤
Thank you.
I've been waiting for this video for what feels like months!
Sorry it took so long! We had to think through what parts were important to talk about.. it was almost therapeutic to remember how far we’ve come. 😊
well great it worked out. I tried communicating to my bf multiple times what I need and he said i need to find happiness within myself and not rely on others. sure but then again you're a perfect example that it requires some work! your guy proved you matter to him. sad to find myself where im now...
We’re sorry to hear that you guys weren’t able to work through your differences. Relationships are always a two-way street and sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Whether or not you guys get back together in the future, breakups can be a good time to focus on yourself, work on personal growth, and get advice from people older and wiser. We hope this is a time that can good for you and hope you were a little encouraged by our story! Thanks for sharing your story!
Consult with others around you.
He might be partly right if it concerns something that is over the top for him.
Also study love languages and communication.
Just no quick decisions.
Logan and I did the exact same thing! We broke up and I realized I can’t live without him! Love you two ☺️✨
It's amazing what some time apart can do for your headspace! Glad you two worked it out and have a beautiful relationship now. 😍
Thank you, God, for these people sharing their story. Blessings
Watching this after my break up, however not giving up.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't! It's hard to be okay with either outcome, but that's just how life is. Try to find peace in whatever circumstance you're in!
It's so nice to see someone have what I'm praying and hoping for. Really puts a smile on my face. I feel so happy for the two of you
Me and my girlfriend broke up a couple days ago
Not cause anything was bad or toxic but just cause things were getting really sad cause of the distance. We're still in love with each other but we're not a couple anymore we're just best friends.
And we've been best friends since we were kids
All I can do is hope and pray that we eventually get back together when the time is right
Life doesn't make sense without her so I'm just gonna get my shit together and become a better version of myself so when the time comes she won't hesitate to get back with me
This video kinda gave me hope haha
I'm honestly so happy for you guys
I hope you two stay happy together forever
Thank you so much for your kind words. We have been truly blessed with the journey we've had and wouldn't change our story for anything. Relationships can be hard, heartbreaking, and messy, but they refine us into better versions of ourselves. It is really encouraging to hear that you guys ended things well and are giving yourselves space to work on yourselves.
This was the crucial ingredient to our relationship. We had tried to force it to work for a long time and peace only came after we just split apart and ended things for good. This gave us time to pray, reflect, reorient, seek advice and pursue community with other people. It allowed us to see that, while our relationship was a good and comfortable thing, it wasn't the end-all be-all. Oftentimes, we grow the most in uncomfortable and even painful situations - and this was especially true for us. We hope the best for you and your ex. Even if you two are not meant to be together, you have both had an impact on the other and have grown because of your relationship. Wishing you the best moving forward. Thanks again.
I know o f a man how help me gat my ex back.....W.h.z.t s.a.p.p.him..for..h.e.l.p....+2348073317460
Am currently not in good terms with my boyfriend and I have faith that he's my chosen one. I believe that we will soon get back together much stronger and we will testify about God working in miraculous ways Amen.
If it happens, that's great! But it's also important to be okay with a different outcome. God gives us the peace to be content even when things don't go as we expect!
If he's not grounded in Christ..don't marry.
Wow thank you so much for sharing this - this was speaking directly to me. Long story short, my situation was sooo similar in so many ways - I was just like Ruth and my ex was like Thomas. He was rock solid and I was dealing with doubts on top of doubts - what ifs, is it really him, am I sure it's him? Literally everything you felt Ruth is what I felt lol! Eventually, I did feel God telling me "not now" and I adhered and ended the relationship as I wanted to be obedient. I didn't know what God would do but I just had to let go. This was almost 9 months back and as of recent, I've literally felt God change my heart and I just started feeling solid, something I had never felt before..I just felt "yep it's him" and so many other little things happened too that made me think wow I think we're really being led back together. Like you said, the break was definitely necessary for clarity. I felt convicted to call him recently where we talked for 5+ hours and he shared that his love for me hasn't changed despite our breakup.
Ruth, I'm curious how you dealt with potential fears that may have come up even after you felt in your heart that you wanted to marry him? Did you have fears of what the new relationship would look like? Also, I'd love to know what was the process like of you two getting back together - did you have to have more candid convos about what you want/don't want moving forward etc.? I'm reaching out to discipleship on just more clarity on moving forward as it has been most of 2020 that we've been separated.
Hi Molade! Thank you so much for your comment! It's really interesting hearing about your experiences and how similar they are to where we were. When we got back together after the breakup, I was confident that God had truly changed my heart. I felt a deep peace and assurance that I had genuinely never felt before and I knew it wasn't of myself. It was a weird experience because I had always been the girl who over-analyzed everything and now I just knew. Now for Thomas on the other hand, it was much more difficult for him. My change of heart was so dramatic he had a difficult time trusting that my resolution was real, which was completely understandable. So yes, when we got back together we had many many candid conversations about where I was at, where he was at, talking through the ways I had hurt him in the past and how he felt like I had disrespected him. Thomas was open with me about the fact that it was just going to take some time for him to jump back in full force. We took things slowly, prayed together daily, learned how to talk about difficult issues, and eventually got to a solid place. I would say with your situation, especially since you two have been separated for the better part of a year, definitely don't rush anything. Be open and honest about how you're feeling, but then give him time to process and respond. I don't know if he's anything like my husband, but Thomas is not always very good at understanding his own emotions let alone verbalizing them. One of the biggest things that has helped our relationship is recognizing that we think differently and that's okay -- in fact it's a good thing! We get to learn from each other every day and grow towards Christ. We find joy in our differences (most of the time 😂) and that unifies us. I have learned to give him a lot more time to think through our issues instead of feeling like we have to resolve everything NOW. I hope things go well with you and your man! We should connect on Instagram or something so we can stay in touch. ♥️
I was deeply touch by your testimony!
My boyfriend and i broke up recently. It wasnt so cleared for me the reason why he has to do this to me. I tried to understand him. I ask God to help me understand the reason why. It is our second break up. It was sudden. But i never stops kneeling down to God to help me, to be patient enough in waiting and to give me the sign. We go through a lot during 5 years of in a relationship. We are both christians. But i am still praying that everyday God will give him more strength and clarity. Actually for the both of us. Sometimes i lose hope. But i still love him. But things is out of my control. So i will let God will work it out this time. Thank u for the testimony.
I am going through a situation myself. And while the circumstances are not the same, I have such a love and desire to prove to her that I have recognized who I have in front of me and what is wrong with me. I want to prove it to her that I have changed and that we will not go back to the way it used to be. I just hope and pray that I get that opportunity to prove it to her.🙏🏼
I'm praying for you right now. Admitting when we are wrong can be such a hard thing to do, but it allows us to grow immensely. One of our closest friends has gone through something so similar, and while he has not yet had the opportunity to show his ex how he has changed and grown over the past few months - it has still been really good for him. Sometimes breakups give us the freedom to really look inward and improve ourselves - not just for the sake of another person, or trying to win them back - but truly to just become better versions of ourselves. I'll be praying that God gives you peace, joy, and strength. Know that, even if you don't get the opportunity to show her how you've grown, you are still better off because you have learned more aspects of humility and have improved because of the experience. I hope God blesses your continued journey!
@@RuthandThomas Thank you so much. It has been a month since we broke up and while I have had small interactions here and there, it just hasn't been the same. She is going through a lot with her own self and so I can see where the stress became unbearable. While I will never be able to enter her mind and figure out the real reason why this happened, I will just need to put my trust in God. It's hard at times but, I have been lead to these words..... “Do not be afraid; just have faith.” It's hard but I just have to put my faith in God. God bless!!!
@@earthlylynx I can recommend to a man who restored my marriage back within 48 hours?
@@earthlylynx contact him
On whatsapp
@@earthlylynx
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Cute story. So awkwardly young and adorable. I was in my 30's when I met Trevor; lucky you guys met so young -Shawna🍁
I think we're going to be awkward forever! I have little hope we'll grow out of that. 😂 We are really thankful we met each other though! It's weird thinking about all the factors that had to happen in order for us to be together... We could have just missed each other. How did you two meet?
@@RuthandThomas We were set up by a shared acquaintance. We went through some trials. My 10 year old son was killed 4 months after we met. We 100% know God put Trevor in my life to get me through that. He was my lighthouse in the dark. It was months of darkness, I couldn't hear or feel God. I was so mad. Jesus used Trevor to hold me close. This sped up our relationship and we married 1.5 years after we met. Marriage has been great, it's blessed and no matter what this world throws at us, together with Jesus we always manage together and cone out stronger. -Shawna🍁
“I thought he didn’t care...but all along he had been building me a concrete murder table in the woods!” 😂
🤣🤣 Haha touché
LOL
I loved the analogy about the tectonic plates and the opposite force (“person”) that pushes you up through the situation so you can improve yourself! I’ll take this thought for my life =)
Yes!! We love that idea! It has helped us so much in our marriage and we hope it helps you as well. 😍
@@RuthandThomas Thanks!! And yes! It’s great! I’ve already talked to some friends of mine about this analogy and they liked it a lot as well! =D
This gives me hope, although I almost don’t want to hope…. my girlfriend and myself are breaking up due to her moving several states away for work, after us only dating for a month. We have awesome chemistry, love each other’s company and it’s honestly been possibly the best month of my adult life, but she feels we should part ways at the moment. My heart is heavy; we’re both Christians who’ve dated other people, but never been in prior serious relationships and I (28) and her (26) are serious about treating each other right. Just after we met, she was offered the work opportunity of a lifetime, something she’d chased for years. Her people are telling her to chase that, and who could blame them, but it still hurts. I’ve received good counsel from friends who are praying, but trusting God with this is HARD! Especially, being at peace with the outcome in the likely event that this is the sudden end of what seemed an awesome thing….
Thanks so much for reaching out to us. The hardest part of breaking up is always trusting that God will use whatever the situation is for good. I know that, for us, the best part of breaking up was being able to re-prioritize and look at the relationship from an outside perspective. Giving ourselves the space to process and pray independently of each other - allowed us to see the good and how our relationship could continue to work if we got back together. But your situation sounds really difficult. I (Thomas) can't imagine how hard it is knowing that you will both be so far away. We'll be praying that God gives you both peace and clarity during this. Trials like this can often bring a lot of clarity. Thanks again for sharing with us, continue to meet with your friends and mentors - they are the ones that will continue to ground you and give you perspective and wisdom!
@@RuthandThomas thanks for the depth of your response! We met this morning over coffee and talked about us. She struggled a lot with the thought of moving after we’d just started seeing each other. We agreed that distance can be overcome; we plan to write each other and let it take its course. If it’s meant to happen it will, but effort on our parts is necessary - we won’t be dating anyone else while this transpires of course.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and we just broke up…it hurts so much but I feel like we’re meant to be together…
So sorry to hear about the break up. Separation is always incredibly tough..
Our 10 year wedding anniversary is this December. Been together 11 years now. In a good marriage it just gets better, still work of course. Communicating is so important, growing together too. We 100% believe God put us together and now no man will separate us; same with you both. Just keep having fun together, Communicating and praying. Life is hard but easier together xx-Shawna🍁
Wow congratulations you two!!! I love that you mention growing together. I think that is so crucial. And God's grace!!! Marriage without Jesus seems nearly impossible... We need Him every day! Thanks again for checking out our channel! We need the encouragement and wisdom from couples who have been together longer. 😍
@@RuthandThomas we are also fellow Christians. ❤
This beautiful love story is so innocent and pure, that it literally took me out of my negative head space. Thank you for sharing.
This comment is so sweet. 😊 Thanks for letting us know. It's our story and we know it isn't the same for everyone, but we just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and are really happy. We've grown closer every day and are really thankful for all the trials we've gone though. Glad we could provide some encouragement for your day.
Oh my gosh, those letters!🥰 so darn sweet!
He is the sweetest!!! I lucked out.
This guy's awesome!. Honestly, you're a lucky gal.
I love to hear love stories that involve the lord. God bless y'all ❤ 🙏🏼.
Thank you! Our mutual faith is definitely the foundation for our relationship. We have been so blessed throughout our relationship and are incredibly thankful for how the lord has taken care of us over the years. Thank you for your kind words :)
I left a comment on another video recently about your quirky date ideas (the trivia egg roulette went FANTASTIC, btw), but I felt moved to comment on this video also. My girlfriend (i have the ring, so soon-to-be fiancee!!) and I watched both parts and I have sooo many things I want to say, but I'm going to keep it brief.
She and I dated for a little over a year (Nov 2018 - Jan 2020) and she broke up with me because the Lord was dealing with her. I was not following God and she was convicted to break up with me. That really shook me...hard. I spend weeks running away from how I felt about that until one day on my way to work, I just began to pray; and for the first time, I felt that God was listening.
Fast forward almost a year later and we got back together (Feb 2021) with both of us fully committed to Christ. While I have not officially proposed, we have a date set for March 2022. I want to say that we cried watching this video with how much of our journey together is reflected in what you've been through. We want to thank you so much for sharing your story! We love you both and are praying for you both!
Wow, your story is so beautiful! It’s incredible how much we are able to see when we take a step back and reflect apart from each other. Even to this day, we’ve been married for 4 years and I (Thomas) still like to take some time every few months or so for just solo prayer and reflection. If Christ is the focuses on our lives than we are more able to approach our relationship with more humility and care for each other. But thank you so much for your kind words, we are SO EXCITED for you guys! Do you know yet how you plan on asking her to marry you??
What a great story
❤
Thanks for sharing your story! I really like that you say you have to work together like a team. That has been so important in our relationship, too.
Yes yes yes. So crucial! And continuing to be best friends and having fun. How long have you and your partner been together?
@@RuthandThomas We've been together for 5 years (3 of those years was long distance :/ ) but we've known each other since 6th grade (does that count?)
Aaw you guys are great, loved your story! Also, Thomas mad respect for the effort you put to those letters!
Thank you so much for watching!! He really does write the best letters.
I also have the same centiments with ruth, that if we fight maybe we're not meant for each other. But my pastor told me that, "that's because you know each other more, rubbing each other."
Conflict can be a good thing IF you are able to communicate in a productive and loving way. Just yelling at each other and trying to be right is usually never beneficial for your relationship, but talking about hard things in a respectful way is a good skill to practice. We have come a long way and are still learning more about each other every day!
@@RuthandThomasYess thanks. God bless you godly couple
@@emploridel I know o f a man how help me gat my ex back.....W.h.z.t s.a.p.p.him..for..h.e.l.p....+2348073317460
Awww I love hearing this part of the story! And thanks for the shoutout! I still think you guys are meant to be! #endgame 🥰🥰🥰
Thanks for always sticking by our side. 🥰 And explaining to me what goes on inside an ENFP’s mind. 😂😂😂
Thanks for sharing, and being so open about the imperfections of relationships. I think my biggest question is when and how does it click that you want to be more than friends, and then ready for marriage?
This is a really good question and I think genuinely differs from person to person. I know this answer sounds like a cliched cop-out, but even the both of us experienced it very differently. We talked about it a bit in our first love story video, but we spent 3 months becoming best friends before I (Thomas) ever expressed romantic interest.
I thought she was beautiful and charming and could make a great partner in life. But I didn’t know too much about her and wanted to work out any doubts I had prior to ever mentioning it to her - so that I didn’t lead her on. So then, by the time I had mustered the courage to ask her out, I had already thought about a future marriage with her.
For Ruth, it wasn’t that easy - she had never really loved another person romantically and struggled a lot with even knowing if she ever would. She knew that she enjoyed being in relationship, but had a hard time imagining a long-term till-death-do-us-part commitment. She had doubts and fears throughout much of our dating. We prayed almost ever night together, took many breaks from each other, and sought a lot of advice from older people who had been in a similar situation. Looking back on it, neither of us have ever worried or had any doubts since the fall of 2016, but we still don’t really know why. God just really changed Ruth’s heart and gave us both immense peace, clarity, and joy; and we haven’t ever looked back..
I think the “clicking” really happened for us with time and friendship. I hadn’t ever dated anyone and Ruth had never dated anyone seriously so it was crucial for us to build a solid foundation of trust and familiarity before ever trying to be more than friends. Then we just waited on the LORD to ready both of our hearts for marriage. Ultimately, we just communicated everything that we were thinking - I wasn’t afraid to tell Ruth I loved her and wanted to marry her some day and she wasn’t afraid to express her own doubts and fears. Open communication, regular prayer, and a lot of patience - and that was pretty much it!
(Sorry this answer was so long-winded, but I hope it helps answer your question at least a little bit - we will probably be releasing a Love Story - Part 3 video in the coming weeks)
Oh how cute the letters from Thomas 💗😍
Isn't he the sweetest? I will always cherish those letters from him!
I just got in contact with my ex again. I don’t know if we will be able to rekindle. I would like to! We had some growth to do on both ends and I know I’ve made progress! I’m praying that we are able to have a better relationship
Hi Ruth and Thomas thank you for sharing. During the time of your break up was Thomas praying for you to have a change of heart? Or were you praying for a change of heart? How did prayer have a role in your relationship being reconciled?
I don't think either of us were necessarily praying for a change of heart. Rather, we were just praying that God's will would be done -- whether we ended up together or apart. We wanted to be at peace with whatever the result was. In the end God gave me (Ruth) peace about being together, but it could have gone the other way and I wanted to be joyful and content no matter what happened. So I think prayer played a bigger role in changing my attitude and outlook than the circumstances.
This keeps popping up on my timeline. And I’ve yet to watch this video. God trying to tell me something? There are no coincidences… 🙏🏼
Oh wow! Well thanks for stopping by 😊We also believe there are no coincidences and God works all things together for good. Hope this video was an encouragement to you!😁
@@RuthandThomas Thank you! This was my 777 email on my gmail. 🙏🏼
Me and my ex who from the Philippines were together these past 2 years and some change. I was in a pretty dark place before talking to her. 2 years later we had our ups and downs we like to argue and we're both annoying that way and we seem to click so well and over time i guess she felt neglected at times and had her doubts and over time i guess she decided to end it for good and have met someone else couple weeks after. When i found that out we argue again cause we're annoying that way but a voice in my head told me to say how much she meant to me what she did for me in my life and how grateful i was for her and that I'll work hard to be a better me. And that if she ever wanted to talk I'll be there and that i love her always. It was the only thing to keep my head up and continue while she was with someone else.
Sounds like you're being strong through a tough situation! Keep it up!!
Thank you so much for telling your story!!
Absolutely! One of our main goals of starting this channel was to just share some of our experiences and hope that people can get something out of them. We've made a lot of mistakes, but are so thankful for everything that made us who we are. We share the same values and really want to work together to spread joy, love, and faith - and it is because of our quirky and, at times, hard relationship that we continue to grow every day. We hope you were encouraged by our story! Thanks so much for your support 😁
11:57 Ruth speaks #Truth
I didn't know stories like that existed either, hence why I'm here. A lot of this can be explained with #Psychology #JustSaying 🤷♀️
haha yeah, I think most of the issues people face in relationships are making unfair comparisons, having unrealistic expectations, and poor communication...
Can you go into more detail of how you reconciled?
Also love the tectonic metaphor!
Thanks, Carter! We were listening to the BEMA Podcast and Marty described marriage as two boards leaning against one another; the opposing force is what allows them to stand. We adapted it a little because, more than just standing still, conflict in our relationship was fundamental to our GROWTH... Since then, the creation of a mountain has remained a symbol of our own marriage.⛰🏔
I just want to say thank you - Thomas what you shared at the end of the video was very helpful. I think time and processing and being excited and fully committed are all important factors in getting back together with someone.
Thomas, I’m wondering if you have any advice as the person who was fully committed at first and how to deal with someone wanting to get back together with you? I’m currently in this situation. I want to be with this person but now I feel scared and still hurt. Thank you both and God bless!
That's a really good question! I was ready to get back together with Ruth because I just liked her company a lot, still loved her, and wanted an excuse to see her often. But when we got back together, she was ready for an engagement and I still needed some time.
Honestly, depending on the severity of how you were hurt, those wounds could stay with you for a long time. It's important to give yourself the time and space to process everything that happened, journal about it, pray about it, and ultimately decide whether or not you want the other person to be your partner.
In our relationship, Ruth showed me just how radically she had changed and grown in the time that we were apart, so it was relatively easy to forgive and move on. She was so different and doubt-free, that it was an entirely different relationship. Everyone's story is different, but I'll be praying for you both. Thank you for sharing.
This was really helpful!
Oh good! We hope so! We know not everyone can relate to our story, but when we were dating I wished I knew more people that were going through similar things and could be an encouragement. We love sharing our experiences!
Got engaged, I broke up, and now we are back together. Do I have to ask him to marry me?
This is inspiring! 🤍🔥
😊😊
Thank you for your courage to share your story and openly discuss the challenges of relationships. I was just wondering whether the two of you maintained any contact during the breaks and after the break up? Was it challenging to step back from the relationship after you had dated for some time? God bless you both and your marriage 🙏🏻❤️
Yes to both. It was challenging, but we both used our *many* break-ups to build community with those around us, and so we never really had to experience the intense loneliness many people experience. It was actually kind of nice to regularly take a step back from our relationship and spend more time with our friends, rather than relying on each other as an emotional crutch. But we still kept some contact between us.
Honestly, I (Thomas) thought that it was important for us to maintain a semblance of contact because I still saw a future for our relationship and wanted to reassure Ruth that I still cared for her and valued her as a friend. However, our interactions were limited to group interactions, work-related activities (as we still worked together regularly), and praying together.
Praying together is not something a lot of people do after they break-up and I don't even know if I would recommend it because every relationship is different, but I believe this was a huge reason why we were able to ultimately come back together and restore our relationship. We both wanted to do what was wise and right and so we regularly prayed together during our breakups for peace and clarity for each other. This allowed us to stay in contact and affirm each other, but it put the focus on our personal and independent growth and maintained that emotional space we needed to grow on our own.
When we were in college and taking "breaks" from each other, I would still text Ruth encouraging thoughts I would have and she would do the same. We didn't text a lot as we both wanted to respect the "space" that we were giving each other, but I think we really valued knowing that the other was still thinking about us. This isn't for everyone, but if there is still trust in the relationship then I think it is still acceptable and even preferred that you maintain some level of contact. It doesn't have to be much, but the occasional spontaneous text lets the other know that you still care about them and, while you need your space to work through some things, you enjoy their company and want the best for them.
I know this is probably more lengthy than you were expecting, but all of this made it a lot less challenging to step back from our relationship when we needed to. It was still hard (because break-ups are unbelievably painful), but it was made less-so because we knew that God was still present in our relationship. Prayer centered us both on what was important - our individual, personal walks with Jesus; affirming one another in social situations (and the occasional brief text exchange) re-established our trust in each other and reminded the other that we were still attracted to them (despite being emotionally and physically separated); and keeping our distance allowed us to turn to our close friends and mentors for wisdom - giving us the comfort and support of community and not using our past relationship as a crutch.
Sorry to be so long-winded, but we hope this helps clarify some things! Thanks so much for your love and support 😊 and let us know if you have anymore questions!
Hey guys, thank you so much for sharing your story! Your story is so relatable. Ruth, do you have any advice in how you spent your time w/ God during your breakup with Thomas? (Coming from a Christian who also struggles with a lot of relationships doubts/overthinking). God bless! :-)
We're so glad that you were able to relate to our story! It wasn't the smoothest road, but we truly feel like it built a solid foundation for our marriage. The cool thing about where we worked at that time was that we were out in the middle of nature every day. During our time apart, I tried to get outside to clear my head, spend time reading scripture, and then also have open, honest conversations with my friends and mentors. I've found that God often speaks through other people! Seek wisdom outside yourself and always follow the peace! Ultimately God gave me a peace about Thomas that I couldn't argue with and that's when I knew we were right for each other. As a fellow over-thinker/doubter, I hope you find clarity from the Lord like we did!
Aw guys this is such a special video 😀😍🥰 thank you so much for sharing this! P.s those letters are absolutely special 💖
😅😅😅 i just laughed when you said big hands that don't sweat 😅
He put so much thought and heart into those. I'm really glad I saved them all to look back on some day! Haha I know, I had such ridiculous requirements on my list.
My girlfriend recently broke up with me because she wants to have space and time for herself. I'm planning on getting back with her next year after my military training. I was her first boyfriend and she was my first girlfriend hopefully everything will be okay. We're friends after we brokeup and still communicating with each other.
I’m really sorry to hear that. Breakups can be one of the most painful experiences in the world, but they do give us space and time to reevaluate our priorities. Hopefully your time apart gives you both the opportunity to grow and learn more about who you want to be as individuals - so that you better know what you want in your partner. I am glad to hear you’ve been able to maintain contact - that is so important. Praying for you both right now that you have wisdom, clarity, and peace with whatever the outcome. Thanks so much for sharing!
@@RuthandThomas I found out before we broke up she cheated on me. But she still supporting and contacting me.
but i still hoping we end up together
@@RuthandThomas Thank you
@@神のご加護をいつも祈って笑う Don't let anyone come between you and your love, you can actually earn their love and make it too deep for the ocean to be jealous.
Ah we loved hearing your story!!! I can’t believe you said he’s better at writing than talking hahahaha but u guys seem perfect tgt! ❤️❤️
Hahaha it’s true!! That’s why he didn’t deny it. 😂 He just needs time to process before speaking.. whereas I on the other hand talk before thinking lol.
@@RuthandThomas BUT I have gotten a lot better at being able to process things in the past few years. Now, I don't really need to write things down; I just need a few minutes... :)
Thomas Phinney hahaha my husband is the same! Maybe it’s just with men? 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Yup, I agree with that statement!!
Did y’all have no contact at all during separation?
How lovely 🌷
Thanks so much! ❤️
And now you should do challenges together, for example the most exciting shoulder ride. would you. Thomas be prepared to invite her for a ride? and would you, Ruth, have the guts to mount a shoulder ride horse? Then go ahead and have lots od fun!
Thanks for the comment. We always enjoy doing interesting and creative dates! Ruth is still having some issues with her meniscus (she tore it about a year and a half ago), but otherwise we're always up for physical and different challenges. Thanks for the idea!
Great story
Aw thanks :) We sometimes forget just how hard our relationship started out, but we are so blessed that we were able to work a lot of things out!
Thomas when your apart did you have a tough time? I’m a very similar situation and I’m struggling a bit .
Yeah, it was really hard. I had emotionally invested my future into this relationship and it was suddenly over. But the biggest help I had was a close-knit community. There weren't that many people at the camp we worked at and there wasn't too much to do - so my roommates and I would spend all day working together and then spend a lot of evenings hanging out, cooking meals together, building things, and working out.
I say all of this to say that, despite the awesome community and perpetual busyness - it was still hard. We started a men's group that would meet together to talk and pray together - and that helped a lot - but I missed Ruth and sharing everything with her. Looking back on it tho, I wouldn't have changed that time at all. Because we had broken up, I was able to be there for my friends and roommates as they struggled through break-ups and different life struggles - and I was able to spend a lot of time in personal prayer and meditation. When things are going well for me I tend to forget to set aside quiet time for myself and quickly neglect prayer - so I really benefited from having my world turned upside down. It caused me to take a step back and re-evaluate, which I was desperately in need of.
Sorry that I'm a bit long-winded, but if I could just offer a little sliver of encouragement it would be to seek out a solid community of like-minded guys. Have 1-3 close friends that you can share everything with and invest in those friendships. And finally, don't be afraid to be alone - use the time to improve yourself, ask the big questions, seek answers from mentors and those who have gone before you, and pray daily.
Hope this helps!
Praying for you now.
Lovev's life true love Never die I know a great and powerful healer that can get back your ex or crua without delay Just forever within 48hours he helped me too immediately
Text him on WhatsApp
+1 (2 0 4 ) 8 0 8 2 2 3 4
Awwwww wow wow :') love them
Thank you so much for watching!! 😍😍
How did you fight for that relationship?
So there were a lot of doubts we both had to wrestle with throughout the relationship. Neither one of us wanted to force a relationship that wasn’t going be healthy long-term - so we just both had to get on the same page. I think one of the most practical ways we fought for the relationship was praying together and communicating regularly. - even when we broke up we still prayed together a lot and shared how we were feeling.
Don’t make your partner guess what you’re feeling. A relationship takes mutual investment from both sides and you both need to share what you want out of the relationship.
Ultimately, I think we both just prayed consistently for clarity and peace - and tho it took 1 1/2 years - the Lord provided and we got it. God’s in control and we just needed to trust in that. ☺️
Sorry to be so longed-winded, but I hope that answered your question!
@@RuthandThomas we still have communication with ex now. It's just that he is busy with his works and school. That he couldnt reply easily.
I miss him. But everytime i think about him i prayed to God for compfort and make him always happy. I want him back but i cant control his heart. Do i need to give him more time and space? Please help me what to do with it!
@@skymoon8857 It's hard to give you advice since we don't know your situation. Every relationship is different! Find people you trust that are older and have experience and ask them for counsel! Ultimately follow the peace in your heart.
@@skymoon8857 I can recommend you to a man who bring my ex back within two days.
@@skymoon8857 contact him on WhatsApp
Greay video guys, you are funny 😋 nice to meet you Moira&Paolo&Pedro
Thanks friends! We really appreciate your support. :) Where are you guys from?
@@RuthandThomas Hi guys we follow you from Italy 😊
@@TitoSuperTrip Wow, how exciting!! Love it! I hope to go to Italy someday.
@@RuthandThomas You will be welcome 😊
Good video.
Thank you so much for watching!
Is Thomas an INFP? His personality is so familiar.
In college he thought he was an ENFP, but I'd be curious for him to take the test again and see if anything has changed since then!
@@RuthandThomas Oh lovely! Definitely sensed the NFP-ness 😅. I'm curious about the result today as well.
@@RuthandThomas What about you? Hav you ever tried to take an MBTI Test?
@@AmandaBMpofu Hey! I'm just seeing this. In college I was an ISTJ (so the exact OPPOSITE of Thomas haha). But I think we are both on the border of E and I!
'Plays the piano' 🤭😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
Hahaha some things just aren’t as essential as you think 😆
Lovev's life true love Never die I know a great and powerful healer that can get back your ex or crua without delay Just forever within 48hours he helped me too immediately
Text him on WhatsApp
+1 (2 0 4 ) 8 0 8 2 2 3 4
Hi Ruth,
Would it be possible to email you? I'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.
Hi Patty! Thanks for reaching out. I usually chat with people via direct message on Instagram. Would that work for you? You can find us @ruthandthomas!
How did you ask him to take you back
That’s a good question! I (Thomas) didn’t really need to be asked. Yes there had been some hurts and frustrations, but when she told me she felt peace about being in a relationship again I listened to her. It would take a few months to build that trust back and our relationship moved a little slower for the next 2 months, but we both knew we wanted the relationship.
There isn’t one way to ask someone to get back together. I think it’s just being open and honest with the other person, giving them space and time to work through their own emotions, hearing their concerns, and trusting that it will work out if it’s meant to work out. Hope that answered your question! ☺️
@@RuthandThomas thanks. That does help.
Sounds like my husband and i
Neat to hear that you can relate to our story! We've been surprised by how many people have similar experiences. How long have you been married now?
@@RuthandThomas we have been married for almost 9yrs, together for almost 13. We were 21 when we started dating, he was my first, i was probably his 10th lol i would unload what was on my mind on him, and get frustrated when he stayed silent. I am the one driving the relationship forward, while he takes a passive approach. We were so young when we started dating, it feels like a lifetime ago. This year we are working on finding our selves, we got so wrapped up in being the image of a husband and wife, and then being parents that we forgot ourselves in all of it. When we started dating, we were still discovering who we were.
Ruth I literally feel like we have the same sorta story. Can we be pen pals? hahah
Haha that's so cool to hear that you can relate! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world that struggles with the things I do or thinks the way I do. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone. ♥️
As this point I just think that men only take young Asian women seriously for relationships.
Our story is unique to the two of us and it's hard to make generalizations about other relationships!
🥂
Thanks so much for watching 🙂 We really hope our story can be used to encourage others in similar situations. Thanks for the support!! 😊
Looks like the its a infj and infp tandem..:)
Haha not really sure where we would be on the Meyer-Briggs scale if we were to take the test now - we are both SO DIFFERENT than we were when we first met. Ruth was a strong ISTJ and I (Thomas) was a strong ENFP - but after being together for 7 years I think we've both kinda morphed into each other in different ways haha
Is he an enneagram 4
Hi! Thanks for the comment - we have never really looked in depth into the enneagrams but I think he's more of a 9.
Creepy and cute, but more cute 😂😂💕
Hahaha creepy AND cute... the "and" is the real kicker 😆😆
cute
Thanks! We had so much fun telling our story.
You all seem nice but it really seems like you try to keep him on his heels and some of the stuff you used to do seems like you were playing games,...
Hi Ethan, thanks for your feedback! That's actually why we're sharing our story because I don't feel like I did everything right in our relationship. I WAS playing games with his heart and it hurt him for a long time. We've come through that stage stronger and more unified through open conversation and forgiveness. We hope that people can learn from our experiences!
Ruth and Thomas ❤️❤️❤️
I'm really blessed by your story. I've learned do much. I stumbled on this one Google and tried to give it a shot. I'm really grateful I found it
Thanks for watching and listening to our story! ❤️
Sometimes you have to go through the hard times first in order to know if you truly love this person. Great story and I love how you weren’t afraid to sit with your doubts and uncertainty until it passed . No relationship is perfect but this is a good model and inspiring for me to take my time with things and allow things to flow from grace 🤍
We are so grateful that we had the time to be able to sit in our doubts and work through things, but we know that not everyone has the same experience. Ultimately I think having a deep respect for each other was a big factor in getting through all of our tough times!