Smack Talk: Solo A Star Wars Story Review
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- Опубліковано 24 тра 2018
- A review of the new "Solo: a Star Wars Story" film. Did Professor Tosspot enjoy Disney's barrel scraping? What do you think? =D
Like what you see? Help support this fledgling channel by leaving a tip here: www.paypal.me/Voxis - Розваги
Thanks for watching my humble little channel, and thanks for the likes and subs. It's very much appreciated. Also I had to re-upload this video because I got mixed up with one of the actresses in Solo. The Mouse did not get me (yet). But please spread this video like the plague, for some reason this video doesn't come up when you search Solo Reviews. Maybe it's me, or maybe UA-cam doesn't like me.
I worked my arse off putting this together and my health has been awful this month so thank you, again, for watching this. Also thanks to any of you who donated any pocket change to my channel - it went right back into the show.
I'm going to rest up but thanks for everything. Best fans EVER!
Who was the original ginger girl? You know, for research purposes xD also imma be honest here, I never clicked on a review so fast. I look forward to your review way more than the movie itself. I hope you're feeling better!
I have plenty of health issues myself, and your ability to pull off all these videos puts me to shame.
Voxis Productions why was it reuploaded?
Daniel Horsburgh He got the actress for Enfys Nest (god I hate this name) wrong. It wasn't the girl he showed. The real actress ain't as cute xD
Unchainedmaple888 Lily Newmark i think...
Calling him Solo because he's by himself is like saying Luke Skywalker actually walks across the sky.
Luckily he wasn't with somebody when he applied for that job, or he would be called Han Withsomebody.
Lol, Han Plus-One. He's male so maybe Han Man?
Solo+1= 2 should be the name of the sequel. It can be Ham Smirkydouche versus Therm Scissorpunch. Winner fights Big McLarge-Huge!
I puked a little in my mouth during that part. Stupidest thing I have ever seen in a film.
@Kevin G There's also the solo singer variant. You know, the one where they want you to sing solo they can't hear you?
Much more heart was put in these roasts than any of the new Star Wars movies.
IT STILL SUCKED SO WHAT IS THE DIFFERENACE !!
Objectively false.
AT this point, there's MORE FUN to be had in roasting the DisneyWars films than actually watching them.
That's what's sad!
I still think Smack Talk has done the best of tearing these films to shred while simultaneously explaining WHY they are so godawfully flawed.
THAT is quite an impressive feat!
Except Rogue One
@@anonymouspotato1082 yeah but Rogue One is only good by comparison to movies like TLJ. Objectively, it had many flaws as well. But at least it didn't shit all over the fans.
"The skin blob they are attached to..." Welp, there went my coffee and laptop
I agree.
I'm late, but you have my condolences.
ゼフィロぅP // Zefiro_uP Same here.
So how did you type this?
"...nerds want to tongue punch Emilia's fart box..."
Epic, nearly p*ssed myself.
Yes, me too. And then I let the image sink in...
Same here, that was epic
BUt she has such cute eyebrows!
In reference to Clarke, my roommate stated, "I'd drag my dick through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie".
@BLAIR M Schirmer Of course we do, but fucking leads to STDs (children), child support payments, and a very expensive 18+ year stint of misery. To that, I say, "noooooo fucking thank you".
Space Ranger Soylo.
Who's ready for Darth Maul: a star wars story where Darth maul savagely introduces sustainable energy into the empire
AMAZING! Where can I pre-order!? XD
you mean darth maul and his progressive lover of a shemale half robot independent dog? Cant wait
Those gas guzzling Mon Calamari cruisers don't stand a chance against clean solar powered TIE fighters.
While I would love Darth Maul and heck Savage and even Sadin in the Kenobi movie...I would hate for progessive Disney to ruin my good memory of the mandalore arc on clone wars.
A responsible energy policy is a good and necessary idea. Everyone deserves a basic level of respect. These things are facts. But goddammit, quit using _Star Wars_ to shove a political agenda down my throat!
Always refreshing to see someone who doesn't stomach this sterilized garbage.
The toaster comment had me rolling on the floor :)
The satanic Mickey mouse is a perfect caricature, hahahaha!
You mean Ricky Rat, the imposter who was installed as the new Head Mouse in the 1980s.
Mickey has been dead since 1966. He died with Walt...
ITS THE TRUE ONE
Wait... What do you mean by caricature?
@@rychadelko good point! ;)
"...and it doesn't matter because nerds want to tongue-punch Amelia's fart box..." You do have a way with words, Professor!
Professorship in linguistics at the school of pun and banter I gather?
Can't wait for the spin off movie focusing on JarJar Binks
especially when at this point he can be seen as a 'good character' by star wars post disney standards
No, the GNK droid movie is going to be the best one
Dryridley 208 - he was the real Sith Lord...
Finally a movie that explores the unseen chapter of how Jar Jar’s exile came to be.
darth Jar Jar's "bigger fish" story would be too interesting for them to make, so no.
Eloquent, sassy and straight to the point. This man should be heralded as a hero.
Hey you grumpy old git , many thanks for putting your time effort in awesome as always now piss off & work harder!!!
Thanks my man great stuff much love
This is my favorite UA-cam channel, by miles. Voxis, thanks for taking the hit for us, and subjecting yourself to this fecal matter, so we didn't have to! Get some rest, and get well! My thoughts and prayers.
This review is 1,000 times more entertaining than the film! Thanks for repurposing mediocrity into hilarity for all of us to enjoy :)
This review is awesome
Not really.
@@Dragonage2ftw Yes, really, 100% awesome. This review perfectly sums up why everything that Di$ney makes, is garbage.
"But it doesn't matter, because nerds want to tongue-punch Emilia's fartbox, and that gets more bums on theater seats." LMAO I'M CRYING! PROFESSOR YOU'RE DOING GOD'S WORK!
This is an absolute masterpiece. I'm boycotting Solo, Episode 9 and probably the Boba Fett movie that was announced this week, so this video was a superb alternative to watching the movie.
Fluffi Buni I haven't seen force awakens let alone this and last jedi lol my boycott is going strong
Think they cancelled boba movie now
Why would you boycott a SW movie?
Thankfully Fett was cancelled.
Pondimus Maximus Dont forget to give us your review of The Rise of Skywalker after you've caught the very first showing in your town!
This channel is one of the absolute best I've come across in these fifteen years of UA-cam. Absolutely brilliant commentary and good lord, the humour. Much love and appreciation ❤️
Wow, thank you! That means a lot.
Another fantastic review. There's more quality writing in your 15min than in those god awful 2h movies.
Just found this channel and immediately watched all of Professor Tosspot's videos a great character, very enjoyable. Thanks :)
Please keep making smack talk.
Keep watching them =)
I will!!
"Big McLarge Huge" What no love for Trunk Slamchest?
Cock Beretta!
Shoe fits steppington III
Cups drinkingsly
Steel knotwood
All great characters .
Slab Squatthrust!
Pimp Slappahoe
Blast Hardcheese!
Needed a re-upload? I see that even when Proff. Tosspot DOES start doing his job, UA-cam doesn't make it easy.
Consume it all.
NEVER
Hey it's a political channel i've watched and disagree strongly with, lemme obnoxiously point out all the fallacies in your Scandinavian model episode
Khaleesi's Eyebrows: CANNOT UNSEE.
From what I've read, a clear majority of fans had little interest in either a Solo or Fett stand-alone. Yet, here we are.
The one character-centric stand-alone that the fans _do_ want is an Obi-Wan movie--and I am one of those fans. When describing what they want from such a production, most of these fans speak of a film in the style of an old western or samurai picture, heavily focused on Kenobi and his time on Tattooine while watching over Luke. Done right, it could be a moving exploration of loss, purpose, and hope with plenty of room for some adventure and a bit of action. Sadly, Disney (read: Kathleen Kennedy) has shown no sign of ever making a Star Wars film that isn't overly Marvelized(TM) paint-by-numbers crap dripping with identity politics, aimed at a Chinese market that couldn't care less, and utterly soulless from having been born of a boardroom checklist.
Gonzo Strangelove couldn't agree more!!!
The future giggles.
Well done, Professor.
This movie was exactly what I thought is was going to be since Kathleen Kennedy's stink is all over it!!
You are right. Kathleen Kuntedy has a repugnant stench.
One thing he did get wrong was Solo making a shitton of money, but I can't blame him, before Solo, as SW movie losing money was inconceivable.
The Disney movies are just bad fan fictions. I do not consider them cannon
Michael Stambaugh star wars universe ended for me as soon as lucas’ stupid ass sold it to disney.
No way! True fans would come up with something much better than this garbage.
#disneysucks
noone with 2 braincells considers them canon.
luckily so doesn't dave filoni and that favreau dude.
the sequel trilogy just went in the garbage can with the newest mandalorian episode
lol
Damn you should have way more subs because you take time doing your vids and make them hella funny
Thanks!
Brilliant professor Tosspot, that message from Disney/Mickey at the end was the funniest stuff I have seen in some years!
Thanks. You’ve saved me ten quid going to the cinema. This will be the second Star Wars film I’ve not watched. Haven’t even streamed TLJ as I couldn’t get past Domhnall Gleason (Gen Hux) and Ade Edmonton’s (cant be arsed Googling it) characters’ interaction with Poe. As if Hux could become a General and be that thick!
I'm not gonna bother pirating this either. TLJ was TLSWMovie for me.
I've given up on Star Wars but I've really enjoyed Voxis reviews. The people who've watched The Last Jedi who I've shown these reviews to have said "Yeah, that's about right" after they've finished laughing.
Tom, exactly. So many of the characters in the Disney SW films don't make sense, behave inconsistently, and don't make decisions like real people.
EDIT: I wanted to add something based on a video I watched earlier today...
I stumbled across footage of interviews Mike Stoklasa did for his Plinkett review of _The Phantom Menace_ in which he asks people to describe characters from that film without simply saying something like "he's a Jedi" or "she's the queen". Thing is, they can't do it, despite being intelligent, creative artists. Why? Because the characters have little to no actual character.
Sure, the characters from the original trilogy are based on classic archetypes, but they were then written as individuals, persons with feelings, motivations, and reasons for their actions. Luke never did anything not Luke-like, nor did Han, or Leia, etc. Even as these characters grew and developed, their behavior stayed true to where they were on their journey.
This tendency of characters lacking true character has risen to a whole new level in the Disney films, as characters begin as a rough type, but are never fleshed out as individuals. They are not developed much beyond their "identity", and whatever cliche, general traits are perceived to go along with said identity. As such, the new characters don't behave like real people, but rather as vehicles for whatever trope or convenient plot device is required.
Fucking hell.
I felt the same way watching that scene with Hux.That was the point the whole thing hit the wall.My young son was very bored with that movie;so £28 saved taking the family to see this Damn that Mouse for destroying the old 😡😡😡
"Hux...general..that thick".
Well, they have built three death stars all with similar weakpoints. Yes, they are that dumb
But people are perhaps even dumber, 5 planets destroyed in TFA and those fighting against the new space Nazis are so few? Does not compute.
It's piss poor writing.
Ham Soy'o and Chewing Tobacco! Nice MST3k reference btw
Marry me, Professor Tosspot-I want to have your plushies!
PS. I thought Han' Solo was the polite American way of calling someone a wanker...
This just in Disney makes lowest-common denominator pg13 crap.
In equally shocking news, the sun rose this morning in the east & the Pope is still Catholic.
Yeah and all the more shame for it.
We have a generation of writers who specialized in political statements and thinly veiled allegory at the expense of narrative dominating the media; why? Because to them narrative serves message and nothing else; the story to them is a vehicle for their intent. Combined with the market driven side of the equations that has always aimed for the greatest possible audience & you have this caustic environment where creativity is enslaved to form.
Mr.13 Money. Money makes people go for the most profitable rather than the creative risk
Can't even be sure of the Pope of late.
That’s not what Solo is, though.
The Pope's a Catholic? What else have you been keeping from me?
But what do I do if my toaster actually IS gay?
It has a slot, doesn't it?
Put the butter on the flip side
“ but for those of us who do have sex” LMFAO
Thankfully the masses aren't watching it. Hollywood needs a major shakeup and to hurt so painfully financially it stops treating fandoms as cash cows. SOLO combined with Ghostbusters, Justice League and the last Transformers film's box office, has shown fans want a quality film - as well as one that is aligned with the values, tone and style that made the franchises so loved in the first place - and won't just cough up their hard earned cash because a branded logo is on a poster.
Thanks Proffesor, best review yet! I wonder how badly Disney will get burnt by the flaming car wreck that is now Star Wars.
Kettle Korn They wouldn't care if they are making MCU money
What a rollercoaster of a day. Elation at a notification of a new Smack Talk, crushing disappointment at seeing it had been taken down followed by sheer joy of the re-upload. Sad insight into my life? Time to get my priorities straight? Nahhhh. In an increasingly kindergarten world, Smack Talk is a breath of fresh air! Keep it up and best of luck with the health.
Hands down, the best movie reviews are on this channel.......nearly lost bladder control......so funny!
I grew up watching the original trilogy like many others. I had all three on VHS which was actually a pretty big deal back in the mid eighties. I played with the toys when I was a kid and I even remember enjoying what I now know as an awful cartoon, the Saturday morning show Droids. It was Star Wars I didn't care about anything else. I was too young to see Hope and Empire in theatres, but I've seen all the other films, including the special edition re- releases, in the theatre, save for The Last Jedi and now Solo. I wouldn't say I'm a fanboy, but I am a big enough nerd to have played all of the X-Wing and Tie Fighter games on pc.
I'm the fan they're trying to appeal to with this film, and I'm the fan they're telling to fuck off with the new trilogy. I feel like Lucasfilm has borderline personality disorder or something. They want me to go away and when I do they try and do something nice for me so I'll stay, then when I come back they tell me how much they hate me. I can tell you this, after seeing Awakens in theatres twice, I got the exact same feeling when the "cantina scene part 2" came up, that this was a very inferior remake of A New Hope. I had my fingers crossed that they would spin it in some way to say that the force works in patterns or some shit and that would explain why we see the same stuff happen again.
Well fuck me for thinking maybe the creators wanted to put some depth in these films. All they're interested in is affirmitive action hires and not pissing off Tumblr.
So anyways, I'm done with this franchise until they clean house. No more Kathleen Kennedy, Rian Johnson or JJ Abrams. I won't add my money to the pile anymore. They've stated they're not making these films for people like me and I'm not one to stick around where I'm not wanted. I'll never watch TLJ or Solo and I damn sure won't go to see the train wreck that episode 9 will obviously be. When these Hollywood SJW types get upset and meet criticsm they just give everyone the finger and do more of what we don't want. So congrats y'all, you've got one less white dude to contend with.
james staggs great point about Disney Lucasfilm's "borderline personality disorder". I too never saw and never will see TLJ or Solo.
The future comes in and says: go watch Andor. It's 80% white people in Hugo Boss uniforms and it's glorious.
"...but for those of us who do have sex it's a weird, out of place cameo"
Lmao! I wish you posted vids more often
Will do.
I've just discovered your channel and have working my way through your vids. Everyone has legitimately made me laugh out loud several times. Very funny but also well made with excellent points. Subscribed and looking forward to your future vids.
=D
Love me some Voxis, the content might not be thick and fast but always, ALWAYS makes me laugh like a drain. Keep up the great work my man.
I can watch these again and again, they are absolutely packed with quality. I don't think I've laughed this much per minute since classic Simpsons.
"Nerds want to tongue punch Amelia's fart box." -This is so funny,...I am still laughing days after hearing it.
I would rather gargle with hot coals than watch another Kathleen Kennedy Star Wars film.
* repostishy *
I haven't watched any of them, the backlash is way more entertaining. Star Wars has been shit since the fucking 80s yet people still pay to see it for some ungodly reason.
milkinaction RotS is decent tho
John Norris I too would... huh... deja vu...
RotS was pretty terrible too I dunno why people started saying it was good all of a sudden
milkinaction Because of the second half I guess
Worse than bad: It’s mediocrity.
And I’m not sure the reason for the first two act - the stuff that actually effects the plot could be covered in half a line of dialogue.
Mike C Much like "Rogue One", eh? It should have been such an embarrassing moment for John Knoll in the producer's office.
"Did you *just now* start reading the opening crawls, John?"
Glad to see this back.
'Tongue punch her fart box' Now that, is poetry!
*A feminist robot was just what was missing. lol This movie is more for Guardians of the Galaxy than for Star Wars. What's going to be Disney's next leftist abomination? Black Blocks Stormtroopers? Sith Transsexual? Rebel Antifas? or a Darth Hitler?*
An all Nordic Blondo Calrissian
L3-37?
I prefer LG-BT
Brilliant!
You mean L6-87, don't you?
Video is saved and archived, in preparation for your inevitable banning by UA-cam's lousy copyright strike policies. Seriously, love your stuff.
God damn that Emilia Clarke eyebrows joke got me going. Your videos always make me laugh.
This is the best damn thing I have seen on UA-cam in ages! FANTASTIC!
At least Lando's pansexuality was not manifesting by a romance with Han or Chewie. Also, according to Neet there are two genders of robots as she screams: "set your brothers and sisters free" when starting cyber rebellion. Very cool.
Sannidor From the first moment I saw the word "pansexual" I completely ignored it and decided that means that it's someone who will only have sex with pans, or involving pans.
Now I picture Lando doing Chewbacca while violently licking a frying pan. Thank you.
The SJW's will be up in arms about the droid genderizing other droids.
Sannidor *V E R Y C O O L ! ! !*
Well, yes they have genders. We have seen many female droids before in Star Wars -- the female silver protocol droid in SWI, the female bar droid working for Dexter in SW2 , Clone Wars had female spa droids, and SW7 had a female droid too. The difference between organics and droids is, they are built on purpose with that shape and a female voice. They don't choose it. They likely identify as female because they got used to being in this shape.
Either that or they're programmed to act more female I'm guessing
This is hilarious, thanks to mumkey for the recommendation!
Another fantastic review! Wish we wouldn't have to wait so long between reviews. Such a thrill to get your notification. Hope you're healing well and on the road to recovery.
i thought this flick was "ok", more enjoyable than TFA and TLJ, tosspot. fair criticism, and hilarious as usual.
Thank You so much little Muppet Dude for all you do! One of the worst Christmas presents I ever got was a DNA test from Ancestry.com. 2 months later I found out I'm 10% British, and the rest is a bit hazy.... I've always had a "British" Dry wit, and love everything you do! So much more fun than going to the awful movies these days! Ok, off to see Deadpool too, or maybe just buy another big bag of pot; I'm from Colorado... MTFBWYA....
I hear everyone is at least 10% of the mosaic persuasion?
HAN "FLYING SOLO YOLO GOTTA GO" SOLO Utterly Amazing!!!
How is this not the most watched channel on UA-cam? It's brilliant!!!
Damn you got this out quick.
Thanks for making my Friday evening a little more enjoyable.
TBH, Emilia Clarke is not that good of an actress. She's good-looking, sure, but beside that there's nothing that great about her as an actress.
Solae V She's not even that good looking either, like barely a 5, maybe a 6 with the right makeup and everything.
She’s... aight as an actor and I have absolutely no interest in her looks (I’m a straight girl, what can I say?)
Mate Bruv, Oh, I did not mean to say she was not an alright actress. I simply meant to suggest she is nothing special in her field. (I am a straight girl too. I was simply making an observation - not that my gender or sexual orientation has anything to say to my opinion on Clarke). ^^
Israel Smith, Not being a man myself, I can only say that to me she seems to be good-looking enough, and the rest is up for debate.
She was in that prequel/reboot robot movie I think, but her love pillows where not inflatable as in the previous and thus superior version.
LOVE DISNEY... LOVE STARWARS... CONSUME IT ALL... What was i saying?! Wtf happened?!
Edward Topa Indoctrination.
GIVE FLESH
If you sprout mouse ears, see a doctor.
SACRIFICE!
10:40 _"But you've got to have those references because if the die-hard Star Wars fans aren't pulling this face, then you aren't doing your job right."_
People who think references are story-telling aren't fans of Star Wars. They're just consumers of it.
RE " Fuzzy Face Caterpillars" LMAO!!!!
You just earned a new subscriber, I bloody loved this review!
Mumkey jones sent me
The only thing I like from Solo is his jacket, at least he kept the swag
This channel is truly underrated
Greetings from *Mumkey Jones*
Thanks Mumkey Jones!
This channel and these videos are gold. I hope you continue making more reviews :)
BEST FILM REVIEWER EVER. Your reviews give me so much more pleasure than the films you review.
Damn dude, very early with this one. Great to see you in the sub box every time 😀
Thanks rabbi
Pissed myself off! The ending is great xD
Your video is one of the twenty-six videos I ever liked. But your ending made me laugh so hard I wish I could like it twice. Good day!
Like, subbed and donated. I'm sorry to hear about your health issues, and hope it won't stop you producing this excellent content.
I can't get enough of it. You sir, are an under-subbed insightful comedic gem - keep 'em coming!
Thank you. I'll keep making content then =)
Mumkey Jones sent me to binge watch your videos and subscribe, please don't let him whip me anymore.
Those red eyes and screeching was not edited in that was just actual footage of Kathleen Kennedy.
This was hilaaaaaarious! So glad I got to know your channel!
Hold on...he said.."just because nerds want to to tongue-punch Emilia's fart box...." I just died...OMFG
mumkey jones sent me here
"Tongue punch her fart box" 🤣
By the way, your reviews are hands down the best reviews anywhere. You are AWESOME!
"tongue punch Emilia's fart box" that has to be the funniest thing I've heard today.
MST3K reference snuck in there from Space Mutiny! You have my blessing.
Fuzzy Face Caterpillars. I learnt something today :)
It's even worse than I imagined. Darth Maul? Someone stop the bleeding!
Jason Ladue For real. It's kind of sort of cool in the cartoons because it's not supposed to be believable - it's a cartoon. The character just looks badass so it doesn't matter much for the cartoons. But it's completely tone deaf to the rest of the entire Solo movie, let alone the rest of the SW blockbuster films. That cartoon-y tone would fit in the Matrix or certain Marvel films, but it has no place in the Star Wars galaxy. They have some ridiculous cartoon-y crap in some of the old SW EU novels, and it used to be technically "canon", but they had the common sense not to put any of it in episodes 5, 6, or 1-3. It's a braindead decision to put Darth Maul in Solo.
Star Wars was dead to me when the Qui Gon came along and stupid George Lucas wrote himself a travesty. Everyone picks on Disney but don't see who sold It to them. Someday people will see that the whole problem was Lucas. Someday
I've been waiting for this. Best channel on the ol' Tube. Thank you for your efforts; will donate
i love how the star wars disco music plays in the background. it really is the little things that matter. well done professor!!
this was absolutely genius!
thank you very much!
The movie feels like 3~4 firefly episodea crammed together
that's insulting to firefly episodes.
At least firefly got thier movie now.
As count dooku would say: I've been looking forward to this
Yeah. They could easily have given him an arc by having him start out as somebody joining the imperial academy because he's still got some ideals - like maybe he's looking for a decent authority figure, order and stability, having grown up without a father - making junior officer rank and then being confronted with the Empire's true nature and deciding to jump ship to free a bunch of Wookiee slaves, who were being worked to death by Han's superior officer. So he becomes jaded at the world, says "fuck it!" to all authority, but still retains the core of his humanity because he did free the Wookiees and keeps Chewie with him, representing the fact that he doesn't really believe, deep down, that trust and personal integrity are impossible.
But what do I know, right!
*Soylo*
and
*Pando*
Hydrogen One How are they those things? They don't seem to be taking the backseat to the female characters
Mumkey Jones brought me here.
Just some edgy UA-camr.
By far, the best movie review I have ever watched!!
"Big McLarge Huge" OMFG! He just did an extremely obscure call back to one of my favorite episodes of one of my favorite TV shows of all the. The Space Mutiny episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. You have won my love and patronage Mr. Professor Whatever Your Name Is!
Edit: I'm a moron and mixed up Lazar Blast with Space Mutiny. I'm so sorry cruel world!
MST3K inspired this show.
@2 Corinthians 4:7-11 Bless you! It's a good thing too.