Smack Talk: Mulan Review (Utter Kung Poo)
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- Опубліковано 7 жов 2024
- Better late than never! Professor Tosspot takes a look at Disney's failed attempt to appease Chinese audiences by way of a crummy Mulan reimagining.
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If we can pretend this came out 6 weeks ago that would be great! Apologies for the delays but Voxis Productions has moved location and it's been hectic. Review was delayed due to that and the fact that in all the years of reviewing never has a film been such a slog to edit. It was painful to put this together. Awful movie. EDIT: Sorry about the ads I have no say in that. I'm not monetised so it's not me trying to get pennies out of you. UA-cam is plastering loads of ads in demonetised videos.
Anyway, hope you are all well and safe. I am very busy. Need to get two videos out before years end. Let's see how that pans out...
Also thanks to all the patrons and donators who have helped me out immensely. These are tough times financially so I understand that giving donations is hard, so thank you. Will be back soon with more content.
Voxis Productions No apology necessary, you magnificent prick. We’re just very glad to see you’re still around. 🍻
You know........A friend said this was so funny she wants your babies............don't know if that can work.........
GIVE ME MORE, Voxis
What are you talking about, this movie just came out today. How did you watch it and shit on it already?! ;)
Great job. Excellent as always.
Just in time *hits like button*
IT'S A GUUUNDAAAAAM!
It’s my Clown!😎
I need to ask. Is this guy Billies Dad?
PAPA G!!!!
Gundam tries to have any sort of fun-
Susan Worjski: “Peace was never an option!”
"Mary Wu" I almost choked on my fortune cookie!
Love your profile!
Homecoming warrior
Lucky you. I'd misfortune cookies
🤣🤣
This tosser never disappoints
Very disappointed in the lack of diversity on display during the Wei Dynasty, not like that in 18th century France. Get Emma Watson on the case immediately.
Ikr where are all the black and white people
This movie that takes place in ancient China is racist! Where are the strong gay BIPOC!!!!???
@@tiamystic in a bamboo closet.
Unlike moron Westerners, Asians haven't destroyed their societies for the sake of self-righteousness.
@@Matteus2109 yea they've destroyed them with ass hole dictators instead.
"All the drama disappears quicker than a Chinese dissenter"
I know it's too soon, but I couldn't help but laugh 😂
@Joe bloggs Comedy is tragedy plus time
@@OverlordGab Pokemon
Doctor Who
Star Trek
Pokemon Who
Artemis Trek.
Its all the same.
All the same 'Level'.
This tosser has never told a lie
“None of those catchy songs that homosexuals and drama students love to sing” I feel so attacked lmao
Yeah bi but not gay but I felt this too
You guys objectively suck in general and I'm right about that
@@xijinping3317 yeah, but what do they suck? Hmmmmmm
@@YBOT-BITTERs balls,
Not gay or drama student but know some Disney songs lol
Imagine a modern realistic adaptation movie make less sense then a 90' comedic cartoon
Imagine modern "For MuH eQuAlItY" movies being more less about equality than thousand-year-old poems...
14:12: Yeah, senseless woman showing off dumb, false feminism, just like
the Mulan Movie.
Yet still, i dont like this being in the video.
Can you stop bringing this up in videos?
Ar least the 90s cartoon didnt overpower Mulan
Imagine a modern realistic adaption having more magic than a 90's musical cartoon... I mean mushu was the only magical being and he couldn't even use it.
this movie has so much propaganda that should have been made during the red scare and then promptly banned in the US
The Blessed Pipeman returns!
Hey Indigo Gaming!
All hail the Blessed Pipeman!
Where's Part 2 !
.... OF THE RPG RANKING ?!!??
"Free Hon..." - INSTANT Demonitazation
@@VoxisProductions 14:12: Yeah, senseless woman showing off dumb, false feminism, just like
the Mulan Movie.
Yet still, i dont like this being in the video.
Can you stop bringing this up in videos?
Can you maybe even edit it out? Or
at lest dont do it again in future
videos?
One of the worst starwars movies I've ever seen, oh wait
They are fast approaching the Starwars singularity.
Reppin that Donald Duck!! Ha ha nice!
It all just blends together, doesn't it?
It fits the Star Wars universe better than the Disney trilogy.
Hahahahaha!!!
Killed by fabric..."It's...curtains....for you?" :P
honestly the pun makes it worth it but yunno ya gotta commit
This tosser spits hot fire. Way better than Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan and Dylan
Disney: **wanted a realistic live action adaptation of Mulan**
Also Disney: **includes chi, gravity defying stunts, a woman that can turn into a bird, and running up walls**
Logic has no place within a capitalist, boot licking corporation like Disney.
@@ColdHardTruthNews Another dunder-headed commie.
Has anybody read the historical Mulan like Pocohontas fate in real life after their "Disney walk on" it was horrific and depressing. Look it up for yourself.
If you think anyone criticising capitalism is automatically a communist then you're part of the problem
@@Haloman2458 socialism is socialism, regardless of what you call it. It's all trash and anti-freedom
The Great Firewall of China can be seen from Cyberspace, apparently...
Just a myth. Walls are bad.
That "rabbits side by side" line is a reference to the ending of the ballad, one of the, if not the most important lines of the ballad. They took something that important and turned it into a throwaway line
Yeah and ruins the meaning of it.
I honestly believe Disney did that on purpose to establish dominance over the original. Like a dog peeing on another dog's turf.
@@S71xx or luke throwing his lightsaber
And they missed the whole point. They had Movie!Mulan doing something that Ballad!Mulan literally said was not possible.
@@easolinas1233 Movie!Mulan is just THAT good. The Chi is female. Deal with it.
"Mile-Long Nanking Massacre Stare."
You, sir, are a historian and a poet.
I dunno, it was kinda feels bad.
Tosspot is old enough to remember the massacre, some reports suggest he took part in it
Honestly, this does not get
enough Criticism still.
If you think about it, Sexism actually won here,
as it's made clear that Mulan is the exception and
no other woman/girl could ever hope of reproducing her
feats/wins.
Get what i mean?
The opressive system was right, they just
didnt knew about the ONE exception. So what?
Opressive System hurray??
@@tooth656 and thats why is funny you pussy
Dude, the Dad is literally the Chinese President i swear.
looks bit like him lol
@@nos8141 a bit? Lol, it’s either his twin or a clone!
@@HNedel it's one of his clones,incase he gets assassinated he'll get replaced with a clone
@@redhood7650 yeah, guess they have a bunch of them running around and are finding ways to use them productively
Nobody's said it yet? Alrighty then. *ahem* OH YEAH ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY ALL ASIANS LOOK ALIKE REEEEE /s
Old Mulan: *I'll make a man out of you*
Live action Mulan: *The Last Jedibender*
At least the Star Wars sequels had characters with more than one expression. Also kid Mulan was far more overpowered than Rey ever was.
@@zacharygilmore1075 Nah, Rey is more overpowered at points, its just Mulan is OP from the very start, while Rey is at least briefly not OP at the start of the first movie
A massive corporation colluding with a totalitarian regime I am shocked, now excuse me while I finish my Fanta Orange.
Hahahaha 🤣
Don't mind me, i'm just using my International Business Machine.
Sir have you no Morales!
(Take sip of coca cola)
IKR. *Drives off in Merc*
Patrolling the modern society is enough for one to wish for Human Instrumentality.
If there’s one thing impressive about this remake, it gives Rey competition on being the Ultimate Mary Sue.
I still think Rey pulled ahead.
If you need an ultimate Mary Sue, look no further than the new Star Trek - STD.
@@Cyricist001 . . . Sexually Transmitted Disease?
@@jkknight9209 You made me choke on my tea.😂
Captain Marvel: "Is that a personal attack or something?"
"Homosexuals and drama students" They are the same thing
hey
some homosexuals aren't drama students
on account of having already graduated
@@trumpwonhereistheevidenced4390 ah yes, good point
I did not like drama students, so I just screwed jocks. If I was drunk, maybe a Goth or two.
Lmfao. Nice one ;)
Considering how much clunge that actors get, I doubt they are totally the same thing...
The actress is so blank and emotionless, that you could replace her with a mannequin and you couldn't tell the difference.
The thing about Asians is if we want to show emotion we need to stretch our faces HARD LOL.
@@minatyayah8768 really makes me appreciate Jackie Chan’s acting all the more.
They did...
@@saltykenny5370 oh snap!!
@@Bluetanmancan And Anthony Wong whenever he plays a psychopathic killer.
If I had a dollar for each Korra fan that tried to defend the scene at 4:18, I wouldn't be living with my parents anymore.
If Movie Blob likes it, stay as far away from it as humanly possible.
Of course diabeto likes it.
True
He probably spent the entire time fantasizing about the young looking mc lol
He's on sex offender registry.
@@sagacity1071 I call him Chairman Mayo, since he is a ball of fat and also defends genocide like Chairman Mao.
What do we want? A FILM WORTH FIGHTING FOR!
Wish that I had.. A FILM WORTH FIGHTING FOR!
*The music cuts abruptly as we come upon the grim sight of Mulan 2020*
A film worth *paying* for 😄
This should be titled "Mulan: Evolution".
Or "Mulan 2: Tannny Boogaloo"
Mulan Wars: The Qi Awakens
Honestly, this does not get
enough Criticism still.
If you think about it, Sexism actually won here,
as it's made clear that Mulan is the exception and
no other woman/girl could ever hope of reproducing her
feats/wins.
Get what i mean?
The opressive system was right, they just
didnt knew about the ONE exception. So what?
Opressive System hurray??
Kung Flu Pandering
@Simbola Yeah.
Well, it's so badly written i genuinly cant tell for sure what the Big Villain thought of the woman and how they cared for each other, but yeah, i get what you mean.
Actually, Mongolians had, to different times, the most and the least progressive relation to woman.
No kidding, in all of ancient times, they had the most Respect for Woman AND the least respect for Woman. They changed from one extreme to another.
One of the weirdest history-facts ever, if you ask me. But whatever.
You've hit nearly all of the forbidden topics for the PRC. The Three Ts: Tiananmen, Tibet, and Taiwan. But you've mentioned things I didn't even know about, so kudos.
I didn’t like how “evil” they made the emperor seem they really made him a bad leader and very different from the animated one. In the original he cares about the people and was calm and collected and very different.
He was a character with integrity. Of course he had to go.
"No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it."
@@thedragon133 or the fact that a mongol warlord had a blade to his throat and his only care was the pride of his nation not his wellbeing
Yeah, so calm he didn't gave a reason about Shan Yu almost slicing his head off
"Eviscerating a guy with monster claws was just a socially awkward moment."
If I laugh any harder someone might have to come check up on me, medically.
14:12: Yeah, senseless woman showing off dumb, false feminism, just like
the Mulan Movie.
Yet still, i dont like this being in the video.
Can you stop bringing this up in videos?
@Adrijana Radosevic Ok, but i hiiiiiighly doubt this was intentional here, ya know.
“Mary Woo!”
Outstanding as usual, Hobblepot.
Mary Wu
@@alexs_toy_barn Yeah, I realized after I had posted it and was to lazy to edit, but yes this ^.
Honestly, this does not get
enough Criticism still.
If you think about it, Sexism actually won here,
as it's made clear that Mulan is the exception and
no other woman/girl could ever hope of reproducing her
feats/wins.
Get what i mean?
The opressive system was right, they just
didnt knew about the ONE exception. So what?
Opressive System hurray??
@@slevinchannel7589 I hear and feel what you’re saying and my response is: At least it’s keeping with the times?
@@eddymonies8302 I dont quite know what 'keeping with the times' means.
Do you mean that many Franchises are currently burning alive?
Like POkemon and Star Trek and Doctor Who?
I've been thinking of making a best Tosspot jokes compilation, but there's so much on his channel, I'll have my channel removed for essentially pirating his videos.
Bless you x
@@VoxisProductions Thanks, Toss, you good old chap!
If I do make a video on this, I'll have to pick sparingly, and I'll let you know once I have finished editing and posted the best jokes of yours I can find.
Honestly, this does not get
enough Criticism still.
If you think about it, Sexism actually won here,
as it's made clear that Mulan is the exception and
no other woman/girl could ever hope of reproducing her
feats/wins.
Get what i mean?
The opressive system was right, they just
didnt knew about the ONE exception. So what?
Opressive System hurray??
@@slevinchannel7589 You should make a movie out of your criticisms for Mulan 2020.
Do it anyway Mark!
"these huns are larping as Isis" lmao
Professor, the way you scared off these chinese shills was ingenious and inspiring.
Donnie Yen: I am the force the force is with me...
Mulan: I'm the force now
The one line that turned all the "darkness" and "grit" in Rogue One into cheese.
Rey: I am all the Jedi!
Mulan: I haffa da forcey. Me forcey vely vely powahfoh
This movie had a 200 million dollar budget.
Meanwhile, the stage play of Inuyasha has more creativity and imagination.
And integrity don't forget integrity.
There's a stage play of Inuyasha??
@@angelramirez936 yes.
Budget does not help imagination and creativity, quite the contrary.
I smell weaboo
That anti-China skit made me laugh so hard
It bring great honor to his famary.
I yelled out "Uyghur Genocide!" during that bit.
@@worsel555 Organ Harvesting!
It's so surreal how the world is allowing yet another stalinesque regime to rise.
@@worsel555 Don't forget their support of the Cambodian Genocide (the U.S. had a role too), Genocide in Darfur, and the Rohingya Genocide.
Man, you are so freaking funny. I feel like your brand of comedy is sort of under siege nowadays but you crack me up! Keep up the good work
I appreciate that!
@@VoxisProductions Buddy,
oh buddy.
That one Lesbian-Kissing-Picture
was pretty displaced.
C'mon.
@@loturzelrestaurant No one cares.
@@Kono_Dio-Da I love when many people tell me they care and the the odd-one-out likes to give his Ketchup to the sauce and say 'No one cares, broooo!'
Always funny.
I literally see that all the time, even if you dont count the Religious People saying randomly under Science-Channel 'No one caresssss!!! Find Jesus!!! OR DIIEEEE!'
The musical choice really does it for me
Saw this movie with a friend om mine who is a die-hard Disney fan, whos armour is starting to crack. And we both agreed the original was far better. This review is a perfect representation of what I felt, just with superior comedy. Keep rocking on, good sir!
I downloaded the video. If the channel goes down for wrong think then ill re-upload it to the public. only if the ccp send a hitman.
How is no one talking about “Mongol Jason Momoa?”
I was going to say “Big Daddy Xi”-but that’s what CCP propaganda songs _actually call_ Xi Jinping.
It’s funny, because the character you call “Mongol Jason Momoa”, the actor’s name is also called Jason.
Mongoloids
The whiteface joke made me spit my drink.
The biggest disappointment was Mc Donalds not exploiting this film as an opportunity to milk Rick and Morty fans by releasing Szechuan Sauce
Pokemon
Doctor Who
Star Trek
Pokemon Who
Artemis Trek.
Its all the same.
All the same 'Level'.
I haven't even seen this review yet and I just know it's better than the actual movie.
And that's a fact.
I saw a two day old dog turd basking in the midday sun and I just knew it was better than this movie.
One of the few good things in 2020 that has happened to me is that I have not seen this movie.
That wasn't hard to guess.
Still, one of the most underrated channels out there! All hail the Blessed Pipeman!!!
Of all the reviews of this movie that I've seen you are the first one to point out Mulan's mom is Keiko O'Brien. You've made this Trekkie's heart happy.
Baahaha, I found an honest, realistic, uncensored AND funny review. Fucking gold!!!
"Homosexuals and students..." I'm neither but i love those songs, lmao. 😅
It was so impactful in the animation when they are singing but suddenly are silenced by the sight of the burned down village.
I felt nothing even close to that in the live action cardboard imitation.
2:44 Of COURSE MovieBob liked it.
lol
Im relatively new to this channel, but man do I love it!!! Your jokes are so dark and hilarious that I rewatch them often to get a good laugh!!! Keep up the amazing work, Vox!!!
Thanks and welcome newcomer.
This tosser is a natural depression cure
The Rise of Skywalker stroke part KILLED ME 🤣🤣
At least somebody still remembers Tibet needs help.
YESSSSSS! I've been waiting for what felt like centuries.
(Edit) The Professor did not disappoint.
🥰🤩 Yay, it’s finally here. Trash this movie.
Hope you’ve been great health and other wise.
**Your Social Credit Score has decreased**
Brilliant as always. Poor Jet Lee and Donny Yen I loved their movies and it’s hard to see another aging childhood legends this old.
The quick cut word salad followed by the error message was exceptional editing.
Me, a Star Trek fan: Well, now I know this movie is clearly a lost, bad episode of DS9 about a torture device disguised as a "fun" holodeck adventure set in mythical ancient China, designed by the Cardassians to get information from Keiko. Thank you, Professor. This movie now makes sense.
"Mary Wu"
Mary wu flu.
@@S71xx racist
2:15 It's amazing how dirty that looks out of context.
Now the real question is spit or swallow.
@@S71xx Swallow! Swallow! Swallow!
@@rafalrafal8025 My thoughts exactly.
@@S71xx swallow
@@rafalrafal8025 "C'mon, swallow girl!"
Bit late for Flu-lan.
OR
Mouse of Lying Buggers....
The first minute is the most satisfying, in your face china, anti-shill montage. Thank you professor!!
Pro-PROC/CPC shills are miniscule compared to Anti-PROC/CPC shills.
Pokemon
Doctor Who
Star Trek
Pokemon Who
Artemis Trek.
Its all the same.
All the same 'Level'.
Yes! The Professor returns!!
In all honesty, you really do remind me of an old man I lost a day ago, sarcastic, mean old bastard. ❤️
"sarcastic, mean old bastard"
They're the best coworkers and mentors you can have, seriously!
Everybody else feeds you a line of bull but those "mean guys" are straight shooters!
"This adaptation is not Based"
-Voxis Productions
Star Trek fan here. Appreciated the O'Brien reference.
Ever since the Professor mentioned watching Star Trek Picard at the closing of one of his older videos, I've been dying to see his review of the show.
@@pepperedash4424 Picard or even STD is long enough to give him a stroke.
@@Cyricist001 Yeah, I remember him shouting "it's terrible" off screen at the end. Still want to see his take on it.
Im deeply sorry for your fandom from a star wars fan
@@solidgamer1998 we may have been sworn enemies at one point, but now we share a suffering.
Remember how Disney removed Li Shang to support the #Me too shit? Yeah, meanwhile, Beauty and the Beast remake remained the same despite the fact that Beast IMPRISONS BELLE, then they fall in love while Mulan and Shang fell in mutual love.
To be fair, at least one aspect of this adaptation is partially faithful to the original myth, or at least the version I heard.
In the myth, Mulan didn't have to train herself much in the military, because her father trained her to fight from childhood.
However, there was no special Chi magic, no phoenix, no shape shifting witch, and ultimately, no feminist message to speak of.
Seriously, the overarching message was, "If a woman can be a good soldier, then men have no excuse".
Enjoy your feminist icon, everybody!
Mary Wu!!
Every time I think to myself "there hasn't been a smack talk for a while" there's a new one up. Never too late, never too soon, always absolute quality!
A professor is never late nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
Please think that more often, chhers
Quite possibly the worst example of bowing down to the ccp I've ever seen.
Havent you seen the Karate Kid, god that movie was awful
Its was also a pretty pathetic because the People of china hate it (that makes sense i mean they did butcher the ballad fa mulan)
@@Vihara2 Yes. With Will Smiths boring son.
And the BIGGEST failure at it!
And they STILL hated it!
23:00 is by far the cutest shit the prof has ever done...i hurt myself laughing at his weak littl ''shoo!!''...''stay there''...''bugger off''...just friggin adorable
"There were times when I was thinking, I've already seen this fucking movie" LMFAO That had me dying.
Voxis can I just say I love how you put a Chello / Violin version of Poker Face in the background during the whole "Mulan trying to blend in as a man" bit, it really tied the scene together.
Ah you noticed ;)
Thanks
I KNEW
But couldn't quite get it...
That was Alejandro
Wow, what a coincidence that it came on the second I read your comment. Exactly at the 10 minute mark.
The Tosspot returns back to form. Cheers, mate. Good use of Deus Ex's Hong Kong soundtrack.
Great to see that one alright.
I can't decide if he is trolling us every video or he is a huge Lady Gaga fan, but I can't help but enjoy it.
Was that Alejandro or was that “Don’t Turn Around” by Ace of Base? I can’t tell
@@illusioNery Alejandro for certain. Also Bad Romance. My wife is a huge fan so I've heard them more than enough to know.
He just went to drama school.
That violin/cello Pokerface cover was kinda lit
You are such a hidden gem in UA-cam, you deserve so much more subs. Keep up the awesome content and I’m positive you’ll get there ❤️
Disney: The House Of Mao
"We're glad to have you back, Professor."
- Everyone :)
"Get my chi out for the lads". That made me crack up.
Yaaay you’re back! Your videos remind me of Charlie Brooker before he started getting off to his own farts.
He inspired Smack Talk and I do lament that he became a fart huffer.
What's wrong with Charlie Brooker recently?
@@imcallingjapan2178 Netflix
Of all the Mulan reviews I've watched, I daresay this is the funniest!
Mary Wu. God damn that was genius.
Mulan the story of how a guy falls in love with another guy that turns out to be a woman.
Surely at the end of the film he should be turning down mulan not the other way around. "sorry I only joined the army for the naked showers with other dudes" that way they couldve shoved some lgbt politics in there too to go with the feminism. Such a shame
Another Zack Brannigan in the making...
So, JFK from Clone High, but with worse writing?
"But it's Disney so no tatty bojangles for you."
Dragonslayer says hi.
When I saw Mulon’s father, immediately thought of the president of China.
Would make for an interesting biopic of Jinping's life, especially regarding Covid-19.
Oh god, no!
And thanks to the "do we all look the same to you" stereotype, no mainstream media could ever openly talk about the fact that he looks EXACTLY like him. China is untouchable lads.
Is he a president though? I think a saw a video somewhere saying he asked people not to call him that. Probably so people don’t realize they should have a say in their governments.
@@omma911 Even if they could they wouldn’t. I remember the BBC’s joyful declaration a few years back that PRC is now a superpower.
I've watched a lot of Critics roasting this movie but this channel takes the cake
I wish that I could up vote this into infinity. Masterclass is an understatement.
I'd happily pay to watch Professor Tosspot talk about his last bowel movement for 2 hours than commit to watching this painful movie.
AKA "the kung flu"
Everyboy was a kung flu fighting
Those coughs were fast as lightning
My fave nickname for corona for sure
The professor strikes! Love it how nearly all my favourite youtubers watch this channel too. Great to see your subs approaching 100k , well done mate. 👍
This man is on fire! This old man puppet I mean. So many rapid fire hits, you'd better not be drinking milk while watching this or you'll have spray painted your surroundings in milk once you're done.
milk? Or do you mean White Russians at least?
Call him the Crypt Keeper from "Tales from the Crypt", he likes it.
"Santient plank of wood" 🤣🤣🤣
Don't ever stop brother
OOF, I'm saving this gem to watch as I sip my scalding hot tea tomorrow morning.
Lol... I got my cup of tea right in front of me.
The chosen one! He has returned. Suddenly 2020 is not so bad! ... missed you bud
*2020 Year Of The Rat*
Me: HAHAHA
My God. Your sense of humor is absolutely legendary.😂🤣
Nothing makes me even chuckle, but you can~ You actually make me laugh, and that is something that is rare, dude; so rare. So, I thank you. Blessings be upon you.
Is it funny that using Deus Ex's Hong Kong music in the background makes me realize that a game about government tyranny through future technology didn't go as far as real life Hong Kong is dealing with? Or just depressing?
Take dem blackpilzz
Pokemon
Doctor Who
Star Trek
Pokemon Who
Artemis Trek.
Its all the same.
All the same 'Level'.
Is MovieBob, the DSP of movies? I keep hearing his name and it’s never any good.
Basically... yeah.
AKA MovieBlob and Dr Diabeto.
Sort of. On the surface, yeah; MovieBob is the film version of DSP.
At the same time, while DSP has old videos with racist accents and jokes; Diabeto is 100x more delusional than Fill and he thinks that the Nazis gave eugenics a bad name so...
Plus TIHYDPs are incredibly entertaining; the same can't be said of CinemaRobert's horrendous stuck-in-2008 content.
The man! The legend! Oh I was hoping for you to make a commentary on this one!
Mate you're new to me ,but I laughed my f****** guts out, you are a legend sir , you now have a new sub 👍🏾
Thanks and welcome to Smack Talk.
City Wok owner:
"Damn you Mongorians!!!"
I missed your videos. Thank you for coming back!
You are so welcome!