1. Saying I love you really quickly 2. Wanting to dominate your time and attention (this is an excellent clue) 3 Wanting to be in touch all the time, almost checking up on you 24*7 4. Speeding up the timeline of commitment 5. Helping and assisting excessively even to the point of infantilising you 6. Devaluation - suddenly you feel icky about sharing your past traumas and vulnerabilities for eg. your dating history 7. Leaving when you’re at your most vulnerable and while doing it, saying something deeply personal or hurtful and totally beside the point (one of your soft wounds they’ve remembered). 8. Telling everybody about you before you’re ready and then reporting indirectly if one of their circle doesn’t approve. Just keeping you under pressure (one of the comments above asked if this was a sign and I firmly believe it is.) The above is all true; it all happened to me, and this video is spot on. Yet I cling to the fantasy of it. I have some work yet to do. Thanks though ❤
I was heavily love bombed recently. And knew it. He literally had a tick list of compliments that he would reel off. Said within a week he was "falling in love". Wanted to be with me all the time. And wanted to define us as in a relationship by the second date. Picked it all up very quickly and told him what he was doing and that I want to go slow...and then he didnt know what to do next! He wasnt able to go slow and steady and resorted to sending me photos of the pints of beer he was drinking rather than engaging in conversation. This was in the space of 2 weeks and it is now over (I ended it as it was clear we weren't right for each other). Looking back, I can see other manipulative tactics that I didnt pick up on straight away (mirroring my likes and dislikes for example). But overall I am glad I could see what was going on. Another thing that I don't see talked about, but wonder if is also part of love bombing. As I've seen it before as well. But I've noticed that love bombers also tell everyone about you, to the extent that it feels almost like you are pressured to stay with them? I don't know if that is a love bombing thing or not though!
I'm so glad you were able to notice things that were off and listen to your gut! Hmm, the telling others about you -- I'm not sure if it's a love bombing thing in this case. If not love bombing, definitely some other form of being unwell, immature, or manipulative in relationships.
Girl same!! He literally told everyone about me within a couple days of us talking and wanted us to be bf/gf within a week. Maybe it is a love bombing tactic ?
This just made me realise that although my boyfriend and I may be progressing a little faster than the average couple, it does not seem to be love bombing. I have once experienced love bombing and that felt a whole lot different.
Yes! When things progress a little fast, it's good to reflect and question, just in case. Love bombing is only when it's part of a greater cycle of abuse. I'm so glad you can tell the difference!
I have love bombed consistently over my life and I am realising it just now. I am wondering if there are any ways I can break the cycle and have better more genuine relationship with people. Or am I doomed to be the same person right until I reach my grave. I feel very bad about the hurt that I have done.
I have ADHD, and I realized that I do this too, and have been doing it naturally as well. For me, I’m being intentional about pacing myself, not giving a bunch of compliments, and restricting the amount of time I can spend.
Remorse + self awareness + commitment towards change + the right support = a damn good chance to be the person you want to be!! I wish you well on your journey forward!
It's also important to keep in mind that *true love* takes time and you will know this person is the one when you both been through some challenges together and risen up feeling more connected and becoming a team more than ever :) Struggles should make you feel stronger not weaker bcus you're afraid of being punished from your partner. Many people romanticized "love at first sight" so it's easy to hold on to the love bombing 🥲 We just need to remind ourselves to be gentle with our relationship and takes as long time as we need 💗
More often than not, relationships go downhill very easily when sex and romance comes into the picture too soon. In the past, I craved men being obsessed/taken up with me but now, I can say that nothing can be worse than that. Once the love bombing stage is over, you’ll be in for a lot of roller coaster rides. How can people be so into us in such a short space of time? No wonder so many relationships are disintegrating so rapidly!
This is something I went through recently and I'm so glad that I broke away before I was in too deep. The guy was moving this direction within two weeks and I saw all of the red flags, I knew something was off. Glad I listened to my first instinct. Great video that didn't take over half an hour to make a valid point.
Thank you! Just ran into the exact same situation Feel better after watching your video I feel a sense of obligation and responsibility when someone wants my attention and has me on the pedestal. I don’t want to disappoint them. Did not realize this sets me up for cycles of abuse 😮 No más!
Absolutely. Someone obsessing over you is a bad thing. Believe that. Trust that. Run from it. Look for unflashy (that does not mean neglectful) consistent care, not flashy obsession.
I was in an abusive relationship several years ago, but exactly because of TV and people's simplified stories, ive gone on thinking the beginning (love bombing) is what a relationship is supposed to be like. Only recently realized a slow burn is more normal and while it feels nice, theres no good reason for someone to be obsessed with you 3 weeks in. 😮💨 Still have some work to do but this was very helpful.
This video is the best, concise advice on how to tell the difference between love bombing and genuine love. I'm listening to it on repeat until it's drilled into my mind!
I've never seen someone put so much effort into helping their community by responding to so many comments...so I'm commenting for your algorithm as it's the best way I can show appreciation
Thank you I needed this right now . I ended a relationship with a love bomber , I knew he was a love bomber but I convinced myself he was just suffering from past trauma , he would always blame things on me , devalue me , esp in front of friends . We would go out with friends and he would just disappear on me 😢 but every time it was me apparently . I said no more today . It’s hard when you love someone but I could not take any more passive aggressive crap , I am sad but I also feel slightly liberated to for saying no and having respect for me ❤️✌️🍍
Tips from Dr Vacnin 1: if it feels to good to be true, it is too good to be true 2: too much effort is fake 3: too good to be true, is too good to be true 4: verify By the way, you have a refreshing sense of humor... And that is not a bomb
I never knew love bomb existed . Until this girl told me about it , after I expressed my feelings .. that I held back for over a year. I was just being expressive and was proud of myself but I am not no love bomber….makes me watch my actions. Thank you great video…. But now I know why there is so many damn games … when it comes to love uggggg
The world needs more people willing to express themselves! Being expressive is definitely not the same as love bombing. It's only love bombing if it's part of a greater cycle of abuse. Otherwise, it could just be someone whose really stoked on a new person, or doesn't have a lot of experience with dating. I wish you well on your journey forward!
So grateful for your video Tya. I appreciate the validation of my recent experiences with new people and the confirmation that I’m on the right track. Thank you!! 🙏🏽 🎉🧡
i’m sad bc i met a guy a few days ago lmao and he’s very veryyyy interested and i can tell im being love bombed. i’ve been trying to establish some boundaries and honestly call him out 😭 i should just walk away but im so attracted to him. i hate being me sometimes lol
@Mayabishop15 have you tried dating uglier guys? 😂 Just kidding!! It's a tough spot to be in. Think of it like their attractiveness is a weapon against you, not a gift.
Holy crap 😊I just went through this with my ex partner. It’s definitely didn’t last long. I wish I would have known about love bombing people before. Thank you for this video.
This a topic I talk about with my granddaughters! They are 7 and 8 so I have some time. No relationship is everything to anyone. And the fable of the snake that wants to have me pick it up to keep it warm. Then it bites and tells me I knew it was a snake.
You’re so different from all the other therapists here. I enjoyed watching. Didn’t get bored. This was so interesting and so informative. Definitely subscribing ❤
I knew it. He tried to manipulate me by love bombing me 😂 good news I am an avoidant so his actions disgusted me instead and I told him I hate liars. He wanted me to meet him, call him, and text him 24/7. He tried to mirror me. He said he loved me one week after knowing me😂 (I knew he was lying) I told him that’s not love, love needs time. I openly told him that I can’t date someone I don’t t even know well.” I know enough” was his response. He talked about himself all the time and tried his best to impress me but that just pushed me away. I was not even interested. I ended up blocking him. Pathetic!
@@tipsfromatherapist thank you so much💕.I really wanna thank you for this video because at first i thought I did the wrong thing by being cold blocking him and worried if I hurt his feelings but now I can see it clearly! He was a pathetic loser.
Good question! An "avoidant" is someone who struggles forming healthy attachments with others. Emotional intimacy is uncomfortable for them, and they prioritize independence over interdependence.
This happened to my best friend. She met an older (14 years) man that had lost his wife just three months earlier, he went after her full force. All of her friends warned her, but she didn't listen. They were married within a year. She has lost most of her friends, including myself recently because of his narcissistic behavior, and I was the only one willing to give him a chance. My tip would be if you know something about a person make sure you speak your mind because you will likely lose your friend anyway.
I feel so much shame for falling for my ex's love bombing. About a 2 months in the problems started to surface. She was treated badly at work, her mum gave her a hard time, her dad would rarely see her or contact her, she had no friends, she was seemingly always unwell... And then she started to focus on me. Despite treating her like gold and being so patient, she belitted me, insulted me, was jealous of me, didn't care for my achievements, expected me to pay for everything, lured me on an expensive trip (which was awful for 90% of it), had the cheek to call me "stingey", had so many unprovoked ups and downs and then came the brutal discard. I'm glad it was just a 7-month relationship. I ignored so many "red flags" because of how the love bombing made me feel and because I was so atrracted to her. Ultimately, she caused me a great deal of stress. My mental, emotional and physical health declined and I was often so miserable. And yet, somehow, I miss her two months after the discard. Why do I miss someone who was so abusive? It's so messed up.
@MikeJackson690 Love bombers hijack our deepest need for love and attachment. They don't have a typical person's mindset, so it doesn't occur to us that this is actually a cycle of abuse. We're told, "all relationships are hard", so we don't expect perfection, and most people don't have a single good example of a healthy relationship. The very aspects of you that were exploited, are the same aspects that can make you a great partner to the right person. I wish you well on your journey forward
Thanks for offering a lot of good advice in a very short time frame . I also like your light tone and fun approach to a very serious topic of picking a person. I found myself gravitating towards this topic because of wanting to be able to discern the difference between being the recipient and instigator of love bombing. I also currently find myself attracted to an individual where there’s a huge age gap and I am trying to assess if my motives are for my own gratification or if l genuinely understand what l am feeling and if l know how to express it in a healthy constructive, respectful unconditional manner.
@@tipsfromatherapist 🛡️ Is there a way to shield yourself, or defend against this? …. On a related note, how can a person stop the flood of, or neutralize endorphins (oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine)? 💔😢
I accidently caused a lovebomber to slip up once and drop a flag during a conversation where I impromptu asked her to actually do me a small favour (pick up something which I was willing to pay for up front) "Uh... yeah sure, here's... how you can do that yourself... now back to the love bombs you dumb guy" (a paraphrase of course). I'll remember that one for the next time. As for the second question, I'm no expert, but based on personal experience: if you're male forget it; you'll have a 16-year-old small head into your 80's unless you take medication to sedate yourself. As men get older (and richer), they become more of a target for lovebombers while their self-esteem simultaneously drops. Your best defense is gaining knowledge along the way and using it@@mike.pittsburgh3466
Good question! The best defense is awareness of the love bombing cycle of abuse, then creating and maintaining boundaries to limit that person's access to you. Neutralizing endorphins would be disrupting the body's natural functions that are needed to be healthy. We don't want a "hack" to stop this. There will always be liars and manipulators in the world, and others can put on a good performance in the beginning. Going slow, not attaching too soon, and watching carefully is the way!
Very informative about explain genuine love in general tanks much. Those behaviors and patterns are truth yellow flags. You got to be strong and ready to identify and let go with an wisdom 👍
Thank you. I needed to hear this...watched3x's. Currently getting hoovered. Love bombs dropping. Drama already happening, for not living up to her expectations... Not going to take the bait this time.
Thank you for this!!! I think inconsistency is also a big red flag but this applies to whether you guys are in the same orbit most or all of the time. 😩 (e.g. this guy loved bombed and would be bold on some days but then pretend i wasn’t there on others and this was such a big red flag because we’re literally in each others orbit all of the time so it got so extremely confusing, but you’re not at fault and someone’s love bombing isn’t a reflection of you but of themselves!!
Thanks, I am very high and in my own head right now; I wanted to make sure I wasn't being emotionally abusive and that what I feel and have been feeling is genuine. Literally had me second guessing my own feelings and how I talk and react and feel things. I really needed to hear a more in-depth difference between "love bombing" and "love". Especially at the part where the partner uses the personal deep talk, past pains, traumas and fears against the other? That's crazy, couldn't imagine hurting somebody, especially when you care about them. Nor do I create a fake image of myself, I'm upfront about who and what I am and that I am certainly far from perfect. And because we've only interested in each other for maybe a few months if even, I admit I was the one who started saying "I love you" and it seems to be reciprocated. But like I started that, I tell all my friends that I love them. So I really don't know. If feelings are genuine, I've felt them from the beginning, like actual feelings, I'll truly know.
@kenny.m.olsen95 Yes, sometimes we can know it's love somewhat early on, and other times we get swept up in the excitement of someone and move too fast. It's good that you err on the side of caution and want to make sure you aren't love bombing someone! To clarify, it's only love bombing if the other phases of abuse I mentioned in the video are present as well.
This is exactly what I’m experiencing. I recently started dating again and I’m having trouble discerning whether this guy is love bombing me or whether I’m the problem and self sabotaging what could be a good relationship. He’s coming on sooooo strong and we haven’t even gone on our first date yet. He text me long, deep messages about his thoughts and to me, it feels overwhelming to hold space for someone I hardly know. I then second guess if this is just me feeling uncomfortable because I’ve never been in a healthy relationship where someone has shown this much interest so quickly. Help 😢
Same! I guess u must meet and if all goes well , pace yourself, as the video said. Do not doubt yourself, never, trust your gut and try to take control and don’t let this guy think he’s got you. Don’t fall for an easy bait, but enjoy getting what you deserve until it’s healthy.
@Ness-nq2mo Based on your description, it doesn't sound healthy. Believe your body when it tells you it's overwhelming to hold space for someone you hardly know. Too much interest too quickly is always a bad sign; whether it's love bombing or another unhealthy behavior.
Great job and thank you! This topic is essential in today's confused dating world where terms like "love bombing" are thrown around so recklessly that even appropriate affection is mistaken for hostile and toxic red flags. Seeking a balanced approach based on measured caution helps to protect both against legitimate narcissists and against throwing in the towel over harmless initial tokens of appreciation.
A few months ago I finally left abusive relationship. Now when Im happy, alone and with myself, when my mind is clear - I met someone, who is exactly like my ex.... love bombs me, loves me only after a month of knowing me, talks about marriage and kids nope nope nope - thank you, bye bye ! Im not going back to the same cycle, just with another man.
I've only just found your channel and this is the first video I watched, which is brilliant! In fact, it's one of the best I've seen on the subject, so definitely subscribed. I'll be watching all the other ones as well. I want to add that I laughed about your sarcasm in regard to the lovebombing because I received over the top text messages from the last conman I got caught up with, after 17 years of being single. It turned out that he was only after s*x, then money and it graduated to somewhere to stay for a few months, until I put a complete stop to the cycle. He moved from place to place and back again, so liked to have a girl in every port, as the old saying goes! I'm also going to share your videos with other people who will benefit, especially since you didn't mention the N word. I've found that it can be too much for some people, which is totally understandable. 😊
I still question if my ex loved me. If any of my exes loved me lol. But the more recent ex, was very affectionate very soon, until he asked me to change my entire self for him. It does feel like being hoodwinked. Turns out, he had a type, women with limited experience with dating men.
Hi, could you please make a video, about the difference between lovebombing and overexcitedness, I Have Adhd, Sometimes i feel like people see my overexcitedness as Red. i genuinely love to get know people and learn from them, i just feel like we are not here as long as we wanted to be, sometimes it make me feel sad because, it kinda everyone is a narcissist on the internet, red flags and all that. sometimes it makes me feel not try anymore, i hope there'll be an explanation or distinction between the 2. or am i really a narcissist i dont know. hope you'll read this. Thank you! ((:
Thank you, this made things very clear. I have been soooo lovebombed very recently. I had no clue, never heard of it. I am an avoidant and I have been working so hard on my self the last 5 years because I really want to connect and have a deep fullfilling realtionship. I really thought I met 'the' guy and I was picking the fruits of my hard work. I fell in love so hard! Then his behaviour switched and I started to figure out the real story. I am still in the realtionship, I didn;t feel the strenght to step out. Eventhough I am sure now I have to. I have two questions: is an avoidant and a narcissist atracting each other? And is it possible the lovebomber is really in love but doesn't know how to act healthy or is there never real love involved? Thank you!
@gorebel3860 Great questions! There's no hard and fast rule for avoidants and narcissists attracting each other, though it can happen. However, love bombers don't have the same definition or capacity for love as non-narcissists. I'm glad you are noticing signs, and even though we know we should, it's never easy to walk away from someone we love. I wish you well on your journey forward!
When i was dating more frequently in my college years, i automatically knew he was either a love-bomber or basically a windbag when the "you know, you could be a model" made it's appearance. 🤣 Happy i had that awareness!
Thank you for sharing…FR!! I’ve watched soooo many videos & they were all relatable, however, this fkn video…YOU…idk what about it but it OPENED MY FKN EYES!!!! I can’t thank you enough!! (this is not a love bomb) i didn’t even know that was a thing until til very recently …LoL …this is me being in shock at how fkn naive I really was/am!!! Thank u again!!
Mine said she was my soulmate within 3 weeks. We are broken up now. But she lied a lot about her past. None of it made sense. She treated me very well. But yet I looked like the bad guy at the end.
I guy did that to me before I met him. I had lunch with him once and then came to my senses deleted his number and blocked him from my Facebook. I even blocked his work number.
Great advice. Thank you for this video. Im recently divorced and started dating someone who is amazing, so kind and loving. But i constantly wonder if im getting love bombed. Its been 7 months, and i only see them once a week. Taking it very slow. I havent seen any other red flags, i am cautiously optimistic.
@rachelhightops5261 I'm so glad you found it helpful! Good for you for taking it slow, and being cautiously optimistic. Remember, it's only love bombing if it's part of the cycle I explained in the video. If there other parts aren't there, it's not love bombing. I sincerely wish you well on your journey forward!
My son is blindly ‘in love’ and married a used up girl within a few months Clearly he had a gap I didn’t fill and I’m beating myself up over it. He literally just turned 21. After learning all about narcissism from a horrific neighbor ordeal, I recognize what she is. He’s in for a horrible life and I can do nothing I detest her and the years she will take from my son and from me.
@iztherelife1340 I'm sorry to hear. He will learn through his life experience as a young adult. The best parent in the world is STILL not a perfect parent! And parents aren't the only influence on a kid; social media, culture, music, their friends, coaches/teachers/etc. The best thing you can do is be there if/when he realizes.
Some WonderWorks in the same facility that I work at said that he likes me he gave me his number but when I called it I think it said this person cannot be reached not sure but I don't know this person is playing with my head or what tell me thank you
Could you explain the difference between anxious attachment and love bombing. I feel like falling for someone and being anxious at the same time can lead to similar behaviours. Even though, it's probably not due to bad intentions
Good question! Love bombing is part of a cycle of abuse, strategically forming fast bonds to exploit the person. Whereas an activated anxious attachment style is how a person tries to form attachments.
@tipsfromatherapist I too would love a video as to the differences in behaviors in these two - one with bad intentions, and the other with good intentions, albeit a bit too eager.
Love bombing is now the word I hear more from my wife after we get into a disagreement. With a ton of videos on how to look for love bombing and how to deal with love bombing. I seem it hard to find one video on how to truly show love the person so it is not "Love Bombing". Any tips there or is a subject that no one really wants to help out with? Because I am searching for a answer.
Good question! I can't answer in a way that directly applies to you and your situation, so I will speak generally. Here's a start: love bombing is part of a larger cycle of abuse, so for the love to be sincere, it should be continuous, and not used as a pawn to manipulate someone after conflict. It would also be good to know each others love languages, so the love is translating. Hope this is helpful!
I'm on the fence right now as a man, with a potential woman love bomber. I can't tell if she just likes me lot because I gave her great sex or if she just sees me as a keeper. So far, she's not overwhelming but does say she wants me a lot and stated, "she didn't want to share me" after 3 dates. She doesn't get upset tho, when I have other plans. Nor has she said anything mean (yet) . I'm so confused
Me too. On the fense and there are other obstacles to get over too. I think I like the challenge of this one but and very unsure as to the value of it being worth all of the trouble. Either way, its interesting.
Well; that's something you can check - simply explain to her that you would prefer not to have sex for a while, take it more slowly. See how she reacts.
I need help! I dont know if im being love bombed. I met this guy and we quickly started to day, everything feels so easy and secure with him. He always wants to hug me and kiss me and tells me how happy he is with me... He also texts me all day, which I find normal, and we also have scheduled time for voice calls. Only meet on weekends. But he is starting to talk about being in love and jokes with saying I love you. Sometimes i feel he is love bombing me. But im not sure since I've never been in a healthy relationship.. We have only been dating for a month... And although I feel very secure we have discussed about how he is in a different stage than I am, bc ge knows I dont like him as much as he likes me... I already know his family and sometimes I feel this is progressing too much... Im not sure, I dont want to end things just bc im scared and turns out he was a nice guy who lokes expressing his feelings
@danielalopez8688 Great question! A month is VERY fast to say I love you, especially if you only see each other on weekends. And I would believe your gut when you feel things are moving too fast. However, it's only love bombing if the other stages of the cycle of abuse are present as stated in the video, so time will tell on that. Take it slow; at least 3 months to assess someone's character and behavior across time. Even if it isn't love bombing, it is an effort to make a quick and deep bond without really knowing each other yet. At worst it's love bombing, at best it's immaturity.
@moonshine0221 A month is VERY fast to say I love you, especially if you only see each other on weekends. And I would believe your gut when you feel things are moving too fast. However, it's only love bombing if the other stages of the cycle of abuse are present as stated in the video, so time will tell on that. Take it slow; at least 3 months to assess someone's character and behavior across time. Even if it isn't love bombing, it is an effort to make a quick and deep bond without really knowing each other yet. At worst it's love bombing, at best it's immaturity.
@@tipsfromatherapist we’ve been knowing each other for more than three months, and I can say that he is absolutely not love bombing. I was just anxious over a situation I didn’t have details of, and my negative thoughts grew bigger and stronger because I didn’t get to talk about what I felt openly and also due to past trauma. I dealt with narcissistic men before and this one is definitely not one, and deep inside I knew it very well. but I kept on convincing myself he is just so I step back before it’s too late. I told him about this whole mess in my head and he was very patient and understanding, even though my assumptions low-key hurt him, since he never gave me any reason to doubt. my brain can’t adapt to the fact that I’m finally treated right and it perceives even healthy relationships as threat. and that’s genuinely very tiring. and even if he turns out to be a love bomber, I guess I’ll just never date again. let’s wait until my next menstrual cycle, and these thoughts will come back 😂 wow this was a long rant, whoever read it, thank you from the bottom of my heart 🫶🏻
@moonshine0221 I'm SO glad you talked it out! You're in the process of healing, and your brain is collecting evidence that partners can be safe, the same way it learned through trauma that it is unsafe. Be patient with yourself. It seems like you're getting better at deciphering safe from unsafe! Wishing you well on your journey forward!
How can I know if I have done this in past relationships or if it’s happening to me now? Everything has felt so natural to me, but now I’m questioning if my expression of feelings is excessive or too soon. I genuinely just want to be the best partner I can be.
@CB97113 Thank you for genuinely wanting to be the best partner you can be! It's only love bombing if the other phases of the cycle of abuse are present, as I had mentioned in the video. However, people who have been love bombed by previous partners can be, understandably, hypersensitive to too much admiration too soon. I wish you well on your journey forward!
@swiftie4lyfe It's only love bombing if it's part of a greater cycle of abuse narcissists use that I mentioned in the video. What you describe sounds similar to having an avoidant attachment style. I have a video describing the difference between the two that might be helpful. The fact that you don't feel good about it is a good sign that you aren't actually love bombing!
Right now i'm getting through a curious situation, and i think i need some advise. Exactly a year ago i started dating a girl for a month, but we decided to stay as friends since we both had personal issues in our lives. During 2024, we kept being good firends, but since the last days of november we became closer again, and started dating again since december 23. The thing is, now we're dating again our bond is getting more and more intense, sharing a lot of afection. We are having the kinda hard/uncomfortable conversations about what we are looking for, what we offer, and what our limits are (in both emotional and sexu@l ways) though, being corious and testing each other. It feels like we're building something genuine, but i'm a bit afraid that, because of how we both show afection in such a intense way, any of us might end up lovebombing and hurting the other. What do you think about the situation, and what do you think we can do to prevent ending that way?
Love-bombing isn't something you can hurt someone with by accident. It's a premeditated manipulation tactic where the person fakes love with a plan to incrementally withdraw the love over time and make it more intermittent & conditional. So the only thing you need to worry about preventing is her doing it to you. If she seems genuine, I wouldn't advise being cynical. If things start to deteriorate and she starts withdrawing her love, that's when it would be time to start asking yourself whether she was love bombing. From what you've written, it sounds like you have a fairly healthy relationship situation that this love bombing issue doesn't apply to.
I as a man, didn't know what this "love bombing" thing was. I have little to zero experience about relationships. These new girl I met at my job, wow she must've felt bad.
@alejomakevids It's only love bombing if the other phases in the cycle of abuse I listed in the video are also present, however women who have been love bombed by previous partners can be understandably hypersensitive. I wish you well on your journey gaining more experience in relationships!
What if you got back with your ex after 2 years , so we’ve already know each other but are trying again. I reached out to him( I broke up with him). He’s been sending so many affirmations and kind texts about me and a future together. he seems like he change. We don’t talk in the morning for about an hour and the evening time. I also even stayed a night with him and he said he wanted to wait for it to be special (iykyk). I’m scared, please help!!!
@co.betterliving if the other phases of the cycle of abuse mentioned in the video are not present, it's not love bombing. However, people can play games/be manipulative and it not technically be love bombing. Observe him for at least a season before recommitting to ensure the potential changes you notice are long standing. I wish you well on your journey forward!
@EARTHANGELSTAR You're only a narc if you also had the other stages of abuse following the love bombing phase. And if you WERE like that (you said "was", as in past tense) but not anymore, then you're also not a narc. However if you are a narc, seeing a therapist that specializes in narcissistic personality disorder can be a great resource for you. I wish you well on your journey forward!
I have probably loved bomb in my life - but I’m wary that I may be being loved bombed - here’s my trepidation though; I’ve known this person for roughly 5 years but on and off. We never really established what I would say is a deep connection within that time. We would go on 1 date and maybe see each other one time after and then we would both part ways for long periods. We ended up having sex after quite some time and afterwards they would tell me how they’d tell everyone about me. They would “spill” about me. They are “weak in the knees”. They started buying me gifts. Sending me money. Insisting on helping me. Extremely generous. Mind you - it’s only been 2 barely 3 months since we’ve had intercourse. They’re telling me they’re in love with me. They tell me they love me often. I feel conflicted because before seeing them I had just gotten out of a relationship and I communicated that I was looking for anything serious. Am I being love bombed? Or am I being resistant? It’s confusing
@Mz_liz0710 Time is the best thing to reveal poor character. Listen carefully to what he says, and see if his behaviors match. If his behavior doesn't match his words, believe the behavior as true. Take things slowly, and don't emotionally attach until you've spent at least a season (3 months) knowing this person.
I don’t think you understood the point of the video you should watch it again it is abusive in nature to love bomb somebody. She even goes into detail about after love bombing they then the value you so wouldn’t that be psychological abuse to then start devaluing you
@@Khadiyah01 Genuine question. What's the difference between somebody simply just being excited at the prospect of a new relationship that they see meaning and significance in and are genuinely invested in, therefore overstating the positive words / compliments early on, but without any abusive intent? I feel that this happens to some people pretty naturally (perhaps naively, but not maliciously), while others may be more reserved due to personality. I guess I still don't fully understand the exact line where this kind of behavior becomes abusive.
@TuMadreexP Good question! This is actually a common question people have, because intent matters to some people. True love bombing is part of a greater cycle of abuse (Google cycle of abuse). If it isn't part of an ongoing cycle, it isn't technically love bombing. It's just someone who is selfish, immature, or ignorant etc. Regardless of intent, the consequence is still damaging.
@calebdruckenmiller3148 Great question! True love bombing is part of a greater cycle of abuse (Google cycle of abuse). If it isn't part of an ongoing cycle, it isn't technically love bombing. It's just someone who is inexperienced with dating.
One thing i never understood about communication is: why is it bad to tell someone something about you (i was a drug user for a longtime) and its bad to talk about it (i think you are using again) to the person that told you. I think its super gaslighting that bad behovior isnt attached to a persons history, especially a history that has been validated by the person. The term "throwing something in my face" is only used by people who dont want to be accountable for their actions. Why is it bad to talk to your mate with respect in a one on one setting about anything?
Don't! just don't believe in love depicted in movies especially k-dramas. Always give time to understand the person before getting attached to their loving behaviour. Advice number 2: Don't seek attention from someone who is trying to impress you. Just act normally. when someone approaches you with personal questions be alert they are collecting information from you.
That's fucked up. Entertainment should educate. I only argue in this toxic manner with toxic people if I cannot avoid them because it is fighting fire with fire. If it's my choice, I walk away. Using the insecurities of others against them does not improve them and actually sets them up for self-defense and be less likely to change those behaviors. If you want to point out bad habits you have to do it in a way that shows there are manageable and practical steps for them to improve gradually. The more time you spend with someone without being emotionally or physically invested the easier it becomes to see if they are trustworthy of investing. Men and women seems to hit this impass where she is not giving physically because he is not giving emotionally or vice versa and it just ends up in a loop where the woman is at risk of cheating emotionally and the man is at risk of cheating physically or else they break up. It's so so hard to recognize when that loop started and you have to be so hyper diligent to the relationship I think most people are just not interested in putting that amount of effort to keep it going.
I’m not sure where this term comes from”love bombing” comes from but it seems to me that someone who has a healthy self esteem would not be enjoying so much attention also it is sort of self indulgent to believe you deserve that kind of attention 👍
@di380 Yes, people who haven't experienced real, healthy love don't have accurate expectations to screen out unhealthy behaviors. Thank you for watching!
1. Saying I love you really quickly
2. Wanting to dominate your time and attention (this is an excellent clue)
3 Wanting to be in touch all the time, almost checking up on you 24*7
4. Speeding up the timeline of commitment
5. Helping and assisting excessively even to the point of infantilising you
6. Devaluation - suddenly you feel icky about sharing your past traumas and vulnerabilities for eg. your dating history
7. Leaving when you’re at your most vulnerable and while doing it, saying something deeply personal or hurtful and totally beside the point (one of your soft wounds they’ve remembered).
8. Telling everybody about you before you’re ready and then reporting indirectly if one of their circle doesn’t approve. Just keeping you under pressure (one of the comments above asked if this was a sign and I firmly believe it is.)
The above is all true; it all happened to me, and this video is spot on. Yet I cling to the fantasy of it. I have some work yet to do. Thanks though ❤
I wish you well on your journey forward❤️
I was heavily love bombed recently. And knew it. He literally had a tick list of compliments that he would reel off. Said within a week he was "falling in love". Wanted to be with me all the time. And wanted to define us as in a relationship by the second date. Picked it all up very quickly and told him what he was doing and that I want to go slow...and then he didnt know what to do next! He wasnt able to go slow and steady and resorted to sending me photos of the pints of beer he was drinking rather than engaging in conversation. This was in the space of 2 weeks and it is now over (I ended it as it was clear we weren't right for each other). Looking back, I can see other manipulative tactics that I didnt pick up on straight away (mirroring my likes and dislikes for example). But overall I am glad I could see what was going on.
Another thing that I don't see talked about, but wonder if is also part of love bombing. As I've seen it before as well. But I've noticed that love bombers also tell everyone about you, to the extent that it feels almost like you are pressured to stay with them? I don't know if that is a love bombing thing or not though!
I'm so glad you were able to notice things that were off and listen to your gut!
Hmm, the telling others about you -- I'm not sure if it's a love bombing thing in this case. If not love bombing, definitely some other form of being unwell, immature, or manipulative in relationships.
Girl same!! He literally told everyone about me within a couple days of us talking and wanted us to be bf/gf within a week. Maybe it is a love bombing tactic ?
@@AlisonBSL same thing happened to me. He talking about marriage before we even met in person.
This just made me realise that although my boyfriend and I may be progressing a little faster than the average couple, it does not seem to be love bombing. I have once experienced love bombing and that felt a whole lot different.
Yes! When things progress a little fast, it's good to reflect and question, just in case. Love bombing is only when it's part of a greater cycle of abuse. I'm so glad you can tell the difference!
I have love bombed consistently over my life and I am realising it just now. I am wondering if there are any ways I can break the cycle and have better more genuine relationship with people. Or am I doomed to be the same person right until I reach my grave. I feel very bad about the hurt that I have done.
Surely not! Because you are sincere and self-aware. I say this as a crappy partner.
I have ADHD, and I realized that I do this too, and have been doing it naturally as well. For me, I’m being intentional about pacing myself, not giving a bunch of compliments, and restricting the amount of time I can spend.
@@AmberinTreesbe careful to differentiate between love-bombing and the “fawn response”
Your self awareness is the first step! You will be able to grow and you will be able to forgive yourself. Do not give up hope!
Remorse + self awareness + commitment towards change + the right support = a damn good chance to be the person you want to be!! I wish you well on your journey forward!
It's also important to keep in mind that *true love* takes time and you will know this person is the one when you both been through some challenges together and risen up feeling more connected and becoming a team more than ever :)
Struggles should make you feel stronger not weaker bcus you're afraid of being punished from your partner.
Many people romanticized "love at first sight" so it's easy to hold on to the love bombing 🥲
We just need to remind ourselves to be gentle with our relationship and takes as long time as we need 💗
Well said! Thank you for watching!
More often than not, relationships go downhill very easily when sex and romance comes into the picture too soon. In the past, I craved men being obsessed/taken up with me but now, I can say that nothing can be worse than that. Once the love bombing stage is over, you’ll be in for a lot of roller coaster rides. How can people be so into us in such a short space of time? No wonder so many relationships are disintegrating so rapidly!
@NikkiEdmunds You are so right! Thank you for watching and sharing your insight
This is something I went through recently and I'm so glad that I broke away before I was in too deep. The guy was moving this direction within two weeks and I saw all of the red flags, I knew something was off. Glad I listened to my first instinct. Great video that didn't take over half an hour to make a valid point.
Dang I wish I listened too! That fool moved in my house after 3 weeks! He got me good. Lesson learned!
I'm so glad you listened to your instinct!
Better late than never! Moving forward wiser!
Thank you!
Just ran into the exact same situation
Feel better after watching your video
I feel a sense of obligation and responsibility when someone wants my attention and has me on the pedestal. I don’t want to disappoint them.
Did not realize this sets me up for cycles of abuse 😮
No más!
I'm so glad you found this helpful! I wish you well on your journey forward!
Absolutely. Someone obsessing over you is a bad thing. Believe that. Trust that. Run from it. Look for unflashy (that does not mean neglectful) consistent care, not flashy obsession.
Well said!
I was in an abusive relationship several years ago, but exactly because of TV and people's simplified stories, ive gone on thinking the beginning (love bombing) is what a relationship is supposed to be like. Only recently realized a slow burn is more normal and while it feels nice, theres no good reason for someone to be obsessed with you 3 weeks in. 😮💨 Still have some work to do but this was very helpful.
@KayGee_yt Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm so glad you're learning and growing! Wishing you well on your journey forward!
This video is the best, concise advice on how to tell the difference between love bombing and genuine love. I'm listening to it on repeat until it's drilled into my mind!
@QCDoggies I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for your ongoing support :)
I've never seen someone put so much effort into helping their community by responding to so many comments...so I'm commenting for your algorithm as it's the best way I can show appreciation
@TrancEII2010 I appreciate your appreciation 🙏 I do my best to answer everyone, even if I'm a little slow
Thank you I needed this right now . I ended a relationship with a love bomber , I knew he was a love bomber but I convinced myself he was just suffering from past trauma , he would always blame things on me , devalue me , esp in front of friends . We would go out with friends and he would just disappear on me 😢 but every time it was me apparently . I said no more today . It’s hard when you love someone but I could not take any more passive aggressive crap , I am sad but I also feel slightly liberated to for saying no and having respect for me ❤️✌️🍍
@ellieunicorley4639 Yes, doing the "right thing" isn't necessarily easy or pain-free. I'm so happy for you and wish you well on your journey forward!
Tips from Dr Vacnin
1: if it feels to good to be true, it is too good to be true
2: too much effort is fake
3: too good to be true, is too good to be true
4: verify
By the way, you have a refreshing sense of humor... And that is not a bomb
@JC-gw3yo Great advice! Thank you for your kind words!
That comment, "they're not thing about you" is spot on.
Yes, so we owe it to ourselves to have our own backs!
I love your brief but comprehensive take on Love Bombing. You humor is good, too. 😂
I'm glad you appreciate my cheesy humor😂
I never knew love bomb existed . Until this girl told me about it , after I expressed my feelings .. that I held back for over a year. I was just being expressive and was proud of myself but I am not no love bomber….makes me watch my actions. Thank you great video…. But now I know why there is so many damn games … when it comes to love uggggg
The world needs more people willing to express themselves! Being expressive is definitely not the same as love bombing. It's only love bombing if it's part of a greater cycle of abuse. Otherwise, it could just be someone whose really stoked on a new person, or doesn't have a lot of experience with dating. I wish you well on your journey forward!
So grateful for your video Tya. I appreciate the validation of my recent experiences with new people and the confirmation that I’m on the right track. Thank you!! 🙏🏽 🎉🧡
i’m sad bc i met a guy a few days ago lmao and he’s very veryyyy interested and i can tell im being love bombed. i’ve been trying to establish some boundaries and honestly call him out 😭 i should just walk away but im so attracted to him. i hate being me sometimes lol
@Mayabishop15 have you tried dating uglier guys? 😂 Just kidding!! It's a tough spot to be in. Think of it like their attractiveness is a weapon against you, not a gift.
Holy crap 😊I just went through this with my ex partner. It’s definitely didn’t last long. I wish I would have known about love bombing people before. Thank you for this video.
Thank you for watching! I'm glad it didn't last long. Moving forward wiser!
This video went so hard
@dougindigo1928 Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
word
This a topic I talk about with my granddaughters! They are 7 and 8 so I have some time. No relationship is everything to anyone. And the fable of the snake that wants to have me pick it up to keep it warm. Then it bites and tells me I knew it was a snake.
What an important life lesson. You go, grandma!
You’re so different from all the other therapists here. I enjoyed watching. Didn’t get bored. This was so interesting and so informative. Definitely subscribing ❤
Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad you're here😊
I knew it. He tried to manipulate me by love bombing me 😂 good news I am an avoidant so his actions disgusted me instead and I told him I hate liars. He wanted me to meet him, call him, and text him 24/7. He tried to mirror me. He said he loved me one week after knowing me😂 (I knew he was lying) I told him that’s not love, love needs time. I openly told him that I can’t date someone I don’t t even know well.” I know enough” was his response. He talked about himself all the time and tried his best to impress me but that just pushed me away. I was not even interested. I ended up blocking him. Pathetic!
I'm so glad you saw the signs! I wish you well on your journey going forward!
@@tipsfromatherapist thank you so much💕.I really wanna thank you for this video because at first i thought I did the wrong thing by being cold blocking him and worried if I hurt his feelings but now I can see it clearly! He was a pathetic loser.
What's an avoidant?
Good question! An "avoidant" is someone who struggles forming healthy attachments with others. Emotional intimacy is uncomfortable for them, and they prioritize independence over interdependence.
Texting 24/7 means 3-4 Tex’s A day? Or what is the number of texts x day?
So funny! Really enjoyed watching, can't beleive this doesn't have millions of views.
Thank you so much! Glad you're here!
This happened to my best
friend. She met an older (14 years) man that had lost his wife just three months earlier, he went after her full force. All of her friends warned her, but she didn't listen. They were married within a year. She has lost most of her friends, including myself recently because of his narcissistic behavior, and I was the only one willing to give him a chance. My tip would be if you know something about a person make sure you speak your mind because you will likely lose your friend anyway.
I feel so much shame for falling for my ex's love bombing.
About a 2 months in the problems started to surface. She was treated badly at work, her mum gave her a hard time, her dad would rarely see her or contact her, she had no friends, she was seemingly always unwell... And then she started to focus on me.
Despite treating her like gold and being so patient, she belitted me, insulted me, was jealous of me, didn't care for my achievements, expected me to pay for everything, lured me on an expensive trip (which was awful for 90% of it), had the cheek to call me "stingey", had so many unprovoked ups and downs and then came the brutal discard.
I'm glad it was just a 7-month relationship. I ignored so many "red flags" because of how the love bombing made me feel and because I was so atrracted to her.
Ultimately, she caused me a great deal of stress. My mental, emotional and physical health declined and I was often so miserable.
And yet, somehow, I miss her two months after the discard. Why do I miss someone who was so abusive? It's so messed up.
@MikeJackson690 Love bombers hijack our deepest need for love and attachment. They don't have a typical person's mindset, so it doesn't occur to us that this is actually a cycle of abuse. We're told, "all relationships are hard", so we don't expect perfection, and most people don't have a single good example of a healthy relationship. The very aspects of you that were exploited, are the same aspects that can make you a great partner to the right person. I wish you well on your journey forward
Thanks for offering a lot of good advice in a very short time frame . I also like your light tone and fun approach to a very serious topic of picking a person. I found myself gravitating towards this topic because of wanting to be able to discern the difference between being the recipient and instigator of love bombing. I also currently find myself attracted to an individual where there’s a huge age gap and I am trying to assess if my motives are for my own gratification or if l genuinely understand what l am feeling and if l know how to express it in a healthy constructive, respectful unconditional manner.
Thank you for watching! I wish you well on your journey forward!
Perfectly delivered! 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 I’m warning a friend with a share and a like! Not all heroes wear capes! Thanks girl!
Also search - what is limerence - who knew?? I sure didn’t!!!
Thank you for your kind words and your support! And for being a good friend!
That is a new word for me! Thank you for sharing!
I completely agree. Thank you for encouraging and helping others ❤
You are so welcome!
@@tipsfromatherapist 🛡️ Is there a way to shield yourself, or defend against this? …. On a related note, how can a person stop the flood of, or neutralize endorphins (oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine)? 💔😢
I accidently caused a lovebomber to slip up once and drop a flag during a conversation where I impromptu asked her to actually do me a small favour (pick up something which I was willing to pay for up front) "Uh... yeah sure, here's... how you can do that yourself... now back to the love bombs you dumb guy" (a paraphrase of course). I'll remember that one for the next time. As for the second question, I'm no expert, but based on personal experience: if you're male forget it; you'll have a 16-year-old small head into your 80's unless you take medication to sedate yourself. As men get older (and richer), they become more of a target for lovebombers while their self-esteem simultaneously drops. Your best defense is gaining knowledge along the way and using it@@mike.pittsburgh3466
Good question! The best defense is awareness of the love bombing cycle of abuse, then creating and maintaining boundaries to limit that person's access to you. Neutralizing endorphins would be disrupting the body's natural functions that are needed to be healthy. We don't want a "hack" to stop this. There will always be liars and manipulators in the world, and others can put on a good performance in the beginning. Going slow, not attaching too soon, and watching carefully is the way!
I appreciate your willingness to offer guidance to others!
This channel is going to be big, thank you for the content 🙏🙏
Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad you're here!
Thank you so much for this. It explained my situation perfectly. It provided such clarity, and that makes me feel better.
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching!
You’re a great speaker and therapist, thank you. I took good notes from this ❤
Thank you for your kind words!
Absolutely brilliant delivery! I will circulate it to my friends.
Thank you for your kind words and support! I'm glad you're here!
This was a great confirmation of what I suspected I am going through. Thank you!
@BandyAir I'm so glad you found it helpful! I wish you well on your journey forward!
Very informative about explain genuine love in general tanks much.
Those behaviors and patterns are truth yellow flags.
You got to be strong and ready to identify and let go with an wisdom 👍
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for watching!
Thank you. I needed to hear this...watched3x's. Currently getting hoovered. Love bombs dropping. Drama already happening, for not living up to her expectations...
Not going to take the bait this time.
@MarkM-ke6cn I'm so glad you found it helpful! I wish you well on your journey forward!
I just fell for this and damn, it sucks...
Me too girl!! Me fkn tooooooo!!!!! uuugggghhhhhhh
I wish you well on your journey forward!
I wish you well on your journey forward!
Thank you so much for this video...... This is valuable information ...and it is very well said...
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for watching 🥰
When she said “NO stop it” she was talking to me lmfaooo 😭😭😭
me too twin 😔
@onlykeisha4240 Yes, I was😉
@mayabishop15 I wish you well on your journey forward!
@@tipsfromatherapist thank you 🥹🩷
Real talk!!
I had that same bad experience!! Thanks for this great vid
@lanekka_lee3121 You are so welcome! Thank you for watching!
Thank you for this!!! I think inconsistency is also a big red flag but this applies to whether you guys are in the same orbit most or all of the time. 😩 (e.g. this guy loved bombed and would be bold on some days but then pretend i wasn’t there on others and this was such a big red flag because we’re literally in each others orbit all of the time so it got so extremely confusing, but you’re not at fault and someone’s love bombing isn’t a reflection of you but of themselves!!
@Flemlolol You're so welcome, thank you for watching! You are correct! Thank you for sharing encouraging words to others!
Thanks, I am very high and in my own head right now; I wanted to make sure I wasn't being emotionally
abusive and that what I feel and have been feeling is genuine. Literally had me second guessing my own feelings
and how I talk and react and feel things. I really needed to hear a more in-depth difference between
"love bombing" and "love". Especially at the part where the partner uses the personal deep talk, past pains, traumas
and fears against the other? That's crazy, couldn't imagine hurting somebody, especially when you care about them. Nor
do I create a fake image of myself, I'm upfront about who and what I am and that I am certainly far from perfect.
And because we've only interested in each other for maybe a few months if even, I admit I was
the one who started saying "I love you" and it seems to be reciprocated. But like I started that, I tell all my friends
that I love them. So I really don't know. If feelings are genuine, I've felt them from the beginning, like actual
feelings, I'll truly know.
@kenny.m.olsen95 Yes, sometimes we can know it's love somewhat early on, and other times we get swept up in the excitement of someone and move too fast. It's good that you err on the side of caution and want to make sure you aren't love bombing someone! To clarify, it's only love bombing if the other phases of abuse I mentioned in the video are present as well.
This is exactly what I’m experiencing. I recently started dating again and I’m having trouble discerning whether this guy is love bombing me or whether I’m the problem and self sabotaging what could be a good relationship. He’s coming on sooooo strong and we haven’t even gone on our first date yet. He text me long, deep messages about his thoughts and to me, it feels overwhelming to hold space for someone I hardly know. I then second guess if this is just me feeling uncomfortable because I’ve never been in a healthy relationship where someone has shown this much interest so quickly. Help 😢
Same! I guess u must meet and if all goes well , pace yourself, as the video said. Do not doubt yourself, never, trust your gut and try to take control and don’t let this guy think he’s got you. Don’t fall for an easy bait, but enjoy getting what you deserve until it’s healthy.
@Ness-nq2mo Based on your description, it doesn't sound healthy. Believe your body when it tells you it's overwhelming to hold space for someone you hardly know. Too much interest too quickly is always a bad sign; whether it's love bombing or another unhealthy behavior.
@newricoyorkonsoli5193 Thank you for your care and kind words towards another person
Great job and thank you! This topic is essential in today's confused dating world where terms like "love bombing" are thrown around so recklessly that even appropriate affection is mistaken for hostile and toxic red flags. Seeking a balanced approach based on measured caution helps to protect both against legitimate narcissists and against throwing in the towel over harmless initial tokens of appreciation.
Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad you found it helpful!
A few months ago I finally left abusive relationship.
Now when Im happy, alone and with myself, when my mind is clear - I met someone, who is exactly like my ex....
love bombs me, loves me only after a month of knowing me, talks about marriage and kids
nope nope nope - thank you, bye bye ! Im not going back to the same cycle, just with another man.
YES!! 👏🥳 Love this for you!
Perfectly said. I subscribed. 👊😎
i just got with my boyfriend and he said i love you on the second day and he’s quite flirty, im scared if he’s doing this to me
@sickaffection Definitely a reason for concern! 🚩
This is some of the greatest applicable advice I've ever heard on love.
Thank you for your kind words! Happy to help!
I've only just found your channel and this is the first video I watched, which is brilliant! In fact, it's one of the best I've seen on the subject, so definitely subscribed. I'll be watching all the other ones as well.
I want to add that I laughed about your sarcasm in regard to the lovebombing because I received over the top text messages from the last conman I got caught up with, after 17 years of being single.
It turned out that he was only after s*x, then money and it graduated to somewhere to stay for a few months, until I put a complete stop to the cycle. He moved from place to place and back again, so liked to have a girl in every port, as the old saying goes!
I'm also going to share your videos with other people who will benefit, especially since you didn't mention the N word. I've found that it can be too much for some people, which is totally understandable. 😊
Thank you so much for your kind words and your support! I'm so glad you're here!
I still question if my ex loved me. If any of my exes loved me lol. But the more recent ex, was very affectionate very soon, until he asked me to change my entire self for him. It does feel like being hoodwinked. Turns out, he had a type, women with limited experience with dating men.
That's not love. I wish you well on your search to find it!
Your acting, channeling the bomber is hilarious, in a good way.
Thank you for watching and for your kind words!
Hi, could you please make a video, about the difference between lovebombing and overexcitedness, I Have Adhd, Sometimes i feel like people see my overexcitedness as Red. i genuinely love to get know people and learn from them, i just feel like we are not here as long as we wanted to be, sometimes it make me feel sad because, it kinda everyone is a narcissist on the internet, red flags and all that. sometimes it makes me feel not try anymore, i hope there'll be an explanation or distinction between the 2. or am i really a narcissist i dont know. hope you'll read this. Thank you! ((:
@irayeth3549 That's an interesting topic, I'll think on it and see what I can do!
@tipsfromatherapist Wooow Thank you so much! I am really looking forward to it! Godbless.
I wasnt sure anout watching this videp first, but i ended up enjoying it. Thank you.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching!
This video was very informative! Great job delivering
Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you, this made things very clear. I have been soooo lovebombed very recently. I had no clue, never heard of it. I am an avoidant and I have been working so hard on my self the last 5 years because I really want to connect and have a deep fullfilling realtionship. I really thought I met 'the' guy and I was picking the fruits of my hard work. I fell in love so hard! Then his behaviour switched and I started to figure out the real story. I am still in the realtionship, I didn;t feel the strenght to step out. Eventhough I am sure now I have to. I have two questions: is an avoidant and a narcissist atracting each other? And is it possible the lovebomber is really in love but doesn't know how to act healthy or is there never real love involved? Thank you!
@gorebel3860 Great questions! There's no hard and fast rule for avoidants and narcissists attracting each other, though it can happen. However, love bombers don't have the same definition or capacity for love as non-narcissists. I'm glad you are noticing signs, and even though we know we should, it's never easy to walk away from someone we love. I wish you well on your journey forward!
Educative video
I'm glad you found it helpful!
When i was dating more frequently in my college years, i automatically knew he was either a love-bomber or basically a windbag when the "you know, you could be a model" made it's appearance. 🤣 Happy i had that awareness!
Good instincts!
Excellent video.
Thank you! Glad you're here!
Thank you for this information!
Thank you for watching!
GOODAMN SHE RESPONDS TO EVERY COMMENT
@DailyCookieStorys YES! Including yours :) Thanks for watching!
Thank you for sharing…FR!! I’ve watched soooo many videos & they were all relatable, however, this fkn video…YOU…idk what about it but it OPENED MY FKN EYES!!!! I can’t thank you enough!!
(this is not a love bomb) i didn’t even know that was a thing until til very recently …LoL …this is me being in shock at how fkn naive I really was/am!!! Thank u again!!
😂 "(this is not a love bomb)"
Thank you for your kind words, and I'm so glad you found it helpful!
I just experienced this. I’m left with so many questions after being love bombed. This one hurts…
I wish you well on your journey forward!
Mine said she was my soulmate within 3 weeks. We are broken up now. But she lied a lot about her past. None of it made sense. She treated me very well. But yet I looked like the bad guy at the end.
@Thelivinglifeshow I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I wish you well in your journey forward!
I guy did that to me before I met him. I had lunch with him once and then came to my senses deleted his number and blocked him from my Facebook. I even blocked his work number.
@amberstephens6167 Good for you!!
I don't know how I fall for these every time. Although I am more aware now and try to restrict my interaction with these kind of people.
You're learning and growing, that's fabulous! Soon, you'll spot them from a mile away and avoid them all together.
Great stuff! Thanks for the video.
Thanks for watching!
U have a huge smile 🥰
I recently noticed I do this. Not deliberately though.
Awareness is a great start! I wish you well on your journey forward 😊
Love -- wonderful vibe + info 👌🏼
Thank you! Glad you're here!
Great advice. Thank you for this video. Im recently divorced and started dating someone who is amazing, so kind and loving. But i constantly wonder if im getting love bombed. Its been 7 months, and i only see them once a week. Taking it very slow. I havent seen any other red flags, i am cautiously optimistic.
@rachelhightops5261 I'm so glad you found it helpful! Good for you for taking it slow, and being cautiously optimistic. Remember, it's only love bombing if it's part of the cycle I explained in the video. If there other parts aren't there, it's not love bombing. I sincerely wish you well on your journey forward!
Thank you for this 🙏🏻
@iihabibaii You're so welcome! Thank you for watching!
My son is blindly ‘in love’ and married a used up girl within a few months Clearly he had a gap I didn’t fill and I’m beating myself up over it. He literally just turned 21. After learning all about narcissism from a horrific neighbor ordeal, I recognize what she is. He’s in for a horrible life and I can do nothing
I detest her and the years she will take from my son and from me.
@iztherelife1340 I'm sorry to hear. He will learn through his life experience as a young adult. The best parent in the world is STILL not a perfect parent! And parents aren't the only influence on a kid; social media, culture, music, their friends, coaches/teachers/etc. The best thing you can do is be there if/when he realizes.
Some WonderWorks in the same facility that I work at said that he likes me he gave me his number but when I called it I think it said this person cannot be reached not sure but I don't know this person is playing with my head or what tell me thank you
I'm very late at responding to this, so I hope things worked out! The answer is simple -- address it directly!
Thanks for the advice 😊
@SitheapTeel You are so welcome! Thank you for watching!
Could you explain the difference between anxious attachment and love bombing. I feel like falling for someone and being anxious at the same time can lead to similar behaviours. Even though, it's probably not due to bad intentions
Good question! Love bombing is part of a cycle of abuse, strategically forming fast bonds to exploit the person. Whereas an activated anxious attachment style is how a person tries to form attachments.
@tipsfromatherapist I too would love a video as to the differences in behaviors in these two - one with bad intentions, and the other with good intentions, albeit a bit too eager.
@npkrn6764 Good idea! I'll think on it and see what I can do!
Love bombing is now the word I hear more from my wife after we get into a disagreement. With a ton of videos on how to look for love bombing and how to deal with love bombing. I seem it hard to find one video on how to truly show love the person so it is not "Love Bombing". Any tips there or is a subject that no one really wants to help out with? Because I am searching for a answer.
Good question! I can't answer in a way that directly applies to you and your situation, so I will speak generally. Here's a start: love bombing is part of a larger cycle of abuse, so for the love to be sincere, it should be continuous, and not used as a pawn to manipulate someone after conflict. It would also be good to know each others love languages, so the love is translating. Hope this is helpful!
I'm on the fence right now as a man, with a potential woman love bomber. I can't tell if she just likes me lot because I gave her great sex or if she just sees me as a keeper. So far, she's not overwhelming but does say she wants me a lot and stated, "she didn't want to share me" after 3 dates. She doesn't get upset tho, when I have other plans. Nor has she said anything mean (yet) . I'm so confused
Me too. On the fense and there are other obstacles to get over too. I think I like the challenge of this one but and very unsure as to the value of it being worth all of the trouble. Either way, its interesting.
Well; that's something you can check - simply explain to her that you would prefer not to have sex for a while, take it more slowly. See how she reacts.
Talk about it with her! Clarity is a kindness
Life is challenging enough! Don't look for challenges in people
I need help! I dont know if im being love bombed. I met this guy and we quickly started to day, everything feels so easy and secure with him. He always wants to hug me and kiss me and tells me how happy he is with me...
He also texts me all day, which I find normal, and we also have scheduled time for voice calls. Only meet on weekends.
But he is starting to talk about being in love and jokes with saying I love you.
Sometimes i feel he is love bombing me. But im not sure since I've never been in a healthy relationship..
We have only been dating for a month... And although I feel very secure we have discussed about how he is in a different stage than I am, bc ge knows I dont like him as much as he likes me...
I already know his family and sometimes I feel this is progressing too much...
Im not sure, I dont want to end things just bc im scared and turns out he was a nice guy who lokes expressing his feelings
same here
@danielalopez8688 Great question! A month is VERY fast to say I love you, especially if you only see each other on weekends. And I would believe your gut when you feel things are moving too fast. However, it's only love bombing if the other stages of the cycle of abuse are present as stated in the video, so time will tell on that. Take it slow; at least 3 months to assess someone's character and behavior across time. Even if it isn't love bombing, it is an effort to make a quick and deep bond without really knowing each other yet. At worst it's love bombing, at best it's immaturity.
@moonshine0221 A month is VERY fast to say I love you, especially if you only see each other on weekends. And I would believe your gut when you feel things are moving too fast. However, it's only love bombing if the other stages of the cycle of abuse are present as stated in the video, so time will tell on that. Take it slow; at least 3 months to assess someone's character and behavior across time. Even if it isn't love bombing, it is an effort to make a quick and deep bond without really knowing each other yet. At worst it's love bombing, at best it's immaturity.
@@tipsfromatherapist we’ve been knowing each other for more than three months, and I can say that he is absolutely not love bombing. I was just anxious over a situation I didn’t have details of, and my negative thoughts grew bigger and stronger because I didn’t get to talk about what I felt openly and also due to past trauma. I dealt with narcissistic men before and this one is definitely not one, and deep inside I knew it very well. but I kept on convincing myself he is just so I step back before it’s too late. I told him about this whole mess in my head and he was very patient and understanding, even though my assumptions low-key hurt him, since he never gave me any reason to doubt. my brain can’t adapt to the fact that I’m finally treated right and it perceives even healthy relationships as threat. and that’s genuinely very tiring. and even if he turns out to be a love bomber, I guess I’ll just never date again. let’s wait until my next menstrual cycle, and these thoughts will come back 😂 wow this was a long rant, whoever read it, thank you from the bottom of my heart 🫶🏻
@moonshine0221 I'm SO glad you talked it out! You're in the process of healing, and your brain is collecting evidence that partners can be safe, the same way it learned through trauma that it is unsafe. Be patient with yourself. It seems like you're getting better at deciphering safe from unsafe! Wishing you well on your journey forward!
dang, this female love bomed me so hard. Lesson learned :) I wish her well though.
I wish you well on your journey forward!
How can I know if I have done this in past relationships or if it’s happening to me now? Everything has felt so natural to me, but now I’m questioning if my expression of feelings is excessive or too soon. I genuinely just want to be the best partner I can be.
@CB97113 Thank you for genuinely wanting to be the best partner you can be! It's only love bombing if the other phases of the cycle of abuse are present, as I had mentioned in the video. However, people who have been love bombed by previous partners can be, understandably, hypersensitive to too much admiration too soon. I wish you well on your journey forward!
Does anybody know if lovebombing is only at the beginning of the relationship or does it lasts consistently all throughout the relationship?
Good question! When it is true love bombing, it's part of a cycle that is ongoing throughout the relationship.
If what you think might be lovebombing continues consistently for years, you're one of the lucky ones! That's called love and devotion.
Not the Malcolm X quote 😭🤣 Great content 👏🏾👏🏾
@KishBish I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thanks for watching!
In scared I’m lovebombing this guy I’m with😭😭 I’m dating him now but I lose interest and gain it so fast and I don’t even know how I feel
@swiftie4lyfe It's only love bombing if it's part of a greater cycle of abuse narcissists use that I mentioned in the video. What you describe sounds similar to having an avoidant attachment style. I have a video describing the difference between the two that might be helpful. The fact that you don't feel good about it is a good sign that you aren't actually love bombing!
@@tipsfromatherapist I literally love u so much omg thank u I’ll watch it for sure!!!
Right now i'm getting through a curious situation, and i think i need some advise. Exactly a year ago i started dating a girl for a month, but we decided to stay as friends since we both had personal issues in our lives.
During 2024, we kept being good firends, but since the last days of november we became closer again, and started dating again since december 23.
The thing is, now we're dating again our bond is getting more and more intense, sharing a lot of afection. We are having the kinda hard/uncomfortable conversations about what we are looking for, what we offer, and what our limits are (in both emotional and sexu@l ways) though, being corious and testing each other. It feels like we're building something genuine, but i'm a bit afraid that, because of how we both show afection in such a intense way, any of us might end up lovebombing and hurting the other.
What do you think about the situation, and what do you think we can do to prevent ending that way?
Love-bombing isn't something you can hurt someone with by accident. It's a premeditated manipulation tactic where the person fakes love with a plan to incrementally withdraw the love over time and make it more intermittent & conditional. So the only thing you need to worry about preventing is her doing it to you. If she seems genuine, I wouldn't advise being cynical. If things start to deteriorate and she starts withdrawing her love, that's when it would be time to start asking yourself whether she was love bombing. From what you've written, it sounds like you have a fairly healthy relationship situation that this love bombing issue doesn't apply to.
Thank you 😢❤
You're absolutely welcome 😊
I as a man, didn't know what this "love bombing" thing was. I have little to zero experience about relationships. These new girl I met at my job, wow she must've felt bad.
@alejomakevids It's only love bombing if the other phases in the cycle of abuse I listed in the video are also present, however women who have been love bombed by previous partners can be understandably hypersensitive. I wish you well on your journey gaining more experience in relationships!
What if you got back with your ex after 2 years , so we’ve already know each other but are trying again. I reached out to him( I broke up with him). He’s been sending so many affirmations and kind texts about me and a future together. he seems like he change. We don’t talk in the morning for about an hour and the evening time. I also even stayed a night with him and he said he wanted to wait for it to be special (iykyk). I’m scared, please help!!!
@co.betterliving if the other phases of the cycle of abuse mentioned in the video are not present, it's not love bombing. However, people can play games/be manipulative and it not technically be love bombing. Observe him for at least a season before recommitting to ensure the potential changes you notice are long standing. I wish you well on your journey forward!
Then am i a narc because i was like that
@EARTHANGELSTAR You're only a narc if you also had the other stages of abuse following the love bombing phase. And if you WERE like that (you said "was", as in past tense) but not anymore, then you're also not a narc. However if you are a narc, seeing a therapist that specializes in narcissistic personality disorder can be a great resource for you. I wish you well on your journey forward!
@EARTHANGELSTAR 🫢 ...That's exactly what a narc would say... lol just kidding!
I have probably loved bomb in my life - but I’m wary that I may be being loved bombed - here’s my trepidation though; I’ve known this person for roughly 5 years but on and off. We never really established what I would say is a deep connection within that time. We would go on 1 date and maybe see each other one time after and then we would both part ways for long periods. We ended up having sex after quite some time and afterwards they would tell me how they’d tell everyone about me. They would “spill” about me. They are “weak in the knees”. They started buying me gifts. Sending me money. Insisting on helping me. Extremely generous. Mind you - it’s only been 2 barely 3 months since we’ve had intercourse. They’re telling me they’re in love with me. They tell me they love me often. I feel conflicted because before seeing them I had just gotten out of a relationship and I communicated that I was looking for anything serious. Am I being love bombed? Or am I being resistant? It’s confusing
I would be very wary of what you just described...
How do I know he created false things about him. We just started talking, today is the third day😢
@Mz_liz0710 Time is the best thing to reveal poor character. Listen carefully to what he says, and see if his behaviors match. If his behavior doesn't match his words, believe the behavior as true. Take things slowly, and don't emotionally attach until you've spent at least a season (3 months) knowing this person.
Are they abusive people?
I don’t think you understood the point of the video you should watch it again it is abusive in nature to love bomb somebody.
She even goes into detail about after love bombing they then the value you so wouldn’t that be psychological abuse to then start devaluing you
@@Khadiyah01 Genuine question. What's the difference between somebody simply just being excited at the prospect of a new relationship that they see meaning and significance in and are genuinely invested in, therefore overstating the positive words / compliments early on, but without any abusive intent? I feel that this happens to some people pretty naturally (perhaps naively, but not maliciously), while others may be more reserved due to personality. I guess I still don't fully understand the exact line where this kind of behavior becomes abusive.
@@calebdruckenmiller3148I wonder the same thing? I feel like every behaviour is now considered pathological. Can we trust anybody?
@TuMadreexP Good question! This is actually a common question people have, because intent matters to some people. True love bombing is part of a greater cycle of abuse (Google cycle of abuse). If it isn't part of an ongoing cycle, it isn't technically love bombing. It's just someone who is selfish, immature, or ignorant etc. Regardless of intent, the consequence is still damaging.
@calebdruckenmiller3148 Great question! True love bombing is part of a greater cycle of abuse (Google cycle of abuse). If it isn't part of an ongoing cycle, it isn't technically love bombing. It's just someone who is inexperienced with dating.
Damn, regardless of intent the actions of my ex match up with this shite.
Yes, regardless of intent, the consequences are still the same. I wish you well moving forward!
One thing i never understood about communication is: why is it bad to tell someone something about you (i was a drug user for a longtime) and its bad to talk about it (i think you are using again) to the person that told you. I think its super gaslighting that bad behovior isnt attached to a persons history, especially a history that has been validated by the person. The term "throwing something in my face" is only used by people who dont want to be accountable for their actions. Why is it bad to talk to your mate with respect in a one on one setting about anything?
Don't! just don't believe in love depicted in movies especially k-dramas. Always give time to understand the person before getting attached to their loving behaviour. Advice number 2: Don't seek attention from someone who is trying to impress you. Just act normally. when someone approaches you with personal questions be alert they are collecting information from you.
@priyasadar71 Thank you for caring about others enough to share advice!
💯
I'm so glad you found it helpful! Thank you for watching!
That's fucked up. Entertainment should educate. I only argue in this toxic manner with toxic people if I cannot avoid them because it is fighting fire with fire. If it's my choice, I walk away. Using the insecurities of others against them does not improve them and actually sets them up for self-defense and be less likely to change those behaviors. If you want to point out bad habits you have to do it in a way that shows there are manageable and practical steps for them to improve gradually. The more time you spend with someone without being emotionally or physically invested the easier it becomes to see if they are trustworthy of investing. Men and women seems to hit this impass where she is not giving physically because he is not giving emotionally or vice versa and it just ends up in a loop where the woman is at risk of cheating emotionally and the man is at risk of cheating physically or else they break up. It's so so hard to recognize when that loop started and you have to be so hyper diligent to the relationship I think most people are just not interested in putting that amount of effort to keep it going.
I wish you well on your journey forward!
I’m not sure where this term comes from”love bombing” comes from but it seems to me that someone who has a healthy self esteem would not be enjoying so much attention also it is sort of self indulgent to believe you deserve that kind of attention 👍
@di380 Yes, people who haven't experienced real, healthy love don't have accurate expectations to screen out unhealthy behaviors. Thank you for watching!
Why!? 😂😂😂😂
@DebrisZ1 I'm glad you appreciate my humor!
@@tipsfromatherapistthat video of the pastor saying why always makes me laugh, so yeah I definitely appreciate it lol
Omg
Thank you for watching!