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How Can You Tell if You're Being Love Bombed?
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- Опубліковано 16 сер 2024
- 00:00 Intro
00:20 What is love bombing?
01:35 What is healthy idealization?
03:02 Positive illusions with a narcissist
03:41 Spotting trouble
05:31 When is a relationship real?
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How Can You Tell If You're Being Love Bombed?
The emotional experiences that drive love bombing play a crucial (and fun!) role in healthy relationships. Also known as positive illusions, these ways of seeing each and relating help build bonds. But what happens when a narcissist gets involved and takes the fun of positive illusions to an unhealthy place? Find out more as I discuss the features of healthy positive illusions and how to tell when the fun turns ominous in this video about "love bombing".
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I think it's also about the goal of love bombing / idealisation. Is it a manipulative tactic or simply a sign of romantic interest?
Correct. And the only way to tell the difference is with authentic romance, your love interest doesn’t react with anger or intense hurt simply because you want to come back down to earth.
@@CraigMalkin Indeed. Sounds like a good yet simple 'assessment'!
If you pump the brakes on the love bomber they’ll disappear or devalue you .. and there’s your answer
Thank you! It's so hard not to feel dumb for falling for it
One of THE BEST videos explaining love bombing - for me the biggest red flag is feeling like i owe this guy bc he dotes on me so much. When someone gets passive aggressive or emotionally manipulative when i put boundaries its another red flag, or yellow flag at least.
yup. nail on the head. i couldn't figure it out. i was feeling bad like i was rejecting him...but it didnt feel genuine. this describes it perfectly. the reaction to anything but "yes" tells it ALL.
Love bombing sucks, after you husband cheats on you and then tries to love bomb you again, put you up on that pedestal again, after viciously and callously ripping you off of it, with no empathy, compassion, no regard for what you had done for them for 27 years - only to put a total stranger up on one. I told him to STOP! Enough! He is in therapy right now, but we are seriously struggling, because he is struggling with how to do basic things, like have manners, and respect for others, act like a decent human being, etc. He uses defense mechanisms, lies, has rage fits, etc! He's like a 3 year old child, at 54! It boggles the mind of healthier people. Me and our adult children are just dumbfounded to discover who he really is after 27 years of thinking he was a great guy! Very sad...sad stuff. My husband devalued me after losing his job, and started cheating and he immediately started "love bombing" this person he hadn't spent any time with (he works from home and was never away from me, it was a phone/text relationship), started calling her "his love" and "beautiful" (she wasn't), when he didn't know anything about her. But it was the exact same things he had told me for 27 years! He still hates it when I told him he was love bombing her, and then turned around and started trying to love bomb me after he was caught. Really is very disgusting behavior and very childlike. Gross. Just Gross. Thanks for this video! Always helpful!
Dear Sly, the problem is how to get real help. I was married for 50yrs and that was so hard because I worked hard bringing up 3 children and never being supported. I realised at a younger age that I was the carer of 4 children, my husband was one on them and to this day he believes he gave me his time and support. Haha. We went together from 14yrs and married at 20/21. He told me about his new love (who was my best friend in our small business) before we agreed to separate two days before our 50th wedding anniversary which happened to be St valentines Day 2020. I am at a loss especially as I don’t know why. At first, after a great deal of research, I narrowed it down to either HFAutism or narcissism because he was a gentle soul but very hurtful. How do we know when these people refuse to get a diagnosis. I am in an absolute quandary as he doesn’t want a divorce but cannot build a relationship with our middle aged children.
Great to see you on, Craig. Best, Daniel
Great to see you again dr. Craig.
Holy cow, could I have used this info in 2018. Thank you sooooo much for helping me to realize I wasn't wrong!
Enjoyed your book!
It's not the person doing the manipulation . It's how the victim receives it. Victim blame much.
Thank you!
You’re so welcome!
Thank you.
I was married for 50yrs before my husband told me he had feelings for another woman. When
we were going together, he was totally enarmoured with me and I with him because he was different.
We had been going together since we were 14 and married at 20/21. He changed overnight and the next
morning disappeared. I waited all day for some sign from but got none. He came home at about 5:30pm.
He had been at a fairly close University where I worked and he was studying English Lit. When he left me after 50yrs
this was the strange sort of thing he always did and thought nothing of it. I have been having trouble understanding if this is Covert Narcissism or HFA. I would love your opinion although I know you would need more detail. His response to this hurtful event was “People Change”. I couldn’t believe it.
Autistics possess empathy..many are hyper empathetic and wouldn’t therefore dismiss you with “people change.” Autistics try their absolute best not to offend/hurt others.Your ex husband displayed zero empathy and even tried to justify his callousness with his dismissive comment…this reads as a very cold NPD.
Do We Need to Hit the Like Button with a Hammer to Make it Bigger??
LoL
Very Grateful and Yes I Agree the Inauthenticity of the "Love Bombing" My Fam of Origin is what Made me Feel Gross to Witness or Be Subjected to and Subsequently Feeling Personally Inauthentic For Acting Like You are Not Disgusted about it...