My son's empathy was one of the big reasons that I was mistakenly convinced long ago that he couldn't be autistic. Knowing as I now do that he and I are actually both autistic (as are other people I know), I recognize that many autistic people are highly empathetic, but may not express empathy in the ways that neurotypical people expect.
I feel that it is the double empathy problem that makes me “not being empathic”. And then I start to wonder, who are then the one that “lack” empathy? NTs or NDs?
Also, it seems many professionals don't distinguish between different types of empathy. Many autists who are considered non-empathetic may have low affective empathy and be generally non-expressive but can be very high in cognitive empathy and have a high sense of justice - I think they are the ones who often run into the double empathy problem. Then you can have autists who have high affective empathy, get easily smitten with someone's emotions, but could even have low cognitive empathy and struggle to understand someone's emotions and thoughts and even their own. And then you can have autists who have high affective empathy and cognitive empathy, and even then NTs will struggle to understand them because they feel so much deeper and understand everything more complexly than they can, and so they tell them they're oversensitive, overanalyze and overthink everything. And of course, you can even have autists who have low affective and cognitive empathy but who still care about being a good and fair person. Empathy is a very complex topic and clearly not very well understood by professionals and "experts". "Low empathy" often just translates in NT "expert" eyes as "I can't understand this person, so there must be something wrong with them" and not adhering to the NT social hierarchy is practically a crime to them. They never care much about understanding what's going on on the inside of an autist's mind.
I agree with the last comment! When I got my diagnosis( late diagnosed at 66), I also have 2 adult kids that are Autistic. I shared my diagnosis with 2 family members and tried to explain it. But the more I explained, the more the persons weren't interested to really know what it was all about. Some of the responses were, " How can you be Autistic you seem like a nice person. How could you visit so and so last week but you said no when I asked you out for lunch? Another question " Why would you want to know your Autistic? I had already said that I understood myself more, and life made more sense looking back and looking forward. I also explained that there was more to Autism then being social or not. The family member no longer talks to me. My counselor said, " You are going to have to let people go who don't understand or support you in your journey! Like the last comment said, some people, even families, don't want to learn or understand it. It's like a disease or mental illness to them. Even though I stated it wasn't. I just have a brain that thinks differently. It's sad and makes things that much harder as I move through life unmasking and discovering" Who I am." What do I need instead of always pleasing everyone else so I can be liked. As we all know, either way, people pleasing or trying to find yourself, you can't win with some people.
Another strength i experience is deep, deep involvement and appreciation of art, ideas, nature, the hearts of others, the divine, etc. This can be experienced even to the point of what you might call ecstasy
I didn’t realize that seeing the end result in advance was pattern recognition! My dad always tells me I see things 15 steps further down the road, and I can see it almost instantly when a statement is made or an idea is proposed. It’s very frustrating that others don’t see it, but it’s also useful in some scenarios 😊
It's like having the "sight", but most people don't want to listen, and so you end up just watching your predictions come true like an inevitable trainwreck and utter under your breath "I told you so"
same. and being able to think out different paths for ideas/choices before starting. when others are just like "let's just start and do it", but I need to "think it through" and make a plan for the "path" to take.
Yes I always ticked no to pattern recognition because I thought that they meant literally seeing patterns in puzzles etc. I do the same thing, someone proposes something and I can say all the issues that they are going to encounter if they do it the way that they propose. Back when I used to work my manager would tell me that I am being negative about things and if I am going to bring up issues then I should also bring up solutions. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that for me and you would think that they would be grateful to know in advance the issues that they will encounter, turns out no they don't.
I'm a Risk Manager and this is an excellent skill set for this job. Part of the job is predicting what the possible risk and issues are for a given choice. Very useful.
I also feel that writing is one of my strengths as an autistic person-it is so much easier for me to communicate my thoughts to others when I have time to really consider my words and how they are perceived. I’ve realized this is a function of my autism since I am so often awkward in actual conversations/spoken communication is very difficult for me. But I’ve used this strength to my advantage in so many work settings.
Definitely! I can say things in writing that I can seem to say in speech. And I have so often had others say, "That's just how I feel but could never say it."
I am exactly the same way. I've had so many conversations with work colleagues where people want to "talk on the phone" or over Teams. I get it--email can bog you down. But I would SO MUCH rather write it out than talk it out. I often say things that I regret saying; rarely does that happen in writing.
100% me 😀 I can´t take the phone, calling and chatting....before I call someone, even its the doctor for an appointment, I write possible talking points down and it ends in a flowchart of an A4 paper size 😅
For me feeling ok in aloneness comes super easy. When covid pandemy started many neurotypicals felt super alone for the first time experiencing isolation from external activities but it did not feel so bad in my case.
The relief of having all the social obligations gone made me realize that I perceive the world differently than most. I think the pandemic was an eye opener for many people on the spectrum.
The pandemic was my guilty pleasure, I loved the quiet and the empty streets. Whenever I had to get out, my anxiety was super low for once. And having my face covered and not feel stared down was real nice too. Everyone was sad about the restrictions, but I could finally breathe.
@@dorotheakenneweg For me at least. To be fair, part of it was that my son started going through the diagnostic process around that time, so I read up on autism a lot more. Also, I realized how much I didn't miss being around people all the time - I kind of loved just being at home. I also realized I had pretty much been masking as an extravert most of my life, when I was actually an introvert.
1 strong sense of justice seeing inequalities, unable to move forward until corrected. 2 pattern recognition in systems & relationships 3 connection to animals stronger than people. 4 Active listening perspectives, before contributing 5 high levels of empathy 6 enjoys researching topics of interest 7 creates routines and structures that maximize work efficiency and at home 8 self awareness-aware that & try to figure out how we think differently. Thank you Taylor!! This is such an amazing chanel. I've never felt so much like there actually ARE others like me out there... I'm living a realy isolated life stumbling into relationships with those who have taken advantage of these disabilities of mine... much love 💘 ❤ 💗
I always felt like could sense the emotions other people in the room are feeling. Also with the pets, sometimes think I understand them better than humans.
That's a big part of why I have always hated being in crowded places. It's like you can feel everybody's emotions washing over you. Yuck! And I have always had a way with animals too. Their thought processes are more direct and sensical. Also, pets who "don't like strangers" or "are afraid of men" always seem to connect with me right away.
My theory is, the reason we listen so closely and you might even say scramble viscerally to sort out what's happening on multiple levels, and where it's likely to go (also comparing it similar situations, cross-referencing it with our memories and previous perceptions, hence the pattern-recognition), is what I consider the essence of autism, which I call matrixlessness. The whole thing about "nobody gave me the script," not knowing the game plan, that whole "this is the first time I've ever done this" when it's the millionth time you've done it (like the supermarket run), even stuff like proso... that thing where you don't recognize faces (in me it's works out this way: I think I know EVERYBODY), it all comes down, my perception tells me, to an essential matrixlessness. The absence of a core matrix for the surrounding world means we're continually at a loss, constantly startled, repeatedly challenged to negotiate and maneuver our way through an "alien" world even when it's the world we've been in for 40, 50, 60 or more years. Because that world simply NEVER settles into a fixed INTERNAL "matrix" for us. There's no inner image corresponding to the outer one, thus the outer one is perpetually something in some way, to some degree, a leap into the unknown. Paradoxically it forces us to learn patterns (perhaps we're learning patterns INSTEAD of a "matrix"?) that nobody else around us seems to pay attention to. So many times I've bitten my tongue, because I don't want to come off as either a cynic or know-it-all, but I've just known that some program or idea was a no-go (or, sorry to say, even a marriage) because the pattern was screamingly obvious and "doesn't anybody else see where this is going?"
Oh wow. I just had a flash of a childhood memory of being told “Nobody cares just what YOU think. People care what many people think.” I think it was my dad trying to explain eccentricity and how it’s not exactly wise to let your freak flag fly in front of any and everyone. Maybe even most. I have such early (3yo?) and distinct memories of knowing my sorting matrix didn’t match much of anyone’s really outside of my immediate family or if it did match, invariably those matching people were equally ostracized and “othered” or even moreso than myself. Then the empathy brain train chugging along to “Why can’t everyone just default to being kind anyway?” 😊
that first one, I'm struggling to even exist, injustice everywhere, i can't just ignore it or pretend I don't see it, I don't just keep quiet like others do yet it makes me appear troublesome cos I"m always fighting or lobbying.
Being the one person to speak up in a staff meeting about what everyone is talking about. I think the bosses should know and they should be grateful someone, me, is willing to say it. There is quiet thanks in the women’s restroom or hallway. I always wondered what is wrong with my colleagues that they never say what they are thinking?!!
Struggling to exist. My cptsd triggered too much to do anything about the injustice... and because its mine. I can research my stuff and know what i need, and problem solve for others, but not take any actions for me, and no more than text others now. Since the return to work post covid, Feeling like a single gear that flew off a previously well working engine that is going nowhere until somebody else steps in with the right tools, ability and wisdom how to fix it so it doesn't happen again. I'll intuitively feel it before they start helping that it won't work right.. But I may not be aware of it or why it won't work yet.
My autistic ass has just realised that “seeing patterns” doesn’t mean, literal patterns. . I see patterns In the grains on my floorboards or the cork tiles in the bathroom for example, paradolia, I believe . But I literally allways assumed that was what “seeing patterns” reffered too. Oh my 😂😂😂
For sure, I recently learned that it wasn't literal patterns. I always ticked no because I thought that was what they were talking about. Now that I know what they mean the answer is yes I do that all the time and can see the potential issues when someone is proposing to do something a specific way.
Great point…! I find this to be one of the main reasons why taking tests independently is a bad practice that may lead to misdiagnosis. Most of us need clarifications constantly due to our hiperrealism (literal thinking).
@ Wouldn't have helped me, the person who did my assessment just sent me all the tests electronically to do at home with a send at the end of the quiz so that it went back to them to mark.
@@saranavarro1880 Yes. Good point. A very subtle distinction between the connotations of a word on most autism questionnaires and diagnostic criteria prevented me - until a few weeks ago, at the grand age of 37 - from realising I was autistic this whole time... When asked if I "struggle with small talk" or if I "struggle with social situations or making friends", I always said no because I was very good at it. But I didn't consider how costly and exhausting socialising was. But a lot of that was the masking and the vibrating dissociation that comes with it. I think masking is a term that actually think makes it harder for autistic adults to understand ourselves as we think more literally about the deception of a mask and maybe feel more guilt about that. For me, masking feels more like trying harder than other people to be good and fair and helpful. Perhaps part of it is the lack of self-worth and self-confidence others have from better self-understanding. So we always have to people please to deserve anything good. It's like having additional gears on your cars: rather than stopping at 5 or 6, like most cars, it goes up to 20th gear, but on the same shitty little engine. Masking is more like the extra effort we go to. Perhaps this more a problem for me personally and I'm projecting?
ANIMALS! Totally get this one. But there's also this constant back-and-forth with me and our family pets where it's like, "I love you and totally understand you and appreciate you, but leave me alone!" It's like a battle between my desire to connect with them and my demand avoidance when they want my affection 😐 ...come to think of it, it's like that with my wife and kids, too. ...and anyone who tries to be my friend. ...and my past friends. ...and people.
The hyper empathy and organizational skills really ring a bell. People around me keep mocking me how much more capable I can be in setting up a complex process or predicting outcomes, than following my own simple to do list! The level of empathy is simply debilitating… and also one of the largest misconceptions in autism.
Something that often comes easily to me is what I think others might call patience. I would call it “so busy in my own head that I don’t need to be entertained or distracted.”
I am not diagnosed yet, but I relate to most of the things you spoke about. I am 57 and start now to find out what my real strength is, who I really am and how I can profit from my strength.
I am super good and shunting emotions to the side in crisis situations to deal with later. My brain will start building action steps to take almost immediately keeping me focused on what I need to do next.
Me too. Big aftershock in Chch when my brothers family was visiting, sister-in-law started to scream, so I grabbed her toddler and ran to the doorway to shelter, calmly telling the panicking adults to do the same. It was a bit of an eye opener as I was alone in the big one... had no idea my reaction was weird. I try really hard to not get cross when people panic first now (i just don't see how it helps). I don't need to dismiss their emotions (like mine are often diminished!) too.
Yeah they don't panic on purpose. I was surprised in one emergency how my brain just stopped working. When the event was over it was obvious what I should have done, but I was very afraid that my dog was lost or hurt and had to reason thru how to find her in the woods. My brother, also autistic, was with me and he does not have that effect at all... totally calm and reasoned in an emergency. However, it also wasn't his dog ! I did better in an earthquake. 😅 I got under my desk at work, everybody else ran out the building... either the right thing to do was easy enough to remember, or I wasn't scared enough for my brain to deactivate!
Sorry, one more thing I've noticed about us.. the parents of autistic children support pages have EXTREMELY detailed responses when a member asks for help. The comments are usually so extremely long bc many of us are also on the spectrum & love to share derailed information about a subject we have experienced ❤
YES!! This is so true about comments within this community, as well. Other content creators have commented on how LONG and detailed comments are within the autistic community. Very interesting to me.
I totally relate to this video! One thing I would add is that in social situations or family interactions or just any ordinary situation I can immediately spot any detail that is incorrect or out of place or an error of some kind. I think this is closely related to noticing patterns and predicting outcomes. But if it’s a minor thing I try not to mention it to others as I’ve been accused of being overly critical even though I did not mean it that way at all. In my mind I was being helpful. This attention to detail and spotting errors did help me in my job though so I think it’s a positive thing but often others do not.
Self awareness and empathy were the most relatable to me. Although, every time I dive more deeply into myself, I realise I’m not as self aware as I thought. But that’s how you keep growing in that regard. I feel like I’ve probably done more self reflection, aged 19, than some people ever will in their lives.
I also can see pattern to predict the future. Though good at avoiding problems, some things disproportionately stress me out. For example, when my kids are doing art projects. I can foresee all the spills and stains and mess. It makes me SUPER anxious to watch them doing crafts. My wife has to be the one to do art projects with them because I get too stressed out about them.
Hey Taylor! I wanted to thank you for all of the things that you do! My fiance and I are both late-diagnosed...she just turned 40 and I am 57...and we have both learned of our autism in the last few years. Anni and I have watched many of your videos together and paused them and discussed them as we watched! Anni is Finnish and as a 'rabbit-hole' for you to go down, you might want to look into Finnish culture. I love in there when I am visiting (Hopefully moving there soon!)...there is virtually no small talk...it just isn't part of their culture and all of the public transportation is clean and very quiet! Again, Thank you for everything that you do for the Autistic community! You are doing Great! Keep it up!!! :)
Bingo! The “over developed need for justice”, as my kids say, has been the cornerstone of my existence since my time began! …but, the big picture issue has always been a struggle for me at work, too…again, “the negative one” in the group…etc., but I’ve always seen “the result”, long before it occurs. I’m not sure it’s patterns that are affecting this, but intuition and the ability to be unfettered by distractions helps me to “see things” ahead. I was writing this as I was listening to the video, because the first one really hit home, but all of these are right on for me. Validation is always nice. ☺️
I vibe with all of those! I’m AuDHD. Two things that feel related to my neurodivergence are being very good at finding the most efficient way to accomplish a task (ah, but if you use these keyboard shortcuts, you can do this thing in half the amount of time as you could with a mouse!) and being very good at explaining things to people with varying levels of understanding of some situation or issue (it’s easy for me to come at a topic from multiple angles to find the best one for my audience.)
Efficiency and precision 😂😂😂 my partner gets so frustrated with me for being like this. Saying "precision" with the knife hand has become a running joke in our household. Question. Does the efficiency thing ever cause task paralysis for you? I think it's my ADHD getting in the way, but sometimes I get stuck because I can't do things in the most efficient way or order so I don't do anything at all. This is obviously far worse than not doing something the most efficient way. My logic brain says "just do the thing" but the anxiety won't let me.
@@AnatoleMeliae yes! Absolutely I’ve been unable to start a task because I can’t figure out the “best” way to execute it. Super frustrating when that happens. I think it’s one of the reasons that deadlines are one of the things I rely on to break my inertia, because I’m finally forced to just start the thing even if I’m not “ready” to do so.
Most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life is act normal so everyone around me is more comfortable lol. My love for animals is ineffable. I woke one morning to find over thirty animals in my yard, blew my mind all day, rabbits raccoons dogs cats and 2 horses ! lol
The sense of justice and the pattern recognition is causing me a lot of problems at work right now. Decisions have been made that make no sense at all, and I can see the possible outcomes this will bring and it’s not good. But my input is not wanted or appreciated, and I have absolutely no say in it. It’s so much more difficult accepting decisions when the reasoning isn’t sound.
This is so hard. I've almost lost several jobs because of it, my brain would just not let it go so I could put my head down and do the socially expected thing even though I knew there would be negative consequences. No advice or platitudes, I just feel this so much and I'm sorry its happening to you right now. (I also know this is a projection since I obviously don't know you or your employer but I am 100% certain that you are right about whatever it is.)
Same with me. Having issues with my boss at work that no one else gets. Sense of justice is huge for me and my daughter who is autistic. She’s 16 and wants me diagnosed as she’s convinced I’m autistic. After this video I agree even more. Possibly a diagnosis would make my work take notice.
I had a lot issues at work due to these feelings, which I now realise link to being autistic. Now that I know what's going on, it doesn't change the way I feel, but I can funnel myself into 'this is not something I can control nor influence' as a business skill - which helps me dial it down.
Thank you so much for this video! I have all of these traits, and I had no idea they were associated with autism. I am 57 and just recently self-diagnosed myself as autistic. I became interested in autism after 2 nephews and my niece's son were diagnosed with autism. It made me think that it might run in the family. I started doing research, which led me to your UA-cam channel. I cannot express how helpful your channel has been for me. My autistic characteristics are quite different than my nephews and my sister's grandson, who is 6 years old and non-verbal. So if I were to tell someone in my family that I thought I was autistic, I'm sure they would think I was crazy. Thank you so much for sharing your experience so that people like me can have a better understanding of autism and how it might look in a female or in an adult. As for the list of things that come easily to you as an Autistic Adult, I resonate with all of them! I have always, since I was a child, had a strong bond with animals, had a strong sense of justice (and a difficult time ignoring what I believe to be injustice), and always see patterns in things. I love to research and study things and still, even at 57 years old, have a curious mind and love to learn new things. These traits make me a little different than most of my friends, family, and coworkers, but these are things that I love about myself!
Yes! Ty! Also sensitivity to light is fun bc I can see in the dark (even if I got major wrinkles from squinting all my life ha) and my fingers have “eyes” as in I find things, in my purse say, quicker with my fingers than if I look with my eyes. Idk if relatable here. I love finding others “like me” even if only thru interwebs. It’s wild how it’s coming out that we really were right all along ;) The sense of justice is causing much stress and suffering for me, especially recently. Perhaps it’s helping me tho, bc I feel passionate for people to be heard and taken seriously and I’d like to be a part of changing things for the better too ❤
Why did I never think of connecting my sensitivity to light and my ability to see in the dark... 😮 It's obvious, once you think about it. Maybe those things just never happen close enough for me to have thought about it.
I didn't realize I'm autistic until age 71, after retirement. I've learned so much from your videos, and this one had me nodding my head all the way through. I'm still discovering all the ways being autistic affected my life!
I'm totally embracing my differences now, self diagnosed but wholly.... I am amazed and look at my life differently and my super power... yet was horrible prior... life full of bullying, no friends and abusive relationships. Now I'm taking back my life and embracing my authenticity
Yes to all of these strengths! Resonating with animals FOR SURE. My mother tells the story of when I was three and told her that I had actually been born a kitten and didn't know what had happened. One other thing that comes super easily to me with an autistic brain (and maybe others too!) is that the combo of pattern recognition, research, and empathy makes it really easy and fun for me to get into the headspace of characters who aren't anything like me. So things like writing fiction, acting, roleplaying games, anything like that have always come really naturally to me. (And because unknowingly masking so hard for so many years means that I feel as though I'm just playing a character of myself all the time anyway, the characters I write/portray feel nearly as valid as my regular persona. 😂) Thank you for posting this lovely, validating video! You made my day. 💖
This is super interesting! One of my friend's kids starting telling his teachers he was a dog and he refuses to talk, only act in dog behaviors. Also love what you're saying about how your strengths also help you tap into different characters. Love it!
ooooh samesies, friend! I just got a buncha 8-foot tall bookshelves and it's sooo exciting and also sooo stressful! 🙃 You readin' anything interesting lately?
All of these resonate for me deeply. I almost didn't resonate with the one about routines, until you mentioned creating them is a skill, but following through is tough. I LOVE organizing and color-coding systems. Then, I struggle to commit to them. 😬 Anyone else?
I've often thought I was "in my own head" too much. It was hard to explain, but I felt self-focused, yet not self-ish. I like selfism. I thought maybe it was a lonely 80's only child thing. But ever since I've learned more about Autism I've realized that it's probably related. I never thought of it as self-aware because I thought that meant you had your stuff all figured out. I always felt so 'self-confused' and assumed I was not self-aware.
I love your channel. I haven't been diagnosed, but everything I hear people say, I relate to. I took the autism test and it told me I'm a high functioning Autistic. It was such A relief. Before, I just thought I was a freak. As a child, I became self conscious. I couldn't understand why people didn't see the things that I naturally saw. Like, pattern recognition. Thank you for your videos.
This is SO helpful, Taylor! Very validating. Another strength: the ability to think in images. This can manifest as explaining things using examples, images and metaphors. I think part of the reason why this happens is because of our hyperrealism: images are a shortcut to having all the details we need. We need details because we see individual elements before we see the big picture… and we NEED all of these elements in order to see the big picture. I feel this is the reason why I often prefer to have or give an example than having to describe forever or ask a lot of questions in order to “paint” the whole picture in my mind.
This is spot on. Except the management disregards my educated predictions and doesn't remember I even brought it up, no matter what kind of stink I make.
I just got diagnosed yesterday. Your channel and other channels like yours have helped me. My best friend suggested I was autistic a couple of years ago. I deep dived into it, got tested, and was officially diagnosed yesterday at 29.
Undiagnosed, testing scheduled for next week. Sometimes I think I am, sometimes I think I am not, but I identify with almost every point you brought up here. Thank you for doing what you do!
All of these conpletely resonate with me. The pattern recognition asoect really comes in useful also for reading body language for unsaid things, as well as the listening aspect for detecting hidden agendas. I could always tell when a colleague was pregnant or when they were planning on leaving before they'd said anything. The conceot that autistic people can't read between the lines is flawed; some of us do it very well.
Love this, I would add: total comfort with and ability to observe, understand, and seamlessly integrate a huge amount of intricate detail (I see this as related to/synergistic with the pattern recognition thing, but I see it as its own thing). Or maybe more like: finding a lot of detail comforting and helpful rather than confusing or distressing. I do, um, miss the big picture sometimes, but I absolutely adore my detail orientation, and it benefits my family and myself directly all the time.
For my experience, I can handle understanding a great deal of detail... as long as the details are relevant. If I have a bunch of details in front of me and the task requires that I process it, I can usually find the answer quickly. The problem comes up when I'm looking for the answer and someone is asking me about something not immediately related to the task (but I feel that has more to do with transitions).
Empathy is what makes the people around me disbelieve my self diagnosis. Since I am superbly good at feeling emotions of others, to such a degree, that I can see their Burnout coming before they even know it, they think I can't be on the spectrum. People on the spectrum should have bad empathic, they say. So to hear from you, that you have the same trade and that you know many more people on the spectrum that have it, makes me super happy. Thank you.
Almost all of the list applies to me. I created my book and program for leaders based on what I now understand it my superpower of pattern recognition. When I was a lawyer, mediator and administrative law judge I could so clearly see the places the parties went off track. And it took until I retired for me to finally get it that what seemed obvious to me over my career wasn't at all obvious to most people in the workplace. Even judges and lawyers I respected. And my love of research was a bonus as a TV news anchor/reporter and then in my legal career. Finally, I'm an empath and lightworker.
This is a great list. I think I would add (in no particular order): 1. A gift for seeing meta-structures in human dynamics. And, yeah, kind of being surprised when other people can't. 2. I think that what sometimes gets coded by others as a lack of empathy is actually the ability to cut through the noise and static of ego to look at a situation very objectively. Like, In all of my careers, I have found great value in reviewing events and looking for what worked well, what was problematic, what appeared to be neutral, what may be unnecessary. I'm not interested in blame or punishment. I want to understand what happened and then integrate what can be learned from it so that we can continue to grow and improve. I experience the process as enriching, not threatening. 3. As a mental health clinician, I think that being autistic is really useful in my work to help clients understand how they make sense. (Pro tip: because how people are does make sense). This, in turn, dissolves shame and makes was for greater self-compassion and curiosity. 4. This one is more of an observation. I'm not sure it rises to the standard of being a trait. It seems to me that allistic people can tend to be more focused on insecurity masquerading as pride, blame, and punishment. These ideas don't appear to seem as relevant to autistic people. Accountability? Yes. Sure. But not an accompanying need to denigrate, humiliate, bully, shame, etc.
6 днів тому
That last point number 4, I believe it has to do with autistic people want righteousness and what’s fair, rather than revenge.
Everything you've listed is exactly what I would say about myself. I don't know about for others, but for me, there's so much comfort in that. Not that I need everyone to be the same. I have felt like an outsider my whole life, so it's just like a breath of fresh air to know there are others who operate similarly. Thank you as always Taylor for creating such an amazing community ♥
Beautiful. Self diagnosed. Totally relate and already noticed all of these in me. Remembering the trouble caused by my pointing out how things could be organised better after just arriving in a new team😂 Many years later, after I'd already moved on, they finally applied what I had suggested at the time 🤦♀️
I LOVE this video (and your channel!) and as a late-diagnosed autistic woman (last year, age 53) I agree with all of these strengths and benefits. For me, a big plus is that I get so much pleasure from connection in general, not just with animals but with the natural world and even the built environment. I see patterns and feel a deep connection there too. This is a spiritual experience for me. I believe some of us have a natural ability to connect in this way, and it’s an amazing benefit of being autistic. Thank you Taylor for creating such wonderful and affirming videos!
I really appreciated this. We spend so, so much time struggling against the problems created by living in a world not made for us. Most of the time, this is the overwhelming majority of the experience. Often, it's hard to even really think of any good from all of it. It's just life set to hard mode, and it's exhausting. It's so nice to just have a list of ideas for the good that comes from being wired different. Some of your ideas were ones I didn't even consciously connect to autism, but were obviously related once I thought about it. Some of these things are sources of some of the greatest joys in my life. Thank you!
This is so strange!! I have all of these. My ex boss used to say I am clairvoyant because I detect many things beforehand. Everything you said is me. Thank you so much for sharing.
Okay, pattern recognition is something I KNOW my brain does but it's hard for me to think of a specific example. You mentioned noticing people's mannerisms and behavior and that is SUCH an eye-opener. I notice people's typical responses and phrases, quirks, etc in a way that is SO ANNOYING to me and I never understood why I noticed that stuff so much. What a light bulb moment that this is indeed pattern recognition.
Literally described me !!! I love your videos I find them extremely helpful. Thank you . 52 & recently received my diagnosis. I ALWAYS knew I was different and videos like yours & some other Autistic youtubers helped me find the words to SAY what I was thinking & feeling. I then went & had my diagnosis appointments and I now feel complete. I'm finally part of a community where I fit in. Where others think & feel the same way I do. I love your videos & wanted you to know just how much you have helped me & continue to help me. Thank you ❤
One of the things I really excel at is lateral thinking, I'm really good at finding unexpected solutions to problems. I also have a very large general knowledge (because of my love of doing research; as mentioned in the video) so I'm able to access lots of information and make connections that other people just seem to miss.
@4:00 forget about the fancy features, that is just a straight up badass sleep mask. OMG didn't know you could blink with a sleep mask, that's awesome!!!
Thank you for this great video! Your list is a good conversation starter and did help me to change the way I perceive myself unconsciously. I have a delusional self esteem that seems to be tied chronically to negative feedbacks from my environment and struggle with accepting compliments. In a twisted way, I would argue, that my brain is both my best ally and my worst adversary. Perceiving myself over my strengths is not easy. I will try to complete my "AuDHDer list of Things that come easily to me" this time: 1.) Asking the right questions to trigger an interested brain in finding new solutions or developing great ideas. 2.) Sharing my perspective in a way, that invites others to combine their own information on a certain topic related to autism with a new personal experience from an autistic adult. 3.) Treating people around me with a baseline of friendliness, kindness and an open-mind, that I wished where part of NTs social norms. 4.) Regardless of the power dynamics treat others including pets with respect as living beings/follow human beings. 5.) Not letting hierarchies at work or at collage cloud my judgement about "safe people" or "sound places". 6.) Trying to understand and being compassionate with children, elders and generally disabled persons. 7.) Having not a strong guilt about me not fulfilling unspoken expectations of an environment. 8.) Not letting others push me at work or in my private life to obediently follow their strict timelines and instead evolving on my own. 9.) Trusting my gut feeling, if a person or a place is "safe and sound" for me without having to mask constantly on my part. 10.) Being fundamentally trusting towards the good core of people I actively chose to have in my life. 11.) Reflecting myself unconsciously everyday and only realising this process after / while talking with others to a related topic. 12.) Pushing my limits and boundaries out of pure curiosity, even if I temporarily feel negative effects from that decision. I would probably add some items (phrases) to the list above, but it's definitely past my normal bedtime and my sleep schedule is already messed up, as it is. Keep moving, believe in yourself and trust your instincts! Thank you for sharing so openly your own journey and open yourself up to theoretical criticism!
3:00 I've been told I should be a therapist for the straightforward questions I ask. I will hear someone explain a story about their life, gather inferences, and ask meaningful questions
As an AuDHD therapist with a PhD in clinical psychology, you most definitely can be a therapist. There are lots of challenges, but you can do it. The two things I would start with is building good boundaries to prevent burnout and developing self compassion because it might tape you years longer than your peers to complete the training. It did for me.
@DrPsychlops wow, thank you for the encouragement! I really don't know if I want to immerse myself in so much education to actually pursue it, but I'm really happy to know that it it's possible, and that it has happened 😁💕
Hope I got the right video. You said something about "Separating personal from work." I had never had an issue with that, but then I realized from listening to your video that I have made a huge effort to keep that separate. Personal from Work. I don't like bringing romantic partners or family to work events.
Before I retired, I supervised an ASD employee. Most of her co-workers did not get along with her and it was a bewildering experience for me AT FIRST. Once I recognized what why she was different, the clouds parted and I really appreciated having her there for the perspective she had and the enrichment in my life. Always keep in mind that ASD is on a sliding scale and we can help the ASD person manage their world through compassion, patience, acceptance and understanding. ASD is a two-way gift!
I'm a fixer. I fix problems and also broken things. I can always figure out a way to improve a situation. I'm also a great diplomat. I am great at making people feel good about themselves, even while communicating a problem I am extremely resourceful And I can make things and build things without instructions or patterns
I checked off every item on your list.And thank you so much for giving the etymology of the word "autistic." This is probably the main reason I have been mistaken for a narcissist so much.
I've had several people comment on my degree of self-awareness! Including therapists. Introspection comes naturally to me. And I'm always analyzing/trying to understand everything - including myself. Empathy is interesting because there are different types. My mom "feels other people's emotions" - she has very high emotional/affective empathy. I don't have much affective empathy, but I DO have very high cognitive empathy - as well as compassion, which I consider more important, since compassion is (or can be) a choice.
Pattern recognition is definitely my strength. As a kid, I often annoyed my father as I kind of always knew when he was doing something in a wrong way. I anticipate dangerous situations in traffic way earlier than others, love to organize stuff, especially when packing the company car with our equipment. Now, thinking of it, everything I did in my life kind of revolved around this. I studied chemistry and now part of my job is to actually look for errors
100% 😊 Especially the animal thing & the Empath thing. WHICH, if you combine those together, it explains why out of the different types of Empaths that there are, I think I'm an Animal Empath 😇
I think this video was very helpful! This things I have been thinking of myself, but thought of it just traits of my personality. I really like the way these things can be put in the autistic "system", that I have in my brain. There is so much focus on the negative sides of autism, because the health system wants to find ways to help. And then you need to focus on what's hard. But there is so much help in focusing on what comes easy as well. We cannot just skip that part. It creates the whole picture. And as an autistic human, I really need to see the whole picture to understand. Love to you❤️
This whole list is so on point! I'm self-diagnosed autistic and professionally diagnosed ADHD (before DSM-5) and watching you perfectly articulate these experiences is like watching myself in a mirror. Thank you so much for putting it into words!
Taylor, the way you can articulate like everything about me so much better than I can even do it myself never ceases to amaze me! I feel like you are always talking about me not you when you say these things lol I am so glad I found you when I did and the last 2.5 years have been such a different experience of living my life with a sense of understanding that I never knew before despite how hard I worked and understanding every single thing ever lol
Identifying dangerous people, situations, even areas before something bad happens. You could call it intuition but I think it is sensory input, awareness, pattern recognition. Saved me from a human predator in the woods as a teen.
Me to but didn't no I was autistic then we were chased a mile my friend didn't see him luckily for him to I have extra senses he was arrested for serious crimes after that.i was 14
Hiya Taylor, your videos have explained things so well and I feel like I understand myself more than ever before during my self diagnosis journey (and hopefully official in the future), so thank you!! I only wish I could have learnt it sooner than at 32 years old but I am so glad we have all these resources now. A little story that proved to myself that I have autism is what happened while I was in austic burnout five months ago when my smell sensitivity super ability saved my family and my neighbours when I smelt a gas leak before everyone else. The gas engineer said he couldnt smell it but any leak is serious so they got a specialist company to investigate and they used a special tool to detect it. They eventually found it was leaking outside, it was coming up the pipe sleeve into our house which meant they had to dig up the garden and replace the mains pipes but I felt like if I hadn't smelt the leak that day enough of a gas build up could have sparked causing an explosion which could have taken out our house or even the street. This is something I try to remind myself when I know Im struggling with autistic burnout again and can barerly function. I can't always do everything I need to do but when the time comes I can do something truly amazing. And so can we all with our strengths, being able to benefit our life and the lives of others around us with empathy, pattern recognition, our heightened sensitivities, etc
Of all the autistic presenters on UA-cam, I think you are the one with whom I most identify. I think that, although I might not seem organized to other people, I'm very mentally organized. I'm good at planning (and not always good at following through). I can get quite a lot done in a short amount of time. However, when stressed I tend to get tunnel vision and block out things that might distract me from accomplishing my goals, which isn't always a good thing. I can't be very spontaneous under those circumstances. I remember how awed I was when I realized one woman I knew could start something, let a group plan it, and carry on even if the group changed the end goal!! Whoa!
I can relate to this so much, especially my strong sense of justice. It’s also why I have needed to have my own business. My love of animals is huge and I’ll go to someone’s house and their cats or dogs immediately come to me and just hang out. My own cats are always near me. I’m a psychologist that does therapy with other neurodivergent people.
As part of pattern recognition, I find that I am excellent at the huge picture (as you said, the result of going down a certain path) and the tiniest of multiple details (all the little parts of context). I mentally use both extremes working together for making decisions and developing processes. Over the years I have learned that most people do not think or function this way.
Loved this video. I'm recently diagnosed Autistic, with a pending adhd assessment. I'm 56. I've lived my life processing my experience through the lens of things like being psychic and an empath, finding comfort in the esoteric philosophies. I think the biggest thing that comes easy to me is my creativity. I am uncompromising on carving out my own unique path as an artist. My PDA profile is a brilliant BS detector and I can sniff out insincerity like a master. I sought understanding about how I see things through astrology (is it because I'm a Pisces moon lol) or through MyersBriggs personality testing (i'm an INFJ which literally mirrors Autistic criteria) and so many other ways, just to get to that level of self awareness needed to understand why I was very often isolated in a groupthink, bullied or manipulated by friendship groups or workplace politics. None of it could 'cure' me lol. I remain the same steadfast, bold, direct thinker and speaker, but now after menopause, and a lot of trauma healing, firstly I can see the Autism, and secondly I now couldn't care less what people think of me. I've untangled so many layers that masked it. But I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't have an intellectual disability to navigate and that confuses so many neurotypical people. Right now I'm nourishing myself with all the content I can find that embraces all the positives, since a deficit based diagnosis is pretty disempowering. Thanks for sharing this.
Connecting to animals: I really love when I can connect to humans the same way, on the same "channel". Wordless communication. I'm not sure those humans actually are aware of that connection, but I'm pretty certain they react to it. Just like they react to their cats and dogs, without really knowing how much is going on. This helps me massively in social situations. (I've always thought that this connection might be what christians mean with "love your neighbour")
Yeah, i sometimes feel like the empathy is the result of the need to mask as a kid in a neurotypical environment. The better you can tune into someones expectations, the more succesfull the masking. Becoming an empath is an essential skill needed for succesfull masking. Same for oppressing authentic feelings. They show in your face and bodylanguage and would mess up the mask. Edit: i stopped masking to please people, now i only mask when it makes my life easier. So much better!
Not only do I feel what those around me feel, I can put it into words and offer assistance to them in addressing problems, working out solutions, and helping them put it into action. However, I can’t easily do that for myself. It’s extremely frustrating. Thankfully as I have matured and learned more about myself, I have gotten better at identifying problems, labeling my emotions, and finding solutions. I often plug my story into one of a friend and approach it from the perspective of talking to a friend instead of thinking of myself and that helps me a lot. For example when my older son assaulted his minor brother, I didn’t immediately know how I felt nor could I decide how to proceed. I asked myself if this were anyone other than my son what would I advise and the answer was call the police, so that’s exactly what I did. There was a time I wouldn’t have been able to come to a conclusion that fast.
This resonated so much except for routines… I wish I had that ability. I’m abysmal at creating or sticking to any and it causes a lot of suffering. I’m autistic in all the ways but didn’t know it for a while because challenges with routines and ADHD is intense and that diagnosis came first
For me it's also - creative thinking outside the box - realizing that some social norms are stupid - good memory with specific things like hyperfixations
I received the diagnostic, but since I'm the 2e (or 3e), this have been a big salad of symptoms and sign(al)s! So, I sometimes doubt the diagnosis, because it is a bunch of stuff almost melt-blended. And yes, I was commenting while watching, this is so ADHD of me... 😂 I don't know if what I commented made sense, but I'm too exhausted to check; that's why I'm gonna trust my somehow intermediate fluency. And I guess this is a very neurodivergent comment.
My son's empathy was one of the big reasons that I was mistakenly convinced long ago that he couldn't be autistic. Knowing as I now do that he and I are actually both autistic (as are other people I know), I recognize that many autistic people are highly empathetic, but may not express empathy in the ways that neurotypical people expect.
Super strong empathy
I feel that it is the double empathy problem that makes me “not being empathic”. And then I start to wonder, who are then the one that “lack” empathy? NTs or NDs?
Also, it seems many professionals don't distinguish between different types of empathy. Many autists who are considered non-empathetic may have low affective empathy and be generally non-expressive but can be very high in cognitive empathy and have a high sense of justice - I think they are the ones who often run into the double empathy problem.
Then you can have autists who have high affective empathy, get easily smitten with someone's emotions, but could even have low cognitive empathy and struggle to understand someone's emotions and thoughts and even their own.
And then you can have autists who have high affective empathy and cognitive empathy, and even then NTs will struggle to understand them because they feel so much deeper and understand everything more complexly than they can, and so they tell them they're oversensitive, overanalyze and overthink everything.
And of course, you can even have autists who have low affective and cognitive empathy but who still care about being a good and fair person.
Empathy is a very complex topic and clearly not very well understood by professionals and "experts". "Low empathy" often just translates in NT "expert" eyes as "I can't understand this person, so there must be something wrong with them" and not adhering to the NT social hierarchy is practically a crime to them. They never care much about understanding what's going on on the inside of an autist's mind.
I agree with the last comment! When I got my diagnosis( late diagnosed at 66), I also have 2 adult kids that are Autistic. I shared my diagnosis with 2 family members and tried to explain it. But the more I explained, the more the persons weren't interested to really know what it was all about. Some of the responses were, " How can you be Autistic you seem like a nice person. How could you visit so and so last week but you said no when I asked you out for lunch? Another question " Why would you want to know your Autistic? I had already said that I understood myself more, and life made more sense looking back and looking forward. I also explained that there was more to Autism then being social or not. The family member no longer talks to me. My counselor said, " You are going to have to let people go who don't understand or support you in your journey! Like the last comment said, some people, even families, don't want to learn or understand it. It's like a disease or mental illness to them. Even though I stated it wasn't. I just have a brain that thinks differently. It's sad and makes things that much harder as I move through life unmasking and discovering" Who I am." What do I need instead of always pleasing everyone else so I can be liked. As we all know, either way, people pleasing or trying to find yourself, you can't win with some people.
@@ZeonGenesisAbsolutely brilliant! Thanks!
Another strength i experience is deep, deep involvement and appreciation of art, ideas, nature, the hearts of others, the divine, etc. This can be experienced even to the point of what you might call ecstasy
This. ❤
Beauty = Patterns in nature. More powerful pattern recognition = Deep appreciation of nature.
Yes! Autistic joy! For sure
Nature! ❤ When Taylor mentioned connection with animals, my mind went right to....watching birds! They make me giddy!
@@barbarawalker7122yes my alarm is birds chirping in the morning
I didn’t realize that seeing the end result in advance was pattern recognition! My dad always tells me I see things 15 steps further down the road, and I can see it almost instantly when a statement is made or an idea is proposed. It’s very frustrating that others don’t see it, but it’s also useful in some scenarios 😊
It's like having the "sight", but most people don't want to listen, and so you end up just watching your predictions come true like an inevitable trainwreck and utter under your breath "I told you so"
same. and being able to think out different paths for ideas/choices before starting. when others are just like "let's just start and do it", but I need to "think it through" and make a plan for the "path" to take.
I just thought it was me being sensitive and anxious-I feel like I can sense how someone’s comment is gonna go over with someone else.
Yes I always ticked no to pattern recognition because I thought that they meant literally seeing patterns in puzzles etc. I do the same thing, someone proposes something and I can say all the issues that they are going to encounter if they do it the way that they propose. Back when I used to work my manager would tell me that I am being negative about things and if I am going to bring up issues then I should also bring up solutions. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that for me and you would think that they would be grateful to know in advance the issues that they will encounter, turns out no they don't.
I'm a Risk Manager and this is an excellent skill set for this job. Part of the job is predicting what the possible risk and issues are for a given choice. Very useful.
I also feel that writing is one of my strengths as an autistic person-it is so much easier for me to communicate my thoughts to others when I have time to really consider my words and how they are perceived. I’ve realized this is a function of my autism since I am so often awkward in actual conversations/spoken communication is very difficult for me. But I’ve used this strength to my advantage in so many work settings.
Definitely! I can say things in writing that I can seem to say in speech. And I have so often had others say, "That's just how I feel but could never say it."
@@emilybacon3654 yes!
I am exactly the same way. I've had so many conversations with work colleagues where people want to "talk on the phone" or over Teams. I get it--email can bog you down. But I would SO MUCH rather write it out than talk it out. I often say things that I regret saying; rarely does that happen in writing.
100% me 😀 I can´t take the phone, calling and chatting....before I call someone, even its the doctor for an appointment, I write possible talking points down and it ends in a flowchart of an A4 paper size 😅
I also am better at writing than at speaking and I have a much wider vocabulary when writing, as words don't come to my mind quickly.
For me feeling ok in aloneness comes super easy. When covid pandemy started many neurotypicals felt super alone for the first time experiencing isolation from external activities but it did not feel so bad in my case.
In fact, the Pandemic felt no different than life before or after it!
Yes the lockdowns really affected me. 5 years later I self diagnoses
The relief of having all the social obligations gone made me realize that I perceive the world differently than most.
I think the pandemic was an eye opener for many people on the spectrum.
The pandemic was my guilty pleasure, I loved the quiet and the empty streets. Whenever I had to get out, my anxiety was super low for once. And having my face covered and not feel stared down was real nice too. Everyone was sad about the restrictions, but I could finally breathe.
@@dorotheakenneweg For me at least. To be fair, part of it was that my son started going through the diagnostic process around that time, so I read up on autism a lot more. Also, I realized how much I didn't miss being around people all the time - I kind of loved just being at home. I also realized I had pretty much been masking as an extravert most of my life, when I was actually an introvert.
1 strong sense of justice seeing inequalities, unable to move forward until corrected.
2 pattern recognition in systems & relationships
3 connection to animals stronger than people.
4 Active listening perspectives, before contributing
5 high levels of empathy
6 enjoys researching topics of interest
7 creates routines and structures that maximize work efficiency and at home
8 self awareness-aware that & try to figure out how we think differently.
Thank you Taylor!! This is such an amazing chanel. I've never felt so much like there actually ARE others like me out there... I'm living a realy isolated life stumbling into relationships with those who have taken advantage of these disabilities of mine... much love 💘 ❤ 💗
I have never felt so perfectly heard in my entire life.
I always felt like could sense the emotions other people in the room are feeling. Also with the pets, sometimes think I understand them better than humans.
HAVE their emotions from touch. Sometimes for a LONG time
That's a big part of why I have always hated being in crowded places. It's like you can feel everybody's emotions washing over you. Yuck! And I have always had a way with animals too. Their thought processes are more direct and sensical. Also, pets who "don't like strangers" or "are afraid of men" always seem to connect with me right away.
@nathanh6439 Yes, exactly. I hate crowds too.
Hear, hear sister! You just described me to a tee. I have a friend who is always telling me, "Quit noticing things!"
Yeah, some autistic people are hyper observant! And I know it can be exhausting 😅
YES!! The animal connection is real! Mine has been literally lifelong. 🥰
My theory is, the reason we listen so closely and you might even say scramble viscerally to sort out what's happening on multiple levels, and where it's likely to go (also comparing it similar situations, cross-referencing it with our memories and previous perceptions, hence the pattern-recognition), is what I consider the essence of autism, which I call matrixlessness. The whole thing about "nobody gave me the script," not knowing the game plan, that whole "this is the first time I've ever done this" when it's the millionth time you've done it (like the supermarket run), even stuff like proso... that thing where you don't recognize faces (in me it's works out this way: I think I know EVERYBODY), it all comes down, my perception tells me, to an essential matrixlessness. The absence of a core matrix for the surrounding world means we're continually at a loss, constantly startled, repeatedly challenged to negotiate and maneuver our way through an "alien" world even when it's the world we've been in for 40, 50, 60 or more years. Because that world simply NEVER settles into a fixed INTERNAL "matrix" for us. There's no inner image corresponding to the outer one, thus the outer one is perpetually something in some way, to some degree, a leap into the unknown. Paradoxically it forces us to learn patterns (perhaps we're learning patterns INSTEAD of a "matrix"?) that nobody else around us seems to pay attention to. So many times I've bitten my tongue, because I don't want to come off as either a cynic or know-it-all, but I've just known that some program or idea was a no-go (or, sorry to say, even a marriage) because the pattern was screamingly obvious and "doesn't anybody else see where this is going?"
🤯 really enjoy reading through your insight on this. thanks for your comment!
Oh wow. I just had a flash of a childhood memory of being told “Nobody cares just what YOU think. People care what many people think.” I think it was my dad trying to explain eccentricity and how it’s not exactly wise to let your freak flag fly in front of any and everyone. Maybe even most. I have such early (3yo?) and distinct memories of knowing my sorting matrix didn’t match much of anyone’s really outside of my immediate family or if it did match, invariably those matching people were equally ostracized and “othered” or even moreso than myself. Then the empathy brain train chugging along to “Why can’t everyone just default to being kind anyway?” 😊
@@MomontheSpectrum Thank you. 🙂
@@beautyactivist 🙂
@@carish1452 🙂
that first one, I'm struggling to even exist, injustice everywhere, i can't just ignore it or pretend I don't see it, I don't just keep quiet like others do yet it makes me appear troublesome cos I"m always fighting or lobbying.
Being the one person to speak up in a staff meeting about what everyone is talking about. I think the bosses should know and they should be grateful someone, me, is willing to say it. There is quiet thanks in the women’s restroom or hallway. I always wondered what is wrong with my colleagues that they never say what they are thinking?!!
Struggling to exist. My cptsd triggered too much to do anything about the injustice... and because its mine. I can research my stuff and know what i need, and problem solve for others, but not take any actions for me, and no more than text others now.
Since the return to work post covid, Feeling like a single gear that flew off a previously well working engine that is going nowhere until somebody else steps in with the right tools, ability and wisdom how to fix it so it doesn't happen again.
I'll intuitively feel it before they start helping that it won't work right.. But I may not be aware of it or why it won't work yet.
My autistic ass has just realised that “seeing patterns” doesn’t mean, literal patterns. . I see patterns In the grains on my floorboards or the cork tiles in the bathroom for example, paradolia, I believe . But I literally allways assumed that was what “seeing patterns” reffered too.
Oh my 😂😂😂
For sure, I recently learned that it wasn't literal patterns. I always ticked no because I thought that was what they were talking about. Now that I know what they mean the answer is yes I do that all the time and can see the potential issues when someone is proposing to do something a specific way.
Great point…! I find this to be one of the main reasons why taking tests independently is a bad practice that may lead to misdiagnosis. Most of us need clarifications constantly due to our hiperrealism (literal thinking).
@ Wouldn't have helped me, the person who did my assessment just sent me all the tests electronically to do at home with a send at the end of the quiz so that it went back to them to mark.
@@saranavarro1880 Yes. Good point. A very subtle distinction between the connotations of a word on most autism questionnaires and diagnostic criteria prevented me - until a few weeks ago, at the grand age of 37 - from realising I was autistic this whole time...
When asked if I "struggle with small talk" or if I "struggle with social situations or making friends", I always said no because I was very good at it. But I didn't consider how costly and exhausting socialising was. But a lot of that was the masking and the vibrating dissociation that comes with it. I think masking is a term that actually think makes it harder for autistic adults to understand ourselves as we think more literally about the deception of a mask and maybe feel more guilt about that. For me, masking feels more like trying harder than other people to be good and fair and helpful. Perhaps part of it is the lack of self-worth and self-confidence others have from better self-understanding. So we always have to people please to deserve anything good. It's like having additional gears on your cars: rather than stopping at 5 or 6, like most cars, it goes up to 20th gear, but on the same shitty little engine. Masking is more like the extra effort we go to. Perhaps this more a problem for me personally and I'm projecting?
ANIMALS! Totally get this one. But there's also this constant back-and-forth with me and our family pets where it's like, "I love you and totally understand you and appreciate you, but leave me alone!" It's like a battle between my desire to connect with them and my demand avoidance when they want my affection 😐
...come to think of it, it's like that with my wife and kids, too.
...and anyone who tries to be my friend.
...and my past friends.
...and people.
I have to put a body pillow between myself and the doggo or else she'll sleep on me and i can't sleep with someone touching me.
I can absolutely relate to what you wrote here!! Thank you for sharing!
(I’m Viviann. Not the picture at this profile, that’s my hubby)
The hyper empathy and organizational skills really ring a bell.
People around me keep mocking me how much more capable I can be in setting up a complex process or predicting outcomes, than following my own simple to do list!
The level of empathy is simply debilitating… and also one of the largest misconceptions in autism.
Something that often comes easily to me is what I think others might call patience. I would call it “so busy in my own head that I don’t need to be entertained or distracted.”
I am not diagnosed yet, but I relate to most of the things you spoke about. I am 57 and start now to find out what my real strength is, who I really am and how I can profit from my strength.
So glad you're here! I have other videos on autistic strengths as well. Feel free to check them out if you think they'd be helpful.
I am super good and shunting emotions to the side in crisis situations to deal with later. My brain will start building action steps to take almost immediately keeping me focused on what I need to do next.
I totally relate to this!
Me too. Big aftershock in Chch when my brothers family was visiting, sister-in-law started to scream, so I grabbed her toddler and ran to the doorway to shelter, calmly telling the panicking adults to do the same. It was a bit of an eye opener as I was alone in the big one... had no idea my reaction was weird. I try really hard to not get cross when people panic first now (i just don't see how it helps). I don't need to dismiss their emotions (like mine are often diminished!) too.
Yeah they don't panic on purpose. I was surprised in one emergency how my brain just stopped working. When the event was over it was obvious what I should have done, but I was very afraid that my dog was lost or hurt and had to reason thru how to find her in the woods. My brother, also autistic, was with me and he does not have that effect at all... totally calm and reasoned in an emergency. However, it also wasn't his dog !
I did better in an earthquake. 😅 I got under my desk at work, everybody else ran out the building... either the right thing to do was easy enough to remember, or I wasn't scared enough for my brain to deactivate!
*Takes notes for my resume*
Sorry, one more thing I've noticed about us.. the parents of autistic children support pages have EXTREMELY detailed responses when a member asks for help. The comments are usually so extremely long bc many of us are also on the spectrum & love to share derailed information about a subject we have experienced ❤
YES!! This is so true about comments within this community, as well. Other content creators have commented on how LONG and detailed comments are within the autistic community. Very interesting to me.
and just a few days ago I felt ashamed and thought about delete my comment, because it was way to long but still incorrect…
How wonderful to be here and have this spoken of as a STRENGTH!!! How often as a child was I scorned and insulted for specificity?! 😢
I totally relate to this video! One thing I would add is that in social situations or family interactions or just any ordinary situation I can immediately spot any detail that is incorrect or out of place or an error of some kind. I think this is closely related to noticing patterns and predicting outcomes. But if it’s a minor thing I try not to mention it to others as I’ve been accused of being overly critical even though I did not mean it that way at all. In my mind I was being helpful. This attention to detail and spotting errors did help me in my job though so I think it’s a positive thing but often others do not.
Self awareness and empathy were the most relatable to me. Although, every time I dive more deeply into myself, I realise I’m not as self aware as I thought. But that’s how you keep growing in that regard. I feel like I’ve probably done more self reflection, aged 19, than some people ever will in their lives.
I also can see pattern to predict the future. Though good at avoiding problems, some things disproportionately stress me out. For example, when my kids are doing art projects. I can foresee all the spills and stains and mess. It makes me SUPER anxious to watch them doing crafts. My wife has to be the one to do art projects with them because I get too stressed out about them.
For me, forseeing mess etc is what makes me prepare so that I don't have to stress about it.
Hey Taylor! I wanted to thank you for all of the things that you do! My fiance and I are both late-diagnosed...she just turned 40 and I am 57...and we have both learned of our autism in the last few years. Anni and I have watched many of your videos together and paused them and discussed them as we watched! Anni is Finnish and as a 'rabbit-hole' for you to go down, you might want to look into Finnish culture. I love in there when I am visiting (Hopefully moving there soon!)...there is virtually no small talk...it just isn't part of their culture and all of the public transportation is clean and very quiet! Again, Thank you for everything that you do for the Autistic community! You are doing Great! Keep it up!!! :)
Fascinating! Thanks for sharing - so glad you’re both part of the community.
Every single thing you spoke about here is ..."me too". Utterly and completely. It is such a comfort to hear it expressed. Thank you.
Bingo! The “over developed need for justice”, as my kids say, has been the cornerstone of my existence since my time began!
…but, the big picture issue has always been a struggle for me at work, too…again, “the negative one” in the group…etc., but I’ve always seen “the result”, long before it occurs. I’m not sure it’s patterns that are affecting this, but intuition and the ability to be unfettered by distractions helps me to “see things” ahead.
I was writing this as I was listening to the video, because the first one really hit home, but all of these are right on for me.
Validation is always nice. ☺️
I vibe with all of those! I’m AuDHD. Two things that feel related to my neurodivergence are being very good at finding the most efficient way to accomplish a task (ah, but if you use these keyboard shortcuts, you can do this thing in half the amount of time as you could with a mouse!) and being very good at explaining things to people with varying levels of understanding of some situation or issue (it’s easy for me to come at a topic from multiple angles to find the best one for my audience.)
Yes! Especially love what you're saying about explaining things at various levels of understanding. Thanks for sharing!
Efficiency and precision 😂😂😂 my partner gets so frustrated with me for being like this. Saying "precision" with the knife hand has become a running joke in our household.
Question. Does the efficiency thing ever cause task paralysis for you? I think it's my ADHD getting in the way, but sometimes I get stuck because I can't do things in the most efficient way or order so I don't do anything at all. This is obviously far worse than not doing something the most efficient way. My logic brain says "just do the thing" but the anxiety won't let me.
@@AnatoleMeliae yes! Absolutely I’ve been unable to start a task because I can’t figure out the “best” way to execute it. Super frustrating when that happens. I think it’s one of the reasons that deadlines are one of the things I rely on to break my inertia, because I’m finally forced to just start the thing even if I’m not “ready” to do so.
@@CoreenMontagna I'm going to have to try setting deadlines for myself. That might actually work. Thanks!
@ only works for me if the deadline is imposed by someone else, but good luck!
Most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life is act normal so everyone around me is more comfortable lol. My love for animals is ineffable. I woke one morning to find over thirty animals in my yard, blew my mind all day, rabbits raccoons dogs cats and 2 horses ! lol
The best profile of autistic persona ever!!! Works 100% for me!! And my sister, and my friends!!!
The sense of justice and the pattern recognition is causing me a lot of problems at work right now. Decisions have been made that make no sense at all, and I can see the possible outcomes this will bring and it’s not good. But my input is not wanted or appreciated, and I have absolutely no say in it. It’s so much more difficult accepting decisions when the reasoning isn’t sound.
This is so hard. I've almost lost several jobs because of it, my brain would just not let it go so I could put my head down and do the socially expected thing even though I knew there would be negative consequences. No advice or platitudes, I just feel this so much and I'm sorry its happening to you right now. (I also know this is a projection since I obviously don't know you or your employer but I am 100% certain that you are right about whatever it is.)
Yes, that injustice part-I want everyone included and everyone treated equally.
Same with me. Having issues with my boss at work that no one else gets. Sense of justice is huge for me and my daughter who is autistic. She’s 16 and wants me diagnosed as she’s convinced I’m autistic. After this video I agree even more. Possibly a diagnosis would make my work take notice.
I had a lot issues at work due to these feelings, which I now realise link to being autistic. Now that I know what's going on, it doesn't change the way I feel, but I can funnel myself into 'this is not something I can control nor influence' as a business skill - which helps me dial it down.
Thank you so much for this video! I have all of these traits, and I had no idea they were associated with autism.
I am 57 and just recently self-diagnosed myself as autistic. I became interested in autism after 2 nephews and my niece's son were diagnosed with autism. It made me think that it might run in the family. I started doing research, which led me to your UA-cam channel. I cannot express how helpful your channel has been for me. My autistic characteristics are quite different than my nephews and my sister's grandson, who is 6 years old and non-verbal. So if I were to tell someone in my family that I thought I was autistic, I'm sure they would think I was crazy. Thank you so much for sharing your experience so that people like me can have a better understanding of autism and how it might look in a female or in an adult.
As for the list of things that come easily to you as an Autistic Adult, I resonate with all of them! I have always, since I was a child, had a strong bond with animals, had a strong sense of justice (and a difficult time ignoring what I believe to be injustice), and always see patterns in things. I love to research and study things and still, even at 57 years old, have a curious mind and love to learn new things. These traits make me a little different than most of my friends, family, and coworkers, but these are things that I love about myself!
Yes! Ty! Also sensitivity to light is fun bc I can see in the dark (even if I got major wrinkles from squinting all my life ha) and my fingers have “eyes” as in I find things, in my purse say, quicker with my fingers than if I look with my eyes. Idk if relatable here. I love finding others “like me” even if only thru interwebs. It’s wild how it’s coming out that we really were right all along ;)
The sense of justice is causing much stress and suffering for me, especially recently. Perhaps it’s helping me tho, bc I feel passionate for people to be heard and taken seriously and I’d like to be a part of changing things for the better too ❤
Why did I never think of connecting my sensitivity to light and my ability to see in the dark... 😮 It's obvious, once you think about it.
Maybe those things just never happen close enough for me to have thought about it.
I didn't realize I'm autistic until age 71, after retirement. I've learned so much from your videos, and this one had me nodding my head all the way through. I'm still discovering all the ways being autistic affected my life!
I'm totally embracing my differences now, self diagnosed but wholly.... I am amazed and look at my life differently and my super power... yet was horrible prior... life full of bullying, no friends and abusive relationships. Now I'm taking back my life and embracing my authenticity
Yes to all of these strengths! Resonating with animals FOR SURE. My mother tells the story of when I was three and told her that I had actually been born a kitten and didn't know what had happened. One other thing that comes super easily to me with an autistic brain (and maybe others too!) is that the combo of pattern recognition, research, and empathy makes it really easy and fun for me to get into the headspace of characters who aren't anything like me. So things like writing fiction, acting, roleplaying games, anything like that have always come really naturally to me. (And because unknowingly masking so hard for so many years means that I feel as though I'm just playing a character of myself all the time anyway, the characters I write/portray feel nearly as valid as my regular persona. 😂) Thank you for posting this lovely, validating video! You made my day. 💖
This is super interesting! One of my friend's kids starting telling his teachers he was a dog and he refuses to talk, only act in dog behaviors.
Also love what you're saying about how your strengths also help you tap into different characters. Love it!
I am a book dragon! Consuming knowledge is a special interest.
🐉
ooooh samesies, friend! I just got a buncha 8-foot tall bookshelves and it's sooo exciting and also sooo stressful! 🙃
You readin' anything interesting lately?
All of these resonate for me deeply. I almost didn't resonate with the one about routines, until you mentioned creating them is a skill, but following through is tough. I LOVE organizing and color-coding systems. Then, I struggle to commit to them. 😬 Anyone else?
Yeah, I can organize stuff, but I didn’t talk about follow through…. 🙃 not my strong suit
Yup, that's me.
I've often thought I was "in my own head" too much. It was hard to explain, but I felt self-focused, yet not self-ish. I like selfism.
I thought maybe it was a lonely 80's only child thing. But ever since I've learned more about Autism I've realized that it's probably related.
I never thought of it as self-aware because I thought that meant you had your stuff all figured out. I always felt so 'self-confused' and assumed I was not self-aware.
Yeah, I haven’t found self awareness to mean you’ve got your stuff all figured out. I definitely don’t!
And a grateful thanks to you for being so generous and supportive with your life! God bless you 🙏😇
Thanks so much for your kind comment!
Spot on! Loved my dogs and cats and always had a special relationship where I felt they understood me and my autism
100% wow yes. I love that I'm not alone anymore
I love your channel. I haven't been diagnosed, but everything I hear people say, I relate to. I took the autism test and it told me I'm a high functioning Autistic. It was such A relief. Before, I just thought I was a freak. As a child, I became self conscious. I couldn't understand why people didn't see the things that I naturally saw. Like, pattern recognition. Thank you for your videos.
Can relate to alot of this especially re sense of justice and seeing the end point of something.
So frustrating at times.
This is SO helpful, Taylor! Very validating.
Another strength: the ability to think in images. This can manifest as explaining things using examples, images and metaphors.
I think part of the reason why this happens is because of our hyperrealism: images are a shortcut to having all the details we need.
We need details because we see individual elements before we see the big picture… and we NEED all of these elements in order to see the big picture.
I feel this is the reason why I often prefer to have or give an example than having to describe forever or ask a lot of questions in order to “paint” the whole picture in my mind.
Oh! Well said - I love to draw pictures and visualize things...nothing like a good graph where one is needed🤓
This is spot on. Except the management disregards my educated predictions and doesn't remember I even brought it up, no matter what kind of stink I make.
I just got diagnosed yesterday. Your channel and other channels like yours have helped me. My best friend suggested I was autistic a couple of years ago. I deep dived into it, got tested, and was officially diagnosed yesterday at 29.
Exactly the same! I cry easily bc of empathy. And i am an MD. Thank you! With your help i can explain myself to others .
Undiagnosed, testing scheduled for next week. Sometimes I think I am, sometimes I think I am not, but I identify with almost every point you brought up here. Thank you for doing what you do!
All of these conpletely resonate with me. The pattern recognition asoect really comes in useful also for reading body language for unsaid things, as well as the listening aspect for detecting hidden agendas. I could always tell when a colleague was pregnant or when they were planning on leaving before they'd said anything. The conceot that autistic people can't read between the lines is flawed; some of us do it very well.
Love this, I would add: total comfort with and ability to observe, understand, and seamlessly integrate a huge amount of intricate detail (I see this as related to/synergistic with the pattern recognition thing, but I see it as its own thing). Or maybe more like: finding a lot of detail comforting and helpful rather than confusing or distressing. I do, um, miss the big picture sometimes, but I absolutely adore my detail orientation, and it benefits my family and myself directly all the time.
For my experience, I can handle understanding a great deal of detail... as long as the details are relevant. If I have a bunch of details in front of me and the task requires that I process it, I can usually find the answer quickly. The problem comes up when I'm looking for the answer and someone is asking me about something not immediately related to the task (but I feel that has more to do with transitions).
Hmm...this might be exactly why my solo travel holiday pictures are 95 % plants, insects and funghy, and 5% landscapes where those lifeforms live in.
Empathy is what makes the people around me disbelieve my self diagnosis. Since I am superbly good at feeling emotions of others, to such a degree, that I can see their Burnout coming before they even know it, they think I can't be on the spectrum. People on the spectrum should have bad empathic, they say. So to hear from you, that you have the same trade and that you know many more people on the spectrum that have it, makes me super happy. Thank you.
Almost all of the list applies to me. I created my book and program for leaders based on what I now understand it my superpower of pattern recognition. When I was a lawyer, mediator and administrative law judge I could so clearly see the places the parties went off track. And it took until I retired for me to finally get it that what seemed obvious to me over my career wasn't at all obvious to most people in the workplace. Even judges and lawyers I respected. And my love of research was a bonus as a TV news anchor/reporter and then in my legal career. Finally, I'm an empath and lightworker.
Wow! Fascinating turn of events. Thanks for sharing part of your story with us!
@@beyondstars-s9h 💝
This is a great list. I think I would add (in no particular order):
1. A gift for seeing meta-structures in human dynamics. And, yeah, kind of being surprised when other people can't.
2. I think that what sometimes gets coded by others as a lack of empathy is actually the ability to cut through the noise and static of ego to look at a situation very objectively. Like, In all of my careers, I have found great value in reviewing events and looking for what worked well, what was problematic, what appeared to be neutral, what may be unnecessary. I'm not interested in blame or punishment. I want to understand what happened and then integrate what can be learned from it so that we can continue to grow and improve. I experience the process as enriching, not threatening.
3. As a mental health clinician, I think that being autistic is really useful in my work to help clients understand how they make sense. (Pro tip: because how people are does make sense). This, in turn, dissolves shame and makes was for greater self-compassion and curiosity.
4. This one is more of an observation. I'm not sure it rises to the standard of being a trait. It seems to me that allistic people can tend to be more focused on insecurity masquerading as pride, blame, and punishment. These ideas don't appear to seem as relevant to autistic people. Accountability? Yes. Sure. But not an accompanying need to denigrate, humiliate, bully, shame, etc.
That last point number 4, I believe it has to do with autistic people want righteousness and what’s fair, rather than revenge.
Everything you've listed is exactly what I would say about myself. I don't know about for others, but for me, there's so much comfort in that. Not that I need everyone to be the same. I have felt like an outsider my whole life, so it's just like a breath of fresh air to know there are others who operate similarly. Thank you as always Taylor for creating such an amazing community ♥
Beautiful. Self diagnosed. Totally relate and already noticed all of these in me.
Remembering the trouble caused by my pointing out how things could be organised better after just arriving in a new team😂
Many years later, after I'd already moved on, they finally applied what I had suggested at the time 🤦♀️
I LOVE this video (and your channel!) and as a late-diagnosed autistic woman (last year, age 53) I agree with all of these strengths and benefits. For me, a big plus is that I get so much pleasure from connection in general, not just with animals but with the natural world and even the built environment. I see patterns and feel a deep connection there too. This is a spiritual experience for me. I believe some of us have a natural ability to connect in this way, and it’s an amazing benefit of being autistic. Thank you Taylor for creating such wonderful and affirming videos!
I really appreciated this. We spend so, so much time struggling against the problems created by living in a world not made for us. Most of the time, this is the overwhelming majority of the experience. Often, it's hard to even really think of any good from all of it. It's just life set to hard mode, and it's exhausting.
It's so nice to just have a list of ideas for the good that comes from being wired different. Some of your ideas were ones I didn't even consciously connect to autism, but were obviously related once I thought about it. Some of these things are sources of some of the greatest joys in my life. Thank you!
This is so strange!! I have all of these. My ex boss used to say I am clairvoyant because I detect many things beforehand. Everything you said is me. Thank you so much for sharing.
Okay, pattern recognition is something I KNOW my brain does but it's hard for me to think of a specific example. You mentioned noticing people's mannerisms and behavior and that is SUCH an eye-opener. I notice people's typical responses and phrases, quirks, etc in a way that is SO ANNOYING to me and I never understood why I noticed that stuff so much. What a light bulb moment that this is indeed pattern recognition.
Literally described me !!! I love your videos I find them extremely helpful. Thank you . 52 & recently received my diagnosis. I ALWAYS knew I was different and videos like yours & some other Autistic youtubers helped me find the words to SAY what I was thinking & feeling. I then went & had my diagnosis appointments and I now feel complete. I'm finally part of a community where I fit in. Where others think & feel the same way I do. I love your videos & wanted you to know just how much you have helped me & continue to help me. Thank you ❤
I LOVE my Manta sleep masks. Makes a huge difference in getting decent sleep. Been a gamechanger for me
You nailed it. I'm not diagnosed, but these lists describe me to a T.
One of the things I really excel at is lateral thinking, I'm really good at finding unexpected solutions to problems.
I also have a very large general knowledge (because of my love of doing research; as mentioned in the video) so I'm able to access lots of information and make connections that other people just seem to miss.
@4:00 forget about the fancy features, that is just a straight up badass sleep mask. OMG didn't know you could blink with a sleep mask, that's awesome!!!
Thank you for this great video! Your list is a good conversation starter and did help me to change the way I perceive myself unconsciously. I have a delusional self esteem that seems to be tied chronically to negative feedbacks from my environment and struggle with accepting compliments. In a twisted way, I would argue, that my brain is both my best ally and my worst adversary. Perceiving myself over my strengths is not easy.
I will try to complete my "AuDHDer list of Things that come easily to me" this time:
1.) Asking the right questions to trigger an interested brain in finding new solutions or developing great ideas.
2.) Sharing my perspective in a way, that invites others to combine their own information on a certain topic related to autism with a new personal experience from an autistic adult.
3.) Treating people around me with a baseline of friendliness, kindness and an open-mind, that I wished where part of NTs social norms.
4.) Regardless of the power dynamics treat others including pets with respect as living beings/follow human beings.
5.) Not letting hierarchies at work or at collage cloud my judgement about "safe people" or "sound places".
6.) Trying to understand and being compassionate with children, elders and generally disabled persons.
7.) Having not a strong guilt about me not fulfilling unspoken expectations of an environment.
8.) Not letting others push me at work or in my private life to obediently follow their strict timelines and instead evolving on my own.
9.) Trusting my gut feeling, if a person or a place is "safe and sound" for me without having to mask constantly on my part.
10.) Being fundamentally trusting towards the good core of people I actively chose to have in my life.
11.) Reflecting myself unconsciously everyday and only realising this process after / while talking with others to a related topic.
12.) Pushing my limits and boundaries out of pure curiosity, even if I temporarily feel negative effects from that decision.
I would probably add some items (phrases) to the list above, but it's definitely past my normal bedtime and my sleep schedule is already messed up, as it is.
Keep moving, believe in yourself and trust your instincts! Thank you for sharing so openly your own journey and open yourself up to theoretical criticism!
3:00 I've been told I should be a therapist for the straightforward questions I ask. I will hear someone explain a story about their life, gather inferences, and ask meaningful questions
As an AuDHD therapist with a PhD in clinical psychology, you most definitely can be a therapist. There are lots of challenges, but you can do it. The two things I would start with is building good boundaries to prevent burnout and developing self compassion because it might tape you years longer than your peers to complete the training. It did for me.
@DrPsychlops wow, thank you for the encouragement! I really don't know if I want to immerse myself in so much education to actually pursue it, but I'm really happy to know that it it's possible, and that it has happened 😁💕
Hope I got the right video. You said something about "Separating personal from work." I had never had an issue with that, but then I realized from listening to your video that I have made a huge effort to keep that separate. Personal from Work. I don't like bringing romantic partners or family to work events.
Before I retired, I supervised an ASD employee. Most of her co-workers did not get along with her and it was a bewildering experience for me AT FIRST.
Once I recognized what why she was different, the clouds parted and I really appreciated having her there for the perspective she had and the enrichment in my life.
Always keep in mind that ASD is on a sliding scale and we can help the ASD person manage their world through compassion, patience, acceptance and understanding. ASD is a two-way gift!
No, it is not a sliding scale but a multidimensional scale. All dimensions independent of the each other.
I'm a fixer. I fix problems and also broken things. I can always figure out a way to improve a situation.
I'm also a great diplomat. I am great at making people feel good about themselves, even while communicating a problem
I am extremely resourceful
And I can make things and build things without instructions or patterns
I checked off every item on your list.And thank you so much for giving the etymology of the word "autistic." This is probably the main reason I have been mistaken for a narcissist so much.
thank you so much! at the moment I'm struggling so much, its such a relief to be remembered of our strong sides.
Very good list. All of those traits are ever present in my life.
I've had several people comment on my degree of self-awareness! Including therapists. Introspection comes naturally to me. And I'm always analyzing/trying to understand everything - including myself.
Empathy is interesting because there are different types. My mom "feels other people's emotions" - she has very high emotional/affective empathy. I don't have much affective empathy, but I DO have very high cognitive empathy - as well as compassion, which I consider more important, since compassion is (or can be) a choice.
Pattern recognition is definitely my strength. As a kid, I often annoyed my father as I kind of always knew when he was doing something in a wrong way. I anticipate dangerous situations in traffic way earlier than others, love to organize stuff, especially when packing the company car with our equipment. Now, thinking of it, everything I did in my life kind of revolved around this. I studied chemistry and now part of my job is to actually look for errors
100% 😊 Especially the animal thing & the Empath thing. WHICH, if you combine those together, it explains why out of the different types of Empaths that there are, I think I'm an Animal Empath 😇
Great connection!
I think this video was very helpful! This things I have been thinking of myself, but thought of it just traits of my personality. I really like the way these things can be put in the autistic "system", that I have in my brain. There is so much focus on the negative sides of autism, because the health system wants to find ways to help. And then you need to focus on what's hard. But there is so much help in focusing on what comes easy as well. We cannot just skip that part. It creates the whole picture. And as an autistic human, I really need to see the whole picture to understand. Love to you❤️
This whole list is so on point! I'm self-diagnosed autistic and professionally diagnosed ADHD (before DSM-5) and watching you perfectly articulate these experiences is like watching myself in a mirror. Thank you so much for putting it into words!
Taylor, the way you can articulate like everything about me so much better than I can even do it myself never ceases to amaze me! I feel like you are always talking about me not you when you say these things lol I am so glad I found you when I did and the last 2.5 years have been such a different experience of living my life with a sense of understanding that I never knew before despite how hard I worked and understanding every single thing ever lol
All the above. Thank you. Really truly helpful.
Tim.
Glad it was helpful!
Identifying dangerous people, situations, even areas before something bad happens. You could call it intuition but I think it is sensory input, awareness, pattern recognition.
Saved me from a human predator in the woods as a teen.
Me to but didn't no I was autistic then we were chased a mile my friend didn't see him luckily for him to I have extra senses he was arrested for serious crimes after that.i was 14
Hiya Taylor, your videos have explained things so well and I feel like I understand myself more than ever before during my self diagnosis journey (and hopefully official in the future), so thank you!!
I only wish I could have learnt it sooner than at 32 years old but I am so glad we have all these resources now.
A little story that proved to myself that I have autism is what happened while I was in austic burnout five months ago when my smell sensitivity super ability saved my family and my neighbours when I smelt a gas leak before everyone else.
The gas engineer said he couldnt smell it but any leak is serious so they got a specialist company to investigate and they used a special tool to detect it.
They eventually found it was leaking outside, it was coming up the pipe sleeve into our house which meant they had to dig up the garden and replace the mains pipes but I felt like if I hadn't smelt the leak that day enough of a gas build up could have sparked causing an explosion which could have taken out our house or even the street.
This is something I try to remind myself when I know Im struggling with autistic burnout again and can barerly function.
I can't always do everything I need to do but when the time comes I can do something truly amazing.
And so can we all with our strengths, being able to benefit our life and the lives of others around us with empathy, pattern recognition, our heightened sensitivities, etc
I relate to almost the whole list.
A big hell yes to all of these! Thank you❤
Of all the autistic presenters on UA-cam, I think you are the one with whom I most identify. I think that, although I might not seem organized to other people, I'm very mentally organized. I'm good at planning (and not always good at following through). I can get quite a lot done in a short amount of time. However, when stressed I tend to get tunnel vision and block out things that might distract me from accomplishing my goals, which isn't always a good thing. I can't be very spontaneous under those circumstances. I remember how awed I was when I realized one woman I knew could start something, let a group plan it, and carry on even if the group changed the end goal!! Whoa!
I can relate to this so much, especially my strong sense of justice. It’s also why I have needed to have my own business. My love of animals is huge and I’ll go to someone’s house and their cats or dogs immediately come to me and just hang out. My own cats are always near me. I’m a psychologist that does therapy with other neurodivergent people.
As part of pattern recognition, I find that I am excellent at the huge picture (as you said, the result of going down a certain path) and the tiniest of multiple details (all the little parts of context). I mentally use both extremes working together for making decisions and developing processes. Over the years I have learned that most people do not think or function this way.
Every single one of these applies to me!
i resonated with every word, thank you so much!!!
So glad! And you’re welcome! Thanks for your comment
Loved this video. I'm recently diagnosed Autistic, with a pending adhd assessment. I'm 56. I've lived my life processing my experience through the lens of things like being psychic and an empath, finding comfort in the esoteric philosophies. I think the biggest thing that comes easy to me is my creativity. I am uncompromising on carving out my own unique path as an artist. My PDA profile is a brilliant BS detector and I can sniff out insincerity like a master. I sought understanding about how I see things through astrology (is it because I'm a Pisces moon lol) or through MyersBriggs personality testing (i'm an INFJ which literally mirrors Autistic criteria) and so many other ways, just to get to that level of self awareness needed to understand why I was very often isolated in a groupthink, bullied or manipulated by friendship groups or workplace politics. None of it could 'cure' me lol. I remain the same steadfast, bold, direct thinker and speaker, but now after menopause, and a lot of trauma healing, firstly I can see the Autism, and secondly I now couldn't care less what people think of me. I've untangled so many layers that masked it. But I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't have an intellectual disability to navigate and that confuses so many neurotypical people. Right now I'm nourishing myself with all the content I can find that embraces all the positives, since a deficit based diagnosis is pretty disempowering. Thanks for sharing this.
Connecting to animals: I really love when I can connect to humans the same way, on the same "channel". Wordless communication. I'm not sure those humans actually are aware of that connection, but I'm pretty certain they react to it. Just like they react to their cats and dogs, without really knowing how much is going on. This helps me massively in social situations. (I've always thought that this connection might be what christians mean with "love your neighbour")
This was a crazy accurate description of my life 😳 😄
Thank you, I’m gonna go share this with family members now!
Great video Taylor ! Thanks so much ❤
Yep - really get all these 🖤
Empathy. Ugh! I mask and supress my own emotions so much that I just obsorb other people's instead of just feeling my own. It's rough!
Yeah, i sometimes feel like the empathy is the result of the need to mask as a kid in a neurotypical environment.
The better you can tune into someones expectations, the more succesfull the masking.
Becoming an empath is an essential skill needed for succesfull masking. Same for oppressing authentic feelings. They show in your face and bodylanguage and would mess up the mask.
Edit: i stopped masking to please people, now i only mask when it makes my life easier. So much better!
Not only do I feel what those around me feel, I can put it into words and offer assistance to them in addressing problems, working out solutions, and helping them put it into action. However, I can’t easily do that for myself. It’s extremely frustrating.
Thankfully as I have matured and learned more about myself, I have gotten better at identifying problems, labeling my emotions, and finding solutions. I often plug my story into one of a friend and approach it from the perspective of talking to a friend instead of thinking of myself and that helps me a lot.
For example when my older son assaulted his minor brother, I didn’t immediately know how I felt nor could I decide how to proceed. I asked myself if this were anyone other than my son what would I advise and the answer was call the police, so that’s exactly what I did. There was a time I wouldn’t have been able to come to a conclusion that fast.
This resonated so much except for routines… I wish I had that ability. I’m abysmal at creating or sticking to any and it causes a lot of suffering. I’m autistic in all the ways but didn’t know it for a while because challenges with routines and ADHD is intense and that diagnosis came first
I think the pattern recognition thing combined with my attention to detail is part of my extreme organization skills.
For me it's also
- creative thinking outside the box
- realizing that some social norms are stupid
- good memory with specific things like hyperfixations
wow, crazy, this is 100% match with me!!!!
I received the diagnostic, but since I'm the 2e (or 3e), this have been a big salad of symptoms and sign(al)s! So, I sometimes doubt the diagnosis, because it is a bunch of stuff almost melt-blended. And yes, I was commenting while watching, this is so ADHD of me... 😂
I don't know if what I commented made sense, but I'm too exhausted to check; that's why I'm gonna trust my somehow intermediate fluency. And I guess this is a very neurodivergent comment.