Like you can’t really help your gut feeling to something but you can help how you react to it afterwards and your actions. Realizing your initial feeling towards something is unreasonable is okay and a mature thing to do.
@@hernameispekka_Rebeccayou know, i thought of that but would an open relationship account for saying youre in love with another person? Like- beyond having sex with someone else, actually saying that you are IN LOVE with someone else. Idk my jaw dropped when she said that. Absolutely crazy
People like to act like when you're drunk you are a completely different person, when it's usually just what you are too afraid to do or say when you're sober because you know it's wrong, but when you're drunk, your inhibitions are not working how they need to, and so you just do or say whatever pops into your mind. Even when you're blackout drunk, you are still responsible for your actions, even if they are impaired actions or reactions, you still did them. Also if you can't control yourself when you're drunk, maybe don't drink? Or drink more responsibly? I wouldn't be able to trust my partner if they did something like that, I would never feel safe with them getting drunk because what if they go cheat on me?
The fact he almost fought those arseholes to get her to believe him makes me mad she didn't realize... I mean what cheater or arsehole would fight 5 people if he knew he lied...? Kind of a close minded woman but I'm glad she learned from it, I just hope this story doesn't get to be "remember that time you did that thing and broke up with me" to justify things he does although Josh seems like a very mature and charismatic guy, I hope they do well and have little Joshies hehe.
@@Svol09 That arsehole would be my ex!! When they think they're in the right they'll go scorched earth for their point, but unlike Josh he was a total piece of garbage lol. Also having 6 close friends all confirming something very aggressively WILL have effects on people. Josh for sure went "damn, she had every single close friend of hers lie and manipulate her, maybe she deserves another chance. I think he's far more mature than to stoop down to say what you theoretically quoted. It was a disgusting situation for both of them.
@@Svol09I don’t blame her. toxic lying men can act like that too, and if 6 of your friends are telling you something you are most likely going to believe them because you would hope they have your best interest at heart as that’s what friends are for
Someone please warn Arasha that best of Reddit updates does not mean a happy ending. Some of the most traumatic shit I've read online has been on that subreddit
@@CheekieCharlieI was having a great day until you reminded me about that one 🙃 It’s fucking awful that my sorrow for that little girl and her mother are so incredibly overshadowed by the overwhelmingly burning rage I have towards the grandmother. She literally murdered her granddaughter because she couldn’t accept that she couldn’t put coconut oil in the girl’s hair, and she will never acknowledge that SHE is responsible for KILLING HER GRANDDAUGHTER because of her own selfish whims.
I love Arasha’s metaphor about “A” shaped and “H” shaped relationships, and how important it is for those in a relationship to be able to stand on their own as an individual. My parents always said they’re not two people sailing one boat, they’re two people in their own boats sailing in the same direction.
Every week Shayne gets closer and closer to fulfilling his psychiatrist aesthetic. I expect to see more bookshelves and degrees lining the background walls from now on.
@@gemar77710 Honestly, he would NEVER. He's very intentional with never presenting himself as an expert of any kind, which is kinda important. He's not a therapist or psychologist. He has done a psychology degree. I respect how intentional and aware he is of not misrepresenting or overselling what he's saying. Very responsible.
I’ve gotten a “hey girl” text, but it was because my boyfriend at the time was commenting on girl’s posts & leaving hateful remarks towards their bodies. The one that sticks with me the most is a girl had bigger legs, like thick thighs & stretch marks & he called her some nasty names, body shape-wise I looked just like her at the time. I’m grateful for the girls that send “hey girl” texts.
im a guy trying my best to send a "hey man" text. a girl i met at an event a month ago was flirting with me very obviously and we texted all the time; eventually we admitted we liked each other and started officially talking talking. later on, she started ghosting me and i found out from a mutual friend that she had a boyfriend the whole time. no one that ive asked knows who her boyfriend is and hes nowhere to be found on her instagram (plus she blocked me there like a week into ghosting me). a few of my friends and i are asking around trying to figure out who this man is so i can tell him what happened, but weve had no luck so far. we all know each other through an international organization and are from different states so this isnt a local school thing or anything, making it a lot harder to find her boyfriend. wish me luck here
@@Ilsezwarts I hope you aren't celebrating physical violence committed to a cheater, especially since if the genders were reversed, this comment wouldn't be here. Cheaters are not good people and shouldn't be in relationships, but actively assaulting them is worse...
I love what Shayne said "If major reason you're in a relationship is your fear of being single, then you need to be single" I fully believe that you can't be happy with others if you can't be happy by yourself. There's bliss in all aspects of life. You just need to find your bliss.
fr. i felt pressured by my friends to get into a relationship because i was the only single friend and thought it would cure my problems, but i recognized that i had to work on my mental and emotional health before being able to have a healthy relationship with another person. it’s ok to be single and take time to better yourself!
just wanted to say that the moment i glanced over this comment and got to the quote is the exact moment shayne said it in the video, so it was like "im reading the quote in my head but instead of the usual inner voice ive got shayne himself doing the voice over".
the biggest aspect of the first story that they kinda overlooked was that she said she uses food as a way to connect with others. if he’s unwilling to take part in that ritual then they really are just completely incompatible.
also him calling it shallow, when food is "only" one of the major things humanity in general has used to bond. food is inherently social. it could not be further from shallow. not only is dude boring as hell, but also a dick, especially when hes even making remarks as to what other are eating, like wat does he expect?
Lol yeah, my husband is super picky due to an eating disorder but he cooks dinner every night bc he grew up helping his dad cook and he likes connecting with people through cooking even if his body doesn’t like eating.
@@samuraibeluga3749 Yes. It’s his lack of respect for foods he doesn’t like. Cuz it’s one thing to be a picky eater, and it’s another thing to be a picky eater with no decorum. Also him calling their food differences “trivial” is just ignorance on his part cuz to so many people, especially given their cultural background, food is very important to who they are or what they enjoy.
I love when Arasha is on Reddit Stories, she always has such insightful empathetic takes (and also she's just genuinely incredibly entertaining and fun to watch)
I'm dying they're all matching colors and looking really good. The first story... The guy isn't just picky he's actively being an asshole to everyone involved. Her, her friends, the waiter.
If the guy really cared for OP, he would be willing to make adjustments unless he has a health condition that forces him to eat limited food choices. Being picky isn't the problem because everyone has specific preferences when it comes to food, how you express it will determine if you're on the level of ASSHOLE or RESPECTFUL.
reminds me of the person who went to a fancy polish-hungarian restaurant and threw a tantrum because they didn't have ranch dressing, and then said their date was rude for being embarrassed of them
Needing to know the ingredients in a food is something I do because I’m autistic. I don’t think it’s being an asshole to ask questions about it, even very specific ones.
I've always thought Shane was one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen, but Courtney is bringing a new kind of happiness out of this man. He looks happy, healthy, loved, and it looks so good on him. After being in a toxic relationship for LITERALLY ten years, learning so much about healthy love and communication from here has helped me grow immensely. Watching it unfold before my eyes? Magical. Can't stand it. Love them endlessly.
As an adult with ARFID, the guy in the first story absolutely sounds like he has it and maybe just doesn’t know what it is. However, his behavior and comments about what others are eating were completely disrespectful and not okay.
agree, dude was an ass but I thought it was weird that OP diagnosed them as not having ARFID then described avoidant & restrictive eating behavior. Also sad that no-one, OP or otherwise, gave him the benefit of the doubt that his social boneheaded-ness could result from a history of not being able to connect over food.
I was guessing autism. Plain foods like pasta with butter or a plain cheeseburger sound right up the wheelhouse of a lot of my fellow autists who have sensory issues with taste or textures and might be very hesitant with trying new things. I didn't know what ARFID was but I just looked up a brief description and it also sounds very possible yeah.
Same, adult with ARFID. It super sounds like he has it, and I think that generally people aren’t well-informed about the condition and the fact that it’s more than picky eating and definitely not a choice. BUT his behavior is so rude! Making comments about her colleagues’ dishes (I frequently say - and mean - that a dish looks or smells wonderful but unfortunately i can’t eat it, or I just… don’t say anything), pestering her for a week after she ended things, “interrogating the waiter” (i’m not sure how severe this actually was- could have been skewed from her perspective)… all red flags, and it’s clear that he doesn’t respect her or her profession.
@@CaptainJellyBS maybe it’s just a pet peeve of mine but idk why someone who has known another person for less than a month and is not in the medical field would think they know about a persons conditions or lack thereof
I kinda had that happen, it was devastating. Turned out one of the friend group is actually super manipulative and narcissistic and that was rubbing off on everyone else. We all cut contact with that person over time and have slowly trying to build trust up with each other again
Listening twice, hearing Shayne’s presentation of the “friends orchestrate a lie to hook up our friend” story, really impresses me. He so subtly hinted towards the update while still maintaining wonder .. swag
arasha dancing professionally around the word boner and then trevor coming in with "I think the level of stiffness has something to do with it" hahahahahah
5:58 For anyone who wants to try a sushi restaurant and has these concerns; there are both nigiri and maki roll sushi variations that are cooked and you can find them at most sushi places, in addition to noodle dishes like udon or soba if you don't like seafood.
I was pulled into the reddit rabbit hole after that woman who was like " my husband won't let me have a painting my dead sister made cause he's her widower" I saw it on Twitter and my jaw hit the floor. You married your dead sister's husband and the painting is what you're worrying about. I've forgotten how many years it's been since but I haven't looked back.
Honestly, this doesn't surprise me... Reminds me of a post how a guy wasn't okay with his dad dating his aunt, considering the fact his aunt was his dead mom's sister...🫤😕🙁
Shayne, you gotta start saying, “I submitted this story… for our show.” 😅 Every time you just say the first part, everyone thinks it’s your story. Arasha was so shocked for a second! 😂
I was honestly kind of shocked to hear that Karlach was the point of contention in the second story and not Astarion. The number of relationships that man has destroyed is staggering
Lmao that's what I was thinking too. I'm surprised for once it wasn't Astarion breaking a couple up, that vampire elf causes irrational jealousy in men to a degree I have never seen before in my life.
in one case i heard of wyll doing it. bi guy was playing with all the characters naked cos haha horni and his gf freaked abt him being bi and left. dodged a bullet there lol
Yes, my ex-boyfriend and I got into a fight about Astarion once!! It was extremely stupid, but he was jealous I liked his character so much and started making jokes about Astarion being enslaved which I thought was incredibly unfunny at the time 😭 Absolutely the dumbest thing I've ever gotten into an argument about, but his character sure does make couples fight 💀💀
OK that group of friends convincing the girl to break up with her boyfriend was insane and vile. Jesus christ that was awful. That was honestly one of the worst stories I've heard
that whole story has romcom written all over it, especially with the update. actually, now i want to see that romcom... although i think i've seen a romcom where "alex" is somehow the good guy, and i don't need that at all ever to happen in my life
@@david-jonballinger6638 there was one where the woman's sorority sisters/college friend group all lied and said her long term boyfriend was a cheater. Broke up the family friendship and the ex was nearly disowned. She finds out that they lied because he was too boring. Her ex is happily married with kids and when she tries to reconnect he declines but accepts her apology.
@@david-jonballinger6638 they had a similar story before but that one happened in uni and years (i think 10??) later op found out but the ex already moved on with a whole family. op was trying to ask if theres any chance of getting back together lol
that analogy Arasha said about A vs. H & co-dependency... blew my mind. Arasha is such a gem on these Reddit stories, would love her & Damien on together, would just be the most reasonable takes the whole episode
I had the SAME exact experience as Trevor in highschool. Junior year my closest friend convinced everyone else in the friend group to stop talking to me. One day I had friends and about a week later I had noone. Took two years for one person to finally admit what happened.
I had a really similar one too. No one ever specifically told me what exactly the things said about me were (I think along the lines that I was annoying maybe?). But I was 14 and all of sudden had no friends and was so isolated and lonely. As much as I wish no one had that experience, it’s still a relief to know that I’m not alone
Its crazy to hear shayne was nervous about dating cause hes both very good looking and exceptional at talking to people, learning about people, and keeping conversations interesting. Hearing he had similar anxieties as me just makes me love him more
He has talked about it a lot in the past on the podcast and the older show he did with Ccourtney (HAH!) called Why we're bad at dating. Very solid and relatable stuff
Last story almost had me in tears. I've had a situation similar where someone lied about me, friend group believed it, and I was pushed out. I'm glad they had a happy ending.
If people who know and like us believe lies about us, they either don't know us or like us. It is a good way, though hurtful, to flush out bad relationships from our lives.
She's thoughtful but she's also had some weird viewpoints or comments during these reddit videos. During this episode she straight up said that when it comes to not handling rejection well, it's often times men. 🤔
Arasha is my favorite person to have on Reddit Stories. She is always so composed and eloquently expresses her opinions with the highest empathy. You can tell she is someone who has high emotional intelligence.
Seriously! I don’t know if it’s something she thought of or read/heard somewhere but the simile about relationships being like an A or an H was profound
You must not be paying attention because there's been like 30 different instances of clear bias and even more of emotion based opinion without any influence of reality
@@ocarinafrek Uhm... they're humans... We're all gonna come with emotions and biases built in. Anyone who think they don't make me weary. What IS important is being able to listen to and consider other viewpoints after your initial gut reaction and she's great at that. Sometimes to a fault!
my boyfriend came home with a kitchen mat one day and said “i know you wanted one and i remembered while i was at the store, so i picked one out for you.” that’s my version of “if he wanted to, he would” it’s the simple things🖤
Anyone getting flashbacks from the last story to the Mac and Jackie episode, where a woman's best friends also tricked her into breaking up? This is truly the happy ending that story never got. I'm so glad she was able to find out a year later, and not decades.
I never heard that story maybe her friends thought oh she'll brake up with him naturally and when that didn't happen they decided to FORCE her into a BRAKE UP with her BOYFREIND I bet her high school besties have this unspoken rule that your not allowed to DATE anyone outside our FRIEND GROUP which is an INSANE unspoken rule to have I've heard reddit stories where what you described happen only for the person who planed it to end up with the person their friend had and that's why they did it they wanted this person to be theirs and since their friend had them they cook up this weird plan to make sure they get the result that they want NOT caring who they hurt in the process
videos like this one show why i love arasha. she's a very active listener and her responses are well spoken and thoughtful. pair that with shayne's hosting skills and psychology background and trevor's humor and perspective and you've got a great combo for this series. one of my favorite reddit stories videos by far from smosh.
Hi! Someone who is a picky eater and has sensory issues here! The OP is NOT the asshole! As someone who sticks with what they know, AND struggles eating certain textures, I still try my best to try new food! And would NEVER talk about how gross your food looks or other food looks unless you were an incredibly close friend that knew i was joking. What Jake did was incredibly rude and embarrassing. AND he also DOESN'T get the right to be all rude and talk about how gross the food is and then get MAD at her for that being a reason she doesn't want to date him.. jesus..
as someone who is autistic and also struggles a whole lot with food Id put money on that guy being on the spectrum, the picky eating and the poor social skills are big signals.
I lowkey relate to that tho. I don’t know what it is about my communication style, but I’ll still have close friends (whom I’ve known for *years*) be caught off guard by some basic facts about my life/personality. It just be like that sometimes. But yeah, they are also just coworkers lol.
@@stuFF625 Arasha's very organized and sometimes being very organized throws people off of their intuition so when you ask something personal they go for more of what feels like your sense of humor.
I feel the worst for Josh in that last Reddit story. One of my greatest fears, for no real reason because I’ve never experienced it before, is having lies spread about me and other people believing them. People these days are so quick to jump at any opportunity to assassinate a person’s character, and that scares tf out of me. Thankfully the accusations against Josh weren’t any more serious, but the poor guy has had to live with the knowledge that a lie was spread about him and everyone believed it, including his girlfriend. His relationship was ruined, his character was tarnished, and all because a group of people wanted his girlfriend to be with someone else? Sheesh.
Just got to the Baldur’s Gate story, and after they explained the two characters to Arasha, I had a thought… Shayne guess Smosh’s BG3 Smashes and Passes. Have each person put a short list of party members from the game they’d smash and pass on.
He wanted the real reason and decided he didn’t like the reason. Even if I was siding with him at any point, that’s the deal breaker. Don’t ask for honesty when you can’t handle it
Only one story in, I love the silly episodes but I also deeply love when the three people in these videos can have mature productive conversations about the stories. Great line up this week.
Watching these folks work through their thoughts and feelings in a group setting makes me happy. Humors aside, it's just beautiful to watch these people grow.
how was it gaslighting? genuinely asking, I just thought it's about making someone question their sanity. I guess the friends made her doubt her judgement of the bf but I would hesitate to call it gaslighting. what makes you so certain?
@grsspal i mean they definitely gaslit the bf. They had a confrontation with him in front of her and called him a liar to his face even though he wasn't, and they all knew he wasn't. Thats like textbook gaslighting behavior.
@@Amachiii idk, a pretty necessary facet of gaslighting is making someone doubt their sense of reality and second guess their own experiences/memory, typically as a means of exacting control over them. It doesn't sound like that's what they were attempting to do to the bf and he never seems to have doubted his own innocence either. It sounds like they were just straight up lying in front of him and trusting that 6 vs 1 and their history with op would be more convincing than his denials. The way they manipulated and lied to op was definitely more akin to gaslighting, though I'm def not qualified to say if it would actually be considered such.
as someone with ARFID. that guy was totally going too far with his. I personally don't understand people who are adventurous with their food choices, but that doesn't mean it's alright to act disgusted about it or call it weird. Good for her for calling it off. Even without the fact that they have different values, he just seems like a disrespectful prick.
i honestly relate to the first story so much, my last boyfriend could barely eat anything that i would cook or bake because he was allergic to sugar and gluten, and liked maybe 3 foods (one of which was chipotle). i’d offer to cook for him (at his home with his ingredients so it’s 100% safe for him) and he’d shut me down every single time. i’m a baker and i love to cook for people, so it’s really hard to not be able to make food for the ones i love
In highscool one of my friends started a rumor that I called another friend fake. Over the weekend I lost all my “friends”. But it lead me to some of the best people who are still in my life over 15 years later.
For the first story as a picky eater myself I at least push myself to try a dish when someone asks because that’s the kind thing to do, my boyfriend still loves cooking and i will occasionally try food if he makes it, Arusha made such a key point with the pickiness he made it a them thing rather than a him thing. As a picky eater I try really hard to not burden other with it and go to resturants even if there’s not necessarily an entree to eat I’ll nibble on a couple things
True true. Unless you're allergic to something, give certain foods a chance. You never know what you might like? I never would have had a wide food palette if I was willing to taste them before giving my thoughts.
Also that even though all feelings are valid, you don’t have to act on them. And that feelings are transient so even if you’re feeling low, it won’t last forever.
It happened to me too Trevor! worst part the person lying was my best friend since grade school. Who had been doing it for years not just me but about everyone in the group. She wanted to control the friend group and be able to push out anyone at any time. I literally was unable to make new friends for 8 years.
For the first story, imagine if she pushed past this and continued to date him. She never gets to go try new restaurants with him. He is always going to be the one picking meals or they would be cooking separate meals. It isn't even about the pickiness but the disrespect towards everyone else trying foods he doesn't like. I love that they noted that early on in dating, it doesn't have to be a big reason to stop dating them. You could just not be feeling it anymore and that's okay!
I think for someone who is autistic (which it seems he might be without knowing it, having what clearly seems like undiagnosed ARFID and the like), getting no solid answer on something is not acceptable. We typically don’t settle for nonanswers, requiring something that makes sense to move on. Flashbacks for every autistic kid to “because I said so.”
@@KittyKatAspen I don’t even think that’s just an autistic thing. I‘d hope people all across the board agree that being truthful to someone you don’t intend to speak to again anyway is more helpful than just leading them on. What a cowardly way of ending things.
@@levischorpioen how is anyone supposed to learn how to have better and long lasting relationships without feedback. I just think OP is unreliable, it seems like she just doesn’t understand things that are genuinely not obvious to someone who isn’t around these things. I just felt really shitty after that first story because it felt like everyone blindly agreeing with a biased OP. I just kinda understood and felt bad for the guy in the story. It felt like he was driven to a far worse point than he should’ve and chastised for it.
@@KittyKatAspenFrankly no one owes anyone they’re not married to an answer if they want to break up. Early dating is a test period and even if he wasn’t a picky eater she’d be valid to break up for any reason. Your comment seems a bit short sided or perhaps even manipulative
@@KittyKatAspenThat's what it seems like to me too. I still think he's ta more for handling it poorly. I also cam understand that poor handling from personal experience. Especially bc of the environment I grew up, no one taught me better. Still, at some point it's important to learn not to harrass people and leave it be. I agree with top comment that its not even about the food but how he handled things.
Right on, Shayne! I’ve seen so many bad relationships where one person set the bar too low because they were afraid to be alone. Desperation makes for bad choices.
As a picky eater (I've gotten WAY better over the past few years), I understand that my picky eating can be super inconvenient and strange to others. I would NEVER complain or make rude comments about the food that's being provided! If it's legit stuff that I really will not eat (like anything with onions, for example, I will not be adventurous with), I will just make an excuse like I already ate. No big deal!
I'm new to this show and I'm so into it, I've been watching you guys like a marathon, it's helping me improve my comunication skills in my relationships and reflect on some of my behaviors and actions. I really like this girl Arasha Lalani she's so nice and careful with her words, so sensitive and reasonable and truthful, sending you guys lots of love from Brazil ❤
i appreciate how in the first story OP clarified that the guy didn’t have ARFID or anything. I’ve struggled with ARFID my whole life and often times people just think it’s “extreme picky eating” and i was worried my feelings were gonna get hurt lol
Honestly I don’t think you’d be that person anyway because it would be fine if they were just incompatible, but he seems very judgemental which I hope you can’t relate to!
Not sure how much they hung out together outside of the dates. His behavior (being judgmental and rude) would manifest in other aspects of his daily life. It's ok to ask restaurant staff about their food but if it's a recurring behavior, I imagine the average person would take it upon themselves to look into the place ahead of time. Being rude to service providers (waiter's in this case) is just a red flag.
ARFID can manifest in so many ways, but whatever people’s opinion on how yours manifests, how you feel about it is valid and you’re not being difficult! ❤️
Here’s my idea for an episode: best of updates, ever story has an update (or several, the more the better) but you don’t tell the guests what the theme is until they just figure it out
My problem with the first guy is he's coming at everything with a negative "weird, I don't trust things with to many ingredients" instead of a positive "interesting, I've never seen that before" you can be picky without being hateful
As a picky eater I have a very different reaction to it than the first guy. I'm always so very jealous of people who like all these different foods and ingredients. Whenever I get a sandwich or a hotdog or a burger, my friends all have these delicious and pretty looking dishes, and I've got meat, cheese, and sauce. Pasta dishes with all these cool ingredients and I always just have noodles, sauce, and meat.
I’m planning on asking a girl out on Tuesday, but I’ve been stressing about it a bunch since I’ve never asked anyone out before. Basically, you guys posted this video at the perfect time for me.
Be confident! Youve got this! If they say no remember it’s not the end of the world, and were proud of you for trying and putting yourself out there!!!
The worst that can happen is rejection, and even then that isn’t a bad thing! It just means you aren’t their match, and when you find yours it’s like a spark inside you. You can do this and I wish you luck!
Hey! Someone with arfid here. I'd like to clarify that my disorder hasn't stopped me from adding various foods from other cultures as long as it was on my safe foods list, especially mainly Korean food, Middle Eastern food, etc. It depends for every person but I'm always down to try a little bit of foods I haven't eaten yet and evaluate if I can add to my safe foods list or not. Anyways, the first story was very insightful as despite my disorder food is a huge connecting factor for me. Edit: Every person with arfid* and a lot of Mexican food would be on my safe food list too omg
As someone with autoimmune diseases and a tonne of allergies im fairly restricted in what i can eat! The first story wound me up because ppl act like if you had a condition that somehow that behaviour is more understandable or acceptable: incorrect. Food is a huge deal, perhaps even more so if you are restricted for any reason, and having the highest respect and love and care for someone in your life around food is a huge connecting or disconnecting experience. If i dated someone where food was a big deal (& i have) it can be a beautiful way for us to spend time and effort around food for us to enjoy it safely together and with love, rather than it being a problem or somewhere for disrespect or resentment to grow.
Having a "safe foods" list when it's not for allergy / health reasons just sounds so ridiculous and childish. I get arfid is a disorder of sorts, but I can't help thinking Jeeez just grow up. I can appreciate how insensitive this must sound to arfid sufferers, I'm sorry. I've never said any of this outloud and I never will - but I'm judging hard, internally 😅
@@joleneonyoutubeYep! My feelings about that were initially on the "why make such a big deal out of someone not being comfortable eating things?" until he kept pestering her and handled things very poorly. I'd say he's the ahole here. I also wish more people wouldnt make a big deal out of food, for whatever reason. Medical or not, if someone is uncomfortable with new foods or certain foods or whatever, there's a simple solution in letting them bring a safe food in the first place. Everyone gets fed that way. As for wanting to share the love of various foods, that I can see as being a dealbreaker for a relationship. I'd just say be careful to not be judgemental about that difference.
trevor’s story at 47:42: i had something similar happen to me as well, but it wasn’t a slow push. it still affects me to this day. being essentially exiled by an entire group of friends for something you literally did not do is devastating
as someone with ARFID, I was so glad that the person in the first story mentioned it. I feel like so many people on reddit (and in general) judge people based on eating habits when they don’t know the whole story. We need more people to have ED awareness :)
My thoughts too. Like I'm very picky, I'm autistic and it was hard keeping me fed as a child, but you don't call other people's food gross or make comments about how it looks. You try it, discretely spit it into a napkin if you don't like it and can't swallow without heaving, and eat the bits you can without making a big deal. Then you buy fries on the way home.
On the last story I was so hoping there would be an update, I was gonna be so sad if there wasn’t. There was still like 10 min left and I was thinking there’s gotta be an update…and then Shayne said, “update” and I literally yelled, “YESSS!” 😂 It’s honestly devastating sometimes when a juicy story doesn’t have an update lol.
The 1st story hit me hard bc I also left a first date early bc of someone’s picky eating. In context we went to go get Bao which was delicious, when we brought it back he said that it looked weird and didn’t even try it and said he’ll just give it to his family to eat. As a foodie that ended it right there bc not even trying something and just ordering it just to please me was not something I’d like to continue.
I'm a picky eater cause i have the texture issues autism, but i like trying new foods at least lol the exception is if there's certain ingredients that i know i don't like and it's a strong enough flavour that i know i wouldn't be able to enjoy a dish like i can't eat cilantro, i have the "cilantro tastes like soap" gene and it ruins my eating experience. and with a peanut allergy that also eliminates an entire culture of food and that makes me sad. but even i wouldn't be able to date anyone who's so picky they refuse to even TRY something new like, A BITE, please?? 😂
I'm super picky cause of ARFID, but even i tried bao the other day! I was very skeptical but i use the three bite rule. If i still dont like it after three bites, then i feel safe in saying i wont eat it.
I’m a picky eater, but I’ll at least try things first before editing them off. Especially if it clearly matters to the other person I’m with. Though sometimes I can just look at something & tell I won’t like it
@@flarebear5346 To be honest, wouldn't try it either if I knew there was something I didn't like in a food. I wouln't say the food is weird or anything but but I wouldn't eat because I vomit easily. I think it's weird to force someone to try something past saying "please try it" once. If they're ready to eat it, then they will. I also would understand if someone broke up with me because of my picky eating.
About the third story, I listened to smth on a podcast that really stayed with me and it’s similar to what one of the comments said. You set these boundaries, you would do yourself a dishonor if you look past it. Forget about him, you would be disrespecting yourself if you continued the relationship. You only have yourself at the end of the day, if you can’t reinforce your values and boundaries, then what do you have left? Also I can’t stress enough how much I love Aisha. I love how everyone expresses in these videos, but there’s just something about the way she carries herself, the comments she makes and the way she makes them that I absolutely adore.
My thoughts on the first story: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a “picky eater” or only eating what you consider “safe foods”. My concern is how he comments on other people’s food choices and “doesn’t trust recipes with too many ingredients in it”. What does that mean? In my mind I’m worried this is diet culture, restrictive eating, or a full blown eating disorder. I was similar at the height of my ED and it is incredibly hard to unlearn commenting on other people’s food choices, especially when you were commented on yours your entire life. I hope that gets figured out for his sake, since negatively commenting on someone’s food choices isn’t going to just be a deal breaker in this relationship, but likely any relationship.
32:25 I think it's actually worse than that. I interpreted it as that he proposed to his girlfriend, had drinks to celebrate, then it showed up online the next day that they got engaged. So this all might have happened the actual night of the proposal
There is also a chance its a good match, especially if the food lover is a creative cook and loves to make things that work.. im picky, my ex is vegan and loves cooking. It worked well.
As an Autistic person, I’m always wary when Allistics use the term “picky eater” bc 9 times outta 10, the other person just has sensory issues or allergies. And plain noodles and butter? That’s a ‘Tism classic. That being said, she was right to end the relationship bc they’re not compatible, and his reaction was wildly out of proportion, bro needs therapy.
Ok but being on the spectrum doesn't allow you to be disrespectful about what others are eating. Being autistic should not be an excuse of any rude behavior
@@d4ce429which itself wasn’t the first place that was said. I’d heard the saying when I was younger before HIMYM was even a thing. Maybe not a super common saying, and it was definitely used in the show, but it didn’t originate there.
“Feelings are always valid, but not always reasonable” honestly great comment by Arasha
Like you can’t really help your gut feeling to something but you can help how you react to it afterwards and your actions. Realizing your initial feeling towards something is unreasonable is okay and a mature thing to do.
Tbh I need this on a t-shirt 😂
90% of her opinions are based on her emotions in the moment, so she's a hypocrite
The version I heard in a managing depression course was "feelings are always valid, but that doesn't make them true". Helped me a lot
That hit me too
Marrying someone after you found out they drunk texted an ex the day before they proposed to you is crazy
Honestly... lets hope they are open and just didn't share that...
Someone did this to an old friend of mine too.
@@hernameispekka_Rebeccayou know, i thought of that but would an open relationship account for saying youre in love with another person? Like- beyond having sex with someone else, actually saying that you are IN LOVE with someone else. Idk my jaw dropped when she said that. Absolutely crazy
@@peggyharala886 good point. Usually not
People like to act like when you're drunk you are a completely different person, when it's usually just what you are too afraid to do or say when you're sober because you know it's wrong, but when you're drunk, your inhibitions are not working how they need to, and so you just do or say whatever pops into your mind. Even when you're blackout drunk, you are still responsible for your actions, even if they are impaired actions or reactions, you still did them. Also if you can't control yourself when you're drunk, maybe don't drink? Or drink more responsibly? I wouldn't be able to trust my partner if they did something like that, I would never feel safe with them getting drunk because what if they go cheat on me?
“I’m here for that beverage.” No wonder Alex needed 6 people to convince her to break up with Josh. Josh’s rizz is unmatched.
The fact he almost fought those arseholes to get her to believe him makes me mad she didn't realize... I mean what cheater or arsehole would fight 5 people if he knew he lied...? Kind of a close minded woman but I'm glad she learned from it, I just hope this story doesn't get to be "remember that time you did that thing and broke up with me" to justify things he does although Josh seems like a very mature and charismatic guy, I hope they do well and have little Joshies hehe.
@@Svol09 That arsehole would be my ex!! When they think they're in the right they'll go scorched earth for their point, but unlike Josh he was a total piece of garbage lol. Also having 6 close friends all confirming something very aggressively WILL have effects on people. Josh for sure went "damn, she had every single close friend of hers lie and manipulate her, maybe she deserves another chance. I think he's far more mature than to stoop down to say what you theoretically quoted. It was a disgusting situation for both of them.
The bar for rizz IS the ground.
That was smooth and cute
@@Svol09I don’t blame her. toxic lying men can act like that too, and if 6 of your friends are telling you something you are most likely going to believe them because you would hope they have your best interest at heart as that’s what friends are for
Shayne looks completely different every few episodes and I kind of love it 😂
He’s giving Tommy in this I feel like haha
the hair, facial hair and glasses combo are eatinggg today
@@Biologistemmyhe stole his hair!
I feel like a year from now a video will come out like "Each Smosh member dresses Shayne for one day." Lol
i was gonna say this too omg!
Someone please warn Arasha that best of Reddit updates does not mean a happy ending. Some of the most traumatic shit I've read online has been on that subreddit
The little girl with the coconut oil 😭😭😭
That story hurt my heart @@CheekieCharlie
@@CheekieCharlieI was having a great day until you reminded me about that one 🙃
It’s fucking awful that my sorrow for that little girl and her mother are so incredibly overshadowed by the overwhelmingly burning rage I have towards the grandmother. She literally murdered her granddaughter because she couldn’t accept that she couldn’t put coconut oil in the girl’s hair, and she will never acknowledge that SHE is responsible for KILLING HER GRANDDAUGHTER because of her own selfish whims.
It's not always about the iranian yogurt 😢 sometimes it's about the iranian yogurt 😢
The update on the CSA survivor yesterday broke my heart
I love Arasha’s metaphor about “A” shaped and “H” shaped relationships, and how important it is for those in a relationship to be able to stand on their own as an individual. My parents always said they’re not two people sailing one boat, they’re two people in their own boats sailing in the same direction.
That’s such a good way to put it too. Very sweet. Because they choose to sail in the same direction.
I don’t really watch these all the way through just bits and pieces were was the A and H thing I would like to hear it
@@redwing6174 It starts at 38:31
your parents sound nice
Every week Shayne gets closer and closer to fulfilling his psychiatrist aesthetic. I expect to see more bookshelves and degrees lining the background walls from now on.
He literally resembles a UA-camr psychiatrist I watch 😂
omg can we please make his degree part of the set?
Modern psychiatrists have an iPad instead of a clipboard 😭
They should honestly framed his psch degree behind him, that way he’s using it and especially in a comedic way!
@@gemar77710 Honestly, he would NEVER. He's very intentional with never presenting himself as an expert of any kind, which is kinda important. He's not a therapist or psychologist. He has done a psychology degree. I respect how intentional and aware he is of not misrepresenting or overselling what he's saying. Very responsible.
I’ve gotten a “hey girl” text, but it was because my boyfriend at the time was commenting on girl’s posts & leaving hateful remarks towards their bodies. The one that sticks with me the most is a girl had bigger legs, like thick thighs & stretch marks & he called her some nasty names, body shape-wise I looked just like her at the time. I’m grateful for the girls that send “hey girl” texts.
I did a hey girl text and then hit another from the guy saying she just punched him in the face 🙈
@@moyaxoxo5923physical violence is a no, but ATEEE
Damnnnn good on her, what loser 😢
im a guy trying my best to send a "hey man" text. a girl i met at an event a month ago was flirting with me very obviously and we texted all the time; eventually we admitted we liked each other and started officially talking talking. later on, she started ghosting me and i found out from a mutual friend that she had a boyfriend the whole time. no one that ive asked knows who her boyfriend is and hes nowhere to be found on her instagram (plus she blocked me there like a week into ghosting me). a few of my friends and i are asking around trying to figure out who this man is so i can tell him what happened, but weve had no luck so far. we all know each other through an international organization and are from different states so this isnt a local school thing or anything, making it a lot harder to find her boyfriend. wish me luck here
@@Ilsezwarts I hope you aren't celebrating physical violence committed to a cheater, especially since if the genders were reversed, this comment wouldn't be here. Cheaters are not good people and shouldn't be in relationships, but actively assaulting them is worse...
I love what Shayne said "If major reason you're in a relationship is your fear of being single, then you need to be single"
I fully believe that you can't be happy with others if you can't be happy by yourself. There's bliss in all aspects of life. You just need to find your bliss.
fr. i felt pressured by my friends to get into a relationship because i was the only single friend and thought it would cure my problems, but i recognized that i had to work on my mental and emotional health before being able to have a healthy relationship with another person. it’s ok to be single and take time to better yourself!
just wanted to say that the moment i glanced over this comment and got to the quote is the exact moment shayne said it in the video, so it was like "im reading the quote in my head but instead of the usual inner voice ive got shayne himself doing the voice over".
the biggest aspect of the first story that they kinda overlooked was that she said she uses food as a way to connect with others. if he’s unwilling to take part in that ritual then they really are just completely incompatible.
Oh yeah definitely
also him calling it shallow, when food is "only" one of the major things humanity in general has used to bond. food is inherently social. it could not be further from shallow. not only is dude boring as hell, but also a dick, especially when hes even making remarks as to what other are eating, like wat does he expect?
@@samuraibeluga3749he's got to be such a generic white guy
Lol yeah, my husband is super picky due to an eating disorder but he cooks dinner every night bc he grew up helping his dad cook and he likes connecting with people through cooking even if his body doesn’t like eating.
@@samuraibeluga3749 Yes. It’s his lack of respect for foods he doesn’t like. Cuz it’s one thing to be a picky eater, and it’s another thing to be a picky eater with no decorum. Also him calling their food differences “trivial” is just ignorance on his part cuz to so many people, especially given their cultural background, food is very important to who they are or what they enjoy.
“Hey girl” is also a common opener from MLM scammers. Equally dreaded. 😂
They are kinda on the opposite ends of the spectrum as well. One is giving you facts to make sure you're not taken advantage of, while the other......
That is what I expected, too 😂😂😂
No, MLM scammers open with 'hey girlie!' Which is arguably worse
I've always gotten "hey dear" LOL
Or boss babe! @@AletheiaNyx
I love when Arasha is on Reddit Stories, she always has such insightful empathetic takes (and also she's just genuinely incredibly entertaining and fun to watch)
same
Except for that one time where they were talking about someone naming their kid a butchered name but that was only one time
@@DulceReposa which episode was that?
I'm dying they're all matching colors and looking really good.
The first story... The guy isn't just picky he's actively being an asshole to everyone involved. Her, her friends, the waiter.
If the guy really cared for OP, he would be willing to make adjustments unless he has a health condition that forces him to eat limited food choices.
Being picky isn't the problem because everyone has specific preferences when it comes to food, how you express it will determine if you're on the level of ASSHOLE or RESPECTFUL.
And you can so clearly visualise the "face" hes making
What a goddamn child.
reminds me of the person who went to a fancy polish-hungarian restaurant and threw a tantrum because they didn't have ranch dressing, and then said their date was rude for being embarrassed of them
Asking questions about food isn't interrogation.
Needing to know the ingredients in a food is something I do because I’m autistic. I don’t think it’s being an asshole to ask questions about it, even very specific ones.
Trevor and Arashas color coordinated outfits ate💅🏼
beige single mother realness
right? lol
I was thinking the same thing
lol legit the "we are on a date" landed because everyone matched. like shayne is the third they're dating 😂 they just all look nice, its not weird!
everyone's just wearing white lol whatt
I've always thought Shane was one of the most gorgeous men I've ever seen, but Courtney is bringing a new kind of happiness out of this man. He looks happy, healthy, loved, and it looks so good on him. After being in a toxic relationship for LITERALLY ten years, learning so much about healthy love and communication from here has helped me grow immensely. Watching it unfold before my eyes? Magical. Can't stand it. Love them endlessly.
casting a chef and a picky eater and right out the gate a story about a picky eater and a chef? great casting emily
And Shayne is in the between.
Not a chef, but more adventurous food-wise than Arasha is.
wow shayne is speeding towards the tommy cut
@@mexican-salsa-yes the transformation is almost complete ✨
That’s what happens when you listen to brat.
Bi wife energy
That’s what happens when u have a bi wife, ur taste becomes immaculate
He looks like Julien now.
Maybe Courtney can replace Jenna… Not that anyone could. But they’d come so close. ❤
Mindblown Trevor : is that why they call it reddit ??
Shayne: No.
This killed me hahahahahha
25:52
I feel like it is the reason though 😂
@@ComedyGlor me too don't worry hahaha the instant denial of Shayne is what made me laugh so much
@@FordTheWeirdo haha yeah it was hilarious
@@FordTheWeirdo and trevors face XD
As an adult with ARFID, the guy in the first story absolutely sounds like he has it and maybe just doesn’t know what it is. However, his behavior and comments about what others are eating were completely disrespectful and not okay.
completely agree
agree, dude was an ass but I thought it was weird that OP diagnosed them as not having ARFID then described avoidant & restrictive eating behavior. Also sad that no-one, OP or otherwise, gave him the benefit of the doubt that his social boneheaded-ness could result from a history of not being able to connect over food.
I was guessing autism. Plain foods like pasta with butter or a plain cheeseburger sound right up the wheelhouse of a lot of my fellow autists who have sensory issues with taste or textures and might be very hesitant with trying new things. I didn't know what ARFID was but I just looked up a brief description and it also sounds very possible yeah.
Same, adult with ARFID. It super sounds like he has it, and I think that generally people aren’t well-informed about the condition and the fact that it’s more than picky eating and definitely not a choice. BUT his behavior is so rude! Making comments about her colleagues’ dishes (I frequently say - and mean - that a dish looks or smells wonderful but unfortunately i can’t eat it, or I just… don’t say anything), pestering her for a week after she ended things, “interrogating the waiter” (i’m not sure how severe this actually was- could have been skewed from her perspective)… all red flags, and it’s clear that he doesn’t respect her or her profession.
@@CaptainJellyBS maybe it’s just a pet peeve of mine but idk why someone who has known another person for less than a month and is not in the medical field would think they know about a persons conditions or lack thereof
imagine all of ur trusted friends lying to u like that jesus christ wtf that would destroy me mentally dude so glad they had a happy ending
I kinda had that happen, it was devastating. Turned out one of the friend group is actually super manipulative and narcissistic and that was rubbing off on everyone else. We all cut contact with that person over time and have slowly trying to build trust up with each other again
i don’t know if they’ve done it, but an episode on friend group horror stories would be great
Listening twice, hearing Shayne’s presentation of the “friends orchestrate a lie to hook up our friend” story, really impresses me. He so subtly hinted towards the update while still maintaining wonder .. swag
Having your best friend as your partner is a breath of fresh air. My best friend and I are getting married next year.
W
Congratulations! ❤️
Congratssss❤ I hope this will be and my bf
arasha dancing professionally around the word boner and then trevor coming in with "I think the level of stiffness has something to do with it" hahahahahah
20:36
5:58 For anyone who wants to try a sushi restaurant and has these concerns; there are both nigiri and maki roll sushi variations that are cooked and you can find them at most sushi places, in addition to noodle dishes like udon or soba if you don't like seafood.
I was pulled into the reddit rabbit hole after that woman who was like " my husband won't let me have a painting my dead sister made cause he's her widower" I saw it on Twitter and my jaw hit the floor. You married your dead sister's husband and the painting is what you're worrying about. I've forgotten how many years it's been since but I haven't looked back.
Whaaaat
Thats crazy 😳
@@daisyd3w3491 look it up I wish I was lying
???😯😯😯
Honestly, this doesn't surprise me... Reminds me of a post how a guy wasn't okay with his dad dating his aunt, considering the fact his aunt was his dead mom's sister...🫤😕🙁
Shayne, you gotta start saying, “I submitted this story… for our show.” 😅 Every time you just say the first part, everyone thinks it’s your story. Arasha was so shocked for a second! 😂
Saaaaaame! I always first hear it as "I wrote this and sent it in", even though I know by now that he doesn't mean that!
Or better "I found this one and sent it"
Well he's not saying "I posted this story" which is what it's called on reddit. But ya I do get what you're saying lol
I love Arasha in reddit stories. She plays devils advocate without being "devils advocate" she considers all perspectives
You're one of the few... Cuz when you consider some of these perspectives of these stories is just childish and evil
Arasha’s analogy (I hope that’s the correct word lol) about relationships being like an “A” and “H” it’s so good🥹, she’s so wise!
I loved that so much too!!!
Awwhh, I love how happy Shayne looks when speaking about Courtney and getting to call them his wife
Yessss it's so cute, i love them
2:20 😍
is Courtney non binary?
@@cloroxholic 😂😂😂
@@cloroxholic they are but she has stated and said that they don’t mind being called his ‘wife’ and they are fine with that.
Trevor seems like such a reasonable and thoughtful sweetheart of a person. I bet he's an awesome friend.
I was honestly kind of shocked to hear that Karlach was the point of contention in the second story and not Astarion. The number of relationships that man has destroyed is staggering
There's an oversaturation of vampire twinks in media to the point that it's almost a trope. Not enough Demonic muscle mommies. This must be corrected.
@JCWM2
FACTSS
Lmao that's what I was thinking too. I'm surprised for once it wasn't Astarion breaking a couple up, that vampire elf causes irrational jealousy in men to a degree I have never seen before in my life.
in one case i heard of wyll doing it. bi guy was playing with all the characters naked cos haha horni and his gf freaked abt him being bi and left. dodged a bullet there lol
Yes, my ex-boyfriend and I got into a fight about Astarion once!! It was extremely stupid, but he was jealous I liked his character so much and started making jokes about Astarion being enslaved which I thought was incredibly unfunny at the time 😭 Absolutely the dumbest thing I've ever gotten into an argument about, but his character sure does make couples fight 💀💀
OK that group of friends convincing the girl to break up with her boyfriend was insane and vile. Jesus christ that was awful. That was honestly one of the worst stories I've heard
I swear I’ve heard that story on one of these videos before
@@david-jonballinger6638 I think it is doing the rounds currently on multiple podcasts, I heard it first on Two Hot Takes
that whole story has romcom written all over it, especially with the update. actually, now i want to see that romcom... although i think i've seen a romcom where "alex" is somehow the good guy, and i don't need that at all ever to happen in my life
@@david-jonballinger6638 there was one where the woman's sorority sisters/college friend group all lied and said her long term boyfriend was a cheater. Broke up the family friendship and the ex was nearly disowned. She finds out that they lied because he was too boring. Her ex is happily married with kids and when she tries to reconnect he declines but accepts her apology.
@@david-jonballinger6638 they had a similar story before but that one happened in uni and years (i think 10??) later op found out but the ex already moved on with a whole family. op was trying to ask if theres any chance of getting back together lol
that analogy Arasha said about A vs. H & co-dependency... blew my mind. Arasha is such a gem on these Reddit stories, would love her & Damien on together, would just be the most reasonable takes the whole episode
I had the SAME exact experience as Trevor in highschool. Junior year my closest friend convinced everyone else in the friend group to stop talking to me. One day I had friends and about a week later I had noone. Took two years for one person to finally admit what happened.
I had a really similar one too. No one ever specifically told me what exactly the things said about me were (I think along the lines that I was annoying maybe?). But I was 14 and all of sudden had no friends and was so isolated and lonely. As much as I wish no one had that experience, it’s still a relief to know that I’m not alone
Its crazy to hear shayne was nervous about dating cause hes both very good looking and exceptional at talking to people, learning about people, and keeping conversations interesting. Hearing he had similar anxieties as me just makes me love him more
He has talked about it a lot in the past on the podcast and the older show he did with Ccourtney (HAH!) called Why we're bad at dating. Very solid and relatable stuff
He short so it evens out . If he was tall it woulda been too much power and it woulda went to his head 😂
@@moyaxoxo5923but his face carddd
Last story almost had me in tears. I've had a situation similar where someone lied about me, friend group believed it, and I was pushed out. I'm glad they had a happy ending.
Yeah, and he accepted it. Both of them had a relationship after that and didn't work out. They should write a novel.
That story is like if Lala Land went the way we all wish it did
If people who know and like us believe lies about us, they either don't know us or like us. It is a good way, though hurtful, to flush out bad relationships from our lives.
@neliaferreira9983 When there are 6 people saying the same thing, you logically have to consider what they are saying is true.
@@christiancoleman4915 even if it’s definitely a lie? What is even your “point” here, that’s literally not how the story went down…
I love when Arasha is in an episode. She’s smart, thoughtful, and not overly dramatic. Her comments are definitely something worth listening to.
Why is she sitting in the middle of the couch though
@@Danno. yeah I noticed that too 🤷♀️
She's thoughtful but she's also had some weird viewpoints or comments during these reddit videos. During this episode she straight up said that when it comes to not handling rejection well, it's often times men. 🤔
@@ericlenhart6343 Lots of cases of men murdering their partners after breakup, maybe she references that
Arasha is my favorite person to have on Reddit Stories. She is always so composed and eloquently expresses her opinions with the highest empathy. You can tell she is someone who has high emotional intelligence.
Seriously! I don’t know if it’s something she thought of or read/heard somewhere but the simile about relationships being like an A or an H was profound
You must not be paying attention because there's been like 30 different instances of clear bias and even more of emotion based opinion without any influence of reality
@@ocarinafrek Uhm... they're humans... We're all gonna come with emotions and biases built in. Anyone who think they don't make me weary. What IS important is being able to listen to and consider other viewpoints after your initial gut reaction and she's great at that. Sometimes to a fault!
Yes! Even when I disagree with her, I always understand where she’s coming from because she’s so measured and thoughtful in her responses!
If you like Arasha a lot you should check out her podcast spitball
my boyfriend came home with a kitchen mat one day and said “i know you wanted one and i remembered while i was at the store, so i picked one out for you.” that’s my version of “if he wanted to, he would” it’s the simple things🖤
Anyone getting flashbacks from the last story to the Mac and Jackie episode, where a woman's best friends also tricked her into breaking up? This is truly the happy ending that story never got. I'm so glad she was able to find out a year later, and not decades.
I never heard that story maybe her friends thought oh she'll brake up with him naturally and when that didn't happen they decided to FORCE her into a BRAKE UP with her BOYFREIND I bet her high school besties have this unspoken rule that your not allowed to DATE anyone outside our FRIEND GROUP which is an INSANE unspoken rule to have I've heard reddit stories where what you described happen only for the person who planed it to end up with the person their friend had and that's why they did it they wanted this person to be theirs and since their friend had them they cook up this weird plan to make sure they get the result that they want NOT caring who they hurt in the process
Was that story about the "psychic" best friend? If so, I don't think them getting back together would've been a good idea.
videos like this one show why i love arasha. she's a very active listener and her responses are well spoken and thoughtful. pair that with shayne's hosting skills and psychology background and trevor's humor and perspective and you've got a great combo for this series. one of my favorite reddit stories videos by far from smosh.
I want to cry for the last one! Happy tears! Read the first post a couple weeks/months ago and im glad to hear the update 😊
Hi! Someone who is a picky eater and has sensory issues here! The OP is NOT the asshole! As someone who sticks with what they know, AND struggles eating certain textures, I still try my best to try new food! And would NEVER talk about how gross your food looks or other food looks unless you were an incredibly close friend that knew i was joking. What Jake did was incredibly rude and embarrassing. AND he also DOESN'T get the right to be all rude and talk about how gross the food is and then get MAD at her for that being a reason she doesn't want to date him.. jesus..
as someone who is autistic and also struggles a whole lot with food Id put money on that guy being on the spectrum, the picky eating and the poor social skills are big signals.
@@lissjester5890 I sorta agree with this as someone who is also on the spectrum, but he is the asshole for treating her like that in the end.
@bonkershonkers7257 oh absolutely, I always say my autism is an explanation not an excuse.
@@lissjester5890 literally same!!
Arasha "Im a very picky eater"
Shayne :" I dont think i knew that"
PTSD Flashbacks to the Arasha What would arasha do video
Arasha’s going to start reading her character bio to all her “friends” after that
@@andrewt329 Brother they're coworkers calm down
I lowkey relate to that tho. I don’t know what it is about my communication style, but I’ll still have close friends (whom I’ve known for *years*) be caught off guard by some basic facts about my life/personality. It just be like that sometimes. But yeah, they are also just coworkers lol.
@@stuFF625 Arasha's very organized and sometimes being very organized throws people off of their intuition so when you ask something personal they go for more of what feels like your sense of humor.
@@MaximusChivus Coworkers who's job it is to be friends but go off.
every time i see shayne's ring and remember he and courtney are married it makes me smile, they're so cute together and so in love
hearing Shayne talk about how much he disliked dating reminds me of the video where he puts on his date persona and freaks Courtney out
Which video is this?
Which video is that? I need to see this
@GracieGorbo I think it was the first Why We're Bad At Dating
@@ibpersonit was definitely one of the videos in that series, i think you’re right that it’s the first but i can’t remember exactly
Just be careful guys, those were older videos so please forgive them if they day something that upsets you 😣 just be on guard and enjoy 😁
I feel the worst for Josh in that last Reddit story. One of my greatest fears, for no real reason because I’ve never experienced it before, is having lies spread about me and other people believing them. People these days are so quick to jump at any opportunity to assassinate a person’s character, and that scares tf out of me. Thankfully the accusations against Josh weren’t any more serious, but the poor guy has had to live with the knowledge that a lie was spread about him and everyone believed it, including his girlfriend. His relationship was ruined, his character was tarnished, and all because a group of people wanted his girlfriend to be with someone else? Sheesh.
Just got to the Baldur’s Gate story, and after they explained the two characters to Arasha, I had a thought…
Shayne guess Smosh’s BG3 Smashes and Passes.
Have each person put a short list of party members from the game they’d smash and pass on.
He wanted the real reason and decided he didn’t like the reason. Even if I was siding with him at any point, that’s the deal breaker. Don’t ask for honesty when you can’t handle it
Only one story in, I love the silly episodes but I also deeply love when the three people in these videos can have mature productive conversations about the stories.
Great line up this week.
Arasha always brings this open minded energy and sparks such interesting conversations she’s my favorite person to be on the couch for these
Watching these folks work through their thoughts and feelings in a group setting makes me happy. Humors aside, it's just beautiful to watch these people grow.
‘Gaslighting’ is often misused these days, but the “lying boyfriend” story was ABSOLUTELY GASLIGHTING
how was it gaslighting? genuinely asking, I just thought it's about making someone question their sanity. I guess the friends made her doubt her judgement of the bf but I would hesitate to call it gaslighting. what makes you so certain?
@grsspal i mean they definitely gaslit the bf. They had a confrontation with him in front of her and called him a liar to his face even though he wasn't, and they all knew he wasn't. Thats like textbook gaslighting behavior.
@@Amachiii idk, a pretty necessary facet of gaslighting is making someone doubt their sense of reality and second guess their own experiences/memory, typically as a means of exacting control over them. It doesn't sound like that's what they were attempting to do to the bf and he never seems to have doubted his own innocence either. It sounds like they were just straight up lying in front of him and trusting that 6 vs 1 and their history with op would be more convincing than his denials. The way they manipulated and lied to op was definitely more akin to gaslighting, though I'm def not qualified to say if it would actually be considered such.
Gaslighting is like a specific kind of lying that makes you question your sanity, this is just lying
For example if they tried to convince the boyfriend thwt he was remembering what happened wrong that would be gaslighting
as someone with ARFID. that guy was totally going too far with his. I personally don't understand people who are adventurous with their food choices, but that doesn't mean it's alright to act disgusted about it or call it weird. Good for her for calling it off. Even without the fact that they have different values, he just seems like a disrespectful prick.
Exactly. They were incompatible, but even if they weren't, he was just ruuude!
yeah saying food you’re unfamiliar with looks weird needs to stop after elementary school 😅 a 30 year old man?! i mean… he’s got a lot to work on 😭
Yes! I'm a picky eater. I have a lot of sensory issues. But I don't ever shame anyone for eating what they like.
This comment made me look up what ARFID is, I think I may have it too. Thanks for sharing!
i honestly relate to the first story so much, my last boyfriend could barely eat anything that i would cook or bake because he was allergic to sugar and gluten, and liked maybe 3 foods (one of which was chipotle). i’d offer to cook for him (at his home with his ingredients so it’s 100% safe for him) and he’d shut me down every single time. i’m a baker and i love to cook for people, so it’s really hard to not be able to make food for the ones i love
Arasha is so insanely good on these reddit episodes. She is just so down-to-earth and insightful
Honestly im so glad shayne talks about his anxiety towards dating (and in general) because i have the same problems and it makes me feel less anxious
Idk how you even date.
In highscool one of my friends started a rumor that I called another friend fake. Over the weekend I lost all my “friends”. But it lead me to some of the best people who are still in my life over 15 years later.
For the first story as a picky eater myself I at least push myself to try a dish when someone asks because that’s the kind thing to do, my boyfriend still loves cooking and i will occasionally try food if he makes it, Arusha made such a key point with the pickiness he made it a them thing rather than a him thing. As a picky eater I try really hard to not burden other with it and go to resturants even if there’s not necessarily an entree to eat I’ll nibble on a couple things
True true. Unless you're allergic to something, give certain foods a chance. You never know what you might like? I never would have had a wide food palette if I was willing to taste them before giving my thoughts.
The version I heard in a managing depression course was "feelings are always valid, but that doesn't make them true". Helped me a lot
Also that even though all feelings are valid, you don’t have to act on them. And that feelings are transient so even if you’re feeling low, it won’t last forever.
It happened to me too Trevor! worst part the person lying was my best friend since grade school. Who had been doing it for years not just me but about everyone in the group. She wanted to control the friend group and be able to push out anyone at any time. I literally was unable to make new friends for 8 years.
For the first story, imagine if she pushed past this and continued to date him. She never gets to go try new restaurants with him. He is always going to be the one picking meals or they would be cooking separate meals. It isn't even about the pickiness but the disrespect towards everyone else trying foods he doesn't like. I love that they noted that early on in dating, it doesn't have to be a big reason to stop dating them. You could just not be feeling it anymore and that's okay!
I think for someone who is autistic (which it seems he might be without knowing it, having what clearly seems like undiagnosed ARFID and the like), getting no solid answer on something is not acceptable. We typically don’t settle for nonanswers, requiring something that makes sense to move on. Flashbacks for every autistic kid to “because I said so.”
@@KittyKatAspen I don’t even think that’s just an autistic thing. I‘d hope people all across the board agree that being truthful to someone you don’t intend to speak to again anyway is more helpful than just leading them on. What a cowardly way of ending things.
@@levischorpioen how is anyone supposed to learn how to have better and long lasting relationships without feedback. I just think OP is unreliable, it seems like she just doesn’t understand things that are genuinely not obvious to someone who isn’t around these things. I just felt really shitty after that first story because it felt like everyone blindly agreeing with a biased OP. I just kinda understood and felt bad for the guy in the story. It felt like he was driven to a far worse point than he should’ve and chastised for it.
@@KittyKatAspenFrankly no one owes anyone they’re not married to an answer if they want to break up. Early dating is a test period and even if he wasn’t a picky eater she’d be valid to break up for any reason. Your comment seems a bit short sided or perhaps even manipulative
@@KittyKatAspenThat's what it seems like to me too. I still think he's ta more for handling it poorly. I also cam understand that poor handling from personal experience. Especially bc of the environment I grew up, no one taught me better. Still, at some point it's important to learn not to harrass people and leave it be. I agree with top comment that its not even about the food but how he handled things.
Right on, Shayne! I’ve seen so many bad relationships where one person set the bar too low because they were afraid to be alone. Desperation makes for bad choices.
Shayne's aesthetic in this video is EVERYTHING 🔥🔥🔥 He ate
The A and H relationship thing Arasha came up with is so golden like I feel like I just went through therapy
As a picky eater (I've gotten WAY better over the past few years), I understand that my picky eating can be super inconvenient and strange to others. I would NEVER complain or make rude comments about the food that's being provided! If it's legit stuff that I really will not eat (like anything with onions, for example, I will not be adventurous with), I will just make an excuse like I already ate. No big deal!
I'm new to this show and I'm so into it, I've been watching you guys like a marathon, it's helping me improve my comunication skills in my relationships and reflect on some of my behaviors and actions. I really like this girl Arasha Lalani she's so nice and careful with her words, so sensitive and reasonable and truthful, sending you guys lots of love from Brazil ❤
Arasha is a paragon of empathy, she always breaks down the situations so well
i appreciate how in the first story OP clarified that the guy didn’t have ARFID or anything. I’ve struggled with ARFID my whole life and often times people just think it’s “extreme picky eating” and i was worried my feelings were gonna get hurt lol
Honestly I don’t think you’d be that person anyway because it would be fine if they were just incompatible, but he seems very judgemental which I hope you can’t relate to!
Not sure how much they hung out together outside of the dates. His behavior (being judgmental and rude) would manifest in other aspects of his daily life. It's ok to ask restaurant staff about their food but if it's a recurring behavior, I imagine the average person would take it upon themselves to look into the place ahead of time. Being rude to service providers (waiter's in this case) is just a red flag.
@@tanvirrahman7339 yeah i always look at a menu in advance when i go somewhere so i know if they have safe foods of mine
ARFID can manifest in so many ways, but whatever people’s opinion on how yours manifests, how you feel about it is valid and you’re not being difficult! ❤️
@@itsbethlol_ you are so sweet thank you 😭
Here’s my idea for an episode: best of updates, ever story has an update (or several, the more the better) but you don’t tell the guests what the theme is until they just figure it out
Trevor accurately foreshadowing the 2nd story was INSANE 💀
The buffet in the first story sounds like such a dream to be a part of I'm so happy she left him.
GET YOUR PANCAKES OUTTT (I burnt mine 😅)
its 20 oclock
You can have some of mine, I prepared extra for such an occasion 🤲🥞
9/11/2011
@@unsolved86 thank you, you fine gentlewoman/gentleman/gentlethem o7 🥞
@@YourUnrulyServant it's 19 for me but it's never the wrong time for pancakesss
My problem with the first guy is he's coming at everything with a negative "weird, I don't trust things with to many ingredients" instead of a positive "interesting, I've never seen that before" you can be picky without being hateful
As a picky eater I have a very different reaction to it than the first guy. I'm always so very jealous of people who like all these different foods and ingredients. Whenever I get a sandwich or a hotdog or a burger, my friends all have these delicious and pretty looking dishes, and I've got meat, cheese, and sauce. Pasta dishes with all these cool ingredients and I always just have noodles, sauce, and meat.
I’m planning on asking a girl out on Tuesday, but I’ve been stressing about it a bunch since I’ve never asked anyone out before. Basically, you guys posted this video at the perfect time for me.
Be confident! Youve got this! If they say no remember it’s not the end of the world, and were proud of you for trying and putting yourself out there!!!
You got this :) I’m sure it’ll be great. And if it doesn’t work out, that’s ok too
Good luck I believe in you, hun!
The worst that can happen is rejection, and even then that isn’t a bad thing! It just means you aren’t their match, and when you find yours it’s like a spark inside you. You can do this and I wish you luck!
Best of luck! Hope it goes well!
Hey! Someone with arfid here. I'd like to clarify that my disorder hasn't stopped me from adding various foods from other cultures as long as it was on my safe foods list, especially mainly Korean food, Middle Eastern food, etc. It depends for every person but I'm always down to try a little bit of foods I haven't eaten yet and evaluate if I can add to my safe foods list or not. Anyways, the first story was very insightful as despite my disorder food is a huge connecting factor for me.
Edit: Every person with arfid* and a lot of Mexican food would be on my safe food list too omg
As someone with autoimmune diseases and a tonne of allergies im fairly restricted in what i can eat! The first story wound me up because ppl act like if you had a condition that somehow that behaviour is more understandable or acceptable: incorrect. Food is a huge deal, perhaps even more so if you are restricted for any reason, and having the highest respect and love and care for someone in your life around food is a huge connecting or disconnecting experience. If i dated someone where food was a big deal (& i have) it can be a beautiful way for us to spend time and effort around food for us to enjoy it safely together and with love, rather than it being a problem or somewhere for disrespect or resentment to grow.
@@joleneonyoutube you made some really good points. I agree
@@joleneonyoutube I’m begging of you, please don’t take my man.
(I have the urge every time I see or hear the name 😂😭)
Having a "safe foods" list when it's not for allergy / health reasons just sounds so ridiculous and childish. I get arfid is a disorder of sorts, but I can't help thinking Jeeez just grow up. I can appreciate how insensitive this must sound to arfid sufferers, I'm sorry. I've never said any of this outloud and I never will - but I'm judging hard, internally 😅
@@joleneonyoutubeYep! My feelings about that were initially on the "why make such a big deal out of someone not being comfortable eating things?" until he kept pestering her and handled things very poorly. I'd say he's the ahole here. I also wish more people wouldnt make a big deal out of food, for whatever reason. Medical or not, if someone is uncomfortable with new foods or certain foods or whatever, there's a simple solution in letting them bring a safe food in the first place. Everyone gets fed that way. As for wanting to share the love of various foods, that I can see as being a dealbreaker for a relationship. I'd just say be careful to not be judgemental about that difference.
Arasha trying to delicately explain the Baldur's boner "inspiring such... um... physical outcomes" 😅 had me wheezing!
trevor’s story at 47:42: i had something similar happen to me as well, but it wasn’t a slow push. it still affects me to this day. being essentially exiled by an entire group of friends for something you literally did not do is devastating
I know it’s been said many times, but I seriously love Arasha’s input in these videos. She has so much wisdom and the best advice!
9:19 WHY interrogate the wait staff if you KNOW you will order the most BASIC food on a kiddy menu?!?
Arasha is so wise. I love when she's on because she thinks about every perspective and gives amazing explanations. I need a friend like her fr
as someone with ARFID, I was so glad that the person in the first story mentioned it.
I feel like so many people on reddit (and in general) judge people based on eating habits when they don’t know the whole story.
We need more people to have ED awareness :)
that being said, that guy was definitely kind of an asshole
My thoughts too. Like I'm very picky, I'm autistic and it was hard keeping me fed as a child, but you don't call other people's food gross or make comments about how it looks. You try it, discretely spit it into a napkin if you don't like it and can't swallow without heaving, and eat the bits you can without making a big deal. Then you buy fries on the way home.
On the last story I was so hoping there would be an update, I was gonna be so sad if there wasn’t. There was still like 10 min left and I was thinking there’s gotta be an update…and then Shayne said, “update” and I literally yelled, “YESSS!” 😂
It’s honestly devastating sometimes when a juicy story doesn’t have an update lol.
Please do a pit theatre episode on Arasha's story if she's comfortable😢angela's dramatic reenactment of those chats lives in my head rent free❤
Arasha with the "A" versus "H" analogy with relationship comparisons was really amazing!
The 1st story hit me hard bc I also left a first date early bc of someone’s picky eating. In context we went to go get Bao which was delicious, when we brought it back he said that it looked weird and didn’t even try it and said he’ll just give it to his family to eat. As a foodie that ended it right there bc not even trying something and just ordering it just to please me was not something I’d like to continue.
I'm a picky eater cause i have the texture issues autism, but i like trying new foods at least lol
the exception is if there's certain ingredients that i know i don't like and it's a strong enough flavour that i know i wouldn't be able to enjoy a dish like i can't eat cilantro, i have the "cilantro tastes like soap" gene and it ruins my eating experience. and with a peanut allergy that also eliminates an entire culture of food and that makes me sad.
but even i wouldn't be able to date anyone who's so picky they refuse to even TRY something new like, A BITE, please?? 😂
It's so weird not even trying it. Like at least try it once, what if it's the best thing ever? I can't not know if it's good
I'm super picky cause of ARFID, but even i tried bao the other day! I was very skeptical but i use the three bite rule. If i still dont like it after three bites, then i feel safe in saying i wont eat it.
I’m a picky eater, but I’ll at least try things first before editing them off. Especially if it clearly matters to the other person I’m with. Though sometimes I can just look at something & tell I won’t like it
@@flarebear5346 To be honest, wouldn't try it either if I knew there was something I didn't like in a food. I wouln't say the food is weird or anything but but I wouldn't eat because I vomit easily. I think it's weird to force someone to try something past saying "please try it" once. If they're ready to eat it, then they will.
I also would understand if someone broke up with me because of my picky eating.
"I'm here for that beverage" aaaa screaming crying throwing up
About the third story, I listened to smth on a podcast that really stayed with me and it’s similar to what one of the comments said. You set these boundaries, you would do yourself a dishonor if you look past it. Forget about him, you would be disrespecting yourself if you continued the relationship. You only have yourself at the end of the day, if you can’t reinforce your values and boundaries, then what do you have left?
Also I can’t stress enough how much I love Aisha. I love how everyone expresses in these videos, but there’s just something about the way she carries herself, the comments she makes and the way she makes them that I absolutely adore.
I know it's probably autocorrect or something, it's Arasha.
@@dumbledorf5029 no, I got her name wrong, thank u for correcting me
loveee arasha and trevor on reddit stories, their comments always come across so well worded and thoughtful while still being entertaining as hell
❌ Netflix and chill
✅ Reddit and get it 😂
10 minutes in the video and I can't focus cuz Arasha's hair is so GORGEOUS...
My thoughts on the first story:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a “picky eater” or only eating what you consider “safe foods”. My concern is how he comments on other people’s food choices and “doesn’t trust recipes with too many ingredients in it”. What does that mean? In my mind I’m worried this is diet culture, restrictive eating, or a full blown eating disorder. I was similar at the height of my ED and it is incredibly hard to unlearn commenting on other people’s food choices, especially when you were commented on yours your entire life. I hope that gets figured out for his sake, since negatively commenting on someone’s food choices isn’t going to just be a deal breaker in this relationship, but likely any relationship.
32:25 I think it's actually worse than that. I interpreted it as that he proposed to his girlfriend, had drinks to celebrate, then it showed up online the next day that they got engaged. So this all might have happened the actual night of the proposal
Happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
thanks man it was my choice 🎉
Love the show, you guys do great work
Was great having you, Leo! Your opinions on these stories were very respectable
I just think what you guys do here is great.
loved you on this episode
Arasha spoke so maturely throughout this whole thing! Makes me proud of my generation 💚
Do NOT date a picky eater if you love food. It will just cause resentment on both sides. Not worth it.
There is also a chance its a good match, especially if the food lover is a creative cook and loves to make things that work.. im picky, my ex is vegan and loves cooking. It worked well.
You know how in Smash Bros, Kirby can inhale people and then takes on aspects of that person’s appearance? I feel like Shayne did that to Tommy lol
Based & Smash-Pilled
Gotta love how everyone color coordinated their outfits❤
As an Autistic person, I’m always wary when Allistics use the term “picky eater” bc 9 times outta 10, the other person just has sensory issues or allergies. And plain noodles and butter? That’s a ‘Tism classic. That being said, she was right to end the relationship bc they’re not compatible, and his reaction was wildly out of proportion, bro needs therapy.
yeah I also thought "this guy needs to tell his dates about being on the spectrum"
Ok but being on the spectrum doesn't allow you to be disrespectful about what others are eating. Being autistic should not be an excuse of any rude behavior
My best friend is autistic and hates bland food, not everyone is the same.
@@Emma-gt5oewhere did the commenter say that it was?
I never thought about it like that, "if dating is the game then a relationship is winning at it" .
That's golden
Probably not intentional but it’s a how I met your mother quote
@@d4ce429which itself wasn’t the first place that was said. I’d heard the saying when I was younger before HIMYM was even a thing. Maybe not a super common saying, and it was definitely used in the show, but it didn’t originate there.
@@Zakemaster didn’t mean it came from HIMYM just meant it was in HIMYM