BTT # 101 - Getting Frame Back in a Relationship
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- Опубліковано 18 кві 2021
- Through a process of betatization through a thousand concessions, most men lose "frame" in a longer term relationship, and she stops or pulls back on things like intimacy, and stops respecting you.
Paul Benjamin, Rian Stone & Rollo Tomassi joins me tonight to talk about getting the frame back in an LTR. - Розваги
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how to get your audiobook for free bro
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Just concentrate on frame. If she doesn’t come back, oh well. . You are the prize and what you become with frame.
No frame, no hope!
"When you're silence inspires more dread than anything you can say then that's when you're an alpha" -Rollo Tomassi
Thanks Rich. I began listening to your content about a year ago. My wife cheated and took the kids and it hurts me so much into depression. With your advice, I hit the gym and kept focused on being the best version of me. A year after I see myself in a better space. Mentally and physically...
I'm from Nigeria, Africa by the way. Thanks!
Keep going king you'll win the end!
@sam yemen I'm fine.
Good bro ! Keep chasing excellence
I like Paul so much, he is giving tips in a rational, chill way, also pointing out what men can do better in stead of complaining about women more, like he is a positive person and doesn't seem mad or anything
He's good, yeah.
I’ve never regretted anytime I worked on myself.
def not f0r her!
effort better spent on yourself. the dividends pay off
My problem with all of this since the beginning is that everything is on the man to fix and perform. Constantly.
We are literally saying women are incapable of self reflection and making the correct choices for a peaceful and harmonious family.
So there are zero reasons to ever marry or believe they can love you as you love them gentlemen. They truly are children.
Hence leading the relationship, if she ain’t about it then see ya.
@Protherium Of course that is an issue. Though I wouldn't get married unless I wanted kids. Though dread works and then after that a critical analysis on what is worth it and what isn't. Or you can not do anything and suffer.
All the problems disappear once you have full frame of your life and don't tolerate no bullshit. Put all your energy towards that and everything becomes insignificant. No outside force can touch you if you work on yourself in that sense. Fuck everyone else. Life your life, respect the reality truth and facts, love yourself, accept everyone who also loves themselves and reject those who do not and game completed
@Protherium yes up to a point. Simply because you can't love anyone until you love yourself first so that's why it's important to go from yourself always. Not saying leave women lol that's nonsense, simply go from your own mental point of origin and what's best for you. Which will be the best for everyone actually because if everyone cared about themselves first the world would be a better place. Most people hate themselves therefore hate the world too
If my girlfriend doesn't live up to my expectations then I will find someone who will, but they do need to improve sometimes too
Who knew Richard Cooper had such a kick-ass taste in music? Suicidal Tendencies, NWA, Snoop Dogg. Nice.
If you're in your 40's plus that is when that music came strong.
That generation really had the best of everything as far as art is concern🤷🏽♂️🤙🏽
Improving your own SMV is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
First round picks right here brothers!
Honesty and respect is the frame. Decorate it with a sense of humor and flex your muscles while you're at it🤘💪
...lmao.
@@DamaniJones Is that your frame?
After you lose frame, the approach of removing your time and attention will only work if your woman really still wants to be with you. Otherwise, she will leave.
Than let her leave.
Doesn't matter. If she leaves, so be it but most of the time dogs chase anything that runs from them without thinking about why they're chasing it.
@@greatredshrike1234 I'm not concerned with her leaving if she is just a GF. I'm concerned because if she's your wife, she can do major damage to you when she leavea.
@@dmark2639 well of course. Hell, I had a GF manage to snag a house from me so there's still potential damage on that front as well. When it comes down to it, you don't lose much from attempting to regain frame. You're guaranteed to never get it back if you don't try and even if you fail it's practice for the next one.
@@dmark2639 but the main point is they don't know or think about why they want things. They just want what they can't have and once you become what they can't have they want you without thinking about it. Your logic is sound but it's just that, logic. The emotional aspect drives their desires in the face of logic alot of the time.
The comrade of Rule Zero is the glue that keeps that group strong and vibrant.
Good show Richard, thumbs up...
Sometimes it's worth it. I've had my women test me in a few ways and try to have the control but when I back off or get to a point where she knows something isn't acceptable or I won't put up with it. She changes it and doesn't go back on her change. Had a few issues in the past 3 years she tried to fight me over. In the end I won and she hasn't gone back to anything I don't allow. She had different believes. There's a culture difference. Minor stuff but are deal breakers for me. She learned that and is to a point she prefers to do things my way. It's shows in her actions. Shape your women or let her leave. Always give consequences. Make sure she understands what's not acceptable and never will be. If she loves you. Shs will change.
I needed to hear this 30 years ago!
Guys I can't express enough how much I enjoy these and especially this particular conversation. Great group, very rational conversation with only the best intentions. I'm so thankful for rollo teaching me about rp and also you guys for having these absolutely amazing conversations based on it. Gold gold gold thank you.
If you added modern life dating and Andrew tate too and stream it like for4 hours about everything and go with the flow, the universe would dent even more lol
Awesome guys.
It's kind of funny how everything i "learned to learn" about girls and life tend to make me think "ahh those guys are to hard, it can't be that way" etc..., but at the same time, my male instincts make me feel like i just find gold, that you guys just give us a clear view on how things works.
Guys, it's good to purchase excellence, but don't fear faillure, because now, you got the knowledge to see where and why you fail. You can't beat up yourself and be a looser when you see that, you can only rise.
As I listened to the rational male and the unplugged alpha , I've come to realize, despite growing in a male dominant culture, that i still have a lot to learn with women. I'm 30 years old from Algeria by the way.
6 years ago i married a polish girl my age with daddy and ex husband issues. I guess I wanted to " save her " lol , she always spoke shit of her dad and ex and it was always their fault and I was always there with her validating whatever she said. One day ! I told her that she needs to own a bit the responsibility as as all the problems we face in life , we have a part of responsibility. I wanted her to loose that victim mentality aaaaaand you can guess what happened next !! I suddenly became one of those oppressor-men in her life and started treating me like shit.
Dude , one week after i stepped foot in poland , i packed my shit and went back home , and that's probably the best decision I made so far in my life.
Lol the best thing you can save is yourself, as you've learned the hard way but at least it's inprinted now on your mind, good luck in the future
@hocinebenay, you should have not married her, Algerian Muslim Cultures does not mix with Western Polish Christian values, you were not trying to " save her " stop lying to the audience, you were trying to dominate her, be honest Habib, I'm glad you pissed off from Poland, The biggest mistakes is when middle eastern, North African Muslim men try to sweet talk western women for sex and marriage, Marry your own kind, there would be less carnage in the world.
It's truly hypocritical that as an Italian Catholic man living in a Anglo Saxon country I cannot date or go out with a Muslim women, yet Muslim men expect sex and will push hard on western non Muslim women for sex
The Multicultural Social Engineering experiment HAS NOT WORKED, please go back to a Cultural Country in line with your values.
Third time I'm listening to this and it gold for me
A really good show tonight. Paul brings a fresh and different perspective to three guys I follow regularly.
Ooooooooomg...... So NEEDED this discussion!!!!
Love these guys together!! Each with a different pov on the same subject.
Awsum!!
rian is fucking brilliant. subbed just from his appearances on these
Yeah he's the relationship whisperer lol
The more you watch these the more you realize women have to be treated like children.
I love the internet. This is what most men need to hear.
I've gone to these chats n this is 1st that is on subject, thanks, it's good stuff.
Great show! I really appreciate how there are always useful lessons to internalise. I really need to try picking up girls- I've been focusing on chasing excellence for few years now and mostly ignored that aspect for that period.
Thank you, guys. Not only are you rescuing me in dating. Your rescuing me in life! O have REAL hope after the Red Pill 2.0.
The fact that this much thought has to be put into having a relationship with women is exactly why I no longer do it. It’s just not worth the trouble.
Great show!
These are epic!
Hey thanks guys, been very knowledgeable information!! 👍
Thanks guys !!!
Very helpful stream! Outright offering actionable advice to men. Awesome stuff!
6 1/2 minutes in, and what I'm getting is a regurgitation of: Who ever is least invested in a relationship is the one in power. So far, Never get oneitus for a woman, the goal is to have her have oneitus for YOU.
So…settle for a woman you’re not really attracted to-then she’ll be more invested in you than you are in her! Brilliant! /s
Just started Rational Male on Audible, looking forward into it, 14 hours of goodness!
You can't get frame back without triggering the discard. You have to be ready to go all the way to the bitter end, anything less and you won't have frame.
Do this again. A part 2 would be ace.
Subbed to every man on this telechat
I always hold tight frame even down to the simple...if we're walking in public she will walk beside me or let me lead...now she will shit test every once in a while but I never let it slip and she expects it every time
It's a bitch. What Rollo is saying around the 12min mark. Because being "necessitice" is what society teaches men. Hollywood, music, and even the majority of women, tell us to be that soft guy and that women are the prize, especially the ones who check the most of our boxes. But Rollo is 100% correct. As soon as you enter a relationship in that mindset, you've already lost. "Nice guys finish last" is often an overlooked term. It has been right all this time but many never understood the roots of "why". The things we allow because we believe that's what is required means that we will never be successful. Many men have lost something great, besides themselves, by allowing society to dictate how they keep her happy.
To the other side of this though; Women not understanding themselves, their nature, and hypergamy, has them thinking they want that too. They want the nice guy that will acquiesce to their will and treat them like princesses. But they don't...
And you guys all know that and now so do those who have found this movement. Thank you for clearing it up and getting us our sacks back.
Rian opened with his first rule of regaining frame, and that's where I'm at. I'm here, doing me, rebuilding and hitting the path to excellence, soon-to-be full stride, and if it brings her back in, awesome. Because she truly checks all of my boxes. But once I get to my apex, if she's still not fully back, I'm gone.
Again, thank you Gentlemen. Stay strong.
Timeless stuff here.
I don't try to "fix things." Once the girl acts out of line,I'm out.
Hysteric bonding is the female version of mate guarding.
Indifference is the difference.
what rollo said at at 16minute mark ! thousand papercuts , happens
SLAYEEEEEER 👹🤘
I would love to see a Rollo/Paul team up by themselves.
Paul is the new Pat Campbell 😁
Paul’s practicality has gotten me through as many hard times as Rollo’s information has. Seeing just the two of them would be top-tier.
Damn! After listening to this podcast i realized F’ed up in so many ways….
But what happens when you're in a LTR and you as a man have no desire for her? And find that it has always been like that with other women too? Banging a few times but then losing interest and wanting something else?
So many effin' games...is the juice really worth the squeeze?
Depends on how much you like juice and where you sit at smv wise.
If you really believed that then you wouldn’t be here. Learning about this and then not using it is like winning the lottery then refusing to spend the money. Life is about suffering. Trying and failing and ultimately succeeding.
@@danieledwards3318 I'm 50...I played the game for 20 years and thought I was winning, only to have it all taken from me in family court. No, the game is rigged, gentlemen. The only way to win is to go your own way and not play their game.
39mins into this… my ex wife and I went to counselor.. she only went to convince the counselor why we should get divorce but forgot to say she was banging her AF for 6 months behind my back..
Rollo for the noble peace prize !
Yes, then we could finally know his real name. Can't wait👏
@@corichang It's George MIller.
@@johnsaxon5154 Thanks👍
These guys are the worlds men coaches
😃 yay Frame!
And don't try to play Captain save a bro, despite a possible proclivity to want to red-pill your friends.
“Do not correct a fool, for he will hate you. Correct a sage, and he will appreciate you.” Bruce Lee 1940~1973
I am grateful because no matter how bad a day I may be having, I'm always the winner of the 50/50 gender coin toss. Have a stellar day gentleman.
My ex would apologize to me the next day after every alcoholic tirade, until it became everyday and apologizing was pointless.
Get her excited by having a backup play. Wether married or not they need to know other women dig you. Don't be afraid to flirt while she's around. If that doesn't work and your 2 kids in, it might be Chad from accounting getting it at the office. Women need mystery
Do you set boundaries at the start of the ltr when she asks "what are we" or do you set them as you go along to see what she'll do naturally
Day 1
Immediately. I've messed up a bunch of LTRs because they started casual and I didn't establish baselines at the beginning. You give an inch in the first 6 mos, then they take several miles 1.5-2 years in and they keep on taking afterwards.
@@greatredshrike1234 for sure, I remember letting an EX go party with her girls very early on... I think a few weeks later she dumped me. Lesson learned
Once I started to not take any shit or allow my self to me purposely emasculated, the looks keeps coming. Imma be rich, Rich🙋🏾♂️
Read the book.
Richard “read the book” Cooper
American women don't seem to respect at all now a days. I just can not see a reason to keep them around. Too much drama.
Eastern European or South American chicks are the way to go now. Everywhere else has been poisoned with feminism
@@barnastil591 I like Asian women so Thailand is great would also like to checkout Philippines. I would not bring them back to U.S. I would move there at least part time. Lots of single ladies there to travel with around the country.
The show is literally on frame. Addresses 2 of your 3 statements. The third is addressed by biology.
This is like watching Goodfellas.. Only the better version. Great episode from the one and only Richard Cooper !! :)
P.S. @18:25-18:45 , In my 12 year marriage, I never had that apology. That pissed me off back then, now I do know why I was pissed off, thanks to Rollo's explanation..👍
I like your advice better than Corey Wayne’s
I think of these guys as a continuation of Coreys work. Macro followed with a micro view, if you will.
What is the lyrical phrase from suicidal tendencies - you can’t bring me down?
Boom Baby 👶.
👍
This is pretty funny shit fellas, these dudes talking about women about how much they dont care about women its wild!
You're conflating 'women' and 'a woman'
Well the Bible puts it that way for men and women because upon marriage, upon that unity of becoming one, her body becomes his and his body becomes hers, because the body is the gift to the spouse, and it is unhealthy and definitely wrong to withhold from the other, using the common example of a woman saying that she won't sleep with her husband until he remodels the bathroom which is unhealthy for the relationship and it is cruel in general and she lost authority to her body when she gave it as a gift just like he lost the authority to his body when he gave it as a gift. It is meant to teach each other how to love each other better than they love themselves
So what happens later in life, when HE just isn’t up for sex very often (or maybe-eventually-at all)? Is she supposed to insist that he “owes” her the use of his body?
If you are talking about frame, you don’t have any
Totally!
Hey rich. Is your book helpful for married guys?
Well obviously....a lot of them are gonna end up divorced! Lol
100%
Absolutely, it is. It's more about instilling self confidence in men. Everyone should definitely read it.
Rule of life: She Might, But So The Fuck What If She Don't?!
You gotta threaten to take a 2 minute break to force them likes up. They’ll hit that like button when you stop talking about what they Need to hear and want to hear.
i have this already after 6 months lol
After you drive somewhere to read in a parking lot after a fight. She asks "where did you go?" Post good responses below.
Any non-answer that doesn't involve her.
"Reading in the park" which she won't believe.
"To shop for socks. Didn't find any I liked."
"My girlfriend's house."
"Birdwatching."
"Just driving around."
Etc. Or just say nowhere, and leave it at that. Answers she won't believe or you won't explain are the best.
Just ignore her. Silence is a perfect response
What is tge epiphany phase
You're truly an Alpha when you're comfortable in a tank top
Hello! Can someone point me to some info on the estrogenic consumer goods lowering testosterone levels?
Avoid all soy products.
@@michaelgoggins3658 Who says? I meant something like a proper study. I couldn''t find anything when googling.
nice sunglasses. really...
I don't get wtf you guys are talking about seduction in an ltr. You just be direct, if you get a rejection, f it leave and don't look back.
Hey what's up
would getting frame back work with BPD or narcisistic woman?
No. They aren’t able to allow you to be the alpha as they are too busy trying to be the alpha
Agree.
It works all the same. What's necessary at times is offensive to most guy's morals. 🤷
Stay away from these type of women, they will work to demoralise and destroy you constantly. They will only be happy as long as you are miserable.
David Dodge 😴 💤 Old guy at the bar yapping endlessly.
So, I'm kind of lost. Isn't the philosophy that it's time much better spent developing new talent than trying to get your frame back?
It’s better spent developing new talent then going back to an ex. Getting frame back is a little different and more for you then her. If you lost frame or never had it, then you’ll just repeat the same mistakes with the next girl.
Alot of guys are married and frame loss, even in LTRs, isn't always time to throw in the towel. The "developing new talent" line usually just applies to dead bedrooms or messing with exes.
Seeing Rich imitate a generic white chick was hilarious 🤣 mismatched libidos lmao
1:18:47 Paul malfunctions
Is Paul Brock Lesnar's brother?
Whats Rollo's background education?
Hey Hey brovs....
Hi guys, can sometime tell me what “dread” is? Or is is “dred”? What is this term?
Dread. It's when she fears her replacement cause other women are attracted to you too so she always needs to be on top of her game because if she slips she will be replaced by those other women cause you have options and don't tolerate no bs.
Dread is her instinctual reaction to keep a man from other women by being the most pleasing one to her man.
If you're married and obliged that she's the only one in your life, there's no dread anymore cause she no longer fears other girls will take you from her and from that point all bad things happen
@@andro3041 thanks for the reply. I figured it was something like that.
Dread is true. If she doesn't have "Dread" her hypergamy fantasy kicks into the passing gear
The 👍 button is a free tip
your hat is curved enough. 🇨🇦
My condoms are too small! Why didn’t I think of that??
22:30
21:31
10:54
If game works why dont dating coaches have sexy girlfriends ?
"Sexy" is relative and not the most important thing when a partner is concerned. Date a few 9s or 10s and you'll learn that the hard way.
I dont think ! You dodged my point.. If game worked they could effectively deal with the highly problematic ways of very attractive western women !
Most 9s and 10s are 1s and 2s when it comes to personality and wife skills. Not suitable for LTRs. You are better off with a pleasant 7 or 8 in the long run.
All of the wisdom here is the same wisdom of old, there is nothing new about humans. Get rid of your man cave and build a library. Don't fill it with fiction but history, religion, philosophy, biographies, autobiographies, personal development, and education books. You can have fiction but it is only a part of your library as a small part.
What is your real name, Rolo Tomassi??? Rational Male as a playoff of LA Confidential??? Very clever but could we please have some basic truth here??? Thanks
Thanks to John Jaxson. He said Rollo's name is George Miller.
What’s wrong with you?
@@DamaniJones as you are