INFJ ENFP Relationships - The Muse Relationship 😍
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- Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
- My thoughts on the INFJ - ENFP pairing and how it helps drive growth and self-awareness in a person, and also why some people have negative opinions on this relationship.
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/ erikthor
www.erikthor.com
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Hey! My name is Erik Thor and I recently started my own independent website exploring personality psychology, flow and neuroscience.
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I practice a mix of jungian typology and Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) Theory. I am strongly influenced by Neojungian Typology neojungiantypology.com. It's typology, but based on neuroscience and psychology. Join the community @ / discord
As an ENFP woman married to an INFJ guy for 20 years (we married young:) I can tell you that I am extremely happy, and I feel like our marriage has become more wonderful every year. It is a great pairing IMO, but not without its challenges. However, I think I would be bored if there were no challenges to "conquer" together. An INFJ can be quite controlling in certain circumstances, and and ENFP has to have enough spine to draw a firm boundary instead of running away from a conflict. An INFJ is much sharper with their words when angry than an ENFP and can become quite combative in an argument, (because they need to be "right" or get you to admit they are right even if they aren't:) also loves to give the "silent treatment" which is infuriating to the ENFP which can turn a small argument into a big one. (Ok this is MY experience;) but our parenting style is very similar in that we are more gentle and focused on who our kids are as people, and neither one of us favor an authoritarian approach, although if someone has to bring in the reigns a bit, it's him. I pushed him to follow his dreams, and he did, and he encourages me to not sell myself short. I don't believe there is any perfect relationship without struggles. I think that personality typing is a very useful tool in being able to understand your strengths and weeknesses, and thus become a better partner, and person over all. (Can you tell I'm an ENFP? I just wrote a book. Lol)
kelli reyna Honestly I didn't notice you wrote a book lol. I actually got mad at the phone when the light went out because I was reading your comment lol. Thats an INFJ for you; seeking insights.
Aww i love this. Thank you for sharing
You totally did! And I loved every single bit of this chapter. I am an ENFP, also married young to an infj and this will be our 18th year married and 20th together. I love and sometimes want to go inside his head and beat sense into him and then in 20 min I love him again. We had our challenges but nothing ever make us sleep away from each other. We have grown as people. Spiritual, mental and even financial growth, I won’t trade what we have with anything or anyone else. 😊
I think that is spot on. I am an ENFP and if there is so much as a hint of controlling, the small hairs on the back of my neck go up. INFJs are gentle but lind of blunt sometimes. If you give us time to think about it, we will reason it out and come your way, because although maddening the INFJ is usually... :sigh: right. The other thing is you guys sometimes take for-ev-er to say things. Meanwhile, we have the next thing lined up because our brains have a 60 foot screen flashing slides of our ideas. When the next slide comes on we forget the previous image, so making us wait for you is excruciating and frustrating when we can remember what we wanted to share. Let's not even get started on the conversations with imaginary people going on in my head simultaneously. Sometimes the only way I can hear myself think is to say it out loud. We are not decisive, so I don't know what he is talking about there. INFJs are the ones that have their minds made up. Just picking out a movie to watch is challenging because I at least want to try it to see if I will like it, but the INFJ is convinced that it will be trash just by looking at the title photo. But when we are both in flow at the same time, or each one is giving the other one food for thought, it is awesome. We also understand each other better than anyone else.
Arthur Pelchat Lord...the whole picking out a movie thing for INFJs vs ENFPs is too accurate. As the INFJ, it’s easy to predict whether a movie is good or not simply by the presentation of the trailer or the promotions and I always stand by my decision from there. My ENFP partner may question my stance or will attempt to convince me to give it a go, despite me having made up my mind about it. He likes trying almost all the options even if it looks just a little cool. It’s the possibilities that piques his interest. I like being challenged to step out of my head for a bit so sometimes I’ll give in. But what do you know, in the end, he agrees: If I say it’ll be terrible, I was right and we both know it. And vice versa. But it’s not really about competition. It’s the push we both give each other to grow. I teach him the art of discernment to save one’s energy and time. From this, he’s become more deliberate in his decisions. While he teaches me the beauty of potential, and trying things just for the joy of discovery. I enjoy his philosophy of suspending disbelief, and I’ve done more things that I would never dream of trying out.
The INFJ-ENFP relationship sounds a lot like teenagers falling in love. Scary, impractical, emotional but absolutely amazing.
It feels that way too lol
Yes, yes, yes. It's just a horrible and wonderful intensity, I'm a girl ENFP in love with a girl INFJ.
Hahaha I think so
I agree. I am 43 years old. Met my INFJ 2 years ago. And we are still in that happy go lucky almost childish vibe. Luckily - grown and mature as well. To me it is exactly THAT balance that makes our relationship so incredibly uplifting and great
My INFJ friend told me, “I admire you more every single day” and I really have to say the same for him!
Me (INFJ) and my partner (ENFP) are having the best kind of relationship one can have. This pairing is absolutely amazing. So open, so intense, so loving, trusting and sincere. Even if we fight (never very long), we find back to each other quickly and talk it through, always making that effort to understand each other. His temperament is even more intense than mine :D, but I love him and I know where he's coming from. This relationship is so beautiful and special that it feels like it's my first, cause I'm finally as happy as I ever wanted to be. And we're fiercely loyal towards each other. So for all you INTJs out there trying to snatch those ENFPs..there'll always be the perfect option for them: the INFJ :D it's fun, weird, unique, so deep, intimate and just so good.
I wish i could find an infj girl out there
Yeah I didn’t even want to fall in love. I was dead set against it. Yet here I am madly in love with my INFJ gf. She feels the same, actually told me first.
I AM AN ENFP AND I PREFER INFJ OVER INTJ
@@nobody2662 what an infj girl told you that she liked you first that's impossible
Manoj Jain. I’m not talking about her telling me she liked me before we dated. She told me she loved me before I said it to her. It almost made me put on my running shoes. Cause like I said I wasn’t looking to fall in love. Just wanted to share good times with a great girl.
My best friend of 30 years is an ENFP. We are like the two sides of a zipper. I provide depth and grounding, and she provides encouragement and inspiration. Mutual respect, good boundaries, and honesty with each other makes this a cherished friendship.
As an INFJ I was blessed with my ENFP sister, 18 months younger than I. She's still my best friend. But we are very different, and make eachother see things from another side. ☺
That seems to be making a cute relation(sibling)ship.
The relationship INFJ-ENFP it's based on mutual admiration, intensity and a deep, spiritual connection.
I'm a female ENFP with a male INFJ and we work off each other extremely well because we both agree to grow with each other. He helps me, I help him, its a very strong bond of trust and support but its not always perfect, especially when we have miscommunication. Overall, its amazing tho! ((:
Miscomms happen for us as well, which is funny, because ENFPs are among the best listeners, and INFJs are among the best communicators, so its easily solved as long as we just keep talking. The problem is when you stop talking to each others, I think, thats when the biggest misunderstandings happen.
Ooh Erik, that's a revelation!
I (ENFP) had a date with an INFJ yesterday. I was sad because I liked her and her body language seemed withdrawn and she had a sexy, controlled, but neutral tone that made me think she wasn't into me. But once the date ended she said she actually liked me immensely and the date ended with a kiss and scheduling a second. So weird but I'll take it.
Matthew Blom idk what it is with us, but if we act like that we like you a lot and find you very attractive, which is why we seem kind of tense and withdrawn because we are so dang nervous and don’t want to screw it up. Lol
I hope your second date went well! 🙂👍
@@artiscrutial It didn't but I found an INFP now which is an even better fit. 👌
We have a very hard time expressing ourselves, INFJ's are famously a bit anxious. Because we rule with Ni, we think a lot and are in our own heads. Our weak spot is our inferior Se, so we are often unaware of how unapproachable we seem, or how we are percieved. Our Fe tries to make us warm and relatable, but a lot of us develop our Ti first, making us less outwardly warm. It does make us hard to grasp or understand in terms of our feelings and motives!
ENFP with INFJ gf who literally ran from me the first few times I tried to talk to her. It was weird because she talked to me just fine when we where working together. (Not a job but at a place we both volunteer at). Finally I had the opportunity to ask her WTH was up with that? Was I some kinda scary creep? She said it was kinda the opposite, we’ve been dating for about a year. It’s been pretty freaking great.
I feel enfj are better than infj for an enfp
What are your thoughts
"There are things you can't predict and an ENFP is one of them." 👏 Thank you, wish I saw this video when I first started my relationship with ENFP!:)
Yaaaas 😍
I (ENFP) went out with an INFJ guy for a bit. It didn't work out romantically, but we mutually decided to be friends instead. Somehow, we really did become good friends though with absolutely no hard feelings between us, and it's truly become a unique friendship that I treasure!
All I can say is we ENFP-INFJ's need a lot of patience and understanding, but the connection is there and is a very strong one. Watching this video was like reassurance and there were some revelations too. Pretty spot on and super interesting. Thanks for this, Erik!
Honestly as an ENFP I like INFJs more than INTJ. I've encountered some INTJs I just simply wasn't fond of them 🙂
SAME HERE ,I DEFINITELY PREFER THE FEELING OF INFJ ,SOME INTJ LOOKS NARCISSISTIC TOO
INTJ and INFP are basically the same lol, one thinks that disregarding emotion for logic is a rational thing to do, and the other thinks that disregarding logic for emotion is a rational thing to do. but an INFJ will lead with their heart AND their head.
I’m an INFJ who likes ENFPs much more than ENTPs, even though the internet tries to suggest ENTPs as my type’s best match.
@@rymanshroomzorz Sim. Já ouvi falar que os INFJ's são os mais "thinkers dos Feellers"😅
as an enfp, my best friend is an infj and we get each other so well, i wouldn't trade her for the world
I'm ENFP lady married to an INFJ guy for almost 20 years now. It works and brings a lot of happiness. We see that world in a similar way and are very close. That said, the main tension is between my desire to get out, travel, have new experiences and his preference to stay home, think and nest. He might feel that my need to try to new things are just a frivolous waste of money, and I can't understand why he wants to amass collections of things -- books, art, records, etc., etc. We keep each other in balance though. It's worth trying for sure.
Depends on the INFJ tho. For some there'll be phases of thinking, figuring things out, and staying put in one places and phases of traveling and exploring when they are ready. Depends on the mental/emotional space they're in. As an INFJ myself I enjoy traveling and explore new places, esp. that feeling of bright eyed possibilities in my imagination, but I must confessed I often get disappointed while simultaneousy being able to appreciate things for what they are X). I once had the chance to travel and went solo backpacking throughout central Europe and northern Europe, France, Scottland, for over a month and some parts of Asia, and I loved it when I did. But there are times that I wouldn't enjoy traveling especially if it is forced. There's a time, place, and a season for it. And also personal preferences and goals of different individuals. Sometimes it depends on individual financial goals, like financial independence for example, maybe that's something your INFJ values. So it depends...
If you have the means to do so, I say do it!! 😉 but ofc remember that he’s sensitive to the energies and feelings of those around him and also an introvert (needing to recharge in isolation after being out for awhile), so maybe that’s why he’s hesitant on traveling
@@c.s.70 omgggggg frrrrr. I’m currently in a phase where I wanna get out!! I’m tired of the same old, same old 😂😂🤣🤣 INFJ here btw
it works if both people are willing to work towards self improvement, but its a complete clash if one of them isnt.
As an INFJ guy who's currently falling for an ENFP girl and who's best friend is an ENFP guy, I couldn't agree more. I see in this girl and guy a lot of what I try to be: spontaneous, fun-loving, but still in touch with the self. Loved this video Erik, keep it up!
An INFJ would never want to be what it's not. (have you even read about the cognitive functions to verify you are not mistyped?)
@@goldfishmemofish223 pretentious
"Muse relationship" is the most accurate way of describing my ideal relationship. I want to be inspired as an ENFP, and often, I feel that people do inspire me. I have not been able to type people like some people can, but if it's an INFJ that can curate inspiration, then right on✊🏾 also, I hope the best for you and your ENFP girlfriend 💛🙏🏾
My first serious relationship was with an ENFP women and I can say out of all the women I have dated i had the most fun and felt socially and naturally connected than any other type. Our struggle was that we were not mature in our types and when two feelers are not mature and struggle it becomes an emotional whirlwind, so I ended the relationship because I was suffering in my education and needed space. We connected instantly and still remain friends to this day. If we met at different stages in life we would be together a long time. Her extroversion and adventure (P) was very attractive to me when I was younger and too rigid and needed balance socially. It's one of the best pairs that exists but I believe the I and E as well as the similar F needs to be mature and understood from both parties.
(INFJ) I love ENFPs
And we love you back! Infjs are my favorite people in the world!
We love you too❤
Same here (INFJ)
Same 🥰
Im an enfp male with an infj female she is amazing we are always happy
You described it so well. I'm infj and an enfp guy I like is definitely the inside out version of me. I know that dating him will push me out of my comfort zone and be a good balance if I'm ready for it lol.
I feel enfj are better for enfp than infj
What are your thoughts
It's the infj and will always be.. others might be compatible but nothing can replace the love between INFJ and ENFP ❤
@@manojjainism it really depends on the person and their maturity, background, enneagram, etc. I’m an INFJ and dated an ISTJ, INFP (?-idk if he’s an INFP or INFJ), and an INTJ and out of all those relationships, I’ve felt more understood, loved, passionate, and calmed with my INTJ (surprisingly because I do NOT do well with Thinker types). However, he was more mature, thus, he was more open minded, was an active listener, knew how to calm me down, we had similar backgrounds, and his enneagram and love language was compatible with mine. I’ve had ENFP’s friends and really look up to them because they are what I hold inside of myself and they remind me a lot of who I was during my childhood. I really appreciate ENFP’s and wouldn’t mind dating one in the future if paths are crossed but again, it depends on the person really no matter the type
one of the most accurate description about INFJ and ENFP in real life
Married to my infj 14 years and we're still in love! He's my kite holder!
My best friend in life is an INFJ and I'm an ENFP. We understand each other on a completely other level. We always go to each ither for feedback, insight,, alternate perspectives, etc and keep each other in balance. I ended up marrying an INFP as we are both in tune with each other and can handle any emotional turbulence together. Learning the personality types of everybody has been interesting
UGHHH INFJS ARE SO FASCINATING :’) my ideal type, honestly. it’s a weird mutual understanding we have about most things, and that’s very special to me as an enfp guy who finds happiness in the ability to truly be myself which is how i often feel when with infjs that actually let me get close. in a lot of ways i can actually see how ni is my muse as im a person with an array of scatterbrained ideas (ne), whenever i get bursts of ni is when i finally follow through with an idea and start acting, so having someone there that pushes me to follow an idea or a passion is very inspiring and helpful and i appreciate it so much. my love language is deep conversations and infjs are like endless psychological, philosophical puzzles/partners/muses that i can have endless conversations with, and feel like we’re actually finishing each others sentences.
I rarely ever find infjs and i don’t have any in my life atm!!
soooooooo hmu?? c; LMFOAAOAOAOOO
I am an ENFP, and 2 of my best friends are INFJ's. I was friends with them before finding Myers-Briggs, so I guess we were drawn to each other naturally.
There was so much hope in this video. So many dead on examples of how my INFJ partner is changing my life and how I might be influential in theirs. Great video.
I’m an ENFP, the promotor/campaigner in love with an INTJ. At first he seems cold, or that maybe he doesn’t care but now I know he’s nice and deep. Awesome conversations!
My daughter as an ENFP gets along best with me above my other kids. We are best friends now that she is an adult.
for my whole life I though that i'm an introvert, and for more than ten years I was typing myself as an INTP or INFP
, I didn't realize that i'm an ENFP until me and my infj became friends (i'm 29 yrs old now ). For this whole previous period I thought that I know myself well !
so yes, this relationship teaches us alot and make us know more about ourselves
I am an ENFP and my bf of 10 years is INFJ and I can tell you we are perfect. Yes we disagree and had very challenging and ugly times but those forced us both the grow and learn. And yes the passion especially in the bedroom is explosively amazing.
My INFJ brother-in-law was the best person I've known yet.
i am an INFJ-A woman, i love to meet a ENFP because i never meet one and maybe because I always stay at home and I don't want to go out..
😂
Everything depends if both parts are truly open. If any of them are on the unhealthy side yeah...it's not gonna happen, unfortunately.
As an ENFP guy I def agree with this :)
How do i find an INFJ, first of all it's the rarest and then in India no one gets a shit about personality tests. Most of them are not aware of the MBTI. I'm truly excited to encounter an INFJ person.
Did you get one? I am from India and an INFJ too. To be honest, it's hard to find an ENFP girl too. 😑
Determine their type yourself
Hi my friend is an INFJ and Indian and she is the one who recommended me to watch the video. Hoping you are a hetero male ENFP. Thank me later!
I'm an INFJ woman from india
And since I'm a lot into Mbti I tried to type my close friends and told them to take a test in sakinorva and cognitive tests.... turns out all of them are ENFPs
I wish I find a male one tho ꈍᴥꈍ
Eyes, smile
I don't know why but I always have a strong feeling like I know you deeply, always have
-enfp
This is what i believe down to a T =P And YES I'm an ENFP ;) Every relationship needs work to last. And a relationship that gives you opportunity to grow is a healthy and valuable one too =D
Better than a lot of articles I've read about infj and enfp pairing! I've been having troubles with my Infj boyfriend, but maybe because of context of our lives and the fact that he's 8years older... Make another video specific about the pairings problems!! Would help me lol
what kind of problems in particular do you have?
Erik Thor
I'm an enfp so I need to make this as complete as possible haha
I met my Infj partner when I was in another relationship with an esfj that I didn't really love. Especially that I believed I never understood what love was until I met my Infj. I broke up with the esfj and got with the infj, uncontrollably, i just couldn't help my intense emotions and so were his. It was two years ago, I was 20 and he was 28, we had it very passionate and fiery in the beginning, such a deep love for each other even if we had just met and it just kept growing. But it was at a very particular time when I had just found my path in life (storytelling, filmmaking, acting, writing) and he'd been a DP for several years already and hes a traveler and go where the wind takes him (while I on the other hand, prefer to embody the storm). I was scared of that. But at last I met someone I knew I wasn't going to get bored of, that lived up to my ideals of a perfect partner and that I connected with intellectually - and we still do... However now after a year and a half things seem slightly tainted and it feels like it's me overanalyzing things and I'm wondering if I'm not better off alone or with an INFP. I feel like we lost chemistry somehow. He's often grumpy and I take things too personally and I need words of affection and romance but he has seemed to distracted... And rightfully. He's got his own shit to deal with and now is a particularly challenging time in his life income wise - and I've noticed infj can get so carried away in their own world. It just feels like he forgets that I have needs for affection to keep. Me from going bored. Also I'm extremely young compared to him and I have all these what if thoughts haunting me although I don't want to leave the relationship knowing I haven't given it my all. I just feel like he sometimes ridiculises stuff I say with contempt, and I know he doesn't mean wrong and it just comes out, but it doesn't make me feel as his equal so much. What I love about infj and him is that he challenges me to become a better person and he would let me know things about myself honestly. But just the way he does it Iis so cold and rude at times (to my perception) that I've built up a lot of resentment and feel easily offended or on 'the lookout' for any excuse to add up to my "why I should break up" arguments even though it's horrible to admit that. We've jumped into really serious in our relationship really. Fast because it was so intense that we fell in love before knowing each other's negative traits really... I've had issues with realizing some stuff and even though I still love him so fucking much to the depths of my soul I don't feel that connected to him at all, or that we're not living our relationship to its best potential at all... Tht there's bitterness and resentments... And I don't know. If it haz anything with our personality types really or just the context of our lives. Although I really feel like the problems are more crested or perceived by me than him
I don't know. It'd hard cause I've realized all this stuff only recently as it's been two months that we've been LDR but I'm seeing him next week and we're supposed to have a long chat and reconnect session about us. I have no idea how he sees things as he's been not at all actively trying to tLk about it in any of our phone conversations Ltely. Something I also resent... How little effort je seems to be putting in communication. I understand he is troubled with other things in his life atm but I'm an enfp and if I feel disconnected or not being kept up to date with stuff my mind starts to wander to what ifs and thinks "well this is not my ideal RELATIONSHIP at all"...... Anyway so. Hard to explain everything by comment ND also I don't want to bore you... I find it extremely touching that a random (or not so random) UA-camr even asks. So thanks for reading at least :') you or anyone who does. Xx
I’m an ENFP with an INFJ boyfriend who is 5 years older than me. I feel very loved and cared for by him when we are together. but he needs time alone and we will go a week without seeing each other and minimal texting/ communication. And for me that can be troubling. I like to know how your day was or a simple text that you’re thinking of me. Sometimes I can’t tell if he’s being distant or just needs time to do his own thing. Any insight?
@Karrie Dee I'm INFJ male with an ENFP fiance and this basically describes the beginning of our relationship, INfj+ENFP are great together but the beginning can be rocky, it's difficult to understand each other, but once you do, things really get rollin'
I’m an INFJ guy I’m about to graduate high school and there’s this ENFP girl that I think about everyday. In the beginning I would just be chilling in class and she would find a way to get near me and she would just say “Hey dude!” I don’t know how to explain but every time we made eye contact and smiled at each other it was like something magical. I got her Snap and we started texting hella, with me initiating most of it. Sometimes when we were conversing over text we would get into like this flow state and it would just be like back and forth instantaneous as if we were actually talking (I’m pointing out that I feel we have amazing chemistry). I texted her after not seeing her around for a while and we got into that flow state again she was telling me everything that happened and it al seemed to be going great, then all of sudden nothing, cold turkey. We were in the midst of texting and she just left me on delivered. After that in the days following I texted her “Hey” and she left me on opened twice in a row. She got into some trouble with the school and she hasn’t been back for months and I doubt she will return this year. She is so beautiful on the inside and out and all I want to know is why, even though I may never see her again. I wish so much that I knew the last time I saw her was going to be the last. The look and smile she gave me the last time we locked eyes was unmistakably genuine interest. I’ve been pretty depressed ever since, I cry at night pretty often and even though it’s already been months I can’t seem to get over it. I don’t have the urge to pursue any romantic relationship now because she was the only one I wanted.
Good advice, I won't bore you with the gory details. 😂
i am an enfp.. i need to listen to this video once again... warm regards..
It seems you are mainly considering romantic relationships, but I only have experience in ENFPs as friends and coworkers. Honestly, they frustrate me immensely! I cannot adapt to the constant false decisiveness of the ENFP. Also, the ENFP cannot follow through with my vision to find success at the end and claims failure despite never trying.
ENFP: This is exactly what I want. Please do this to help me. I NEED this! I NEED this NOW!
me: Ok. I can do this. Here's my plan for how to do this.
ENFP: Yes! Do that! (Probably not listening and hollars this over her shoulder on her way out)
Me: *Begins thoughtful, detailed work immediately*
[30 minutes later...]
ENFP: Nevermind.
Me: I already started this. It's done to the high standards of diligent work I always do. Supplies have been purchased. Announcements have been made.
ENFP: But, I changed my mind. This new thing will be better because (half-baked nonsensical reason).
Me: *head explodes*
:D
I completely agree with you, they ask for advice but when you give them one they just wipe their ass with it and start talking about something utterly stupid and insignificant, they usually give me a headache, even though they are not bad people but just really annoying to be around for too long.
Also can you actually believe that this guy (Thor) typed himself as intuitive (even worse INFJ)
He has made videos where he has typed intj, infp and intp wrongly as INFJs and also said INFJ think like sensors and not with intuition which is ridiculous.
He has pushed many sensors traits on us intuitives, it won't be surprising if he makes a stereotyped vulgar video about INTPs or INTJs.
(I'm an INTP by the way, and I dislike this ISFP for being so wrong in many things giving me a massive headache, and people even buy what he says)
This is actually very accurate. I struggle with this with an enfp as well. 😅
So much aggressiveness to us ENFP's! I am sure there's lots of struggle between most types as we are all so different. The best way to cope with this stuff is understanding that none of it comes from a bad place or with a bad intention, we are just different, that's all. Of course we are not bad people, we are just different.
HAHA its truuuueeeee
What you're lacking to see in the situation with your ENFP is that they value you as a person and your thoughts on a matter. I know as a healthy ENFP I only ask the people I respect and admire in my life their opinions. Now! That does not mean we will do what you say. We need your J perspective. We have an insane amount of possibilities with our P that we can't see the wood from the trees sometimes! One of my best friends is an ENFJ gal and she knows I go to her for that specific reason. From all the advice obtained we decide which is the best route to go. So we're thankful but independent of thought and our choices. I hope this brings a greater understanding of how we work 😊
Excellent video...!!! Thank you for this...
One of the most concrete and useful video about the relationship between Enfp & infj , i learn so much in this vidéo who is clear , short , and describe the must go to mechanics between an Enfp and an infj.
Thank you my Friend
Love from France
(And yeah , i am infj)
I’ve been with my infj for 20 yrs, longest relationship before that, 3 yrs ( enfp wife:)
I think the whole ideal pair thing is pretty interesting, since there seems some YIN/YANG aspect to it, yet if one partners with a person who's the polar opposite of themself (For infj it would be ESTP) it would not work, and neither would it for most others MBTI types. Either it was carl jung or Myers briggs, or possibily even someone else, who stated that it's very important to view the world the same way, so being both N or being both S important, because you both value the same things. In that, I fully agree. I could never date a sensor and feel understood, because they simply do not understand me. I would constantly have to translate abstract thoughts to concrete examples and opposite, the materialistic world towards the spiritual or abstract world. .
However, to come to the point of this post is that for me the most interesting thing is the F/T thing, and particularly when the males are F and the females are T. The thing I noticed in all pairs and people i've met over the years and spoken to this about , is that generally F women prefer T men, and T men prefer F women. Although just statistic averages , it suddenly becomes alot different when the person in question has the less gender-stereotypical letter (male F's and female T's). It seems than once the genders are swapped, this suddenly does not work anymore so well. anymore. I wonder why that would be ? . I do know some F guys who are into T-ish women, but pretty much all the T women quite often seem to like 'even more T' guys. I wonder why this is? Is it that these groups find themself less fitting in a stereotype, but want to fit into the stereotype by finding a partner that enforces them to feel more towards the stereotype (like a moderately Thinker-woman feels 'feelierish' next to a even more thinkerish-guy? Or would it have some other couse? it's the most complicated pairing issue i've seen so far. I always analyse couples and ask their mbti's and generally they're the exact opposites (apart from S/N) but in most cases the male T and female F. In some cases the male being the F and female being T does work, but in these cases from what i've seen the guy is almost more feminine than the girl. Maybe then it does work? This is in no way meant as any insult to who-ever..I like to talk about this subject and figure out how this particular area excactly works? Another idea I've had is that possibily every male is born as a thinker, and every female as a feeler, and depending on their hormonal levels while growing up, transforms them into theur current state, but somehow deep inside the essence of how they were born is still there, so hence this makes the partnering more complicated. I know the last thing might sound contriversial to some people, which is not my intention, but I think there most be some logical and (biological?) explanation for it...in some way
Another interesting comment. Regarding the F/T thing, I think it is social conditioning that is still so present in many many cultures. A female T child will still be taught and rewarded for considering others' feelings first, and a male F child might be taught to keep his emotions in check in favour of logic. Of course it depends on the parents, and this is not as prevalent as say in the 1950s, but it is still an unconscious conditioning I believe!!
@@chickadddee I'm sure that social conditioning plays some role in how people may want to be perceived by others, but I do not believe it influences your actual way of thinking. After all, if social conditioning would play a huge role in such things, it does not explain why sublings have radically different personalites, with for example one brother an esfp and the other an intj. Would that mean the parents rewarded one for acting like a feeler and the other like a thinker? Was one rewarded to act extrovertedly and the other not? Was one rewarded to plan long term and the other to live in the moment?
@@PowerRedBullTypology No no you misunderstand. Of course the way our brains are wired affects to a large degree how we react to everything. But conditioning is subconscious, both in output and how it is received, and very powerful. And subtle. On top of gender differences and MBTI types, conditioning IS often unfair and siblings ARE treated differently. My comment was meant to address the fact that women -in general - prefer to be more F than their mates. I propose that although they may be low in F on MBTI or indeed a T, that social conditioning would play a part in that. Social conditioning is also not only the influence of parents, but society's expectations and what kind of behaviour gets rewarded. Women have this in heaps, as well as men, just in different ways. Some people become aware of the pressure and can escape the influence, but - you know - some people go through their lives fairly unaware of almost everything!! :)
Yeah I think it’s due to biology. Idk what F males they been around but maybe felt like they weren’t “masculine” enough to protect them, etc. and didn’t want to be the “dominant” one in the relationship. They want someone to take the lead?? Idk. And ofc not all T females think this way or don’t mind taking the “lead” in the relationship.
Still, I think that we are all on a scale. Some Thinker types could easily slip into Feelers, etc. etc. That could also play a part in all this.
Side note, I’m a F female who typically prefer F males 🤣🤣🤣
I learn mostly from INFJs!
I feel like youre a little biased against INFJ/ENFP pairs but I really think it depends on the individuals because we're all still unique even if we have a certain personality type.
I'm INFJ and my good friend is ENFP and we have insane chemistry. We really play into each other's silly side and our deep thinking, analytical side. We could flip between serious and hilarious stuff and not miss a beat.
I have had a short relationship with an INFJ being an ENFP myself. Although we were together for only a month I feel like she has had a massive impact on my life. I have not met anyone who has changed me this much.
I am still deeply in love with her. But she feels like I have put her up on a pedestal. That I do no know the real her because I romanticise her too much. That I see her as a 'Manic Pixie Dreamgirl' because I credit her too much for my transformation.
But even now after two months, we still talk sometimes. And I keep hoping it is possible for us to get back together and work on ourselves...
What can I do to let her understand me better? I want nothing more then to retry with her, taking it slower then we did before and grow thowards each other and with each other. I have never met anyone who I felt so instantly at home with. And each time we talk my heart is filled. And then broken again the next day...
K rook I’ve felt pigeon holed into that “manic pixie dream girl” role for many crushes, and I have reacted like her too. I pushed them away because if you’re overwhelmed with heart eyes right away, you’re not really getting to know me. It sucks if you’re authentically crushing hard, I know, sorry extroverts! I’d say if she’s open to continuing, just go really slow and try not to have over dramatic reactions to everything you like about us, try to pull back and let us have a chance to bring our energy to the table and be curious about you, let us get to know you in a natural way. Build up trust and emotional intimacy by letting it happen naturally and slowly. More of showing us how well we can connect with listening/understanding, than verbally telling us so.
@@lookouthill11 Thank you for your reply. : ) This entire experience has taught me allot. About love, about myself and the personality types too.
It is not easy to pull back the reigns once my heart is in it. But eventually pulling back all the way was all I could do.
Perhaps another chance to truly meet her again slowly will come in the future. But for now I have said goodbye to her. :*(
She wrote me a beautiful goodbye too, in reply. Had I known then what I have learned now perhaps things could have been different. But for now I wish her all the best.
K rook K rook I love hearing from another positive, hopeful soul.😊 And the more I learn about myself and others, I’m amazed at how well things tend to work out for the best even when I’m still heartbroken about it. 💚 I bet she’s very grateful for how you reacted to her, you gave her a chance to understand herself better too.
@@lookouthill11 I wrote her a last message around Christmas. The words poured out of me and I was quite proud of how it conveyed my feelings for her. I wrote it as a last goodbye.
But ever since new years eve she has been on my mind again. Even if I am trying now to find love with another girl. Every moment I pause, I think of her. And my heart is filled and my body burns with indescribable feelings.
I did not think she would reply anymore. But I want nothing more then to see her again, even if it is just once. To know finally why I still feel this way, after not seeing her for over 5 months. Why it is her that ignites these feelings in me? Burning just as strong as the first weeks when she came into my life.
Then last week she suddenly sent me a text. I was shocked to see it pop up. My heart was beating in my chest as I read it: 'Your last message kept me awake at night.'
I did not reply. Then an hour later she followed it up with: 'I thought you should know that...'
I am still so very deeply in love with her. And afraid to send her anything now. Afraid to fall back into an old pattern and collect more hurt. My letter was meant as a goodbye. But I think of nothing else but her in the moments I can afford it. I can hardly sleep because of it. And when I do I dream of her.
It has been 4 days now, I have still not sent her anything.
@@krook5158 wtf answer her it was the shot for u to do smth if she didn't want a reply she wouldn't have said it! u can still try it and be open!
I'm married to an infp ai n I'm extremely happy, thank god for technology!!
Gotta check each other's light/energy levels. No fun if you can't/are unwilling to keep up with each other's "crazy". It's not meant to MATCH but to COMPLIMENT. To meet in ze middle... like Malc☯lm
✋NFs UNITE🤚
I love u enfp😍😍😍🤗only u know me,understand me
Where can I find an INFJ man? How can I spot one the easiest way?
Oh no... I'm watching this because an unrealistic love interest of mine is an ENFP (I'm an INFJ). ):
Who says it unrealistic? The wonderful thing about this world is we don't know it all! ;)
-ENFP female.
I had a crush on an INFJ man (I am an ENFP female) for years and we were just friends. I felt I had no “effect” on him in a romantic/sexual way. At some point we started a conversation about how he expects women to be very direct with him if they are interested. And he finds it safe to be friends for a long time first.
This gave me the opportunity to explain that for me, too long of being friends could ruin a romantic opportunity or spark. I also said that I will clearly express interest through body language, flirtation and energy, but I do not chase men.
I was not playing a game with him but to go beyond friendship I needed him to speak up if that’s something he was interested in.
He was brave and admitted attraction to me as well. He said the only reason he hadn’t before is because he didn’t even entertain the possibility that I would be attracted as well as he saw me as “out of his league”.
And the whole time I was thinking, “he must just want somebody way more evolved than me”
@Stephen Emmons I was using the word in a funny way because it was both serious and playful. Serious because the INFJ usually doesn’t realize the extent that they come across as a bit untouchable, “wiser than”, or enigmatic. And in this way they can accidentally sabotage the connection they crave. They can be intimidating.
And many ENFPs do not understand the mechanisms and characteristics that make them seem flighty, difficult to understand or follow their logic, and they display a spontaneous nature that can be confused with lack of depth. People tend to miss the depth and/or not be careful with their hearts because they can seem very confident and can look as if they care much more about adventure than intimacy.
I often see that INFJs experience themselves as open hearted and yet others perceive them as putting up a wall.
And conversely, I know
ENFPs often experience themselves as having a more protected, guarded heart and yet are seen by others as being very open.
As an Infj guy, I absolutely believe in the infj /enfp relationship. And raise your hand Infj guys if you didnt drool over Alice from the "Twilight" movies.? 🤤😍
i am an ENFP female slowly falling in love with an INFJ male. Listen to this is helping me making the decision on what to do now. I know that he also sees me as more than just a friend (after i gave him a little push) but we are both careful, because it would be a distance relationship at first. We also talked about that and we would both go through this together. I just want a little bit more.. more safety. He didn't say that he loves me yet, eventho it's pretty obvious😂
i think i'm gonna be the one who admits it first. I only hope i'll do the right decision😊
how did it go?
@@ninaportoc We are still together^-^ currently in Berlin clubbing together
and happy
@@medichan8419 OMG THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING STORY EVER! thank you for sharing
@@ninaportoc oh wow i totally forgot what i wrote, well now i am living 20 minutes near him in his city allone in a appartement for students. Bevor i moved we started going out together like 1 month bevor that and we started the relationship on novembre the 2nd.
It was really hard at first, cause he is 3 years younger than me and we had alot of differences. (i mean ofc, he is infj) but we can talk about everything and there is nothing we wouldn't work on together.
I am sure that he is the right person, even if he's younger.
It just feels right cause he is working on our relationship just as much as I am 🥰
@@ninaportoc He even started talking about "falling on his knees" sometime in a few years haha
I have a hunch for INFJ (me) and ENFP would be the Yin/Yang of all the types??
I believe the INFJ would be the Yin, Femal, High Preistess (Spiritual Intuitive Empathe/Empathy Knowing person). The Creatrix (receptive power, utlizing LOVE (Truth, as a gatherer - for family and community, like a Tiger/feline) for collaboration and partnering Unions to produce, like a Queen Bee as the communicator facilitator: Non aggressive. Not a primadonna type, only for higher purpose, Humanity. Right brain oriented. *I wonder if that's why the Queen Bee doesn't have a hubby there because of the mis-fire in 'nature'?
The ENFP, the Yang, Masculine, Aggressive, overt power, a Creator by action(s). Apathy but not necessarily in a cold hearted way, rather in a focus on the bullseye, geometry/strategty towards the goal. Wordly, the hunter, an Emperor type. Left brain oriented.
The 'old' Yin/Yang archetype/glyph, described the opposite value(s) in different Direction's (contrasting values in Natures'). It's an archetype/glyph that describes primary primivative True Natures'.
Now, I feel the Yin/Yang must be in Heart form Yin/Yang archetype, glyph..... eye to eye (eyes now facing each other) in understanding our Natures' in a positive spiritual response and acceptance now. Honoring our special Natures' together in Sacred Divine Union as Man and Woman.
In the glyph there, the white part (Yang/Male) on the left side, the widest part on the top with the black eye. Meaning in the highest Apex of expression of the Male value, there is the opposite value there, the Yin/black eye (Femal/e self esteem/self respect mentality in action and in product). Meaning, as a man in extreme action, he should be thinking in a worthy, self respect/esteem way. Otherwise they can do a lot of damage! The opposite for the Femal/e aspect, in that specific Nature dichotomy.
Now that most of our Natures' are unbalanced or discombobulated and have been compromised by attack. I feel it's crucial to be Spiritual: Mind to Mind,
Soul to Soul, Body to Body. Respecting and celebrating each other's natural affinity, complimentary duality, not extreme duality. In the natural flow of things.
I feel INFJ/ENFP this would be a natural fit (not that a label would or could override a person that is beyond the typecasting).
However, in non-extremities.
Can that type of dynamic work these days?
I feel it's the problem, our True Natures' are not celebrated and actualized due to the opposers with antoginistic targeting.
I don't know enough about the intricatecies of each type. I didn't have time to really do research.
Maybe Erik there is a 'better' type for the Femal that describes what I'm trying to say, the ' True Yang '/male counterpart for the True Femal INFJ? Please let me know what you think of this. Sorry for the long comment. I Love your profound invaluable insight. You seem so natural at this. Are you self taught? ❤
⚪➕🌌🙏🏩 This Isn't My Post - A Mocker Plagerizer wrote This whole extensive black mindz ( Anti Love | Truth ) , rendition to Utter ' DisRespect To Gods , Natures YinYang ! FYIING ❤️ Nanette
Nanette, I see this post is from years ago but it definitely resonates. I crave nothing more than to feel yin/yang polarity in a romantic union. And I feel sad at how our current culture is so confused about this.
As an ENFP female with an INFJ male it’s very interesting and satisfying because on the level you described I would be the Yang and he the yin, but then in a more core, or primal way, I am the feminine/yin energy and he the masculine/yang.
If you're a enfp and a Scorpio i dont care who you are just come into my life ahahahh my infj and Capricorn
Sis literally meeeeee. You hit both on the nail-ENFP AND a Scorpio?? Yes, please 😩😩😂😂🤣🤣
@@PGOuma i know right!!! 😂😂
Would you like an aries?
LOL so what's this all about? Personality type and zodiac combo!!! I'm an ENFP SCORPIO... InfjS are already rare and hard to find! One that also was zodiac compatible...... They wouldn't be a capricorn... They would be a unicorn!!!
My best friends ds are INFJs. Now I know why we love eachother. They are my inner voice that makes me stop and think, before acting. Why are you doing that? You can not have a 3rd drink. Lol. They are always right. But sometimes it can be TY her me that they always play by the rules. Like the other day I was going to run across the street while there were no cars, but no, we had to wait until the light turned. But there were no cars. Whats up with that? I call him a boy scout. Lol
Coz of the J (cautious) and P (spontaneous)
What is the best parying for an intj (in rare cases infj).I had long conversation with an entp and my world view is strucked and I havent slep whole night...I feel so lost...
O melhor par para um INTJ é um ENTP, por causa das funções serem o espelho um do outro.
Thank you
💜
🙏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
It didn’t worked out 😅 stay mature
Thoughts on intp male with enfp female?
Matthew Alistair I dated an INTP for 7 months and I’m an ENFP. The problem we had is I’m emotional (F) and hes logical (T). He didn’t understand where I was coming from or he would invalidate my feelings because they were feelings and not facts. He was also not very touchy, us ENFPs are ! We love to cuddle and hug all of the time . He was also pretty controlling , which we hate! I’d say go for it , but listen to the emotions of the ENFP and try to help them work through it. Do not invalidate their feelings , no matter how illogical they seem. Be affectionate and caring , we hate criticism so politely say no if you’re not feeling it and explain why since we need explanations for EVERYTHING (we are over thinkers) . And last but not least, freedom is insanely important to us. Once we see you tightening up on us, we RUN, unless we’re interested in you too and then we don’t want to ever leave you :)
janet dade wanna go out ;-)
I see the feelings as valid in theory but it’s hard for me to understand , sometimes I hit a sensitive part that seems like it’s impossible she could’ve took it that way
And I like her energy in one way but in another it seems random and somewhat unaligned with mine. Bit to say she’s not focused she is more focused than me (maybe it’s the Te?). But I think it’s cos I may be looking for that J aspect on some level that makes it lack
I personally don't like it. Enfps are just to much for me.
Depends on your level of maturity, and the other person's level of maturity, enfp women can also consider infj men way to feminine, but is might not necesarily be like that. the enfp woman needs a real man in her life. but the reality is that if both are mature, they will realize that this pair is what they trully need. Analise your self before judgeing others, this is what i say to my self all the time as an ENFP
@@catycika4856 I don't think maturity will change it that much, as I myself would consider myself mature. Though I just have different taste is all.
@@satoatsuji8392 there is a spectrum of preferences so not all enfp women are the same. In fact, I have rarely met another enfp woman who was like I am. Some of them are just loud, or far more cheery and social than I am. I am very interested in depth and do better with one on one relationships or small groups because I feel large crowds are too small-talky for me. Some are more introverted extroverts and some are higher up on the extroversion scale. I grew up in a family of introverts and it was quiet.
Pride and prejedice
You have so much criticism for INFJ´s.´Ĺike there is nothing going on inside of them´. That couldn´t be further from the truth. What are you actually saying? ´There is something an INFJ can learn an ENFP?´ I don´t think this is valid. I think an ENFP can learn a lot from an INFJ, all kinds of things if they would slow down and step aside from their perspective. I think this is were INFJ´s shine, they see things from multiple perspectives, not just their own. Maybe making it seem like ´there is nothing going on´ when in fact there is sooo much going on inside their mind that the INFJ finds it difficult to put into words. It seems like you are making this relationship a beneficial one for the INFJ, disregarding the benefits the ENFP is getting out of this possible connection. If an INFJ CHOOSES you, they see something in you. They are giving you their time and attention, for a type that is so drained by people quickly that is the most valuable gift they can ever give you. I get that that is totally different for an ENFP, your attention flows more freely and it energizes you. NOT the case for an INFJ. I think you are young and would love to see how you think about it when your road in life has been more travelled, because this seems an unfair judgement. Sincerly - INFJ
You're right, it was more from the direction of what an ENFP can give an INFJ, made as an INFJ, and focused a lot on the benefits I experienced dating an ENFP.
With regards to nothing going on inside, I call this the "Meditative" state of mind. It doesn't mean that nothing is going on. It's a state of tranquility and peace and zen. Often, the unconscious is fully at work in these times, as well as learning, reforming of the brain pathways...
Even if she is an enfp I wont date a woman because they're too wishy washy, I mean what's the point if wemon lose attraction to men so easily over the simplest of things?
I'd like to believe infps n enfps aren't like 95% of wemon but everything I've learned from the red pill tells me differently despite their type
I mean I'm 6'4 but how do u know she won't want someone who us 6'5 or 6'9? How do I know she'll stay faithful n honest? I've lost so much trust n faith in wemon it feels like even an infj girl would stab me in the back and I hate it
I hate that all the bad wemon of the world have destroyed my trust in wemon, I know there are good wemon out there but.. *sigh* it just feels like it would be better to just die n stop already
Without the red pill I'm blind to how most wemon are, with it I'm paranoid n untrusting of them, death honestly feels like a better option then having to exist in a state of mind where I constantly bounce back and forth between nialism n pessimism n optimism
I feel like no matter what I do it's not good enough for the girl I date, there's always someone out there that's better, it makes me wish I didn't have to live in a society with wemon
So many are mentally unstable, so many are capable of lyin n spreadin rumors, so many narcissistic bad wemon, wemon are so dangerous and I'm scared to work around em, I'm not interested in talkin to em irl
I just wanna avoid every last one because god only knows what she'll do if she gets pissed off or butthurt over somethin so insignificant like bein rejected, #believeallwemon has completely destroyed my desire to be involved with them in any way shape or form n I know not all wemon are like that, trust me I really do, but I just...
All it takes is one bad woman and my life is ruined, so many blue pilled fools out there who see wemon as angels n innocent princesses incapable of doin anything wrong and they'll believe her over me...
They just open their mouths n spin a web of lies n then I could go to jail or get sewed or somethin else 😭😭😭
All ppl can say is bs like "be a man" or "grow some balls pssy", all most ppl have to offer in negativity n bs, being human sucks, I hate bein a part of this broken species, I hate it n when I finally pass I'll be beyond happy to go n get away from it all
Its pretty bad when death looks better than life
I want to meet my soulmate! I am Enfp. 🥹