5 Radical Changes to Win in MARRIAGE
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- Опубліковано 5 лип 2024
- In this video, John has a conversation with his wife, Bekah, about the steps they've taken in order to radically improve and recharge their marriage.
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Been married for 20 years. I'm 40. Love is not a feeling, it is a decision. Decisions get followed by action. Love your spouse.
What I’ve come to realize-you don’t just say it. You don’t just feel it. You SHOW it in your actions. Actions speak louder than words-always have, always will.
Damn right. Love is hard work; but what great things do not require hard work?
@@tjc20 watching ice cream melt. That’s pretty great and only requires a staring contest with a bowl
I was married for 17 years, knew her for almost 20.
It most certainly was a feeling and decision towards action.
I say was, she unexpectedly passed away.
@@barbdwyer22 I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my wife but she didn't die.
I’ve been married to my highschool sweetie for 44 years. I give credit to The Lord Jesus for saving me and changing my heart and my life.✝️
Amen. And absolutely congratulations to you both
Just lost mom and dad to COVID, they were married for 47 years. I am 46, single and an ideal to live by is to grow old with the woman I love... What a value!! If we don't learn to fix things and relationships, we are going to think of everything as use and throw including our spouse. That's a wrong value!!
Praise God. How wonderful ❤️
Congratulations Kenny on 44 years of marriage. My wife and I just celebrated 35. The GOOD LORD takes care of us.
Praise God kenny!!! I can't wait to have a storie like that, I'm 17 and I got a woman I'm sweet on!!! I pray every day that the Lord will strengthens are relationship for He's Glory!!!!
"The best thing a father can do for his children, is love their mother."
I don't know who's quote this is but by being in love with your wife, you show your son's how to treat a woman and your daughters how they should be treated.
Well stated Sir! Perfect example.
Thanks for the reminder
Yes, Thank you for this reminder. Could not have put it better, myself.
PREACH!
My Dad always said this when I was a kid. Good stuff.
Look at the way his wife admires him. Thats a testament to how well this strategy works fellas. God bless you John.
😹🥳😆🥲🤪🤭🤫🤐
So much to unpack in that relationship... #CouplesGoals
Indeed
I really do agree.... You can see he is sweet on her as well... After over a decade of marriage,..
And neither of them look worn out.
They look very happy and in love...... After over a decade... Tell me old school does not work.....hah!
The key to the strategy is that it's not his it's theirs. You need to develop it as a partnership. I definitely understand the hard fought and hard won. Learning to respect and trust each other and extend freedoms to each other has been the key in my experience.
You’re a smart man for producing videos like this. Too many guys in the “American liberty community” think guns, gear and war are going to save our way of life. While it could come to that, I sure hope not. Rather, putting in the risk and the work raising a family that will carry on our values must happen, or our values and our way of life will be gone.
Perfect!
Amen!
Exactly right. We don't win the culture war with guns and bullets. We win by fiercely defending and loving our families and raising a new generation of culture warriors to carry on America's traditions and values.
Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.
-Psalm 127:3-5
This!
All of what is said above is absolutely true!
Just posting this here because I thought someone might get something out of this, so my apologies for the cut and paste:
What progessivism really is doing is actively **devaluing** motherhood and having children, which is actually psychological manipulation when you think about it, by stirring up envy in impressionable younger women and telling them they aren't good enough if they choose any way other than the progressive narrative. The interesting thing is that I can't think of a single person who ever lived in history who wasn't born to a mother, and that includes every woman I've ever known.
But lets think about the implications of this progessive idea towards motherhood. As with most ideas, the intention is that it should be adopted by everyone, that is, that feminists believe that "all women" should take the same approach as them. Sure they say they believe in freedom of choice, but then they go on to say that women that choose motherhood over childlessness and career aren't truly liberated and aren't living to their fullest potential. Taken to it's extreme, if every woman did follow this mindset that would mean a total population collapse, and in fact it is already happening in Europe, the Anglosphere and the affluent Asian countries.
Japan's population is going backwards by about 300,000 people a year as of 2021 (that's a large town disappearing every year) and accelerating gradually because more people are dying of old age than are being born. Japan's population peaked in 2011 at 128 million people, but as of 2021 is at 126 million people. This is happening in the West as well, but it's being concealed by our immigration programs, while Japan doesn't have a strong imigration program to make up the shortfall. Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Singapore are all going backwards and their populations are predicted to be around half what they are now in 100 years unless they get busy procreating.
All it takes for a population to double every thirty years is for the average female to have 4 children by age 30, and all it takes for a population to halve quickly is for the average female to have only one child. It all comes down to simple mathematics.
Did anybody else notice how she looks at him when she is talking to him or he is talking and at the same time when she is talking he is totally focused on her. Not sure if they picked up on it but I think it should be number 6 on the list.
Yep, no iphones here, just personal attention and respect.
I was just about to post about thjs
This is because she is a virtuous woman and the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he hath no need of gain... She guards his heart, and he guards her and provides for her. The results of this are so damn cute that it's almost gross... But at the same time it gives hope...
@@sgttackleberry1098 Please Excuse this Rant But, I Have to Say (✍ write this).
Women (feminist) and all the rest of society need to bring back🎖HONOR to the words Womanhood, Wife, Homemaker, and HOUSEWIFE.
You' all have wrongfully stripped & robbed it of its luster! 🌞
*Feminism needs to stop glorifying broken 💔 families!* Just like they do on 🎥 TV & movies? We are all learning too much garbage from the Boob-Tube! 📺
*Woohoo! ✋ Hold on a minute?* What far too many young women today do is what all "feminist" usually do_ Completely conflating, or deflecting the issues and distorting the facts to fit their narrow belief and feminist ideology!
Unfortunately nowadays, neither Young Girls or Boys are rarely taught the etiquette of being a Lady💃or being a Gentleman🚶anymore? What little they do learn is taught haphazardly by (mainly single-moms) a generation of parents who haven't properly learned this themselves, or from the garbage of (feminist) mass-media 📺 TV & 🎥 Movie propaganda programming which, shamelessly, permeates the minds of nearly ALL of US in modern society these days!?
What most ladies nowadays have done, and consistently continue to do, is to take all respectability & place of honor away from Womanhood, Motherhood, Housewife, and Homemaker_ y'all have thrown it in the garbage! Your feminist propaganda falsely makes yourself and every young woman of the next-generation see it (being a "good-Wife") as a place of servitude & Slavery? That is so Unbelievably Wrong of you women to do this to society! 😟
(P.s. Yes_ many moms, especially single mothers of today, do go out of their way to "try" to teach their young boys how to be a "man" and please a wife through the narrow lens of their feminist ideologies and indoctrination!) What really ends up happening is that they_ some but not all_ often unwittingly raise & crank out the same type of wimpy, irresponsible, punk a§§ young men that they Themselves Don't Want, and often complain about?! 😳
What ya really oughta be ashamed of is all your children callin' their kids 👶 and each other "My Baby's Mother" or "My Baby's Daddy? That's becoming way...y too prevalent in all of our society, especially in Afro-American communities.
Husband, Wife, & Girl friend, Boy friend/ "fiancee" are honorable phrases that we need to be using far more often!... ✌🎤 Drop...
THERE MAY BE MANY PEOPLE WHO OBVIOUSLY MUST BE EXPERIENCING UA-cam INAPPROPRIATELY DELETING COMMENTS!
UA-cam CO. NEEDS TO HAVE A MASSIVE LAW SUIT BROUGHT AGAINST THEM FOR VIOLATIONS OF 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHTS!
THE PRACTICE OF "CANCEL CULTURE" IS ALIVE ON UA-cam!
UA-cam IS BLOCKING FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, BY BLOCKING AND DELETING RESPECTFUL, NON-INCITING, ALTHOUGH MAYBE SOMEWHAT CONTROVERSIAL COMMENTS!
UA-cam IS DELETING ONLY CERTAIN COMMENTS THAT MAY GO AGAINST THE POPULAR CULTURE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS NARRATIVE!
WHILE AT THE SAME TIME, ALLOWS SOME VERY EXTREMELY INFLAMMATORY COMMENTS TO REMAIN POSTED OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE THOSE MAY SEEM TO FIT A CERTAIN POLITICAL OR POPULAR CULTURE NARRATIVE!!
“How much eye contact do you usually make with your wife”
YES.
😶
@@Learn.The.Hardway Lol :))
Winner of the comments!
😂😂🤙
I just apologized to my wife for ten minutes because of the shortcomings I know I've let leak into our relationship, no one is ever perfect, but thanks for the reminder to do better!!
3:36 - Dating
5:16 - Roles
11:40 - World View/Theology
13:57 - Don't Idolize Your Kids
18:12 - On the Same Mission
You are the Goat
Thanks
John doesn't just teach us how to be a better self defender, he also teaches us how to be a better man. Even at the age of 27 I need male role models and guidance, John is someone I look up to and learn from a lot.
I got to meet John and thank him in person for the help he's given me and my family through his words and the WPS movment. It was really cool!
Yep, I'm nearing 29, no kids yet but I'm a new homeowner and in a long term relationship that will soon be a marriage, and my perspective has grown a ton in even the last year or two. John is a great guide for someone in our time frame in life
@@shawnryan2197 thank you!
Praise God for other young men like you, bro. I'm 29, halfway to 30 and every day I ask myself if I am being the kind of husband God desires for me to be to my wife. We have to set the example for the next generation! Keep it up brother. It pays off. And marriage is the greatest gift from God besides salvation!
#6: learn how to argue without hurting each other. Also, great video, WPS!
YES!!!!
a thousand times, THIS
Disagree with rules and fight fair. Avoid words like always & never. Listen ( don't just think about your response) more than you talk.
Fight clean and play dirty! Basically keep passion in your relationship
This is such an important one, its really hard when theres emotions and the conversation is charged.
Watching this on my wedding day, thanks for the solid advice John and Mrs. Poet!
are you still married?
5:04 "However expensive the babysitters are month to month, it doesn't compare to how expensive the divorce will be."
Solid advice there, John 👏
Also, it’s great if you can find teen girls from church who would volunteer to babysit! Or have your teen girls offer to people to babysit for free. :) Taught me to work hard and do a good job just to be kind to people!
like the poet said... It will save your marriage to have time with the women you fell in love with.... Never understood how a man could be madly in love one day, and not the next...and vis-versa, for the ladies...
This may be the exact recipe to stop it.
This is the only one I disagree with. If you raise your kids to respect you, then they can go on vacations with you. And you just have night time with your spouse. Family vacations are more memorable then just together. Also babysitters are where kids get sexually abused. Even from girls who you met at church. I've been in ministry long enough to see the high percentages...which is why we don't ever have babysitters. And we have a happy, passionate marriage.
@@jenmessner6922 They were not saying that their kids were unruly on vacation.
They take vacations alone to strengthen their marriage.. At least this is what I thought that I heard.
@@byrddog2495 I know, I just disagree. Vacations should be with the whole family.
This is why we as men train, stay fit, study, learn, and train some more... to protect and defend our family and loved ones. I respect and admire your relationship, sir.
Well, at least this is why we SHOULD do those things. ;-)
Where are these men?😂 I usually see the women staying fit and the men can't see their feet after they hit 45.
@@Christina-71 like I said "should be doing" lol
@@Christina-71 That’s a fair point. I’m 45, 6’1 and am a lean 210 lbs. It’s hard but I make time to workout six days a week. I know it’s rare nowadays, but some of us are still out there.
@@chrismadison305 of course there is, not disagreeing.
This was some great advice my grandparents gave me when I was ten..."always be the kind of person you would some day want your kid to marry when they grow up, and never do anything they would be ashamed of finding out about you." They were wicked smart when it came to setting examples and establishing standards.
As someone that made a mistake in my first marriage, I cannot emphasize enough that having the same goal in your beliefs is CRUCIAL to success.
💯
🔥
🤘
One thing i wanna add: have clear boundaries with your parents/in-laws. 1.They do not need to know everything about your relationship. 2. Do not let them bad mouth your spouse. 3. Set boundaries with them and your children. Basically make it known they are not to correct your children (if you're there to do so). And they are not to argue with you on how you handled the children in front of the children. The kids will learn to play you against your parent or in-law. If they are alone with the kids and need to correct them, it should be consistent with how you discipline. 4. Make sure your marriage is not only a priority over the kids but also over your parents/in-laws.
My Gramps lives with us and we’ve had to set boundaries with him. It’s a game changer.
@Modoc Jack Agreed it takes a village.
@Modoc Jack I agreed with everything else OP said except for this. If my boys are acting like little hellions while my parents or in-laws are around, they have full permission to correct them provided they do it in such a way that is consistent with how we do things. They need to learn not only to respect their parents, but their elders in general.
@Modoc Jack Not in all cases. My mother-in-law does nothing but undermine my, and my missus parental authority. Now the little cnnt is a demon that disobeys EVERYONE except the mother-in-law..... violently
@Modoc Jack You don’t know my parents.
@Modoc Jack i'd like to clarify. i meant while you're there. there's no reason for your parent to correct your child while you're right there. you correct them. when they're alone with your kid, obviously they can correct them. i didn't make that clear enough.
Solid advice
Yes
Yes
Yes
Biblical principals never lead you wrong
Do you even know how to type more than two words in a row?
When I’m 40 and been married for 15 years, I want me and my wife to be able to look at each other the way y’all do. This was one of the best videos I’ve seen on these topics. Keep them coming! Party on
Yep. As a lady I love that he looks at her with interest when he learns something about her he never knew. And how she gives him her full attention.
I love his snap-to attentiveness whenever she starts talking
I wish more women these days could listen to what Mrs. Poet had to say.
Dude, made respect to this woman!
Starts with John! (Or me, or you, etc etc)
So many women are still the family/home caretakers...especially in rural America. It's not glorified on TV or media
To bad they are busy bussin it on TikTok
Follow the rule of 2. Date night every 2 weeks. Weekend without the kids every 2 months. And a vacation without the kids every 2 years.
Better yet make that the rule of 1.
@@ragan714 1 might be hard with everything we have going on. 2 works for us. 13 years married and going strong.
No judgement man. I was on the Zero plan for almost a decade after kids showed up. We hit 20 years this week. I can promise that leveling up is worth it.
Or just don't have any damn kids. You can tell MY kids I said that.......guaranteed they'll laugh.
They have children of their own.........lol
I went to school with a guy named Rusty Shackleford spelled exactly the same way. Did you go to Valliant High School by chance, or did you take the name from King of the Hill? Lol
Sir, tears came to my eyes twice when I saw the way you and your wife look at each other. I absolutely want to fight to build something like that one day.
The most important work you'll ever do is within the walls of your home. I'll never regret being a stay at home mama and I'm thankful my husband works hard to provide so that I can stay home
Amen!
I’ll second that. It’s what my wife and I wanted and did when raising our kids. They are in their 30’s now. It did mean that I had to sacrifice in some ways to make it happen but it’s well worth the decent human beings that we have brought into this world.
"Why would you think a career is more important than Family?"
*Dom Toretto approves of this message!*
😆
🎶 it’s been a long day, without you my friend… 🎶
Just hit our 9 year anniversary 2 weeks ago. We’re very blessed and happy because we’ve worked to mirror Christ and the church.
I was married (she died) for 17 and knew her for almost 20.
We are atheists, extremely happy with amazing kids.
What does the church have to do with it?
@@barbdwyer22 are you asking because you are genuinely curious about my marriage, or are you wanting to imply that there is no need for such a belief?
@@barbdwyer22 hey there, when people say that they try to “mirror Christ” or the church or anything like that, they mean act like Christ has taught, kindness and love basically. If you, as an atheist, were kind and loving, then I’m guessing that’s what had attributed to your wonderful marriage. Whether it’s from learning it at church or anywhere else, kindness is kindness and love is love. Some people learn that at church, some people from other sources, but kindness and love yields the same results regardless. I grew up attending a Christian church but have learned that church is not a requirement for someone to learn to be kind and loving.
Keep at it sir!!!
Thank you for this. As someone who is "a glorified roommate" at the moment, the advice here is welcome and appreciated. We are not giving up, but you have given me a few tools to use. Thank you and God bless.
Don’t give up!
@Bravo Six Ha Ha, my kids our grown and out of the house, we only go out if we are meeting us out. 38 years of marriage. But yes, kids were #1 and 2, I was #3. (Edit....I moved up to #3 after the dog passed on.)
Very un-biblical, and working on that. I should be #1 to her and she #1 to me. (After Christ...He is #1) Because we follow Christ and know that neither one of us is going anywhere, sometimes that can cause you to act/speak/test/challenge each other more than someone who fears their spouse could walk if they push their limits. It's all about selfishness...for most split-ups.
Don't give up brother. Focus on God and let Him lead you.
FIGHT for your marriage with everything you have. It’s worth it!!
Praying for anyone in this situation! My wife found a shiny new toy and left everything behind to go after it. We were doing so well, but that temptation is very very real for some people. It’s been a hard year rebuilding after losing quite literally everything but my mattress, but I’m blessed beyond measure because I tried my best to keep God in my sights, even if my sights were muddy at times. Any advice I can give, is make sure your spouse cares about you too. You should give your all to a marriage, but only a marriage where someone gives their all to you.
God bless anyone who knows the pain of sleepless nights. Lots of love your way brother/sister
Woman here, 32 and husband is 46
We are on point for most of this, but it took us 6 years to get here and 2 really hard years of work.
Have a 2 yr old, I am now a stay at home mother, and this was a challenge for me, having been a full time tradesperson. I sm so thankful my husband is a wonderful provider and has encouraged me to stay home. This has made all the difference in the world for me, seeing as both my parents worked full time and divorced when we were were teenagers.
This video is amazingly wonderful.
Treat "love" as a verb that you do, not a noun that you possess.
That is awesome!
Can I borrow that quote? That's good.
DC Talk got it right! :)
I love the old Bible word, “Charity”. It means: love in action.
John’s laser focused on her when she is talking, and she is looking at him when he is talking.
🐝
They really respect each other and one another’s opinion.
“Love your spouse very well”!, “I want my children to have a memory that my parents were happy “! Amen Amen 🙏🏾
I love the way you guys look at each other. It is so infectious.
"beat it kid, see you in twenty minutes!". This should be done early and often.
I'm 23 years in and I can second your opening statement 100,000%
This video was a breath of fresh air for me. It's awesome seeing how you two interact while you talk about the wisdom gained over the years. I came for the gun content originally, but honestly I enjoy the poet content more as it's often a reminder not to despair about the way our world has gone, that there is hope and a path forward for us all.
21 years of marriage here and we are just starting to understand each other on a whole new level!!
Been married for 31 years we have put a lot of work into it and still working at it
“Love is willing the good of the other.” -St. Thomas Aquinas
It is a choice, not a feeling.
I’ll be honest I never thought that I would see a marriage video coming out here but it really was very well done and helpful. It was a breath of fresh air
I love the traditional values they have and the fact that while they say they understand we all have different views and opinions, they're not embarrassed or apologetic about their beliefs.
Also, the fact that they're a bit transparent about how they struggled and battled for a couple of years. It helps you look at the way they treat each other and the advice they give and not think its fake. They're real about it.
Great advice folks! I enjoy the family mix you put into the channel too. It's not all about guns.
It makes makes the warrior poet label make perfect sense to me. Being well rounded.
You're man which doesn't mean just shooting guns, being tough, and protecting your family, but also being living, joking around and being gentle with your family when toughs not needed.
And the wife's lady like and kind, but not a pushover by any means either.
Keep em coming! Im gonna share this with a few couples that I think would benefit from this and enjoy the content.
Take care!
As to point number 4, Steve Rinella says “kids need to be more comfortable with being uncomfortable”
Gotta love Rinella.
Fun fact: up until this point of me following WPS, I never knew John’s wife’s name was Bekah. I thought he would intentionally refer to her as Mrs. Poet in order to keep her name secret.
It's Mrs. Bekah Poet.
Like Wranglerstar does?
It was correct of him to mention her name in light of the subject matter....as far as needed secrecy is concerned, I'm sure more than one have her 6....
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this
Lord, this should be required learning before matrimony! I appreciate how warrior poet is just that, not just the warrior aspect, but the depth of poetry. Thanks guys for this video. Hopefully there's more like this mixed in with the tacti-cool, high speed stuff.
Although I lost my husband to suicide, it was US AGAINST THE WORLD!!! “ You put me first, I put you first and we both come in first” win win...........PTSD took him from me, but we were best friends.....still are! ♥️🇺🇸♥️🇺🇸
The fact that you can say you lead your family and she agrees shows how strong of a woman she is and shows how strong your team is.
But thats what people don't understand. They are still a team but teams need leaders. You see it in Gods council even. God is the leader there (well, He is everwhere) but nonetheless. Not only are men the biblical leaders. But a great team has a strong leader, and a strong leader is nothing without a good team because he cant do it alone, the bible even says so. The relationship between the team and a leader even if its just 2 people is a marriage of sorts or in the case of marriage, its literal. If you have two leaders, even with the same beliefs, conflict takes place because they can still have different opinions on things and its the leaders job to take everything into consideration and make the final judgment so that way a decision is made instead of arguing your way to divorce.
@@GreyBlackWolf I get it. Id say most women today dont though.
@@blackpistolcompany3482 Unfortunately. I wish I was born in the 50's, not the 90's.
@@GreyBlackWolf I must respectfully disagree with you, or at least add a different perspective.
My husband and I are both leaders in our marriage. We as a team have employed leadership roles in almost every aspect of our relationship, but we have both taught each other our strengths in case the other is not present. There is no need for us to argue about who should take control, because we know each other so well, that a simple look or nod says it all. We may ask each other at points who would like to take the lead, but only to help each other grow their individual strength to help said team. I hope I made sense.
@@mommamonster1476 Fair enough.
I’m getting married this September. So this video was perfect timing for me. Thank you for the realistic real world advice. I’m lucky enough to have found a modern conservative woman who shares a lot of the traditional values I do. Even in the liberal progressive state of New York.
If you haven't done it yet. Watch every video John and Mrs.Poet have done together... an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Even in relationships
“Progress in society is going backwards, not forward.”
Thanks for your solid wisdom from a grounded Biblical perspective! God Bless!
I sent this video to my wife and told her that I desperately desire to be the type of man she can admire the way Mrs. Poet admires John. I don’t want to over-exalt John, but I do want to exalt his goals and ideals. That’s what makes him so admirable.
I'm trying to figure out how smart you got at such a young age. This video should be mandatory read for all Patriots! Don't stop teaching us John!!
I truly enjoy the relationship segments y'all do. A marriage is a battlefield. It's up to you as husband and wife to decide if it is against each other or a common enemy.
So true, if marriage is a battlefield🪓here is your battle axe. Pat Benetar 'Love is a battlefield' isn't that a song? XA XA XA XA won the battle. so this is war. War of The Roses 🌹 WarPoet! 🗽🗼⚔️🗡️
i'm 58 now i love talking to my parents who are in their 90's living in Maine, very old school and nothing changed much back there. they always say we each have a responsibility in in family. i just love that mom is mom and dad is dad. they work so good together understanding each others role. just love them. to bad its not like that anymore.
That’s how it was with my grandparents, it changed after that - the boomer generation forward
Setting a yearly reminder to rewatch this video and remind me of these points.
Just got married on July 3 of this year to the best woman I've ever known. I haven't watched this video yet, but you're EXACTLY the type of person I think might have great advice to give on this subject. Thank you in advance for your insight, sir, and God bless you for the message you push.
Everybody thinks I'm crazy for wanting to get married to some unlucky blind woman on the 4th of July. I mean it's the greatest holiday ever and I'll never forget my anniversary that way... congrats brother, I wish yall the best.
Congrats on your marriage man!
@@christopherscott3189 We'd considered the 4th as well! Ended up settling on the 3rd just to keep things separated.
Anyways, man, I'm glad to hear you're with the person you love, no matter what her condition is. Let the dissenters kick rocks, I imagine most of them are single anyways. Thank you for your best wishes, and you have mine in return.
Congrats
congratulations with the marriage.
If you two wrote a book on marriage survival I would buy it
This 👏
Same
The way that you two look at each other makes me want to get my wife and look at her the same way. Totally focused and ready to not only hear, but listen to what they have to say.
What a great video. Thank you so much
Man Im thirsty for this kind of talk and wisdom
I wish you all the success in your life
Please submit more videos to teach people that
U certainly can tell just by looking at the 2 of you, The level of love u too have for each other… people dont realize how much being loved, leads to growth and harmony
Whenever someone talks about being "Progressive" I'm reminded of the Cheshire Cat scene from Alice in Wonderland.
If you don't know where you want to end up, then it doesn't really matter which road you take. That's why religion and higher purpose is so important. Progress is only as valuable as the goal you are progressing towards.
A motorcycle will definitely add spice. This topic is not covered in the video. But the screen shot should cover it.
YESSS!!! If you have nowhere to go you are going nowhere.
My goal of happiness and security for the rest of my life isn't reliant on any religion, and that's what I've progressed to and will continue to maintain.
This is gold. While I am a man of "things", I recognize that God, my wife and my marriage is far more important than anything else. The rest follows. I think the values you are sharing here are good values for any man to try and strive for. I do think traditional values have survived the test of time for a reason.
The eye contact they give one another while speaking is the biggest sign of respect and love. Big reminder to get out of the tv/phone/tablet/whatever and pay attention to what really matters.
I love this video. Thank you both!
Coming up on 12 years married, second kid on the way, and I absolutely hate when people say we're "lucky". We worked hard, sacrificed, faced hard realities, and then did it all over again, and again, as we both grew and changed over time. Great video! Really hope more people start thinking this way.
I know my husband appreciates all i do at home while he does his job put of the home. I see it as creating peace for him. He doesn’t come home to stress. Home is his place of peace, because i make it so. It’s not easy but highly rewarding. Traditional gender roles are important. Everything runs smooth when we have our clear roles. We have regressed as a society. I hope we can find our way back. It starts in the home. And those date nights really do help. To just get out from the house and have a day out together. We are meant to leave our parents and one day they leave us. Our kids are meant to grow up and leave us. We as a couple are meant to cling to each other always. So the marriage is the relationship we need to foster the most.
It’s inspiring to see to people my age look at each other this was. It’s also comforting to know that I’m not alone in understanding that marriage is super hard work. I really appreciate both of your opinions. Thanks a lot!
I know you and your family have a strong relationship with God. Look at the success in your marriage. I’d love to hear about it. Thanks for sharing this. My wife and I watched this together and we see the mistakes we made in our previous marriage. We are in our 13th year of our our relationship and 6th year of marriage. What a difference roles, Church and family make.
Thanks Joe and Cheryl.
I love the way she looks @ her husband, you can tell the love between y'all is genuine.
The work y'all have put into together is obvious. Congratulations.
Planning on getting married in the next 5-7 years. Will definitely be watching this again. Great stuff as always. Love it when you have your wife on the channel.
Before you have kids after you’re married, I’d highly, highly recommend reading Why Children Matter by Douglas Wilson.
That's beautiful! Traditional values are good values. It's amazing seeing the maturity of both of you.
I love your advice. Going on a date this weekend. When I told my wife of 15yrs she got tears in her eyes. Much-needed advice. Thank you. God bless you and yours
I'm blissfully happy after 13 years of marriage to my bride....at least that's what she tells me.😏
Funny my wife tells me the same thing.
@@gw9189 How does your wife know so much about his marriage?
These comments. I swear 😂
Turn 60 this year and still single. I don't know if I should give up hope now, but I am still looking. But as much as I dislike being around people it kind of makes me wonder.
Don't give up! Find someone who you can hate people with haha
Just enjoy life. Make friends and something may come of it.
There is some one for everyone brother! Dont give up and you will find her.
Hey man, i hope you find someone that makes you happy. If i'm honest, i feel better off alone. It isn't that bad to be single!
My aunt got married for the first time at 72! Just hit the 5yr mark on July 4th.
THIS.. .is THE most important video you've ever done. THANK YOU!!!!
You both are amazing! I love watching John and his gun stuff. But it is great watching you both together and how you support and love each other. Well done! Something everyone needs in their lives. Much respect!
19 YEARS MARRIED, 57 YEARS OLD HAVE THE MOST AMAZING WIFE. SOUL MATE, BEST FRIEND PLAY MATE. WE PRAY TOGETHER EVERY DAY. WE LAUGH WAY TOO MUCH. LOTS OF TRIALS BUT WE ARE STILL TOGETHER. SHE IS THE ONLY ONE FOR ME.
@Caleb King WAIT WHAT?
23 years old and single, but I sure clicked on this video fast! Any tips I can know beforehand I know are gonna benefit me & my marriage greatly down the road.
I’m almost 28 and single. I wish I would have started thinking about this stuff when I was your age.
@@jefferydebbink282 never too late brother, you’re still young, better late than never 👊🏻
Work on yourself and the ladies will come. Women have to preserve their value. Men have to create it. Find a woman that has a low sexual partner count. The higher the number, the less likely she will be faithful to you due to her experiences. Stay away from women who have children from another man. That's resources you will have to use. And if you don't work out with the woman, you have no rights to the children you grew a bound to. Stay away from women who have large amounts of debt. The main thing for you to do is to work on three main things: Money (financially stable), fitness (attractiveness), and charisma (game). Good luck, bro.
Oh, and block/ghost any potential women you wanted that put you in the "Friend Zone". Don't waste your time and money on her. She's not interested and she never will be. She's using you as a back up for attention and she will treat you like a girlfriend. Not a boyfriend. She will never respect you if you let her get away with this. And a women can't love a man she doesn't respect.
@@themightysisto8092 thank you sir 🙏🏻
Thank you John for all that you do this is extremely helpful for me and we all need a constant reminder of what to focus on
I really appreciate you and your better half taking the time out to make this video and open up like that. Lots of good advice and very encouraging to all of us who are also working for strong marriages. Thanks again.
Good on you brother- I’ve got a Proverbs 31 woman too, we’re blessed
Nothin like a proverbs 31 woman in the world.
Now keep praying that God would keep raising up Godly young men and that He would send us our proverbs 31 woman!
Preach yall! It's a blessing to see strong and healthy marriages in the modern age. God bless you Lovell's.
Excellent advice! Thanks for sharing your wisdom
33 years this year my Brother i say have fun and don’t sweat the small stuff and be spontaneous. Semper Fi.
3 minutes in, and I already know that this is going to be advice that has some results; outside of acknowledging the camera, they're not really taking their eyes off each other during the conversation.
Love this bro!
So refreshing to see the love and respect between you two. The way that you both still look at each other is so genuine. You both seemingly get lost in each others eyes. Knowing exactly the time to speak and help each other stay in a thought as if to enable each other to succeed without trampling and doing it for them. Keep up the good. Keep up the tradition. Your not the only ones it works for.
John: very good video!!
I recently wrote a best man speech for my buddy that got married. This was my advice for him in a new marriage:
1. Pray every single night before bed. Try to go to bed at the same time. Doesn’t matter about work, kids, stress of life etc., go to bed at the same time so you can both pray together.
2. If there is a disagreement (and there will be), don’t go to bed angry. But understand the problem does not need to be solved right then. A simple “I am frustrated right now but I love you” will suffice. Then, get some sleep, get some caffeine the next morning, and talk through the disagreement together with clear, calm heads.
3. It should never be “you versus me”. It should always be “us back to back”. This is key in our marriage. (Look at Ryan, smile and say “Ting”)
4. Do not have expectations of the other spouse. (Reference me and Joy). The moment you start having expectations you are setting up the other person for failure. Case in point. I love chewing tobacco. My wife had communicated with me very lovingly that she wishes I wouldn’t. But Joy doesn’t force me, and she doesn’t place her expectations on me. She knows it is my decision, and she loves through my various weaknesses and challenges. Also, when me and Joy got married, I wanted kids, but Joy was hesitant to have kids. But, I decided to love Joy, and not place my expectations of kids on her, but to simply love her. And now we have two beautiful daughters and Joy is an amazing mom.
5. Look forward to the blessing of extreme trials. At the moment, the pain of life can be unbearable, but after the darkness of trials, the sunrise is just around the corner. After Joy’s stroke, 2 miscarriages, the death of Joy’s mom, the death of my father and countless other trials, our marriage has only gotten better. In so many ways, extreme trials, gone through together, with Christ right smack in the middle, those moments in hind sight can actually be some of the best blessings in your life. We often don’t grow in our marriage and our faith when life is perfect. Growth comes when life is not perfect.
6. Be able to talk with each other with zero judgment. Be able to tell each other everything. Your darkest weaknesses, your greatest faults and fears, your temptations and struggles, everything. Build on your trust of each other to be able to talk about everything. Your spouse is your safe harbor. Be kind to each other and love each other no matter what might come your way.
7. Be intimate with each other as much as possible. Not just the obvious (wink wink) but also the hugs, the kisses, quality time, deep conversation. Be vulnerable with each other. Vulnerability can give oxygen to a relationship.
8. Truly understand what love really is. Love is 100% sacrifice. Often times, in love, we sacrifice more of ourselves than we ever thought possible. Love takes everything we have, and then some. God sent Jesus to die, because Jesus was the only true thing that God had to give up, that God had to sacrifice. That is how God showed His love for us. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
9. Be willing to laugh with each other. Even the crude or stupid jokes. Laughter is critical.
10. Write a fun “blessings list”. Various blessings and fun memories so that when life gets difficult, you can go back and read the list and remind yourself of all the times God has blessed you and been faithful to you.
11. Give grace to each other for each of your interests. Maybe you might think the other persons hobby or interest is dumb. Go along with it anyway because you love each other.
12. Understand that your spouse is not your savior. Know that they are a fallen and sinful person the same as you are. In the end, you only have one rock to lean on, and that rock is Christ. All else is sinking sand. Period.
13. Make your spouse your best friend. Build on that relationship. Have that fun camaraderie that only comes from your best friend. Have fun in the marriage! 😊
14. Keep Christ first and foremost at the center of your individual lives and at the center of your marriage. The rest will all fall into place
The way you two look at each other... My heart warms watching you guys interact. I pray a daily strengthening in your marriage! Love you guys!!
20:45 - 20:50 "Exploring options not palatable to the modern mind"
Love that quote.
Amen to all of this! My wife/best friend have been married for 26 AWSOME years! We have five loving grown children and a great life together. We’ve had our ups and down throughout the years but we worked through it! Marriage is wok and it’s hard but in the end it’s wither because you have someone you love and someone who reciprocates love.
So much respect for using the platform you have been given for something that really matters!!
Beautiful. My wife and I loved this vlog. Remember, your kids will be leaving and moving out. Then it will be just you and your spouse. Make time for each other. We are at 32 years plus, and getting stronger together all of the time.
There were several moments where I felt like I was third wheeling lol
21 years together, married 19 years. It’s a lot of work. 4 beautiful kids . Love isn’t a feeling. Feelings come and go. It’s a commitment. 2 people committed to make it work. No other option but to make it work. Just a awesome video. Also a reminder to me to be a better husband 👍🏻
My wife and I are just now seeing this video and learned so much about our marriage simply from watching the two of you interact. Thanks for all that the both of you do and for your boldness in speaking truth!
Gotta put that work in, all day every day. Going on 10 years and still happy and dating
That’s what it takes honesty and never stop courting Going on 13 years here
It's going to hurt bad when she betrays you.
@@slappy8941 why would someone betray their partner if they're genuinely happy with each other? If someone cheats then both made a lot of mistake on the way to that end.
@@slappy8941 After 10 years and they are still happy and dating? I wouldnt worry much if they stay consistent.
“I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable. For a man and a woman, as such, are incompatible.” - G. K. Chesterton
We were married when we were 19, 51 years later, we are still going strong.
2 toughest things in life are also the 2 most rewarding things in life. Staying married and raising kids.
We took many trips without our son, every summer for up to 2 weeks at a time. And we went out together frequently.
And there were difficult times, but we have always believed “for better or worse”. We understood the commitment and stayed committed to each other. And our family is full of very long term relationships, so that has been a blessing as well.
I have 56 yrs of walking this planet, 32 yrs of military and military programs, loves and losses, highs and lows, more money than I could spend and broke; John I truly admire you. Well done.
I will say forecast where each of you want to individually be (#5ish) when the kids are grown and gone and tell each other those dreams as you walk your journey.
Amen for #4
I love the way y’all bounce back and for and get on a tangent. It’s great to see👍🏼
So good to see you guys back. My wife and I really enjoy your marriage talks. Have to tell you too, my parents have been married for 54 years and have worked in marriage reconciliation with their church for many years. I introduced you all to them and they think you all are spot on.
My wife and I just got done watching this videos. We truly enjoyed meeting you all and appreciated the time that you guys gave to speak with us last fall. And I would say what has really improved my wife and I’s marriage was to learn not to be selfish with our emotions when there was an argument and to be quick to humble ourselves by taking ownership for the things we may have done or have said to hurt the other person.
Thanks for this. My wife and I celebrate our 10 year anniversary this summer and it's been quite a journey getting here. It's nice to see content like this from guys I respect.