I'm glad he specified the wife got her own utility knife cause I genuinely thought he meant she got her own poop knife, and I didn't even question it 💀
This was actually super common among opiate users back when i had a habit haha, not popping then having massive pinecone turds you couldnt poop out, like a bunch of hard pellets in a giant clump, and had to break them up on exit to be able to poop them out, and try not to clog the toilet
My dad & aunt are poopknife survivors. Grandpa was a small town depression tightwad and that meant two things: 1) lousy water pressure and 2) a starchy diet. Put 'em together and that's a standing order to use the poopknife.
All it takes is some oatmeal or fruit, some of the cheapest foods out there if you can't afford it then you're so poor you probably won't last much longer
@@ryanclemons1 I really hope you read this: You spend money on things that contain no bioavailable micronutrients, leaving you hungry again a few hours later. If you spent your money on natural foods, you’d eat less and remain fuller for longer. Refined foods, food that comes in boxes and plastic bags, are both NOT cheap and provide NO nutritional benefits. You absolutely CAN afford to eat right, and if you don’t, I promise you won’t be able to afford to be sick later in life.
I wouldn't have believed this story if not for a single event back when I worked as a public toilet cleaner in 2015. Someone managed to shit out a single circular piece of shit the size of an infant's head. I tried breaking that shit up with a toilet brush and then a plunger, but it just wouldn't come apart. I then had to just use my big rubber gloves to break it apart by hand. Shit was wild.
@@orchiddolls3476 I mean, it was the job. And out of 4 months of working there this was the only extreme event (well, outside of a dude puking because he saw another dude who puked all over the stall, or countless "shit all over the toilet bowl situations). It was mainly a super chill job that also paid $10/h, while all of my friends got ~$7 at other jobs
What's even funnier about the whole situation is that this whole situation is something that's seemingly a "Guy's problem", yet it's instead a GIRL who's the one in this shitty position! Totally unexpected!
The weirdest part of it for me is the fact that the people in possession of these poop knives don’t keep them in the bathroom. Why wouldn’t you just shove that thing in a bag under the sink? Why leave the option open for someone to accidentally use it for something else?
My mom who is in her early 60's has wanted to "invent" a mass produced 💩 knife for years. I want to gag and wonder wtf is wrong with her anytime she has mentioned it over the years. I thankfully take after my dad's side. Edit: she's gonna be sooo pissed that someone else manufactured it 1st! I know what's gonna be under my Xmas tree this year😂
They say everyone in their lifetime has a million dollar idea but not everyone acts on it. Sad your mom could have been rich if her family believed in her instead of shaming her
Please tell me you've already ordered, received, wrapped and hidden your mom's most memorable Christmas present ever!! If you haven't, it's time to get on the ball! Halloween shit just hit Walmart shelves. You are running out of time!!🤣🤣 Seriously tho! Hurry
the poop knife you can buy looks like the silicone spatula i have for cake frosting. fun fact about silicone kitchen tools, their main drawback is that they trap odors
The WORST. Feeling like you've run a marathon, and then the toilet roll is half the size it was before you went in. I take the Pill everyday - no breaks, because the Week Off stipulation was made up to appease the Catholic church - to avoid (most) of the worst moments. But pray for me when I miss a day by accident. 😢
When I think of poop knife, I have a memory of someone in prison making a knife out of poop and freezing it so the knife was solid. And then using said weapon to effect escape from confinement. This story was told to me by a teacher in the mid 2000s and i had no reason to think he was lying.
If I had a nickel for every time Justin covered a Reddit story involving someone unclogging a toilet with a household appliance made to cut things, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
Or on certain toilets... I have a toilet in the front room and, yeah, it requires a poop knife for anyone. I just doesn't flush well. So I just use the back toilet.
Back in the day I went to a public bathroom at a grocery store, and had a sighting of the worst poop situation imaginable. In the toilet was a giant shit, but I've seen those before when I cleaned toilets. This one was covered in blood, and there was blood all over the toilet like a horror movie. It had to have been almost a liter of blood with a shit the size of a forearm. I took a picture of it, and for a few months I would surreptitiously change my friends wallpaper on their computers when they weren't looking. Unfortunately the photo is lost to history along with the old flip phone I took the picture with. Nowadays as a "mature" adult, whenever I think about it, I just hope that person got medical help, it was that bad.
The poop knife 7 Damage Poopcurse II (Poopcuse effect) When used on an enemy, makes them shit uncontrollably. (Critical effect: bleeding) Applies bleeding if the attack was a crit.
Whang, my sister once asked for your name with “that good looking poop stories UA-camr with the mustache ..” and I did everything in my power to defend you!! So this video really isn’t helping my dude!!
When my sister and I were growing up, we had "The Poop Stick" instead of a knife or scissors. My family and I loved toilet humor and laugh about the "logs" or "loaves" that were too big to be flushed and had to be broken up. My mom would say, "You have to start eating better. Not so much fast food, bread, or sweets!" She'd be laughing about it at the same time!
This is one of my favorite stories... I remember the original post and laughing my face off at the fact that this poor guy went his whole life thinking that it was a normal thing to do. Thanks for covering it, Whang!
@r.a.fgattaiguy845 yeah, or how it prison, shanking someone "Jamaican style" means covering your shiv in shit, so when you stab someone, the wound is guaranteed to get infected and maybe kill them with sepsis. Sounds like something cartman would do.
Growing up, we had the Vomit Spoon. My father would always be hung over on weekend mornings, so he kept a spoon on the back of the toilet in a glass cup. We all knew not to touch it, because it was the spoon my father used to gag himself to cause him to vomit to help with his hangover. I remember being puzzled when mentioning the Vomit Spoon to my friends and them having no idea what I was talking about, because I just naturally assumed that it's something everyone had.
My grandma had a teaspoon as a vomit spoon but it wasnt for hangovers as she didnt drink, never learned what it was for as she died a few years back. Very confusing to be honest lol
I walked into the bathroom at the supermarket one time and there was a roughly 16 inch long by 4 inch wide shit that was so heavy it didnt even move after repeated flushing and it was one of those super powerful water jet toilets. That thing had to be like 5 pounds. Ill never forget it. Looked like someone gave birth.
Opiods! They clog your system up real good...and the system of whatever bathroom you're in when the hellspawn finally makes for freedom. It's especially bad with addicts. Depending on the neighborhood the supermarket was in, there might be a good chance that was a junkie's most recent adventure.
As a period haver, I can safely say my period poops are normal (I think) sized buuut the cramps are gnarly bc apparently sometimes the contractions that help shed your uterus get mixed up and make your intestines contract instead 😅
The poop knife sounds like it would fit in that weird blood filled children’s book genre Edit: I had a bad first impression of it so I think it would be more likely to be a family guy cutaway joke about someone hurting themselves on accident with the poop knife because they thought they had to cut it as it came out.
@@tcswed I found this strange genre of children's literature that's full of dark ideas and gore. Some examples of this genre are watership down, warriors, owls of ga hool, wings of fire and there's probably more of these weird things out in the wild that I don't want to read because they're probably aimed at edge lord pre teens.
@@robbycooper6787aybe you shoupd read those because I found very little to no connnection in titles you used as examples. Watership down is just a story about rabbits in the wild. It was not written to be gore, nature itself is just full of death. Warriors and owl one from what I found are war analogies so I don't really think children are target audience, same with the last one being just another fantasy setting. You made it sound like all these works are happy tree friends edge for sake for edge and that simply is not the case.
@@lep99 Which is equally incredible to me tbh. A company has got to be at least a bit brave to sponsor content like "Blowfly Girl". Dont remember if that one was sponsored but its a good example
I have a poop skewer. (We use it to break up the poo in the toilet, not to skewer it). Our poos are not hard enough to necessitate a knife or scissors.
I had a neighbor who bought a really old farm with an old farm house. Over the years the farm house had been "upgraded" with things like electricity, gas, and a septic tank. My neighbor had slowly over the years gotten things fixed (replaced asbestos and newspaper insulation with something less cancerous and flammable, changed the wiring from 1800's with tar impregnated cloth insulated wires, etc). It took a few years for land line telephone to reach him. He seriously paid his other neighbor to have a second phone line installed and ran nearly a mile of wire to his house. I'm talking very old and very rural. The last thing he was able to "fix" was the septic system. The old system was working but the code at the time it was installed was still new and missed important modern features (like 1/4 inch per foot downgrade to improve drainage, use 6 inch pipe instead of 4 inch, replace the leaky terracotta pipe that has bumpy joints with modern, jointless and slippery PVC, etc). The sewer system was the most expensive thing. His family had no issues after the upgrades but until they were done he had issues with the sewer system backing up or getting plugged and calling a plumber out too many times to clean it out of tree roots and paper stuck on the terracotta pipe joints. To help prevent issues he had a poop knife that was used to break everything up into smaller chunks that wouldn't overwhelm the ancient system.
As someone who's brother was always leaving massive clogs in the toilet I can assure you this would be a useful thing to have. Most people just cannot master the subtle art of unclogging a toilet.
LOL the whole time I was so impressed by this because I couldn't stop laughing listening... I have no idea how he said that without laughing! That is a talent in itself that I do not have!
I used to work for a daycare center for about 3 years, and I sort of had an incident like this. I had a young boy (probably 4-5) who used to take massive craps. So massive me and a bunch of other employees had to use a butter knife from the kitchen to cut it up into pieces so it could even flush. Never in my life did I think a child to do that.
I blocked a toilet in a customers house, there was nothing in the bathroom to cut it down with, so I used a store card from my wallet to cut it down, when I got home I realised I had left the poop cutter card in their bathroom, with my name... And my poop on it.
I was a custodian at a high school for a bit. There was a kid that would lay logs and just leave them in the toilet. Pretty much every custodian at the school would encounter them in different toilets. It was insane. I had no idea that it was a thing that people could make.
It's much easier to use a coat hanger. They work just as well and nobody will notice them go missing. Also, if they are dropping thick logs, they are just holding it in.
@@CaedusDeorum The same degenerates that throw the packaging and used vapes on the street, young folk in other words. The streets near me are constantly clogged with empty vape packets and discarded vapes (which they always smash) highly irritating and god knows what it's doing to the environment having burst batteries every where.
I used to do property maintenance. I've had to ask people to "break it up before you flush" after being to the same home three times in a week. I recommended a wire coat hanger.
Oh boy, I love being right on time to experience The Horrors! Edit: Every new reddit comment Whang discussed was an additional smack in the face, and hearing "The Penis (Eek!)" with the official poop knife at the end put me in my grave.
I casually go to tell my wife about these crazy tales from the internet, and I see the look of abject terror on her face and realize my mind is a cesspool 😂 You have warped my fragile little mind.
Thankfully, I read the poop knife story a couple years before having hernia surgery. They did something to my bowels while they were in there. Ever since, I have super condensed, forearm sized turds. A rigid plastic butter knife works fine. I made a little sheath for it out of duct tape on the back of the toilet, and I keep to go silverware with me everywhere I go. However, just because its chopped up, doesnt mean it will flush. I dont trust anyone who takes small shits, and doesnt have a plunger at the ready in every bathroom.
Nice, I was searching for this video some weeks ago thinking you actually made it at the time, but I guess I mistook it for the poop scissors one. Now it's official, gracias.
My mom will always ask if you need scissor (in Spanish) when you take too long in the bathroom but as far as I know, there has never been any poop cutters in the family
Damn. This brings back a memory… I lived in the Philippines for three months. My diet changed drastically over night. I was having rice three times a day. You might not know this, but rice is surprisingly not filling. Well, five days into our stay, I had yet to pass those nearly 15 portions of rice.. also, Philippine toilets are significantly smaller than in the States and require you to manually pour water in the bowl to flush. My buddy was the first to go. He came back to the room late at night nearly in tears. It was like giving birth, he said. There was nothing to do other than wrap the log into a neon green plastic bag and throw it away. Alas, there was nowhere to throw it discreetly. He opted to walk out on the back porch, twirl it above his head, and launch the bag into a neighboring rice field. We come to my turn. All is the same for me. It literally tore me. I was miserable for months before it began to heal. Well, I too threw it into the field, this time in a bright pink plastic bag. Now, for the most mortifying part: that night was a long one and the next day we had off of work. We slept long and hard… very much like what we birthed the night before. We slept almost till lunch. He woke up before me to see what had happened. He burst into the room and shook me awake to get me to come see. In the morning the neighbors had harvested the field!!! Right there on the ground were two neon plastic bags with what were so obviously giant shits. Probably bigger than the forearms of the folks that had harvested! We were stunned. Embarrassed beyond belief. We were too shy to do mention it to anyone. They were there for nearly three weeks before someone had cleaned them up. God bless their soul.
I’ve heard the phrase poop knife before. Two friends of mine from separate families where talking about them years ago. The whole thing reminded me of the three sea shells 🐚.
My god! I didn't know this was a thing! My little sister had a poop stick growing up and I've had to use a bag/glove to break down her massive sh!ts!!! I love her and I've bailed her out a few times lol. This vid made me feel a little bit better about our sh!tty upbringing
my little brother hated going to the bathroom. he would wait days (upwards of a week) at a time to go to the bathroom. when he would go, he would unleash monolithic demons from hell that weighed half his own. as you can guess, the toilet couldn’t handle it. My dad came up with the idea to get a plastic knife and cut it up. it worked, and we had to do this for awhile. my little brother was the only one with this problem, so nobody else had a poop knife. this was like maybe 7 years ago? he was very little at the time, like toddler and a little older. he doesnt have that issue anymore, thank jesus.
Man, you have no idea how much I love your videos. This year has been super stressful, but nothing helps me relax more, than your thoroughly researched stories about poop knives and other ungodly situations🥰
honestly, I have IBS, and I usually have to use this method. No amount of plunging is going to get that through the hole. If you haven't defecated in 5-6 days, your poo isn't like normal poo. it's like deli cheese before it's sliced. It can't really bend, or change form. However it comes out of the anus, it's staying that way.
The poop knife is the only famous gross-out internet story I learned about prior to any Whang videos (outside of 2 girls 1 cup and goatse). So I'm glad to hear more coverage lmao
You laugh at poop knives now, but thirty millenia down the line your distant descendants will be praying to never see their futuristic counterpart: a plague knife
I will admit, I used to have an opiate addiction, and pooped like once a week, and I mean mega cloggers. The only way they would go down is with a knife, but in my case I just used paint stirrers since I could easily throw them away afterwards. I no longer have this issue as I’m sober now and very very regular!
Man i used to drop Pringles can size cloggers back when i was doing dope. Also had a girlfriend that would constantly clog toilets, it was well known in her family. Mom said "yea shes always took massive shits" whem I told her about the constant clogs. She only weighed 115 pounds.😂
I know what you mean. I've been there, tthat stuff constipates you. The worse was when I was in the hospital for a month. They had been giving me IV dilaudid like every 2 to 3 hours for a month straight, combine that with the hospital food and well.... I'm a dude and have never given birth so I don't know what it feels like but I can only assume it was a similar experience and I was in tears.
My family (Northern Canada) used to keep a walrus tusk for this purpose. We called it Lord Tuskington, or occasionally the Toothmaster General. I have since migrated to Australia and keep the family tradition alive via an old didgeridoo fondly known as Splintery McTubeface.
I don't know what it is, but I feel like any story on reddit that involves poop or farting is always really well written😂Also, the comments & replies on the Poop Knife thread were just as good if not better than the original post
While trying to find something to watch while eating my breakfast I came across this gem. I am honestly for the first time having a hard time getting through this creamed chipped beef. 😢 But my god, this was indeed a gem..❤❤
I can't imagine what it would be like to carry around 3-4 days worth of digested food. Nor can I imagine what getting rid of it would be like. That's insane.
I use disposable wooden skewers when this happens. You just cut it up, wipe off the skewers for sanitary reasons, and toss them in the trash. You can also kinda lift up the toilet paper to assist with flushing. Always use two, they're not super strong.
you know… I thought the story was going to go in the direction where someone stuck the knife *inside* of them to cut the poop before it came out. so I’m very relieved lol
Yup, i saw the poop knife thumbnail and shouted to my gf "hey remember the poop scissors? Theres a poop knife now" and she seemed just as excited as me
i feel like every family has a story like this but is to shamed to tell and that’s why i won’t further go into detail about my family’s poop spatula incident
I’ve been waiting on this one holy shit. I always love when whang covers something I already knew about Edit: yo those dudes at 6:56 are straight up smokin crack
A guy in prison flushed his adult dipers and tried to cover it up , well it backed up into his cell and the cell next to it. they put the whole building on lock down as it started to flow across the floor and drip to the lower tier. it took 3 hours of snaking but about 30 dipers were pulled out of the drain.
At the Jackson County Highway department, they had a secretary who openly admitted that she brought a pair of scissors from home because she shat so big. A room full of grown men went absolutely silent. They were mortified and disgusted. I still think about it to this day.
"WHO SHIT THIS TURD?!"
A quote for the ages.
haha lolol
Yeah that one got me too
You made me make the weirdest noise that was technically supposed to be a laugh. Scared my cat. Please apologize.
I read this comment right as he said it!
Man those families having problems with bowels
I feel like we’ve become so desensitized to all these vile stories. I saw my notification and was like ah another one
I look forward to hearing about the depravity of mankind.
Tbh I'm completely desensitized too... and I'm kinda fascinated rather
Me too lol...
I don't see the problem. Everyone has a poop knife. Why be ashamed of it?!
@@PondScummerits sarcasm lmao
I'm glad he specified the wife got her own utility knife cause I genuinely thought he meant she got her own poop knife, and I didn't even question it 💀
Same 💀
Ngl it would had been pretty romantic 🥰❤
This was actually super common among opiate users back when i had a habit haha, not popping then having massive pinecone turds you couldnt poop out, like a bunch of hard pellets in a giant clump, and had to break them up on exit to be able to poop them out, and try not to clog the toilet
His and hers matching poop knife set
relationship goals
My dad & aunt are poopknife survivors. Grandpa was a small town depression tightwad and that meant two things: 1) lousy water pressure and 2) a starchy diet. Put 'em together and that's a standing order to use the poopknife.
Maybe it’s time to learn some of the tricks they used back then to save money now :/
If you’re taking poops too big for a toilet, you 100% are not eating right lol
Some of these should be bronzed.
Sometimes it's from medication....
Sure Must be nice to be able to eat healthy without having to worry about money....
All it takes is some oatmeal or fruit, some of the cheapest foods out there if you can't afford it then you're so poor you probably won't last much longer
@@ryanclemons1 I really hope you read this:
You spend money on things that contain no bioavailable micronutrients, leaving you hungry again a few hours later. If you spent your money on natural foods, you’d eat less and remain fuller for longer. Refined foods, food that comes in boxes and plastic bags, are both NOT cheap and provide NO nutritional benefits. You absolutely CAN afford to eat right, and if you don’t, I promise you won’t be able to afford to be sick later in life.
I really did just say "Oh hey, poop knife" out loud as if it's a normal thing people just know about
I did the same thing and I questioned all of my life choices.
I did the same, and no one in my house looked at me like I'd lost my mind.
You are not alone.
Same. We've seen too much...
I did the same thing and my wife was like wtf? I’ve told her about the poop knife many times but she always acts surprised when I bring it up.
I wouldn't have believed this story if not for a single event back when I worked as a public toilet cleaner in 2015. Someone managed to shit out a single circular piece of shit the size of an infant's head. I tried breaking that shit up with a toilet brush and then a plunger, but it just wouldn't come apart. I then had to just use my big rubber gloves to break it apart by hand. Shit was wild.
the shit was indeed wild
I think I would've just quit then and there.
@@orchiddolls3476 Same. I just would've left right there.
@@orchiddolls3476 I mean, it was the job. And out of 4 months of working there this was the only extreme event (well, outside of a dude puking because he saw another dude who puked all over the stall, or countless "shit all over the toilet bowl situations).
It was mainly a super chill job that also paid $10/h, while all of my friends got ~$7 at other jobs
Goddamn,a friend of mine worked as a school janitor and had to use hedge Clippers for giant turds.
The story of a bunch of stoners laughing at a guy asking to use his friends poop knife, has me laughing way more than it should be.
I literally imagined a house full of Beavis's and Buttheads.
yeah that shit's hilarious! pun intended!!
@@marga8732
What's even funnier about the whole situation is that this whole situation is something that's seemingly a "Guy's problem", yet it's instead a GIRL who's the one in this shitty position! Totally unexpected!
I’m going to put poop knives in all my bathrooms now
The weirdest part of it for me is the fact that the people in possession of these poop knives don’t keep them in the bathroom. Why wouldn’t you just shove that thing in a bag under the sink? Why leave the option open for someone to accidentally use it for something else?
My mom who is in her early 60's has wanted to "invent" a mass produced 💩 knife for years. I want to gag and wonder wtf is wrong with her anytime she has mentioned it over the years. I thankfully take after my dad's side.
Edit: she's gonna be sooo pissed that someone else manufactured it 1st! I know what's gonna be under my Xmas tree this year😂
$20 they sell for. Your Mum was on to something
@@MICHELLE-gu2qc she coulda been a millionaire, but she takes after her dad :D
They say everyone in their lifetime has a million dollar idea but not everyone acts on it. Sad your mom could have been rich if her family believed in her instead of shaming her
Please tell me you've already ordered, received, wrapped and hidden your mom's most memorable Christmas present ever!! If you haven't, it's time to get on the ball! Halloween shit just hit Walmart shelves. You are running out of time!!🤣🤣 Seriously tho! Hurry
Please god tell me you have an update on the Christmas surprise. How did she react?
They should incorporate a small blender inside toilets. Like a garbage disposal.
Have some kind of acid to dissolve the poo. Fuck it, even nanobots would do.
Definitely make sure the lid is closed when blending!
@@daneascott9645 now that you mention it, bad idea
Some hospitals have those actually. Like grinders in the bottom of the toilet
@@palanthas7063 NANOMACHINES SON!
the poop knife you can buy looks like the silicone spatula i have for cake frosting. fun fact about silicone kitchen tools, their main drawback is that they trap odors
Yuck 🤮
Opportunity to say SHATULA
Also an opportunity to use those cakes for farts lmao
I can totally confirm that period poops are literal lovecraftian entities brought into real life.
The WORST.
Feeling like you've run a marathon, and then the toilet roll is half the size it was before you went in.
I take the Pill everyday - no breaks, because the Week Off stipulation was made up to appease the Catholic church - to avoid (most) of the worst moments. But pray for me when I miss a day by accident. 😢
@@Peannluithis reply is the most real and relatable thing ever
it's true because it feels like your soul is leaving your body via your bowels. either that or you get constipated and tear something.
It feels like giving birth through your ass sometimes. Freaking AWFUL.
@@wenisdead6829 Constipated? During period dumps? Nah.
When I think of poop knife, I have a memory of someone in prison making a knife out of poop and freezing it so the knife was solid. And then using said weapon to effect escape from confinement. This story was told to me by a teacher in the mid 2000s and i had no reason to think he was lying.
That would be a devastating weapon but very temporary.
@@M60gunner1971 basically a poison enchanted dagger
If I had a nickel for every time Justin covered a Reddit story involving someone unclogging a toilet with a household appliance made to cut things, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
Yeah it having been a thing twice is ...pretty gnarly.
Doof ref?
did you miss the other comments from that reddit story?
The poop knife in that family is like an achievement you unlock when you're a certain age
Edit: 6 months and still getting likes
Imagine you're walking down the hallway and you hear the achievement unlocked notification sound come from the bathroom.
@@seafossil2221 "poopknife achievement unlocked" kinda stuff
Or on certain toilets... I have a toilet in the front room and, yeah, it requires a poop knife for anyone. I just doesn't flush well. So I just use the back toilet.
Just like the ol reliable su*cide revolver. Don't look up that greentext
Same with mine, it's a rite of passage the first time your massive poop warrants getting out the poop knife
Back in the day I went to a public bathroom at a grocery store, and had a sighting of the worst poop situation imaginable. In the toilet was a giant shit, but I've seen those before when I cleaned toilets. This one was covered in blood, and there was blood all over the toilet like a horror movie. It had to have been almost a liter of blood with a shit the size of a forearm. I took a picture of it, and for a few months I would surreptitiously change my friends wallpaper on their computers when they weren't looking. Unfortunately the photo is lost to history along with the old flip phone I took the picture with. Nowadays as a "mature" adult, whenever I think about it, I just hope that person got medical help, it was that bad.
Ran into that in an outhouse not too long ago.
was this in a womans bathroom? if so, then it was probably a period poop, so not as scary >.
The poop knife
7 Damage
Poopcurse II
(Poopcuse effect)
When used on an enemy, makes them shit uncontrollably.
(Critical effect: bleeding)
Applies bleeding if the attack was a crit.
Here's hoping it was a period.
it was probably period blood
Whang, my sister once asked for your name with “that good looking poop stories UA-camr with the mustache ..” and I did everything in my power to defend you!!
So this video really isn’t helping my dude!!
Tryna hook my boy up 😂 but hes lacking rizz rn
HAHAHAHA that’s so funny
Tbh I'm pretty sure Whang would be happy he's known as the "poop youtuber guy"
Hang on, is it the poop or Whang that is good looking.
You know what? Whang is pretty good looking.
When my sister and I were growing up, we had "The Poop Stick" instead of a knife or scissors. My family and I loved toilet humor and laugh about the "logs" or "loaves" that were too big to be flushed and had to be broken up.
My mom would say, "You have to start eating better. Not so much fast food, bread, or sweets!" She'd be laughing about it at the same time!
We should all know a little less about eachother, please delete this comment
This is one of my favorite stories... I remember the original post and laughing my face off at the fact that this poor guy went his whole life thinking that it was a normal thing to do. Thanks for covering it, Whang!
At least it wasn't a knife carved out of frozen poop, used as a weapon, which is what I first imagined.
that sounds like a South Park RPG item
@r.a.fgattaiguy845 yeah, or how it prison, shanking someone "Jamaican style" means covering your shiv in shit, so when you stab someone, the wound is guaranteed to get infected and maybe kill them with sepsis. Sounds like something cartman would do.
Thats what i thought
@@AliceBowie the vietnamese did that in the vietnam war with their traps so the united states would slowly lose more and more soldiers.
I'm sure there was a story of one being used that way in an Arctic expedition
Growing up, we had the Vomit Spoon. My father would always be hung over on weekend mornings, so he kept a spoon on the back of the toilet in a glass cup. We all knew not to touch it, because it was the spoon my father used to gag himself to cause him to vomit to help with his hangover. I remember being puzzled when mentioning the Vomit Spoon to my friends and them having no idea what I was talking about, because I just naturally assumed that it's something everyone had.
My grandma had a teaspoon as a vomit spoon but it wasnt for hangovers as she didnt drink, never learned what it was for as she died a few years back. Very confusing to be honest lol
@@perhaps1094 maybe for spooning a dose of ipecac?? idk
@@sexygirlmax2019 whats that? (Im guessing its american which i am not)
@@perhaps1094 I really hope she wasn't bulimic..
uuuuuh, WHAT?!
I walked into the bathroom at the supermarket one time and there was a roughly 16 inch long by 4 inch wide shit that was so heavy it didnt even move after repeated flushing and it was one of those super powerful water jet toilets. That thing had to be like 5 pounds. Ill never forget it. Looked like someone gave birth.
Opiods! They clog your system up real good...and the system of whatever bathroom you're in when the hellspawn finally makes for freedom. It's especially bad with addicts. Depending on the neighborhood the supermarket was in, there might be a good chance that was a junkie's most recent adventure.
Was it a mens or womens bathroom?
@@richardsanchez5444I say this as a woman, I bet it was the women's bathroom. I seen some foul shit from my own.
@@SaiSymbolic I don't doubt it.
@@SaiSymbolic I’ve cleaned both men and women’s bathrooms as my job (fun!) and the difference is staggering. Women’s bathrooms are so much worse.
As a period haver, I can safely say my period poops are normal (I think) sized buuut the cramps are gnarly bc apparently sometimes the contractions that help shed your uterus get mixed up and make your intestines contract instead 😅
Never trust a fart.
I learned something about women's anatomy today I don't think was ever meant for a man to learn
The poop knife sounds like it would fit in that weird blood filled children’s book genre
Edit: I had a bad first impression of it so I think it would be more likely to be a family guy cutaway joke about someone hurting themselves on accident with the poop knife because they thought they had to cut it as it came out.
Wait.. What book..? Lol
@@tcswed I found this strange genre of children's literature that's full of dark ideas and gore. Some examples of this genre are watership down, warriors, owls of ga hool, wings of fire and there's probably more of these weird things out in the wild that I don't want to read because they're probably aimed at edge lord pre teens.
@@robbycooper6787aybe you shoupd read those because I found very little to no connnection in titles you used as examples. Watership down is just a story about rabbits in the wild. It was not written to be gore, nature itself is just full of death. Warriors and owl one from what I found are war analogies so I don't really think children are target audience, same with the last one being just another fantasy setting. You made it sound like all these works are happy tree friends edge for sake for edge and that simply is not the case.
@@dziewiaty ok good to know, I think it was a bad initial impression
@@dziewiaty also I’m curious why and how did children end up watching watership down
god the secondhand embarrassment this story gives me is legendary
Oh thank fuck, I thought it was just me.
Secondhand embarrassement haver here.
FER REAL
You know you're a badass when you can get companies to sponsor your video about a poop knife
My first thought was "they sponsored THIS????"
He's had sponsors for way more uhm unsettling videos lol
@@lep99 Which is equally incredible to me tbh. A company has got to be at least a bit brave to sponsor content like "Blowfly Girl". Dont remember if that one was sponsored but its a good example
There are two kinds of people in this world: the ones with poop scissors and the ones with poop knives.
I have a poop skewer. (We use it to break up the poo in the toilet, not to skewer it). Our poos are not hard enough to necessitate a knife or scissors.
There are also people who are normal and don't have to do either
And the rare third kind of person who isn't 600 pounds and uses the toilet and flushes normally.
There's also those that have proper plumbing and don't exist on a diet of fat and sugar.
I haven't wheeze laughed in a long time. Thank you.
10:04 if he didn’t marry her after that… that has to be the biggest loss in history.
A knife cutting chocolate cake would have been perfect illustration here.
yummmmmm!!!!!!!
I had a neighbor who bought a really old farm with an old farm house. Over the years the farm house had been "upgraded" with things like electricity, gas, and a septic tank. My neighbor had slowly over the years gotten things fixed (replaced asbestos and newspaper insulation with something less cancerous and flammable, changed the wiring from 1800's with tar impregnated cloth insulated wires, etc). It took a few years for land line telephone to reach him. He seriously paid his other neighbor to have a second phone line installed and ran nearly a mile of wire to his house. I'm talking very old and very rural. The last thing he was able to "fix" was the septic system. The old system was working but the code at the time it was installed was still new and missed important modern features (like 1/4 inch per foot downgrade to improve drainage, use 6 inch pipe instead of 4 inch, replace the leaky terracotta pipe that has bumpy joints with modern, jointless and slippery PVC, etc). The sewer system was the most expensive thing. His family had no issues after the upgrades but until they were done he had issues with the sewer system backing up or getting plugged and calling a plumber out too many times to clean it out of tree roots and paper stuck on the terracotta pipe joints. To help prevent issues he had a poop knife that was used to break everything up into smaller chunks that wouldn't overwhelm the ancient system.
As someone who's brother was always leaving massive clogs in the toilet I can assure you this would be a useful thing to have. Most people just cannot master the subtle art of unclogging a toilet.
You flush with perfection, so that the water is as high as it can be without flooding the room, and you leave it there until the items go down
"The Poopknife"...that sounds like the name of a weapon you would see being used by a hobbo in the fallout or postal series.
Taking "cut the shit" to a whole new level
I don't know what is more impressive. The stories about the giant poops or the fact Justin can tell us all about it with a mostly straight face.
LOL the whole time I was so impressed by this because I couldn't stop laughing listening... I have no idea how he said that without laughing! That is a talent in itself that I do not have!
I used to work for a daycare center for about 3 years, and I sort of had an incident like this. I had a young boy (probably 4-5) who used to take massive craps. So massive me and a bunch of other employees had to use a butter knife from the kitchen to cut it up into pieces so it could even flush. Never in my life did I think a child to do that.
You didn't let the kid use the poop knife on his own poop? You could have presented to him as a gift and let it be like a rite of passage.
You should have made the Boy put the turd in his pocket and leave quietly.
The day has finally come. Hopefully this clears things up for everyone who confused the two.
I blocked a toilet in a customers house, there was nothing in the bathroom to cut it down with, so I used a store card from my wallet to cut it down, when I got home I realised I had left the poop cutter card in their bathroom, with my name... And my poop on it.
Imagine breaking into this family's house and u hear them say "bring out the poop knife!"
Dookie stories always makes me laugh super hard. I worked in septic installation and repair so im also eating chocolate pudding while I watch this
Bro enjoys his work a little too much…… 🤨
@thenelsonbruhs722 when they needed to empty the septic tank they'd send him down
@@boinkmcbingo8890 mmmmmmm i love ass mud!!!
One day hes gonna have to make a vid about you too
Ayoo 🧐
I was a custodian at a high school for a bit. There was a kid that would lay logs and just leave them in the toilet. Pretty much every custodian at the school would encounter them in different toilets. It was insane. I had no idea that it was a thing that people could make.
Did you make photos of these alleged cigars?
@@M60gunner1971 Lol no never. I just try to get rid of them asap.
It's much easier to use a coat hanger. They work just as well and nobody will notice them go missing.
Also, if they are dropping thick logs, they are just holding it in.
This will surely be the top comment soon
BIG facts
Or dehydrated.
@@_MissLoLo you have to be deceptive when you are the household's big pooper
My lord.
He was 22 years old when he found out not every family has a poop knife. How old was he when he found out no other families have a poop knife?
22
When I saw the title of this video, the first thought that came to mind was a knife that was somehow forged from poop.
Reddit and Poop Stories: the most iconic duo since PB&J
Poop butter and jelly ?
@@Gatorade69 Redditors are typically jealous of "normies" living decent livings so yes
As a janitor, this is the best video I could’ve possibly watched after having to fish a few vapes out of a toilet
@@LostSoulchild89 first time
Honestly I’m not surprised, there are gagglefucks of kids vaping in the bathrooms at my HS
What kind of degenerate tries to flush vape pens
@@CaedusDeorum The same degenerates that throw the packaging and used vapes on the street, young folk in other words. The streets near me are constantly clogged with empty vape packets and discarded vapes (which they always smash) highly irritating and god knows what it's doing to the environment having burst batteries every where.
@scottneil1187 hey hey hey, we may smash them, but we sure as hell don't *smoke* them!
The way he describes the poop knife makes it sound like they were standard issued like rifles, MREs, helmets, uniforms and Poop knifes on militarys.
9:38 I wasn’t expecting a story about a poop knife of all things to make me miss my dad, but here we are😂
I used to do property maintenance.
I've had to ask people to "break it up before you flush" after being to the same home three times in a week.
I recommended a wire coat hanger.
Oh boy, I love being right on time to experience The Horrors!
Edit: Every new reddit comment Whang discussed was an additional smack in the face, and hearing "The Penis (Eek!)" with the official poop knife at the end put me in my grave.
If aliens ever invade and ask for our greatest achievement as a species, I'll gladly refer to our patented fecal buster sword 😂🤣🤣💩🔪
I casually go to tell my wife about these crazy tales from the internet, and I see the look of abject terror on her face and realize my mind is a cesspool 😂
You have warped my fragile little mind.
After watching whang for a while I just see these and I’m not even grossed out anymore 😭
Thankfully, I read the poop knife story a couple years before having hernia surgery. They did something to my bowels while they were in there. Ever since, I have super condensed, forearm sized turds. A rigid plastic butter knife works fine. I made a little sheath for it out of duct tape on the back of the toilet, and I keep to go silverware with me everywhere I go. However, just because its chopped up, doesnt mean it will flush. I dont trust anyone who takes small shits, and doesnt have a plunger at the ready in every bathroom.
I had no idea this existed.
I mean a plunger is needed.
Nice, I was searching for this video some weeks ago thinking you actually made it at the time, but I guess I mistook it for the poop scissors one. Now it's official, gracias.
My mom will always ask if you need scissor (in Spanish) when you take too long in the bathroom but as far as I know, there has never been any poop cutters in the family
the same phrase used to be said in Czechia
Yeah, in Chile we say "¿te traigo un serrucho?" / "do you need a saw?"
your mom does it!!!
she revealed it by asking the question!
I'm slowly becoming convinced that Whang has been going back in time and making these poop artifacts himself so that he can have a video topic
some had too.
if whang had the power of time travel on his hands he wouldn't waste his time doing that.
he'd be swimming the septic tanks of the colosseum
Damn. This brings back a memory…
I lived in the Philippines for three months. My diet changed drastically over night. I was having rice three times a day. You might not know this, but rice is surprisingly not filling.
Well, five days into our stay, I had yet to pass those nearly 15 portions of rice.. also, Philippine toilets are significantly smaller than in the States and require you to manually pour water in the bowl to flush.
My buddy was the first to go. He came back to the room late at night nearly in tears. It was like giving birth, he said. There was nothing to do other than wrap the log into a neon green plastic bag and throw it away. Alas, there was nowhere to throw it discreetly. He opted to walk out on the back porch, twirl it above his head, and launch the bag into a neighboring rice field.
We come to my turn. All is the same for me. It literally tore me. I was miserable for months before it began to heal. Well, I too threw it into the field, this time in a bright pink plastic bag.
Now, for the most mortifying part: that night was a long one and the next day we had off of work. We slept long and hard… very much like what we birthed the night before. We slept almost till lunch.
He woke up before me to see what had happened. He burst into the room and shook me awake to get me to come see. In the morning the neighbors had harvested the field!!! Right there on the ground were two neon plastic bags with what were so obviously giant shits. Probably bigger than the forearms of the folks that had harvested!
We were stunned. Embarrassed beyond belief. We were too shy to do mention it to anyone. They were there for nearly three weeks before someone had cleaned them up. God bless their soul.
I cannot imagine exposing yourself on an account with your real name and face for 1 like 😭😭
I’ve heard the phrase poop knife before. Two friends of mine from separate families where talking about them years ago. The whole thing reminded me of the three sea shells 🐚.
My god! I didn't know this was a thing! My little sister had a poop stick growing up and I've had to use a bag/glove to break down her massive sh!ts!!! I love her and I've bailed her out a few times lol. This vid made me feel a little bit better about our sh!tty upbringing
...HA!
Before Poop Scissors and Poopknife, I had never heard of people who poop so large they require a toilet implement.
Everything's bigger in America!.
my little brother hated going to the bathroom. he would wait days (upwards of a week) at a time to go to the bathroom. when he would go, he would unleash monolithic demons from hell that weighed half his own. as you can guess, the toilet couldn’t handle it. My dad came up with the idea to get a plastic knife and cut it up. it worked, and we had to do this for awhile. my little brother was the only one with this problem, so nobody else had a poop knife. this was like maybe 7 years ago? he was very little at the time, like toddler and a little older. he doesnt have that issue anymore, thank jesus.
"Monolithic Demons" 🤣🤣🤣
My grandpa had a poop knife. I miss him a lot. The whole family laughed about it.
Man, you have no idea how much I love your videos. This year has been super stressful, but nothing helps me relax more, than your thoroughly researched stories about poop knives and other ungodly situations🥰
honestly, I have IBS, and I usually have to use this method. No amount of plunging is going to get that through the hole. If you haven't defecated in 5-6 days, your poo isn't like normal poo. it's like deli cheese before it's sliced. It can't really bend, or change form. However it comes out of the anus, it's staying that way.
As somebody else with IBS, I can confirm.
stay strong soldier, i'm watching this while on the toilet
I thought IBS meant diarrhea
@@kricku it can cause either diarrhea or constipation depending on the person
@@superdupermii Cool, how do I get it?
The poop knife is the only famous gross-out internet story I learned about prior to any Whang videos (outside of 2 girls 1 cup and goatse). So I'm glad to hear more coverage lmao
You laugh at poop knives now, but thirty millenia down the line your distant descendants will be praying to never see their futuristic counterpart: a plague knife
I will admit, I used to have an opiate addiction, and pooped like once a week, and I mean mega cloggers. The only way they would go down is with a knife, but in my case I just used paint stirrers since I could easily throw them away afterwards. I no longer have this issue as I’m sober now and very very regular!
Man i used to drop Pringles can size cloggers back when i was doing dope. Also had a girlfriend that would constantly clog toilets, it was well known in her family. Mom said "yea shes always took massive shits" whem I told her about the constant clogs. She only weighed 115 pounds.😂
I know what you mean. I've been there, tthat stuff constipates you. The worse was when I was in the hospital for a month. They had been giving me IV dilaudid like every 2 to 3 hours for a month straight, combine that with the hospital food and well.... I'm a dude and have never given birth so I don't know what it feels like but I can only assume it was a similar experience and I was in tears.
I’m all too familiar with the opiate torpedos and the infinity wipe
I'm glad you've finally covered this story, I likewise could have swore you already did
God the poop knife story kills me everytime. Can't believe you haven't done this one before.
My family (Northern Canada) used to keep a walrus tusk for this purpose.
We called it Lord Tuskington, or occasionally the Toothmaster General.
I have since migrated to Australia and keep the family tradition alive via an old didgeridoo fondly known as Splintery McTubeface.
Glad we have someone like Whang to clear up any confusion and educate us on topics such as this. Truly doing the lord's work here
Always grab extra chopstix at Panda Express. You’ll thank me 😉
❤disposable!
I don't know what it is, but I feel like any story on reddit that involves poop or farting is always really well written😂Also, the comments & replies on the Poop Knife thread were just as good if not better than the original post
While trying to find something to watch while eating my breakfast I came across this gem. I am honestly for the first time having a hard time getting through this creamed chipped beef. 😢
But my god, this was indeed a gem..❤❤
"History doesn't often repeat, but it often rhymes" is such a hard quote, NGL.
I can't imagine what it would be like to carry around 3-4 days worth of digested food. Nor can I imagine what getting rid of it would be like. That's insane.
Perfect bedtime story timing. This man is a national treasure.
I use disposable wooden skewers when this happens. You just cut it up, wipe off the skewers for sanitary reasons, and toss them in the trash. You can also kinda lift up the toilet paper to assist with flushing. Always use two, they're not super strong.
Just use a metal one. Better for the environment 💩.
you know… I thought the story was going to go in the direction where someone stuck the knife *inside* of them to cut the poop before it came out. so I’m very relieved lol
I love the music choices on poop themed episodes
Yup, i saw the poop knife thumbnail and shouted to my gf "hey remember the poop scissors? Theres a poop knife now" and she seemed just as excited as me
Y'all need to eat a single vegetable
0:53 I like how he uses the same poop stock photo in every video.
Unless you live in California, companies are NOT legally required to remove your information from their databases. Very important distinction.
4:10 the fiber is what makes the poop stick together. If they had to use the poop knife, then it means they ate a loot of it
Considering they were all high, I can imagine man's friend was absolutely dying laughing when he was explaining what a poop knife was
i feel like every family has a story like this but is to shamed to tell
and that’s why i won’t further go into detail about my family’s poop spatula incident
I think we've all had to break one apart into smaller pieces at least once in our life 😂
Ah. The roughest days or roughest shits can always be cured by a fresh Whang! video. 💩🔪
You are the hero we need, Justin. ♥️
I thought this was gonna be vile, but instead I got to hear something alot more lighthearted.
With this and Illuminaughtii's leaked toilet story, I wonder how bad is plumbing in the US.
9:10 this stock footage is foul. curse you bio
I’ve been waiting on this one holy shit. I always love when whang covers something I already knew about
Edit: yo those dudes at 6:56 are straight up smokin crack
More like sliced and diced shit.
I was looking for this comment. It sorta reminds me of meth and breaking bad
I still can't comprehend the idea of a poop so large that it clogs the toilet
a delicate balance of cheese and painkillers, my friend
A guy in prison flushed his adult dipers and tried to cover it up , well it backed up into his cell and the cell next to it. they put the whole building on lock down as it started to flow across the floor and drip to the lower tier. it took 3 hours of snaking but about 30 dipers were pulled out of the drain.
At the Jackson County Highway department, they had a secretary who openly admitted that she brought a pair of scissors from home because she shat so big.
A room full of grown men went absolutely silent.
They were mortified and disgusted.
I still think about it to this day.
Whang have you ever heard of the tale of Garlic Cock Guy? Might be a good video topic, fit right in line with the rest of these.