@@coreybart2783 It depends what you mean with 'did it work' ;). Did it work to get over her (or at least almost)? Yeah, definitly. Did it work to get her back? No
If people can walk away from you let them walk. Never try to talk someone into being with you. It doesn't matter what they did for you, how wonderful they are, or how attracted you are to them. Your destiny is never tied to the person that left. If they left you it's no accident. If you tried to make it work it's no accident. Just clap your hands, hold your head up high, do your dance and keep moving forwards. Never perceive your value on how someone treats you. What they do or don't do doesn't determine your worth. If you rely on people for validation you'll be disappointed. Happiness comes from within. Be selfish. Believe in you. You are amazing.
This is perfect advice. For me, i got dumped 7 months ago and went to work. Gym....lost 50Lbs, took dance lessons.....and the girls at the studio like my new body. When i look in the mirror, i see a happy, more confident badass looking back at me. And i ask myself, "what would i rather have, the new me or a girl that didnt want me? The answer is obvious to me today, while it wasnt 7 months ago. Rory, terrific video. Thanks, King.
It's not worth the emotional setback! Don't do it! You see, the anxiety you felt was only meant to be temporary post break-up. Let them sit with the reality that they no longer have you in their life and that the grass really wasn't greener on the other side. If they truly wanted to reconnect, they'd reach out to you.
Rory, I have been watching your videos for 2 years. I was in a very bad place back then. After making some terrible mistakes at the start of my break up (begging, crying, and getting blocked), I followed your advice to the T. No contact for months. I followed all of your steps. I did the work. It took a very long time, but my ex came back, and eventually he asked to get back together. I had grown so much more than he had. It didn't last, but now we're real friends and I'm happier this way, and I feel more in control of that happiness. I never thought I would be here. Thank you so much for all of your help.
I don’t recommend to reach out as Rory Said , they didn’t even make the minimum effort to check on you by only 4 words “ hi how are you ? “ why would you gift them your contact if they just left you ? don’t get me wrong Its not a challenge or an ego , mind games call it how you like ... its just the logic , they chose to leave. I wish really to get each others at least in contact again , and I pass through some weakness times during my 4 months now ! but the idea I mentioned up is keeping me away from doing it 🤷🏻♂️
I agree. Even if we planned to text them later in the evening or the next day in the morning, we don't have the energy or feel like to text anymore as the time goes. It makes us realise our worth and start to think as a mature being. Of course we still love and miss them. We've showed enough. But they left us.
"the best way to get someone attention is to remove yours" my ex calls me every 4-5 days begging me to call her as much as I need her so badly I'm letting her chase me she's the one who left after all.... Rory you're always on time with these advice...
Good for you bro, honestly. Stay strong, focus on you and know your worth. If you two hook back up, have a convo with her. Make sure to say the key line "how will it be different this time?" Her answer will tell you all you need to know.
@@ryanmac8829well I'm the one made a mistake and she keeps bringing it up bout how she's blameless 😑and never did nothing wrong but good point tho I'll surely follow your advice bro...
@@Calida2308 yea I tried tried and tried but she was annoyed by it till she blocked me on social media I never cared anymore start NC on day 18 she called me and asking me why I don't call her to check up....in my head I'm like wtf you want with me, you didn't care enough to be with me...
@@kemardavis4459 how long did u try n try ? She just need attention.. Stupid attitude..! Thts no love. My crush had to stop contact with me end of August as he is a commander.. N me a soldier 2..n couldn't handle his duties n his emotions torwards me.. He has a crush on me as well.. I tried n tried.. But he said tht pushes him further away, annoys him n he have to protect himself.. I contacted every month since September.. But he still avoids me at job.. No fight nothing. . So. I think he isn't emotionally free.. Else there would be no problem to meet Profesional right? From February on I do nothing
Agree with you Rory never reaching out I've made that mistake when I was younger with a couple of ex's and it never turned out right and sent me into a depression afterwards. I had looked back and hated that I reached out. It really felt worse than being broken up with.
My question is WHY would you WANT to contact your ex? Keep your sanity. Don't do it. At least in my case, I want nothing to do with the narcissistic (expletive here) that did me wrong.
tbh plenty of people on TLC claim that their ex is narcissistic monster until you start talking to them and then realize why people run from them. Its very rare for people to accept their part of responsibility.
@@gondor532 Interesting. It does take two but when you're being abused and manipulated to try and make the person stay (trying to get me to stay), I am pretty sure that is narcissistic behavior. I moved to another city to get away from this person. Hopefully, he doesn't know where I live and doesn't care anymore.
@@rubyray777 I dont know about your exact case, but most of the people I talked to made some serious mistakes themselves before they exes left. I know I did, but the thing is when you listen to them they don't even seem to realize what they did to contribute the breakup. Ofcourse Im not saying that there are no people who were with narcissists and sociopaths, but its far more rare than presented.
I agree with you---if they did the breaking up they should reach out. It just comes across as weak, condescending, and implies all your happiness depends on them if you reach out. Be strong and whether you know it or not you will have their respect but most important of all you will respect yourself.
Exactly! This video is not meant to encourage reaching out - but to DISCOURAGE it. Still - not matter how much I say not to some people are going to anyway. I want to minimize the risks for those people as well as the others who don't reach out.
I love my ex, and probably always will, BUT I don’t think I could take him back anytime soon. He was very damaged when our relationship began, but I stuck around because I don’t like giving up. I communicated my concerns with him, but he would dismiss them, or act oblivious. Ultimately He broke up with me. Don’t make the same mistake I made. If someone isn’t giving you the love, and affection you deserve, LEAVE. The emotional turmoil is not worth it. Do NOT reach out. Respect your ex, and most importantly yourself.
I'll say what my mom said about contacting my ex and/or their friends asking about them...don't stick your hand into acid and be surprised when you get burned. Just don't do it.
Agree Rory! Never ever reach out your ex if he/she ended the relationship. If we reach out again, it will hurt deeply. Also, agree with Rory never expect anything from ex. Love you Rory
Why would you want to reach out to someone who hurt you? More often than not, by reaching out you’re inviting that person to further hurt you. Instead, use this time to focus on yourself (health, career, school, goals, hobbies, etc). By doing so, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re healing, and there’s a possibility you may even forget about your ex (has happened to me on several occasions). I know it’s easier said than done, especially when the breakup is fresh, but give it time. And by “give it time” I don’t mean sit around doing nothing, but rather being active- be it with a work/school project, workout sessions, socialising, traveling etc. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes your pain. You’re gonna be okay.
Forget your ex. Get yourself into the gym or, better yet, start training in Jiu Jitsu. You won't have time or energy to think about someone who doesn't want you in their life hehe. It gets better guys. Rory, good to see TLC is growing, keep up the great work. I'm pleased to say I haven't watched your videos in a HOT minute. "Get busy living or get busy dying!" Take care everyone, life gets better.
Im doing bjj and hitting the gym.hard .Lost 40 pounds since Oct. 2020 .I can sense myself getting stronger and better .My ex is dating someone else but I'm starting to be indifferent as evry day passes
First video of yours I’ve watched that I CAN’T relate to! And it’s awesome! I definitely wanted to reach out maybe a month ago, now not so much. Just stay no contact people, it will help clear your mind! Thanks Rory!
Still clicked this knowing I will never reach out lol. My ex that I’m with for 9 years and my best friend are together now. And We’ve only broken up for 3months.. Been working on myself since then and I’m doing better. As long as I keep them out of my life. I’d be alright.
oh man. that's brutal. I had a period of my life where all the women I wod date would hook up with all my friends. even so much as... one ex married my brother (and just divorced him a year and a half ago.) I feel this pain.
If you’re thinking about reaching out... don’t, please don’t do it. I ruined my chances with my ex because I thought I could change her mind (after 2 months). And to make things worse, your ex will become more cruel after each time you reach out... YOU WILL RUIN YOUR CHANCES! and it will hurt you even more... listen to me, don’t make the same mistake I did, please don’t do it.
@@coreybart2783 i mean you could do that, but not before at least 4-5 months. Any time earlier than that, and they might reject you immediately, since you didn’t give them the break up. They’ll feel like they’re in control, and WILL 100% treat you like absolute trash (knowing that you will probably do nothing about it, since you’re still thinking about them). From my experience, talking to an ex trying to convince them to come back, is a terrible idea.
@@coreybart2783 let me just tell u this one thing. Please, don’t stalk her on social media, don’t ask about her, keep your distance, keep yourself busy, go out with other girls (she 100% did this one), HIT THE DAMN GYM!! And every time you feel like you need to contact her remember this: SHE left you, SHE ended it, SHE decided that it’s not gonna work out, and if she wanted you to be with her, SHE must be the one to contact you. Even if you want her back, nc is the proper approach. Good luck my friend 🙏
Day 50 of NC here. Around day 30 I was still emotional, not as bad as the first week, but still felt some pain. Sometime between day 30 and 40 my emotional state switched along with my attitude. I have been following everything Rory says, plus some extra, along with the counseling, I’ve done some research on how to best use a counselor, or the questions that needed to be asked. I began running every-night, and when I got back and showered, it made falling asleep much easier. I write out a my daily routine the night before and stick to it to the best of my ability. I have a morning ritual right when I wake up: -fold my bed, stretch -50 to 100 push-ups -meditate( Iuse the calm app or the per recommendation of the UA-cam page, mindsmash, whose content I highly recommend). -Pour a cup of coffee and take a walk around my block while listing to positive affirmations. Do i still feel sad or anxious, yes, but i see that light at the end of the tunnel. Keep hustling everyone!
could you please do a video on how to deal with the fear that your ex will find someone new or has already found someone? It‘s been a really hard time for me because even though I’m feeling pretty good about myself and working on myself, I often think about that he might have just moved on from me...
Please don’t reach out. I did! Polite, very short response. Then reached out again. Same. Obsessive thoughts returned until a longer, deeper message... No response. It sets you back months.
Some while ago I reached out to an ex that dumped me but I really didn't care about the outcome. Actually, I reached out 'cause one of her relatives was sick and it felt natural to offer support, like I would to every other person that somehow mattered in my life. Long story short, we ended up in a 7 year long happy and strong relationship (ended in the end but due to completely differenty reasons). I know that's a very specific scenario though, not really ideal if you are still holding a torch.
After 8-9 Months of no contact. I started feeling alright, I started a new business, Making more money, Kept in good shape, dated beautiful women but the thought of my ex would come by every day. I thought I would be okay with rejection. I decided to wish her a happy new year and asked to meet. She said it's not a good idea. Now I'm feeling back at day 1. Don't reach out.
OMG Rory! I was just thinking about this for the last 4 days!! Perfect timing indeed! Thank you for all your advice, I really appreciate it. It helps me to endure no contact and focus on my self!
It got easier for me to stop counting the days. When I did after a while I got to the point where I would over think and say to myself I can't believe she hasn't reached out in ect ect many days.
dont mind me just listening to my daily lovechat podcasts because i'm heartbroken and wanna be a better version of me because otherwise i wont stop suffering 😩
Yeah Rory, holy shit You've bring my power back after re-watching this video again for 2nd time, the moment i want to settle unfinished business with my ex I've placed the mindset of nothing to lose, at first after knowing my ex doesn't care and being so cold it was so hard, but right the moment when you reminds your purpose and you feel nothing to lose and you gonna continue your life anyway it bring the power back to me to keep fighting for my live. Im sorry if i comment twice but man, you've save my ass again and again. I'm looking forward for your next channel, and i hope it will grow even bigger or same as tlc it's self Thank you hero.
In short; no. Do NOT reach out. Reply on your own terms if they reach out to you, without being harsh or mean of course. Know now your worth. Don't beat the point into the ground, obviously. But live your life, forge yourself into the best version of yourself you can be, but do it for YOU.
@@TheLoveChat really??? Oh man sorry it’s my first time noticing it. I’ve been following you since my break up last year. I guess since I’m doing better I’m able to notice things now
Only video don't agree with.... I hadn't talk to my ex gf for year and half.... And I thought what the hey let's see what she up to expecting nothing..... Low and behold her interest level was resparked.... but I didn't want her nomore..... So reaching out after long long time won't harm you
It's been a year since my ex of 4 years broke up with me. She called several times, even when she was seeing someone new. We even got to hook up like 3 months after the breakup. It's so hard, watching that person that was your whole life just drift away. It sucks, and there's nothing you can do about it. Once it's over, it's over.
My ex literally unblocked me on ig yesterday... so many questions going on in my head. Honestly kinda wish he kept me blocked because now i’m tempted to reach out or expecting him to reach out 😩 i’m staying strong though. Thanks Rory
No. Uninstall the app. Let him go, he is tempting you to contact him. Let him comeback to you, he broke up he made the choice to walk away for whatever reason, work on you, pick up the dignity self love, and let go. Don't contact him
Same thing happened to me. I don’t know when because I don’t install social media. But it’s exactly like Maria said. The bottom line that I am using is: nothing else matters but direct contact. I don’t care if she unblocks me, tries to follow me, likes stuff (hasn’t happened), the bare minimum that we must only accept is direct and intentional contact. That’s it. Don’t take anything else as a sign or it will drive you crazy. Keep working on yourself Amanda.
@@Amanda-dm7oj I will tell you briefly what happened to me, on 1/1/21 my LD boyfriend broke up I had to swallow my tears in a 12 hours flight back to America, I accepted it the break up, I got sick and depressed was sad, anyway on Thursday I let him go, I put him on God's hands, and Yesterday he texted me. watch this videos and get busy, go for a walk, pray meditate, volunteer.. anything but contact him
I was the one who walked away. Surprisingly enough for me, I feel good. I know that after so many times of going back to him he's not going to change so even if I feel like reaching out my bad memories of him stop me in my tracks. 🍒
It's been 16-18 months by this point? I'm not sure. I miss her and I'd like to get back together, but i'm no longer hurt or anything. I feel I just need to meet someone new, to fully get over her or maybe I'm fooling myself, not sure. I'm on my grind, moneywise, knowledgewise, but there's something that is still missing here
Hi Rory, a local coach here is telling us to do radio silence. I would have to deactivate my social media (not block but my ex wont see my profile) for about a month and work on myself. After that time. I would post my success but not much like 1 post a week. That coach said it would make them curious enough to reach out.
pls make a video on when your ex cheated on u ended the relationship and now with the person who cheated on you with . pls make a video i feel terrible
So, I told my ex wife that I wasn’t interested in being just friends. She is the one that said that’s all she had to offer, so I guess we won’t be friends and bye. I assume that it’s her responsibility to get in touch with me correct?
One Month of no contact and this time it will be forever even if i die missing her i don't wanna beg anymore no matter how bad bf i was she thought i did enough to save the Relationship now if she want not to see me ever again i Will give her that
I reached out via email yesterday to say hello how are you after 18 months of no contact because if I hear no or never hear back after that,I have closure.
I broke my NC after 2 months because I know I have made mistakes because I added to her stress. Yes I know it's risky, but she did not respond. I expected is a know, but I'm not blocked yet. Back in NC again
The no expectation is helping me a lot. I have no idea how he’s doing but I like to convince myself to believe that he has a new gf. It’s a big turn off for me, makes me never want to hear from him. Idk, its easier for me this way. 🤣
This is so depressing ! I can’t get her off my mind like it’s been couple of months but those times I was still around even we broke up...she been relationship since I’ve been broken up I don’t know what’s going on with her anything like that no mutual friends no social media friends nothing....it’s complete mystery
This video came on the right timing, I dated this girl for 4 mths and it was great then she break up with me, I made the mistakes when she broke up and I went into no contact, it's been 2 mths now of NC, I am planning to reach out this weekend and have no expectations as I believe there is no harm in reaching out as I have nothing to lose. Let's see if she will reply to my text.
@@stormfalcon72 2 mths is still fresh but we dated for 4 mths its half of the duration of dating with her? i am not keeping my hopes high, just trying to see and observe what will she do.
Completley agree, my ex broke up with me three times now and everytime she reached back out. Although now im at day 25 NC this time round (it didnt take this long last time) I think it may be over this time. But ill never reach out when she broke it off yet again.
@@kanenufc873 You agree to work on it while in the relationship.. and you don't leave unless you mean it. You certainly don't go back and forth 3 times. Find someone who will stick it out with you and doesn't run.
It's been 1year and I still wanna reach out. Its not like I am not doing personal growth. I have got a good job. I have many friends. I workout. And my life is pretty much good and I am happy with it. But still i miss her and wanna reach out.
Advice please guy's . I broke up with my DA ex of 17 months it's complicated mainly around he's inability to hold space for me especially after my parents died of Covid last year. We did an exchange of stuff at my door & he said he doesn't love me 3 wks later he called saying he does love me & wants to get back together I'm in a state of oscillating between no way & um. Rory i am looking after myself in all the best ways but now a little confused.
What if they reach out every few days. I was very polite for 6-7 times when they reached out but I was closed because I was healing. Then around 10 days back they reached out (as usual) indirectly, and I opened up and asked for a phone call, they said sure but never followed through. Yesterday they reached out again, indirectly, a question to which an answer would be available easily on the internet. I politely responded but they reached out again few hours later. What's going on?
@@alicenlucy like Rory says, the main thing is that you cannot be attached to a certain outcome. For me , I was at a stage where I didn't really care whether she said yes or no to a meet up. Nevertheless, it really depends on the length of the relationship and how close you guys were. My ex and I have had strong chemistry and connection that exists til this very day even tho we have been apart for a year and are dating other peope
@@alicenlucy it's a long story. We were together for 4 years total and towards the end of our relationship , our communication fell apart and she had (still has) unresolved internal issues. Just focus on yourself and it will get better with time. You might not even want your ex after awhile. I still miss my ex and love her, but I don't want to get back with her anymore
My ex has been reaching out to me, he really wanted to communicate but everytime he couldn't stop mentioning how things was not good for him, had a long phone with call with him it was ok, I kept my spirit up and he said he's still struggling in his head. Now he asked for a meet up, says that phone call asked for more conversation. I said I'll think about it but I don't know how to continue the path, the relationship was very decent and good but I didn't fix my problems and made him hurt for a long time until he cheated. Any advice?
Hey rory so basically my situation is I was in no contact for a about two months and then my ex reached out and it was just breadcrumbs so I left it alone then she reached out again to ask how I was doing we briefly talked and I carried on then she started reaching out everyday trying to call and talk all the time and me I made minimal time for that I didn’t make it a priority to text her I’m just confused at this point is it ok for me to reach out to her after she has tried to talk to me everyday I’m not sure but just curious and looking for a answer thanks !
HOLY SHIT i was literally just searching about 10 hours ago "When can I reach out to my ex the love chat" and didnt really find anything, AND THEN U UPLOAD THIS. RORY U GOAT thanks i needed this coach 😌
@@TheLoveChat I already expected that was the advice you were gonna give, I was simply just curious about your specific take on it hence i searched for it prior, haha (Btw suggestion to include the video title in the display screen / thumbnail aswell like before. It's easier to keep track of the videos when i sometimes download them offline. Either way keep up the good work Rory :)
I broke up with him tried to fix things coz i know it was my fault..a week later his in another relationship..it does get better but it hits you hard some days 😪
I'm not sure what to tell you but no one gets into another relationship within a week.This is the biggest red flag I can think of. I know it sucks but if you have already attempted to make up for it and there is no effort on his part you will have to let it go. Don't attempt to fix something on your own for which you need two people. I hope you are ok and here's a hug from me. :)
I listen the this all the time, but it seems to concern more "dating" issues than marriage and divorce. Does this advice really relate to marriage/divorce? I was dumped by wife and it still hurts like hell everyday and regardless of everything I still want her back. But I just don'tsee how that could ever happen after the way she treated me.
This probably sounds bizzare but i actually think he's just embarrassed about his behaviour and he's now trying to save face and hoping he will just be able to forget about me while suffering in silence. I know that sounds ridiculously ego centric but I honestly think that's the case. It never really got off the ground, it totally feels like unfinished business. There was so much potential but he messed it up by refusing to apologise for something stupid. I wouldn't be surprised if he considered reaching out daily but his pride is stopping him because he would then have to (God forbid) admit he was wrong. Maybe it will take him trying to replace me for a while until he realises that if you find someone special you should probably apologise to them if you're wrong. Until then he'll live in denial because it's easier. It's a real shame but I'm starting to notice that people nowadays are VERY concerned with looking like the 'winner' more so than actually being in a loving relationship.
@eminegunduz7797 Told me he was seeing someone else, then i got kind of breadcrumbed and then ignored again, he's looking for greener grass as it's easier than taking responsibility for his actions. He's obviously very confused about it as he likely knows deep down he's done the wrong thing
I'm so sorry to hear but let's say 5-6 months time you'll be back together.... Use this time to concentrate on your personal development be a better version of yourself... You'll be fine
@@coreybart2783 we’ve been on and off the past 8 months since my comment. it’s been a week after ending it for good I was just too much for him in the end and was begging for the bare minimum. So he left again but I’m getting through it
To be clear - I do NOT advocate reaching out. This video covers my thoughts entirely on the subject - please listen carefully! Our BRAND NEW Channel is live! Content will be posted throughout the year for Fitness, Health, Wellness, Yoga, and much more: ua-cam.com/users/TLCWellness
While she's dating I couldn't. 3 years later I still think of her every day. I'm doing ok and have some beautiful women I could date but I'm not interested at this moment. But no, I wouldn't do it as much as I'd like to meet her again. She's really moved on.
I feel "dumper should be the one reaching out" isn't always correct. Imagine a situation where it was the dumpee who held the weight for the reasons of the breakup (e.g., they kept repeating the same mistakes) -- in that situation, it would seem more logical for the dumpee to reach out. I'm not saying the dumpee *should* reach out in this case however, and most times, they probably shouldn't because they haven't actually changed. And there may likely be a power imbalance after reconciling which will lead to unhappiness and failure. I think it's just a bad idea to reach out in general. Most people THINK they've changed, but they don't actually changed, and then the same issues arise when reconciling. Another thing in this video that strikes me is the assertion that you'll be back to day 1 if you worked hard on yourself and reach out and get rejected. If you genuinely worked hard on yourself, I don't think a rejection from your ex will knock you back to day 1. It might set you back a bit, but I doubt it erases all the work you've put in -- if it does, then you probably didn't really change substantially to begin with, and you're just holding on to false hope this whole time and that's made you feel like you changed.
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It's simple: As long as you watch these type of videos, you're not ready to reach out ;)
Did it work for you
@@coreybart2783 What exactly
@@umpalumpa-qw8ru no contact
@@coreybart2783 It depends what you mean with 'did it work' ;). Did it work to get over her (or at least almost)? Yeah, definitly. Did it work to get her back? No
@@blankearth5840 not true in my case, as it was my fault we broke up (no cheating)
If people can walk away from you let them walk. Never try to talk someone into being with you. It doesn't matter what they did for you, how wonderful they are, or how attracted you are to them. Your destiny is never tied to the person that left. If they left you it's no accident. If you tried to make it work it's no accident. Just clap your hands, hold your head up high, do your dance and keep moving forwards.
Never perceive your value on how someone treats you. What they do or don't do doesn't determine your worth. If you rely on people for validation you'll be disappointed. Happiness comes from within. Be selfish. Believe in you. You are amazing.
Bishop T.D. Jakes 💯💯💯
This is perfect advice. For me, i got dumped 7 months ago and went to work.
Gym....lost 50Lbs, took dance lessons.....and the girls at the studio like my new body.
When i look in the mirror, i see a happy, more confident badass looking back at me.
And i ask myself, "what would i rather have, the new me or a girl that didnt want me?
The answer is obvious to me today, while it wasnt 7 months ago.
Rory, terrific video. Thanks, King.
It's not worth the emotional setback! Don't do it! You see, the anxiety you felt was only meant to be temporary post break-up. Let them sit with the reality that they no longer have you in their life and that the grass really wasn't greener on the other side. If they truly wanted to reconnect, they'd reach out to you.
Rory, I have been watching your videos for 2 years. I was in a very bad place back then. After making some terrible mistakes at the start of my break up (begging, crying, and getting blocked), I followed your advice to the T. No contact for months. I followed all of your steps. I did the work. It took a very long time, but my ex came back, and eventually he asked to get back together. I had grown so much more than he had. It didn't last, but now we're real friends and I'm happier this way, and I feel more in control of that happiness. I never thought I would be here. Thank you so much for all of your help.
You are very welcome, Ivy!!
What a great testimony. Well done! X
How long did it take for him to come back? It’s been 2 years with my ex
@@Natalie_Anna95 after he blocked me he called 2 months later. Then it was sporadic conversations for another year before he came back. Long time
@@ivyvaughn7432
Good for you, Ivy. I hope all viewers read your story.
I don’t recommend to reach out as Rory Said , they didn’t even make the minimum effort to check on you by only 4 words “ hi how are you ? “ why would you gift them your contact if they just left you ? don’t get me wrong Its not a challenge or an ego , mind games call it how you like ... its just the logic , they chose to leave. I wish really to get each others at least in contact again , and I pass through some weakness times during my 4 months now ! but the idea I mentioned up is keeping me away from doing it 🤷🏻♂️
This!!
I agree. Even if we planned to text them later in the evening or the next day in the morning, we don't have the energy or feel like to text anymore as the time goes. It makes us realise our worth and start to think as a mature being. Of course we still love and miss them. We've showed enough. But they left us.
"the best way to get someone attention is to remove yours" my ex calls me every 4-5 days begging me to call her as much as I need her so badly I'm letting her chase me she's the one who left after all.... Rory you're always on time with these advice...
Good for you bro, honestly. Stay strong, focus on you and know your worth. If you two hook back up, have a convo with her. Make sure to say the key line "how will it be different this time?" Her answer will tell you all you need to know.
@@ryanmac8829well I'm the one made a mistake and she keeps bringing it up bout how she's blameless 😑and never did nothing wrong but good point tho I'll surely follow your advice bro...
Did u try to get her back before?
@@Calida2308 yea I tried tried and tried but she was annoyed by it till she blocked me on social media I never cared anymore start NC on day 18 she called me and asking me why I don't call her to check up....in my head I'm like wtf you want with me, you didn't care enough to be with me...
@@kemardavis4459 how long did u try n try ? She just need attention.. Stupid attitude..! Thts no love.
My crush had to stop contact with me end of August as he is a commander.. N me a soldier 2..n couldn't handle his duties n his emotions torwards me.. He has a crush on me as well..
I tried n tried.. But he said tht pushes him further away, annoys him n he have to protect himself..
I contacted every month since September.. But he still avoids me at job.. No fight nothing. . So. I think he isn't emotionally free.. Else there would be no problem to meet Profesional right?
From February on I do nothing
why reach out to someone who’s okay with not talking to you? focus on yourself. if they wanted to they would’ve.
What if they exactly think the same?
@@eamp27 If they are the dumpers, the ball is in their court
Agree with you Rory never reaching out I've made that mistake when I was younger with a couple of ex's and it never turned out right and sent me into a depression afterwards. I had looked back and hated that I reached out. It really felt worse than being broken up with.
My question is WHY would you WANT to contact your ex? Keep your sanity. Don't do it. At least in my case, I want nothing to do with the narcissistic (expletive here) that did me wrong.
Agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed
tbh plenty of people on TLC claim that their ex is narcissistic monster until you start talking to them and then realize why people run from them. Its very rare for people to accept their part of responsibility.
@@gondor532 Also agreeeeeeeeeed
@@gondor532 Interesting. It does take two but when you're being abused and manipulated to try and make the person stay (trying to get me to stay), I am pretty sure that is narcissistic behavior. I moved to another city to get away from this person. Hopefully, he doesn't know where I live and doesn't care anymore.
@@rubyray777 I dont know about your exact case, but most of the people I talked to made some serious mistakes themselves before they exes left. I know I did, but the thing is when you listen to them they don't even seem to realize what they did to contribute the breakup. Ofcourse Im not saying that there are no people who were with narcissists and sociopaths, but its far more rare than presented.
I agree with you---if they did the breaking up they should reach out.
It just comes across as weak, condescending, and implies all your
happiness depends on them if you reach out. Be strong and whether
you know it or not you will have their respect but most important of
all you will respect yourself.
Exactly! This video is not meant to encourage reaching out - but to DISCOURAGE it. Still - not matter how much I say not to some people are going to anyway. I want to minimize the risks for those people as well as the others who don't reach out.
I love my ex, and probably always will, BUT I don’t think I could take him back anytime soon. He was very damaged when our relationship began, but I stuck around because I don’t like giving up. I communicated my concerns with him, but he would dismiss them, or act oblivious. Ultimately He broke up with me. Don’t make the same mistake I made. If someone isn’t giving you the love, and affection you deserve, LEAVE. The emotional turmoil is not worth it. Do NOT reach out. Respect your ex, and most importantly yourself.
Your story is the same as mine. Sad but true.
I'll say what my mom said about contacting my ex and/or their friends asking about them...don't stick your hand into acid and be surprised when you get burned. Just don't do it.
My man Rory always uploading right when I need it
Listen closely! I am not advocating reaching out!
Agree Rory! Never ever reach out your ex if he/she ended the relationship. If we reach out again, it will hurt deeply. Also, agree with Rory never expect anything from ex. Love you Rory
Why would you want to reach out to someone who hurt you? More often than not, by reaching out you’re inviting that person to further hurt you.
Instead, use this time to focus on yourself (health, career, school, goals, hobbies, etc). By doing so, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re healing, and there’s a possibility you may even forget about your ex (has happened to me on several occasions).
I know it’s easier said than done, especially when the breakup is fresh, but give it time. And by “give it time” I don’t mean sit around doing nothing, but rather being active- be it with a work/school project, workout sessions, socialising, traveling etc. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes your pain. You’re gonna be okay.
Forget your ex. Get yourself into the gym or, better yet, start training in Jiu Jitsu. You won't have time or energy to think about someone who doesn't want you in their life hehe. It gets better guys. Rory, good to see TLC is growing, keep up the great work. I'm pleased to say I haven't watched your videos in a HOT minute. "Get busy living or get busy dying!" Take care everyone, life gets better.
Im doing bjj and hitting the gym.hard .Lost 40 pounds since Oct. 2020 .I can sense myself getting stronger and better .My ex is dating someone else but I'm starting to be indifferent as evry day passes
@@shashankprasad92 I love BJJ man! Just got my first stripe as a white belt and hitting the gym just as hard. Glad to see you are pushing forward
@@charliemvrphy cheers mate ,best of luck in your future endeavours
We need to face de truth, when it's over let it go as you said Rory.
Idk about the whole “u won’t want to after 7 months”. Sometimes we want to for years.
nah
First video of yours I’ve watched that I CAN’T relate to! And it’s awesome! I definitely wanted to reach out maybe a month ago, now not so much. Just stay no contact people, it will help clear your mind! Thanks Rory!
Still clicked this knowing I will never reach out lol. My ex that I’m with for 9 years and my best friend are together now. And We’ve only broken up for 3months..
Been working on myself since then and I’m doing better. As long as I keep them out of my life. I’d be alright.
What a shitty people!! It may not seem now, but good riddance!!!
It will not workout witn them ,, god be with you bro
oh man. that's brutal. I had a period of my life where all the women I wod date would hook up with all my friends. even so much as... one ex married my brother (and just divorced him a year and a half ago.) I feel this pain.
That's shitty on her part and karma will get to them even as you keep getting better.
@@isaacs6159 it sucks bro.. it’s like we can’t trust anyone anymore.
I'll never reach her out forever..
If you’re thinking about reaching out... don’t, please don’t do it. I ruined my chances with my ex because I thought I could change her mind (after 2 months). And to make things worse, your ex will become more cruel after each time you reach out... YOU WILL RUIN YOUR CHANCES! and it will hurt you even more... listen to me, don’t make the same mistake I did, please don’t do it.
If they don't reach out then you had no chance anyway so nothing to lose by reaching out by a good amount of time
@@coreybart2783 i mean you could do that, but not before at least 4-5 months. Any time earlier than that, and they might reject you immediately, since you didn’t give them the break up. They’ll feel like they’re in control, and WILL 100% treat you like absolute trash (knowing that you will probably do nothing about it, since you’re still thinking about them). From my experience, talking to an ex trying to convince them to come back, is a terrible idea.
@@nawaffahad2692 I'm only a month of NC so I'll see how I feel in later months
@@coreybart2783 let me just tell u this one thing. Please, don’t stalk her on social media, don’t ask about her, keep your distance, keep yourself busy, go out with other girls (she 100% did this one), HIT THE DAMN GYM!! And every time you feel like you need to contact her remember this: SHE left you, SHE ended it, SHE decided that it’s not gonna work out, and if she wanted you to be with her, SHE must be the one to contact you.
Even if you want her back, nc is the proper approach. Good luck my friend 🙏
Let’s go Rory . Always thankful for our call . Still need to do that kickboxing class someday!
Day 50 of NC here. Around day 30 I was still emotional, not as bad as the first week, but still felt some pain. Sometime between day 30 and 40 my emotional state switched along with my attitude.
I have been following everything Rory says, plus some extra, along with the counseling, I’ve done some research on how to best use a counselor, or the questions that needed to be asked.
I began running every-night, and when I got back and showered, it made falling asleep much easier.
I write out a my daily routine the night before and stick to it to the best of my ability.
I have a morning ritual right when I wake up:
-fold my bed, stretch
-50 to 100 push-ups
-meditate( Iuse the calm app or the per recommendation of the UA-cam page, mindsmash, whose content I highly recommend).
-Pour a cup of coffee and take a walk around my block while listing to positive affirmations.
Do i still feel sad or anxious, yes, but i see that light at the end of the tunnel. Keep hustling everyone!
could you please do a video on how to deal with the fear that your ex will find someone new or has already found someone? It‘s been a really hard time for me because even though I’m feeling pretty good about myself and working on myself, I often think about that he might have just moved on from me...
Sure! I'll cover this.
Why would you want to contact someone who has no problem with losing you?
seconding this
saw sign ex probably has new bf
Third-ing this. I found out my ex is officially in a relationship with someone new lol.
Brazilian here. But I speak and understand English. I love this channel. Thanks.
Please don’t reach out. I did! Polite, very short response. Then reached out again. Same. Obsessive thoughts returned until a longer, deeper message... No response. It sets you back months.
Some while ago I reached out to an ex that dumped me but I really didn't care about the outcome. Actually, I reached out 'cause one of her relatives was sick and it felt natural to offer support, like I would to every other person that somehow mattered in my life. Long story short, we ended up in a 7 year long happy and strong relationship (ended in the end but due to completely differenty reasons). I know that's a very specific scenario though, not really ideal if you are still holding a torch.
Thank you sir! Thank you for puttin this knowledge out there for everyone to be able to listen and make an EDUCATED decision! I wish you the best!!!
After 8-9 Months of no contact. I started feeling alright, I started a new business, Making more money, Kept in good shape, dated beautiful women but the thought of my ex would come by every day.
I thought I would be okay with rejection.
I decided to wish her a happy new year and asked to meet. She said it's not a good idea.
Now I'm feeling back at day 1.
Don't reach out.
Exactly
OMG Rory! I was just thinking about this for the last 4 days!! Perfect timing indeed! Thank you for all your advice, I really appreciate it. It helps me to endure no contact and focus on my self!
I want to reach out but i know it's a waste of time, thats whats difficult... nearly 4 months of NC
Day 42 of no contact and going strong
It got easier for me to stop counting the days. When I did after a while I got to the point where I would over think and say to myself I can't believe she hasn't reached out in ect ect many days.
Im on 7 months. And dont even care lol. It gets easier bro
It’s should be they job! Please don’t contact don’t out the ball on they court
Thank you Rory ❤️
dont mind me just listening to my daily lovechat podcasts because i'm heartbroken and wanna be a better version of me because otherwise i wont stop suffering 😩
Yeah Rory, holy shit
You've bring my power back after re-watching this video again for 2nd time, the moment i want to settle unfinished business with my ex I've placed the mindset of nothing to lose, at first after knowing my ex doesn't care and being so cold it was so hard, but right the moment when you reminds your purpose and you feel nothing to lose and you gonna continue your life anyway it bring the power back to me to keep fighting for my live. Im sorry if i comment twice but man, you've save my ass again and again.
I'm looking forward for your next channel, and i hope it will grow even bigger or same as tlc it's self
Thank you hero.
In short; no. Do NOT reach out. Reply on your own terms if they reach out to you, without being harsh or mean of course. Know now your worth. Don't beat the point into the ground, obviously. But live your life, forge yourself into the best version of yourself you can be, but do it for YOU.
Im feeling the new logo hand holding the heart.
Actually this is one of our oldest logos!
@@TheLoveChat really??? Oh man sorry it’s my first time noticing it. I’ve been following you since my break up last year. I guess since I’m doing better I’m able to notice things now
Don't do it guys. Not worth it!
Hi Karen! I hope you are well!!
You are very realistic in your delivery....I love it
Only video don't agree with.... I hadn't talk to my ex gf for year and half.... And I thought what the hey let's see what she up to expecting nothing..... Low and behold her interest level was resparked.... but I didn't want her nomore..... So reaching out after long long time won't harm you
I have moved on but I love your videos. I shall stick around.
It's been a year since my ex of 4 years broke up with me. She called several times, even when she was seeing someone new. We even got to hook up like 3 months after the breakup. It's so hard, watching that person that was your whole life just drift away. It sucks, and there's nothing you can do about it. Once it's over, it's over.
Thanks Rory, I needed to hear this. Definitely not reaching out now!
My ex literally unblocked me on ig yesterday... so many questions going on in my head. Honestly kinda wish he kept me blocked because now i’m tempted to reach out or expecting him to reach out 😩 i’m staying strong though. Thanks Rory
No. Uninstall the app. Let him go, he is tempting you to contact him. Let him comeback to you, he broke up he made the choice to walk away for whatever reason, work on you, pick up the dignity self love, and let go. Don't contact him
Same thing happened to me. I don’t know when because I don’t install social media. But it’s exactly like Maria said. The bottom line that I am using is: nothing else matters but direct contact. I don’t care if she unblocks me, tries to follow me, likes stuff (hasn’t happened), the bare minimum that we must only accept is direct and intentional contact. That’s it. Don’t take anything else as a sign or it will drive you crazy. Keep working on yourself Amanda.
@@thewaxandgreaseremover6182 i know i keep telling myself it only matters if he directly reaches out to me. Thanks for the advice, good luck to you ✨
@@mariahabibti4702 thanks im trying to forget he even unblocked me!
@@Amanda-dm7oj I will tell you briefly what happened to me, on 1/1/21 my LD boyfriend broke up I had to swallow my tears in a 12 hours flight back to America, I accepted it the break up, I got sick and depressed was sad, anyway on Thursday I let him go, I put him on God's hands, and Yesterday he texted me. watch this videos and get busy, go for a walk, pray meditate, volunteer.. anything but contact him
I was the one who walked away. Surprisingly enough for me, I feel good. I know that after so many times of going back to him he's not going to change so even if I feel like reaching out my bad memories of him stop me in my tracks. 🍒
It's been 16-18 months by this point? I'm not sure. I miss her and I'd like to get back together, but i'm no longer hurt or anything. I feel I just need to meet someone new, to fully get over her or maybe I'm fooling myself, not sure. I'm on my grind, moneywise, knowledgewise, but there's something that is still missing here
Not worth, I convinced myself it was no big deal but when she blocked me with no response it still wasn’t fun regardless of what what I’ve done
Rory thanks ! This makes me guilt free about my last incidents, i think you may include link of Rejection video on this
Hi Rory, a local coach here is telling us to do radio silence. I would have to deactivate my social media (not block but my ex wont see my profile) for about a month and work on myself. After that time. I would post my success but not much like 1 post a week. That coach said it would make them curious enough to reach out.
pls make a video on when your ex cheated on u ended the relationship and now with the person who cheated on you with . pls make a video i feel terrible
So, I told my ex wife that I wasn’t interested in being just friends. She is the one that said that’s all she had to offer, so I guess we won’t be friends and bye. I assume that it’s her responsibility to get in touch with me correct?
The nanosecond after you push the “send” button
………………you will be buried under a landslide of regret.
One Month of no contact and this time it will be forever even if i die missing her i don't wanna beg anymore no matter how bad bf i was she thought i did enough to save the Relationship now if she want not to see me ever again i Will give her that
Wow it’s been a while since I’ve been here, keep it up Rory! Thank you for all the help
I reached out via email yesterday to say hello how are you after 18 months of no contact because if I hear no or never hear back after that,I have closure.
Did you get a respons?
@@radar4536 nope and I'm over her, better , different women out there
I broke my NC after 2 months because I know I have made mistakes because I added to her stress. Yes I know it's risky, but she did not respond. I expected is a know, but I'm not blocked yet. Back in NC again
The no expectation is helping me a lot. I have no idea how he’s doing but I like to convince myself to believe that he has a new gf. It’s a big turn off for me, makes me never want to hear from him. Idk, its easier for me this way. 🤣
Brilliant video. Thank you. ❤️
you post these at the perfect times. thank you rory
This is so depressing ! I can’t get her off my mind like it’s been couple of months but those times I was still around even we broke up...she been relationship since I’ve been broken up I don’t know what’s going on with her anything like that no mutual friends no social media friends nothing....it’s complete mystery
Rory, you are so so awesome! I love all your videos. Also... your voice is just amazingggg!!
Thank you so much 😀
This video came on the right timing, I dated this girl for 4 mths and it was great then she break up with me, I made the mistakes when she broke up and I went into no contact, it's been 2 mths now of NC, I am planning to reach out this weekend and have no expectations as I believe there is no harm in reaching out as I have nothing to lose. Let's see if she will reply to my text.
Word of strong advice! It’s far to fresh... you’re kidding yourself. Keep your center and your power. Do not reach out!
@@stormfalcon72 2 mths is still fresh but we dated for 4 mths its half of the duration of dating with her?
i am not keeping my hopes high, just trying to see and observe what will she do.
How did it turn out? Did you contact her?
Completley agree, my ex broke up with me three times now and everytime she reached back out. Although now im at day 25 NC this time round (it didnt take this long last time) I think it may be over this time. But ill never reach out when she broke it off yet again.
Three times.. Jesus... You deserve better. I hope you can see that yourself.
@@hgzmatt Its hard not to look back and see the mistakes that i did in the relationship. Although you are right, still in NC i think now day 37
@@kanenufc873 You agree to work on it while in the relationship.. and you don't leave unless you mean it. You certainly don't go back and forth 3 times. Find someone who will stick it out with you and doesn't run.
I'm so excited for your new channel!!
I was with her for 8 years so should wait 4 years ?? Hell no
Lol😂
It's been 1year and I still wanna reach out. Its not like I am not doing personal growth. I have got a good job. I have many friends. I workout. And my life is pretty much good and I am happy with it. But still i miss her and wanna reach out.
update?
How does one reach out if kids are involved? What to say to them in that case?
Thank you Rory :) I can’t wait for your next video
Advice please guy's . I broke up with my DA ex of 17 months it's complicated mainly around he's inability to hold space for me especially after my parents died of Covid last year.
We did an exchange of stuff at my door & he said he doesn't love me 3 wks later he called saying he does love me & wants to get back together I'm in a state of oscillating between no way & um. Rory i am looking after myself in all the best ways but now a little confused.
Thank you!!!😍❤🤩
What if they reach out every few days. I was very polite for 6-7 times when they reached out but I was closed because I was healing. Then around 10 days back they reached out (as usual) indirectly, and I opened up and asked for a phone call, they said sure but never followed through. Yesterday they reached out again, indirectly, a question to which an answer would be available easily on the internet. I politely responded but they reached out again few hours later. What's going on?
Don't reach out.. Or wait for months.. I contact once a month since September n tht push away..
If I hurted my ex, can I reach out to apologize?
I ended up doing that 5 months after and we ended up going out! It just depends on a lot of variables
Please exolainnnn
@@alicenlucy like Rory says, the main thing is that you cannot be attached to a certain outcome. For me , I was at a stage where I didn't really care whether she said yes or no to a meet up. Nevertheless, it really depends on the length of the relationship and how close you guys were. My ex and I have had strong chemistry and connection that exists til this very day even tho we have been apart for a year and are dating other peope
@@petaakolarov135 would you mind telling me a little? I dated my ex for a yr and it's such a difficult situation right now whyd she leave you?
@@alicenlucy it's a long story. We were together for 4 years total and towards the end of our relationship , our communication fell apart and she had (still has) unresolved internal issues. Just focus on yourself and it will get better with time. You might not even want your ex after awhile. I still miss my ex and love her, but I don't want to get back with her anymore
My ex has been reaching out to me, he really wanted to communicate but everytime he couldn't stop mentioning how things was not good for him, had a long phone with call with him it was ok, I kept my spirit up and he said he's still struggling in his head. Now he asked for a meet up, says that phone call asked for more conversation. I said I'll think about it but I don't know how to continue the path, the relationship was very decent and good but I didn't fix my problems and made him hurt for a long time until he cheated. Any advice?
I would ask yourself if you're both ready. Cheating is a big deal. A counselor should be involved here!
Please do more videos about "when you have kids together" ... we need help !
I feel like you made this we had a call last week rory haha bless
Hey rory so basically my situation is I was in no contact for a about two months and then my ex reached out and it was just breadcrumbs so I left it alone then she reached out again to ask how I was doing we briefly talked and I carried on then she started reaching out everyday trying to call and talk all the time and me I made minimal time for that I didn’t make it a priority to text her I’m just confused at this point is it ok for me to reach out to her after she has tried to talk to me everyday I’m not sure but just curious and looking for a answer thanks !
Pay the man. Hes not gonna answer everyone's questions here
HOLY SHIT i was literally just searching about 10 hours ago "When can I reach out to my ex the love chat" and didnt really find anything, AND THEN U UPLOAD THIS.
RORY U GOAT thanks i needed this coach 😌
PS i am around 24 days into no contact atm. Not gonna break and just gonna keep working on myself
Good on you! I don't recommend reaching out - this video is for people who are going to do it despite my advice.
@@TheLoveChat I already expected that was the advice you were gonna give, I was simply just curious about your specific take on it hence i searched for it prior, haha
(Btw suggestion to include the video title in the display screen / thumbnail aswell like before. It's easier to keep track of the videos when i sometimes download them offline. Either way keep up the good work Rory :)
I broke up with him tried to fix things coz i know it was my fault..a week later his in another relationship..it does get better but it hits you hard some days 😪
I'm not sure what to tell you but no one gets into another relationship within a week.This is the biggest red flag I can think of. I know it sucks but if you have already attempted to make up for it and there is no effort on his part you will have to let it go. Don't attempt to fix something on your own for which you need two people.
I hope you are ok and here's a hug from me. :)
First! Keep it up Rory!
This has nothing to do with the video but I gotta say your profile handle of Clorox Bleach? Love it!🤣🤣
I listen the this all the time, but it seems to concern more "dating" issues than marriage and divorce. Does this advice really relate to marriage/divorce? I was dumped by wife and it still hurts like hell everyday and regardless of everything I still want her back. But I just don'tsee how that could ever happen after the way she treated me.
Attraction is attraction. Marriage is an invention!
This probably sounds bizzare but i actually think he's just embarrassed about his behaviour and he's now trying to save face and hoping he will just be able to forget about me while suffering in silence. I know that sounds ridiculously ego centric but I honestly think that's the case. It never really got off the ground, it totally feels like unfinished business. There was so much potential but he messed it up by refusing to apologise for something stupid. I wouldn't be surprised if he considered reaching out daily but his pride is stopping him because he would then have to (God forbid) admit he was wrong. Maybe it will take him trying to replace me for a while until he realises that if you find someone special you should probably apologise to them if you're wrong. Until then he'll live in denial because it's easier. It's a real shame but I'm starting to notice that people nowadays are VERY concerned with looking like the 'winner' more so than actually being in a loving relationship.
update?
@eminegunduz7797 Told me he was seeing someone else, then i got kind of breadcrumbed and then ignored again, he's looking for greener grass as it's easier than taking responsibility for his actions. He's obviously very confused about it as he likely knows deep down he's done the wrong thing
She is in rebound but she answers me if i message her.
i have dated almost 10yrs what to do now?
5 days post break up staying strong 😭
I'm so sorry to hear but let's say 5-6 months time you'll be back together.... Use this time to concentrate on your personal development be a better version of yourself... You'll be fine
Any update
@@coreybart2783 we’ve been on and off the past 8 months since my comment. it’s been a week after ending it for good I was just too much for him in the end and was begging for the bare minimum. So he left again but I’m getting through it
Doesn't sound like Rory 🤔 but it does 🤯
Listen closely!
Thank you for this very timely message, Rory~~
Hi I have a question what are your thoughts on shy and anxious ex’s??
To be clear - I do NOT advocate reaching out. This video covers my thoughts entirely on the subject - please listen carefully!
Our BRAND NEW Channel is live! Content will be posted throughout the year for Fitness, Health, Wellness, Yoga, and much more: ua-cam.com/users/TLCWellness
I subscribed
😍😍😍
While she's dating I couldn't.
3 years later I still think of her every day. I'm doing ok and have some beautiful women I could date but I'm not interested at this moment.
But no, I wouldn't do it as much as I'd like to meet her again. She's really moved on.
How long were y’all dating?
@@hiitssree829 17 mths
you still think about her 3 years later?
why would anyone go and get rejected for the 2nd time?? if they wanted you they'd have reached out
Don’t do it! Lol
I feel "dumper should be the one reaching out" isn't always correct. Imagine a situation where it was the dumpee who held the weight for the reasons of the breakup (e.g., they kept repeating the same mistakes) -- in that situation, it would seem more logical for the dumpee to reach out. I'm not saying the dumpee *should* reach out in this case however, and most times, they probably shouldn't because they haven't actually changed. And there may likely be a power imbalance after reconciling which will lead to unhappiness and failure.
I think it's just a bad idea to reach out in general. Most people THINK they've changed, but they don't actually changed, and then the same issues arise when reconciling.
Another thing in this video that strikes me is the assertion that you'll be back to day 1 if you worked hard on yourself and reach out and get rejected. If you genuinely worked hard on yourself, I don't think a rejection from your ex will knock you back to day 1. It might set you back a bit, but I doubt it erases all the work you've put in -- if it does, then you probably didn't really change substantially to begin with, and you're just holding on to false hope this whole time and that's made you feel like you changed.
I dont think I should wait half the time of the relationship if I'm going to reach out... that's 3.5 years !
There is a man who can help you bring your ex back
@@maryade6944 lmao
I'm leaving this comment there because it amuses me.
@@TheLoveChat hilarious...but seriously, that man is me!
Thanks a lot 🥰