I am officially done today. A year of my life wasted of her going back and forth between me and some other dude. I know it will be tough but I know someday I will get over it. Wish me luck guys !
Being in a relationship with a passive aggressive person is like having the life sucked out of you every day. It's just constant BS, complaining, drama, never ending whining. It's incredibly hard to break away from them, they have an amazing ability to flip the switch when you're done!
And my favourite. Its NEVER their fault.....its never her fault. Its 3 days b4 Christmas and she wants to throw fits again....pfft. I told her if she's gonna get upset and pissed off everytime I say something she doesnt want....she can go home and cool off.
I literally just got out of a toxic relationship yesterday... Everything was very loving at first but I quickly began to notice that her insecurities were being projected onto me. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me or maybe I was weak but then I remembered that I was NOT this person when I got into this relationship. I was a positive, outgoing and honest guy! Fast forward to yesterday and she really showed her true colors. I had broken up with her 2 months ago after voicing numerous times that I was not happy with her not communicating and keeping things to herself when I knew something was wrong. I gave her space and allowed her to talk but she would just try and ignore it hoping it'd go away. Yesterday, we tried reconciling everything and I kid you not, she would literally twist everything I said and make herself the victim. It was unbelievable! Needless to say, I am done!! I will never stand for being treated and underappreciated again. She'll probably crawl back but I won't have it. I'm moving on to better things. Wish me luck guys!
Like James said, this person sound like a narcissist. I’ve been involved with one myself and had HELL getting away from her. Life is much better once you do.
5150pop I’m on bi polar meds now and any time we get into a argument she blames it me being bi polar. Most of the it’s her that starts the argument. Like last night and today for instance . Last night she was making a gift for a friends daughter one was a board with “happy birthday “ on it. Well I was on the edge of the bed watching a movie with my daughter and I didn’t know she was behind me with glue going over it . Well I moved and it messed her up and she got pissed and went to the kitchen . I said I was sorry and I didn’t know she was doing that.. well the rest of the night she was in a bad mood and the next day she tells me she was mad because I didn’t help her and I said I didn’t know and why didn’t she ask I would have helped . The rest of the day she was in a bad mood and annoyed over anything . I asked her what was wrong and she told me she was in a bad mood but she started being rude to my kids over small things like dropping the pillows off her Spare bed and dog hair getting on it.. she made some comments that upset me because she wants to try for a baby( she don’t have kids but I do) but gets upset over small things they do when it wasn’t even their fault. Her room is a mess always (shes 43) and dogs get everything dirty and shed and she does nothing about it but got mad over my kids dropping pillows while they are asleep. I didn’t wanna argue and wanted to give her space so I left and she got mad and hasn’t talked to me since. I sent a long message explaining why I left and how she made me feel. I wrote it as nicely and respectful as I could so she don’t take it the wrong way . It’s small things like that that she gets mad over all the time and anytime I try to talk and say I’m concerned about something she turns it around and makes me the bad person
Bearded bacon Double bacon you shouldn’t be with her, you shouldn’t have had kids with her, you knew how she was so why did you choose to have a child with this toxic woman?
i also lost a good woman too and the mother of our child due to how i was to my ex towards her over the years,i never hit her or cheated on her,but i was emotionally void to her emotions and would become angry and say the most horrible things to her over the 5yrs together.when she left i understood how she felt really felt about me and i took her for granted thinking we would get back together as we always did...but this time it really has ended.i am broken but it is a lesson well learned..i miss her very much and i will always love her but i am working on myself to better myself inside and out
I'm a girl, but this video was spelled out exactly what I went through. I knew the relationship was toxic but I just didn't want to accept it would never get better. Now I'm out of it and free, and just want to say to anyone else going through the same thing: You CAN survive without the person. I promise you, when you move on from them you will feel so liberated and happy. Thanks Corey!
You're absolutely correct. Leaving someone who is toxic is still a little scary, but that's because we all fear the unknown. However, the unknown is usually much better and you wonder why you didn't end it sooner.
This was so my ex fiance. She had depression, anxiety, OCD, only 8 months together I was living in a personal hell. I loved her a lot and tried to help her but to no avail.
Corey is so right. It's so hard to move on, and a part of me still loves the person she once was. I still remember her face and it's not easy. I ignored so many red flags, and I still kept trying. I wonder if people like that will ever find happiness.
This video has really helped me start to climb out of a deep depression. Thank you for making sense of the back & forth relationship I’ve been involved in.
Lying is the most toxic behavior... "The more kindness you show to a liar the more he is apt to lie, for he thinks that you know not, while you do know, but extreme kindness keeps you from revealing your knowledge." ~ Bahá’í Faith
i dated a chick over a decade...DECADE..problems at work...problems at home...problems with mom..problems with dad...problems with friends..low self esteem it just became too damn much..one day she wanted to work things out and i literally had no more energy...i felt depleted..i was done..we have 2 kids i take my kids and keep it moving..my health is better..my new girl is normal and im so much better now mentally..10 years of fun times but mentally damn draining for someone in their 20s
This was my exact story two years ago. I was with someone like this and it eroded my self-esteem. The good news is, I can never ever go back to being ok with this type of treatment. it's like once you wake up, you can never go back to sleep and be the old you. That relationship put a fire under my ass like no other. I don't tolerate anything from anyone, yet I'm still loving and accepting. Feminine, yet my boundaries are firm. I hope this guy listens to you and never allows himself to be treated that poorly again. It's never worth it.
Coach, I just dodged a bullet this week. I was applying what you teach and I met a person just like the girl in this video. I tried setting boundaries, I tried waiting a few days to message, and these things pissed her off and caused her to start drama. I now have rejected the bad apple.
Holy shit this video is just what I needed. Just broke up with an emotionally abusive and toxic ex-girlfriend 2 weeks ago. Always created drama and exploded on me for the littlest things-only got worse and worse over time. And I like many kept holding on in the belief that it would eventually get better. It's too bad because I really loved and cared for the girl and we even had a puppy, whose shes since taken. My head knows what my heart doesn't want to believe-that this is for the better. Thank you.
Art Science Sounds like my ex dude. Started being abusive to her cat and shit, yelling loudly at him to be quiet and hitting him hard. The abuse then turned to me, fuck that shit I’m out lol.
I can relate completely. I was on my last nerve during the 4 year marriage to my ex wife who I did not know when I met her is a covert narcissist. We were having words about something and I was speaking my piece on the matter. As a narcissist, she of course did not want to hear what I had to say, nor did she value me as a person so she started her devaluing tactics. I then responded telling her I was done putting up with her behavior of needlessly and unprovoked insulting and abuse, cheating and treating me like a door mat. Now, here is the moment where a 20,000 lumen light bulb clicked on in my head-She then said "Well if ya don't like being treated like a door mat then take your shit and get the hell out so I can find a door mat." Yeah....
What really sucks balls are great women who can't communicate. And they don't have the skills to realize this. Because there's nothing to work with. When someone gives you the silent treatment and just magically thinks you should just.. "know" and when you try and tell them "No sorry.. I don't "KNOW"" And they can't forgive you for it. That really sucks. Ladies? Don't ever assume your guy knows what you're thinking.
+roquefortfiles That's passive aggressive behavior. She is doing it piss you off. Tell her your going on with your friends and watch how fast she breaks out her silent treatment.
+roquefortfiles its the other way around too...my boyfriend gives me silent treatment and its really easy to make him angry and wanting to give me a silent treatment. If I ask him what's wrong he always says "nothing, its fine". Its a fucking guessing game every time. Passive-agressiveness at its best.
***** If you're unhappy about shit? say so. Nobody thinks your thoughts or feels your feelings. The sooner everyone is on the same page the sooner the problem gets solved.
***** Everyone is different. Direct I can handle. Vague, confused conflicted? No. I'd rather have a girl scream at me about what's bothering her than spend a week in the silent room trying to decipher someone's feelings. Nobody is inside anyone's head.
It's been three weeks now. She likes to drink 5 or 6 beers every night. I told her I've had enough I won't have a girlfriend that drinks. We're both 60 years old and she's not going to change. Goodbye!
Passive aggressive is a very small part of the issue. The problem is much larger. These characters are likely under the DSM-5 cluster B personality disorders such as; antisocial,sociopath, narcissist, borderline personalities. These people consist of 1 out every 7 people. (Very toxic) also known as emotional vampires. They will suck you dry on all levels and leave you with Complex-PTSD (losing your sense of worth, value & identity). It's definitely a yo-yo ride creating drama bond (Stockholm syndrome like conditions). I barely made it out alive. The key is to get out & stay out. Further more, this experience has me equiped to avoid further toxicity by knowing how they operate & not ignoring the red flags. Use Coach Cory's 90 day rule and see if the mask comes off. These people love bomb & move very quickly in the beginning to suck you..... try not to get attached. Some keep their mask on for longer but the mask falls off from time to time. Watch for it. Thanks Corey! Date with caution...
that is true, I just came out of a relationship with someone that is a dismissive avoidant and a covert Narcissist. This is definitely not codependency but cluster B personality disorder
Yes thank you for this! I got entangled with a narcissistic sociopath who made me pregnant by lying about having vasectomy and then put me in mental hospital for asking him to be involved. I grew up with BPD mother who was highly narcissistic so I think he preyed on me.
Just got out of a relationship with a covert narc, unbelievable trauma & mental abuse. Feels great to finally break through those chains, unfortunately I have a daughter with her. Keep your heads held up high gentlemen!
Holy shit, Subscribing now. You just described my marriage in the entire freaking video. I swear sometimes I thought it was just me. She does exactly every thing you were describing. I talked to an old girlfriend that I haven't talk to in a long time about her and told her every detail and how she is. She has a masters in psychology and works at a mental health clinic or something like that. But, She said it sounded like she had borderline personality disorder. I had to look that stuff up but yeah. It described her perfectly.
Tried dating a girl that openly admitted to being insecure and lacking self-confidence. It was long distance so it was destined to fail but it was draining constantly having to give compliments or giving compliments and having to explain why. It also sucked when my words weren’t ever enough so she had to turn to social media to seek approval. I thought I was crazy but when I decided I couldn’t do it anymore, she immediately posted half naked pics of herself on social media and that’s when I knew she was an attention seeker
Your last words hit home......" Sometimes you will have people in your life for two weeks, others for two years..." Imagine. I was married before. It only lasted a few years,,,,,,,I see things differently now.
Martine Cooper You are correct. I had a relationship with a narcissist for six months. She gave me hard feeling, screwed up the dating and made me to think she is the only woman in the universe.
I was married to a narcissist for over six years. They leave you and always pin the blame on you for their problems, and they don't appreciate the good you do for them. Just in my final stages for divorce.
Martine Cooper yes they are very fucked people I was with one for 10 years and she left me just like that for someone that had more of everything . She always said I was a lire she never ever once ever would compelment me or call me handsome me on the other hand would always treat her good always compelment her take her out ect . Ect. I was hurt when I cought her talking to some one else but she planned it that way for me to catch her because she new I would through her out out of anger, because she was a coward and couldn't just tell me and break up with me normally she just didn't want to do she rather have a fucked up break up so she can say I through her out and say I was the one who ended it . When actually she ended it . Stupid whore . Nothing is worse than a spinless insecure coward . Like Carlye jo Davenport . She is the worst of the worst.
Martine Cooper how do we get thru it bc I just broke up with a narcissist and he keeps lying saying the breakup was my fault from the breakup and now he is saying I was a stalker when I was just waiting for a friend. How do I get thru this when it’s fairly knew
I have never seen a video more compelling and dead on accurate than this one. I have watched many of your videos but this particular topic resonates to the core. I have lived this terrible relationship in the exact same scenario as the description here tells it. It nearly destroyed me. Thank you Corey for saving me. God bless
this is probably unpopular opinion but to me it doesn't matter whether they focus on male or female. narcissistic personality regardless of their gender manipulate lots of things almost the same way (the key main points anyways). I'm here to find a way to heal from abusive relationship, educate myself and move on.
vsonic86 the same way how NPD mostly abuse people with. They manipulate you, play mind games, rewrote your reality, and corroded your essence. Emotional abusive relationship.
I can't believe that quote. That is exactly what happened to me. She even said: "I was different at the beginning because I cared about the relationship". Like that's gonna help me in any kind or shape...I just fell in love with a fictional person, a person that she chose to be in order to win me and after a few months she revealed herself to me. Too late at that point...you can guess the rest.
This video is on the money! I fell back into a toxic relationship and the bullshit started again. Glad I watched this eye opening video. Time to start re-reading Corey's book, over and over again. Thanks Corey
People can just be incompatible, not toxic. Your ideas about the first 90 days is wise. Sure someone could be toxic but more often than not just incompatible. People can hide potential deal breakers when first dating. It goes both ways. A guy may love golfing and initially he goes but has cut back because of a new romance. Then months later he is golfing 2x a week, mainly on weekends. At 1st the woman may overlook it and think it is not "every" week. But it is and they want to do other things. Is the person toxic? No. They just have completely different interests and priorities, many of which will be unnoticeable in the beginning. The key to pickup early is this, initially in a relationship something can and will catch your eye about the person, raise an eyebrow. Spend time thinking about it closely because it will be something you will see again and probably more often as time goes by. I use the "fart" analogy. Everyone farts but you meet someone who after time thinks it's funny to fart on you, next to you, under covers, basically everywhere. You may not get the same kick out of hearing yourself fart as they do. At first it garnered a few giggles but now it's every fuckin night. Your sick of saying "thank you may I have another" Eventually you lose your cool. Well there are many things that may get under your skin and realize they may be there constantly. How many people knew shortly on the person had a potential addiction? They listen to the excuses and trick themselves that the person will change. That is a huge red flag and ignoring it and dealing with it early can save a ton of crazy. Addictions do not get better, they get way worse before they may get better. Look at the negative side always because that will be the one you deal with. Is that what you want and can handle? If not get out now.
I'm a woman and I'm in a toxic relationship and my boyfriend acts like a woman. I try and try to communicate with him but he never wants to say he does things wrong. If he calls me out on something then I'll admit to it and I'll try to do better. But now I'm starting to realize this is somebody I wouldn't want to raise my kids or someone I'd like to be with for the rest of my life. My boyfriend is very passive aggressive and very manipulative. But I've finally realized that I need a man not a woman and I need someone who's going to love me and treat me the way I need to be treated instead of worrying and crying everyday because of him.
I broke up with him about 2 months ago and I've never been happier! Of course he's trying to start problems with me by having his friends talk to me trying to get "Information" on me. Then started calling me all these disrespectful names. But I'm happier without him then I was with him. Yes it hurts because he was my first love but I'm getting over it one step at a time. I've never felt better.
Mr. Wayne I thank you for this video. I will now be reading your book 10 times consecutively. No more read a few times a month or once a year. I am committed to becoming a wholly new person, because the women I picked and dealt with were not what I deserved. I wasted time with women whom I knew within 2months it wasn’t going to going anywhere, just an extended subscription service for hooking up and listening to one’s problems. NO MORE. This comment is a reminder to myself in the future to not give up on finding the right woman. Do not tolerate someone you have a problem with in any aspect. CALL IT OUT. Better to be hated for standing your ground, than to bend to someone else’s lifestyle which is incompatible with your own. And if they aren’t willing to change for you and your plans, keep walking theirs another one coming up ahead. Be a man. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Be yourself, it’s alright.
Exactly, having dated a guy we were living in the same area, we became addicted to each other even though I didn't like some of his lifestyles and behaviours I was just there knowing I was unhappy advicing and hoping he will change. For one year I realised he isn't gonna ever change. I gradually adviced we take a break and rethink to sort out our issues but deep inside of me I am done with him; just didn't want us to start bickering at each other or start feeling we've broken up. I still reply to his text messages at my own time but never go to his again; got busy with my job and find things that interest me and occupy my life. I am certainly so so happy deep inside of me, I taught I couldn't do it; only realised I was feeling pity for him not to break his heart whereas I was in prison myself. I am so relieved. Thank you for your videos, new to your channel, you are amazing. I like you because you are blunt. Welldone.
Coach, this condition is called Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style. I just went through a 3 month relationship with a girl from New Mexico just like this. I didn’t even know there was a vocabulary for this type of condition! She was 95% amazing with a 5% monster that would come out periodically. Anyways, can you go over Attachment Theory?
I wake up everyday and can't believe I'm actually going through all of this and I don't know where I went wrong I didn't intend for any of this to happen.
Damn!! That's exactly what I just went through. I was like I have to get this toxic dude out of my life. He was just non-stop Drama! He had so much baggage and he just drained my energy! I had to let him go for my own sake. After giving him another chance, I just realized I had to let him go. It was really affecting me in a negative way. He was just not a good guy. He had so many problems and it was just total chaos. I just couldn't love him through all that shit. I had to choose myself! I Love Me! Fuck that Crazy Shit!
Coach I finally had to come to term with myself that the girl who I loved can never change. I ignored so many red flags since the beginning and a year later the universe finally woke me up to the reality of whats truly in her heart, a cheater and liar and manipulator but I watched your videos but I said to myself, no I'm different but I was only ignoring what was truly in front of me. Thank you for your help! From the bottom of my heart you truly helped me pick myself up from this toxic relationship.🙏 forever grateful.
So spot on Corey ! I'm in the mist of leaving my toxic person , I had to get to the point where I love myself more than a dysfunctional relationship.....
I've never been knocked on my ass like I did in this video. I need to buy your book this week. Holy hell did my eyes open. Thank you Coach. I have to watch this video over and over to drill this lesson in my head. 7 years is to long to commit to someone even with kids involved.
Same as my situation. Spot on. I manage to back off now and i will never contact her again. I think the best place for drama is in a drama course. Not in my life.
The first two minutes of this video really hits home.. keep going back and fourth on what I want and questioning myself. It is a lot of work and so tiring.. there is no communicating and no changing. The best advice is to accept that they are who they are.. decide what you want to do with that information and will it work for you in the long run? If the answer is no then the next move is go...If the answer is yes prepare to stress.
Holy shit!!!!! These videos deserve wayyyyy more views and LIKES!!! I was trying to figure out if my wife has me in one of these abusive relationships. Not so surprised to discover there's almost No videos for men being abused in relationships. I'm about to binge watch all the information in all these videos😁🤗😀🤗😁😁! Thank you Corey!!👍🏿
The reason why videos about men being in abusive relationship do not exist is because our screwed up society automatically perceives men as the perpetrators and women as victims. It's also partially our fault because we do not talk about these issues more frequently and hence shy away from forming support groups vs women who whine, bitch and moan to the entire world.
It is refreshing to hear somebody swear elegantly. When it comes to these emotions and this level of pain there is no way in hell that you can talk about it without swearing...
You realize your always only hearing one side of the story ... There are lots of toxic people who will turn things around to make it sound like the OTHER person is the toxic one
angela gouldsborough I totally agree this is one sided & u can clearly tell "coach Corey " has unresolved issues regarding women .. I wouldn't take advice from a man who preaches like a maniac & who clearly has resentment and a plethora of other issues ! Pls notice his constant GIRLFRIEND examples they ALL seem to be the problem - I get the feeling he walked out as he wasn't emotionally mature enough this dubbing these women insane & neurotic !!!!!!!! Men are scientifically proven to be emotionally immature they can't handle anything so before critiquing everything in every women or listening to this idiot have a think and get a second sane opinion !!!!
Thank you I was starting to think i am the toxic person. But I would argue with him because issues never really gut resolve. How can someone not argue when it’s the same issue all the time
Coach i cannot thank you enough dude. You made me a better man back then, you are still making me a better man each time i listen to your videos again.
i have always been who i am , my husband has always been who he is, we have both grown , changed , adapted, both in different directions and both in the same. we except each other for who we are, but we dont benefit from each other as people. i want to debate and discuss and he wants to play his games and relax, he wants to disassociate i want to engage , but its a selfish motive, i want to engage in topics and ideals and politically current matters to feed my brain, he cant be bothered. i accept that. i dont have anyone else to be free with so i keep it too my self now mostly or my daughter who is similar to me of her own accord. ppl can be different and still be united :)
I was that girl was once and trust me not by choice. you're right. With my family it was all drama and heartache since early childhood. i hate myself for all the pain that I've caused to the person who genuinely loved me but change is so damn hard. Trauma and pain was all that i knew my parents never had a healthy and loving relationship.
This 90 Day comment is so true.....you should never get emotionally involved with someone that quick....trust me, I fell for this and 9 yrs later, I am still wondering WHY I am still married to this loveless liar.....( part of it is that I am chronically ill....and have no other family)
From 50 seconds to 3:29 explains my predicament exactly. I fell in love with someone I probably shouldn't of been dating because I ignored things that really bother me in the relationship. After 2 years I couldn't take it any more, so I broke it off. She really wanted to work things out and claimed things "could change", and we have been casually dating since I broke it off the last 2 months. I can tell from just casually dating that those things won't/can't change because that is just the way she is. Now I am finding it INCREDIBLY difficult to detach from her. Logically I know she isn't right for me, but my heart wants it to work out so bad. LISTEN TO COREY. Notice the red flags and incompatibility issues before you make the same mistake. It's simply NOT worth it!
I'm actually in the beginning of this situation and I see the red flags. Something inside of me wants to make it work but, another side of me knows better.
@@marcellusrobinson1465 Try to think logically on this man and be careful. I know how hard it is. I ended up ending things with my ex again because the things I didn't like, weren't going to change. It took years to heal from it, but I finally found someone better fit for me, who I have been with for a year now. I still think about my ex sometimes, because I do miss her as a person and regret the pain I caused her. Save both her and yourself the pain if you know in your heart it isn't right. Good luck.
@@oahts5906 Sorry, I am just now seeing this. Hope you were able to make the right decision for you. I ended up ending things with my ex again because they weren't going to change. It took years to heal from it, but I finally found someone better fit for me, who I have been with for a year now. I still think about my ex sometimes, because I do miss her as a person and regret the pain I caused her.
@@HappyTrees wow no problem, thanks for coming back after 4 years! Glad to hear you’re doing well now. My ex and I are still somewhat close, though we’ve been spending more and more time apart. We’re both mature enough to recognize a toxic situation so we’re taking the steps we need in order to get our lives back on track. We have a lot of love for each other, we have the understanding that if things are meant to be they will be.
I've been married almost 3yrs. The passed year and half my husband has been argumentative, complains, always mad, everything's a big deal. I'm freaking miserable and i don't know what to do i swear. I told him from the beginning I'm not an argumentative person he said "neither am I" yeah right.
I completely agree with the 90 day rule. However, I have learned that unless there is SOME intimate connection, the relationship will die. I have been living with a guy for over a year and a half and he has never touched or kissed me. Needless to say, bitterness had set in. As well as mistrust and insecurity. There is no resolution and has now progressed to emotional abuse. Thank you for your videos. Any positive input is always good.
This hit me hard. He basically describes me top to bottom. I'm the passive agresive toxic person. I should leave him for he's own good and need start fixing myself. it hurts so much...
So true...loving him meant being dragged thru chaos. Detaching is harder than hell because he is charming and warm but it is necessary. His life is a mess.
I am also glad that you are talking about guys being in toxic relationships. People of both sexes deal with these issues.Thank you so much for doing this video!
I laughed, I cried (at myself) watching your video. I am a woman who dealt with the female counterpart your video spoke of. "Blowin' up my phone"...excellent perspicacity. "Off like a prom dress" is my mantra for dudes "that don't have their shit together". Love your frank narration and tone and facial expressions.
One thing is having a dating or attraction dynamic, but I really hate the types of people who play mind games all the time. Who would be in a healthy relationship with someone that says "I ghosted because I was afraid of falling in love" and at the same time point fingers when he/she perceives distancing from you. And yeah sometimes it's a matter of doing what you say, a turnoff can be "I think we can talk tomorrow at x hours" and never show up.
Relationship never works out if it's already toxic.Staying and working things out all over again is just a waste of time.It's better to end it up and start doing better things for yourself before anything else.
It’s always good to focus on the positive and joyous side of life❤️😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️that’s what I’ve always tried to do😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
The whole damn video is nothing but THE TRUTH. I just got out of a relationship with a damaged, disrespectful, and toxic woman. I swear me and the guy in the email dated the same woman. I've read the book 5x (will read it 10-15). Where were you last year coach...lol THANK YOU for your book and everything
I know this video is 7 years old but there are countless videos out there now describing the Cluster B disordered individuals and this is exactly what it sounds like. That's the erratic and dramatic category which includes your borderline, narcissistic, sociopaths and psychopaths. I was with a narcissist or borderline and I had no idea what I was dealing with until several months into it and I hit the internet searching for answers on his behavior. Don't ignore the red flags as someone just being "quirky". Cory is right, as we do become addicted to these people and it's call me a Trauma Bond or Soul Tie. The hormones in our body become addicted to the sweet/mean cycles they dish out. When they ignore you, otherwise known as a silent treatment it's all to control and punish you. When they come back around after you say you're done with the relationship that's called a "Hoover" and they do that because they don't have fresh supply in place or they do it to be the one to discard you, because they're never going to let you be the one to end it and you'll never get any closure either. It all runs in a cycle with them which is idealize, devalue and discard. Everytime you go back it gets worse and the cycles get shorter. I remember the last time I went back to my ex he wasn't even nice for 24 hours. This was one of the shortest relationships I've ever had in my life & hands-down the hardest to get over. If you've never been in a relationship with a Cluster B, you will never understand. If you think you are in a relationship with one of these individuals, there are so many great channels on UA-cam to help educate you so you never have to deal with these people again. By studying this personality disorder it has helped me realize what happened in my childhood to even tolerate this treatment to begin with and that is when most people do the best healing.
I was hurt deeply after my 3 year relationship with a person just like this ended . I’m hoping to get over it . I was an 18 year old boy and i didn’t know better. She took part of my soul .
One of my favourite videos of yours Corey. My last relationship I recently ended in a nutshell. Much the wiser and stronger having learnt from it, and know it's set me up to have quality women and healthier relationships in the future.
I agree with dashiboy. Atleast you admit to having a problem, sharing this is taking some form of responsbility in my eyes. I don't even mind beeing with someone who got some issues, As long as they own up to it and try everything they can to work on those issues.
I just broke up to a contrilling, needy, jealous critical women. She made me feel so good with all the love, affection and I've never felt like this good in my entire 44 yrs of life. I tried so hard but was i never understood or good enough. I deeply hurt right now still as I want to work out so bad. I'm not that handsome and I have low self esteem so I dont think I will ever find another girl in life. Most days I rather die then dying. 😥
So I started talking to this girl about 2 or 3 months ago and we were really into each other when we first started out. I asked her about her past relationships one time and she told me that she broke up with someone who she had been with for six months prior to our relationship. She said that he was her first love and he started treating her worse and worse as their relationship went on, until she ended it. She said that he broke her heart, but she also said that she's always going to Have some feelings for him because it was her first love. I didn't really think much about it because she seemed like she was pretty in to me. As our relationship went on I could start noticing that she wasn't as happy as she normally was and she made things very awkward between us. I felt like she was starting to pull away from me, this bothered me because I really liked her and I just wanted to see her happy. I had been treating her very well, and I tried to tell her how much she meant to me everyday, so I wasn't really sure if there was anything else I could do to make her like me again. Right when I started to lose hope in the relationship, she would do something that would suck me back in and make me like her again. I started becoming frustrated because I was sick of putting in so much effort in to a woman who was still thinking and caring about the ex that broke her heart when she should have been caring for me because I was the one trying to fix it. One day she was being very short with me when I was just trying to see how her day was going. I could tell that something was wrong with her so I told her that I needed to talk to her. I told her that I was getting tired of putting in effort and getting nothing in return and she agreed that I was putting in all the effort. She said that her ex texted her and said that he missed her, she told me that she wanted to be with me but she just needed time to get over her ex so that she can give me 100% of her. We decided to stop talking so that she could have time to get over her ex completely. She also said that I was the most attractive guys she had ever dated and She said that I treated her the best as well. I decided to wait however long it took for her to get over him. I wanted to wait because she was one of the most funniest and beautiful girls that I had ever meet. Then one day I found out through a friend that she had slept with her ex a month after we ended. I was heartbroken and upset because I knew that they were starting to talk again. I still have a lot of feelings for her and I miss her, I still think about her everyday and it's eating me alive because I know I can treat her better. I'm afraid that she's going to get hurt again, and I would be very upset to see her in so much pain. I don't know what to do because it's hard to find someone new when u have so much feelings for someone else. My mom told me that if I liked her and thought she was that great then I can't just let her go, I have to do something, but I don't know what to do and I need advice
Did you get back with her? Most people that keep on bringing up an ex, especially a first love, are a lost cause. I find even if they are bringing up all the bad times only, that is still keeping the ex a main topic of discussion. My Ex did the same "I need space to clear my head" thing, abs went right back to the ex the next day. Realize these women planned all along to get back with the ex. They told us that excuse just so they would not feel guilty in sleeping with them. Perhaps, your situation worked out.
I got to this place with my family. Finally recognized that they are toxic and only caused me to experience confusion and lack in my life when they influenced it.
men often equate "emotional shit together" to mean they dont pressure you to discuss deeper issues or solve problems ir consider some changes that can benefit both people ....as long as they can have their way they are happy but expect you to jump through hoops for them
I know this video is old but this is 100% my wife!! We have kids though and she’s ready to leave me again and I pray that I can move on this time but she waits till I get with someone to want me back and I’ve got to see her with a couple dudes because I’ve got to see her for my son!! I just wish I didn’t have to go through this pain over and over again and it’s my fault for not being able to let go of the love I’ve got for her!
I am with a woman who I had a baby with 9 months ago, we stay together and its a nightmare, all info here is like ticking the check boxes, an argument that she will create will end up being my fault, the next day she would wake up and everything would be normal but before the day ends she switches on her temper, her ex told me about this and I did not believe it, I feel stuck with her because of my precious daughter but I am getting to a point where my happiness needs to also be in the light and I will be there for my daughter but these women are toxic and what's worse is that they don't see it. Thanks for the video Corey.
my 98 yr old great grandfather broke up with my great grandmother. The problem is now they have to explain to their 76 yr old son, my grandfather that's it wasn't his fault. I feel really bad.
Hansen RJ Oh-my-goodness!!! 😆😁💙🖤🖤💙 YES!!! I’ve been watching a bunch of his videos & reading the comments... and *THIS* *ONE* *NAILED* *IT* !!! 🤣 Thank you!!! 🤩✨🙏🏻✨
Hi Corey I feel like I'm a really great girl, I'm loving, kind, I try to avoid drama, I have healthy relationships with my friends and family. I have hobbies and my own interests. I've been single 5yrs and tried to enjoy my life as much as possible. However I am insecure especially when I like someone bc all this fear comes up and I'm reminded of my past two relationships one was cheated on and the other strung along. I'm afraid to give again but I don't want fear to inhibit me from happiness. I don't want to be the girl that you recommend not to date.
how did things turn around ? also the past has lessons to be learned, i'm in a relationship with someone who has problems with that, and i needed to pay the price, its good to heal and to know there are people out with red flags. from both sides there can be red flags, just like my gf i'm leaving, too much drama and the good times were very good, but the bad times are taking so much toll on my lifeforce that i can't take it anymore. i rather date and have fun and encounter the drama free person with the same good qualities, this is my 2nd girlfriend and i learned a lot about females i shouldn't date, she was much better than my 1st girlfriend, so i expect my next to be much better than this!, but its for our eyes to see..
If the woman is Borderline or mentally ill otherwise, that may not work. She may decide to stalk you or frame you to seem like an asshole woman beater or some shit
I’ve been listening to a lot of UA-cam vids since being dumped but this video really hit home and made me feel acceptance. As a woman, I need to hear it from the man’s point of view and realize that what we had didn’t work. You said it all and put things in my ex’s perspective. We both contributed to the failure of our relationship but I now can see why he did what he did. Thanks Corey.
I am officially done today. A year of my life wasted of her going back and forth between me and some other dude. I know it will be tough but I know someday I will get over it. Wish me luck guys !
Oscar Mendoza find a better one brother
Oscar Mendoza do it!!
Oscar Mendoza hope all is good a year later man✊🏽
Oscar Mendoza long distance relationship who knows only her bad attitude speaks and spell
How is it now?
Being in a relationship with a passive aggressive person is like having the life sucked out of you every day. It's just constant BS, complaining, drama, never ending whining. It's incredibly hard to break away from them, they have an amazing ability to flip the switch when you're done!
Hope you manged to leave the toxic person, and are much happier now :)
yes, some men act like women, indeed
And my favourite. Its NEVER their fault.....its never her fault. Its 3 days b4 Christmas and she wants to throw fits again....pfft. I told her if she's gonna get upset and pissed off everytime I say something she doesnt want....she can go home and cool off.
Yes!!! Exactly what happened to me
Yes,been there for one year living hell on earth.I am done with this bitch,keep your head high and shoulders back.
I literally just got out of a toxic relationship yesterday... Everything was very loving at first but I quickly began to notice that her insecurities were being projected onto me. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me or maybe I was weak but then I remembered that I was NOT this person when I got into this relationship. I was a positive, outgoing and honest guy! Fast forward to yesterday and she really showed her true colors. I had broken up with her 2 months ago after voicing numerous times that I was not happy with her not communicating and keeping things to herself when I knew something was wrong. I gave her space and allowed her to talk but she would just try and ignore it hoping it'd go away. Yesterday, we tried reconciling everything and I kid you not, she would literally twist everything I said and make herself the victim. It was unbelievable! Needless to say, I am done!! I will never stand for being treated and underappreciated again. She'll probably crawl back but I won't have it. I'm moving on to better things. Wish me luck guys!
She sounds like a narcissist bro . There is NO changing them. I know it’s tough but they’ll make feel guilty but it’s not your fault .
Soooooo true
Good luck bro you did the thing i’ve been trying to do for the past 3 years
Like James said, this person sound like a narcissist. I’ve been involved with one myself and had HELL getting away from her. Life is much better once you do.
Godspeed. Hope you stuck with it, and i hope she stopped playing the victim and starts appreciating life for the good it is too
When you finally realize that you’ve changed just to make her happy....it’s not going to last
5150pop I’m on bi polar meds now and any time we get into a argument she blames it me being bi polar. Most of the it’s her that starts the argument. Like last night and today for instance . Last night she was making a gift for a friends daughter one was a board with “happy birthday “ on it. Well I was on the edge of the bed watching a movie with my daughter and I didn’t know she was behind me with glue going over it . Well I moved and it messed her up and she got pissed and went to the kitchen . I said I was sorry and I didn’t know she was doing that.. well the rest of the night she was in a bad mood and the next day she tells me she was mad because I didn’t help her and I said I didn’t know and why didn’t she ask I would have helped . The rest of the day she was in a bad mood and annoyed over anything . I asked her what was wrong and she told me she was in a bad mood but she started being rude to my kids over small things like dropping the pillows off her Spare bed and dog hair getting on it.. she made some comments that upset me because she wants to try for a baby( she don’t have kids but I do) but gets upset over small things they do when it wasn’t even their fault. Her room is a mess always (shes 43) and dogs get everything dirty and shed and she does nothing about it but got mad over my kids dropping pillows while they are asleep. I didn’t wanna argue and wanted to give her space so I left and she got mad and hasn’t talked to me since. I sent a long message explaining why I left and how she made me feel. I wrote it as nicely and respectful as I could so she don’t take it the wrong way . It’s small things like that that she gets mad over all the time and anytime I try to talk and say I’m concerned about something she turns it around and makes me the bad person
Bearded bacon Double bacon you shouldn’t be with her, you shouldn’t have had kids with her, you knew how she was so why did you choose to have a child with this toxic woman?
That is why I lost a good man. After he left I've learned a lot about me.
Respect, you took ownership and actually worked on your blind spots.
I salute you.
A Freedom takes honesty to admit that. Good for you.
@@divinethug1 totally
i also lost a good woman too and the mother of our child due to how i was to my ex towards her over the years,i never hit her or cheated on her,but i was emotionally void to her emotions and would become angry and say the most horrible things to her over the 5yrs together.when she left i understood how she felt really felt about me and i took her for granted thinking we would get back together as we always did...but this time it really has ended.i am broken but it is a lesson well learned..i miss her very much and i will always love her but i am working on myself to better myself inside and out
she was the one for me but it was myself that destroyed our relationship
I'm a girl, but this video was spelled out exactly what I went through. I knew the relationship was toxic but I just didn't want to accept it would never get better. Now I'm out of it and free, and just want to say to anyone else going through the same thing: You CAN survive without the person. I promise you, when you move on from them you will feel so liberated and happy. Thanks Corey!
You're absolutely correct. Leaving someone who is toxic is still a little scary, but that's because we all fear the unknown. However, the unknown is usually much better and you wonder why you didn't end it sooner.
All women are bi polar
They need that drama
@@jonsmith8083 all men are narcissistic
@@evernynemarions567 BS
This was so my ex fiance. She had depression, anxiety, OCD, only 8 months together I was living in a personal hell. I loved her a lot and tried to help her but to no avail.
Similar man. I couldn’t fix her as much as I wanted to
Drama addicts are draining. I love peace!
Corey is so right. It's so hard to move on, and a part of me still loves the person she once was. I still remember her face and it's not easy. I ignored so many red flags, and I still kept trying. I wonder if people like that will ever find happiness.
This video has really helped me start to climb out of a deep depression. Thank you for making sense of the back & forth relationship I’ve been involved in.
Same here dude.
I know the feeling
Ahhh same...
Now I’m engaged to the woman of my dreams! I don’t even remember which relationship this post was about anymore.
Lying is the most toxic behavior... "The more kindness you show to a liar the more he is apt to lie, for he thinks that you know not, while you do know, but extreme kindness keeps you from revealing your knowledge." ~ Bahá’í Faith
Honestly these videos help me understand if was in a toxic relationship and made the right choice to let her go
i dated a chick over a decade...DECADE..problems at work...problems at home...problems with mom..problems with dad...problems with friends..low self esteem it just became too damn much..one day she wanted to work things out and i literally had no more energy...i felt depleted..i was done..we have 2 kids i take my kids and keep it moving..my health is better..my new girl is normal and im so much better now mentally..10 years of fun times but mentally damn draining for someone in their 20s
Well done Bro :)
Trye love cant fail if it does it never. Was
went through the same thing myself. literally sucking the good years and life right from you. kudos for you man.
Same here bro , I'm going through it now that's why I'm here . It's time to walk fuck the good times lol
Well done, bro
This was my exact story two years ago. I was with someone like this and it eroded my self-esteem. The good news is, I can never ever go back to being ok with this type of treatment. it's like once you wake up, you can never go back to sleep and be the old you. That relationship put a fire under my ass like no other. I don't tolerate anything from anyone, yet I'm still loving and accepting. Feminine, yet my boundaries are firm. I hope this guy listens to you and never allows himself to be treated that poorly again. It's never worth it.
Thanks and I did :)
Coach, I just dodged a bullet this week. I was applying what you teach and I met a person just like the girl in this video. I tried setting boundaries, I tried waiting a few days to message, and these things pissed her off and caused her to start drama. I now have rejected the bad apple.
some people just don't know how to love, unfortunately. And in my humble opinion not being able to give or receive love ia a tragedy.🙁
200% correct
Holy shit this video is just what I needed. Just broke up with an emotionally abusive and toxic ex-girlfriend 2 weeks ago. Always created drama and exploded on me for the littlest things-only got worse and worse over time. And I like many kept holding on in the belief that it would eventually get better. It's too bad because I really loved and cared for the girl and we even had a puppy, whose shes since taken. My head knows what my heart doesn't want to believe-that this is for the better. Thank you.
Art Science
Sounds like my ex dude. Started being abusive to her cat and shit, yelling loudly at him to be quiet and hitting him hard. The abuse then turned to me, fuck that shit I’m out lol.
I can relate completely. I was on my last nerve during the 4 year marriage to my ex wife who I did not know when I met her is a covert narcissist. We were having words about something and I was speaking my piece on the matter. As a narcissist, she of course did not want to hear what I had to say, nor did she value me as a person so she started her devaluing tactics. I then responded telling her I was done putting up with her behavior of needlessly and unprovoked insulting and abuse, cheating and treating me like a door mat. Now, here is the moment where a 20,000 lumen light bulb clicked on in my head-She then said "Well if ya don't like being treated like a door mat then take your shit and get the hell out so I can find a door mat." Yeah....
WTH... yes, sometimes they just say it outright.
When someone tells you who they really are, believe them. Run
What really sucks balls are great women who can't communicate. And they don't have the skills to realize this. Because there's nothing to work with. When someone gives you the silent treatment and just magically thinks you should just.. "know" and when you try and tell them "No sorry.. I don't "KNOW"" And they can't forgive you for it. That really sucks. Ladies? Don't ever assume your guy knows what you're thinking.
+roquefortfiles That's passive aggressive behavior. She is doing it piss you off. Tell her your going on with your friends and watch how fast she breaks out her silent treatment.
+roquefortfiles its the other way around too...my boyfriend gives me silent treatment and its really easy to make him angry and wanting to give me a silent treatment. If I ask him what's wrong he always says "nothing, its fine". Its a fucking guessing game every time. Passive-agressiveness at its best.
*****
If you're unhappy about shit? say so. Nobody thinks your thoughts or feels your feelings. The sooner everyone is on the same page the sooner the problem gets solved.
*****
Everyone is different. Direct I can handle. Vague, confused conflicted? No. I'd rather have a girl scream at me about what's bothering her than spend a week in the silent room trying to decipher someone's feelings. Nobody is inside anyone's head.
it's equally frustrating when you actually try to communicate with a man and they refuse to listen
It's been three weeks now. She likes to drink 5 or 6 beers every night. I told her I've had enough I won't have a girlfriend that drinks.
We're both 60 years old and she's not going to change. Goodbye!
Find ya a 30 year old that just smokes dope and loves to fuck !!! End of story !!!! Lol
Did she drink before you met her? Maybe she's drinking because of you.
Dude if she drinks and puts out that all you need, if she don’t put out then it’s good bye
@@rickyharvey4835 ironically that would be higher value
Passive aggressive is a very small part of the issue. The problem is much larger. These characters are likely under the DSM-5 cluster B personality disorders such as; antisocial,sociopath, narcissist, borderline personalities. These people consist of 1 out every 7 people. (Very toxic) also known as emotional vampires. They will suck you dry on all levels and leave you with Complex-PTSD (losing your sense of worth, value & identity). It's definitely a yo-yo ride creating drama bond (Stockholm syndrome like conditions). I barely made it out alive. The key is to get out & stay out. Further more, this experience has me equiped to avoid further toxicity by knowing how they operate & not ignoring the red flags.
Use Coach Cory's 90 day rule and see if the mask comes off. These people love bomb & move very quickly in the beginning to suck you..... try not to get attached. Some keep their mask on for longer but the mask falls off from time to time. Watch for it. Thanks Corey!
Date with caution...
that is true, I just came out of a relationship with someone that is a dismissive avoidant and a covert Narcissist. This is definitely not codependency but cluster B personality disorder
Yes thank you for this! I got entangled with a narcissistic sociopath who made me pregnant by lying about having vasectomy and then put me in mental hospital for asking him to be involved.
I grew up with BPD mother who was highly narcissistic so I think he preyed on me.
Just got out of a relationship with a covert narc, unbelievable trauma & mental abuse. Feels great to finally break through those chains, unfortunately I have a daughter with her. Keep your heads held up high gentlemen!
Holy shit, Subscribing now. You just described my marriage in the entire freaking video. I swear sometimes I thought it was just me. She does exactly every thing you were describing. I talked to an old girlfriend that I haven't talk to in a long time about her and told her every detail and how she is. She has a masters in psychology and works at a mental health clinic or something like that. But, She said it sounded like she had borderline personality disorder. I had to look that stuff up but yeah. It described her perfectly.
So you went to an old girlfriend to vent about your wife?
Corey, i just love your energy ! its so positive while talking so much sense! great job
He’s the bald headed master.
@@matthewpotts3781 shaved headed
Tried dating a girl that openly admitted to being insecure and lacking self-confidence. It was long distance so it was destined to fail but it was draining constantly having to give compliments or giving compliments and having to explain why. It also sucked when my words weren’t ever enough so she had to turn to social media to seek approval. I thought I was crazy but when I decided I couldn’t do it anymore, she immediately posted half naked pics of herself on social media and that’s when I knew she was an attention seeker
Your last words hit home......" Sometimes you will have people in your life for two weeks, others for two years..." Imagine. I was married before. It only lasted a few years,,,,,,,I see things differently now.
narcissist are insecure and will put you down and never secure with how they feel
Martine Cooper You are correct. I had a relationship with a narcissist for six months. She gave me hard feeling, screwed up the dating and made me to think she is the only woman in the universe.
I was married to a narcissist for over six years. They leave you and always pin the blame on you for their problems, and they don't appreciate the good you do for them. Just in my final stages for divorce.
Martine Cooper yes they are very fucked people I was with one for 10 years and she left me just like that for someone that had more of everything . She always said I was a lire she never ever once ever would compelment me or call me handsome me on the other hand would always treat her good always compelment her take her out ect . Ect. I was hurt when I cought her talking to some one else but she planned it that way for me to catch her because she new I would through her out out of anger, because she was a coward and couldn't just tell me and break up with me normally she just didn't want to do she rather have a fucked up break up so she can say I through her out and say I was the one who ended it . When actually she ended it . Stupid whore . Nothing is worse than a spinless insecure coward . Like Carlye jo Davenport . She is the worst of the worst.
Richard S Sounds exactly like my husband...
Martine Cooper how do we get thru it bc I just broke up with a narcissist and he keeps lying saying the breakup was my fault from the breakup and now he is saying I was a stalker when I was just waiting for a friend. How do I get thru this when it’s fairly knew
I have never seen a video more compelling and dead on accurate than this one. I have watched many of your videos but this particular topic resonates to the core. I have lived this terrible relationship in the exact same scenario as the description here tells it. It nearly destroyed me. Thank you Corey for saving me. God bless
Glad my experience brought in the light lol 👊
Putting humpty dumpy back together again
I love it.
I like this dude. This dude is real
this is probably unpopular opinion but to me it doesn't matter whether they focus on male or female. narcissistic personality regardless of their gender manipulate lots of things almost the same way (the key main points anyways). I'm here to find a way to heal from abusive relationship, educate myself and move on.
NPD is more prevalent in males than females, however I do agree with you :)
Random Goddess hi
Random Goddess hello
female NDP's are dangerous and harder to identify
vsonic86 the same way how NPD mostly abuse people with. They manipulate you, play mind games, rewrote your reality, and corroded your essence. Emotional abusive relationship.
He's like the kind of friend that always gives good dating advice but is always single. In other words that's me lol
"I'll be different... Never happens" Such a perfect quote for everyone fooling themselves with a toxic person.
I can't believe that quote. That is exactly what happened to me.
She even said: "I was different at the beginning because I cared about the relationship".
Like that's gonna help me in any kind or shape...I just fell in love with a fictional person, a person that she chose to be in order to win me and after a few months she revealed herself to me. Too late at that point...you can guess the rest.
I got goosebumps watching this, really thought I was alone in dealing with this.. Thank you Corey!!
This video is on the money! I fell back into a toxic relationship and the bullshit started again. Glad I watched this eye opening video. Time to start re-reading Corey's book, over and over again.
Thanks Corey
People can just be incompatible, not toxic. Your ideas about the first 90 days is wise. Sure someone could be toxic but more often than not just incompatible. People can hide potential deal breakers when first dating. It goes both ways. A guy may love golfing and initially he goes but has cut back because of a new romance. Then months later he is golfing 2x a week, mainly on weekends. At 1st the woman may overlook it and think it is not "every" week. But it is and they want to do other things. Is the person toxic? No. They just have completely different interests and priorities, many of which will be unnoticeable in the beginning. The key to pickup early is this, initially in a relationship something can and will catch your eye about the person, raise an eyebrow. Spend time thinking about it closely because it will be something you will see again and probably more often as time goes by. I use the "fart" analogy. Everyone farts but you meet someone who after time thinks it's funny to fart on you, next to you, under covers, basically everywhere. You may not get the same kick out of hearing yourself fart as they do. At first it garnered a few giggles but now it's every fuckin night. Your sick of saying "thank you may I have another" Eventually you lose your cool. Well there are many things that may get under your skin and realize they may be there constantly. How many people knew shortly on the person had a potential addiction? They listen to the excuses and trick themselves that the person will change. That is a huge red flag and ignoring it and dealing with it early can save a ton of crazy. Addictions do not get better, they get way worse before they may get better. Look at the negative side always because that will be the one you deal with. Is that what you want and can handle? If not get out now.
I'm a woman and I'm in a toxic relationship and my boyfriend acts like a woman. I try and try to communicate with him but he never wants to say he does things wrong. If he calls me out on something then I'll admit to it and I'll try to do better. But now I'm starting to realize this is somebody I wouldn't want to raise my kids or someone I'd like to be with for the rest of my life. My boyfriend is very passive aggressive and very manipulative. But I've finally realized that I need a man not a woman and I need someone who's going to love me and treat me the way I need to be treated instead of worrying and crying everyday because of him.
Right on, misskaylee!
Run!! Tread for daylight!! My guy was just like that. He was a Bitch Boy!
I broke up with him about 2 months ago and I've never been happier! Of course he's trying to start problems with me by having his friends talk to me trying to get "Information" on me. Then started calling me all these disrespectful names. But I'm happier without him then I was with him. Yes it hurts because he was my first love but I'm getting over it one step at a time. I've never felt better.
misskaylee bugslyrics he will eventually(hopefully) grow up.
For the sake of any girl after me I pray that he does grow up because I would honestly hate for any girl to have to go through what I did
Mr. Wayne I thank you for this video.
I will now be reading your book 10 times consecutively. No more read a few times a month or once a year. I am committed to becoming a wholly new person, because the women I picked and dealt with were not what I deserved. I wasted time with women whom I knew within 2months it wasn’t going to going anywhere, just an extended subscription service for hooking up and listening to one’s problems.
NO MORE.
This comment is a reminder to myself in the future to not give up on finding the right woman.
Do not tolerate someone you have a problem with in any aspect. CALL IT OUT. Better to be hated for standing your ground, than to bend to someone else’s lifestyle which is incompatible with your own.
And if they aren’t willing to change for you and your plans, keep walking theirs another one coming up ahead.
Be a man. Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Be yourself, it’s alright.
Corey you are truly gifted bro!! You described word for word my last tumultuous 3yr on-off relationship.
Exactly, having dated a guy we were living in the same area, we became addicted to each other even though I didn't like some of his lifestyles and behaviours I was just there knowing I was unhappy advicing and hoping he will change. For one year I realised he isn't gonna ever change. I gradually adviced we take a break and rethink to sort out our issues but deep inside of me I am done with him; just didn't want us to start bickering at each other or start feeling we've broken up. I still reply to his text messages at my own time but never go to his again; got busy with my job and find things that interest me and occupy my life. I am certainly so so happy deep inside of me, I taught I couldn't do it; only realised I was feeling pity for him not to break his heart whereas I was in prison myself. I am so relieved. Thank you for your videos, new to your channel, you are amazing. I like you because you are blunt. Welldone.
Coach, this condition is called Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style.
I just went through a 3 month relationship with a girl from New Mexico just like this. I didn’t even know there was a vocabulary for this type of condition!
She was 95% amazing with a 5% monster that would come out periodically.
Anyways, can you go over Attachment Theory?
I wake up everyday and can't believe I'm actually going through all of this and I don't know where I went wrong I didn't intend for any of this to happen.
John Cross Same here.
Me too. My mom just died and I feel lost
Damn!! That's exactly what I just went through. I was like I have to get this toxic dude out of my life. He was just non-stop Drama! He had so much baggage and he just drained my energy! I had to let him go for my own sake. After giving him another chance, I just realized I had to let him go. It was really affecting me in a negative way. He was just not a good guy. He had so many problems and it was just total chaos. I just couldn't love him through all that shit. I had to choose myself! I Love Me! Fuck that Crazy Shit!
cmills7 how long were you with that person, putting up with the bs?
Some people love drama and if there isnt any they will create it!
Coach I finally had to come to term with myself that the girl who I loved can never change. I ignored so many red flags since the beginning and a year later the universe finally woke me up to the reality of whats truly in her heart, a cheater and liar and manipulator but I watched your videos but I said to myself, no I'm different but I was only ignoring what was truly in front of me. Thank you for your help! From the bottom of my heart you truly helped me pick myself up from this toxic relationship.🙏 forever grateful.
Enjoyed the video! It really touched on how I have been feeling. Its great to know I'm not the only one. I'm encouraged about the future.
I know this video is from some years ago, but this is exactly what I'm going through now. Thanks for this video, Corey !
You hit the nail on the head , about the 90 day thing
Owen Brown or the second they move in with you. Everything changed. Not in a good way.
This is actually a great video. Natural and insightful. The speaker is likeable. This helped me understand my situation better. Thank you.
Just block the number don't change it. If they call you from another number block that too.
So spot on Corey ! I'm in the mist of leaving my toxic person , I had to get to the point where I love myself more than a dysfunctional relationship.....
Tired of putting Humpty Dumpty together again, let that toxic egg crack lolol.
+Crissy Thompson ever wonder why humpty dumpty was on the wall? "All the people had to put him together AGAIN"! Humpty had issues. lol
+Crissy Thompson ever wonder why humpty dumpty was on the wall? "All the people had to put him together AGAIN"! Humpty had issues. lol
+Song Knock Lolololol
lol back;)
So true!!
I've never been knocked on my ass like I did in this video. I need to buy your book this week. Holy hell did my eyes open. Thank you Coach. I have to watch this video over and over to drill this lesson in my head. 7 years is to long to commit to someone even with kids involved.
Same as my situation. Spot on. I manage to back off now and i will never contact her again. I think the best place for drama is in a drama course. Not in my life.
The first two minutes of this video really hits home.. keep going back and fourth on what I want and questioning myself. It is a lot of work and so tiring.. there is no communicating and no changing. The best advice is to accept that they are who they are.. decide what you want to do with that information and will it work for you in the long run? If the answer is no then the next move is go...If the answer is yes prepare to stress.
Thank you for the confirmation Coach. WOW. So true. Now I know better and in the process of healing and restoration. SMH.
Holy shit!!!!! These videos deserve wayyyyy more views and LIKES!!! I was trying to figure out if my wife has me in one of these abusive relationships. Not so surprised to discover there's almost No videos for men being abused in relationships. I'm about to binge watch all the information in all these videos😁🤗😀🤗😁😁! Thank you Corey!!👍🏿
The reason why videos about men being in abusive relationship do not exist is because our screwed up society automatically perceives men as the perpetrators and women as victims. It's also partially our fault because we do not talk about these issues more frequently and hence shy away from forming support groups vs women who whine, bitch and moan to the entire world.
He is so real and down to earth. I can respect that!
It is refreshing to hear somebody swear elegantly. When it comes to these emotions and this level of pain there is no way in hell that you can talk about it without swearing...
You realize your always only hearing one side of the story ... There are lots of toxic people who will turn things around to make it sound like the OTHER person is the toxic one
angela gouldsborough I totally agree this is one sided & u can clearly tell "coach Corey " has unresolved issues regarding women .. I wouldn't take advice from a man who preaches like a maniac & who clearly has resentment and a plethora of other issues ! Pls notice his constant GIRLFRIEND examples they ALL seem to be the problem - I get the feeling he walked out as he wasn't emotionally mature enough this dubbing these women insane & neurotic !!!!!!!!
Men are scientifically proven to be emotionally immature they can't handle anything so before critiquing everything in every women or listening to this idiot have a think and get a second sane opinion !!!!
S Soulseer wow someone's immature
Thank you I was starting to think i am the toxic person. But I would argue with him because issues never really gut resolve. How can someone not argue when it’s the same issue all the time
Someone's feeling very insecure lol 😂
@@deesoulseer6639 you hit the nail on the head. Extreme "coahes" more than likely have unresolved issues and resentment towards the opposite sex.
Coach i cannot thank you enough dude. You made me a better man back then, you are still making me a better man each time i listen to your videos again.
i have always been who i am , my husband has always been who he is, we have both grown , changed , adapted, both in different directions and both in the same. we except each other for who we are, but we dont benefit from each other as people. i want to debate and discuss and he wants to play his games and relax, he wants to disassociate i want to engage , but its a selfish motive, i want to engage in topics and ideals and politically current matters to feed my brain, he cant be bothered. i accept that. i dont have anyone else to be free with so i keep it too my self now mostly or my daughter who is similar to me of her own accord. ppl can be different and still be united :)
+Skittzy true
I need you to educate my girlfriend
OMG This was almost exactly my story for 3 years!! Thanks for sharing.
I was that girl was once and trust me not by choice. you're right. With my family it was all drama and heartache since early childhood. i hate myself for all the pain that I've caused to the person who genuinely loved me but change is so damn hard. Trauma and pain was all that i knew my parents never had a healthy and loving relationship.
This 90 Day comment is so true.....you should never get emotionally involved with someone that quick....trust me, I fell for this and 9 yrs later, I am still wondering WHY I am still married to this loveless liar.....( part of it is that I am chronically ill....and have no other family)
From 50 seconds to 3:29 explains my predicament exactly. I fell in love with someone I probably shouldn't of been dating because I ignored things that really bother me in the relationship. After 2 years I couldn't take it any more, so I broke it off. She really wanted to work things out and claimed things "could change", and we have been casually dating since I broke it off the last 2 months. I can tell from just casually dating that those things won't/can't change because that is just the way she is. Now I am finding it INCREDIBLY difficult to detach from her. Logically I know she isn't right for me, but my heart wants it to work out so bad. LISTEN TO COREY. Notice the red flags and incompatibility issues before you make the same mistake. It's simply NOT worth it!
Ffs this is me exactly. How did things end up for you? We’re in the casual stage basically
I'm actually in the beginning of this situation and I see the red flags. Something inside of me wants to make it work but, another side of me knows better.
@@marcellusrobinson1465 Try to think logically on this man and be careful. I know how hard it is. I ended up ending things with my ex again because the things I didn't like, weren't going to change. It took years to heal from it, but I finally found someone better fit for me, who I have been with for a year now. I still think about my ex sometimes, because I do miss her as a person and regret the pain I caused her. Save both her and yourself the pain if you know in your heart it isn't right. Good luck.
@@oahts5906 Sorry, I am just now seeing this. Hope you were able to make the right decision for you. I ended up ending things with my ex again because they weren't going to change. It took years to heal from it, but I finally found someone better fit for me, who I have been with for a year now. I still think about my ex sometimes, because I do miss her as a person and regret the pain I caused her.
@@HappyTrees wow no problem, thanks for coming back after 4 years! Glad to hear you’re doing well now. My ex and I are still somewhat close, though we’ve been spending more and more time apart. We’re both mature enough to recognize a toxic situation so we’re taking the steps we need in order to get our lives back on track. We have a lot of love for each other, we have the understanding that if things are meant to be they will be.
Your mentality is very good, your perspective is unique
I've been married almost 3yrs. The passed year and half my husband has been argumentative, complains, always mad, everything's a big deal. I'm freaking miserable and i don't know what to do i swear. I told him from the beginning I'm not an argumentative person he said "neither am I" yeah right.
He's hiding stuff.
I completely agree with the 90 day rule. However, I have learned that unless there is SOME intimate connection, the relationship will die. I have been living with a guy for over a year and a half and he has never touched or kissed me. Needless to say, bitterness had set in. As well as mistrust and insecurity. There is no resolution and has now progressed to emotional abuse. Thank you for your videos. Any positive input is always good.
yep, looks and great sex make it harder to leave. But I am glad I did... it will wear you down
AmethystDreaming ain't that some shit brother gosh how I feel rn
How did u get over it
Rasta Fonz me too, reason I can’t let go. Things are bad and my relationship is toxic
Lol good point
I'm on the boat right now. Bangin body and crazy sex. But I have to get the fuck out. This girl is crazy
This hit me hard. He basically describes me top to bottom. I'm the passive agresive toxic person. I should leave him for he's own good and need start fixing myself. it hurts so much...
YESSSS!!!!!!!!!! 2 minutes in & I'm smiling ear to ear 👍🏽
Cool name
So true...loving him meant being dragged thru chaos. Detaching is harder than hell because he is charming and warm but it is necessary.
His life is a mess.
I am also glad that you are talking about guys being in toxic relationships. People of both sexes deal with these issues.Thank you so much for doing this video!
I laughed, I cried (at myself) watching your video. I am a woman who dealt with the female counterpart your video spoke of. "Blowin' up my phone"...excellent perspicacity. "Off like a prom dress" is my mantra for dudes "that don't have their shit together". Love your frank narration and tone and facial expressions.
One thing is having a dating or attraction dynamic, but I really hate the types of people who play mind games all the time. Who would be in a healthy relationship with someone that says "I ghosted because I was afraid of falling in love" and at the same time point fingers when he/she perceives distancing from you. And yeah sometimes it's a matter of doing what you say, a turnoff can be "I think we can talk tomorrow at x hours" and never show up.
This video struck a chord. Well said.
Relationship never works out if it's already toxic.Staying and working things out all over again is just a waste of time.It's better to end it up and start doing better things for yourself before anything else.
It’s always good to focus on the positive and joyous side of life❤️😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️that’s what I’ve always tried to do😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My ex was the same and now I am free from drama but still feel the addiction.
The whole damn video is nothing but THE TRUTH. I just got out of a relationship with a damaged, disrespectful, and toxic woman. I swear me and the guy in the email dated the same woman. I've read the book 5x (will read it 10-15). Where were you last year coach...lol THANK YOU for your book and everything
I know this video is 7 years old but there are countless videos out there now describing the Cluster B disordered individuals and this is exactly what it sounds like. That's the erratic and dramatic category which includes your borderline, narcissistic, sociopaths and psychopaths. I was with a narcissist or borderline and I had no idea what I was dealing with until several months into it and I hit the internet searching for answers on his behavior. Don't ignore the red flags as someone just being "quirky". Cory is right, as we do become addicted to these people and it's call me a Trauma Bond or Soul Tie. The hormones in our body become addicted to the sweet/mean cycles they dish out. When they ignore you, otherwise known as a silent treatment it's all to control and punish you. When they come back around after you say you're done with the relationship that's called a "Hoover" and they do that because they don't have fresh supply in place or they do it to be the one to discard you, because they're never going to let you be the one to end it and you'll never get any closure either. It all runs in a cycle with them which is idealize, devalue and discard. Everytime you go back it gets worse and the cycles get shorter. I remember the last time I went back to my ex he wasn't even nice for 24 hours. This was one of the shortest relationships I've ever had in my life & hands-down the hardest to get over. If you've never been in a relationship with a Cluster B, you will never understand. If you think you are in a relationship with one of these individuals, there are so many great channels on UA-cam to help educate you so you never have to deal with these people again. By studying this personality disorder it has helped me realize what happened in my childhood to even tolerate this treatment to begin with and that is when most people do the best healing.
I was hurt deeply after my 3 year relationship with a person just like this ended . I’m hoping to get over it . I was an 18 year old boy and i didn’t know better. She took part of my soul .
Holy shit, so glad I read this in time. Everyone and everything is telling me to run but I wouldn't listen.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you coach!
This is great. I think that I have saved myself Alot of headeach after seing This video.
One of my favourite videos of yours Corey.
My last relationship I recently ended in a nutshell. Much the wiser and stronger having learnt from it, and know it's set me up to have quality women and healthier relationships in the future.
16:24 "And I was off like a prom dress!" LOL..... Love it (I'm adding that phrase to my vocabulary)
It's funny when you watch something like this and you find yourself being a "toxic" one in the relationship.
Nemanja Prvulović at least you ackownledge that and can work on yourself. Good luck!
I agree with dashiboy.
Atleast you admit to having a problem, sharing this is taking some form of responsbility in my eyes.
I don't even mind beeing with someone who got some issues, As long as they own up to it and try everything they can to work on those issues.
Yep, same here.
Still trying to better myself
I just broke up to a contrilling, needy, jealous critical women. She made me feel so good with all the love, affection and I've never felt like this good in my entire 44 yrs of life. I tried so hard but was i never understood or good enough. I deeply hurt right now still as I want to work out so bad. I'm not that handsome and I have low self esteem so I dont think I will ever find another girl in life. Most days I rather die then dying. 😥
I promise it's a beautiful queen out here for you bro try going on dating sites or going out ...goodluck to you , stay strong king
So I started talking to this girl about 2 or 3 months ago and we were really into each other when we first started out. I asked her about her past relationships one time and she told me that she broke up with someone who she had been with for six months prior to our relationship. She said that he was her first love and he started treating her worse and worse as their relationship went on, until she ended it. She said that he broke her heart, but she also said that she's always going to Have some feelings for him because it was her first love. I didn't really think much about it because she seemed like she was pretty in to me. As our relationship went on I could start noticing that she wasn't as happy as she normally was and she made things very awkward between us. I felt like she was starting to pull away from me, this bothered me because I really liked her and I just wanted to see her happy. I had been treating her very well, and I tried to tell her how much she meant to me everyday, so I wasn't really sure if there was anything else I could do to make her like me again. Right when I started to lose hope in the relationship, she would do something that would suck me back in and make me like her again. I started becoming frustrated because I was sick of putting in so much effort in to a woman who was still thinking and caring about the ex that broke her heart when she should have been caring for me because I was the one trying to fix it. One day she was being very short with me when I was just trying to see how her day was going. I could tell that something was wrong with her so I told her that I needed to talk to her. I told her that I was getting tired of putting in effort and getting nothing in return and she agreed that I was putting in all the effort. She said that her ex texted her and said that he missed her, she told me that she wanted to be with me but she just needed time to get over her ex so that she can give me 100% of her. We decided to stop talking so that she could have time to get over her ex completely. She also said that I was the most attractive guys she had ever dated and She said that I treated her the best as well. I decided to wait however long it took for her to get over him. I wanted to wait because she was one of the most funniest and beautiful girls that I had ever meet. Then one day I found out through a friend that she had slept with her ex a month after we ended. I was heartbroken and upset because I knew that they were starting to talk again. I still have a lot of feelings for her and I miss her, I still think about her everyday and it's eating me alive because I know I can treat her better. I'm afraid that she's going to get hurt again, and I would be very upset to see her in so much pain. I don't know what to do because it's hard to find someone new when u have so much feelings for someone else. My mom told me that if I liked her and thought she was that great then I can't just let her go, I have to do something, but I don't know what to do and I need advice
Did you get back with her?
Most people that keep on bringing up an ex, especially a first love, are a lost cause. I find even if they are bringing up all the bad times only, that is still keeping the ex a main topic of discussion.
My Ex did the same "I need space to clear my head" thing, abs went right back to the ex the next day. Realize these women planned all along to get back with the ex. They told us that excuse just so they would not feel guilty in sleeping with them.
Perhaps, your situation worked out.
I got to this place with my family. Finally recognized that they are toxic and only caused me to experience confusion and lack in my life when they influenced it.
Yes, this information definitely can describe family relationships.
men often equate "emotional shit together" to mean they dont pressure you to discuss deeper issues or solve problems ir consider some changes that can benefit both people ....as long as they can have their way they are happy but expect you to jump through hoops for them
I know someone going thru this and it scares me because I see the drama coming. I will just try to be a positive influence in his life.
You are awesome Corey! Thank you so much!
I've learned so much. I am currently doing no contact because of him and his crazy family members. Can't do it anymore.
I know this video is old but this is 100% my wife!! We have kids though and she’s ready to leave me again and I pray that I can move on this time but she waits till I get with someone to want me back and I’ve got to see her with a couple dudes because I’ve got to see her for my son!! I just wish I didn’t have to go through this pain over and over again and it’s my fault for not being able to let go of the love I’ve got for her!
"I was off like a prom dress"🤷🏾♂️😂
I am with a woman who I had a baby with 9 months ago, we stay together and its a nightmare, all info here is like ticking the check boxes, an argument that she will create will end up being my fault, the next day she would wake up and everything would be normal but before the day ends she switches on her temper, her ex told me about this and I did not believe it, I feel stuck with her because of my precious daughter but I am getting to a point where my happiness needs to also be in the light and I will be there for my daughter but these women are toxic and what's worse is that they don't see it. Thanks for the video Corey.
my 98 yr old great grandfather broke up with my great grandmother. The problem is now they have to explain to their 76 yr old son, my grandfather that's it wasn't his fault. I feel really bad.
Hansen RJ
Oh-my-goodness!!! 😆😁💙🖤🖤💙
YES!!!
I’ve been watching a bunch of his videos & reading the comments... and *THIS* *ONE* *NAILED* *IT* !!! 🤣
Thank you!!! 🤩✨🙏🏻✨
This video really resonates with me with the particular place I'm at in my life. Thank you Corey!
Hi Corey I feel like I'm a really great girl, I'm loving, kind, I try to avoid drama, I have healthy relationships with my friends and family. I have hobbies and my own interests. I've been single 5yrs and tried to enjoy my life as much as possible. However I am insecure especially when I like someone bc all this fear comes up and I'm reminded of my past two relationships one was cheated on and the other strung along. I'm afraid to give again but I don't want fear to inhibit me from happiness. I don't want to be the girl that you recommend not to date.
espera, someone will come! :)
Marisol Figueroa call me
Give me call
It's always good people our there, someone that will treat you well, not because you have a bad experiences before will be the same.
how did things turn around ? also the past has lessons to be learned, i'm in a relationship with someone who has problems with that, and i needed to pay the price, its good to heal and to know there are people out with red flags.
from both sides there can be red flags, just like my gf i'm leaving, too much drama and the good times were very good, but the bad times are taking so much toll on my lifeforce that i can't take it anymore.
i rather date and have fun and encounter the drama free person with the same good qualities, this is my 2nd girlfriend
and i learned a lot about females i shouldn't date, she was much better than my 1st girlfriend, so i expect my next to be
much better than this!, but its for our eyes to see..
A bus comes every 15 minutes a Good analogy!! So tired of the BS kind of friends/relationships.
Just block the phone number. End of story
quiksilver surfer😂😂😂😂
Then she calls my mom 😂🔫
quiksilver surfer i will do this im so tired and my life is all messed up with my wife she is totally a toxic liar cheater person ive ever known...
quiksilver surfer then they *67 ya... today easy to get around blocks sadly
If the woman is Borderline or mentally ill otherwise, that may not work. She may decide to stalk you or frame you to seem like an asshole woman beater or some shit
I’ve been listening to a lot of UA-cam vids since being dumped but this video really hit home and made me feel acceptance. As a woman, I need to hear it from the man’s point of view and realize that what we had didn’t work. You said it all and put things in my ex’s perspective. We both contributed to the failure of our relationship but I now can see why he did what he did. Thanks Corey.