Never thought about it like that and you’re so right. Like it’s attractive if you have a beer belly but not if you have a belly from birthing a whole child??
When I was 15 I was at a friend's house who has 6 siblings and one time we asked her father cheekily if he still found his wife attractive or if he preferred the state before giving birth to 7 kids. and being stupid and brainwashed from media we expected him to say something that she should try harder to look more like before but he just said that he thinks she is the most incredible and beautiful person he knows and that every stretchmark and extrabelly is part of her streghts of having him blessed with each of their kids. We had never seen her that way and I am so happy that he said that. It was so small but it had a huge impact on my view on myself as well
Pregnancy is hard, post-partum is harder. But we are not allowed to say a thing about it because we are being "ungratefull" and horrible mothers. I hate this world.
i dont know what else are they specting, taking complete care of another human being is not easy, of course you are going to have complains sometimes. anybody who has ever said that never had to wake up 7 times in one night to feed a baby
You ever feel like you need someone to say that to, who will listen, send me an email. Sometimes it's easier, taking to a stranger and knowing you're not going to be judged. ❤
@Smile Mahi everybody does. So many people have. I’m not even pregnant and someone called me a selfish idiot because I didn’t want children because of this reason 🪑✨
I'm so sad you have been made to feel this way. We have every right to feel the way we feel despite others. My babies are now adults, and I have grandbabies now, did I enjoy every moment of being pregnant hell no! I felt blessed because I had been told I couldn't fall pregnant but blessed or not, I did not enjoy every change to my body. My youngest is about to turn 31, I still hate that "belly overhang" which has remained regardless of my weight. The things I hated during and after pregnancy I had the right to hate, these things did not make me ungrateful by any means. I hope that you can begin to ignore the haters, to acknowledge your feelings as yours and accept there are good and bad days but mostly I hope that you have beautifuland supportive family and friends that can show you that it is not the whole world that is crap, just a handful that can't keep their opinions to themselves. Remember there are good days and bad days, days you will feel like super mum and days you feel like you can't cope as a mum but remember on the bad days that there will be the good days to help keep you going. Remember too that there is NO SHAME in seeking help!!! It doesn't mean you are a "bad mum" or a "failure" it simply means you have just hit a bit of a bump in your journey...........if your car broke down you would call for help, sometimes we breakdown and need to call for help to get us back on the road again. There are people who care and understand call on them 💕
I am so sick of hearing "that is an ugly mom body." We literally go through periods, menopause, and grow a human being inside of us. Of course we will gain weight and have stretch marks. Not to mention the physical pain we go through... We should be honored for literally creating a human being in our bodies, not shamed. I feel like as you get older creating life and respecting your body is way more worth having the love of a family than being scared to lose your old body
@Dirtdiver guess I meant respected, not honored. Yes it is natural but not everyone can reproduce and my point was women should be more respected (specifically those that shame pregnant women's post bodies). It's still a miracle IMO and while it's natural the physical burden falls on women 100% and it is a lot to go thru 💝
@Dirtdiver all good! We can have different opinions! 🥰 I always wanted to be a scientist when I was younger. Seems like such an exciting field to be in?
I had a miscarriage and it’s hard enough going through the loss but then almost embarrassed to be “ bloated” and not even having my baby to look forward to anymore..... thanks for the message a lot of us need to hear
Ah, Vanessa, I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your baby. I wish I could give you the biggest hugs! I've been there twice, so feel free to talk to me about it if you want.
I'm currently pregnant with my second child. My husband helped a lot with dealing with the post partum body. He always looks at my scar and says how wonderful it is, how powerful my body is. I'm so grateful.
Ur real lucky when i gained 20 lb and my boyfriend wouldnt touch me. I didnt even know he was like that until it happened we been together 7 years and i now know his true colors. Ive lost the weight and suddenly hes a different person. Fked up
My sister (who has 4 kids) always says that you shouldn’t worry about your weight till after you’re finished breastfeeding, especially for the first 6 months when milk is your baby’s only food source, because you need that fat to convert into milk.
That’s not how fat gets into the milk you get healthy fats in the milk with food you can exercise and have it not affect your milk at all your body’s fat has nothing to do with it just like breast size has nothing to do with how much milk you produce it all food and hydration
Even though people here in the comments already discussed that you don't necessarily need the fat to "convert into milk", it is still correct that you should be easy at your body while breastfeeding, because breastfeeding releases hormones that make the uterus shrink back to it's previous size. So, yes, there is a relation between breastfeeding and shape.
There's also Kate Middleton, who posed with her baby, full hair and makeup, outside the hospital after only a few hours. And she did that three times! It doesn't matter if it's a "royal tradition," that shit ain't normal! And to think that people got mad at Meghan Markle for not doing that! It's astounding.
It’s normal for the royal family, as you stated it is tradition. Normal women do not have access to the absolute best of the best, with stylists, hairdressers, makeup artists, probably private chef and everything a woman would need to look “put together” for the sake of tradition after giving birth. Just trying to put it into perspective, Kate and Meghan are average women dealing with post birth, with well above average resources.
@@msi8311 I agree that they are just normal people dealing with tradition and above average resources - but I think OP’s intent remains: tradition and resources aside, it’s not normal to perpetuate that all is well hours/days after giving birth. How society regards women in the postpartum period and the weird need to “bounce back” would be so different if we didn’t have people with the means and resources showing us how perfect they look a day after giving birth and setting that expectation for everyone else (and cis men, who have next to no idea what the body goes through in pregnancy/postpartum).
@@msi8311 Yeah, but their pregnancy/birth experience is likely very similar to the average woman; it's painful, and exhausting. Nobody should be asked to get up, dress up, then appear in front of a massive crowd of people within hours of birth. It's not reasonable at all, and it definitely perpetuates unrealistic standards for women after birth, who feel guilty for looking like they just gave birth, and for feeling exhausted and not being ready to get up and get at 'em.
When I gave birth I was up and about with my hair done and make up few hours after giving birth so I don't think you have to be royal or traditional. Each body is different, what's normal its normal but again, everyone is different. Every woman is different, one will be sat at home for 3 weeks without showering because of a very hard and painful postpartum and other woman will be like me, your body adjust but it can take from few hours to few months, even years
@@mariuszkonan5701 this is what I was coming to say. When mother had 3 of my brothers, it took her weeks to get back to even walking around. The story is, when she had me, she was up and about within a day and cut her maternity leave short because she felt ready to go back to work. Bodies are different, and pregnancies are different. Some pregnancies are more emotionally and physically taxing than others. And if the women have access to extra resources to get them back on track, let them do just that.
I think it’s so ridiculous that society expects women to “bounce back” or think that women’s body “ruin” from pregnancy. Our bodies changing during hormonal change and from growing a whole ass human inside us is just a natural process. Of course our skin is going to stretch and gain weight so that our little human inside us can get the nutrients. Idk I always thought women being expected to stay skinny or look model type is stupid but again, I have never been pregnant so I wouldn’t know until I become pregnant but as a woman, I feel pressure to “bounce back” should I get pregnant.
Exactly this!!!! Like how much pressure can we possibly have put on us?! Get pregnant, have healthy pregnancy, birth baby, immediately be skinny - it’s bloody ridiculous!
I haven't even been pregnant yet but it took me a year to get down to the size that I am right now and I still have that lower belly fat. So the fact that women have this insane pressure to look like their pre-pregnancy selves makes it look like having a child is not worth it to me
@@Abc-cp8me i don’t want to have children but if you really want to then you shouldn’t let what other people think or expect from you stop you from having kids if that’s the only reason stopping you
It’s totally judge mental men’s perspective who expect women to be sexy all the time, we see that and put it on ourselves. I’m learning to love myself the way I am ❤️ eat in moderation and workout to be healthy and strong, not look like I’m 17 years old 😌
If you are ever ashamed of that little "pooch", post, pre or without pregnancy, remember that it's your body's precious little shield of skin and fat to protect your uterus and ovaries and it's hardwired into your body to make it. Some women have bigger or smaller ones, but look at classical statues, old paintings, early camera pictures..... that pooch is beautiful ❤
Honestly thank you for this comment. No matter how thin I get, even when I was at my thinnest, I still had that “pooch”. This is a wonderful reminder that it’s normal. 🙌🏻👏🏼❤️
I’m 13 and I’m so glad I don’t follow influencers. Sometimes these things can get a bit overwhelming and toxic. I’m not saying I’m extremely confident but it’s not as bad as it was before because I don’t see their faces or bodies so there’s nothing to compare myself too.
As an 18 year old, keep it up girl! Stay away from social media. It’s done horrible things to my self-esteem and mental health as well. Keep yourself safe, stay away from it x
As a first time mom, I think there isn't enough emphasis on post partum recovery, we need more awareness on the subject. Society and health care providers need to provide all expectant mothers with more support, compassion, and access to mental health resources post delivery, not just during the cute pregnancy phase.
That's a great idea! That would be a great thing to suggest to and OBGYN or start a channel on it! My sister had a major tear, broken tailbone and a bunch of other horrible stuff. No one talks about it for good reason though...EVEN FEWER first world women would want to have babies.
Postpartum was soooo hard for me!!! I'm a FTM too, it was soooo hard!! My daughter is a little over a year old and only now do I feel back to myself pre pregnancy. And I have a lot of support but it was still SO ROUGH...!!! Omg!! Everyone focuses on the labour, but the postpartum kicked my ass for sure! BOTH MUMS AND DADS need this information coz whewwww
Yes! I'm 10 weeks pp and my (male) doctor this week suggested I think about losing weight. Dude, I'm a breast feeding single mum who is up all night with a baby. Let me have my chocolate without making me feel like 💩 that I'm not dropping kgs. Edited for typos
@@emjl6082 the unmitigated gall! Idk if professionals know how damaging recommendations like that are 😡. I’m breastfeeding too and most ppl imo truly have NO idea the sacrifice you’re making to give your child optimum health. Hang in there 🙏🏿
At this moment I am too scared to get pregnant and say "goodbye" to my old body, cause it took me 26 years to love it.. To think I am under society pressure to get a child the next years.. It's hard enough for a woman to go through puperty, pregnancy, menopause. It's hard to learn to love your body's over and over again.
i know the struggle with learning to love and the pressure, but it's our lives, bodies, decisions so we should stay strong in our minds and dont let others to influence us in such an important life-changing point, because it is not just about biology-clock, one needs to be prepared for baby mentally, not just physically. women, if you dont feel like want to have a baby, dont push yourself into it, not even because of your parents or partners. going against your happiness to fullfill someones expectation is not worth it. love yourself, enjoy your body and your peace of mind, let it be as long as you need it, take time, dont rush, this moment is unique, it ll never happen again as it is right now. you ll never be this age again, so live it now :)
If YOU want to have a baby, then do so, but don't do it due to society and peer pressure. Doing things you don't want just to fit in is only gonna make you miserable...
I feel the same. I am 26 and finally mostly comfortable in my body and now people around me start having kids and I am just afraid of "ruining" my body and having to start all over again
I actually wanted kids but health problems stopped me. I regret this terribly but on the other hand I'm so glad my body didnt get all torn up lol My mom is all scar tissue from ribcage to pelvis. So I got to stay all smooth skinned and my hips aren't stretched out. and it's not as good as a sweet baby but I'll enjoy it anyway lol
I mean your body is going to change and age no matter what, babies are worth it when you're older and not as attractive as your 25 year old self anyway
There is something else way dreadfully than body dismorphia and that is mental state,trust me,i had postpartum depression,and whole year passed and im still fighting with that,body dismorphia is little kitten...
I snapped back physically. Literally belly was back to normal within an hour of birth..... Did it make me happy... No. I suffered severe anxiety that is still a problem years later. My point is being happy within yourself is what matters... A flat tummy will not make you happy.
true, same experience with me. my body is exactly like it was before, no single stretchmark or loose skin anywhere, you literally can not tell Ive been pregnant. And oh, I would even say pregnancy gave me abs, Im not joking, I think it was those contractions but I have defined abs now, never worked out in my life, which I never had before. BUT my postnatal depression has never passed. my girl is turning 3 soon and I have still not totally accepted that I am a mom, it was not planned and involved many other traumatizing stuff but I have been mostly suicidal. Im jealous of people that love being moms and cant relate at all. be happy that this is not you
@@violetmushroom6 I hope you are feeling okay now. My 1st was also unplanned and I feel becoming a mum and suddenly feeling very vulnerable makes every tramatic/upsetting experience rise to the surface. And also I don't think any mum enjoys every bit of motherhood. I love my children to bits. But motherhood is by far the hardest thing I will ever do, so please go easy on yourself. Sorry for rambling, it's just so upsetting to hear another woman's had suicidal thoughts. ❤️
I want to agree but since gaining weight during covid, I’ve been feeling miserable now that I can’t fit into my clothes and I feel so ashamed to run into people for the fear of getting caught fat. Flat tummy won’t make you happy but it sure does wonders to your confidence
@@violetmushroom6 I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I'm not a mom, at least not yet, but I am here if you ever just need someone to talk to. No unwanted advice or anything, just an ear to listen. Please just know that you are not alone in this world and I care
As a sexual assault survivor, I didn’t realize how much pregnancy made me feel disconnected from my body the same way being sexually assaulted did!! The changes we go thru during pregnancy are uncontrollable. Even after giving birth it didn’t feel like it was my body anymore because I couldn’t control what was happening to it- and the changes were painful and scary!! It’s crazy how much our pregnancy and postpartum bodies can influence our mental states! I am finally beginning to feel more like myself now that my son is 9m old and I am slowing down breast feeding. But WOW. The last year and a half have been HARD on my mental state!!!
@@weaksupremacy3799Saying that is disgusting... . I also think sometimes only heterosexual men can be so cruel who have never known what sexual harassment feels like.
@Smile Mahi No, why would I? I am in happy relationship with one. I just think it is mainly heterosexual men that have an opinion on sexual harassment that is based on a lack of understanding because they have never experienced sexual harassment themselves. There is nothing worse than people who do not reflect on the privilege they have been granted.
@Smile Mahi Can I? Can I go out at night without pepper spray and male company? Can I have both children and a professional sports carrier? Don't I have to decide between spending time with my kids and the next promotion? That is the most unreflected statement I have ever heard.
I hated my body and myself for a year after my son was born. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without crying. This should be discussed more! And also, celebrities have pt, nutritionists and baby sitters, something a basic mom can't afford
Gorl don't listen to that stupid person ....it was NOT your fault ..I am so proud of you 👏 for bringing a life into this earth ..you are incredible ❤ and everyone has times when they feel insecure about something...so you are not alone for sure
@Smile Mahi I saw your reply on another comment ....you said "I hate stretch marks they are ugly, I will get them removed " Welp that is your fault then lmao 😃 and nobody asked you Thank you next
@Smile Mahi has no responds cause i caught them slipping : calls me trash for liking kpop lol issok ....i hope you can get happier.and dont worry even the skinniest person my cousin who is like' model thin has stretch marks cause she is really tall . even i have stretch marks even tho i am not anywhere close to being obese ...its very normal, anyways if you really wanna get it removed thats also your choice
Girl I'm the BIGGEST coward ever looool like I was afraid of needles and anything that causes pain.. still kind of am haha I'm a big baby! But one year ago after a whole day of labour at a birth centre, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl!! Naturally too...! I think God gave us women the innate ability to deal with the contractions and pushing. Should you decide to do it, YOU WILL!! But don't feel pressure all the same..! I'm just letting you know that it's so doable.. not easy at all but doable. And I felt like such a badass after looool.
They aren't "real men", my husband has never once fat shamed me, he has called me beautiful on a daily basis after I had our child (and before). Never once said anything negative about my body while I was (I still am) trying to lose weight or tried to make me lose the weight. Not all men are bad men, not all men are "real men" though.
Exactly! I’m pregnant and my husband loves that I’m growing and getting bigger to grow his child. He thinks it’s so beautiful! He’s a great man and loves God. 🤍
It’s not like these men have never seen mothers before. If they’re fatphobic and treat women poorly when the women gain weight then it’s on the men and they’re misogynists.
Men should also watch this seriously Like imagine you trying to accept your post-partum body and your ignorant husband expect you to look like a virgin bcs some ladies on the internet could get absolute beautiful body right after giving birth
@@dietapferetrantute7679 That's very good! Good on you for educating yourself to not put extra stress on your family or loved ones. It will be very appreciated
It’s been 2 years since I had my 3rd child. My body has changed so much since becoming a mom. There are days where I really hate how I look, but my husband always makes me feel so attractive and desirable. Don’t let the media make you feel worthless.
I'm pregnant right now and learning all about what actually happens postpartum to your body! And these Insta women pretend like they are somehow superhuman and immune to all the icky (but natural) things that happen after birth! I've stopped following all of them and you should too!
One thing one ever told me that after the baby you have to deliver the placenta, oh and that if you breastfeed you will have contractions for a while u feed ur baby.
So personally I never EVER want babies... but wow. Massive respect to all moms. Y’all queens deserve more credit for the miracle of life. Damn awesome.
Never had children, don’t plan on it. But I’m a HUGE advocate for supporting the natural process the female body endures during and post pregnancy. Like you said it’s magical! This video needs to be seen by every single woman
I had my first child when I was 21 in 1995. We didn’t have the internet to see how everyone looked after birth. Also no talked about it. I was so surprised the first time I saw my belly after birth. I thought it would be gone lol. I looked 4-5 months pregnant and it felt like jello. Y’all are lucky to have so much information these days. I knew nothing. The day we came home from the hospital I took a hot bath. I leaned back and closed my eyes. My husband walked in and said what are doing? Huh? I looked down and milk was just squirting out of me like a busted shower head lol. It was funny.
I'm not pregnant just chubby and my husbands pats my little tummy subconsciously all the time and mutters under his breath "cute little belly" and it kinda made me feel better about it. Like i know if i do have a baby one day he will he really supportive and loving of my body.
tammy was also super active for years before having her child so of course it was much easier for her body to bounce back. she already built up so much muscle before hand.
Agreed, also genes play a big role. I was very active during my first pregnancy, exercised regularly, weights, swimming, yoga. Yet, I still gained 28kgs and I did NOT bounce back. I also became way less active, because when the choice was sleeping or exercising... I chose sleep hie hie
@@sandradique1806 Yep, I didn't exercise during pregnancy, nor after, I don't have a great diet, and I "bounced back" quickly. I'm not super slim or muscular but I'm just kind of slim/average. Just lucky 🤷
I’m a young mum. Had an emergency c section with my identical twin boys and I literally remember the day I looked in the hospital mirror going toilet, saw the over hang of my mummy pouch and just broke down. I repeatedly said “I’m only 19 why does my body have to look like this.” I hit the 3 digits with my weight (during and after pregnancy.) it’s been over a year since I’ve had my twin boys and I’m still in the 3 digits. I have constant breakdowns about it, I’m literally at my heaviest I’ve ever been at it sucks!!! But, I do remind myself that I carried twins and that in itself is an accomplishment. Not along of twin pregnancies succeed some mums lose one or lose both. Some Mums have their twins but are faced with many complications afterwards and thankfully I never have. I always talk negatively about my body but literally my body is a fking gem for carrying my boys almost full term and kept them nice and safe! #blessed. To any other mums out there struggling with their after body of pregnancy, you’re not alone and it’s ok 💛 you carried a whole ass HUMAN!!!! BE PROUD OF YOU AND YOUR BODY💛💛💛✨
Literally crying rn because I hate my postpartum body. Its been almost 2 years since having my baby. It’s so hard not fitting in my clothes and seeing other people just look like postpartum was so easy. Also it’s really hard seeing other people loving their postpartum body and I don’t understand why I hate mine. I love my daughter so much, she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I think your video helped a little bit though. Thanks for spreading love and helping others find beauty in their new bodies. It really is a journey 🤍
I’m so terrified of having kids because of birth and post partum. Thank you for normalising normal bodies, feelings, and experiences and helping women be open and feel comfortable with themselves. X
Giving birth can be a very positive and powerful experience. No need to be afraid, just do your homework and make sure you have a Dr or midwife that you really trust.
Giving birth is different for everyone. I was lucky enough to have a peaceful home birth and it was a wonderful experience. I had a lot of abdominal surgeries in the past, 3 emergency surgeries that were life and death, so I’ve had a lot of experience of pain so childbirth was actually much less painful than I was expecting, you just have to relax (which can be hard to do while in pain, especially if you’re not used to it). But I never even felt the need to go to the hospital because I was able to just relax and envision my body stretching open with each contraction and just embracing the stretch. Fear is probably the thing that makes many births so difficult. If you tense up, you will be fighting the process and it will hurt more and take longer. When I was in postpartum, I just didn’t care what I looked like. It felt like I was in another temporary body and my baby was my priority. Till you’re done breastfeeding, you shouldn’t be trying to lose weight because your body turns your fat into milk. My son ate lots so I was back to pre-pregnancy weight in 3 months and in 6 months I was 10 lbs under (he was a big eater). But everyone is different and every pregnancy is different. A friend of mine with 4 kids lost her weight almost immediately with every boy she had, but with her daughter it took her 2 years.
@@lucygoosie7726 thank you for sharing! 💖 It's important to hear the positive birth stories, especially in a culture that only tells the negative. Thinking positively won't guarantee a good birth, but thinking it will be the worst and most painful experience ever will guarantee that you experience more fear and more pain.
Us women NEED to remember .... we actually performed a miracle! We are strong, determined, resilient, beautiful and truly amazing. Hooray to being an awesome human being 🌟👏🌟👏🌟👏🌟
I'm a nurse and pregnant with our second. I had to have an emergency c-section, too, and had the EXACT moment of seeing the 'pooch' for the first time and would endlessly cry. Hearing you say you experienced this made me want to cry in relief that we're not alone because I thought "Maybe if I was skinnier, I wouldn't have this."
My son will be 25 next month. I'm still learning to love my body. I've had such a struggle with depression from stretch marks over the years. It's a journey.
me watching this entire video even though I've never had a baby and am not pregnant 😂 I just really like hearing your perspective on things, it's so refreshing to see people be real on the internet!
@You can't leave this empty you go girl not many women have the courage to do what you did especially in my country a lot of them think they will become a disgrace to their families and a lot of them get abandoned by their loved ones
Same!! I think of those moms who have 2 children but the children do have years apart. I get curious about women who have stitches cause I think can the dick later on enter again? 😂😂
I've decided that if I ever have a c section, I would get a tattoo to make the scar look like a flower bed. After all, it WAS obtained creating a life! Mamas in general are hardcore
Mine is pretty low, I can hardly see it anymore..cool idea, but I have 7 tattoos in different areas and there is zero chance I'd get a tattoo on my vagaygay
As someone who struggles with body image, after pregnancy I was terrified of my body. I sunk into PPD after having my child and to this day (2years after having my beautiful baby) I’m learning to love and respect my body for everything’s it’s gone through. My body made a miracle, it deserves more respect than social media gives it credit for.
I am 38, married for 10 years, and we never ever want kids...yet still watch every one of these videos! It’s a great series and you can tell from the responses that it’s helping so many people.
It’s important just as a woman to watch. Because maybe sometimes we might make an inappropriate comment by mistake. Or this can highlight the issue so if we hear someone else be mean we can end that.
What gets me, men never comment to me, on my body but every woman I know has told me “wow, you don’t look like you’ve had 7 babies.” It’s women judging women.
@@anonomous8649 men will say mean shit about me and other women right to my face 😂😂😂 but I agree that women tend to be more passive aggressive. My experience with women is that they will say shit about you to your back or online
I’ve heard men literally cherry pick studies that say women should bounce back after birth and if a woman doesn’t she’s lazy and doing something wrong. It’s definitely not just women
If I could like this a 1000 times, I would. No baby, no boyfriend, but you're real, you're honest, you're kind and you're drop dead gorgeous inside and out. Thank you so much for this.
@@stephanielange thank you, I'm excited but I am super insecure in this body and knowing it's going to get worse is scary... These videos truly help. Thank you love!
@@RealtorMandy I have a 3 month old. First and only baby. My body completely changed. But you know what? Idgaf! I created a beautiful human being that is my sunshine and the greatest thing I have ever done and experienced. It takes a couple of months to get into a routine and tgen you will be able to create for a workout schedule. It takes 9 months for your body to change so give yourself 9 months to get back to where you are comfortable.
My body is so screwed up after having my daughter and you have been such an inspiration to me to just love myself and my new body. I am proud to have been able to carry my daughter but the media definitely makes it seem like you should’ve be thin straight away and have not a stretch mark to be seen. It is so refreshing watching an influencer talk about what’s it’s really like!! 💞💞💞
it breaks my heart when I hear women say “ruined” my body from having kids. I’m not a mother and I have never been pregnant but there’s nothing ruined about you from growing human inside you. If you think about it, isn’t it amazing that another human being was made by your body? Of course, your body is working meticulously hard to put every cells together and binding DNA’s to make a living breathing conscious thing inside you. It’s like magic to me and I think it’s amazing that human body/a woman can do that. So no your body is not “ruined”. Your body worked hard to make a human being and the scars and shapes you got from giving birth is your battle scars. As a woman who has never been pregnant, I always am amazed how you women produce another life.
Plus: Those fitness influencers might have struggled with their self image just as everyone else! They are perpetuating these unrealistic standards but they too are victims of the patriarchal society!
I mean u can do what makes u happy. But don’t u just wanna sit dow and enjoy the fact that u BIRTHED A HUMAN. Just remember u don’t NEED to bounce back, but still do whatever makes j happy. If that routine makes u happy, by all means go for it (guessing it doesn’t affect ur health)
Or they may have actually been really really in shape and healthy prior to pregnancy, had the fortune of a healthy pregnancy and continued to work just as hard with exercising and maintaining healthy nutrition through pregnancy, which then enabled their bodies to heal rapidly and “bounce back”. Shaming a woman for the way her body looks post partum is toxic any way you slice it, “bounce back” or not.
Always the blame on the so called patriarchy. How about the women who bully each other based on how they look. They can't always use the patriarchy as an excuse to being a terrible person.
That’s really true. My friend competed in a few bikini competitions, and asked me how I was dealing with my new body. I told her I was fine but I know where she was getting at because she has extreme anxiety when she’s bloated etc. she also has trouble with her period, and hormones all off from being so “fit” for the competitions. It’s really sad. I’d rather be average than anxious about my weight 24/7
It is generally not men tearing down women who have babies. It is other women... I am not saying there are no rude men in the world, obviously there are, but usually when there is aggressive, nasty, mean energy directed towards a woman it comes from another woman. Particularly over the matter of appearance. Women are obsessed with comparing and criticizing bodies, not men. Most guys can happily accept the same flaws that women tear each other down about. Sad but true.
As a woman I understand the beauty standards we fight against and despite never wanting to give birth naturally (barely want kids but I if do id prefer to adopt) I'd feel like an absolute warrior after birth. My body just produces another being being. Nobody could tell me anything. 💁🏾♀️
Not to be that guy but most of your stretch marks show up after birth. I know mine did. I thought I had done so well with my 2nd pregnancy because I got no stretch marks during pregnancy (I have Uber stretchy skin naturally) and then after I had her I had tons. But I have come to terms with all of it. They fade after time. Like steph says just love them. They are what you got from creating your little bundle. ❤❤❤
@@nikkia326 yeah I was using it for the majority of my pregnancy once they actually started to appear it ran out and it’s been sold out at my local drug stores so I’m just trying to embrace it at this point 😅 xx
Me growing up: I'm never baring children Me after turning 24 and having a long-term boyfriend: maybe one day I can have 2 kids to carry out my family name Me after this video: D: ... time to reconsider again!
@@virgorisingtheory I mean, yes and no. I don’t really want to give birth to kids myself but would consider possibly. And it’s have to be a boyfriend because I’m against marriage.
It all depends on genetics more than anything I’m pregnant with my fifth and I have been back to my pre pregnancy body by about 3 weeks after birth with all of my kids and breastfeeding helps a lot because it help your uterus go back down quicker. I’m very lucky that my genetics allow my body to do that.
Exactly. I gained after pregnancy (only gained 13 pounds on average each time pregnant, I ate like a pig tho). I walked a ton. My sister gained a ton of weight, had baby. Within a couple weeks she was thin again. No exercise.
I tell my friends all the time they need to curb their enthusiasm when it comes to “snap back”. Recovering from pregnancy can sometimes take like 2 years. You just won’t know how your body will react or what complications you’ll have during pregnancy or delivery or postpartum until it happens. And this includes a lot more than just “my stomach is flat again”
My husband and I are trying for a baby and it's so hard to navigate what's realistic, ideal, and straight up fake. I really appreciate this video. Thank you, Stephanie!
I never hated my body after any of my boys, BUT, this made me cry. I still can't believe I did it. It was ROUGH. Three vaginal births with faulty epidurals. And my body kicked ass. HOW?! Idek. But ffs, we do all need to love ourselves. I'm really good at ignoring/feeling disdain for the media telling me how to look, so luckily I didn't feel that pressure. But I don't give myself enough credit, regardless, none of us do. BECAUSE we're fighting off negative thoughts, I imagine. Thank you so much for doing this, and sharing all your journey.
Beautiful video! My children are 11 and 7, and my body still doesn’t look the way it did pre-babies, and that’s fine with me because I’m absolutely LOVING my more curvy body and I feel so sexy in it!! 💜💜💜💜
I feel lucky that most of my women friends have this attitude and are so supportive of one another. It's hard, though when your partner says all of these things, but his actions tell another story😭
Men can’t control attraction. Don’t sweat it. A real man will grow to accept and love the changes but it would take time. At the end of the day, the most important things is not if a man is attracted to you anyways (you’ll grow old and not so pleasing one day lol): the most important thing is that a man loves you, for love doesn’t care about what you look like. See?
@You can't leave this empty he hasn’t shown up as in like... he’s not in your life? I know this will sound crazy, but if you mean emotionally, sit down and talk girl. You don’t know, your man might appreciate your help in conquering his struggle to accept change and avoid lust. It is possible believe me. My partner is proof that men love more than exterior. The thing is, it’s hard to love someone because they look pretty, you know? There has to be more. Of course, if you mean finding someone new, they won’t feel this initially. First it’s attraction. Then they’ll find they love your personality. Then your personality will make you prettier than your appearance ever could. My man says my looks are 1 percent of why he is with me, although when we first met they were a large factor. And sometimes you’ll have to confront problems when change occurs but that’s expected. It takes some getting used to when something you adored (because it’s the body of someone you love, not because it’s a nice looking body mind you) adapts to something new. They’ll appreciate it over time.
After years of trying we finally did ivf and got pregnant on the first cycle. I loved my pregnancy body and i still love it now. I was told i would never get pregnant, that it was impossible. My body made a miracle for me, and for her, ill take syrech marks and a pooch 😂
I know I sounded negative but I just remember the struggles after giving birth. I never forgot like many other women seem to do. It takes time to get back in shape and accept yourself but after a while you do
I wish more people did these videos! I know I needed this when I had my 2 kids. My son is about to 13 in December & after I had him i was so down on myself for not looking the way I did before. I lost all the baby weight & then I got pregnant with our daughter who just turned 7 in September. I for a long time wondered why I can't get rid of the changes on my body without surgery like the celebrities... now I know they are my battle wounds of life & proud of it all.
I’m 3 years post pregnancy and my csection has made my stomach wonky! First child was normal delivery, 5 years after our second arrived through emergency csection. And I’m still not back to where I would like to be. Thank you for highlighting this to new mums. Especially as a csection mum can feel horrible about their body, I still do. My scar isn’t level, it’s uncomfortable and numb in places. Yet I look at my 3 year old and see that without that scar me and her wouldn’t be here. Thank you
I am 18 and pregnant and have had major self confidence issues with my body before and after and now through my pregnancy I have been able to accept and love my pregnant body with all the stretch marks and saggy ness.This video was very inspiring and I am very happy and I love the messages you are putting out into this world.
I’m 16 months pp and my stomach muscles still feel weak at times. I also ... for the first time the other day sneezed and peed alittle 😭 all the other mothers around me all just said “ yup , it’s going to happen more too “
Those kegels are not a joke. Women take them for granted. Once the muscles are gone it's not coming back so work on them even if you're not having kids.
I've had a hysterectomy so the way you're feeling with some numbness from your incision does feel weird, but the nerves are trying to repair themselves and it's perfectly normal Stephanie. I love to watch your videos because you're one of the few who keep it 100%!!!
I've never had a baby, but I know people who "bounced back" because of good genes, and brag about it and I absolutely hate it. It makes other women who didn't, feel so bad about themselves, like they did something wrong, when in reality that other person just was fortunate to be born with those genes. I wish they would stop. Take credit for bouncing back if you exercised or ate healthy, but if you did nothing, just were lucky, then shut up
Sounds like someone knows they probably won’t bounce back. We should celebrate every woman’s journey into motherhood and just because they bounce back while others don’t doesn’t mean they should shut up about it. We don’t tell those who can’t bounce back to shut up we encourage and just because the body bounces back doesn’t mean the mind does. Get a life lmao
I really needed to see this. I’m around three weeks postpartum with my third child after my third c section. I ended up getting extensive DVT blood clots and I’ve been really hating how my body looks. This is the kind of conversation we need to have about what real bodies are like.
Thank you for this 💕 I’ve been struggling with my postpartum body and seeing your posts with you not flexing your stomach have really helped me realize not all women bounce back to their pre-baby body. I really appreciate you sharing the real side of your life 💕
Most woman don’t bounce back, and even if they do, some might still have stretch marks or loose skin, but there’s nothing wrong with that! We’re amazing! 😍❤️
Needed this more than I thought I did clearly, since it literally made me cry 😂 almost 10 months PP and still at least 2 sizes bigger than I was before I was pregnant, and this made me feel a bit better about it. So thank you ❤
A birth scar should not be anything to be ashamed of. It's something to be proud of. You created a human life! And your body is equipped to take care of that new life.
@YoungL To the limit that we have "Free will", although there is no such thing...We "Choose" to create life, even though there isn't much of a choice. We can only do what we end up doing.
Age makes a difference too. My mom had my brother when she was 19. Dad says for months she didn't even look pregnant and then I saw pictures of her in a bikini 2 months after giving birth - no belly, NOTHING! Can't imagine it being the same at 25-35..
There is so much to be said for being real and sharing it with others. There is so much personal power in that, and that then becomes naturally attractive.
"I think stretchmarks are cool." I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would have a anxiety attack if I said those words to her... especially as she's not pregnant.
@@juicysatsumabeauty Yep, I'm aware, but this video is about life after pregnancy... and my point was how my girl would feel if I said "stretchmarks are cool" in any case would not go well.
Yeah I would avoid saying that if you think it might upset her. I feel the same way. I now have little white ones which for me is ok now. But I had massive 1cm intermittent stripes up and now my tummy for a year. It was really upsetting. It takes ages for them to get better it seems. It's okay to hate your body and be sad about it. Hearing a ton of toxic positivity shoved down your throat is unhelpful when you are unhappy.
My boyfriend loved me before and after pregnancy and now as a mother who gave birth to his best friend❤️ I’m so grateful for him, our baby, and my body that was able to make us a family🥰
This makes me feel so much better. I've had 2 children and after I had my daughter in 2018 I just remember standing in front of the mirror and feeling disgusting and sobbing. I went into a serious eating disorder after and was 20 lbs underweight and still wasn't happy with my body. I never understood it but now I'm at a healthy weight and still struggling to accept how I look 2 years since giving birth. Thank you so much!
I love how body positive and pro-women you are. Watching you has helped me not to compare myself to others so much. You're an amazing woman and I have such deep respect for you.
Your postpartum body is beautiful Steph!!! So are all the other women in the photos. Our bodies are truly magical!!! Give them the love they deserve. ♥
I applaud pregnant women. It looks scary to me to have this huuuge belly with something alive in it. Then you have to go through nausea, leaking, pain, visual body changes, lack of sleep, and mORe. Respect.
I'm 5 weeks pregnant 🥰 Im so glad i found this Channel.. im creating another human being?? Unbelivable🤗 Ill let my body go thru all the changes it needs..and thanks to this channel I know better than to hate or judge my body during this beautiful journey🥰🥰
I love this so much!! Ty!! I’ve had 5 babes. 2natural/2ceserean (twins w/1csection) I know my belly will never look the same as it did before babies and I’m really ok with that.. My babies are so worth it!! They are my world!!
Stephanie Lange, you deserve your own television show to get your messages out to the masses! Actually, I should amend that statement to say: SOCIETY really needs you to have your own television show so your message can better reach the masses! THANK YOU for being such a great source of information and inspiration! -an American chick
Thank you for making this video! I’m currently 3 months pp and I’ve been so hard on myself for not recovering immediately like all the models on ig...You look gorgeous by the way 🤗 All moms are superheroes ❤️
To be honest, I went flat again. Tummy muscles. I was basically flat, people were in awe. This was 1st and 2nd. Got pregnant 4 months after 1st and still went back down straight away.
It’s so ironic, how „dad bods“ are more normalised than mom bodies.
Well mom bodies aren’t just extra weight, but I agree both should be “normalized”.
Damn, you’re so right!
Never thought about it like that and you’re so right. Like it’s attractive if you have a beer belly but not if you have a belly from birthing a whole child??
For realsies
Oof true
When I was 15 I was at a friend's house who has 6 siblings and one time we asked her father cheekily if he still found his wife attractive or if he preferred the state before giving birth to 7 kids. and being stupid and brainwashed from media we expected him to say something that she should try harder to look more like before but he just said that he thinks she is the most incredible and beautiful person he knows and that every stretchmark and extrabelly is part of her streghts of having him blessed with each of their kids. We had never seen her that way and I am so happy that he said that. It was so small but it had a huge impact on my view on myself as well
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I could cry 🥺🥺
OH MY GOD, what a wonderful man and father! 🥺❤
😭😭😭😭
Awww🥺🥺
There are some young men in the world who could benefit from seeing this video.
And plenty of older ones, too.
Exactly!
Right??
Damn fricking straight
all men would benefit
Pregnancy is hard, post-partum is harder. But we are not allowed to say a thing about it because we are being "ungratefull" and horrible mothers. I hate this world.
i dont know what else are they specting, taking complete care of another human being is not easy, of course you are going to have complains sometimes. anybody who has ever said that never had to wake up 7 times in one night to feed a baby
Be yourself and don't worry about what the world might have to say.
You ever feel like you need someone to say that to, who will listen, send me an email. Sometimes it's easier, taking to a stranger and knowing you're not going to be judged. ❤
@Smile Mahi everybody does. So many people have. I’m not even pregnant and someone called me a selfish idiot because I didn’t want children because of this reason 🪑✨
I'm so sad you have been made to feel this way. We have every right to feel the way we feel despite others. My babies are now adults, and I have grandbabies now, did I enjoy every moment of being pregnant hell no! I felt blessed because I had been told I couldn't fall pregnant but blessed or not, I did not enjoy every change to my body. My youngest is about to turn 31, I still hate that "belly overhang" which has remained regardless of my weight. The things I hated during and after pregnancy I had the right to hate, these things did not make me ungrateful by any means. I hope that you can begin to ignore the haters, to acknowledge your feelings as yours and accept there are good and bad days but mostly I hope that you have beautifuland supportive family and friends that can show you that it is not the whole world that is crap, just a handful that can't keep their opinions to themselves. Remember there are good days and bad days, days you will feel like super mum and days you feel like you can't cope as a mum but remember on the bad days that there will be the good days to help keep you going. Remember too that there is NO SHAME in seeking help!!! It doesn't mean you are a "bad mum" or a "failure" it simply means you have just hit a bit of a bump in your journey...........if your car broke down you would call for help, sometimes we breakdown and need to call for help to get us back on the road again. There are people who care and understand call on them 💕
I am so sick of hearing "that is an ugly mom body." We literally go through periods, menopause, and grow a human being inside of us. Of course we will gain weight and have stretch marks. Not to mention the physical pain we go through... We should be honored for literally creating a human being in our bodies, not shamed. I feel like as you get older creating life and respecting your body is way more worth having the love of a family than being scared to lose your old body
@Dirtdiver guess I meant respected, not honored. Yes it is natural but not everyone can reproduce and my point was women should be more respected (specifically those that shame pregnant women's post bodies). It's still a miracle IMO and while it's natural the physical burden falls on women 100% and it is a lot to go thru 💝
Also congratulations! Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy 💕
@Dirtdiver all good! We can have different opinions! 🥰 I always wanted to be a scientist when I was younger. Seems like such an exciting field to be in?
@Dirtdiver The comparison that you made is not correct. Pregnancy is not the same as a 200kg person trying to loss weight lol
💗💗💗💗💗💗
I'm not even pregnant, never was and I don't even have a boyfriend but still very interesting 😊
Love this 😄❤️
Me neither 😂
Same
Same. But I find it also helped me because I often gain weight after exams period.
Same here!! 🤣
I had a miscarriage and it’s hard enough going through the loss but then almost embarrassed to be “ bloated” and not even having my baby to look forward to anymore..... thanks for the message a lot of us need to hear
Sorry for your loss
@@frimlee7273 me too I miss my baby... and thank you for your words of condolence ❤️
Ah, Vanessa, I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your baby. I wish I could give you the biggest hugs! I've been there twice, so feel free to talk to me about it if you want.
@@kittiewoodheath4140 thank you for your kind support I really do appreciate it and I’ll take you up on that offer 💕
Sending you so much love Vanessa
I'm currently pregnant with my second child. My husband helped a lot with dealing with the post partum body. He always looks at my scar and says how wonderful it is, how powerful my body is. I'm so grateful.
Amazing!!!!
My boyfriend would be the same. It's the one thing that encourages me to get pregnant.
😍😍😍😍
❤️❤️❤️
Ur real lucky when i gained 20 lb and my boyfriend wouldnt touch me. I didnt even know he was like that until it happened we been together 7 years and i now know his true colors. Ive lost the weight and suddenly hes a different person. Fked up
My sister (who has 4 kids) always says that you shouldn’t worry about your weight till after you’re finished breastfeeding, especially for the first 6 months when milk is your baby’s only food source, because you need that fat to convert into milk.
God bless your sister.
That’s not how fat gets into the milk you get healthy fats in the milk with food you can exercise and have it not affect your milk at all your body’s fat has nothing to do with it just like breast size has nothing to do with how much milk you produce it all food and hydration
Maybe if you in ketosis or starving. If you eat normally, your body won't even get a chance to tap into that fat storage.
Yeah, currently breastfeeding my third and as always there is not much fat on me, but plenty of milk. It's a myth you need fat to produce milk.
Even though people here in the comments already discussed that you don't necessarily need the fat to "convert into milk", it is still correct that you should be easy at your body while breastfeeding, because breastfeeding releases hormones that make the uterus shrink back to it's previous size. So, yes, there is a relation between breastfeeding and shape.
There's also Kate Middleton, who posed with her baby, full hair and makeup, outside the hospital after only a few hours. And she did that three times! It doesn't matter if it's a "royal tradition," that shit ain't normal! And to think that people got mad at Meghan Markle for not doing that! It's astounding.
It’s normal for the royal family, as you stated it is tradition. Normal women do not have access to the absolute best of the best, with stylists, hairdressers, makeup artists, probably private chef and everything a woman would need to look “put together” for the sake of tradition after giving birth. Just trying to put it into perspective, Kate and Meghan are average women dealing with post birth, with well above average resources.
@@msi8311 I agree that they are just normal people dealing with tradition and above average resources - but I think OP’s intent remains: tradition and resources aside, it’s not normal to perpetuate that all is well hours/days after giving birth. How society regards women in the postpartum period and the weird need to “bounce back” would be so different if we didn’t have people with the means and resources showing us how perfect they look a day after giving birth and setting that expectation for everyone else (and cis men, who have next to no idea what the body goes through in pregnancy/postpartum).
@@msi8311 Yeah, but their pregnancy/birth experience is likely very similar to the average woman; it's painful, and exhausting. Nobody should be asked to get up, dress up, then appear in front of a massive crowd of people within hours of birth. It's not reasonable at all, and it definitely perpetuates unrealistic standards for women after birth, who feel guilty for looking like they just gave birth, and for feeling exhausted and not being ready to get up and get at 'em.
When I gave birth I was up and about with my hair done and make up few hours after giving birth so I don't think you have to be royal or traditional.
Each body is different, what's normal its normal but again, everyone is different.
Every woman is different, one will be sat at home for 3 weeks without showering because of a very hard and painful postpartum and other woman will be like me, your body adjust but it can take from few hours to few months, even years
@@mariuszkonan5701 this is what I was coming to say. When mother had 3 of my brothers, it took her weeks to get back to even walking around. The story is, when she had me, she was up and about within a day and cut her maternity leave short because she felt ready to go back to work. Bodies are different, and pregnancies are different. Some pregnancies are more emotionally and physically taxing than others. And if the women have access to extra resources to get them back on track, let them do just that.
I think it’s so ridiculous that society expects women to “bounce back” or think that women’s body “ruin” from pregnancy. Our bodies changing during hormonal change and from growing a whole ass human inside us is just a natural process. Of course our skin is going to stretch and gain weight so that our little human inside us can get the nutrients. Idk I always thought women being expected to stay skinny or look model type is stupid but again, I have never been pregnant so I wouldn’t know until I become pregnant but as a woman, I feel pressure to “bounce back” should I get pregnant.
Exactly this!!!! Like how much pressure can we possibly have put on us?! Get pregnant, have healthy pregnancy, birth baby, immediately be skinny - it’s bloody ridiculous!
I haven't even been pregnant yet but it took me a year to get down to the size that I am right now and I still have that lower belly fat. So the fact that women have this insane pressure to look like their pre-pregnancy selves makes it look like having a child is not worth it to me
Fuck society your husband loves you thats more than enough
@@Abc-cp8me i don’t want to have children but if you really want to then you shouldn’t let what other people think or expect from you stop you from having kids if that’s the only reason stopping you
It’s totally judge mental men’s perspective who expect women to be sexy all the time, we see that and put it on ourselves. I’m learning to love myself the way I am ❤️ eat in moderation and workout to be healthy and strong, not look like I’m 17 years old 😌
If you are ever ashamed of that little "pooch", post, pre or without pregnancy, remember that it's your body's precious little shield of skin and fat to protect your uterus and ovaries and it's hardwired into your body to make it. Some women have bigger or smaller ones, but look at classical statues, old paintings, early camera pictures..... that pooch is beautiful ❤
Honestly thank you for this comment. No matter how thin I get, even when I was at my thinnest, I still had that “pooch”. This is a wonderful reminder that it’s normal. 🙌🏻👏🏼❤️
Yes!!
While I agree the pooch is beautiful, society and social media doesn’t not agree 😔
This 🙌🏻
I respected Katy Perry so much for posting that picture, she showed what giving birth and taking care of a baby looks like. Much respect to you too.
Wait what I didn’t even know she was pregnant lol is she married do we know who the father is? Apparently I’m living under a rock
@@thaliakalli4207 The father is her husband Orlando Bloom.
KATY PERRY HAS CHILDREN!!!??
@@elisabethdahle6469 yup, she had a daughter with Orlando Bloom a little while ago. ;)
@@netajones2098 omg how did i miss this😧
I’m 13 and I’m so glad I don’t follow influencers. Sometimes these things can get a bit overwhelming and toxic. I’m not saying I’m extremely confident but it’s not as bad as it was before because I don’t see their faces or bodies so there’s nothing to compare myself too.
Good for you!! I'm 23, I hardly go on Instagram or fb. I love my body! Love what God gave ya 😁
Same and i'm a teen too!
Good I don't have anything except snap.. which some stories on there are still toxic to body image
As an 18 year old, keep it up girl! Stay away from social media. It’s done horrible things to my self-esteem and mental health as well. Keep yourself safe, stay away from it x
That's really wise. Watch only adults online that could help you mentally. Filter everything you see.
As a first time mom, I think there isn't enough emphasis on post partum recovery, we need more awareness on the subject. Society and health care providers need to provide all expectant mothers with more support, compassion, and access to mental health resources post delivery, not just during the cute pregnancy phase.
That's a great idea! That would be a great thing to suggest to and OBGYN or start a channel on it! My sister had a major tear, broken tailbone and a bunch of other horrible stuff. No one talks about it for good reason though...EVEN FEWER first world women would want to have babies.
Legit why we had midwives. Unfortunately men wanted to be drs, so they got rid of them and most of their knowledge
Postpartum was soooo hard for me!!! I'm a FTM too, it was soooo hard!! My daughter is a little over a year old and only now do I feel back to myself pre pregnancy. And I have a lot of support but it was still SO ROUGH...!!! Omg!! Everyone focuses on the labour, but the postpartum kicked my ass for sure! BOTH MUMS AND DADS need this information coz whewwww
Yes! I'm 10 weeks pp and my (male) doctor this week suggested I think about losing weight. Dude, I'm a breast feeding single mum who is up all night with a baby. Let me have my chocolate without making me feel like 💩 that I'm not dropping kgs.
Edited for typos
@@emjl6082 the unmitigated gall! Idk if professionals know how damaging recommendations like that are 😡. I’m breastfeeding too and most ppl imo truly have NO idea the sacrifice you’re making to give your child optimum health. Hang in there 🙏🏿
At this moment I am too scared to get pregnant and say "goodbye" to my old body, cause it took me 26 years to love it.. To think I am under society pressure to get a child the next years.. It's hard enough for a woman to go through puperty, pregnancy, menopause. It's hard to learn to love your body's over and over again.
i know the struggle with learning to love and the pressure, but it's our lives, bodies, decisions so we should stay strong in our minds and dont let others to influence us in such an important life-changing point, because it is not just about biology-clock, one needs to be prepared for baby mentally, not just physically. women, if you dont feel like want to have a baby, dont push yourself into it, not even because of your parents or partners. going against your happiness to fullfill someones expectation is not worth it. love yourself, enjoy your body and your peace of mind, let it be as long as you need it, take time, dont rush, this moment is unique, it ll never happen again as it is right now. you ll never be this age again, so live it now :)
Then don’t have children. Lmao
If YOU want to have a baby, then do so, but don't do it due to society and peer pressure. Doing things you don't want just to fit in is only gonna make you miserable...
I feel the same. I am 26 and finally mostly comfortable in my body and now people around me start having kids and I am just afraid of "ruining" my body and having to start all over again
I actually wanted kids but health problems stopped me. I regret this terribly but on the other hand I'm so glad my body didnt get all torn up lol
My mom is all scar tissue from ribcage to pelvis. So I got to stay all smooth skinned and my hips aren't stretched out. and it's not as good as a sweet baby but I'll enjoy it anyway lol
honestly the more i hear about how much ur body changes after pregnancy, the less i wanna do it lol
😅😅 your body is forever going through changes. With or without babies. I feel you though.
Same.
I mean your body is going to change and age no matter what, babies are worth it when you're older and not as attractive as your 25 year old self anyway
@@NickyD-fd5xk ABSOLUTELY 💕
There is something else way dreadfully than body dismorphia and that is mental state,trust me,i had postpartum depression,and whole year passed and im still fighting with that,body dismorphia is little kitten...
I snapped back physically. Literally belly was back to normal within an hour of birth..... Did it make me happy... No.
I suffered severe anxiety that is still a problem years later.
My point is being happy within yourself is what matters... A flat tummy will not make you happy.
I totally get you, I had severe postpartum anxiety too 🥵
true, same experience with me. my body is exactly like it was before, no single stretchmark or loose skin anywhere, you literally can not tell Ive been pregnant. And oh, I would even say pregnancy gave me abs, Im not joking, I think it was those contractions but I have defined abs now, never worked out in my life, which I never had before. BUT my postnatal depression has never passed. my girl is turning 3 soon and I have still not totally accepted that I am a mom, it was not planned and involved many other traumatizing stuff but I have been mostly suicidal. Im jealous of people that love being moms and cant relate at all. be happy that this is not you
@@violetmushroom6 I hope you are feeling okay now. My 1st was also unplanned and I feel becoming a mum and suddenly feeling very vulnerable makes every tramatic/upsetting experience rise to the surface. And also I don't think any mum enjoys every bit of motherhood. I love my children to bits. But motherhood is by far the hardest thing I will ever do, so please go easy on yourself.
Sorry for rambling, it's just so upsetting to hear another woman's had suicidal thoughts. ❤️
I want to agree but since gaining weight during covid, I’ve been feeling miserable now that I can’t fit into my clothes and I feel so ashamed to run into people for the fear of getting caught fat. Flat tummy won’t make you happy but it sure does wonders to your confidence
@@violetmushroom6 I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I'm not a mom, at least not yet, but I am here if you ever just need someone to talk to. No unwanted advice or anything, just an ear to listen. Please just know that you are not alone in this world and I care
As a sexual assault survivor, I didn’t realize how much pregnancy made me feel disconnected from my body the same way being sexually assaulted did!! The changes we go thru during pregnancy are uncontrollable. Even after giving birth it didn’t feel like it was my body anymore because I couldn’t control what was happening to it- and the changes were painful and scary!!
It’s crazy how much our pregnancy and postpartum bodies can influence our mental states! I am finally beginning to feel more like myself now that my son is 9m old and I am slowing down breast feeding. But WOW. The last year and a half have been HARD on my mental state!!!
Survivor? Really?
Your body your choice. Deal with it.
@@weaksupremacy3799 what does that have to do with anything lol what???
@@weaksupremacy3799Saying that is disgusting... . I also think sometimes only heterosexual men can be so cruel who have never known what sexual harassment feels like.
@Smile Mahi No, why would I? I am in happy relationship with one. I just think it is mainly heterosexual men that have an opinion on sexual harassment that is based on a lack of understanding because they have never experienced sexual harassment themselves.
There is nothing worse than people who do not reflect on the privilege they have been granted.
@Smile Mahi Can I? Can I go out at night without pepper spray and male company? Can I have both children and a professional sports carrier? Don't I have to decide between spending time with my kids and the next promotion?
That is the most unreflected statement I have ever heard.
I hated my body and myself for a year after my son was born. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without crying. This should be discussed more! And also, celebrities have pt, nutritionists and baby sitters, something a basic mom can't afford
Gorl don't listen to that stupid person ....it was NOT your fault ..I am so proud of you 👏 for bringing a life into this earth ..you are incredible ❤ and everyone has times when they feel insecure about something...so you are not alone for sure
@Smile Mahi I saw your reply on another comment ....you said "I hate stretch marks they are ugly, I will get them removed "
Welp that is your fault then lmao 😃 and nobody asked you
Thank you next
@Smile Mahi LOOOOL Bye ...i hope you have a nice day ❤✨
@Smile Mahi has no responds cause i caught them slipping : calls me trash for liking kpop lol issok ....i hope you can get happier.and dont worry even the skinniest person my cousin who is like' model thin has stretch marks cause she is really tall . even i have stretch marks even tho i am not anywhere close to being obese ...its very normal, anyways if you really wanna get it removed thats also your choice
It’s not hard to work out
Honestly I’m ABSOLUTELY terrified of having a baby
I can literally die
The pain
I’m so scared
Omg girl I had the sameeee thought. But it happened and it was okay :)
If you do more research on the pain of labor it will help lessen the scariness of it.
My friend's mom used to say "Giving birth feels a lot like doing a really big poop"
Giving birth can be an incredibly empowering experience - I've done it twice! 💖
Girl I'm the BIGGEST coward ever looool like I was afraid of needles and anything that causes pain.. still kind of am haha I'm a big baby! But one year ago after a whole day of labour at a birth centre, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl!! Naturally too...! I think God gave us women the innate ability to deal with the contractions and pushing. Should you decide to do it, YOU WILL!! But don't feel pressure all the same..! I'm just letting you know that it's so doable.. not easy at all but doable. And I felt like such a badass after looool.
Can you explain this to men? Because the perpetuate “fat-phobia” and treat you poorly when you gain weight.
They aren't "real men", my husband has never once fat shamed me, he has called me beautiful on a daily basis after I had our child (and before). Never once said anything negative about my body while I was (I still am) trying to lose weight or tried to make me lose the weight. Not all men are bad men, not all men are "real men" though.
Exactly! I’m pregnant and my husband loves that I’m growing and getting bigger to grow his child. He thinks it’s so beautiful! He’s a great man and loves God. 🤍
It’s not like these men have never seen mothers before. If they’re fatphobic and treat women poorly when the women gain weight then it’s on the men and they’re misogynists.
Some mother in laws need to hear this too!
Those aren’t men, they are boys.
Men should also watch this seriously
Like imagine you trying to accept your post-partum body and your ignorant husband expect you to look like a virgin bcs some ladies on the internet could get absolute beautiful body right after giving birth
Yeah, show him this so he wonders why we're not pretty like the girl making the video 🙄
Some are watching this. I am a 20 year old man (or boy) and I personally find this video extremely interesting.
@@dietapferetrantute7679 That's very good! Good on you for educating yourself to not put extra stress on your family or loved ones. It will be very appreciated
@@dietapferetrantute7679 Same
It’s been 2 years since I had my 3rd child. My body has changed so much since becoming a mom. There are days where I really hate how I look, but my husband always makes me feel so attractive and desirable. Don’t let the media make you feel worthless.
The way your body changes during pregnancy is why I scared of having kids .
It is worth it for growing a new human being
Fr I already got the sag and pouch I I can’t imagine how much worse it’ll get after babies
Me too...I'm so scared of it
I'm not lol.. never dreamed of a future family..
You don’t have to have kids. That’s an option you know right? You don’t have to throw your body away or possibly die.
I'm pregnant right now and learning all about what actually happens postpartum to your body! And these Insta women pretend like they are somehow superhuman and immune to all the icky (but natural) things that happen after birth! I've stopped following all of them and you should too!
Yeah there’s nothing glam about postpartum! But it’s natural ❤️
One thing one ever told me that after the baby you have to deliver the placenta, oh and that if you breastfeed you will have contractions for a while u feed ur baby.
I def stopped following influencer moms that were posing in mirrors like that, like Hope Howard lol. And only kept moms tha t were very honest.
@@jl8805 oh boy! another totally normal thing I had no idea about because these big influencers don't talk about. thank you!
@@ccrmag good idea!
So personally I never EVER want babies... but wow. Massive respect to all moms. Y’all queens deserve more credit for the miracle of life. Damn awesome.
Never had children, don’t plan on it. But I’m a HUGE advocate for supporting the natural process the female body endures during and post pregnancy. Like you said it’s magical! This video needs to be seen by every single woman
And every single man should watch it too
Yep
@@MrLuffypower you’re so right.
I had my first child when I was 21 in 1995. We didn’t have the internet to see how everyone looked after birth. Also no talked about it. I was so surprised the first time I saw my belly after birth. I thought it would be gone lol. I looked 4-5 months pregnant and it felt like jello. Y’all are lucky to have so much information these days. I knew nothing. The day we came home from the hospital I took a hot bath. I leaned back and closed my eyes. My husband walked in and said what are doing? Huh? I looked down and milk was just squirting out of me like a busted shower head lol. It was funny.
You massage the stomach with a hot towel. It will fissapear in no time... so long as one is healthy and fit... thats what olden women used to do.
The shower head boobie bit killed me 🤣 so adorable
@@ambercotrone lol XD
Ew
I'm not pregnant just chubby and my husbands pats my little tummy subconsciously all the time and mutters under his breath "cute little belly" and it kinda made me feel better about it. Like i know if i do have a baby one day he will he really supportive and loving of my body.
That is soo cute and sweet 🥺
That would make me feel even worse lol
@@mysharona6754 same lol
tammy was also super active for years before having her child so of course it was much easier for her body to bounce back. she already built up so much muscle before hand.
+ photoshopped pic's
She acknowledges this around 8:30!
Agreed, also genes play a big role. I was very active during my first pregnancy, exercised regularly, weights, swimming, yoga. Yet, I still gained 28kgs and I did NOT bounce back. I also became way less active, because when the choice was sleeping or exercising... I chose sleep hie hie
@@sandradique1806 Yep, I didn't exercise during pregnancy, nor after, I don't have a great diet, and I "bounced back" quickly. I'm not super slim or muscular but I'm just kind of slim/average. Just lucky 🤷
This woman is a gem! We need more of her, beautiful, uplifting, entertaining, and a good soul. I'm a fan for life!!
I’m a young mum. Had an emergency c section with my identical twin boys and I literally remember the day I looked in the hospital mirror going toilet, saw the over hang of my mummy pouch and just broke down. I repeatedly said “I’m only 19 why does my body have to look like this.” I hit the 3 digits with my weight (during and after pregnancy.) it’s been over a year since I’ve had my twin boys and I’m still in the 3 digits. I have constant breakdowns about it, I’m literally at my heaviest I’ve ever been at it sucks!!!
But, I do remind myself that I carried twins and that in itself is an accomplishment. Not along of twin pregnancies succeed some mums lose one or lose both. Some Mums have their twins but are faced with many complications afterwards and thankfully I never have. I always talk negatively about my body but literally my body is a fking gem for carrying my boys almost full term and kept them nice and safe! #blessed.
To any other mums out there struggling with their after body of pregnancy, you’re not alone and it’s ok 💛 you carried a whole ass HUMAN!!!! BE PROUD OF YOU AND YOUR BODY💛💛💛✨
You are absolutely amazing!!!! What strength you have to have created and birthed TWO babies at once!!! Never forgot how magic you are 😍🔥
Almost all adults are in the 3 digits my love, it’s okay and very normal and healthy
@@hannahrackliffe7045 I think she means 3 digits in kilograms, not pounds. What means she was over 100 kgs that is around 220 pounds.
@Kelly Maney exactly 😢😢💫 so proud of you mama!!!!
@@hannahrackliffe7045 Yea not 3 digits in pounds.. It's kilograms. Which is indeed very heavy.
I feel like we all need a slap of reality when it comes to women’s bodies and health
Literally crying rn because I hate my postpartum body. Its been almost 2 years since having my baby. It’s so hard not fitting in my clothes and seeing other people just look like postpartum was so easy. Also it’s really hard seeing other people loving their postpartum body and I don’t understand why I hate mine. I love my daughter so much, she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
I think your video helped a little bit though. Thanks for spreading love and helping others find beauty in their new bodies. It really is a journey 🤍
I’m so terrified of having kids because of birth and post partum. Thank you for normalising normal bodies, feelings, and experiences and helping women be open and feel comfortable with themselves. X
Giving birth can be a very positive and powerful experience. No need to be afraid, just do your homework and make sure you have a Dr or midwife that you really trust.
@@stephanies34 Yes, this. It's been hard and life changing, but also beautiful and so worth it. ❤️
Agreed with the replies above❤️ I was scared of birth, but I think all moms are, and yet here we all are with our lovely children!
Giving birth is different for everyone. I was lucky enough to have a peaceful home birth and it was a wonderful experience. I had a lot of abdominal surgeries in the past, 3 emergency surgeries that were life and death, so I’ve had a lot of experience of pain so childbirth was actually much less painful than I was expecting, you just have to relax (which can be hard to do while in pain, especially if you’re not used to it). But I never even felt the need to go to the hospital because I was able to just relax and envision my body stretching open with each contraction and just embracing the stretch. Fear is probably the thing that makes many births so difficult. If you tense up, you will be fighting the process and it will hurt more and take longer.
When I was in postpartum, I just didn’t care what I looked like. It felt like I was in another temporary body and my baby was my priority. Till you’re done breastfeeding, you shouldn’t be trying to lose weight because your body turns your fat into milk. My son ate lots so I was back to pre-pregnancy weight in 3 months and in 6 months I was 10 lbs under (he was a big eater). But everyone is different and every pregnancy is different. A friend of mine with 4 kids lost her weight almost immediately with every boy she had, but with her daughter it took her 2 years.
@@lucygoosie7726 thank you for sharing! 💖 It's important to hear the positive birth stories, especially in a culture that only tells the negative. Thinking positively won't guarantee a good birth, but thinking it will be the worst and most painful experience ever will guarantee that you experience more fear and more pain.
Us women NEED to remember .... we actually performed a miracle!
We are strong, determined, resilient, beautiful and truly amazing.
Hooray to being an awesome human being 🌟👏🌟👏🌟👏🌟
My
🤰🤱Yes- miracles for sure..
Katy Perry's ig story is EVERYTHING
Katy is a man
@@Fire__77 wth..?
@@Fire__77 Do you know how pregnancy and childbirth works? Troll.
@@kate-cq3eh 😂😂
I'm a nurse and pregnant with our second. I had to have an emergency c-section, too, and had the EXACT moment of seeing the 'pooch' for the first time and would endlessly cry. Hearing you say you experienced this made me want to cry in relief that we're not alone because I thought "Maybe if I was skinnier, I wouldn't have this."
My son will be 25 next month. I'm still learning to love my body. I've had such a struggle with depression from stretch marks over the years. It's a journey.
You're a fighter❤
me watching this entire video even though I've never had a baby and am not pregnant 😂 I just really like hearing your perspective on things, it's so refreshing to see people be real on the internet!
I love you 😄❤️
@@stephanielange love you too! 💖
I feel so bad for my mom she has 4 kids and she wasn't able to loose the weight and it makes her feel like she's lazy
@@zeeking6682 my dad says that too and it's toxic
@@zeeking6682 that’s awful. I’d like to see what he looks like after having 10 kids. 🙄
@@zeeking6682 your dad should be proud of her and be thankfull for 10 kids
@You can't leave this empty you go girl not many women have the courage to do what you did especially in my country a lot of them think they will become a disgrace to their families and a lot of them get abandoned by their loved ones
@@zeeking6682 😲😲😲
I’m only 22, not planning to have a baby any time soon, but I’m so excited to watch these videos haha
Mom of almost 2 year old, 22 years old.
Same!! I think of those moms who have 2 children but the children do have years apart. I get curious about women who have stitches cause I think can the dick later on enter again? 😂😂
I've decided that if I ever have a c section, I would get a tattoo to make the scar look like a flower bed. After all, it WAS obtained creating a life! Mamas in general are hardcore
Wow!!! How did you come up with such an original thought?
That's an awesome idea.
@Allison Hoff i have my pubic hair and it's right at the hairline and clearly visible (im 4 months postpartum) sure it will fade it time
@Allison Hoff my hasn’t really faded away but yeah it definitely fades away.
Mine is pretty low, I can hardly see it anymore..cool idea, but I have 7 tattoos in different areas and there is zero chance I'd get a tattoo on my vagaygay
As someone who struggles with body image, after pregnancy I was terrified of my body. I sunk into PPD after having my child and to this day (2years after having my beautiful baby) I’m learning to love and respect my body for everything’s it’s gone through. My body made a miracle, it deserves more respect than social media gives it credit for.
I love this woman!! She is way more than an "influencer". Why isn't she more popular? Every woman should watch her!
@Smile Mahi you don’t... clearly.. so what’s the point of your comment? ;)
“I don’t know how I did it, I barely know how to fry an egg” Lmaoo I love you
I am 38, married for 10 years, and we never ever want kids...yet still watch every one of these videos! It’s a great series and you can tell from the responses that it’s helping so many people.
It’s important just as a woman to watch. Because maybe sometimes we might make an inappropriate comment by mistake. Or this can highlight the issue so if we hear someone else be mean we can end that.
@@Mama_Bear524 👏
@@Mama_Bear524 true and also male population should start to watch it.
What gets me, men never comment to me, on my body but every woman I know has told me “wow, you don’t look like you’ve had 7 babies.” It’s women judging women.
Misogyny internalized by women. Not too uncommon. When oppression becomes unbearable people tend to oppress their peers
Yes and no. I hear men commenting on women's bodies all the time
@@anonomous8649 men will say mean shit about me and other women right to my face 😂😂😂 but I agree that women tend to be more passive aggressive. My experience with women is that they will say shit about you to your back or online
Believe me guys judge alot harder
I’ve heard men literally cherry pick studies that say women should bounce back after birth and if a woman doesn’t she’s lazy and doing something wrong. It’s definitely not just women
If I could like this a 1000 times, I would. No baby, no boyfriend, but you're real, you're honest, you're kind and you're drop dead gorgeous inside and out. Thank you so much for this.
I'm 5 months pregnant and I will definitely be looking up your videos when I give birth! Thanks for all the positivity and love! We all need it!!
Aw congratulations!!! ❤️❤️
@@stephanielange thank you, I'm excited but I am super insecure in this body and knowing it's going to get worse is scary... These videos truly help. Thank you love!
Congratulations!!! God bless!💗🙏
@@RealtorMandy I have a 3 month old. First and only baby. My body completely changed. But you know what? Idgaf! I created a beautiful human being that is my sunshine and the greatest thing I have ever done and experienced. It takes a couple of months to get into a routine and tgen you will be able to create for a workout schedule. It takes 9 months for your body to change so give yourself 9 months to get back to where you are comfortable.
My body is so screwed up after having my daughter and you have been such an inspiration to me to just love myself and my new body. I am proud to have been able to carry my daughter but the media definitely makes it seem like you should’ve be thin straight away and have not a stretch mark to be seen. It is so refreshing watching an influencer talk about what’s it’s really like!! 💞💞💞
it breaks my heart when I hear women say “ruined” my body from having kids. I’m not a mother and I have never been pregnant but there’s nothing ruined about you from growing human inside you. If you think about it, isn’t it amazing that another human being was made by your body? Of course, your body is working meticulously hard to put every cells together and binding DNA’s to make a living breathing conscious thing inside you. It’s like magic to me and I think it’s amazing that human body/a woman can do that. So no your body is not “ruined”. Your body worked hard to make a human being and the scars and shapes you got from giving birth is your battle scars. As a woman who has never been pregnant, I always am amazed how you women produce another life.
@@Princessbubblegum567 since you haven’t had a baby i don’t think you should be telling women who have how to feel about it
talia learn to read. I was complimenting not “telling” :) have a good day angry lady
Plus: Those fitness influencers might have struggled with their self image just as everyone else! They are perpetuating these unrealistic standards but they too are victims of the patriarchal society!
I mean u can do what makes u happy. But don’t u just wanna sit dow and enjoy the fact that u BIRTHED A HUMAN. Just remember u don’t NEED to bounce back, but still do whatever makes j happy. If that routine makes u happy, by all means go for it (guessing it doesn’t affect ur health)
Or they may have actually been really really in shape and healthy prior to pregnancy, had the fortune of a healthy pregnancy and continued to work just as hard with exercising and maintaining healthy nutrition through pregnancy, which then enabled their bodies to heal rapidly and “bounce back”. Shaming a woman for the way her body looks post partum is toxic any way you slice it, “bounce back” or not.
Always the blame on the so called patriarchy. How about the women who bully each other based on how they look. They can't always use the patriarchy as an excuse to being a terrible person.
That’s really true. My friend competed in a few bikini competitions, and asked me how I was dealing with my new body. I told her I was fine but I know where she was getting at because she has extreme anxiety when she’s bloated etc. she also has trouble with her period, and hormones all off from being so “fit” for the competitions. It’s really sad. I’d rather be average than anxious about my weight 24/7
It is generally not men tearing down women who have babies. It is other women... I am not saying there are no rude men in the world, obviously there are, but usually when there is aggressive, nasty, mean energy directed towards a woman it comes from another woman. Particularly over the matter of appearance.
Women are obsessed with comparing and criticizing bodies, not men. Most guys can happily accept the same flaws that women tear each other down about.
Sad but true.
"We are magical human beings"
I absolutely agree, that expression was so cute so I had to say something!
As a woman I understand the beauty standards we fight against and despite never wanting to give birth naturally (barely want kids but I if do id prefer to adopt) I'd feel like an absolute warrior after birth. My body just produces another being being. Nobody could tell me anything. 💁🏾♀️
Omg I so needed this 😭 Due Jan 3rd and starting to get stretch marks 😅🙈 Perfect timing ✨
You got this mama!!! stretch marks are hot! x
Try using Bio Oil... helps with them a lot (only if it's something that bothers you 😊)
Not to be that guy but most of your stretch marks show up after birth. I know mine did. I thought I had done so well with my 2nd pregnancy because I got no stretch marks during pregnancy (I have Uber stretchy skin naturally) and then after I had her I had tons. But I have come to terms with all of it. They fade after time. Like steph says just love them. They are what you got from creating your little bundle. ❤❤❤
@@stephanielange aww that’s so sweet, thank you! ❤️❤️ x
@@nikkia326 yeah I was using it for the majority of my pregnancy once they actually started to appear it ran out and it’s been sold out at my local drug stores so I’m just trying to embrace it at this point 😅 xx
Me growing up: I'm never baring children
Me after turning 24 and having a long-term boyfriend: maybe one day I can have 2 kids to carry out my family name
Me after this video: D: ... time to reconsider again!
Yeah. They didn’t really discuss the fact you can die… or get permanently ripped or broken.
Dont have children for a "boyfriend"
@@virgorisingtheory
I mean, yes and no. I don’t really want to give birth to kids myself but would consider possibly. And it’s have to be a boyfriend because I’m against marriage.
@@serpentinewolf7085 You dont need a boyfriend or husband for kids these days. Technology is a great thing.
It all depends on genetics more than anything I’m pregnant with my fifth and I have been back to my pre pregnancy body by about 3 weeks after birth with all of my kids and breastfeeding helps a lot because it help your uterus go back down quicker. I’m very lucky that my genetics allow my body to do that.
Exactly. I gained after pregnancy (only gained 13 pounds on average each time pregnant, I ate like a pig tho). I walked a ton. My sister gained a ton of weight, had baby. Within a couple weeks she was thin again. No exercise.
I tell my friends all the time they need to curb their enthusiasm when it comes to “snap back”. Recovering from pregnancy can sometimes take like 2 years. You just won’t know how your body will react or what complications you’ll have during pregnancy or delivery or postpartum until it happens. And this includes a lot more than just “my stomach is flat again”
My husband and I are trying for a baby and it's so hard to navigate what's realistic, ideal, and straight up fake. I really appreciate this video. Thank you, Stephanie!
I never hated my body after any of my boys, BUT, this made me cry. I still can't believe I did it. It was ROUGH. Three vaginal births with faulty epidurals. And my body kicked ass. HOW?! Idek. But ffs, we do all need to love ourselves. I'm really good at ignoring/feeling disdain for the media telling me how to look, so luckily I didn't feel that pressure. But I don't give myself enough credit, regardless, none of us do. BECAUSE we're fighting off negative thoughts, I imagine. Thank you so much for doing this, and sharing all your journey.
Beautiful video! My children are 11 and 7, and my body still doesn’t look the way it did pre-babies, and that’s fine with me because I’m absolutely LOVING my more curvy body and I feel so sexy in it!! 💜💜💜💜
Yaaaassss mama!!! 🔥🔥🔥
Omg, I love this!!
Same!
I feel lucky that most of my women friends have this attitude and are so supportive of one another. It's hard, though when your partner says all of these things, but his actions tell another story😭
Get a different one, who says it and means it 💞
Men can’t control attraction. Don’t sweat it. A real man will grow to accept and love the changes but it would take time. At the end of the day, the most important things is not if a man is attracted to you anyways (you’ll grow old and not so pleasing one day lol): the most important thing is that a man loves you, for love doesn’t care about what you look like. See?
@You can't leave this empty you can and you will, age doesn't matter there will be single men your age xx
@You can't leave this empty he hasn’t shown up as in like... he’s not in your life? I know this will sound crazy, but if you mean emotionally, sit down and talk girl. You don’t know, your man might appreciate your help in conquering his struggle to accept change and avoid lust. It is possible believe me. My partner is proof that men love more than exterior. The thing is, it’s hard to love someone because they look pretty, you know? There has to be more. Of course, if you mean finding someone new, they won’t feel this initially. First it’s attraction. Then they’ll find they love your personality. Then your personality will make you prettier than your appearance ever could. My man says my looks are 1 percent of why he is with me, although when we first met they were a large factor. And sometimes you’ll have to confront problems when change occurs but that’s expected. It takes some getting used to when something you adored (because it’s the body of someone you love, not because it’s a nice looking body mind you) adapts to something new. They’ll appreciate it over time.
After years of trying we finally did ivf and got pregnant on the first cycle. I loved my pregnancy body and i still love it now. I was told i would never get pregnant, that it was impossible. My body made a miracle for me, and for her, ill take syrech marks and a pooch 😂
Your the kind of woman everyone needs as a best friend 💜 You are so healthy minded and I absolutely love it !
Yep, that’s it... I’m not giving birth
😂
@@tessltaekook8501 Gen Z birth rate: 📉📉📉📉
@@tessltaekook8501 Are you a mother?
@@Hellsichtig Yes. Two kids. They are 26 and 14
I know I sounded negative but I just remember the struggles after giving birth. I never forgot like many other women seem to do. It takes time to get back in shape and accept yourself but after a while you do
I wish more people did these videos! I know I needed this when I had my 2 kids. My son is about to 13 in December & after I had him i was so down on myself for not looking the way I did before. I lost all the baby weight & then I got pregnant with our daughter who just turned 7 in September. I for a long time wondered why I can't get rid of the changes on my body without surgery like the celebrities... now I know they are my battle wounds of life & proud of it all.
A lot of celebrities actually get tummy tucks but never tell anyone! X
I’m 3 years post pregnancy and my csection has made my stomach wonky! First child was normal delivery, 5 years after our second arrived through emergency csection. And I’m still not back to where I would like to be. Thank you for highlighting this to new mums. Especially as a csection mum can feel horrible about their body, I still do. My scar isn’t level, it’s uncomfortable and numb in places. Yet I look at my 3 year old and see that without that scar me and her wouldn’t be here. Thank you
My scar is on a diagonal!!!
I am 18 and pregnant and have had major self confidence issues with my body before and after and now through my pregnancy I have been able to accept and love my pregnant body with all the stretch marks and saggy ness.This video was very inspiring and I am very happy and I love the messages you are putting out into this world.
I know I’m late but best of luck for you and baby :)
@@ThisUserPassedAway Thank you 😊
I’m 16 months pp and my stomach muscles still feel weak at times. I also ... for the first time the other day sneezed and peed alittle 😭 all the other mothers around me all just said “ yup , it’s going to happen more too “
Did it first time 9 years ago with baby 3. Sitting on couch. Left a spot 🤦♀️. Fun 😂
Those kegels are not a joke. Women take them for granted. Once the muscles are gone it's not coming back so work on them even if you're not having kids.
me: literally never had a baby
also me: YES!
best comment, their hair is washed and they're wearing cloths, lol
Ain’t it the truth 😂
I've had a hysterectomy so the way you're feeling with some numbness from your incision does feel weird, but the nerves are trying to repair themselves and it's perfectly normal Stephanie. I love to watch your videos because you're one of the few who keep it 100%!!!
I've never had a baby, but I know people who "bounced back" because of good genes, and brag about it and I absolutely hate it. It makes other women who didn't, feel so bad about themselves, like they did something wrong, when in reality that other person just was fortunate to be born with those genes. I wish they would stop. Take credit for bouncing back if you exercised or ate healthy, but if you did nothing, just were lucky, then shut up
@@maddiesenator5491 then they can be quiet, hows that?
period
Woman who had it easy is not our enemy. The society that dictate us to be certain way is.
@@xiuolo8116 I agree. But we should not feed into it ourselves
Sounds like someone knows they probably won’t bounce back. We should celebrate every woman’s journey into motherhood and just because they bounce back while others don’t doesn’t mean they should shut up about it. We don’t tell those who can’t bounce back to shut up we encourage and just because the body bounces back doesn’t mean the mind does. Get a life lmao
I really needed to see this. I’m around three weeks postpartum with my third child after my third c section. I ended up getting extensive DVT blood clots and I’ve been really hating how my body looks. This is the kind of conversation we need to have about what real bodies are like.
Thank you for this 💕 I’ve been struggling with my postpartum body and seeing your posts with you not flexing your stomach have really helped me realize not all women bounce back to their pre-baby body. I really appreciate you sharing the real side of your life 💕
Most woman don’t bounce back, and even if they do, some might still have stretch marks or loose skin, but there’s nothing wrong with that! We’re amazing! 😍❤️
I also had a emergency c-section... and two years later, I am finally at my “normal weight” again... But “the pouch” is still proud and in charge 😂
I’m beginning to think the pooch never leaves! 😂
Mine didn't and my baby is 13 now 🤣🤣 I don't mind it
@@stephanielange Its a new trusty companion 😂
@@stephanielange check transabdominal muscle excersizes, women do not activate those and they get super stretched in pregnancy. Helped me a lot!
@@stephanielange I'm a personal trainer, my kids are 16, and the little pouch is still there!
Needed this more than I thought I did clearly, since it literally made me cry 😂 almost 10 months PP and still at least 2 sizes bigger than I was before I was pregnant, and this made me feel a bit better about it. So thank you ❤
A birth scar should not be anything to be ashamed of. It's something to be proud of. You created a human life! And your body is equipped to take care of that new life.
@YoungL To the limit that we have "Free will", although there is no such thing...We "Choose" to create life, even though there isn't much of a choice. We can only do what we end up doing.
Age makes a difference too. My mom had my brother when she was 19. Dad says for months she didn't even look pregnant and then I saw pictures of her in a bikini 2 months after giving birth - no belly, NOTHING!
Can't imagine it being the same at 25-35..
"Love yo' gutssss" ahh I freaking love that and your accent is just so cuuuute. Thanks for being a voice for positive change, babe😚
Love yours 😄❤️
There is so much to be said for being real and sharing it with others. There is so much personal power in that, and that then becomes naturally attractive.
"I think stretchmarks are cool." I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would have a anxiety attack if I said those words to her... especially as she's not pregnant.
Sterling Forbes Women don't just get stretch marks during pregnancy.
@@juicysatsumabeauty Yep, I'm aware, but this video is about life after pregnancy... and my point was how my girl would feel if I said "stretchmarks are cool" in any case would not go well.
Yeah I would avoid saying that if you think it might upset her. I feel the same way. I now have little white ones which for me is ok now. But I had massive 1cm intermittent stripes up and now my tummy for a year. It was really upsetting. It takes ages for them to get better it seems. It's okay to hate your body and be sad about it. Hearing a ton of toxic positivity shoved down your throat is unhelpful when you are unhappy.
Man you keep popping up on the same videos as me
@@cayladelorenzo4047 Haha, Really?
It’s ALL about body type, genes and what you put in your body and how much exercise you get. Pretty much a grand combination
My boyfriend loved me before and after pregnancy and now as a mother who gave birth to his best friend❤️ I’m so grateful for him, our baby, and my body that was able to make us a family🥰
This makes me feel so much better. I've had 2 children and after I had my daughter in 2018 I just remember standing in front of the mirror and feeling disgusting and sobbing. I went into a serious eating disorder after and was 20 lbs underweight and still wasn't happy with my body. I never understood it but now I'm at a healthy weight and still struggling to accept how I look 2 years since giving birth. Thank you so much!
*hugs* you're not alone, friend ♡♡
@@Nikki-jn3ud hope you're doing okay love💕
"he's the love of my life."
Every boy mama: same 😍
I love how body positive and pro-women you are. Watching you has helped me not to compare myself to others so much. You're an amazing woman and I have such deep respect for you.
That makes me so happy! Thank you so much, I have so much love and respect for you too ❤️
Your postpartum body is beautiful Steph!!! So are all the other women in the photos. Our bodies are truly magical!!! Give them the love they deserve. ♥
This is why I appreciate the Bella twins so much, they were so raw and honest with their postpartum journey
I applaud pregnant women. It looks scary to me to have this huuuge belly with something alive in it. Then you have to go through nausea, leaking, pain, visual body changes, lack of sleep, and mORe. Respect.
I'm 5 weeks pregnant 🥰
Im so glad i found this Channel.. im creating another human being?? Unbelivable🤗
Ill let my body go thru all the changes it needs..and thanks to this channel I know better than to hate or judge my body during this beautiful journey🥰🥰
I love this so much!! Ty!! I’ve had 5 babes. 2natural/2ceserean (twins w/1csection) I know my belly will never look the same as it did before babies and I’m really ok with that.. My babies are so worth it!! They are my world!!
Stephanie Lange, you deserve your own television show to get your messages out to the masses!
Actually, I should amend that statement to say: SOCIETY really needs you to have your own television show so your message can better reach the masses!
THANK YOU for being such a great source of information and inspiration!
-an American chick
Thank you for making this video! I’m currently 3 months pp and I’ve been so hard on myself for not recovering immediately like all the models on ig...You look gorgeous by the way 🤗
All moms are superheroes ❤️
God being pregnant is so exhausting. I‘d probably just adopt children.
I was actually more energetic and calm. Every woman is so different.
Thank you for this Stephanie. I'm so unhappy with my post partum body but this video has helped me feel a little more positive about it.
Being 9 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and terrified of the changes my body will go through.. I appreciate this video.
“Last night I was making elderberry syrup”
“I barely know how to fry an egg” giiiirl 😂😂😂😂
To be honest, I went flat again. Tummy muscles. I was basically flat, people were in awe.
This was 1st and 2nd. Got pregnant 4 months after 1st and still went back down straight away.