12:43 "Because that's the penalty for failing to comply" Calling it out like that instead of using more socially safe terms completely changed how I view the entire gender spectrum.
Reply to DamnMyfetish (no reply button available) Why is it that people with less than a smattering of understanding of complex issues don’t hesitate to add their shallow pool of thought to a debate? First - gender identity is NOT the same as sexuality and a person’s phenotype (their external appearance including genitalia) does not influence gender identity. During gestation, male human genitalia begins to differentiate from the base model of female at around the 6th week, triggered by the embryo’s Y chromosome. I in 200 births presents an infant whose anatomy differs from the standard male and female. I in 2000 live births is a child with complex, ambiguous genitalia. It requires further tests to ascertain whether the child is chromosomally male or female. Even when we have the answer, none of this determines the child’s later gender identity, it is the BRAIN which decides. Some people can be born with what looks like male secondary sexual characteristics yet their brain has developed anatomically as female - post-mortem examination of the brain has given us an insight into the basis of gender identity and it is NOT the external anatomy as such. ! in 1000 people (most of whom identify as male) are born with an extra X chromosome (47, XXY). As a result they do not secrete enough testosterone to go through a typcal male puberty. In consequence, they develop breasts, their body shape is feminine, their voice does not break and they are unable to grow facial and male-pattern body hair. This does not mean that they will ID as female. Some do, but I repeat, gender identity is NOT dictated by the body. I have worked with many young people who are diagnosed with this condition (Klinefelter Syndrome). I have also worked with young people who externally appear to be anatomically male, However, their brain has developed along female lines & vice versa - i.e. female’ anatomy contradicted by a male identity. Yet another condition reveals an individual who presents with intact external male genitalia and identifies as male, yet tests reveal that internally he possesses rudimentary female reproductive organs (uterus & fallopian tubes). Should the sex police then tell him that HE is actually SHE because of his internal organs or should they insist he is male becasue he has a penis and scrotum? Before those who dismiss the facts leap to write about their concept of ‘normality’ I suggest that they should attend university for 5 years (as I did) qualify with a doctorate (as I did) and spend 4 years in research (as I did) and then work for 16+ years with the very people I have described above (as I have done) and then perhaps you will be able to write about such matters with more authority. Even better, keep an open mind and spend some time with the very people I describe above. You may learn something more useful than uninformed prejudice.
Gender identity isn’t important. Be yourself not a caricature of what you think a woman is or a man is. It’s incredibly sexist to women that you think we all just like pink, shoes, and makeup. Also, participate in your own sports please, pave your own path just like real women did.
@@i3ignorantidelweb43Male brains aren’t competing in women’s sports or walking into women’s protected spaces. It’s male bodies. I have no issue with males getting whatever cosmetic medical interventions they want, wearing clothes traditionally sold to women, and changing their name. They just don’t get to take away protections and opportunities women fought for decades to create for female people.
10/10 great explanation, great incorporation of humour, and your voice is amazing to listen to. I was a little disappointed that you didn't really talk about non-binary people, but other than that I think you hit all the important points, in a very clear and concise way.
+EmoRainbow Thank you for you lovely comments. This talk was delivered in October 2014 when non-binary was just emerging into main stream. It is amazing just how much has changed in the past year. I had started introducing non binary and bi gender into my workshops in 2014 - and now it is a significant topic - but one that most cis gendered people really struggle with. Most people still think transsexual when they thence amour any gender variance. And when you look at the hight profile trans people in 2015 it was all about how well they pass and surgery - we have a long way to go.
This is such an interesting topic; thank you for sharing! But one of your comments really struck me. You said to one of the guys here " But what would you do if your daughter started wanting to wear boys clothes, wanted to change her name to a boys name, refused to wear dresses, insisted on playing soccer or football..." I did all of those things as a little girl. My mother couldn't even put a bow in my hair without me screaming. I played soccer/football starting at 6 years old and continued all the way through university. I played many sports, actually. You can't possibly be saying that I was a boy because of that, right? I was always considered a girl with my own special interests. I was a tomboy, yes (and be careful if you use that word in Thailand because it has a very different meaning there that I found out the hard way, haha) but girls and women can do a wide variety of things and have many interests. That doesn't define my gender. I do enjoy wearing dresses and skirts now, but that's because soccer players have nice legs haha. But seriously, I am happy that no one started encouraging me to change my gender when I was younger. I've always been proud of being a strong woman. Just because a child starts acting like a person who has interests that are not exactly what had previously been considered to be traditionally of the opposite gender does not mean that they are of the wrong gender.
lovekai88 When anyone changes gender it is, or should be, only because that is what they want to do. The clinical assessments we go through are designed to determine if we do have gender dysphoria. Of course being female bodied does give you a social advantage that you could express masculinity without facing too much humiliation and bullying. Born with a male body I did not have that advantage. If I had worn skirts and dresses and makeup as a child I would have faced huge problems - and still would today, although it is getting better. What I would like to see is a change of attitude that allows children to express themselves in any way they choose without harassment. At the same time where a child appears to have gender dysphoria, they need to get the support that enables them to avoid the effects of puberty and be supported to make the right decision about their body. If someone is trans the worst possible outcome is being forced to endure the devastating and permenant impact of puberty in the "wrong" body. We need a complete overhaul of our understanding of gender and learn from the cultures where as many as 5 or more different genders are accepted.
lovekai88 That's a valid point. The difference however is that (I assume) you never had or expressed not being or hating being a girl, or a feeling of being or wanting to be a boy, did you? Tomboys and trans guys have many similarities, there just isn't an example like that for boys and trans women. Yet it's ok to be a tomboy. I'm a trans guy and I was always allowed to be a tomboy but the moment I hit puberty and asked if someone could cut my breasts off and expressed disgust with my curves and my name then that was waved off as just teenage angst. So I guess she gave those examples because that's the first thing a parent will notice. Sometimes it'll just be a tomboy but it's good to listen to the child and not be ashamed of it even if they turn out to be trans.
lovekai88 That's a valid point. The difference however is that (I assume) you never had or expressed not being or hating being a girl, or a feeling of being or wanting to be a boy, did you? Tomboys and trans guys have many similarities, there just isn't an example like that for boys and trans women. Yet it's ok to be a tomboy. I'm a trans guy and I was always allowed to be a tomboy but the moment I hit puberty and asked if someone could cut my breasts off and expressed disgust with my curves and my name then that was waved off as just teenage angst. So I guess she gave those examples because that's the first thing a parent will notice. Sometimes it'll just be a tomboy but it's good to listen to the child and not be ashamed of it even if they turn out to be trans. I personally am torn about postponing puberty, as dealing with kids is less straightforward. Then again if I'd been strong enough to press the matter and had been taken seriously back then I would definitely be grateful if my puberty hadn't happened and I could have gone through it later with testosterone. But now I have to go through it twice... I realise this is more important for trans women as their puberty does more damage less of which is reversible.
I was that way too. As someone who believes gender is just a social construct (like the person in the video said), I'm confused by the prevalence of gender stereotypes when it comes to trans people. On one hand saying gender isn't real, & on the other hand saying "I feel I'm female, therefore I will wear dresses and blouses". That's basically saying that dresses/blouses = female
Nobody encourages anybody to change their gender. And if you had been encouraged, you would have been forbidden to transition because it's highly unlikely you meet the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria. Stop trivializing other people's experiences, and stop imagining that you've been through anything trans people have
Thanks for this. As a woman who has always been on the tomboy side of things, I've been extremely confused about why someone would feel the need to actually change genders. I've looked at gender as unimportant because I'll do what I want, regardless of whether it's considered appropriate for a woman. But I can see that this is more difficult for men to do without extreme harassment and violence.
I think this is why 80% if trans people from surveys are male to female. I know a number of women who which they had been born male - but are able to cope without coming out as trans. Women don't need to spend years crossdressing in secret - because you can cross dress and no one really notices.
It is possible that the physical advantages of being born with an XY chromosome comes with some extra social responsibility. 30% more muscle mass and more bone density may come with some strings attached?
I still don't see the point of changing your gender, mostly because it isn't possible. The only reason I think you could bother is to avoid harassment when you cross dress and than it's not even about how you feel it's to avoid judgement and conflict. People just need to accept that you can't "change" your gender and it's really just personality.
Yes, al those stupid rules, the new rules are now that people must use the gender jargon. There are people who are using their slang, botanists using Latin, but they don't impose that everybody must speaks Latin by low.
+bruno “brunozoekteenjob” zoekteenjob Nobody mocks, isolates, or endangers the safety of people speaking Latin. That is how to accurately apply your analogy, as you appeared to have missed the point of this speech. If you can respect a transgender, or any varient non-binary gendered person, as you would a person who happens to be speaking in a different language such as Latin, that would be the entire point she was making.
NinjaJanie You refered to the person as "she".. today, in Canada that is counted as hate speech and you can go to jail for it.. because although you see the outward appearance of a woman, you have probably misgendered and even if you didn't mean to misgender.. you can still go to jail for it. Its law.. check it out. Welcome to gender hell.
So now when a women gives birth to a baby and asks the doctor "is it a boy or a girl?" the doctor needs to respond "we won't know for quite some time".
The fact that that is a issue for people is weird to me. Babies are babies, the differences really shouldn't matter when they are that young. Try thinking about all the ways you think that boy or girl label is important and you'll realize it isn't necessary except that we'd need pre-gendered pronouns. And that isn't very difficult either.
@@samb906Biology doesn’t wait years to kick in. The difference in reproductive anatomy matters immediately. Pretending that it’s irrelevant will lead to poorer care being given to children.
actually, YOU did that. if you paid attention to the video you would know this WOMAN identifies as such; the information was given, no assumption necessary. however, the fact that you've misgendered her means you do not have the information and yet have cast a label upon her. yours is the assumption...and to refer to a person as "it" is rather dehumanizing.
Present yourself anyway you want. Man/woman girl /boy I personally don’t care . Dress however you like 👍. If people don’t accept you that’s their problem.
What I don't get is the necessity of a label at all, even in the case of dating websites you're selecting genitals not filtering for a system of behaviors.
We label things to make it easier to talk about them. Sadly when we label we also create stereotypes and that is where the problem lies and where your comment fails. The label gender is about identity not biology. Calling myself a Trans Woman says nothing about my genitals - It tells you only that I was born male and now identify as female. In the UK and many countries I can legally identify as female without even having any form or clinical treatment. You apply the label woman to someone no on the basis of their biological sex, but on the basis of their gender appearance - if they look like a woman then we label them a woman - of they look like a man then we label them a man. But what do we do if it is not entirely clear - does it matter if we cannot determine whether a person is male or female. The problem is that we don't labels to describe someone who is neither male nor female - and than makes talking about them difficult - we can use plural pronouns, they, them or the neutral pronoun it, though using it to refer to a human is considered impolite, or offensive.
***** But it sounds to me like you are arguing for stereo types. Female in appearance could mean anything from has breasts to wearing a dress. When in reality we've had tomboys to valley girls as an ever growing spectrum less of gender expression and more of personal expression. To clarify my confusion since you seem to be one to talk about these things. It sounds as though you advocate a label for behaviors indicative of individuals rather than biological groups, which sounds impossible to me because eventually we would have as many labels as their are people. So why seek having them at all for any one and instead just relegate these labels to the area of medicine which is the only case I can conceive of where your gender might play a role in treatment.
Yes, I will admit it is easy to fall into the trap of promoting gender stereotypes which was definitely not my intention. The challenge for trans people is that if we want to avoid harassment we often have to "pass" as one gender or the other so we are to a degree forced to adopt gender stereotypes. For cic gender women the challenge is not so great because it is increasingly acceptable to present a "tomboy" appearance. The range of clothing and appearance for women has broadened so much that it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to dress in an identical way to a masculine man and for that appearance to be considered just another form of female dress. If a man even wears a dress or skirt that has been designed for men - they are likely to be harassed and humiliated. we are now seeing the emergence of more and more labels to describe and define people such as non binary, bi gendered, androgyne, etc - yet when I interview people about this topic most don't like any of the labels and prefer to identify as something different. Kate Bernstein in her book Gender Outlaw suggested that perhaps there is a gender for everyone - which does negate the very idea of labelling gendered appearance - Why do we need to label people? Does it matter if you are male or female, masculine or feminine - are those terms becoming labels that only describe extreme concepts of gender expression or sexual identity. Perhaps in actuality we all fall somewhere on a continuum between male and female, masculine and feminine. I certainly support the idea of a culture where gender is abandoned, and where your body shape ad parts are irrelevant - a culture where we are all pan gender and pan sexual.
Black Knight Fool Not Sure if Rikki will return but that's the point I was less bluntly dancing around,. The idea of relegating gender to a simple medical label I think suffers from perhaps the unwanted baggage of years of gender based identification, which seems more beneficial to shirk rather than replacing with a laundry list of genders. Though if you read their last note I think the feeling is mutual that a good end point to this discussion would be to simply step away from any unnecessary labeling to begin with.
Happy new year my resolution is to start a trend of including tl;dr lines in posts though I have had fun reading and responding thus far in this curiously stimulating UA-cam comment thread.
Hig Hig Not at all. Scientists from over a dozen countries from four continents have confirmed that trans peoples white matter count is that of the gender they say they are. It's been a proven fact for the past decade so this is nothing new.
So many amazing points. It really resonated with me what she said about girls/women being able to adopt the dress of a boy/man and not be categorized as gender variant, whereas a man with the same degree of crossover would be. I fit into the spectrum that's identified as the female gender, but it's such a broader spectrum I hardly think that means much of anything. If we did collect stats accounting for the point she made, I'm positive I would be classified as gender variant. But because of the mechanics of our world and the two gender roles, I have never been treated as a deviant for loving to wear baseball caps and men's t-shirts. Even with short hair, I can wear quite a broad array of "men's" fashion without my gender identity being scrutinized, nor my liking of those things criticized.
Hate to break the news to you but there are only two genders and this is verified by biology. If you are utterly insane enough to think being female means nothing you need to seek treatment for alot more than gender confusion.
Great sensible and engaging speaker. Nice to hear someone discuss gender and trans issues without just spouting the standard and often I'll founded terms and official doctrines of the new millennium gender ideology
So Amazing!!! And So true. Coming out as nonbinary, masculine expressing has made my life so much better, even if I have to fight the negativity. To be treated as a person as myself is really the only desire I have. Thanks for your advocacy and I hope to be in you shoes someday.
+Rikki Arundel, as a mother of Andy soon to morph into who he was really borned, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. He is loved by both myself and his Dad, and we support him on his journey from FtM. Thank you and a hug!
Great talk!! As an older Transwoman I agree with every word you have said..... What amuses me is when gender specialists ask what toys you played with as a child....I had an electric train set which ran off the mains & was fascinated by the electric current, but I also had a doll as a relative was a doll maker. My favourite xmas present was a Rupert Bear Annual. But most of all as a child & & up to the age of 12ish was my collection of foreign stamps. I noticed that my grandchildren have none of these things, they have computers & I am not sure that I approve !!
It's one thing to be born a hermaphrodite, then allowing that child to grow and decide which gender they're most comfortable with. It's an entirely different one when the child is born male or female. In that aspect the parents and child grow along with each other in the traditional concept. As far as the pink or blue that's done at birth as a simple form of discription. As a matter of FACT most hospital wrap baby in blankets that a Represent neither make or female. As the child grows and they're identity starts to form... They EVENTUALLY pick a "color' they are most drawn to
Absolutely splendid, well delivered, and very thought provoking. Well done Rikki! This is especially important to me because I'm transgender too, and I've experienced hate crimes in my own life from my own family and even people I didn't know, despite being only 18. Breaking these rigid rules we've got set up and ending gender could open up so many possibilities and change the way people look at the world and at each other, and in my opinion that's something worth working towards.
On another topic, even if someone is transgender because of something that happened to them during development, doesn't mean that you can reverse it. some things become permanent. For example. If you learn a language before puberty, you won't have an accent. So, the language center of the mind becomes 'finalized' during puberty. So why can't the person's gender become finalized at some point in development? Because that's what I feel happened to me. I was a normal boy until age 6. From then on, I was molested, and told that I was really supposed to be a girl, that god made a mistake. So for the next 7 years, I was constantly reminded that I was really supposed to be a girl. 50 years later, I'm still stuck with this underlying feeling that I'm supposed to be a girl.
Wait the story is not clear of the outcome, as I understand you feel an urge to identify as a girl to conform expectations but in your mind you identify as a boy, am I correct?
Donna Smith except for the little matter that we will ALL stand before our Creator to give account for our lives. He will not be pleased that we are playing God in His place
Freedom for all you say, and yet you are requiring me to love who you want. What just happen to freedom for all. I'm a part of ALL and yet here you are requiring me to love who YOU say. You're welcome.
This is great. She really outlined all the basics and the issues extremely well. Thank you Rikki! This is a great primer for anyone who is curious about gender identity issues.
Well - Just knowing that you support the work of Ray Blanchard is enough for me to know you are probably more than a little biased. The Clarke institute in Toronto is notoriously in favour of reparative therapies. You are clearly not trans, so why do you present views that suggest you have some understanding of the topic.
Im just a little confused about the gender assignment part of the presentation because the speaker is conforming to the female gender stereotype, wearing clothes and having hair like a female. Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't that go against the idea that gender shouldn't be categorised into boys and girls things. If gender was an issue, surely a new type of clothing should be created and new types of products for those that don't conform to genders?
I loved this. I'd like to say thank you, in particular, for bringing up gender variance as it relates to transgender issues, and how the two are not the same thing. I fall into the gender variant category (genderfluid, specifically) and it's amazing how many misunderstandings trying to explain that concept can bring up.
This is important for everyone. I believe most of people dont fit 100% in their gender boxes. People are so multiple and this have something to do with freedom. Freedom to be who you are. If you put a blue cloth in your kid you saying, treat him like a boy, you're ignoring that that kid might be sensible, that kid might not enjoy competition too much and there's nothing wrong with it. It's just his personality. Even if in the future he wont dress himself with dresses and skirts, still. Children must be free to be who they are regardless of those made up rules.
Thank you for giving this talk Rikki. It is a very important issue. I worked many years of my career in Obstetric & Gynecology departments. Indefinite gender is more widespread than people understand. I hope all who hear this talk will take your advice and treat everyone with dignity and respect because if they do not they will offend someone they know without realizing it.
COULD.NOT.LOVE.THIS.MORE. WILL SHARE THIS AT OUR HIGH SCHOOL'S GSA (which we can the Radical Equity Movement - REM) THIS WEDNESDAY. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!
This is so incredibly powerful, moving, and important. For me, it struck a nerve of integrity - standing up for what I know and feel is right, Rikki, thank you for sharing this and reminding me of this. I am completely in awe and will be sharing this as widely as I can!
I understand where she's coming from I get the point that it's a lot harder to be MTF or any AMAB that presents or identifies in any nonconforming way but I really think this is ignoring a different struggle faced by the other side. What you have to understand is this there is a negative by product that comes with this freedom of expression that happens when you're AFAB. It makes it so much harder to show you're gender identity . she's ignoring how much it hurts to keep heading in the male direction trying so hard to make them see the real you but it isn't until you're at the far end of that spectrum and then suddenly "butch lesbian" and that's it!!! um like nope, asexual transman here but than they just shout "triggered" at me and tell me to go back tumbler, I don't even have a fucking tumbler account, asshole!!!! Sometimes being invisible hurts just as much as being hated even if it is safer. Just because we have the freedom to express ourselves more openly doesn't change the internal disparity inside and sometimes just being a tomboy or a masculine female isn't enough but that's all where ever seen as. because it's so socially accepted to be a masculine female there's a pressure on you to believe this is all you are and actually considering the fact that there is something more to it just doesn't happen! If a trans woman wants to boldly and proudly state "I'm a woman!" she can just wear a dress or women's clothing and makeup and be a woman and while she'll get some hate she'll also get some support. But I've been instinctively dressing from the men's department almost my entire life and nobody knew I was trans not even me!!! all of those wasted years of not being or even knowing my true self!!! So now what do I do, unless I'm completely ready to fully transition which isn't for everybody knowing this about myself changes nothing!! I'll still always appear to be a tomboy or a masculine woman I'll never feel like a man and that kind of hurts too. but I guess it's better than fearing for my life every time I leave the house so I do have to remember I am talking from a place of privilege in a sense. When simply presenting in a non-gender conforming way we definitely have an advantage but I think after we actually do come out trans men are not taken as seriously. Actually according to mainstream society we don't even exist. Because they can't paint us in the scary transphobic "creepy guy in a dress" light so we actually devalue their position they simply erase us from the conversation altogether. Again it's both a blessing and a curse I guess. Well shit, now I just sound like an asshole! I'm so sorry! I'm not making much sense but I hope somebody gets my point!
I so understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. I have friends in the exact position you are in and while out seemed at first to me as a trans woman that trans men had an easier path, the more I have met and spoken to trans men the more I realise that it is just a different set of problem equals as traumatic. I have friends who have to bind huge breasts - I know trans women who live comfortably as women and have never had to have surgery but can pass easily - trans men don't have that option - if you want to live as men you have to have some surgery. OK once a trans man decides to fully transition - testosterone will after a couple off years ensure that you can blend in easily as a man - provided you have chest reconstruction - but so many trans men I know have already had children and cannot face the social rejection of transition. I think people just don't get that most trans men and trans women never transition - they just find a way to cope - its not a perfect solution - but its the best of a set of bad options. Personally I'd like to see a breakdown of the gender binary - why not have three or five genders - or hey - why not a thousand different genders. why cant we all be ourselves and be somewhere between male and female on a continuum - pan gender and pan sexual. at least then even though that does not fully solve the problem of feeling that we have the wrong body - it makes the coping strategies more tolerable.
A very good explanation. question though, when it comes to transgender individuals, would it be less important for someone to physically transition if society was more open to accepting someone identifying as a gender other than their binary or presenting themselves as a non binary gender? Say a male identifies with female more than male, but has no dysphoria with his male body. Is there any reason for this person to transition?
+Kathleen Szabo Excellent question Kathleen. Gosh - this is a big one. Right now there appear to be many more male to female trans people than female to male. - its about 80% MtF and 20% FtM though there is evidence that this is changing. Also less than 5% of trans people even transition - but again this is changing fast. So if the current gender fluid trend continues what will happen. The term transgender was originally coined to describe someone who chose to live in the gender opposite to their birth gender but not to have surgery. Clearly there are some transpeople who have severe gender dysphoria - extreme distress with having the wrong body and for them the only option is to undergo gender reassignment surgery - or end their lives. But there are many more who wish to express themselves in a way that does not conform to the gender norm - but do not feel the need to change their bodies - or perhaps they are happy to undergo hormone therapy but not surgery - or perhaps they want some surgery - like chest reconstruction or breast implants but do not nee to have genital reconstruction. At the moment there is a lot of special and medical pressure towards an all or nothing solution which I think is wrong. I think you are probably right - with greater social acceptance of gender fluidity perhaps more of the closet transpeople will fee able to be themselves but will be happy with their bodies if they can express themselves more appropriately. Perhaps what we will see is a new third (or even more_ gender) an alternative to either male or female. There are already societies that have this and there is historical evidence of this in the past so it does make a lot of sense.
Thankyou for this talk, Rikki. You have a great sense of humour which helps lighten things up a little for people who might feel uncomfortable with this topic, which needs to be discussed!
What part of science do you not understand. There is xx and xy. God created them male and female. Your problem is that you've rejected the Knowledge of God Repent and accept Jesus Christ as your saviour and you'll begin to think clearly and properly. Sin always brings confusion, and clearly you are confused.
The only thing I'm not sure about here is the idea it's harder for men to come out as women. Yes with clothes, as was said, but as ftm I have never been taken seriously by any doctor. Tried since I was 15 (am double that now) but they refuse to take my baby incubator away because I'm a woman and should breed. My partner however was taken seriously on her first visit to her doc to start reassignment from mtf. I don't understand this. :( The public trans women I know get high fived and complimented. Trans guys get, ha, yeah right. So is my experience.)
I do understand your challenge Ser. I acknowledge that transmit do get a raw deal from the medical profession and that transition and especially gender reassignment surgery is a much longer, more difficult, more complex and painful process than mtf. Its the social transition where I think trans women have a more difficult time and that seems to be born out by the significant difference in the number of people identifying as trans women compared to trans men. It is easier for a trans man to pass, or even to simply continue to identify as a woman yet largely live as if a man - although I accept that often means being perceived or identifying as a butch lesbian. The reason I commented pin this is because of the difference in numbers of trans men compared to trains women. I cannot believe that this difference is a reality, especially having seen how many trans men sought help when I ran a support organisation, and the number of women I come across who tell me they would transition if it were not for their parents, children, friends, work etc etc - Fear of humiliation or embarrassment is a very real problem and if a woman has children, mores I think than for a man which ics illustrated by the huge number of men who came out as trans and transition late in life.
Rikki Arundel It's a tricky one isn't it love? Yes I can "get away with" wearing male clothes but I'm still seen as female. And we can't know about the social side until more of us are in the open I suppose. Docs need to take us seriously for that though. I just see mtf's being accepted in ways I'm laughed at for. (Including by docs.) Really though I'm being refused help to transition and I wonder how many other ftm's are being refused and being confused with "not having to transition". As for humiliation, it's more the people around us feeling humiliated who then attack us with shame that's more of a problem. I could never tell my father for example. Incidentally, my (also trans) wife to be says it's reassuring to get a well thought out reply from an intelligent person on UA-cam for a change. Think you made her day. :)
Rikki Arundel Actually, would it be okay if I PM'd you at all? I live in a place that has no gender support at all. Would be nice if it did. Kind of relying on UA-cam etc at the minute. Would be nice to speak to someone who's run a group before. :)
No problem - to be honest there is not a lot of support anywhere these days - I'm not a counsellor - my partner is so I may point you to her - but in the first instance - just check out my website at www.genderspeaker.com - there is a contact form there and lets see how I can help.
I believe in respect and equal rights, I don't think is needed to change a whole society to change this mentality. I also believe that labels separate people because it creates a sense of groups. Once people start to understand their self as human beings (same group) with different necessities the world will start to get better.
I’m sure you are a decent person. But please don’t lie about your intentions here. It is not complicated.... people just need to treat people with courtesy and decency even if they disagree with each other.
I am not sure why you think I would not treat everyone with dignity and respect. My intentions were very clear - to try to help people to understand that some people experience gender differently.
A man identifies and is dressed, as what a prudent and reasonable person would consider female, is speaking on rigid rules. Why does she wear some board shorts and a sports bra? I just don't get the logic of taking away gender but then identifying oneself as....
Thas because this is not about logic - its emotional. All social identity is about us identifying with a tribe of people we fee comfortable being part of. I did not feel comfortable with the identity male - and found identifying as female felt right. Sadly that means that my experiences are not the same as cis gender woman - as a result I end up somewhere between male and female. But then we don't have any language or official terms to describe that place. We only have sets of binary terms and I have to choose between two terms neither of which really work - I have to choose between two forms of clothing neither of which really work. This takes us into the complex area of social identity theory. What we need to do is to start recognising that a gender binary is out of date. We need to expand out language to accommodate a much greater variety of genders and sexualities which became difficult when there is a strong lobby of religious zealots who want to take us back 2000 years instead of trying to move forward.
+Rikki Arundel and this is what I am talking about. A conversation to be had. I appreciate you taking the time to explain. I am of the type to be extremely open minded but sometimes get confused when some groups impose certain elements that don't make sense. but I think all we can do is continue to have a conversation.
Part of presenting more "feminine" .. is self-protection from harm. I identify as a "walks-between". I feel that I am both male and female, and at the same time, neither male nor female. It is safer for me to dress and present at the binary extremes, rather than androgynously or in a "confusing manner". Thanks for your curiosity, HALFAMAZINGTV.
The problem I see with this is the rising popularity of criticism of people who disagree with this movement. As well as the compulsion of certain language. Which doesn't work constitutionally. Not to discredit anybody's feelings.
I find it humorous as well as frustrating how some act as if it's a huge effort to accommodate our very simple requests. If we misgender a cis woman and she corrects us we go "oh sorry, she" and carry on as if nothing had happened no matter how butch and hairy and deep voiced she might be. Why does it magically become rocket science if a trans woman requests the same courtesy? And how is it OK for people to go under the knife for vanity but if we do it to alleviate genuine suffering we're deemed the crazy ones? All this resistance to trans folk being respected like everyone else is nothing but irrational fear.
Bravo! I am looking for as much information as I can find on the genetic influence of our fetal development as possible . I feel the more society understands of the valid medical reasons why we identify with who we are the less pressure it feels (as a whole ) to classify transgenderism ? as a fetish or disorder . We cant change who we are neurologically but we can adjust our presentation to reflect our gender identities . More importantly than conforming to norms is the need to be happy with ourselves so that rather than being outcast we can contribute to society as would any other ( good ) person does.Thank You for your delightful speech
I was born male and today I still identify as male. Why? Well I heard there's privilege for guys Though I'm still waiting to find that rumored "privilege"...
I didn't say I wanted it back - I'm happy to join other women in the fight to remove the social bias that privileges men, a fight I was already engaged in long before I decided to face the challenges of changing gender. That said I do know of a number of trans women who have done exactly as you suggest - they were unable to cope with the loss of privilege and have reverted to living as men.
Males do have male privilege, definitely. But women have female privilege too in inverse ways. Men historically have more respect and freedoms but they have the burden of more responsibilities and pressure. Women historically have less respect and less freedom but also less pressure and fewer responsibilities.
To anyone who leaves a hate comment here: I hope you know that the things you say has consequences and the hurt that you are putting out stems from within. No one who has got the meaning of life would take their time to leave horrible comment online.
Omg I love her, she is the one thing I need ( I am secretly trans) and I am genuinely scared, but she is the guiding light and it is nice to know someone czres
Thank you so much Miss Rikki, I almost heard myself there. I also got my womanity back at fifty so it shows and since I live in a small town I knew I would surely be the first trans a lot of pêople would see so I sincerely thought that my difference would make me an interesting phenomenon, a subject of curiosity... Well, it didn't really happen that way, I lost family, friends and no one dares show interest so once I had my emotions figured out I concluded that my generation instinctively rejects non-conformity so... Let's teach our children that different is interesting and let's start as young as possible, only then trans people, natives, rich or poor, french or japanese, happy or sad will all be brothers and sisters, forever. Cheers, Rose.
So I call someone a guy, they want to be identified as a girl. I'm harassing them? I am not violating that person's dignity. "Dignity is the right of a person to be valued and respected for their own sake, and to be treated ethically." I still value and respect the person. What exactly makes gender a "relevant protected characteristic" if they are biologically a male or female? I'm open to have someone change my mind. I challenge someone to change my mind with facts, data and percentages. Biased opinions or feelings aren't going to change my mind.
Lack of self knowledge brings birth to a host of misconceptions about anything that sorrounds us and we quickly learn to justify and hastily explain our viewpoint as a consolation for that lack. A simple check on the life of such personns can show the causes that led to that direction. Usually boils to lazyness of mind being the primal culprit which pushes such people to busy themselfs with every useless and futile topic they find within the reach of their hungry-for-whatever-the-wind-brings mind, as an attempt to feel important and special. Perhaps it would be very good for the existence of such people to put them and learn how to work with earth. At least this would clear and quice their minds and then suddenly the answers to real questions will come and the faulse questions will disappear as if they never existed.
Good talk initiating a number of questions and including a frightening definition of harassment which could include all social interaction. I think I was always happy with what some people define as gender identity but the more I learn the less I understand. Everything feels unnecessarily complex and unnecessarily complicated.
It's all very simple as long as everyone fits neatly into the binary of gender boxes identifying as either male or female - moving from one to the other is even quite easy to grasp. But as soon as we move out of the box - nothing makes sense anymore because we are still trying to explain everything relative to the gender binary. Let go of the binary and accept that maybe there are more than two genders - that maybe there are hundreds of different genders and everything becomes easier to understand again. Of course that does rather mess up the religions which are still based on how people lived two or three thousand years ago. Perhaps it's time to let go of some of these rather outdated social rules and move into the 21st century.
You can't change your gender. And I don't believe that people are asking you whether you're a man or woman; I think they're telling you "Sir, you cannot go into the women's restroom because you're a man". They're not the ones confused. But if you can't even give a definition for "man" or "woman", you're the confused one. Also, no, you shouldn't be speaking to children about this, whether they ask about it or not.
+Rikki Arundel Ok thank you so much! Loved the video! I'm doing a presentation on your TED talk in a few weeks, I'm hoping to get the message across to my classmates ;)
Interesting to watch. Great presentation. Really enjoyed listening to this speaker. Still not convinced that a person's philosophy of gender is an accurate way to identify gender. Still think biologically people are male or female. The argument presented seems to display that the speaker has stereotyped how men or women think and then concluded that he thinks more like a female; thus he identifies as a female. The reality is that if he was born with male genitalia and he feels he thinks similarly to the way women think; that doesn't make him a women, it just means he is thinking. It seems he boxed his philosophical framework into how men and women think, and than identified himself according to his own perceived framework. In reality, he is just a man who has thoughts and is simply attempting to justify his desire to identify as a women. At the very end where he encourages others to cross-dress is an attempt to validate how he thinks as being correct. I disagree and I think it confuses younger people. The speaker also appeals to gender being determined by how he "feels," which is an irrational basis for determining gender. People can "identify" as a different gender, but they are still biologically a male or female from birth. The "gender identity" isn't the truth of their gender but simply a philosophical framework constructed for themselves; completely subjective and doesn't line up with an objective reality. Subjectively gender is based on feelings and people own versions of what's true to them. Objectively gender is based upon biological evidence of a persons genitalia from birth. Simply put, the speaker is a male but likes to dress as a women and wants those feelings validated by society. I love the speaker, but I disagree that men should dress as women. Men don't dress as women because it confuses children and makes them question if gender is real or a mental state as explained in this video. An explaining to children the mutilation of your genitalia to switch biological genders is incredible disturbing for them. Very cruel to put that imagery in the head of children for the sake of your own personal agenda. It also encourages children to mutilate themselves to switch genders. The presentation was interesting, but I am still convinced that "gender identity" is an attempt to escape what someone was born into. I understand that there is a perceived "freedom" in being able to identify as different genders. Seems like a logical thing when a person has no objective basis for why they ought to be the gender they were born with. All reality is subjective and personal preference as explained by the speaker. Unless you believe in an objective authority that is more than a persons opinion; which is only possible if God exists. "Gender identity" is rational to a person who denies Gods existence, but is clearly irrational to a person who believes that God exists because God would be an objective standard to this issue. Without God there is no objective standard. The topic of gender identity is a clear side effect of a person not having any objective perception of reality, living in a completely subjective state of mind. Don't believe this gender identity non-sense, what it preaches to fix is a lie. You were born biologically as a male or a female. God has a plan and purpose for your life. He wants to use you. God takes the lost, the heavy burdened and gives them rest. Do not trust what society tells you because they are the blind leading the blind. Just as this speaker thought it perfectly fine to explain the mutilation of a persons genitalia to children. Pick up your Bible or download a Bible app on your phone. Ask Jesus Christ into your heart, and learn the objective truth about life. You don't have to be lost, God can find you and shine his light on you. God leaves the 99 who are already saved, just to find you, the one who is lost. He is the good Sheppard and takes care of his flock. This speaker does not care for you, he cares for his own personal agenda.
I have to give it to you. You had me in the first half. Then you mentioned a Deity and it quickly went south XD On the rest i think on one hand you are on to something. But on the other hand you might be missing something. Hmm
I might have missed that part, but what do you think about the Canadian law where using the wrong pronoun to adress to someone is against the law and you can get punished for it?
Why didn't it occur to him to say to children who asked about his genitalia, 'that's not an appropriate topic to discuss with a stranger.' A normal person talking about their genitals to children would be accused of grooming. Why is this bloke given a free-pass? It's because people are embarrassed or scared to challenge his behaviour for fear of being called transphobic or prejudiced. The result is that a serious problem that might be a mental health issue, a personality disorder, or just the behaviour of a sociopath is able to proliferate unchecked.
Hey, I'm trying to figure this out: If men were allowed to dress and act like a 'tomgirl' the way women can be a 'tomboy', would there be less of these different gender identities? Because it seems like creating a different identity was trying to make up for the lack men as 'tomgirls'. I'm trying to understand this.
Good question. Part of the problem is that we don't say 'tomgirl' - the opposite to 'tomboy' is 'sissy'. statistics indicate that about 80% of trans people are male to female - however, over the past decade that has been changing with a huge increase in female to male trans people seeking clinical support and that has led to the backlash against trans people by some radical feminists. The biggest problem for trans people is the lack of social acceptance. If it were socially OK for men to express themselves in a feminine way would that result in fewer trans women wanting to undergo surgery? Possibly. There are certainly more people beginning to identify as non-binary - though some of them are still seeking surgery and/or hormone treatment. We all seem to have an overwhelming need to 'fit in' - to be part of the 'in-group'. So if there is a large enough new tribe or in-group for me to join perhaps I won't need to fit in to the majority male or female in-groups. The reality is that it's likely that there will eventually be more gender identities rather than less as we construct more social identities that I can choose from.
I am a transman & I fear that I won't be allowed to wear heels & skirts, as soon as people read me male.. So I wonder if I should transition, because I like to express myself feminin & i am a man! 🥺 She shows up for all man, who want to be themselves. She shows up for me 🤲 thank you, love.
Talking about the end of the video here, so basically i should have to go out and make myself uncomfortable so you dont have to feel insecure or bullied? Why should i have to make myself feel "insecure" because you dont have the self esteem to deal with the "bullying." You are the one who accepted the gender change? shouldnt you be prepared for the so called harassment?
You don't have to do anything. The point was, if you want to understand and help make others understand and accept... It's a call to action. A way the audience can help. A very basic element of a good presentation. Well done and funny to boot.
Are you suggesting that bullying is OK? If anyone is different from the majority it's OK for the majority to bully them? So if a muslim woman lives in a largely Christian community it's ok to bully her from being different. If someone lives in a city where they are in a minority is it OK for the majority to bully and harass them for being different. Most people who change gender can simple blend in and no-one would know - but a few of us look trans - why should we be bullied just because we want to dress and act in a way that if more comfortable for us just because that is different. We are not harming anyone just getting on with life. So if you have a problem with this YES it is you who has to change because in a civilised society BULLYING and HARASSMENT are WRONG.
+Rikki Arundel I'm not saying that bullying is alright. I'm saying why should i have to go out and change my ways because you decided to change yours? I'm not responsible for your actions. You know the consequences that comes with getting a gender change, so why do I have to change my ways because you cant handle the consequences?
" You know the consequences that comes with getting a gender change..." OK so what are those consequences. I change my gender and as far as you or anyone else is concerned all that happens is that I wear different clothes. Sadly because when I was young the option of changing early was not really available I hid how I felt and tried to live as a man. When I finally found the courage to change it was difficult if not impossible to completely hide the fact that I was born with a male body - and it is that which has led to years of discrimination, harassment and bullying. Are those the consequences that come with getting a gender change - being bullied because I cannot hide the fact that I was born with a male body? I am not asking you to change anything - just allow me to be me. Allow me to wear whatever I chose to wear without ridiculing me, or attacking me, or harassing me. And allow me to use an appropriate public convenience when I need to. I am not a threat and there is no evidence that trans people are a threat. If someone passes - i.e. they look completely and convincingly the men or women they wish to be no-one will even notice them - it's only if we can't hide deep voices, or large hands or breasts that the problems start. Can you imagine how scary it is for us always wondering if some bigot is going to challenge us and humiliate us in public because we don't "pass". Terrified to walk down a street alone in case we get attacked. Frightened to be near children in public in case someone shouts pedo. We just want to get on with out lives without fear - and all you have to do if you cannot accept us is just ignore us and let us get on with our lives.
+Rikki Arundel Honestly i don't care if people get gender changes. its not my problem, but i just don't think the 99.9% should have to change for the .01%. And like you said most people don't notice it. but if they do and on the very rare occasion they say something in public (online does NOT count). Let it go, i mean if i lived off of what people called me i would have turned out horrible! learn how to defend yourself, don't have a pity party because someone called you something. if you guys wouldn't bring problems where there aren't any, you really wouldn't have problems at all. because like you said no one would notice. dont complain if there arent any lgbt people in a movie, or dont put yourself out there that you are a trans person. people would ignore you guys. mans heart is born evil deep down, i believe. so there will always be rude people. so dont put yourself out there to get attacked. that's why i don't believe i should have to change to fit your needs.
Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual preference and no one is forcing anything on you - you choose how to present yourself. Forcing any sexual activity on anyone is a crime - whatever your sexual preferences. if you fee intimidate or harassed by my presence then it is y9u who has a problem. I sometimes feel intimidated by the presence loud and aggressive people, but unless that aggression is directed towards me no crime has been committed and I have to deal with my fears.
at birth I was labeled as a male human, in actuality I self identify as a female Tennessee walker horse. It is so hurtful when people don't see me and accept me for what I am. 😣
A must-watch, this video is fantastic! Rikki Arundel takes us through gender identity as a simplicity all of us can easily understand. Humorously adding a lighter side that keeps you watching, and suddenly understanding just how complex the question is it male or female can be.
It’s ironic that the ad that played before this video for me was a product called “Dude Wipes”. Anyway, this type of thinking , and all its variations stem from self-centered people with “issues” playing make believe. No I don’t celebrate this nonsense. Yes, I can hear the name calling from those who disagree. The intolerance in the name of tolerance is something to behold!
12:43 "Because that's the penalty for failing to comply"
Calling it out like that instead of using more socially safe terms completely changed how I view the entire gender spectrum.
Reply to DamnMyfetish (no reply button available)
Why is it that people with less than a smattering of understanding of complex issues don’t hesitate to add their shallow pool of thought to a debate?
First - gender identity is NOT the same as sexuality and a person’s phenotype (their external appearance including genitalia) does not influence gender identity. During gestation, male human genitalia begins to differentiate from the base model of female at around the 6th week, triggered by the embryo’s Y chromosome.
I in 200 births presents an infant whose anatomy differs from the standard male and female. I in 2000 live births is a child with complex, ambiguous genitalia. It requires further tests to ascertain whether the child is chromosomally male or female. Even when we have the answer, none of this determines the child’s later gender identity, it is the BRAIN which decides. Some people can be born with what looks like male secondary sexual characteristics yet their brain has developed anatomically as female - post-mortem examination of the brain has given us an insight into the basis of gender identity and it is NOT the external anatomy as such.
! in 1000 people (most of whom identify as male) are born with an extra X chromosome (47, XXY). As a result they do not secrete enough testosterone to go through a typcal male puberty. In consequence, they develop breasts, their body shape is feminine, their voice does not break and they are unable to grow facial and male-pattern body hair. This does not mean that they will ID as female. Some do, but I repeat, gender identity is NOT dictated by the body.
I have worked with many young people who are diagnosed with this condition (Klinefelter Syndrome). I have also worked with young people who externally appear to be anatomically male, However, their brain has developed along female lines & vice versa - i.e. female’ anatomy contradicted by a male identity. Yet another condition reveals an individual who presents with intact external male genitalia and identifies as male, yet tests reveal that internally he possesses rudimentary female reproductive organs (uterus & fallopian tubes). Should the sex police then tell him that HE is actually SHE because of his internal organs or should they insist he is male becasue he has a penis and scrotum?
Before those who dismiss the facts leap to write about their concept of ‘normality’ I suggest that they should attend university for 5 years (as I did) qualify with a doctorate (as I did) and spend 4 years in research (as I did) and then work for 16+ years with the very people I have described above (as I have done) and then perhaps you will be able to write about such matters with more authority. Even better, keep an open mind and spend some time with the very people I describe above. You may learn something more useful than uninformed prejudice.
You wrote better what I looked in videos, thank you for your detailed explanation. Also I’m trans so this feels very validating. Have a nice day
Gender identity isn’t important. Be yourself not a caricature of what you think a woman is or a man is. It’s incredibly sexist to women that you think we all just like pink, shoes, and makeup. Also, participate in your own sports please, pave your own path just like real women did.
Did you hear about the brain and self awareness part?
@@i3ignorantidelweb43Male brains aren’t competing in women’s sports or walking into women’s protected spaces. It’s male bodies. I have no issue with males getting whatever cosmetic medical interventions they want, wearing clothes traditionally sold to women, and changing their name. They just don’t get to take away protections and opportunities women fought for decades to create for female people.
10/10 great explanation, great incorporation of humour, and your voice is amazing to listen to. I was a little disappointed that you didn't really talk about non-binary people, but other than that I think you hit all the important points, in a very clear and concise way.
+EmoRainbow Thank you for you lovely comments. This talk was delivered in October 2014 when non-binary was just emerging into main stream. It is amazing just how much has changed in the past year. I had started introducing non binary and bi gender into my workshops in 2014 - and now it is a significant topic - but one that most cis gendered people really struggle with. Most people still think transsexual when they thence amour any gender variance. And when you look at the hight profile trans people in 2015 it was all about how well they pass and surgery - we have a long way to go.
+Rikki Arundel wow please stop making up stuff for these mentally ill people so they can play make believe.
+Donny boy gonna Trump the World
There's no food here, troll
Of course The only close se minded ass hole in the comments is a trump supporter👍😂
Donny boy gonna Trump the World not a trump fan yet it's pretty accurate what he says. This is a philosophical debate not a scientific one
This is such an interesting topic; thank you for sharing! But one of your comments really struck me. You said to one of the guys here " But what would you do if your daughter started wanting to wear boys
clothes, wanted to change her name to a boys name, refused to wear
dresses, insisted on playing soccer or football..." I did all of those things as a little girl. My mother couldn't even put a bow in my hair without me screaming. I played soccer/football starting at 6 years old and continued all the way through university. I played many sports, actually. You can't possibly be saying that I was a boy because of that, right? I was always considered a girl with my own special interests. I was a tomboy, yes (and be careful if you use that word in Thailand because it has a very different meaning there that I found out the hard way, haha) but girls and women can do a wide variety of things and have many interests. That doesn't define my gender. I do enjoy wearing dresses and skirts now, but that's because soccer players have nice legs haha. But seriously, I am happy that no one started encouraging me to change my gender when I was younger. I've always been proud of being a strong woman. Just because a child starts acting like a person who has interests that are not exactly what had previously been considered to be traditionally of the opposite gender does not mean that they are of the wrong gender.
lovekai88 When anyone changes gender it is, or should be, only because that is what they want to do. The clinical assessments we go through are designed to determine if we do have gender dysphoria.
Of course being female bodied does give you a social advantage that you could express masculinity without facing too much humiliation and bullying. Born with a male body I did not have that advantage. If I had worn skirts and dresses and makeup as a child I would have faced huge problems - and still would today, although it is getting better.
What I would like to see is a change of attitude that allows children to express themselves in any way they choose without harassment. At the same time where a child appears to have gender dysphoria, they need to get the support that enables them to avoid the effects of puberty and be supported to make the right decision about their body. If someone is trans the worst possible outcome is being forced to endure the devastating and permenant impact of puberty in the "wrong" body.
We need a complete overhaul of our understanding of gender and learn from the cultures where as many as 5 or more different genders are accepted.
lovekai88 That's a valid point. The difference however is that (I assume) you never had or expressed not being or hating being a girl, or a feeling of being or wanting to be a boy, did you? Tomboys and trans guys have many similarities, there just isn't an example like that for boys and trans women. Yet it's ok to be a tomboy. I'm a trans guy and I was always allowed to be a tomboy but the moment I hit puberty and asked if someone could cut my breasts off and expressed disgust with my curves and my name then that was waved off as just teenage angst. So I guess she gave those examples because that's the first thing a parent will notice. Sometimes it'll just be a tomboy but it's good to listen to the child and not be ashamed of it even if they turn out to be trans.
lovekai88 That's a valid point. The difference however is that (I assume) you never had or expressed not being or hating being a girl, or a feeling of being or wanting to be a boy, did you? Tomboys and trans guys have many similarities, there just isn't an example like that for boys and trans women. Yet it's ok to be a tomboy. I'm a trans guy and I was always allowed to be a tomboy but the moment I hit puberty and asked if someone could cut my breasts off and expressed disgust with my curves and my name then that was waved off as just teenage angst. So I guess she gave those examples because that's the first thing a parent will notice. Sometimes it'll just be a tomboy but it's good to listen to the child and not be ashamed of it even if they turn out to be trans.
I personally am torn about postponing puberty, as dealing with kids is less straightforward. Then again if I'd been strong enough to press the matter and had been taken seriously back then I would definitely be grateful if my puberty hadn't happened and I could have gone through it later with testosterone. But now I have to go through it twice... I realise this is more important for trans women as their puberty does more damage less of which is reversible.
I was that way too. As someone who believes gender is just a social construct (like the person in the video said), I'm confused by the prevalence of gender stereotypes when it comes to trans people. On one hand saying gender isn't real, & on the other hand saying "I feel I'm female, therefore I will wear dresses and blouses". That's basically saying that dresses/blouses = female
Nobody encourages anybody to change their gender. And if you had been encouraged, you would have been forbidden to transition because it's highly unlikely you meet the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria.
Stop trivializing other people's experiences, and stop imagining that you've been through anything trans people have
Thanks for this. As a woman who has always been on the tomboy side of things, I've been extremely confused about why someone would feel the need to actually change genders. I've looked at gender as unimportant because I'll do what I want, regardless of whether it's considered appropriate for a woman. But I can see that this is more difficult for men to do without extreme harassment and violence.
I think this is why 80% if trans people from surveys are male to female. I know a number of women who which they had been born male - but are able to cope without coming out as trans. Women don't need to spend years crossdressing in secret - because you can cross dress and no one really notices.
It is possible that the physical advantages of being born with an XY chromosome comes with some extra social responsibility. 30% more muscle mass and more bone density may come with some strings attached?
@@RikkiArundel My psychology dr. Cross dresses like a man and I noticed
I still don't see the point of changing your gender, mostly because it isn't possible. The only reason I think you could bother is to avoid harassment when you cross dress and than it's not even about how you feel it's to avoid judgement and conflict. People just need to accept that you can't "change" your gender and it's really just personality.
"Challenge these rigid and stupid rules!"
Brilliant speech passionately delivered, thank you Rikki.
Yes, al those stupid rules, the new rules are now that people must use the gender jargon.
There are people who are using their slang, botanists using Latin, but they don't impose that everybody must speaks Latin by low.
+bruno “brunozoekteenjob” zoekteenjob Nobody mocks, isolates, or endangers the safety of people speaking Latin. That is how to accurately apply your analogy, as you appeared to have missed the point of this speech.
If you can respect a transgender, or any varient non-binary gendered person, as you would a person who happens to be speaking in a different language such as Latin, that would be the entire point she was making.
NinjaJanie You refered to the person as "she".. today, in Canada that is counted as hate speech and you can go to jail for it.. because although you see the outward appearance of a woman, you have probably misgendered and even if you didn't mean to misgender.. you can still go to jail for it. Its law.. check it out. Welcome to gender hell.
Karen Ohana provide one real life example of where someone’s gone to jail for misgendering by accident then!!! Purleeeeease!!!!
Great, wonderful speech. Will remember this for a long time
I want to hug you, you are great.
So now when a women gives birth to a baby and asks the doctor "is it a boy or a girl?" the doctor needs to respond "we won't know for quite some time".
Exactly - about 2 to 3 years in fact
Well for pronouns I think it's safe to assume they are cisgender until they are older and understand their gender.
KoatsAndGoats TheEdgyGoat they are born the same gender they'll be for the rest of their lives.
The fact that that is a issue for people is weird to me. Babies are babies, the differences really shouldn't matter when they are that young. Try thinking about all the ways you think that boy or girl label is important and you'll realize it isn't necessary except that we'd need pre-gendered pronouns. And that isn't very difficult either.
@@samb906Biology doesn’t wait years to kick in. The difference in reproductive anatomy matters immediately. Pretending that it’s irrelevant will lead to poorer care being given to children.
I did not want this video to end. She has such an amazing voice. The world needs more people like her.
actually, YOU did that. if you paid attention to the video you would know this WOMAN identifies as such; the information was given, no assumption necessary. however, the fact that you've misgendered her means you do not have the information and yet have cast a label upon her. yours is the assumption...and to refer to a person as "it" is rather dehumanizing.
He
He*
He
Present yourself anyway you want. Man/woman girl /boy I personally don’t care . Dress however you like 👍. If people don’t accept you that’s their problem.
What I don't get is the necessity of a label at all, even in the case of dating websites you're selecting genitals not filtering for a system of behaviors.
We label things to make it easier to talk about them. Sadly when we label we also create stereotypes and that is where the problem lies and where your comment fails. The label gender is about identity not biology. Calling myself a Trans Woman says nothing about my genitals - It tells you only that I was born male and now identify as female. In the UK and many countries I can legally identify as female without even having any form or clinical treatment.
You apply the label woman to someone no on the basis of their biological sex, but on the basis of their gender appearance - if they look like a woman then we label them a woman - of they look like a man then we label them a man. But what do we do if it is not entirely clear - does it matter if we cannot determine whether a person is male or female.
The problem is that we don't labels to describe someone who is neither male nor female - and than makes talking about them difficult - we can use plural pronouns, they, them or the neutral pronoun it, though using it to refer to a human is considered impolite, or offensive.
***** But it sounds to me like you are arguing for stereo types.
Female in appearance could mean anything from has breasts to wearing a dress. When in reality we've had tomboys to valley girls as an ever growing spectrum less of gender expression and more of personal expression.
To clarify my confusion since you seem to be one to talk about these things.
It sounds as though you advocate a label for behaviors indicative of individuals rather than biological groups, which sounds impossible to me because eventually we would have as many labels as their are people. So why seek having them at all for any one and instead just relegate these labels to the area of medicine which is the only case I can conceive of where your gender might play a role in treatment.
Yes, I will admit it is easy to fall into the trap of promoting gender stereotypes which was definitely not my intention. The challenge for trans people is that if we want to avoid harassment we often have to "pass" as one gender or the other so we are to a degree forced to adopt gender stereotypes.
For cic gender women the challenge is not so great because it is increasingly acceptable to present a "tomboy" appearance. The range of clothing and appearance for women has broadened so much that it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to dress in an identical way to a masculine man and for that appearance to be considered just another form of female dress.
If a man even wears a dress or skirt that has been designed for men - they are likely to be harassed and humiliated. we are now seeing the emergence of more and more labels to describe and define people such as non binary, bi gendered, androgyne, etc - yet when I interview people about this topic most don't like any of the labels and prefer to identify as something different.
Kate Bernstein in her book Gender Outlaw suggested that perhaps there is a gender for everyone - which does negate the very idea of labelling gendered appearance - Why do we need to label people?
Does it matter if you are male or female, masculine or feminine - are those terms becoming labels that only describe extreme concepts of gender expression or sexual identity. Perhaps in actuality we all fall somewhere on a continuum between male and female, masculine and feminine.
I certainly support the idea of a culture where gender is abandoned, and where your body shape ad parts are irrelevant - a culture where we are all pan gender and pan sexual.
Black Knight Fool Not Sure if Rikki will return but that's the point I was less bluntly dancing around,.
The idea of relegating gender to a simple medical label I think suffers from perhaps the unwanted baggage of years of gender based identification, which seems more beneficial to shirk rather than replacing with a laundry list of genders. Though if you read their last note I think the feeling is mutual that a good end point to this discussion would be to simply step away from any unnecessary labeling to begin with.
Happy new year my resolution is to start a trend of including tl;dr lines in posts though I have had fun reading and responding thus far in this curiously stimulating UA-cam comment thread.
She's such a good public speaker and has an interesting personality
he
+Hig Hig According to science this person is a she. Now please take your religious nonsense somewhere else, thank you :)
+TheIcelandicPatriot this is scientific not religous
Hig Hig Not at all.
Scientists from over a dozen countries from four continents have confirmed that trans peoples white matter count is that of the gender they say they are.
It's been a proven fact for the past decade so this is nothing new.
Scientists from every continent say that your chromosomes define you gender and has been proven for longer than a decade this isn't new either
So many amazing points.
It really resonated with me what she said about girls/women being able to adopt the dress of a boy/man and not be categorized as gender variant, whereas a man with the same degree of crossover would be.
I fit into the spectrum that's identified as the female gender, but it's such a broader spectrum I hardly think that means much of anything. If we did collect stats accounting for the point she made, I'm positive I would be classified as gender variant. But because of the mechanics of our world and the two gender roles, I have never been treated as a deviant for loving to wear baseball caps and men's t-shirts. Even with short hair, I can wear quite a broad array of "men's" fashion without my gender identity being scrutinized, nor my liking of those things criticized.
Hate to break the news to you but there are only two genders and this is verified by biology. If you are utterly insane enough to think being female means nothing you need to seek treatment for alot more than gender confusion.
She said “6 in 1,000 = 6%.” I’m trying to better understand the science behind gender dysphoria. This did not help, unfortunately.
Great talk , l do not agree with everything you said but it was a real pleasure listening to your intelligent speech.
Great sensible and engaging speaker. Nice to hear someone discuss gender and trans issues without just spouting the standard and often I'll founded terms and official doctrines of the new millennium gender ideology
So Amazing!!! And So true. Coming out as nonbinary, masculine expressing has made my life so much better, even if I have to fight the negativity. To be treated as a person as myself is really the only desire I have. Thanks for your advocacy and I hope to be in you shoes someday.
We can break the prison of gender identity by conforming to it?
+Rikki Arundel, as a mother of Andy soon to morph into who he was really borned, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. He is loved by both myself and his Dad, and we support him on his journey from FtM. Thank you and a hug!
Great talk!! As an older Transwoman I agree with every word you have said..... What amuses me is when gender specialists ask what toys you played with as a child....I had an electric train set which ran off the mains & was fascinated by the electric current, but I also had a doll as a relative was a doll maker. My favourite xmas present was a Rupert Bear Annual. But most of all as a child & & up to the age of 12ish was my collection of foreign stamps. I noticed that my grandchildren have none of these things, they have computers & I am not sure that I approve !!
It's one thing to be born a hermaphrodite, then allowing that child to grow and decide which gender they're most comfortable with. It's an entirely different one when the child is born male or female. In that aspect the parents and child grow along with each other in the traditional concept. As far as the pink or blue that's done at birth as a simple form of discription. As a matter of FACT most hospital wrap baby in blankets that a Represent neither make or female. As the child grows and they're identity starts to form... They EVENTUALLY pick a "color' they are most drawn to
Hi Rikki
A brillant presentation.
I'm an advocate of educating on trans issues and you have done the trans people proud with this. Well done.
Ria
Thanks Ria -
I appreciate your comments
Rikki
Absolutely splendid, well delivered, and very thought provoking. Well done Rikki! This is especially important to me because I'm transgender too, and I've experienced hate crimes in my own life from my own family and even people I didn't know, despite being only 18. Breaking these rigid rules we've got set up and ending gender could open up so many possibilities and change the way people look at the world and at each other, and in my opinion that's something worth working towards.
On another topic, even if someone is transgender because of something that happened to them during development, doesn't mean that you can reverse it. some things become permanent. For example. If you learn a language before puberty, you won't have an accent. So, the language center of the mind becomes 'finalized' during puberty. So why can't the person's gender become finalized at some point in development? Because that's what I feel happened to me. I was a normal boy until age 6. From then on, I was molested, and told that I was really supposed to be a girl, that god made a mistake. So for the next 7 years, I was constantly reminded that I was really supposed to be a girl. 50 years later, I'm still stuck with this underlying feeling that I'm supposed to be a girl.
Wait the story is not clear of the outcome, as I understand you feel an urge to identify as a girl to conform expectations but in your mind you identify as a boy, am I correct?
Fantastic - its about humanity and freedom for all. Everyone should be who they want to be and still be loved. Thank you
That's what it's about on the surface, underneath it's about much more and it's not pretty.
Donna Smith except for the little matter that we will ALL stand before our Creator to give account for our lives. He will not be pleased that we are playing God in His place
Freedom for all you say, and yet you are requiring me to love who you want. What just happen to freedom for all. I'm a part of ALL and yet here you are requiring me to love who YOU say. You're welcome.
I love you for giving this talk. Thank you.
This is great. She really outlined all the basics and the issues extremely well. Thank you Rikki! This is a great primer for anyone who is curious about gender identity issues.
There are only two genders. Biology and facts don't care about your feelings
Thomas B the "feeling" are hardwired from biolagy.
He
@@zaynahmed he*?
When your a Christian but your trying to be more open minded and aware so you watch these videos
Stop calling autogynephillic men who pretend to be women she and her. Just stop!
Well - Just knowing that you support the work of Ray Blanchard is enough for me to know you are probably more than a little biased. The Clarke institute in Toronto is notoriously in favour of reparative therapies. You are clearly not trans, so why do you present views that suggest you have some understanding of the topic.
Im just a little confused about the gender assignment part of the presentation because the speaker is conforming to the female gender stereotype, wearing clothes and having hair like a female. Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't that go against the idea that gender shouldn't be categorised into boys and girls things. If gender was an issue, surely a new type of clothing should be created and new types of products for those that don't conform to genders?
My god, I love you Rikki
I loved this. I'd like to say thank you, in particular, for bringing up gender variance as it relates to transgender issues, and how the two are not the same thing. I fall into the gender variant category (genderfluid, specifically) and it's amazing how many misunderstandings trying to explain that concept can bring up.
This is important for everyone. I believe most of people dont fit 100% in their gender boxes. People are so multiple and this have something to do with freedom. Freedom to be who you are. If you put a blue cloth in your kid you saying, treat him like a boy, you're ignoring that that kid might be sensible, that kid might not enjoy competition too much and there's nothing wrong with it. It's just his personality. Even if in the future he wont dress himself with dresses and skirts, still. Children must be free to be who they are regardless of those made up rules.
Thank you for giving this talk Rikki. It is a very important issue. I worked many years of my career in Obstetric & Gynecology departments. Indefinite gender is more widespread than people understand. I hope all who hear this talk will take your advice and treat everyone with dignity and respect because if they do not they will offend someone they know without realizing it.
COULD.NOT.LOVE.THIS.MORE. WILL SHARE THIS AT OUR HIGH SCHOOL'S GSA (which we can the Radical Equity Movement - REM) THIS WEDNESDAY. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!
This is so incredibly powerful, moving, and important. For me, it struck a nerve of integrity - standing up for what I know and feel is right, Rikki, thank you for sharing this and reminding me of this. I am completely in awe and will be sharing this as widely as I can!
Delusional
I understand where she's coming from I get the point that it's a lot harder to be MTF or any AMAB that presents or identifies in any nonconforming way but I really think this is ignoring a different struggle faced by the other side.
What you have to understand is this there is a negative by product that comes with this freedom of expression that happens when you're AFAB. It makes it so much harder to show you're gender identity . she's ignoring how much it hurts to keep heading in the male direction trying so hard to make them see the real you but it isn't until you're at the far end of that spectrum and then suddenly "butch lesbian" and that's it!!! um like nope, asexual transman here but than they just shout "triggered" at me and tell me to go back tumbler, I don't even have a fucking tumbler account, asshole!!!! Sometimes being invisible hurts just as much as being hated even if it is safer. Just because we have the freedom to express ourselves more openly doesn't change the internal disparity inside and sometimes just being a tomboy or a masculine female isn't enough but that's all where ever seen as. because it's so socially accepted to be a masculine female there's a pressure on you to believe this is all you are and actually considering the fact that there is something more to it just doesn't happen!
If a trans woman wants to boldly and proudly state "I'm a woman!" she can just wear a dress or women's clothing and makeup and be a woman and while she'll get some hate she'll also get some support. But I've been instinctively dressing from the men's department almost my entire life and nobody knew I was trans not even me!!! all of those wasted years of not being or even knowing my true self!!! So now what do I do, unless I'm completely ready to fully transition which isn't for everybody knowing this about myself changes nothing!! I'll still always appear to be a tomboy or a masculine woman I'll never feel like a man and that kind of hurts too. but I guess it's better than fearing for my life every time I leave the house so I do have to remember I am talking from a place of privilege in a sense.
When simply presenting in a non-gender conforming way we definitely have an advantage but I think after we actually do come out trans men are not taken as seriously. Actually according to mainstream society we don't even exist. Because they can't paint us in the scary transphobic "creepy guy in a dress" light so we actually devalue their position they simply erase us from the conversation altogether. Again it's both a blessing and a curse I guess.
Well shit, now I just sound like an asshole! I'm so sorry! I'm not making much sense but I hope somebody gets my point!
I so understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. I have friends in the exact position you are in and while out seemed at first to me as a trans woman that trans men had an easier path, the more I have met and spoken to trans men the more I realise that it is just a different set of problem equals as traumatic.
I have friends who have to bind huge breasts - I know trans women who live comfortably as women and have never had to have surgery but can pass easily - trans men don't have that option - if you want to live as men you have to have some surgery. OK once a trans man decides to fully transition - testosterone will after a couple off years ensure that you can blend in easily as a man - provided you have chest reconstruction - but so many trans men I know have already had children and cannot face the social rejection of transition.
I think people just don't get that most trans men and trans women never transition - they just find a way to cope - its not a perfect solution - but its the best of a set of bad options.
Personally I'd like to see a breakdown of the gender binary - why not have three or five genders - or hey - why not a thousand different genders. why cant we all be ourselves and be somewhere between male and female on a continuum - pan gender and pan sexual. at least then even though that does not fully solve the problem of feeling that we have the wrong body - it makes the coping strategies more tolerable.
Wonderful, I am so glad I was assigned to watch this video with one of my college courses. Thank you!
May I know what college this is and what course?
Did you learn about John Money too?
A very good explanation. question though, when it comes to transgender individuals, would it be less important for someone to physically transition if society was more open to accepting someone identifying as a gender other than their binary or presenting themselves as a non binary gender? Say a male identifies with female more than male, but has no dysphoria with his male body. Is there any reason for this person to transition?
+Kathleen Szabo Excellent question Kathleen. Gosh - this is a big one. Right now there appear to be many more male to female trans people than female to male. - its about 80% MtF and 20% FtM though there is evidence that this is changing. Also less than 5% of trans people even transition - but again this is changing fast.
So if the current gender fluid trend continues what will happen. The term transgender was originally coined to describe someone who chose to live in the gender opposite to their birth gender but not to have surgery.
Clearly there are some transpeople who have severe gender dysphoria - extreme distress with having the wrong body and for them the only option is to undergo gender reassignment surgery - or end their lives.
But there are many more who wish to express themselves in a way that does not conform to the gender norm - but do not feel the need to change their bodies - or perhaps they are happy to undergo hormone therapy but not surgery - or perhaps they want some surgery - like chest reconstruction or breast implants but do not nee to have genital reconstruction. At the moment there is a lot of special and medical pressure towards an all or nothing solution which I think is wrong.
I think you are probably right - with greater social acceptance of gender fluidity perhaps more of the closet transpeople will fee able to be themselves but will be happy with their bodies if they can express themselves more appropriately. Perhaps what we will see is a new third (or even more_ gender) an alternative to either male or female. There are already societies that have this and there is historical evidence of this in the past so it does make a lot of sense.
Thankyou for this talk, Rikki. You have a great sense of humour which helps lighten things up a little for people who might feel uncomfortable with this topic, which needs to be discussed!
What part of science do you not understand. There is xx and xy. God created them male and female. Your problem is that you've rejected the Knowledge of God Repent and accept Jesus Christ as your saviour and you'll begin to think clearly and properly. Sin always brings confusion, and clearly you are confused.
This was seriously a great talk. I deserves more views.
You're beautiful and this is wonderful thank you for doing this for all of us who either can't or are too afraid to speak for ourselves.
No, this is sexist and horrifying.
"Beautiful"??? We must be watching different videos.
@@ems3991 Why do you think that?
Your beauty is emanating from your heart deep inside!
It’s not. Nobody cares what gender you are.
Anyone mind if I don't "challenge gender"? I have so much else on my plate. btw, this doesn't conflict in my mind with the last sentence of this talk.
the people that dont understand Simpy dont want to understand. thats the problem!
Wonderful talk
Yay sexism and misogyny...
@@ems3991 What do you mean?
The only thing I'm not sure about here is the idea it's harder for men to come out as women. Yes with clothes, as was said, but as ftm I have never been taken seriously by any doctor. Tried since I was 15 (am double that now) but they refuse to take my baby incubator away because I'm a woman and should breed. My partner however was taken seriously on her first visit to her doc to start reassignment from mtf. I don't understand this. :( The public trans women I know get high fived and complimented. Trans guys get, ha, yeah right. So is my experience.)
I do understand your challenge Ser. I acknowledge that transmit do get a raw deal from the medical profession and that transition and especially gender reassignment surgery is a much longer, more difficult, more complex and painful process than mtf. Its the social transition where I think trans women have a more difficult time and that seems to be born out by the significant difference in the number of people identifying as trans women compared to trans men.
It is easier for a trans man to pass, or even to simply continue to identify as a woman yet largely live as if a man - although I accept that often means being perceived or identifying as a butch lesbian. The reason I commented pin this is because of the difference in numbers of trans men compared to trains women.
I cannot believe that this difference is a reality, especially having seen how many trans men sought help when I ran a support organisation, and the number of women I come across who tell me they would transition if it were not for their parents, children, friends, work etc etc - Fear of humiliation or embarrassment is a very real problem and if a woman has children, mores I think than for a man which ics illustrated by the huge number of men who came out as trans and transition late in life.
Rikki Arundel It's a tricky one isn't it love? Yes I can "get away with" wearing male clothes but I'm still seen as female. And we can't know about the social side until more of us are in the open I suppose. Docs need to take us seriously for that though. I just see mtf's being accepted in ways I'm laughed at for. (Including by docs.) Really though I'm being refused help to transition and I wonder how many other ftm's are being refused and being confused with "not having to transition". As for humiliation, it's more the people around us feeling humiliated who then attack us with shame that's more of a problem. I could never tell my father for example.
Incidentally, my (also trans) wife to be says it's reassuring to get a well thought out reply from an intelligent person on UA-cam for a change. Think you made her day. :)
Rikki Arundel Actually, would it be okay if I PM'd you at all? I live in a place that has no gender support at all. Would be nice if it did. Kind of relying on UA-cam etc at the minute. Would be nice to speak to someone who's run a group before. :)
No problem - to be honest there is not a lot of support anywhere these days - I'm not a counsellor - my partner is so I may point you to her - but in the first instance - just check out my website at www.genderspeaker.com - there is a contact form there and lets see how I can help.
Rikki Arundel Thank you kindly Rikki. I'll contact you via your site. :) Having a read now. x
I believe in respect and equal rights, I don't think is needed to change a whole society to change this mentality. I also believe that labels separate people because it creates a sense of groups. Once people start to understand their self as human beings (same group) with different necessities the world will start to get better.
Thank you!
I’m sure you are a decent person. But please don’t lie about your intentions here. It is not complicated.... people just need to treat people with courtesy and decency even if they disagree with each other.
I am not sure why you think I would not treat everyone with dignity and respect. My intentions were very clear - to try to help people to understand that some people experience gender differently.
A man identifies and is dressed, as what a prudent and reasonable person would consider female, is speaking on rigid rules. Why does she wear some board shorts and a sports bra? I just don't get the logic of taking away gender but then identifying oneself as....
Thas because this is not about logic - its emotional. All social identity is about us identifying with a tribe of people we fee comfortable being part of. I did not feel comfortable with the identity male - and found identifying as female felt right.
Sadly that means that my experiences are not the same as cis gender woman - as a result I end up somewhere between male and female. But then we don't have any language or official terms to describe that place. We only have sets of binary terms and I have to choose between two terms neither of which really work - I have to choose between two forms of clothing neither of which really work.
This takes us into the complex area of social identity theory. What we need to do is to start recognising that a gender binary is out of date. We need to expand out language to accommodate a much greater variety of genders and sexualities which became difficult when there is a strong lobby of religious zealots who want to take us back 2000 years instead of trying to move forward.
+Rikki Arundel and this is what I am talking about. A conversation to be had. I appreciate you taking the time to explain.
I am of the type to be extremely open minded but sometimes get confused when some groups impose certain elements that don't make sense. but I think all we can do is continue to have a conversation.
Part of presenting more "feminine" .. is self-protection from harm. I identify as a "walks-between". I feel that I am both male and female, and at the same time, neither male nor female.
It is safer for me to dress and present at the binary extremes, rather than androgynously or in a "confusing manner".
Thanks for your curiosity, HALFAMAZINGTV.
Wonderful talk, thank you x (Mum of transgender daughter) x
The mum we all wish we had.
My mum still misgenders me and uses my dead name, and it has been 20 years.
Thanks, Mum!!!
I hope you and her are doing good! :)
Legend 27 if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.
Correction: Mum of son
The problem I see with this is the rising popularity of criticism of people who disagree with this movement. As well as the compulsion of certain language. Which doesn't work constitutionally. Not to discredit anybody's feelings.
I find it humorous as well as frustrating how some act as if it's a huge effort to accommodate our very simple requests. If we misgender a cis woman and she corrects us we go "oh sorry, she" and carry on as if nothing had happened no matter how butch and hairy and deep voiced she might be. Why does it magically become rocket science if a trans woman requests the same courtesy? And how is it OK for people to go under the knife for vanity but if we do it to alleviate genuine suffering we're deemed the crazy ones? All this resistance to trans folk being respected like everyone else is nothing but irrational fear.
Bravo! I am looking for as much information as I can find on the genetic influence of our fetal development as possible . I feel the more society understands of the valid medical reasons why we identify with who we are the less pressure it feels (as a whole ) to classify transgenderism ? as a fetish or disorder . We cant change who we are neurologically but we can adjust our presentation to reflect our gender identities . More importantly than conforming to norms is the need to be happy with ourselves so that rather than being outcast we can contribute to society as would any other ( good ) person does.Thank You for your delightful speech
thank you so much for this video Rikki. it's wonderful.
I was born male and today I still identify as male.
Why?
Well I heard there's privilege for guys
Though I'm still waiting to find that rumored "privilege"...
CyrillKR Try living as a woman for a while and you will very quickly experience the loss of privilege.
Ok, try living as a man and get that "privilege" back.
I didn't say I wanted it back - I'm happy to join other women in the fight to remove the social bias that privileges men, a fight I was already engaged in long before I decided to face the challenges of changing gender. That said I do know of a number of trans women who have done exactly as you suggest - they were unable to cope with the loss of privilege and have reverted to living as men.
Males do have male privilege, definitely. But women have female privilege too in inverse ways. Men historically have more respect and freedoms but they have the burden of more responsibilities and pressure. Women historically have less respect and less freedom but also less pressure and fewer responsibilities.
You are not a woman sweetheart. You are a delusional biological man.
To anyone who leaves a hate comment here: I hope you know that the things you say has consequences and the hurt that you are putting out stems from within. No one who has got the meaning of life would take their time to leave horrible comment online.
The word "Gender" is derived from the Latin root meaning "to beget; to procreate; to generate; to create; to produce."
Or to sire
That's what my name means Josiah
Omg I love her, she is the one thing I need ( I am secretly trans) and I am genuinely scared, but she is the guiding light and it is nice to know someone czres
Thank you so much Miss Rikki, I almost heard myself there. I also got my womanity back at fifty so it shows and since I live in a small town I knew I would surely be the first trans a lot of pêople would see so I sincerely thought that my difference would make me an interesting phenomenon, a subject of curiosity... Well, it didn't really happen that way, I lost family, friends and no one dares show interest so once I had my emotions figured out I concluded that my generation instinctively rejects non-conformity so... Let's teach our children that different is interesting and let's start as young as possible, only then trans people, natives, rich or poor, french or japanese, happy or sad will all be brothers and sisters, forever. Cheers, Rose.
So I call someone a guy, they want to be identified as a girl. I'm harassing them? I am not violating that person's dignity. "Dignity is the right of a person to be valued and respected for their own sake, and to be treated ethically." I still value and respect the person. What exactly makes gender a "relevant protected characteristic" if they are biologically a male or female? I'm open to have someone change my mind. I challenge someone to change my mind with facts, data and percentages. Biased opinions or feelings aren't going to change my mind.
Moving and thought provoking, thank you
Lack of self knowledge brings birth to a host of misconceptions about anything that sorrounds us and we quickly learn to justify and hastily explain our viewpoint as a consolation for that lack. A simple check on the life of such personns can show the causes that led to that direction. Usually boils to lazyness of mind being the primal culprit which pushes such people to busy themselfs with every useless and futile topic they find within the reach of their hungry-for-whatever-the-wind-brings mind, as an attempt to feel important and special. Perhaps it would be very good for the existence of such people to put them and learn how to work with earth. At least this would clear and quice their minds and then suddenly the answers to real questions will come and the faulse questions will disappear as if they never existed.
Good talk initiating a number of questions and including a frightening definition of harassment which could include all social interaction. I think I was always happy with what some people define as gender identity but the more I learn the less I understand. Everything feels unnecessarily complex and unnecessarily complicated.
It's all very simple as long as everyone fits neatly into the binary of gender boxes identifying as either male or female - moving from one to the other is even quite easy to grasp. But as soon as we move out of the box - nothing makes sense anymore because we are still trying to explain everything relative to the gender binary.
Let go of the binary and accept that maybe there are more than two genders - that maybe there are hundreds of different genders and everything becomes easier to understand again. Of course that does rather mess up the religions which are still based on how people lived two or three thousand years ago. Perhaps it's time to let go of some of these rather outdated social rules and move into the 21st century.
Amazing speech I loved it. Thank you!
You can't change your gender. And I don't believe that people are asking you whether you're a man or woman; I think they're telling you "Sir, you cannot go into the women's restroom because you're a man". They're not the ones confused. But if you can't even give a definition for "man" or "woman", you're the confused one.
Also, no, you shouldn't be speaking to children about this, whether they ask about it or not.
You dont need an identity, just be you nobody really cares if your male or female.
You need and already have a gender identity. Biology made one for you
exactly
except in these circumstances gender identity and biology don't match ...that is the problem.
Excellent thanks for sharing
Does anyone know where I can find the transcript for this?
+FreddoGirl121520 - just under the video above - click on MORE and then TRANSCRIPT
+Rikki Arundel Ok thank you so much! Loved the video! I'm doing a presentation on your TED talk in a few weeks, I'm hoping to get the message across to my classmates ;)
Trans*
This is such an awesome TED Talk. Thank you for this.
Need to get a big shovel for this sociology 101 lesson.
Interesting to watch. Great presentation. Really enjoyed listening to this speaker. Still not convinced that a person's philosophy of gender is an accurate way to identify gender. Still think biologically people are male or female. The argument presented seems to display that the speaker has stereotyped how men or women think and then concluded that he thinks more like a female; thus he identifies as a female. The reality is that if he was born with male genitalia and he feels he thinks similarly to the way women think; that doesn't make him a women, it just means he is thinking. It seems he boxed his philosophical framework into how men and women think, and than identified himself according to his own perceived framework.
In reality, he is just a man who has thoughts and is simply attempting to justify his desire to identify as a women. At the very end where he encourages others to cross-dress is an attempt to validate how he thinks as being correct. I disagree and I think it confuses younger people. The speaker also appeals to gender being determined by how he "feels," which is an irrational basis for determining gender. People can "identify" as a different gender, but they are still biologically a male or female from birth. The "gender identity" isn't the truth of their gender but simply a philosophical framework constructed for themselves; completely subjective and doesn't line up with an objective reality. Subjectively gender is based on feelings and people own versions of what's true to them. Objectively gender is based upon biological evidence of a persons genitalia from birth. Simply put, the speaker is a male but likes to dress as a women and wants those feelings validated by society.
I love the speaker, but I disagree that men should dress as women. Men don't dress as women because it confuses children and makes them question if gender is real or a mental state as explained in this video. An explaining to children the mutilation of your genitalia to switch biological genders is incredible disturbing for them. Very cruel to put that imagery in the head of children for the sake of your own personal agenda. It also encourages children to mutilate themselves to switch genders.
The presentation was interesting, but I am still convinced that "gender identity" is an attempt to escape what someone was born into. I understand that there is a perceived "freedom" in being able to identify as different genders. Seems like a logical thing when a person has no objective basis for why they ought to be the gender they were born with. All reality is subjective and personal preference as explained by the speaker. Unless you believe in an objective authority that is more than a persons opinion; which is only possible if God exists. "Gender identity" is rational to a person who denies Gods existence, but is clearly irrational to a person who believes that God exists because God would be an objective standard to this issue. Without God there is no objective standard. The topic of gender identity is a clear side effect of a person not having any objective perception of reality, living in a completely subjective state of mind.
Don't believe this gender identity non-sense, what it preaches to fix is a lie. You were born biologically as a male or a female. God has a plan and purpose for your life. He wants to use you. God takes the lost, the heavy burdened and gives them rest. Do not trust what society tells you because they are the blind leading the blind. Just as this speaker thought it perfectly fine to explain the mutilation of a persons genitalia to children. Pick up your Bible or download a Bible app on your phone. Ask Jesus Christ into your heart, and learn the objective truth about life. You don't have to be lost, God can find you and shine his light on you. God leaves the 99 who are already saved, just to find you, the one who is lost. He is the good Sheppard and takes care of his flock. This speaker does not care for you, he cares for his own personal agenda.
I have to give it to you. You had me in the first half. Then you mentioned a Deity and it quickly went south XD
On the rest i think on one hand you are on to something. But on the other hand you might be missing something. Hmm
Thank you for your talk
I might have missed that part, but what do you think about the Canadian law where using the wrong pronoun to adress to someone is against the law and you can get punished for it?
Nice outfit!
(seriously)
Gender identity almost killed me! Gender fluidity may save my life...
Thank u so much, i really got alot from your talk.
7:00 about to cry...
+BlueGirl ((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) x
Why didn't it occur to him to say to children who asked about his genitalia, 'that's not an appropriate topic to discuss with a stranger.'
A normal person talking about their genitals to children would be accused of grooming. Why is this bloke given a free-pass? It's because people are embarrassed or scared to challenge his behaviour for fear of being called transphobic or prejudiced. The result is that a serious problem that might be a mental health issue, a personality disorder, or just the behaviour of a sociopath is able to proliferate unchecked.
Hey, I'm trying to figure this out: If men were allowed to dress and act like a 'tomgirl' the way women can be a 'tomboy', would there be less of these different gender identities? Because it seems like creating a different identity was trying to make up for the lack men as 'tomgirls'. I'm trying to understand this.
Good question. Part of the problem is that we don't say 'tomgirl' - the opposite to 'tomboy' is 'sissy'. statistics indicate that about 80% of trans people are male to female - however, over the past decade that has been changing with a huge increase in female to male trans people seeking clinical support and that has led to the backlash against trans people by some radical feminists. The biggest problem for trans people is the lack of social acceptance. If it were socially OK for men to express themselves in a feminine way would that result in fewer trans women wanting to undergo surgery? Possibly.
There are certainly more people beginning to identify as non-binary - though some of them are still seeking surgery and/or hormone treatment. We all seem to have an overwhelming need to 'fit in' - to be part of the 'in-group'. So if there is a large enough new tribe or in-group for me to join perhaps I won't need to fit in to the majority male or female in-groups. The reality is that it's likely that there will eventually be more gender identities rather than less as we construct more social identities that I can choose from.
I am a transman & I fear that I won't be allowed to wear heels & skirts, as soon as people read me male.. So I wonder if I should transition, because I like to express myself feminin & i am a man! 🥺 She shows up for all man, who want to be themselves. She shows up for me 🤲 thank you, love.
It is a very simple question, just look in your shorts...
Talking about the end of the video here, so basically i should have to go out and make myself uncomfortable so you dont have to feel insecure or bullied? Why should i have to make myself feel "insecure" because you dont have the self esteem to deal with the "bullying." You are the one who accepted the gender change? shouldnt you be prepared for the so called harassment?
You don't have to do anything. The point was, if you want to understand and help make others understand and accept... It's a call to action. A way the audience can help. A very basic element of a good presentation. Well done and funny to boot.
Are you suggesting that bullying is OK? If anyone is different from the majority it's OK for the majority to bully them?
So if a muslim woman lives in a largely Christian community it's ok to bully her from being different. If someone lives in a city where they are in a minority is it OK for the majority to bully and harass them for being different.
Most people who change gender can simple blend in and no-one would know - but a few of us look trans - why should we be bullied just because we want to dress and act in a way that if more comfortable for us just because that is different. We are not harming anyone just getting on with life.
So if you have a problem with this YES it is you who has to change because in a civilised society BULLYING and HARASSMENT are WRONG.
+Rikki Arundel I'm not saying that bullying is alright. I'm saying why should i have to go out and change my ways because you decided to change yours? I'm not responsible for your actions. You know the consequences that comes with getting a gender change, so why do I have to change my ways because you cant handle the consequences?
" You know the consequences that comes with getting a gender change..." OK so what are those consequences. I change my gender and as far as you or anyone else is concerned all that happens is that I wear different clothes. Sadly because when I was young the option of changing early was not really available I hid how I felt and tried to live as a man. When I finally found the courage to change it was difficult if not impossible to completely hide the fact that I was born with a male body - and it is that which has led to years of discrimination, harassment and bullying.
Are those the consequences that come with getting a gender change - being bullied because I cannot hide the fact that I was born with a male body? I am not asking you to change anything - just allow me to be me. Allow me to wear whatever I chose to wear without ridiculing me, or attacking me, or harassing me.
And allow me to use an appropriate public convenience when I need to. I am not a threat and there is no evidence that trans people are a threat. If someone passes - i.e. they look completely and convincingly the men or women they wish to be no-one will even notice them - it's only if we can't hide deep voices, or large hands or breasts that the problems start.
Can you imagine how scary it is for us always wondering if some bigot is going to challenge us and humiliate us in public because we don't "pass". Terrified to walk down a street alone in case we get attacked. Frightened to be near children in public in case someone shouts pedo. We just want to get on with out lives without fear - and all you have to do if you cannot accept us is just ignore us and let us get on with our lives.
+Rikki Arundel Honestly i don't care if people get gender changes. its not my problem, but i just don't think the 99.9% should have to change for the .01%. And like you said most people don't notice it. but if they do and on the very rare occasion they say something in public (online does NOT count). Let it go, i mean if i lived off of what people called me i would have turned out horrible! learn how to defend yourself, don't have a pity party because someone called you something. if you guys wouldn't bring problems where there aren't any, you really wouldn't have problems at all. because like you said no one would notice. dont complain if there arent any lgbt people in a movie, or dont put yourself out there that you are a trans person. people would ignore you guys. mans heart is born evil deep down, i believe. so there will always be rude people. so dont put yourself out there to get attacked. that's why i don't believe i should have to change to fit your needs.
Thanks for sharing! Very insightful.
Lord Jesus, heal our broken world.
Amen
Jesus was pro-trans.
Oh my god I love the accent!
I feel intimidated and harassed by the group of people who force their sexual preferences on me.
Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual preference and no one is forcing anything on you - you choose how to present yourself. Forcing any sexual activity on anyone is a crime - whatever your sexual preferences. if you fee intimidate or harassed by my presence then it is y9u who has a problem. I sometimes feel intimidated by the presence loud and aggressive people, but unless that aggression is directed towards me no crime has been committed and I have to deal with my fears.
You are awesome!! this video changed my life!
This touched me so much! Thank you!
❤❤❤
at birth I was labeled as a male human, in actuality I self identify as a female Tennessee walker horse. It is so hurtful when people don't see me and accept me for what I am. 😣
A must-watch, this video is fantastic! Rikki Arundel takes us through gender identity as a simplicity all of us can easily understand. Humorously adding a lighter side that keeps you watching, and suddenly understanding just how complex the question is it male or female can be.
Beautiful. PLEASE CAN I DO THAT MASTER'S DEGREE?
Only if you want a low paying job.
In this crazy world, all you have to do is self identify as a person with a master's degree...
i mean, sure. But you re gonna get a bad job. And if you do, dont blame it on your major
@@gerrysong6908 Just self identify as someone who has a great job.
Jeffrey Nelson aaah, a man of good ideas I see...
💝
It’s ironic that the ad that played before this video for me was a product called “Dude Wipes”. Anyway, this type of thinking , and all its variations stem from self-centered people with “issues” playing make believe. No I don’t celebrate this nonsense. Yes, I can hear the name calling from those who disagree. The intolerance in the name of tolerance is something to behold!
Oppressive tolerance.
An easy answer to gender is whether they bear a child or they breed with a female