Bonjour, tout le monde! If you live abroad in France or elsewhere, have you had any "a-ha" moments that were freeing and helped you to be more at ease in your new country? Talk to me!
I have moved to a new state in the USA- one I never contemplated and I have felt similarly, on top of a pandemic! These are words of wisdom that transcend time and place. Thank you for the reminders!
Actually what you say about timelines is quite funny .....If you had REALLY brung your A game at trying to become quintessential "French" , the VERY FIRST thing you would have tried to emulate , is to not have ANY timeline =D , before the cooking prowess , before the etiquette , fashion , whatever , the CORE of beeing French is not having a timeline ....But I guess that's the most foreign notion to American culture there is in the pool of French particularities .....Stress is very taxing on one's health , especially if on top of the life stresses we can't avoid we add up another pile of self induced stress , I guess it may be a behavior encouraged in the usa since as being a non tax funded area , health generates massive revenues ....Besides , while being a stressed out "productivit" can be a great quality for being an "achiever" , and that's what made basically usa the powerhouse it is now , you can't just be an unhinged "productivist " that is producing just for the sake of producing . There 's no merit to just produce a lot , you could produce the world's biggest number of latex chicken keychains in the whole world , I'm sure it wouldn't even be worthy of being a conversation piece with your local garbage disposer , WHAT do you want to achieve ? HOW do you want to achieve it ? FOR WHICH reasons do you want to achieve it ? Answering those very questions , require at least a step back and sometimes lots of reflexion , and reflexion takes time , that's why there are so many cafe's in France , not because we like to just do nothing , but because you can't burn your life away going on a rampage of mindless productivism and expect to do wonderful things without reflexion . And yes , I'm French
I moved to France in 2012 too! I'm still here...I have a French husband and a little girl. To be honest being myself true self never was really an issue for me, at least. My main problem was missing my old surroundings, being able to go to my favorite shops, buy my favorite foods and my friends etc. I think it wasn't really an issue because my husband isnt the typical French guy. He works aboard and is very open to other cultures which made it easier for me. When it comes to meeting others I've always had the mentally of if you don't like who I am, that's ok. I'm not rude or anything like that but we dont always have to like everyone. There are certainly people I've met who are genuinely nice, but I just dont click with and that's totally fine.
Hi Shannon! Like you, my husband Tom isn't a "typical" French guy in a lot of ways either. I call him my "American with a French accent" even though he's never lived abroad or anything. ;-) Thanks for watching!
Yes! Living here two months now, and I’ve already found myself feeling uncomfortable when I leave the house because I’ve been trying to blend in since I feel like an intruder and I’m disturbing the local French people just by being around (I live in a small city). Thank you for this encouragement and real talk, Diane. Shoulds suck! Love that. Making you feel like you’ve failed at something you haven’t even tried yet. Also, been feeling the pressure of family and friends telling people “wow people would kill to be in your shoes” I feel like I need to live my life here FOR all those people who would kill to be in this situation! But NO of course not, I’m living real life here not on a vacation. You’re so great Diane, I wish you the best!
Hello from Gensac! As so happens many times, I feel as if you are talking to me. We have been in France for 3 1/2 years. I first felt lost when I was starting to meet people. Everyone was so much younger than me. I had friends in the states who had known me for 25 years. I missed having people who just knew me and were in similar life experiences. I also feel that you can be doing just fine and then BAM something comes out of left field and throws you for a loop! When someone is hurtful and you question the way you are doing things. Thanks for all the work that you do.
Thank you: good to hear, to live anywhere! :D France can be really complicated if you try to stick on all our traditions and tendancies ... In fact, we sometimes need a good broom action to simplify all this (maybe valuable for any "ancient" country).
Marvelous! Being truthful about “What Is” gives me far more helpful insight than painting a sanitized, disney-esque Instagram picture of your adventures. On a philosophical level it’s far more interesting to include all of it. You show the beauty and the struggles. This is learning about Culture in its best light. My compassion goes out to all expats around the world who are in a special kind of twilight zone. Keep sharing! Gratitude. Subscribed.
Been there and done all of that in Paris. Thank you for letting folks who may go to France, if we don't all die from covid first, know their feelings are not just their own. I wish when I lived in France before I started to learn French I had your thoughts. Very well done.
Very well said (for all, living abroad or not) with a positive, hope filled attitude! By the way, there is a saying for all to consider to follow "Never should on others (or yourself)"
Good shout on the anxiety we ex-pats go through after living abroad! I moved to the UK in 2008 and the most difficult aspect of my new life was building friendships. So many people have their friends from school so it takes a big effort to build new friendships when you're adapting to new social norms! I hope I'm still myself but I think we naturally pick up some behaviours of our adopted country too. Whenever I start getting anxiety about my choice to live abroad, it helps to remind myself of the things I wouldn't have had if I had still been in the US. For example I've travelled to many amazing places (Bruges, Rome, etc) and I get 5.5 weeks vacation which I often spend with my daughter when she's on a school break. In the US I remember my mother working most of the time and I missed out on time with her. It's a blessing to have the work/life balance where I live. Life will never be perfect so we've got to make the best of what we have :)
I've lived abroad (in Africa) for over 10 years. I started by learning the culture and wanting to be respectful of it, which is overall a good thing. But at some point, I accepted that I'm still me, and I can keep parts of my own culture, too.
Bonjour... I am emotional about the content of this video. I lived in a foreign country for a couple of years as a child. And that was hard and , of course, wonderful in many ways. Its helpful to have your family around you as I did but when you are outside the family, as in school, you are on your own! Interestingly enough, it sort of prepared me for a workplace environment that I have been in for years where the business owners are so different from me. However, I found myself losing myself to try to dumb/numb down to fit in. BIG MISTAKE! It took me a long time to find my authentic self again and unveil myself to myself and my co-workers. I've grown a lot from the struggles and I've gotten to know myself better. I am a good person. The trick is to care as much about your self as you do about others and in many situations, you must care about ( and for yourself ) more than you do the others who appear to be cruel when they don't share your values or point of view. Thank you for sharing this!
This is great advice for life anywhere! Such a good message to stay grounded and not compare yourself to others or what you think you should be. Thank you.
This was great to watch! Living abroad is so hard and we all have to stick together to push through. I’m definitely at the point of living abroad where I’m starting to question what is home? I’m an American currently living in Lyon for the past two years.
This is such a truthful ex-pat vlog. I knew a fellow Brit ex-pat who tried very hard to be 'French'. She says Ooh La La to French people ALL the time. I have never heard anyone French say Ooh La La. lol
Hi Diane! Thanks for the Life wisdom. I have been enjoying your videos and am inspired to visit France again after the pandemic is over. I am looking forward to seeing more from you. 😊
I am so grateful to have discovered your channel.. Just catching up on the videos. Thank you for being candid and genuine. You take is spot on as far as I am concerned. signed ~ a kindred spirit
Loved all the new things you love . I think I’ll be asking for one of those beautiful bowls . Already visited the website. Thanks Diane , as usual... great video.
This video resonates with me a lot (found your channel through one of the expat groups we are both in, so we are in a very similar situation, I guess). I try so much to assimilate, to do everything the way my french coworkers do, I wear the colours they find acceptable, I started to cook the French way because my coworkers talk about food so much. I actually feel like you caught me because I thought I found the transition to living here so easy because I was so flexible and just adapted to almost everything they do ... except the time I get hungry at night, but hey, lockdown and curfew made 18:30 very acceptable to eat dinner.
Good advice for life, no matter where you are living. Sometimes the expectations and "shoulds" come from your own family. I really like your new segment about things you love! (new to me now)
Merci 🙏 Diane! Je suis étudiant de Atlanta en Français et I get frustrated @ times feeling that some of my French is missing pieces. Thank you for your encouragement and reassurance. I mostly refer to your videos about expat life in France because you so thorough. I am truly enjoying France. Please take care Madame! Merci beaucoup! 😊👍⚜️
Bonjour Diane, I am so glad I found your channel and I enjoy the topics you choose. I too lived in France and worked there, I am a New Zealander, and I had the hard choice but came back to NZ to live. I visit as often as I can, and so much you discuss is familiar, especially today's topic which struck a chord. I feel if one is at home in oneself it is so much easier to manage your life anywhere, but especially when things get hard. I also like you new final segment. It is a great idea. Take care.
Haha! Fancy Unicorn’s ! That’s a great phrase. I think you’re great. I love the humor in your blog and really am enjoying your videos . Thank you for your honesty. You’re crushing it girl! Oh! I bought the hair clip, it’s great,.
You really, really spoke to me...thanks for being vulnerable and putting yourself out there for us...merci!! "Give yourself space and grace" - wise words
I'm binge-watching your channel which is so interesting, merci Diane I had the reverse experience, I lived in the US for 9 years and I never really adapted... but then I admit that I didn't really try to, I mean I always felt that it wasn't my culture and that I would eventually end up moving back to France (which I have :)
Vlogging (as you expertly do), may also help you connect with and express your authentic self. Keep up the fantastic vids, i'm utterly addicted and missing my time in France!
Bonjour Diane! Oh my gosh. This video is absolutely wonderful, as are you! What wonderful life lessons, abroad or not! Your channel is one of my favorites and I am grateful for your hard work! I hope you have a safe, lovely week!
Merci, Diane! I for one have always idealized living in France and have been realizing that it isn't all macaron and baguettes (for free!). Your latest video helped me even further to once again recognize there can be issues no matter where you live. Since I live in Hawaii, I have come across that: people think the rain here is always gentle and falls with little rainbows in each drop! Not so! We do occasionally have hurricanes. It's not all mai tais and balmy weather. Also, one of the "things I love" that I would like to see in your new segment is what other blogs you love... Thanks for sharing your wise counsel! We'll keep watching.
Yes, I think it's so easy to idealize life elsewhere, whether that's France or Hawaii! Good idea about blogs I love. I'll try to do that on an upcoming segment. Thank you!
@@OuiInFrance Diane, I thought of other things I love that you could use in Things I Love: towns in France, musicians, poets (Amanda Gorman!!) fictitious characters (Hello Kitty, Grumpy Cat), French Painters. I'll stop now..Looking forward to your next episode!
I could not agree more with the points you made, Diane! Excellent advice for living abroad, or, as others have mentioned, anywhere else. But as a fellow expat, I do know the feeling you're talking about of pressure to do this, say that, dress this way, behave that way, etc. that you're referencing. It comes in ebbs and flows, in my experience. Thanks for the encouragement to help put that icky feeling back in its place where it belongs! 😊
You don't have to leave the country to feel like that. I grew up in Quebec, Canada coming from a French family. Before the age of 10 we moved to the English side of Canada (Ontario). Culture shock!!! Having to learn a new language, everything was different. You could go back home, for me being so young, this was now home. Learn to live with what you are given is the key sentence here. If all you do is complain, you will find your niche. Adapt. I enjoy your channel, it makes me laugh at some of the awkwardness you face. Same as I did on the flip side. Keep posting.
I don't live abroad, but this is just pure good advice for anyone. Personally, I'm coming off a few years of high stress that made me sad, angry, depresses....and now that I have less stress I can look back and see how I was effected by what was going on in my life. Looking back, I feel like a pretty strong woman for getting through it all and still smiling! I liked this video and liked how you ended it with things you love!
Great video, Diane! I can relate to most of your reflections on living abroad/living in France. Once I quit worrying about speaking ‘perfect’ French, life became much less stressful for me. I have also found that most French people I have come in contact with are quite helpful (patient?), or maybe I’m just getting used to the lifestyle here! 😉
Very patient in my experience as well! Granted, I don't live in Paris so maybe things would be different there. I always think about how pre-living abroad Diane might act toward a French woman who just moved to the US, someone who mixes up words and seems so out of place. Living abroad has made me see things from the other side and I was thinking about making a video about that, like what changes when you're the one who is foreign, after living your life in NYC with foreigners all around you and always hearing accents. Thanks for watching!
@@OuiInFrance - I taught English as a second language in Mexico and the Republic of Georgia, and it made me much more appreciative of how hard it can be to learn a foreign language (English!), and if my students just put forth the effort, I figured ‘kudos to them’, even if they mixed up the words or got the tenses wrong. Maybe the French are doing the same with me....I hope!
So much smartness in all what you say ! Tes explications, réflections sont pleines d'intelligence et de vérité, si seulement tous les Américains pouvaient penser comme toi, le monde serait meilleur.
Thank you! I don't think you have to live abroad to go through that sense of a bit of alienation. I have gone through that to an even greater degree here in the US over the last 4 years than I did in France. I found myself dealing with a lot of anxiety & fear, oh and yes, depression, as I felt as if I was living in an upside down snow globe. This was not the America I thought I knew. I longed to be back in France--as if France had no political or racist issues. I think it is simply the sense that sometimes we feel as if we are not standing on solid ground. As you describe in this video, what is required is the ability to self reflect. It has to start with a sense of stability that can only come from really knowing who I am and then finding compassion for myself in the judgements I have on that.
Hi Diane, your video resonated a lot with me. It's great to hear what you said. I live in Ecuador since 15 years ago. There are ups and downs, and pros and cons living in a different country. But this is the case no matter where in the world we live. We gain a lot of insight from living abroad , and I appreciate so many aspects of where we live, but at times I go through just what you described . Thanks! Your videos are great ☀️☀️☀️
Thank you for another great video. Love French products and was wondering if you've checked out Letol Scarves made in Charlieu. They are hand woven and eco-concious. Hard to find in US.
I'm Canadian and lived in the UK for a couple of years. It was amazing but it was also very challenging sometimes (and I didn't even need to do the work of learning a new language). This is a great video for anyone trying the adventure of living in a different country. You are so right, real life doesn't pay attention to a border.
oh la laaaa, Israel, another world, and not just for me, but from all the people from Argentina, France, Brazil, Spain, USA, everywhere!!!! we can sit down together all the foreigners and eat alive all the things Israelis do, but, you learn to love them. The advices you gave to stop worrying are really good, because I think It happen to everyone, I felt very ashamed I didn't speak perfect the language and I only stressed myself more. Also I learned to appreciate myself, my culture and my efforts. Thanks! love your channel
I don't live abroad however the dynamics you describe in this video applies to live anywhere (including in the US) I watch ur videos cause I enjoy them.
One more thing: I sooooo agree with you. I LOVE France and the people and what I have found is that they LOVE me being American and that has endeared me to the French and them to me. There is nothing like being yourself!
I am an American living in the USA …. My husband (from the far east) moved to the USA & married me and went through all of this…. This video is helpful for many people in the world. Thank you! ☮️💟☮️
Yes, I can relate, left US in 2010 and I rely on my daughters for translations, and sometimes phone calls. I am the square peg that won't fit into the round hole.
Thank you for the video and very true. I've spend 14 years in Germany. Though I became great at the language, connected with what is normal in Germany and on first glance didn't stand out any more I never became German. And I learned it wasn't expected. I was and still am Dutch. Becoming any nationality perfectly is unattainable. Germans bicker about what it means to be German so how could a Dutchie be perfect. Being me and respectfully bringing some Dutch flavour to the conversation was the best I could do. Had fun and was a bit sad when I had to move back to the Netherlands :)
you're right, wherever you live, remain who you are is certainly the best way to find your way out in any country ! remain who you are with open mind of course ! In my life I lived in different place in the world, even as a child, sometimes without really knowing the language, which I picked up naturally pretty fast, and each foreign experience has enriched me ! I felt everywhere at ease, had of course preferences, but thats normal, and by the way, I'm french, and my life has shown me that the most stupid attitude starts with racism and or pointing out differences as to be negativ , it's the contrary, that's where you challenge yourself to learn and decide if it suits you or not, but even if it doesn't it's not important, in your own country you do not apply to everything either ! just remain yourself, remain curious and open minded , and every abroad experience will enrich your life-
I am from German Parents who were living semi-German in the USA. Whenever I was in Germany my Aunts & Uncles tried to help me adjust the other half-way from semi-German to Full German. The best help that I had was from my cousins. They all were very helpful, each in their own way, whether they were older or younger than me. What I missed the most was the familiarity of being in a city that I knew well. What I loved the most was the delicious food and Chocolate, the beautiful countryside, and the excellent train service. My maternal Grandmother was from Alsais-Lorain, where I visited my mother's cousin. I studied one year of French in 9th Grade in the USA prior to the visit & it did not help me one wit😊. In college, back in USA, I minored in Linguistics plus German (of course), French, and Spanish with a smattering of Swedish. I did teach math & Spanish grammar (both in Spanish) to Central Americans for a few years in the USA. I never did find a way to keep up my French (still reading well & speaking poorly). I relate to your experience and applaud you for your persistence and attitude. "Don't Trust the Rabbit" is a UA-cam channel of a German Frau, with a South American husband, both living in Germany, who tries to bridge the gap between America & Germany for Americans. She enlists the occasional help of non-German Americans who are now living in Germany and trying to adjust to new customs & new social expectations. Whenever you have the time it would be interesting to view a conversation between you and a French friend who had the experience of living in, and adjusting to, the USA and is now back in France. What subtle behaviors trip visitors to France and America up? Another topic could be words, phrases, or translations that trip people up, both from French to English & English to French. What advice would she give to Americans contemplating moving to France. What advice from her would you have wished you had before moving to France? Are there difficult / tricky to use or difficult / tricky to translate words? 😃
Well said! This goes for living abroad and for Francophiles everywhere. I have met so many women trying to be French...following to the letter what they have read in books. BE YOURSELF are words to live by!
You bring up a really good point about books, Kimberly. I think it can be worthwhile and fun to try new things and ways of dressing or living life, so the books have their place, but I think it becomes problematic when authors tout the "French way" as the best way or the only thing to aspire to and if you don't do things this way or that way, that you're wrong or less cultured or whatever. I see that all the time, often written in a tone that talks down to women. I think if books instructing people to act French actually help the person and make them a better version of themselves and bring value to their life, then fine, for some people maybe it'll be a positive thing and I have no issue with that. It's when we steamroll the things that make us US for the sake of it that it becomes problematic. It's when these rules make us second guess ourselves as we are, you know? Anyway, I think I could write a book about THAT! Hhaha, thank you for watching!
You offer some great advice. To paraphrase Sheryl Crow, in "soak up the Sun" you need to want what you have, not have what you want. I think you were kind of saying the same thing. I became a better person in my 40s when I stopped lusting power and excessive wealth and learned to accept my wonderful family, good health and enough money to be reasonably comfortable..
I gave up trying to be francophone or a Québécois. I'm a Newfoundland-Canadian who has lived in Québec for a long time. I don't try anymore to sound Québécois. I can imitate a Frenchy accent, but not so much a Québec accent. My world is different. Folks in French Québec are used to living next to the USA and their Canadian neighbours. I fit in well enough. They often find my accent quaint, but I don't get questioned a lot. I try to be me now. Je parle français, j'ai même un bacc. en études françaises, mais mon accent c'est du John. 😁🖐️🇨🇦
Have you considered partnering with US Military installation in Europe to share your life experiences and what has worked for you and what has not been so good?
Hi Richard, no I haven't and am not too familiar with how that would work? Feel free to email me if it's something you've done and would like to chat privately. Thanks!
@@OuiInFrance would be difficult to find US Military installations in France.... maybe in Germany or Italy on the continent (and Great Britain in the UK) ?
I have lived in several European countries and have been told in conversations with locals is that I often know more of the history of the country that I am living in. I was in an English class trying to explain the British parliament and compared it to the Thirty Years War. I ended up explaining the Thirty Years War to Germans in English! "You know more about our history than I do. We were never taught this at school" BTW when I sojourned in France for eight months I was surprised by the large number of fast food joints in the out of town developments with the supermarkets and hypermarché I had assumed that most French folks ate home-cooked French cuisine when a lot of them are troughing burgers and fries or in chains of restaurants selling Alsatian cuisine. Weirdly Alsatian cuisine is admired for its heartiness both in France and in Germany The tarte flambée or Flammkuchen comes from that region and is a popular pizza alternative here at least.
i think living abroad is nice, is more challenging and helps to know yourself better. You have to live everyday at 200% . It is rewarding and make you stronger. Of course challenges evolve. At first , we have to improve and blend , once at the correct level, you know the codes, can be yourself, not play a role ..the feeling of 2nd class person disappears and feel that your home is where you choosed it :-) ..
Dépression amongst expats is clearly a thing. It’s really well documented in many studies. After the “wooow” time that you mentioned really well, comes the down. So yes it’s something to expect as someone living abroad. And this is even more the case when the person moved for something that is not his job. Because people moving for their jobs have a whole network when they arrive, and they are kept busy. But when the case is that you followed your partner moving for his/her job, or you moved to meet a partner living abroad, yes things can be even more difficult . So yes keep doing those kind of videos , it will probably resonate with new à whole new audience !
I've lived in France for 16 years,I have a French wife . I've picked apples,washed dishes and delivered fruit & veg,do I regret moving to france.yes 100%.I miss England everyday.but my family have thrived,so some good has came out of it.for what it's worth,it's not France, it's a great country,it's me
Thank you! Since I was a teen, having nicely manicured nails has always been my "thing." A fun way to express my personality. I love sparkles. More than hair or makeup or whatever. LOVE NAILS. Sometimes I let them grow long and sometimes short, but always on point. ;-) Currently yes, salons are open but are subject to the nationwide curfew which is 6 p.m. Masks are required and they have additional safety procedures to follow but for the time being they are open. Hoping we don't head into another lockdown... Thanks for watching!
I’m coming late but I just wanted to throw this idea out there, Diane. It looks like you were experiencing a very American performance anxiety of feeling like you had to excel at everything to assimilate in the French culture. Americans are brought up to be so performance-driven that it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing everything as a challenge or contest and to believe that if you don’t knock it out of the ballpark on the first try then you’re a failure. Ironically it seems you had to let go of this very American push for perfection before you could accept back in your life, parts of the American culture that are most meaningful to you. Having lived in France and Germany, I can say that the people in those two countries don’t put pressure on themselves to succeed in everything like the Americans do. I appreciated the mindshift when I was over there.
Bonjour, tout le monde! If you live abroad in France or elsewhere, have you had any "a-ha" moments that were freeing and helped you to be more at ease in your new country? Talk to me!
I have moved to a new state in the USA- one I never contemplated and I have felt similarly, on top of a pandemic! These are words of wisdom that transcend time and place. Thank you for the reminders!
Absolutely.Now live in Ireland and could never live in the U.S. again.
Actually what you say about timelines is quite funny .....If you had REALLY brung your A game at trying to become quintessential "French" , the VERY FIRST thing you would have tried to emulate , is to not have ANY timeline =D , before the cooking prowess , before the etiquette , fashion , whatever , the CORE of beeing French is not having a timeline ....But I guess that's the most foreign notion to American culture there is in the pool of French particularities .....Stress is very taxing on one's health , especially if on top of the life stresses we can't avoid we add up another pile of self induced stress , I guess it may be a behavior encouraged in the usa since as being a non tax funded area , health generates massive revenues ....Besides , while being a stressed out "productivit" can be a great quality for being an "achiever" , and that's what made basically usa the powerhouse it is now , you can't just be an unhinged "productivist " that is producing just for the sake of producing . There 's no merit to just produce a lot , you could produce the world's biggest number of latex chicken keychains in the whole world , I'm sure it wouldn't even be worthy of being a conversation piece with your local garbage disposer , WHAT do you want to achieve ? HOW do you want to achieve it ? FOR WHICH reasons do you want to achieve it ? Answering those very questions , require at least a step back and sometimes lots of reflexion , and reflexion takes time , that's why there are so many cafe's in France , not because we like to just do nothing , but because you can't burn your life away going on a rampage of mindless productivism and expect to do wonderful things without reflexion .
And yes , I'm French
"When you live abroad you lose sights of what makes you you !" ... so true !
🇨🇵 living in 🇬🇧 and struggling to adapt since 2 years now. I needed to hear that today thank you so much you made my day 🙏🏼
This is just straight across the board, excellent life advice.
I'm British, and my ancestry is part-French, so I would love to visit France at some point in the future
I moved to France in 2012 too! I'm still here...I have a French husband and a little girl. To be honest being myself true self never was really an issue for me, at least. My main problem was missing my old surroundings, being able to go to my favorite shops, buy my favorite foods and my friends etc. I think it wasn't really an issue because my husband isnt the typical French guy. He works aboard and is very open to other cultures which made it easier for me. When it comes to meeting others I've always had the mentally of if you don't like who I am, that's ok. I'm not rude or anything like that but we dont always have to like everyone. There are certainly people I've met who are genuinely nice, but I just dont click with and that's totally fine.
Hi Shannon! Like you, my husband Tom isn't a "typical" French guy in a lot of ways either. I call him my "American with a French accent" even though he's never lived abroad or anything. ;-) Thanks for watching!
what is the "typical french guy" to you ?
Yes! Living here two months now, and I’ve already found myself feeling uncomfortable when I leave the house because I’ve been trying to blend in since I feel like an intruder and I’m disturbing the local French people just by being around (I live in a small city). Thank you for this encouragement and real talk, Diane.
Shoulds suck! Love that. Making you feel like you’ve failed at something you haven’t even tried yet.
Also, been feeling the pressure of family and friends telling people “wow people would kill to be in your shoes” I feel like I need to live my life here FOR all those people who would kill to be in this situation! But NO of course not, I’m living real life here not on a vacation.
You’re so great Diane, I wish you the best!
Hello from Gensac! As so happens many times, I feel as if you are talking to me. We have been in France for 3 1/2 years. I first felt lost when I was starting to meet people. Everyone was so much younger than me. I had friends in the states who had known me for 25 years. I missed having people who just knew me and were in similar life experiences.
I also feel that you can be doing just fine and then BAM something comes out of left field and throws you for a loop! When someone is hurtful and you question the way you are doing things.
Thanks for all the work that you do.
Diane, the more I watch you the more I see your Light. TY so much for your work 👍💖🙏🏼
Thank you: good to hear, to live anywhere! :D
France can be really complicated if you try to stick on all our traditions and tendancies ... In fact, we sometimes need a good broom action to simplify all this (maybe valuable for any "ancient" country).
Marvelous! Being truthful about “What Is” gives me far more helpful insight than painting a sanitized, disney-esque Instagram picture of your adventures. On a philosophical level it’s far more interesting to include all of it. You show the beauty and the struggles. This is learning about Culture in its best light. My compassion goes out to all expats around the world who are in a special kind of twilight zone. Keep sharing! Gratitude. Subscribed.
Been there and done all of that in Paris. Thank you for letting folks who may go to France, if we don't all die from covid first, know their feelings are not just their own. I wish when I lived in France before I started to learn French I had your thoughts. Very well done.
Very well said (for all, living abroad or not) with a positive, hope filled attitude! By the way, there is a saying for all to consider to follow "Never should on others (or yourself)"
Good shout on the anxiety we ex-pats go through after living abroad! I moved to the UK in 2008 and the most difficult aspect of my new life was building friendships. So many people have their friends from school so it takes a big effort to build new friendships when you're adapting to new social norms! I hope I'm still myself but I think we naturally pick up some behaviours of our adopted country too.
Whenever I start getting anxiety about my choice to live abroad, it helps to remind myself of the things I wouldn't have had if I had still been in the US. For example I've travelled to many amazing places (Bruges, Rome, etc) and I get 5.5 weeks vacation which I often spend with my daughter when she's on a school break. In the US I remember my mother working most of the time and I missed out on time with her. It's a blessing to have the work/life balance where I live. Life will never be perfect so we've got to make the best of what we have :)
I've lived abroad (in Africa) for over 10 years. I started by learning the culture and wanting to be respectful of it, which is overall a good thing. But at some point, I accepted that I'm still me, and I can keep parts of my own culture, too.
Thank you for a very thoughtful piece, for France or Anywhere.
Bonjour... I am emotional about the content of this video. I lived in a foreign country for a couple of years as a child. And that was hard and , of course, wonderful in many ways. Its helpful to have your family around you as I did but when you are outside the family, as in school, you are on your own! Interestingly enough, it sort of prepared me for a workplace environment that I have been in for years where the business owners are so different from me. However, I found myself losing myself to try to dumb/numb down to fit in. BIG MISTAKE! It took me a long time to find my authentic self again and unveil myself to myself and my co-workers. I've grown a lot from the struggles and I've gotten to know myself better. I am a good person. The trick is to care as much about your self as you do about others and in many situations, you must care about ( and for yourself ) more than you do the others who appear to be cruel when they don't share your values or point of view. Thank you for sharing this!
Love the vlog Diane! I'm pretty jealous you get to live in France. 🇫🇷❤️
This is great advice for life anywhere! Such a good message to stay grounded and not compare yourself to others or what you think you should be. Thank you.
Beautifully said and appreciated world around. Thank you for all your hard work and presenting these videos that are relatable to all.🌎🌍🌏
So very true.
This was great to watch! Living abroad is so hard and we all have to stick together to push through. I’m definitely at the point of living abroad where I’m starting to question what is home? I’m an American currently living in Lyon for the past two years.
This is such a truthful ex-pat vlog. I knew a fellow Brit ex-pat who tried very hard to be 'French'. She says Ooh La La to French people ALL the time. I have never heard anyone French say Ooh La La. lol
We do though
French people do say this quite often
My Mother in law said that when she saw the neighbor's dachshund. Ooh la la
They usually use it to express frustration, but Americans and Brits seem to think it's like romantic or sensual
Thanks Diane, your videos deal so well with the issues one faces when living abroad
You're welcome, so glad you like them!
Hi Diane! Thanks for the Life wisdom. I have been enjoying your videos and am inspired to visit France again after the pandemic is over. I am looking forward to seeing
more from you. 😊
I am so grateful to have discovered your channel.. Just catching up on the videos. Thank you for being candid and genuine. You take is spot on as far as I am concerned. signed ~ a kindred spirit
Welcome!! Thank you!
Loved all the new things you love . I think I’ll be asking for one of those beautiful bowls . Already visited the website. Thanks Diane , as usual... great video.
This video resonates with me a lot (found your channel through one of the expat groups we are both in, so we are in a very similar situation, I guess). I try so much to assimilate, to do everything the way my french coworkers do, I wear the colours they find acceptable, I started to cook the French way because my coworkers talk about food so much. I actually feel like you caught me because I thought I found the transition to living here so easy because I was so flexible and just adapted to almost everything they do ... except the time I get hungry at night, but hey, lockdown and curfew made 18:30 very acceptable to eat dinner.
I love how you express your life philosophy and spirituality through language. “It speaks to me.” “It has an energy about it.”
Good advice for life, no matter where you are living. Sometimes the expectations and "shoulds" come from your own family. I really like your new segment about things you love! (new to me now)
Yep, just straight across the board, excellent life advice. Thanks!
Merci 🙏 Diane!
Je suis étudiant de Atlanta en Français et I get frustrated @ times feeling that some of my French is missing pieces.
Thank you for your encouragement and reassurance.
I mostly refer to your videos about expat life in France because you so thorough.
I am truly enjoying France.
Please take care Madame!
Merci beaucoup!
😊👍⚜️
Great presentation Diane 👏 I'm with you on the word "should"
I enjoy your feature segments that talk about things you like. I wouldnt mind seeing some more on local (to you) items that are available world wide.
Bonjour Diane, I am so glad I found your channel and I enjoy the topics you choose. I too lived in France and worked there, I am a New Zealander, and I had the hard choice but came back to NZ to live. I visit as often as I can, and so much you discuss is familiar, especially today's topic which struck a chord. I feel if one is at home in oneself it is so much easier to manage your life anywhere, but especially when things get hard. I also like you new final segment. It is a great idea. Take care.
Thank you so much!
Diane, what great advice - Thank you for sharing your heart! This was very helpful. ☺️
You’re ability to share insights and wisdom on your experiences offers a great view for us who haven’t lived abroad, thank you.
I LOVE you and this Diane. This should be a public service announcement. Bisous! x
Haha! Fancy Unicorn’s ! That’s a great phrase. I think you’re great. I love the humor in your blog and really am enjoying your videos . Thank you for your honesty. You’re crushing it girl! Oh! I bought the hair clip, it’s great,.
Keeping it real, honest and encouraging! For the win. 😊
You really, really spoke to me...thanks for being vulnerable and putting yourself out there for us...merci!! "Give yourself space and grace" - wise words
I'm binge-watching your channel which is so interesting, merci Diane
I had the reverse experience, I lived in the US for 9 years and I never really adapted... but then I admit that I didn't really try to, I mean I always felt that it wasn't my culture and that I would eventually end up moving back to France (which I have :)
Really good advise, be you! Thanks Diane.
I received my MADLY IN LOVE WITH DOGS t-shirt today. I LOVE IT and sorry to shout. Can't wait for warm weather to strut my stuff. Thank you.
Awesome, so glad! Thank you for supporting my channel. ;-)
Vlogging (as you expertly do), may also help you connect with and express your authentic self. Keep up the fantastic vids, i'm utterly addicted and missing my time in France!
I really enjoy your channel so much. I wish I had the opportunity to live in France. But meanwhile I love your channel. Thanks for making it.
Bonjour Diane! Oh my gosh. This video is absolutely wonderful, as are you! What wonderful life lessons, abroad or not! Your channel is one of my favorites and I am grateful for your hard work! I hope you have a safe, lovely week!
Merci, Diane! I for one have always idealized living in France and have been realizing that it isn't all macaron and baguettes (for free!). Your latest video helped me even further to once again recognize there can be issues no matter where you live. Since I live in Hawaii, I have come across that: people think the rain here is always gentle and falls with little rainbows in each drop! Not so! We do occasionally have hurricanes. It's not all mai tais and balmy weather.
Also, one of the "things I love" that I would like to see in your new segment is what other blogs you love...
Thanks for sharing your wise counsel! We'll keep watching.
Yes, I think it's so easy to idealize life elsewhere, whether that's France or Hawaii!
Good idea about blogs I love. I'll try to do that on an upcoming segment. Thank you!
@@OuiInFrance Diane, I thought of other things I love that you could use in Things I Love: towns in France, musicians, poets (Amanda Gorman!!) fictitious characters (Hello Kitty, Grumpy Cat), French Painters. I'll stop now..Looking forward to your next episode!
Great advice for living in any country at any time. Do what you like! Be peaceful and meditate, or meditate and be peaceful.
Diane, You are so inspiring in this video. Thank you!
I could not agree more with the points you made, Diane! Excellent advice for living abroad, or, as others have mentioned, anywhere else. But as a fellow expat, I do know the feeling you're talking about of pressure to do this, say that, dress this way, behave that way, etc. that you're referencing. It comes in ebbs and flows, in my experience. Thanks for the encouragement to help put that icky feeling back in its place where it belongs! 😊
Thanks Alyssa, here's to squashing the icky!! : :: raises glass :: :
You don't have to leave the country to feel like that. I grew up in Quebec, Canada coming from a French family. Before the age of 10 we moved to the English side of Canada (Ontario). Culture shock!!! Having to learn a new language, everything was different. You could go back home, for me being so young, this was now home. Learn to live with what you are given is the key sentence here. If all you do is complain, you will find your niche. Adapt. I enjoy your channel, it makes me laugh at some of the awkwardness you face. Same as I did on the flip side. Keep posting.
Brillant advice, thanks for sharing.
I don't live abroad, but this is just pure good advice for anyone. Personally, I'm coming off a few years of high stress that made me sad, angry, depresses....and now that I have less stress I can look back and see how I was effected by what was going on in my life. Looking back, I feel like a pretty strong woman for getting through it all and still smiling! I liked this video and liked how you ended it with things you love!
I'm glad all of that is behind you now, Megan, and glad the advice spoke to you!
I'll never move to France but take real inspiration from this talk -- kind of applies to life itself. Merci chérie!
Great video, Diane! I can relate to most of your reflections on living abroad/living in France. Once I quit worrying about speaking ‘perfect’ French, life became much less stressful for me. I have also found that most French people I have come in contact with are quite helpful (patient?), or maybe I’m just getting used to the lifestyle here! 😉
Very patient in my experience as well! Granted, I don't live in Paris so maybe things would be different there. I always think about how pre-living abroad Diane might act toward a French woman who just moved to the US, someone who mixes up words and seems so out of place. Living abroad has made me see things from the other side and I was thinking about making a video about that, like what changes when you're the one who is foreign, after living your life in NYC with foreigners all around you and always hearing accents.
Thanks for watching!
@@OuiInFrance - I taught English as a second language in Mexico and the Republic of Georgia, and it made me much more appreciative of how hard it can be to learn a foreign language (English!), and if my students just put forth the effort, I figured ‘kudos to them’, even if they mixed up the words or got the tenses wrong. Maybe the French are doing the same with me....I hope!
So much smartness in all what you say ! Tes explications, réflections sont pleines d'intelligence et de vérité, si seulement tous les Américains pouvaient penser comme toi, le monde serait meilleur.
Thank you! I don't think you have to live abroad to go through that sense of a bit of alienation. I have gone through that to an even greater degree here in the US over the last 4 years than I did in France. I found myself dealing with a lot of anxiety & fear, oh and yes, depression, as I felt as if I was living in an upside down snow globe. This was not the America I thought I knew. I longed to be back in France--as if France had no political or racist issues. I think it is simply the sense that sometimes we feel as if we are not standing on solid ground. As you describe in this video, what is required is the ability to self reflect. It has to start with a sense of stability that can only come from really knowing who I am and then finding compassion for myself in the judgements I have on that.
Hi Diane, your video resonated a lot with me. It's great to hear what you said. I live in Ecuador since 15 years ago. There are ups and downs, and pros and cons living in a different country. But this is the case no matter where in the world we live. We gain a lot of insight from living abroad , and I appreciate so many aspects of where we live, but at times I go through just what you described . Thanks! Your videos are great ☀️☀️☀️
Thank you for another great video. Love French products and was wondering if you've checked out Letol Scarves made in Charlieu. They are hand woven and eco-concious. Hard to find in US.
You are giving good advice Diane❣️What you have said goes along with Proverbs 3:5,6. God bless you and your husband❣️🥰💕🙏🏻💕
Love that bowl. Think I may have to find somewhere in my house for one of their pieces.
I'm Canadian and lived in the UK for a couple of years. It was amazing but it was also very challenging sometimes (and I didn't even need to do the work of learning a new language). This is a great video for anyone trying the adventure of living in a different country. You are so right, real life doesn't pay attention to a border.
Great advice... 💗
Love your end segment too... 😊 👍🏼
oh la laaaa, Israel, another world, and not just for me, but from all the people from Argentina, France, Brazil, Spain, USA, everywhere!!!! we can sit down together all the foreigners and eat alive all the things Israelis do, but, you learn to love them. The advices you gave to stop worrying are really good, because I think It happen to everyone, I felt very ashamed I didn't speak perfect the language and I only stressed myself more. Also I learned to appreciate myself, my culture and my efforts.
Thanks! love your channel
I love this bodeo. Your convetdation makes me feel even more confident about moving to gtance. Love ya
I’m not living abroad yet but this is still very helpful. Thank you.
I don't live abroad however the dynamics you describe in this video applies to live anywhere (including in the US)
I watch ur videos cause I enjoy them.
One more thing: I sooooo agree with you. I LOVE France and the people and what I have found is that they LOVE me being American and that has endeared me to the French and them to me. There is nothing like being yourself!
I am an American living in the USA …. My husband (from the far east) moved to the USA & married me and went through all of this…. This video is helpful for many people in the world. Thank you! ☮️💟☮️
Yes, it def applies to more than living abroad! I'm curious how you feel when you visit the US, maybe a video about that would be good.
That's a really important message, THX!🌸💝🍀👍🥰
Thank you so much for this video. I needed to hear this today. 💕
Yes, I can relate, left US in 2010 and I rely on my daughters for translations, and sometimes phone calls. I am the square peg that won't fit into the round hole.
Don't dim your spirit! Great advice!
Thank you for the video and very true. I've spend 14 years in Germany. Though I became great at the language, connected with what is normal in Germany and on first glance didn't stand out any more I never became German. And I learned it wasn't expected. I was and still am Dutch. Becoming any nationality perfectly is unattainable. Germans bicker about what it means to be German so how could a Dutchie be perfect. Being me and respectfully bringing some Dutch flavour to the conversation was the best I could do. Had fun and was a bit sad when I had to move back to the Netherlands :)
you're right, wherever you live, remain who you are is certainly the best way to find your way out in any country ! remain who you are with open mind of course ! In my life I lived in different place in the world, even as a child, sometimes without really knowing the language, which I picked up naturally pretty fast, and each foreign experience has enriched me ! I felt everywhere at ease, had of course preferences, but thats normal, and by the way, I'm french, and my life has shown me that the most stupid attitude starts with racism and or pointing out differences as to be negativ , it's the contrary, that's where you challenge yourself to learn and decide if it suits you or not, but even if it doesn't it's not important, in your own country you do not apply to everything either ! just remain yourself, remain curious and open minded , and every abroad experience will enrich your life-
As long as you learn the language of your new country and accept (you do not have to participate) their culture, then I fully agree with you.
I am from German Parents who were living semi-German in the USA. Whenever I was in Germany my Aunts & Uncles tried to help me adjust the other half-way from semi-German to Full German. The best help that I had was from my cousins. They all were very helpful, each in their own way, whether they were older or younger than me. What I missed the most was the familiarity of being in a city that I knew well. What I loved the most was the delicious food and Chocolate, the beautiful countryside, and the excellent train service.
My maternal Grandmother was from Alsais-Lorain, where I visited my mother's cousin. I studied one year of French in 9th Grade in the USA prior to the visit & it did not help me one wit😊. In college, back in USA, I minored in Linguistics plus German (of course), French, and Spanish with a smattering of Swedish. I did teach math & Spanish grammar (both in Spanish) to Central Americans for a few years in the USA. I never did find a way to keep up my French (still reading well & speaking poorly). I relate to your experience and applaud you for your persistence and attitude.
"Don't Trust the Rabbit" is a UA-cam channel of a German Frau, with a South American husband, both living in Germany, who tries to bridge the gap between America & Germany for Americans. She enlists the occasional help of non-German Americans who are now living in Germany and trying to adjust to new customs & new social expectations.
Whenever you have the time it would be interesting to view a conversation between you and a French friend who had the experience of living in, and adjusting to, the USA and is now back in France. What subtle behaviors trip visitors to France and America up? Another topic could be words, phrases, or translations that trip people up, both from French to English & English to French. What advice would she give to Americans contemplating moving to France. What advice from her would you have wished you had before moving to France? Are there difficult / tricky to use or difficult / tricky to translate words? 😃
Very very well said. U r just wonderful dear. Greetings from Dubai.
Well said! This goes for living abroad and for Francophiles everywhere. I have met so many women trying to be French...following to the letter what they have read in books. BE YOURSELF are words to live by!
You bring up a really good point about books, Kimberly. I think it can be worthwhile and fun to try new things and ways of dressing or living life, so the books have their place, but I think it becomes problematic when authors tout the "French way" as the best way or the only thing to aspire to and if you don't do things this way or that way, that you're wrong or less cultured or whatever.
I see that all the time, often written in a tone that talks down to women. I think if books instructing people to act French actually help the person and make them a better version of themselves and bring value to their life, then fine, for some people maybe it'll be a positive thing and I have no issue with that. It's when we steamroll the things that make us US for the sake of it that it becomes problematic. It's when these rules make us second guess ourselves as we are, you know? Anyway, I think I could write a book about THAT! Hhaha, thank you for watching!
You offer some great advice. To paraphrase Sheryl Crow, in "soak up the Sun" you need to want what you have, not have what you want. I think you were kind of saying the same thing. I became a better person in my 40s when I stopped lusting power and excessive wealth and learned to accept my wonderful family, good health and enough money to be reasonably comfortable..
I gave up trying to be francophone or a Québécois. I'm a Newfoundland-Canadian who has lived in Québec for a long time. I don't try anymore to sound Québécois. I can imitate a Frenchy accent, but not so much a Québec accent.
My world is different. Folks in French Québec are used to living next to the USA and their Canadian neighbours. I fit in well enough. They often find my accent quaint, but I don't get questioned a lot.
I try to be me now. Je parle français, j'ai même un bacc. en études françaises, mais mon accent c'est du John. 😁🖐️🇨🇦
I understand, being ourselves is the best thing we can do as we go through life ;-)
Thank you for being honest...Just be yourself and breathe....It's okay..
And I got some hair clips and earrings. Gorgeous!
Have you considered partnering with US Military installation in Europe to share your life experiences and what has worked for you and what has not been so good?
Hi Richard, no I haven't and am not too familiar with how that would work? Feel free to email me if it's something you've done and would like to chat privately. Thanks!
@@OuiInFrance would be difficult to find US Military installations in France.... maybe in Germany or Italy on the continent (and Great Britain in the UK) ?
I have lived in several European countries
and have been told in conversations with locals
is that I often know more of the history of the country
that I am living in.
I was in an English class trying to explain the British parliament
and compared it to the Thirty Years War.
I ended up explaining the Thirty Years War to Germans in English!
"You know more about our history than I do. We were never taught this at school"
BTW when I sojourned in France for eight months
I was surprised by the large number of fast food joints
in the out of town developments with the supermarkets and hypermarché
I had assumed that most French folks ate home-cooked French cuisine
when a lot of them are troughing burgers and fries
or in chains of restaurants selling Alsatian cuisine.
Weirdly Alsatian cuisine is admired for its heartiness
both in France and in Germany
The tarte flambée or Flammkuchen comes from
that region and is a popular pizza alternative here at least.
Damn great life advice
i think living abroad is nice, is more challenging and helps to know yourself better. You have to live everyday at 200% . It is rewarding and make you stronger. Of course challenges evolve. At first , we have to improve and blend , once at the correct level, you know the codes, can be yourself, not play a role ..the feeling of 2nd class person disappears and feel that your home is where you choosed it :-) ..
Thank you
Thank you for your valuable insight, Diane.
I wonder what would be harder, an American living in France, or a French living in the US:
Makes sense I am French living in the states.A lot of things here do not make sense to me,I do not try to be who I am not
Dépression amongst expats is clearly a thing. It’s really well documented in many studies. After the “wooow” time that you mentioned really well, comes the down. So yes it’s something to expect as someone living abroad. And this is even more the case when the person moved for something that is not his job. Because people moving for their jobs have a whole network when they arrive, and they are kept busy. But when the case is that you followed your partner moving for his/her job, or you moved to meet a partner living abroad, yes things can be even more difficult . So yes keep doing those kind of videos , it will probably resonate with new à whole new audience !
Loved this one heard you laugh 😊
I've lived in France for 16 years,I have a French wife . I've picked apples,washed dishes and delivered fruit & veg,do I regret moving to france.yes 100%.I miss England everyday.but my family have thrived,so some good has came out of it.for what it's worth,it's not France, it's a great country,it's me
What a great message, Diane. I've never lived abroad but this spoke to me in other ways.
As a french I find it a good idea for foreigners to stay themselves while respecting french costumes. They add some richness.
You are so right
You're a wise woman. Don't "should on yourself". Thanks for your words and your grace. Enjoy your life ahead!
You always have beautiful painted nails. Are beauty salons allowed to open right now in your area?
Thank you! Since I was a teen, having nicely manicured nails has always been my "thing." A fun way to express my personality. I love sparkles. More than hair or makeup or whatever. LOVE NAILS. Sometimes I let them grow long and sometimes short, but always on point. ;-)
Currently yes, salons are open but are subject to the nationwide curfew which is 6 p.m. Masks are required and they have additional safety procedures to follow but for the time being they are open. Hoping we don't head into another lockdown...
Thanks for watching!
@@OuiInFrance I just discovered your channel and I love your personality! Thanks for the answer. Bisous.
@@juliannetrinh1999 You're welcome and welcome to my channel. ;-)
I’m coming late but I just wanted to throw this idea out there, Diane. It looks like you were experiencing a very American performance anxiety of feeling like you had to excel at everything to assimilate in the French culture. Americans are brought up to be so performance-driven that it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing everything as a challenge or contest and to believe that if you don’t knock it out of the ballpark on the first try then you’re a failure.
Ironically it seems you had to let go of this very American push for perfection before you could accept back in your life, parts of the American culture that are most meaningful to you.
Having lived in France and Germany, I can say that the people in those two countries don’t put pressure on themselves to succeed in everything like the Americans do. I appreciated the mindshift when I was over there.