Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
The last point was definitely my fault, I always tried to apply logic to the problem behaviors, and tried to help her gain insight of how we are getting derailed, asked her to please help us out and I will do the same, but it just digs the hole deeper and deeper. And it is a rabbit hole of epic proportions
I read these comments and everyone has an interesting point of view that I can relate to. You mentioned the rabbit hole and that's exactly what it is...a hole so deep it goes straight to hell. I kept letting myself go deeper & deeper until I had to climb out... These cluster B personalities make NO sense. The answer is to STOP ruminating on what they say because it makes NO sense, only to them. I wasted 2 years of my life on a woman I THOUGHT was the ONE. I didn't die the hero, I lived long enough to become the villian.
Same here. I tried to find solutions for her, to make her see that her erratic behavior was eroding our relationship, kindly suggested going to therapy, yoga, anything to help her manage her overwhelming emotions. It would backfire of course. She would then accuse me of trying to break her already fragile self esteem. If I tried simply listening to her victim stories (victim of her upbringing, her exes, her coworkers, her poor health, her "disrespectful" daughter...), she would see my lack of reaction as evidence that I didn't care about her and never loved her. It took me almost 3 years to understand. They don't want solutions. They want control. They get that control by creating and sustaining a swiss-precision cycle of drama and love-bombing. Rinse and repeat
Was married to a covert narcissistic wife for 20 years, after the divorce it literally took me 7 years before i even started to feel like my old self. These monsters truly steal everything that makes you you, and even when you get away from them, it still takes a VERY long time to refind yourself.
Damn, I was with one for 15 years. During that time I found my own ways to defend myself even though I wasn't familiar to what Cluster B disorders were, kinda proud of that but now I find it getting harder now that I'm approaching 3 years of being narc free. I was happy and dating for a while but while dating I noticed behaviors within myself that made me decide to stop dating. I don't want to be vampire to someone elses life like she was to mine. I was wondering if you have any tips to speed up the process.
man i almost lost my good paying job from where im from lucky i have it back we both work there but luckily she works a different shift then i do i avoid talking to anyone but my friends there and i just do my job now they are ruthless with no sense of empathy
@alexameskoa1010 I found surrounding myself with family, my church congregation, and close friends helped most. But damn it, it still takes a looong time to get her out of your system (even with remembering all her aweful attacks and gaslighting). A friend told me once that when you get yourself to the "I just honestly don't give a $hit about her anymore", only then can you consider yourself "over her".
What a great blessing so many of your teachings have been to me. I find your manner of presentation both calm and soothing. Could merrily listen to you all day. Thank you so much for all your help.
@@LiseLeblanc I agree with the above posted comment...its so pleasant to listen to your voice and the way how you explain us everything. Thank you for your videos!!!❤😘
Oh how i wish 😲OH how i wish i heard these words 40 years ago … you young’s guys listen to this Lady snd save your heart for a good Woman . someone who truly cares for you . man … 40 years i can’t get back .. but today i have found a true and trusted friend i met at 5 years old 😊 we married one year ago and we are both VERY HAPPY ❤️❤️❤️. thank you Lise your wise words helped me so much 😎
Realized my ex was a covert narcissist and i was calling her out on her behavior so many times but she made me feel so guilty for questioning her i believed i was doing wrong and tried to make it up to her so many times she promised me a long term healthy relationship and her loyalty but she was lying and then i realized i was in a game she would publicly humiliate me on the phone at our job and she would start fights in my car i had a fog over me thinking this was normal now just some weeks after no contact i realized what she is and i feel humiliated at my job and how my friends and co workers see me she even recorded our fights and made it seem like i was driving erracticly i feel as she wants to expose me for being abusive i cant believe a person like this exists and i want no part of this type of toxicity ever again in my life i hope everyone runs from these fake nice people that abuse you in private and plays victim to get you in jail these people need help
AI has made things so much easier for me. I analyze it for all forms of manipulation and toxic communication with messages from my ex. It will always ask if it can help me with a response. It definetly takes the emotions to a lower level for me. Conversations end a lot sooner. I have also used it on conversations from the past to look at ways I communicated and how to improve myself
I've done this too. I've typed out the stories from my relationship with my ex, and it even pointed out things as gaslighting, which I'd never thought about.
Using everything she knew about me -- against me -- is underestimated. This was the most frustrating thing about her. Making everything all my fault was what really gave her away. She used childbirth and my flaws to give herself power. Believe me everything was a contest. Finally after almost seven years and several times coming back I realized we were playing different games. She didn't just want to win she wanted to dominate. Thankfully I was smart enough to see this and saw her trying to control the narrative. It took a long while to see that there was someone like this in the world. I was so naive.
A covert narcissist is someone who craves admiration and importance as well as lacks empathy toward others but can act in a different way than an overt narcissist. When considering the behavior of narcissists, it might be hard to imagine how someone could be a narcissist and be inhibited in their approach and behavior. A covert narcissist may be outwardly self-effacing or withdrawn in their approach, but the end goals are the same. For example, this might be described as listening to your favorite song while blasting the volume, compared to listening to that same song on a low volume. The song itself hasn't changed, just the volume in which you are listening. Covert narcissists are only different from overt (more obvious) narcissists in that they tend to be more introverted. The overt narcissist is easily identified because they tend to be loud, arrogant, and insensitive to the needs of others and always thirsty for compliments Their behaviors can be easily observed by others and tend to show up as "big" in a room. When we think of an overt narcissist, we could say they demonstrate more extroverted behaviors in their interactions with others. Many people have fallen victim to the manipulative behaviors of a covert narcissist without realizing what has happened until they are already in emotional pain. It might be more accurate to suggest that the extroverted (overt) narcissist would be a lot easier to see coming than the introverted (covert) narcissist. It is not unusual for people to find themselves in long-term relationships with covert narcissists only to be hurt by a sense of a lack of partnership or reciprocity in the relationship The covert narcissist certainly craves importance and thirsts for admiration but it can look different to those around them. They might give back-handed compliments, or purposefully minimize their accomplishments or talents so that people will offer them reassurance of how talented they are. The overt narcissist will demand admiration and attention, where the covert narcissist will use softer tactics to meet those same goals. The covert narcissist will be much more likely to constantly seek reassurance about their talents, skills, and accomplishments, looking for others to feed that same need for self-importance. Shaming others is a wonderful tactic of the narcissist in order to secure their sense of an elevated position in relation to others. The overt (extroverted) narcissist might be more obvious in their approach to gaining leverage, such as explicitly putting you down, being rude, criticizing you, and being sarcastic. covert narcissists can take joy in creating confusion for someone they are interacting with. They may not engage in blaming or shaming, but instead, causing people to question their perceptions and second-guess themselves. Because their need for self-importance reigns supreme, covert narcissists will do whatever they need to do in order to keep the focus on themselves. So, where an extroverted narcissist will blatantly push you aside or manipulate you to accomplish their goal, the covert narcissist is a professional at not acknowledging you at all. In general, narcissists are not givers. They find it difficult to put energy into anything that doesn't serve them in some way. A covert narcissist might present themselves in a way that looks like they are giving, but their giving behavior is only demonstrated with the intent of getting something in return. A simple, everyday example could be something like putting a tip in the jar at your local coffee shop. A covert narcissist would be much more likely to put their tip in the jar when they know the barista is looking, in order to help facilitate some kind of interaction that allows them to be praised for giving. Additionally, If you need to uncover the truth about a cheating narcissist, send your request to *MetaspyHub@gmail. com* for discreet and effective assistance.
Using these tactics requires two conditions: 1. Admit to yourself that the narcissist is not interested in solving problems; 2. Emotional distance or better still disconnect. This applies to all emotional abusers.
If your narcissist is behaving badly, go no contact. Stop communicating with them. Don't text, speak on the phone, or do any type of communication with them. You may have to go to no contact for months or maybe years. Choose to not contact them until their behavior becomes better. As far as, their rudeness becomes less. Don't argue. State whatever you have to say then leave it there. Don't become overly aggravated. I think they will like that. If you feel yourself becoming too angry, stop speaking to them.
They are max 3 years old mentally. So anything that works with a 3 years old, will also work with them. But the problem is it's always late when we get this. And sometimes even though we get it, we gaslight ourselves thatay be they got better. But in the end, they are just same. I got discared from her 2 months ago and it was out of the blue. Before that I managed to keep it going. We were supposed to get married soon. The day she discarded me, just after 1 week she got engaged and married. I managed to find out that this fool is total fool. He fell for her beauty.
@clintonnagy1662 Yeah, when I met her, she was all broken and suicidal. I thought since since she isn't that much in the age, she has a chance of getting better. I managed to make her better. But in the end, I got the lesson the hard way, they never get better, it's just all dust in the wind and castle of sand. Even the glass isn't that fragile as their brain is. After I got discarded, I tried to reach to her anyway possible, but she created a barrier of flying monkeys and everything, I couldn't. She threat'ned to k'll me. These all happened within 1 week. My mother got all surprised and shocked, she is a patient of heart problem. Simply, many things happened what can I say, my English isn',t good. Only 2 days ago, she called me, I thought, finally I'll get a closure, I'll get some answers. But guess what, she still tried to blame shift on me that it was ally fault. At the same time she said that something bad happened to her. Out of 42 mins, she alone talked mone that 35 mins, I guess. After that, there is only 1 friends of her, who is kinda authentic. She told me, "There is a chance that she is getting some lessons, she is getting what she lost."
@clintonnagy1662 I don't know why but I replied a long story here, it got deleted or something. Anyway it was in short, When I met her, she was all broken, but when she got everything from me, she discarded me for higher ambitions.
@narcHealing21 I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes relationships make no sense....or why we fall in love with people who aren't good for us? My last relationship with her will always be the best & worst in my life. I'm 51 & NEVER find that fire & ice like that. My time is running out for a relationship of that intensity.
@@clintonnagy1662 Sorry to hear that. Yeah, normal relationship break up su'ks, but relationship with a narc makes us empty, numb. Simply they take away everything that they don't have. They are empty, so they make us empty. I'm trying to heal.
THANK YOU!! After researching strategies, I even used Deepseek, I’ve implemented some of these very same ones and found that they work. Actually understanding what I’m up against has helped me tremendously. For the most part when encountering an argument brewing I remind myself to stay calm & grounded. Be the adult in the room. One area in which I need to work on is being quiet and stop rendering solutions to her problems or situations. No matter how well meaning or correct it usually turns out bad for me. In stopping or reducing this I will not only be able to de-escalate a situation but avoid it altogether. Again THANK YOU!
my mom is the covert narc and my dad is dismissive avoidant codependent and defends her behavior when I try to talk to him about it, whether how it affects me or affects him she and I have learned to conflict when he's not around, but, last I did have conflict with her she was so horrible I went into a rage of spewing truths about her behavior to her and letting her know what I think about it all and then went grey rock and she now avoids me and hasn't violated boundaries as before
help from AI !!! oh my !!! i’m 71 years old and never thought it would come to this ! using your phone to help you figure out what to say 😲. be careful with that one kids 👦🏻
Brother, I’m 72 and have met yet another of life’s challenges in dealing with this covert narcissist situation. Use whatever tool you need that will help you survive & prevail.
These are all great tools for dealing with a covert narcissist, a psychopath or sociopath. I wish I was better prepared prior to having had dealings with those types
I wish I knew then what I know, i could have saved myself from a lot of the mental abuse I endured now but I'm glad got out after 4 years what's the name of the AI app.?
hmmm, have tried all sorts of things last was go into a raging fury of spewing truth about their suckery then went silent treatment/grey rock (which I'd done before but was ineffective) now that she knows what I think about her, she's kind of shut up and avoids the conflicts she used to push it's my mom
Grey-rocking works best for me. Shaking my head only signals to her that I’m not really listening and I’ve already made up my mind or thinking about how I’m going to respond. If it’s something that escalates then I try to mentally step back and think of her as an 8 year old version of the woman I know. I have to be the adult in the conversation and remain calm. If there is gaslighting going on, I’ll come out point blank and say -Stop gaslighting me. I’ll explain how she is gaslighting. She usually doesn’t have a response. She’s still mad. But it’s not my fault.
@@LiseLeblancI take on (at least internally to avoid escalation ) the mindset of being the adult in the room, not in a confrontational or condescending manner but calm. Not only keeps the peace but my sanity.
:No contact is best for a man , narc rage is the worst! and a man cannot defend , or even deflect a strike or he will go to jail. so your stuck with a toddler acting out with NO consequence
@@mst8521 most of the time they are very attractive people, which made it hard for me to break away. but now im free and have my integrity, and pride , whenever i feel like reaching out, or responding when she hovers i have dozens of mean hurtful text mssgs i can read and remind me not to
was on the verge of leaving my CN but they promised they see how its been and that they would work on being better. They are doing and saying all the "right" things. Is it possible for them to fake remorse and taking responsibility to lure me back in? This stuff is confusing
Yes this is a very common thing for narcs to fake empathy and promise to change until your sucked back in with hope and love then repeat the cycle. Very very common.
Uhg....Im guilty of long-ass messages explaining my point of view. Im guilty of raging out when she triggers me...Ive tried different methods but I couldnt hold to my own rules after the gas lighting, blame shifting, and guilt trips.
Liz when I held her accountable for disgusting behaviour on messages she dosnt block me . Why ? I caught not only lying but cheating etc . Why does she hold on even though I blocked her . I have asked her to explain but never does
When you're talking about a covert narcissist what you really talking about is someone with BPD right? Because there's way more people with BPD than covert narcissism, right?
This advice doesn’t necessarily apply or benefit someone who has been deemed as the scapegoat within multiple generations of covertly narcissistic family of origin dynamics 💔🧘♀️❤️🩹❤️🔥💛 it’s a whole different subcategory of trauma recovery processes 😑😌👌💓
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Suzanne ann walters, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
The last point was definitely my fault, I always tried to apply logic to the problem behaviors, and tried to help her gain insight of how we are getting derailed, asked her to please help us out and I will do the same, but it just digs the hole deeper and deeper. And it is a rabbit hole of epic proportions
Yup. Trying to save her and the relationship. Trying to get her to improve, but that’s not what she’s interested in.
Exactly! Logic is not something they want to hear about. It infuriates them even more. They like living in a world where 2+2 = 5.
She will improve,she will become better in the game she play
I read these comments and everyone has an interesting point of view that I can relate to. You mentioned the rabbit hole and that's exactly what it is...a hole so deep it goes straight to hell. I kept letting myself go deeper & deeper until I had to climb out... These cluster B personalities make NO sense. The answer is to STOP ruminating on what they say because it makes NO sense, only to them.
I wasted 2 years of my life on a woman I THOUGHT was the ONE. I didn't die the hero, I lived long enough to become the villian.
Same here. I tried to find solutions for her, to make her see that her erratic behavior was eroding our relationship, kindly suggested going to therapy, yoga, anything to help her manage her overwhelming emotions.
It would backfire of course. She would then accuse me of trying to break her already fragile self esteem.
If I tried simply listening to her victim stories (victim of her upbringing, her exes, her coworkers, her poor health, her "disrespectful" daughter...), she would see my lack of reaction as evidence that I didn't care about her and never loved her.
It took me almost 3 years to understand. They don't want solutions. They want control. They get that control by creating and sustaining a swiss-precision cycle of drama and love-bombing.
Rinse and repeat
Was married to a covert narcissistic wife for 20 years, after the divorce it literally took me 7 years before i even started to feel like my old self. These monsters truly steal everything that makes you you, and even when you get away from them, it still takes a VERY long time to refind yourself.
Damn, I was with one for 15 years. During that time I found my own ways to defend myself even though I wasn't familiar to what Cluster B disorders were, kinda proud of that but now I find it getting harder now that I'm approaching 3 years of being narc free. I was happy and dating for a while but while dating I noticed behaviors within myself that made me decide to stop dating. I don't want to be vampire to someone elses life like she was to mine. I was wondering if you have any tips to speed up the process.
man i almost lost my good paying job from where im from lucky i have it back we both work there but luckily she works a different shift then i do i avoid talking to anyone but my friends there and i just do my job now they are ruthless with no sense of empathy
@alexameskoa1010 I found surrounding myself with family, my church congregation, and close friends helped most. But damn it, it still takes a looong time to get her out of your system (even with remembering all her aweful attacks and gaslighting). A friend told me once that when you get yourself to the "I just honestly don't give a $hit about her anymore", only then can you consider yourself "over her".
What a great blessing so many of your teachings have been to me. I find your manner of presentation both calm and soothing. Could merrily listen to you all day. Thank you so much for all your help.
@@Kallejulmust thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it!
@@LiseLeblanc I agree with the above posted comment...its so pleasant to listen to your voice and the way how you explain us everything. Thank you for your videos!!!❤😘
Another great video Lise, just wanted to again express my appreciation for helping so many people.
1000% agreed!
Oh how i wish 😲OH how i wish i heard these words 40 years ago … you young’s guys listen to this Lady snd save your heart for a good Woman . someone who truly cares for you . man … 40 years i can’t get back .. but today i have found a true and trusted friend i met at 5 years old 😊 we married one year ago and we are both VERY HAPPY ❤️❤️❤️. thank you Lise your wise words helped me so much 😎
When I watch your videos I feel relieved to be out of such a "relationship". A reminder, on my way to fully forgetting and being healed.
Realized my ex was a covert narcissist and i was calling her out on her behavior so many times but she made me feel so guilty for questioning her i believed i was doing wrong and tried to make it up to her so many times she promised me a long term healthy relationship and her loyalty but she was lying and then i realized i was in a game she would publicly humiliate me on the phone at our job and she would start fights in my car i had a fog over me thinking this was normal now just some weeks after no contact i realized what she is and i feel humiliated at my job and how my friends and co workers see me she even recorded our fights and made it seem like i was driving erracticly i feel as she wants to expose me for being abusive i cant believe a person like this exists and i want no part of this type of toxicity ever again in my life i hope everyone runs from these fake nice people that abuse you in private and plays victim to get you in jail these people need help
AI has made things so much easier for me. I analyze it for all forms of manipulation and toxic communication with messages from my ex. It will always ask if it can help me with a response. It definetly takes the emotions to a lower level for me. Conversations end a lot sooner.
I have also used it on conversations from the past to look at ways I communicated and how to improve myself
I've done this too. I've typed out the stories from my relationship with my ex, and it even pointed out things as gaslighting, which I'd never thought about.
Great info you hit the nail on the head they wont change.i could write you a book about a few...
Using everything she knew about me -- against me -- is underestimated. This was the most frustrating thing about her. Making everything all my fault was what really gave her away.
She used childbirth and my flaws to give herself power. Believe me everything was a contest.
Finally after almost seven years and several times coming back I realized we were playing different games. She didn't just want to win she wanted to dominate.
Thankfully I was smart enough to see this and saw her trying to control the narrative. It took a long while to see that there was someone like this in the world. I was so naive.
A covert narcissist is someone who craves admiration and importance as well as lacks empathy toward others but can act in a different way than an overt narcissist. When considering the behavior of narcissists, it might be hard to imagine how someone could be a narcissist and be inhibited in their approach and behavior. A covert narcissist may be outwardly self-effacing or withdrawn in their approach, but the end goals are the same. For example, this might be described as listening to your favorite song while blasting the volume, compared to listening to that same song on a low volume. The song itself hasn't changed, just the volume in which you are listening. Covert narcissists are only different from overt (more obvious) narcissists in that they tend to be more introverted. The overt narcissist is easily identified because they tend to be loud, arrogant, and insensitive to the needs of others and always thirsty for compliments Their behaviors can be easily observed by others and tend to show up as "big" in a room. When we think of an overt narcissist, we could say they demonstrate more extroverted behaviors in their interactions with others.
Many people have fallen victim to the manipulative behaviors of a covert narcissist without realizing what has happened until they are already in emotional pain. It might be more accurate to suggest that the extroverted (overt) narcissist would be a lot easier to see coming than the introverted (covert) narcissist. It is not unusual for people to find themselves in long-term relationships with covert narcissists only to be hurt by a sense of a lack of partnership or reciprocity in the relationship The covert narcissist certainly craves importance and thirsts for admiration but it can look different to those around them. They might give back-handed compliments, or purposefully minimize their accomplishments or talents so that people will offer them reassurance of how talented they are. The overt narcissist will demand admiration and attention, where the covert narcissist will use softer tactics to meet those same goals. The covert narcissist will be much more likely to constantly seek reassurance about their talents, skills, and accomplishments, looking for others to feed that same need for self-importance.
Shaming others is a wonderful tactic of the narcissist in order to secure their sense of an elevated position in relation to others. The overt (extroverted) narcissist might be more obvious in their approach to gaining leverage, such as explicitly putting you down, being rude, criticizing you, and being sarcastic. covert narcissists can take joy in creating confusion for someone they are interacting with. They may not engage in blaming or shaming, but instead, causing people to question their perceptions and second-guess themselves. Because their need for self-importance reigns supreme, covert narcissists will do whatever they need to do in order to keep the focus on themselves. So, where an extroverted narcissist will blatantly push you aside or manipulate you to accomplish their goal, the covert narcissist is a professional at not acknowledging you at all. In general, narcissists are not givers. They find it difficult to put energy into anything that doesn't serve them in some way. A covert narcissist might present themselves in a way that looks like they are giving, but their giving behavior is only demonstrated with the intent of getting something in return. A simple, everyday example could be something like putting a tip in the jar at your local coffee shop. A covert narcissist would be much more likely to put their tip in the jar when they know the barista is looking, in order to help facilitate some kind of interaction that allows them to be praised for giving.
Additionally, If you need to uncover the truth about a cheating narcissist, send your request to *MetaspyHub@gmail. com* for discreet and effective assistance.
Using these tactics requires two conditions:
1. Admit to yourself that the narcissist is not interested in solving problems;
2. Emotional distance or better still disconnect.
This applies to all emotional abusers.
thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I love your channel!
Lise Leblanc saved me from a pit I dug myself. Listen up gents!
Thank you for not showing the victim as a woman. Us men suffer as well from narcissistic abuse.
If your narcissist is behaving badly, go no contact. Stop communicating with them. Don't text, speak on the phone, or do any type of communication with them. You may have to go to no contact for months or maybe years. Choose to not contact them until their behavior becomes better. As far as, their rudeness becomes less.
Don't argue. State whatever you have to say then leave it there. Don't become overly aggravated. I think they will like that. If you feel yourself becoming too angry, stop speaking to them.
I hear you but it’s not always possible to do. In cases in which you can’t the strategies laid out in this video work well.
Great idea. And what about the kids?? You seem to have NO ANY idea what dealing with such a monster means once she manipulates the kids against you.
They are max 3 years old mentally. So anything that works with a 3 years old, will also work with them. But the problem is it's always late when we get this. And sometimes even though we get it, we gaslight ourselves thatay be they got better. But in the end, they are just same. I got discared from her 2 months ago and it was out of the blue. Before that I managed to keep it going. We were supposed to get married soon. The day she discarded me, just after 1 week she got engaged and married. I managed to find out that this fool is total fool. He fell for her beauty.
What??? Wow. That's really being evil on her part.
@clintonnagy1662 Yeah, when I met her, she was all broken and suicidal. I thought since since she isn't that much in the age, she has a chance of getting better. I managed to make her better. But in the end, I got the lesson the hard way, they never get better, it's just all dust in the wind and castle of sand. Even the glass isn't that fragile as their brain is.
After I got discarded, I tried to reach to her anyway possible, but she created a barrier of flying monkeys and everything, I couldn't. She threat'ned to k'll me. These all happened within 1 week. My mother got all surprised and shocked, she is a patient of heart problem. Simply, many things happened what can I say, my English isn',t good. Only 2 days ago, she called me, I thought, finally I'll get a closure, I'll get some answers. But guess what, she still tried to blame shift on me that it was ally fault. At the same time she said that something bad happened to her. Out of 42 mins, she alone talked mone that 35 mins, I guess. After that, there is only 1 friends of her, who is kinda authentic. She told me, "There is a chance that she is getting some lessons, she is getting what she lost."
@clintonnagy1662 I don't know why but I replied a long story here, it got deleted or something. Anyway it was in short, When I met her, she was all broken, but when she got everything from me, she discarded me for higher ambitions.
@narcHealing21 I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes relationships make no sense....or why we fall in love with people who aren't good for us? My last relationship with her will always be the best & worst in my life. I'm 51 & NEVER find that fire & ice like that. My time is running out for a relationship of that intensity.
@@clintonnagy1662 Sorry to hear that. Yeah, normal relationship break up su'ks, but relationship with a narc makes us empty, numb. Simply they take away everything that they don't have. They are empty, so they make us empty. I'm trying to heal.
If they start abusing the kids because you won’t react, start recording! You will need proof because the kids will probably back the narcissist.
THANK YOU!! After researching strategies, I even used Deepseek, I’ve implemented some of these very same ones and found that they work. Actually understanding what I’m up against has helped me tremendously. For the most part when encountering an argument brewing I remind myself to stay calm & grounded. Be the adult in the room.
One area in which I need to work on is being quiet and stop rendering solutions to her problems or situations. No matter how well meaning or correct it usually turns out bad for me. In stopping or reducing this I will not only be able to de-escalate a situation
but avoid it altogether.
Again THANK YOU!
Thank you Lise Leblanc.
I wish this video had been available when I was still in the relationship with her. But it’s day 38 of no contact, and that’s even better. 🎉
Same, wish I'd known about all of this before... I'm on day 36! Good luck dude
Gray rock, Brown rock, granite rock - all could work if applied properly.
Thanks for Video 👍🏻
Yes, yes, and yes! All true.
Ive been needing this one
Thank you, Lise 🙏
Thanks for your advices
So difficult when it's a parent
my mom is the covert narc and my dad is dismissive avoidant codependent and defends her behavior when I try to talk to him about it, whether how it affects me or affects him
she and I have learned to conflict when he's not around, but, last I did have conflict with her she was so horrible I went into a rage of spewing truths about her behavior to her and letting her know what I think about it all and then went grey rock and she now avoids me and hasn't violated boundaries as before
told her she's a selfish asshole who only pretends to care, a horrible mother who resents my existence, but pretends otherwise
shut her right up
Current generation of adult children are going no contact with there parents. I'm one of them
help from AI !!! oh my !!! i’m 71 years old and never thought it would come to this ! using your phone to help you figure out what to say 😲. be careful with that one kids 👦🏻
Brother, I’m 72 and have met yet another of life’s challenges in dealing with this covert narcissist situation. Use whatever tool you need that will help you survive & prevail.
@ your right … but that artificial intelligence kind of scares me
These are all great tools for dealing with a covert narcissist, a psychopath or sociopath. I wish I was better prepared prior to having had dealings with those types
To me awareness is everything and we might not do it perfectly but we will do it better than before we had the awareness..
I need to fuel the fire because I have an addiction to my trauma bond and that’s my validation. Without this I have no identity.🤣
So, you’re the reason Lise has to keep doing these videos forever… 😅
I wish I knew then what I know, i could have saved myself from a lot of the mental abuse I endured now but I'm glad got out after 4 years what's the name of the AI app.?
Ignore them. Laugh at them. Dont feed into it
20 hours ago! ☺️my guess, stand strong, stay calm, don't feed into it, and own your actions/attitudes/habits/outlook."
hmmm, have tried all sorts of things
last was go into a raging fury of spewing truth about their suckery
then went silent treatment/grey rock (which I'd done before but was ineffective)
now that she knows what I think about her, she's kind of shut up and avoids the conflicts she used to push
it's my mom
"The raging Fury on spewing truth about their suckery." That quote is GOLDEN. Love it ❤
Skinnymoose here’s another to watch
Grey-rocking works best for me. Shaking my head only signals to her that I’m not really listening and I’ve already made up my mind or thinking about how I’m going to respond. If it’s something that escalates then I try to mentally step back and think of her as an 8 year old version of the woman I know. I have to be the adult in the conversation and remain calm. If there is gaslighting going on, I’ll come out point blank and say -Stop gaslighting me. I’ll explain how she is gaslighting. She usually doesn’t have a response. She’s still mad. But it’s not my fault.
@@dargan1956 this is a great strategy, wish I’d thought to mention it (think of her as an 8 year old and remind yourself to be the adult).
@@LiseLeblancI take on (at least internally to avoid escalation ) the mindset of being the adult in the room, not in a confrontational or condescending manner but calm. Not only keeps the peace but my sanity.
:No contact is best for a man , narc rage is the worst! and a man cannot defend , or even deflect a strike or he will go to jail. so your stuck with a toddler acting out with NO consequence
I felt that way as a woman… I cant win
@@mst8521 most of the time they are very attractive people, which made it hard for me to break away. but now im free and have my integrity, and pride , whenever i feel like reaching out, or responding when she hovers i have dozens of mean hurtful text mssgs i can read and remind me not to
Seattle Washington anybody know of a therapist can treat people who are recipients of narcissistic abuse?
Waaaaaaaaaaw with Ai
They are brutal but i look at him like an outsider. I dont take it personally i STAY away!!! Far away
was on the verge of leaving my CN but they promised they see how its been and that they would work on being better. They are doing and saying all the "right" things. Is it possible for them to fake remorse and taking responsibility to lure me back in? This stuff is confusing
Yes it's possible.
Yes this is a very common thing for narcs to fake empathy and promise to change until your sucked back in with hope and love then repeat the cycle. Very very common.
@@ruckerbrady8342 well just last night I was told that they had been doing a lot of thinking and it turns out, I was actually the problem...
Uhg....Im guilty of long-ass messages explaining my point of view. Im guilty of raging out when she triggers me...Ive tried different methods but I couldnt hold to my own rules after the gas lighting, blame shifting, and guilt trips.
Is this narcissistic personality a conscious or subconscious behavior?
They are fully aware of their behaviour and decisions.
Liz when I held her accountable for disgusting behaviour on messages she dosnt block me . Why ? I caught not only lying but cheating etc . Why does she hold on even though I blocked her . I have asked her to explain but never does
Leave them alone ! They are not good for anything
I just dont get it
When you're talking about a covert narcissist what you really talking about is someone with BPD right? Because there's way more people with BPD than covert narcissism, right?
Why respond at all? Block
thanks im tires sick the noise liers sabotage holidays Portugal hotel shame tired thanks
Scammer
Man I don’t even know anymore. I wish I could talk to someone that actually knows about this subject matter. I’m so confused and lost
This advice doesn’t necessarily apply or benefit someone who has been deemed as the scapegoat within multiple generations of covertly narcissistic family of origin dynamics 💔🧘♀️❤️🩹❤️🔥💛 it’s a whole different subcategory of trauma recovery processes 😑😌👌💓
*puzzled look* "Interesting."