Fake Facts that Everyone Thinks Are True Part III
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
- Get Surfshark VPN at Surfshark.deal... and enter promo code BLAZE for 83% off and 3 extra months for free!
BECOME A LEGEND (with ease) by joining my Legendary Legends Newsletter: t.co/jedug2vS4...
This video is #sponsored by Surfshark.
Simon's Social Media:
Twitter: / simonwhistler
Instagram: / simonwhistler
Simon's Other Channels:
TodayIFoundOut: / todayifoundout
TopTenz: / toptenznet
Biographics: / @biographics
Visual Politik: / @visualpolitiken
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
Geographics: / @geographicstravel
Get Surfshark VPN at Surfshark.deals/blaze and enter promo code BLAZE for 83% off and 3 extra months for free!
#hackingthemainframe
I left Fine Young Cannibals to watch this.
You have to _want & request_ last rights, to be given to you. God don't want you, if you don't believe.
Dontch all know the strict & moronic rules for these things! 😂😂😂
Apparently mother Teresa's birth name is Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu. Here was me thinking that her first name was Teresa:-)
83% pure Colombian surf shark.😯😤
Danny and Simon need to cover the topics they truly want to: Cocaine and Communism.
Talking about communism while doing cocaine? Or communist on cocaine...
@@_Rated_R yes
Simon's saving that for his next channel.
The Business of Big Cocaine would be a perfect and on brand Business Blaze topic
cocaine and communism sounds great I'd love that video and I'd force every person I came in contact with to watch it
The reason why Dr Carrot has glasses is because he isn't a cannibal, man.
😂😂🥕😂😂
Makes sense.
Simon every episode: “I should read the script”
Also Simon: doesn’t read the script
Danny: Surprised Pikachu face
Its basically just a channel meme at this point ;)
Allegedly
@@brainblaze6526 the whole channel is just one big meme with a bunch of smaller memes in it
I couldn’t even imagine a business blaze episode of he did read the script
Covid has me legit depressed af. You're one of the only people who makes me smile lately. Sometimes even a laugh. Thank you Simon.
Thank you for watching :).
When I heard the way Simon pronounced "chameleon" I wondered why he was talking about Pokemon.
It took me a couple of seconds to realise what he was saying and I had to go back to make sure... WTF pronounciation is that! And then I watched to the end 😂
@@alexwilliams9016ok I was so confused. Thank you for letting me know there’s some sort of explanation coming up.
This is what I was thinking hahaha
Omg same
But Simon! Not reading the script is part of your brand!
Also, there's definitely comedy value in you stating something, then reading it immediately after in Danny's script.
Simon’s reactions to the script are the big reason why most people love this channel
@@canadiandee6342 yes but like i also feel like this channel is the UA-cam equivalent of finding out your kind of cool English teacher has a band, in high school.
@@canadiandee6342 here here, I love his reactions to say something then to just read EXACTLY what he just said, lol
I guess it's a prime example of the theory, that you often see/read things on the border of your field of vision but you're not even concioulsy aware of it (or some kind of micro eye movements to look around). He doesn't even notice that he skips through the following paragraph of the script and actually does read ahead
100% yes
“What do you do for a living?”
“I shove lemmings off cliffs.”
The past sometimes has some of the “best” jobs ever created.
Skunk Ape Legit lol
Skunk Ape
I suspect that’s a job in high demand with limited slots.
That is to funny, Ooh...I haven't stopped laughing.
Needs a Merch shirt that says "I should have read this first"
Aw man, imagine what non-legend people would think reading this on a shirt in public. I'd want the shirt just for those reactions.
Disney: lays off 30,000 employees.
Lemmings: and there was much celebration
Yeah but a lot of those employees were lemmings and golden retrievers so...
“The infidel next door” honestly made me laugh out loud.
I made that into my ring tone.
I was fairly certain it said "incelsimon" on the shirt until you opened up the jacket.
I was betting on incelsim.
I was so sure it said “incelsimp” and was confused as to why he’d be peddling that merch
Should say "IncelSemen matters."
🤣
miles lawrence Except it literally doesn’t.
Simon's jacket conceals just enough of #cancelsimon that I spent the whole time trying to convince myself he hadn't switched to a shirt that reads incelsimp
I also saw "incel simp"
I thought it said incel too
Cannot unsee!!
11:56
Well, obviously Mr. Carrot wouldn't eat carrots himself.
That'd be cannibalism.
😳🧐good point
How could you not trust a carrot with glasses?
@@skyden24195 I don't trust the little buggers anywhere.
@@deltavee2 lol. I suppose.
the glasses actually make his vision worse, if he didn't wear them he could see through your clothes😳
I heard somewhere that the "ninja outfit" was originally an outfit worn by stage hands in Kabuki Theater. The black all covering outfit was supposed to help them hide in the dark, and they'd skulk around the stage while the show is in progress to move props being ignored by the play characters because they aren't actually part of the show. There arose this trope where one of the stage hands would turn out to be an assassin and try to kill one of the characters, so this is where they became associated with ninjas.
If you watch any other of Simon's channels you might come to think he has his shit together, but we, the Blaze Brigade, know Simon's real self!
Finally, we're blazing again!!!
Time to milk us some content!
Amen!
I started shaking with withdrawal
BACK WITH THE BLAZE.
"91% of statistics are made up on the spot"
Simon
How did you miss the irony
Must be all the blazing
He didn’t.
It's an old Statistics joke. We used to say that all the time in college. Yes, I am unfortunately a statistician.
@@mjhopkins76 I'm not a statistician, but I did take statistics as my math requirement in college and it has stuck with me. While the "99%" amount is a long running joke, the sad truth is that a large number of widely accepted statistics are wrong/bad before they begin, because they weren't taken with a truly random sample. Even when they are, the result is also usually based on the "average," when it was a massive sample size with large outliers that aren't accounted for when averaging. It was a very eye opening class...and added to my jaded disappointment in the world lol
@@mjhopkins76 My stats grad student teacher used to wear a t-shirt from time to time that said "There are lies, there are damn lies, and then there's statistics."
Simon try’s to blame the noise of Danny beating on the basement door on the people next door, your not fooling us Simon.
I don't know where he got all the drilling tools from. I guess he can get Amazon delivery still.
Business Blaze LMFAO!
Could Sam be banging on the ceiling since he's chained to a rafter in the attic?
@@brainblaze6526 that's why you need to use parental controls on his internet access.
Simon: "I'm glad there's only a pandemic and no big wars"
This did not age well 🤣🤣🤣
Yes I was thinking exactly that.
Yip. Came here to say the same.
Fake fact: Simon & Danny are seperate people. Danny is simply a manifestation of Simon’s twisted mind. Have you ever seen them together in a video? Hmm...
Fake fact: Batman and I are separate people. Have you ever seen us together?
Another fake fact: I am not the Joker. Ever seen all 3 of us in one room?
OMG suddenly it all makes sense...
Simon is The Narrator
@@LemonyFresh2000 I'll talk to you about this later, Mr. Todd.
The first rule of fact club is...
The second rule of fact club is...
Simon hears the "neighbor's" sounds, when it's actually Danny digging to freedom.
Or somehow Danny asked the infidels for help
Seems like ages since the last blaze. I thought Danny might have finally escaped
Yeah, I always thought that these clips from North Korea where they talked about how much they missed their leader when Kim went to a summit were fake.
Now I understand!
Danny knows where his bread is buttered.
Maybe he escaped but was recaptured and convinced to stay with extra doses of cocaine.
I wish...all I've got down here are 200 Barbie & Ken stickers
@@94felitf He was given his own box of cereal
That bit with the letters ADHD bouncing across the screen at the beginning of one of Simon's tangents made me laugh hard enough I had to smash the spacebar to pause the video. (I say this as someone who has been treated for ADHD for about 35 years.)
It is great how something so simple can be so funny.
As I skipped through the surf shark ad, I know I know, the only word I heard was “buttplugs”
Me: ‘well, that was unexpected’
I remember being taught about the taste map in school and the teacher tried an experiment to test it. He got three student volunteers and promised that they wouldn't be able to taste anything. He then put a little bit of coffee crystals on the tip of their tongues. They all found it so bitter that they had to spit it out and were allowed to leave the class to get a drink of water. Our teacher seemed surprised but when they returned asked them what it was. None of the students knew so he declared victory.
This was elementary school in the US during the 70s! Almost all students wouldn't have known what coffee tasted like because you didn't drink coffee that young.
I still don't understand how "you won't be able to taste it" was considered equivalent to "you can't identify it".
Much harder to get volunteers after that.
the last time I was this early, this channel was still about business.
That is another fake fact. Business blaze have never been about business, only bout da blaze
Disappointment is rife...
I remember those days.
@@brainblaze6526 "It's all bout da blaze, bout da blaze"
18:46 Simon, about his desk "It's just black and plastic". Sam ..."Buttplug" HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Guy named Bottom etc., well there *was* a lot of arsing about in this one....
Maybe you should start the conspiracy theory that Danny isn't locked in your basement, you know, just to cover your tracks.
Don't forget, poor Sam too. 🤗
Clearly false; I think the truth here is self-evident; Simon is the one locked in the basement where he is forced to blaze for his food.
Now, maybe Danny is the mastermind here. Holding Simon's passport or dog hostage. After all, it's Simon who has his speech controlled. Maybe Danny owns all the channels and makes Simon work crazy hours in a cold office without a chair. And Simon cannot do anything.
Simon! If Danny is holding you hostage--slap the script twice!
Blazeception reaching new levels.
Nope, I'm still here, allegedly
"Stop crying Danny! Getting paid in stickers counts!" LOL I didn't know you were my boss too. 😜
I love how chaotic this. I relate so hard to the wiggly ADHD graphic.
"i wish I had an Enron desk, mines just black and plastic" 😂 Sam, nice editing
Yesss!!! Last time I was this early, ETA was still around
Skunk Ape
Or how {redacted} is spread by {redacted}
I miss ETA
@@SRW_ *allegedly
Angry Mario just remember his message #Communism #COVIDisFake #Evil5G
ETA where have you been? Packed like sardines in a tin.
The #1 doctor in the US for my rare genetic disorder is named DR. TINKLE 😋... we tease him thats its a good thing he chose to be a geneticist and not a urologist 😂
I hope his first name begins with a P.
Fun things in theater that are not in movies:
-different ad libs each time
-the ability to choose which part of the action you focus on (a movie will always have the same camera angle, but you can choose to watch the main characters or the background interactions in theater)
Movies aren’t “better theater”, they’re just a different medium with different pluses and minuses.
I observed something crazy the other day and thought “Absolute Legend!”
This is your fault Simon. 😂
I wish I could have the wiggly “ADHD” thing on a push button in my life
S eje idt uhus
Do it
E
@@ms.griz2020 yeah, same here
Same.
Why im glad you can´t get kicked for having ADHD in Sweden, but bet my coworkers get pirtty irritated on me often.
If you have ADHD you can pick out your own kind. 🤣
As a Californian, i am more than qualified to blaze this early
👌🏾 Oof
That's the only reason I miss California
@@dorrisopen23 that's why i want the boy with the blaze merch. Not because I run a channel lol.
Nice double entendre
@Davon Garcia Hahah amazing. I didn't even know that was a thing.
I haven't been trying hard enough.
Will try harder.
Allegedly.
At first when he said “Cham-e-lien”, I thought he was genuinely wrong. Then I remembered this is Business Blaze and the trolling here is off the charts.
I have noticed a steep decline of his mispronunciation on the other channels since blaze started!
It was also about the same time I pointed out I thought he was mispronouncing words on purpose.
lol that was weird lol
@@Jezus42 Yeah, that has nothing to do with it. Seriously.
@@brainblaze6526 I figured as much but I can maintain my personal fantasies!
The floating ADHD really hits hard. Oof.
I like how you’ve categorized all your multiple personalities into separate UA-cam channels.
This video makes me think that Simon's Coke dealer stopped cutting the product with adderal.... so much Look! Squirrel
I used some of that sponsor money to buy better drugs.
@@brainblaze6526 Triple shot espresso, Weed and Luksosowa vodka for the win!
Seriously, try it
@@brainblaze6526 the fact you can say shit like this and still get sponsorships restores my faith in humanity.
Maybe too much sugar and caffeine levels?
Also know as "Facts that aren't actual Facts" "Facts, Allegedly" and "Ancient Aliens"
Ancient Aliens...smh
“I want to go ostrich hunting.” -Simon 2020
Standing by it.
How about emus?
Emu's run really really fast...like cheetah fast!
Then come and fight the great emu war, in Australia
The how I met your mother reference killed me. I thought I was having a stroke when you said "schamaleon" :D
"Nobody tosses a dwarf" well actually thats how the actor Beetlejuice's career got started . . . so sadly yes people do toss dwarves.
I mean Leo DiCaprio did so... must be ok!
Took so long, thought Danny finally got out of the basement.. poor guy, apparently not .
Allegedly.
6 long days!!!! That's way too long to not blaze
@Skunk Ape you make a good point.. we don't have "free" him per se.....
Just say we did ..
Dr. Carrot: *wears glasses*
Palpatine: *Ironic*
He could save other from death but not himself!
Who is Palpatine?
@@brainblaze6526 If they told you, you would smash the dislike button!:-)💜 STAR WARS
Simon: I like modern movies. It's what theatre evolved into.
Also Simon: I haven't seen any movies.
Insta blazing! Simon, check out the story of John McAfee, I think it's gonna be an great blaze. If you think DeLorean story is good this is so much better.
Check out John McAfee's video on how to remove McAfee Antivirus.
OtakuUnitedStudio
Step one; pour rubbing alcohol on computer
Step two; light computer on fire
Step three; purchase new computer
Step four; profit
Yes
Allegedly
Agree McAfee… yeah. Holy. Crap.
Simon: don't get me started on musicals
Simon's daughter 6 years from now: daddy Little Mermaid. Little Mermaid. Little Mermaid
Simon: *silently screams screw you Disney!
haha the first thing i thought of when you said "cham-uh-lee-ons" was "its ok buddy, we all have gaps." love the HIMYM reference :)
Mother Theresa: an old nun acting like an old school nun.
Quick Fact: When Simon said "paid in stickers" he actually meant "paid in cocaine"
Johnny Chimpo stickers... 😁
Johnny Chimpo stickers... 😁
Unfortunately not...
I'm guessing gets paid in those Hare Krishna Smile stickers .
Aren't stickers LSD?
Once while vacationing in Scotland, I went to the movie theater to see Braveheart. I got mooned by the men on the screen and mooned by the men in the audience.... Such fun!
This is the only channel for which I don’t regularly skip the add read.
Simon: Can't outrun a bullet though can it
Australians: Don't remind us
Simon: Wasn't it that one that was really racist?
Me, thinking about Dumbo: *One*?
True.
Dumbo made drinking look fun to me.. when I was 4. Good job Walt
The Three Caballeros surprisingly wasn't too bad, even having a song sung partway in Spanish. Disney is surprisingly inconsistent
Business Blaze sooo, most racist Disney movies when?
@@brainblaze6526 Idea: Racist/sexist/unacceptable by todays standards children's educational and entertainment cartoons. Merica!
#CancelSimon, but not before you purch the merch & smash that dislike button.
I see Elliot is making use of that tag
Guess by now 302 obidiant legends obbayed their master and smashed the dislike button
45 percent of the internet is Simon's content. Sounds a little low.
Lol
I'm working on increasing it.
@@brainblaze6526 lol, so pornhub's going to have competition? )))
Ninjas: the way I heard it - the black outfits were actually the uniform of the stagehands in Kabuki. Their job was to move the sets around. The audience knew that anyone dressed like this is to be ignored. Later on in the history of Kabuki, in order to shock an audience, a stagehand might assassinate a real character in the play. Since then, the uniforms were associated with invisible assassination, and thus became the ninja "outfit".
"...91% of all statistics are made up on the spot to fit a narrative"
I feel like a snake eating its own tail.
Here is my recommendation for the conspiracy theory:
Simon is really a robot. He has to many channels for one host to run, and Danny is a subroutine within the AI known as Simon.
Maybe Simon is actually the one chained to the radioator in Dannys basement and he makes Simon read scripts all day
@@GerManBearPig I don't see a window in the background... for all we know this is 100 % true!
Too many channels for one host to run.... if that host isn't locked in a basement and supplied with a constant stream of scripts, coffee, and cocaine.
No he's obviously a wild animal in a human costume (and an unconvincing one at that...). Why else would he be so vehement in denying that they have any value? :o
This isn't a conspiracy.
brother thought your shirt said "incel simp", not 'cancel simon'. so, trademarked, 20%.
Your brother might be dyslexic
@@rainbowbutterflyfan With the blazer covering parts of the print ,only "ncelsim" is visible. Why not incel simp? I've seen weirder t-shirts...
@@easternlights3155 I didn’t say it couldn’t be incel simp. I just said their brother may be dyslexic.
I made the comment four weeks ago so I’m not sure what I originally meant by it, but I do know I said it because I’m dyslexic myself. Maybe I was making a joke about also reading it that way, I can’t remember haha
lol i can see that
Simon: “if you’re watching this you use the internet”
Me: bold of you to assume I use the internet
True, sorry, I make assumptions sometimes. It's not a good look.
Right as Simon said "I just want to comment real quick", a youtube add popped up with a guy snoring. *immediate chef kiss*
This talk about world peace thing kinda didn’t age well… Did Simon forget to knock on wood?? Time to eat my carrots in prep for WW3
Simon: "I don't know what Mother _Teresa's_ first name is."
Terry to her friends
It's Anjeze. Or Mary. It's not Teresa. She was born Anjeze Gonxhe Bojaxhiu. When she became a nun she took a new name - it's called a monastic name, it's normal practice - which was Mary Teresa.
@@Werrf1 That's correct, but it ruins the joke a teensy tiny bit.
I would hope that William Butt has followed that up by naming his son Richard.
Pronounciation: Coke-fa-say
Hahha, I think my own comment got filtered on my channel. My joke makes no sense now. Wtf youtube.
Dick Butkus doesn't enjoy your joke.
With parents calling their son "Willy Butt" i cant help but wonder:
Does he have a brother named Richard?
Probably had a sister named Headey
Maybe another sister called fanny 🤣😂
Simon out here playing both the people who love him and hate him xD
Always.
"At least it's not the 1940s, we'd be going to war."
Putin: "Hold my Smirnoff..."
Does anybody else actually diagnosed with ADHD and can relate to simons need for coffee and non sequiturs while reading?
I have a friend who isn't ADHD (I am) and she can't watch him, she said he talks too fast... I can keep up, so does that mean I'm smarter? 🤔
Yes
My staff have endless fun trying to track my mental leaps; yesterday we somehow got from "a puppy named susan" to "brackish water salinity" in topics. Somehow I wasn't diagnosed with adhd until adulthood ....
@@chrisjanuarywilliamson2010 you level up when you watch at x2 speed
@@sophroniel woman are generaly diagnosed less often. (mostly couse boys are /over/ diagnosed but still)
That red ceramic cup is legend.
Agree
"Fake conspiracy theory"
Does that mean it is real and not a conspiracy?
Operation mindfuck
yea, no conspiracy ever was real, people never actually conspire to do anything
_But where is the irony?_
*It's over there, in a box.*
Neither the word conspiracy nor theory indicates that it is wrong. Theory would imply that it hasn't been proven, not that it's false.
And yes, I am indeed a hoot at parties, or whatever those darn kids are calling it these days.
@@viktorkukuruzovic5332 actually, there are some rare cases of conspiracy theories that ended up being true on some level, such as MK-ULTRA. It's just most of them are stupid so it hides the ones that may actually have some truth behind it
“The infidels are making noise next door again” omg that was hilarious 😂😂😂
I'm loving my new 'Ask me about my pyramid scheme' tee-shirt!!
Odd... normally I’m late **insert clever pregnancy joke here**
@Skunk Ape OOOF :)
Normally late? How many kids have you had to be "normally" late lol.
Yikes
BA DA BUM BUM TSHSHSHHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHHSHSHS
Perhaps if we cancel Simon, mighty ETA will return
I was so distracted by my ADHD that I missed the wiggly ADHD graphic everyone is talking about
"'(...)'everything's okay and the eggs haven't started fighting amongst themselves.' Alright."
...WHAT? 🤣
Movement to get “I am a super spy ninja” on a t-shirt.
If you've ever seen a ninja, they were a terrible ninja.
Actually that would have been the distraction
Am I the only one that giggles every time the ADHD bounces across the screen
Nope I gather a few lol
cocaine use can simulate ADHD
Timothy Neiswander with that mustache it must be great! lol
If Simon was to get canceled, over half of UA-cam channels would be cease to exist. This man is EVERYWHERE!
I wouldn’t be on UA-cam hardly at all because when I am on UA-cam A lot of what I watch is his videos.
I need to see a gun carrying chameleon now. I can picture one holding the gun sideways wearing deal with glasses while sporting some gold chains and a shirt that says f the police.
Yep, I need that in my life
SMASHED DISLIKE!!!
Memo: Dr. Boring would like to see you now.
Simon, if you think Willie Butt is bad. I met someone named Dick Sweat
I knew a dude in high school named Harold Richard Johnson.
Met someone called Jacca Cock
These are all incredible.
I know a bloke called "Wayne Kinnard"
Ummm ...Lee Bum Suk.......I couldn't make it up.
I laughed out loud so many times during this one, allegendly
Ah yes, everybody's favorite friend, Willie Butt.
Oh my gosh I’m dying at the Simon/Danny old school…”bc I pay him…stop crying Danny stickers count”…🤣🤣🤣 comedy gold. #legend
Also Canadians told their soldiers carrots improved eyesight so convince them to keep eating vegetables while at war
I f*cking LOVE Sam and his brilliant editing skills/butt plug jokes 🤣
Penn and Teller's "Bullshit" covered Mother Theresa ages ago. Almost verbatim.
Hitchens did it better, but the BS episode is pretty good. Mother Theresa was one of the worst human beings ever to live.
@@johngaltline9933 agreed
@@johngaltline9933 BS actually interviewed Hitchens so they were only summarize Hitchens' book.
#canceldanny ???
Me watching today I found out: :)
New business blaze video: Yay! Fun Simon
I've finished the new TIFO and top tenz was in the middle of Megaprojects when I got the notification. Cu later Megaprojects I need to blaze ❤️❤️
I was raised in Tx, USA. My grandmother used to say, "You don't see Bugs Bunny wearing glasses do you?" . . .and I went to school with a person named Bunny Easter. To make it worse, our names were always listed with last name first, making her Easter, Bunny.
It's not "bau" river, it's "boe" river. Source: Calgarian
Accents are confusing to you eh? Source: Edmontonian
Might be easier to explain as it's Bow as in "Bow and Arrow" not Bow as in "I bow to you"
@@gargwinvinesnake6961 Accents lead to mispronunciations.
I was going to smash dislike for his pronunciation of bow and chameleon but he got me back by shit talking mother Teresea.
Sam must have gotten a raise ,the memes are getting better ... Nahhh probably threatened to be locked up with the other cellar dweller
I got this special electrocution thing. Very handy.
"Cellar dweller" is a fun phrase to say lol.
TIFO: "This is good."
BB: "But I *like* this."
I'm so happy to able to Blaze today. #FreeDanny
Business Blaze. Aka. Whaterver Simon's up to today. 😂👌
I think my preschool only taught the taste map as an excuse to make us sit still and quiet as we tried to glue coffee and salt to paper while eating as many stale gummi bears as we could. I remember watching a kid eat a gummi bear off one displayed in the hallway.