Fake Facts Everyone Thinks Are True Part IV
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- Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
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Simon's Social Media:
Twitter: / simonwhistler
Instagram: / simonwhistler
Simon's Other Channels:
TodayIFoundOut: / todayifoundout
TopTenz: / toptenznet
Biographics: / @biographics
Visual Politik: / @visualpolitiken
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
Geographics: / @geographicstravel
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Congrats on the sponsorship, hope they don't regret it!
Next you'll tell us, "There's _nothing_ wrong with crewing food, with one's mouth open."
You're _gonna_ get put on some sort of 'Mother's of the world, hit list' Simon. You too Danny, you wrote that knuckle cracking bit! All these years of _trying_ to get our children to stop annoying things. Smh. 😂😂😂
Okay Daddy 😝🥺🤪💦
Hey Simon, the word for "not really an Atheist" is Agnostic.
Let me get this straight, is Squarespace actually a sponsor, or is it one of the fake facts? :-p
Fake fact: Business Blaze is about business.
Sometimes. Allegedly.
It is a business
Business Blaze has only ever about keeping Simon, the boy with the blaze, busy.
@@talideon So, more of a Blaze Business, than Business Blaze?
It's a fake fact, but not one anybody thinks is true hahah.
Simon: "This is what my life has become, Cocaine Boy cracks knuckles."
Squared Space: "WTF? THIS IS WHAT WE SPONSORED?!?"
BAHAHAHHAA, THE TRUUUTH
*_Yeeeeeah, boi_*
Crack boy cokes knuckles
@@terryenby2304 I’m dead lmao
When he said that, I thought "I can't wait for his kid(s) to grow up and see all this" 😂 my first is on the way so I've been thinking about stuff like that lol
Are we still Simon's favorite channel? He has so many now....
I heard he made a new channel called watching anime were he tells business story's and has nothing to do with anime
I feel like your dog when you bring home your new puppy...
Unwanted and unloved
We still are.. ALLEGEDLY
We will ALWAYS BE THE FAVORITE CHILD
ALLEGEDLY
I have an idea for a script: How disgruntled employees have messed with the companies they work (or used to work) for.
Sadly those are done already....on reddit,and can be found here on youtube,badly autonarrated by robotic A.I.
@@chrisknee8736 yes, but Simon is not robotic, so I still think it would be fun.
I would pay to watch that
I love it.
@@AverageJillM Yeah, I mean, I don't think I'm that great. But I can probably compete with a robot voice reading a Reddit post.
"Business Blaze" is anti-click-bait. I got here despite the business, not because of it. And it's awesome.
agreed, same here. Although if it was just named "The Blaze", I would watch just the same, and then it wouldn't have to be business related!
I just do the opposite of what I watch on here, and pretend that was the business advice...
@@cadeanderson422 he can't rename it to The Blaze because there is a conservative news channel that uses that name
@@nerdgirl7363 Simon runs that, too.
Allegedly!!
Don't forget to downvote
Simon: “I don’t know how to read!”
Simon: *Proceeds to read*
Now I’m wondering if those scripts are just blank
Yeah it’s just placeholder text: Iorem ipsum dolor
Lmao, I flashed to all Trumps stacks of blank paper that was his tax returns....
I thought the same, then realized that that would actually make all of his channels far more impressive, if ya think about it
Allegedly
Cocaine is a helluva drug
Poll:
Is Danny:
A) A real person
b) A real person in Simon's basement
c) an AI script writing program
d) Simon
e) ETA
Actially it is simon who is in the basement but do not tell him.
Danny likes to have his captives belive they are in charge
B
@@kennetknudsen7042 lmao that’s funny
My theory is that Simon is the one trapped in the basement since all his videos are filmed in one location. Danny and Sam are just figments of his imagination to help him cope. Simons kidnapper just uses him to pump out youtube videos and keeps him motivated/subservient by keeping him highly addicted to the cocaine.
The Earth is an oblate spheroid. The mountains and trenches are so small compared to the rest of the Earth that is is far smoother than the best billiard ball in comparison.
The being said I am now accepting memberships for the Fat Earth Society. :)
Roundness and sphericalness, yes, but not smoothness. The rough surface of the earth, if shrunk to 2.25in in diameter, would be equivalent to 320 grit sandpaper. That is much rougher than a billiard ball.
ourplnt.com/earth-smooth-billiard-ball/#axzz6diCxxG1Y
Pedantic man away (ZOOMS OFF).
@@davidklein1245 it's extremely smooth. To the max. ua-cam.com/video/C69xx2bM8IA/v-deo.html
By far a couple of amusing Smarties today.
@@davidklein1245 The height of Everest above the surrounding terrain is much smaller than 8.85 km (3.6 km).
@@davidklein1245 Thank you for the link! Today I learned... :)
I love seeing Simon so happy that someone will sponsor this channel .. it's definitely deserved. Square space is a legend.
Danny cracking his knuckles and Sam adding Hobbit/Lord of the Rings memes are all part Iof their plant to wear Simon down so he'll free them from the basement.
Still need a video on Danny’s life & history, he’s like the writing version of Bond
Yeah Ian Fleming did have an interesting life.
...I'm pretty sure that was Fleming.
Maybe his _real_ last name IS Bond.....
Danny Bond! 💋
I don't think it would compare well with Ian Fleming's life, unless Ian Fleming spent a lot of his time sitting in his underpants and watching reruns of 'Fraggle Rock'.
@@DannySalter Ian Fleming only wishes he had Fraggle Rock.
“Whenever I imagine Vikings, I imagine Klingons”
Hard to see how he’s wrong lol
Vikings may well have contributed some inspiration for Klingons but I have it on decently good authority that dark Russians were an inspirational influence. Or that might just be a running joke in the family of the relevant Trek screenwriter, I'm not totally sure which, the whole family is kind of like that lol
Hmm... Vikings... with Bat’leths...
Lol same here
@@darkwinter6028 ...rowing their D7s through the oceans of space...
OH MY GAWD MY LIFE IS COMPLETE! I have now heard the Whistler whistle...
I am Scandinavian and hagar is one of my favorit comics of all time, the humor is very uniqe since its like a slice of life with vikings and thier family. The strips goes around pretty much every aspect of viking life. Hagar is truely amazing😊
"Crazy Vikings."
-- (mis)quote of the "Spam" skit
22:49 Forget about diamond engagement rings, nothing says love like necrophilia.
One last f$^k for old times sake.
Mr.J K you can get in a couple more fucks during those six hours. Guess it depends on how into it you are though.
@@gustavselin1197 Giggity giggity alright
Simon in other channels: an education bringing cool teacher.
Simon in Business Blaze: Cocaine jokes, madness and memes
I mean, most teachers are exactly like this 🤣
So...like a cool teacher?
@@Yesthatsmyfirstname we used to have a science teacher that was like this always off on a tangent might not have learnt much off the lesson plans but the classes were so much more interesting
Fake Fact: Simon is joking when he says Danny and Sam are in the basement.
"Allegedly"
@Peter B Hummm doesn't let people in the basement. Check the deep freezer with the paddle lock on it. :-)
@Peter B I think that's why it's a fake fact. You know they're just cowering in the corner while ETA yells conspiracy theories at them in Dutch.
To follow up on that: Simon bought a government grade drone to make sure they don't escape from the basement.
ALLEGEDLY.
He definitely isn't
I know where the horned helmet thing came from! Early historians actually did get the idea from Viking relics.
They thought Vikings wore horned helmets because they kept digging up these Viking statuettes with "horns" coming from their helms. But more complete and undamaged finds would eventually turn up versions with two ravens at the end of the arcs coming up from the helmet.
The statues were religious icons of Odin with hugin and mugin flying up and away. Break off the little ravens and you get a "horned helm" though. Reasonable mistake, but Wagner made dang sure it would stick around long after we knew better.
I think Sam got into the alleged coke stash. The memes are abundant and on point.
Today I found out Simon has named his basement "Devon"
Came here to make that joke, left satisfied it was already done😊
Why would Vikings put horns on their helmets? What's the point? Missed BADAMMMBOOMBOOMTSSS moment
"The books were burned"
Yes, feed the 😈.
I would like to see a mass recycling of something in anger.
So... will "Cocaine Boy Cracks Knuckles" be a new t-shirt? Although using a likeness of Knuckles from Sonic is probably protected by copyright.
But make it toe knuckles, not a hand, with one of those og Batman bubbles that says CRRRAACCKKK above it
I was actually pretty proud of my daughter when she questioned if the earth was a globe. Of course, she was like 10yrs old and just learning to think outside the box. I wanted her to have critical thinking skills and to be somewhat of a skeptic. I thought it very important to encourage her to do research and thinking for herself vs just memorizing and believing everything she's told.
Fake fact: m&ms are banned in Sweden
True fact: They just had to rebrand to uppercase M&Ms
I am still waiting on an apology on behalf of Sweden, Simon
Well m&ms are banned.
They are banned, at least until they get the M matter sorted out. Ergo, Simon owes no apology.
@@mangot589 They aren't banned, though
I, however, HAVE worn hats in my life and thought “this would be better with horns.”
I have an illness that makes every joint in my body pop about 5 times a day. My knees are the worst and they are fully audible from several feet away. It does gross people out, but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't even try to hide it.
Hahaha my knees also crack!
That moment when your biggest channel, the one that introduced me to you, ends up as a meme on your best channel. Perfect work, Sam.
of course simon recommends cracking joints, he is the boy with the blaze 🔥
*Legend*
How about this for a t-shirt: "Came for the business, stayed for the Blaze!"
I like that a lot, even though I never came for actual business 😄.
@@1TrueGem Actually neither did I. I have zero interest in business and only came here when it started because of Simon. So glad I didn't miss out on the best channel on UA-cam.
Exactly. If it was "a real business channel" I wouldn't have liked it. Gotta like Simon though.
The board at Squarespace:
B.M.1: That new Whistler Channel's got nearly a quarter of a million subs.
B.M.2 But aren't they just fans from his other channels.
B.M.1 No. This is some kinky bondage channel there's a radiator and a guy from Devon in a basement.
B.M. 3 So it's a business channel.
B.M.2 Great! They're our target audience.
Got a notification for this video two days after it released and I'd already seen it. Gotta love UA-cam's persistence to try and get me to watch the same video multiple times.
I'm 32, and don't have a driver's liscence. Danny, you are doing all right in life. Simon, Let Danny have 10 minutes out of the basement once in awhile, I think he needs sunlight.
NEVER.
My uncle is nearly 52 and he doesn’t have a drivers license
God Danny’s writing is just so golden and simons reactions are priceless
The main historical use for cow horns in the nordic region was to either contain drink or to drink out of it (it is fairly easy to hollow them out, and then plug them with wax or a disc of wood) - so in essence a viking with horns would be the equal of a dude running around with a beer helmet.
(Funnily enough that seems more apt for Hägar)
So the horned Viking helm was the first drinking hat (> " )> yay mead!
Simon: "I don't like Sports. I don't like violence. I don't like people touching me."
Simon is spirit animal.
Fake fact: Vikings where never traditionally called Vikings. In stead it was something they did "going on a viking" is akin to going on an adventure.
What where they called? I don't know. I just remember this silly fact that I think is true.. maybe? But what they where called? Probably something along the lines of "OMG THEY ARE HERE RUN!"
Vikings didnt wear helmets with horns? The Dragonborn disagrees... Fus Roh Dah!
The last time I was THIS early, Simon was admitting that part one of this was gunna be the first of many lazy lazy ideas (Poor Danny)
I love how he introduced Sam today as a "Professional Memeologist" ( he IS) with Sam's cartoon of an exhausted woman slumped over her station with the dangling mouse - Hysterical! Thanks, all, for yet another wonderful episode.
When this pandemic is over im going to Devon to scream dannys name at the top of my lungs until he shows up. I imagine its not that big as he doesnt drive.
Ok, but I actually live in Cornwall :)
@@DannySalter The closest I can come to that is that I used to have a friend named Danny Cornwall.
Ill hit both to be safe.
@@DannySalter omg, you're real?
@@meryamdjeghri7737 Simon has another page to confuse you.
"That's why I just make fun of you [flat-earthers] for being real dumb"
I'VE GOT IT!! A BB where Simon writes the script, Danny reads it, and Sam adds a crap load of memes per usual.
Throw in a few well placed clips of Daven just shaking his head or resting his forehead on the palm of his hand. It's time for some kind of a crossover anyway.
ua-cam.com/video/k1Hlg0T171g/v-deo.html
I love this no filter Simon so entertaining
nothing brightens up my friday than a pickled egg, a hulk hogan chicken sandwich, and watching our boy with the blaze.
OG Legend
The slow spiral into madness is brilliant. Simon is a great character and I find his narrations informative and oddly comforting.
thanks :)
"Why have horns? What's the POINT" and we didn't get the high hat. Children around the world cry.
Until I heard Simon say that you can't pop your knuckles more than once in 15 minutes, I never thought my ability to do so again after just a few seconds was unusual. It just so happens that I've been in talks with friends who say I might have a connective tissue disorder such as hypermobile EDS, so I paused this video to immediately look it up and there may be a connection. In short, thank you for that real fact, because it might help me get a diagnosis that explains all of my mysterious symptoms, and in turn qualify better care provided by my government's healthcare programs.
Hardened leather is tougher than you’d think.
"I don't even know how to read. Allegedly" --continues looking at script~
Cocaine boy cracks knuckles.... thank you for making me look like a crazy maniac for randomly bursting out in uncontrollable laughter at work since I had my headset in .... you absolute legend .... allegedly
Legend.
So I randomly watched an episode of Business Blaze a few months ago not thinking that this channel would quickly become my favorite channel on UA-cam. I have been spending a lot of time watching all the past episodes and I can’t get enough. If you told me I’d be watching hours upon hours of a channel called “Business Blaze” I wouldn’t believe you. It is so entertaining though!
Hardened leather can actually be quite effective at keeping sharp things out of your soft bits. It would take several very precise slices from an exceptionally sharp weapon to cut through a leather cuirass or helmet. Most of the time battles aren't fought with two guys standing calmly within arms reach patiently sawing through each other's armor. You're right, it wouldn't stop a bloody great blow to the skull from shattering it, but it would keep an arrow out of your brain. Allegedly.
Right, but we're talking about rugby. That helmet ain't doing shit when a 100kg is slamming into my head.
@@brainblaze6526 okay, fair enough.
I can't blow bubbles, snap my fingers or whistle but at least I can drive.
Business blaze and square space!
“Cracks toes”
In this episode: We watch as Simon has an existential crisis.
WELCOME TO THE BLAZE
Isn’t that every episode?
Here’s a real fact: Business Blaze is the best anime of all time
thank you. True.
DUDE I'VE BEEN WATCHING HIS CHANNELS FOR YEARS AND I FINALLY HEARD SIMON WHISTLE!
Uploaded 35 seconds ago
Me: perfect timing for my shower
Everytime
Long shower
Perfect time for going to the bathroom and doing whatever. Allegedly
Yes
Welcome Square Space. This is by far the greatest of Simons channels, so you have chosen wisely. Simon needs us to help him get his Delorean.
I would love a Delorean.
"Cocaine boy cracking knuckles." Welcome to Business Blaze.
Simon: I'm not well read.
Also Simon: reads enough information every year that would add up to dozens and dozens of books.
Also, Simon and Danny and Sam: Publishes many books based on all the scripts.
Re. the Viking horned helmet: All singing Fat Ladies shed a tear....
An advert popping up half way through Simon’s extended rimshot is like one of those ‘unsatisfying stuff’ videos
"In Devon, where you now live." Allegedly!
Nice try Simon we all know Danny still in the basement. #free Danny
Fake news
Maybe Simon has a building in Devon he's keeping Danny in. Keep them separate to keep him stuck down there.
When Allen Rickman shows up and turns my baseball bat into a fish... i might believe
Name of Simon's biography: The Scary Coke Boi that Cracks
*I am the one who cracks!*
_(sandwich)_
"I don't know how to read. Allegedly." -goes back to reading from a script, visibly, on camera-
25:00--the point when Simon, tired of starting new UA-cam channels ad infinitum, decides to start a new religion.
The next logical step.
I work for a web hosting company, Simon you are the customer I look forward to speaking with, 2 minutes to figure out SEO and using the provided tools. ABSOLUTE LEGEND!
Simon - "I'm not as smart as I thought" Regular Business Blaze views - "That's accurate"
3:15 - Chapter 1 - Cracking knuckles
7:55 - Chapter 2 - Viking & horned helmets
13:20 - Mid roll ads
16:10 - Chapter 3 - The earth is round
20:00 - Chapter 4 - Fatwha is a death sentence
24:20 - Chapter 5 - Science vs religion
5:50 Yes Simon, pulling your finger does release gas.
Now Sam, you know you got to provide a link to the sauce of at least a few of those memes. You know which ones. Also, this one was fire.
I've noticed that a lot of people who are either atheist or just non-religious know more about what The Bible says than a good portion of actual believers
Haha, I did go to a religious school. Chapel twice a week. It was a drag.
@@brainblaze6526 Tim Curry was your priest?
@@brainblaze6526 As a child all the children that were trouble makers had to attend Sunday school. I used to laugh at them until I wondered why I, a delicate angel, was stuck with the ruffians
@@danieweir9588 bada BOOM
I'm always impressed with Simon's humility and humbleness. Allegedly.
alegendly
@@brainblaze6526 Oops my most humble apologies. Alegendly
The today i found out flashing on the screen when he cracked his thumbs was gold :')
Memeception
10:52
Simon: I don't want some dude, like, grabbing around my legs and throwing me to the ground. I'm not sure who thinks that's a good time.
Sam:
Me: Really?! You've let us all down, good sir.
Simon: “I can’t read”
Also Simon: immediately starts to read the script
_script's blank._ 📜
Allegedly
This is the 3rd YT channel of yours I've found (I found the others after) & I must say it's my favorite. Thanks to all 3 of you. All the best to you this year.
Fast fact: Simon doesn’t seem to appreciate his American audience but I’m staying a sub to all his channels anyway for now.
How ?
How ?
Simon loves you guys, he just hates you don't use metric🤣
Because he insulted flat Earthers? 🤣
Because he insulted flat Earthers? 🤣
"Come and join us priest"
Athlestan, you missed out
Vikings didn't wear hormed helmets. They wore helmets to protect their horns.
Sam has been killing it lately!
Kudo's on the memes 😉
Simon: Cocaine boy cracks knuckles.
SquareSpace: Umm... about these sponsorships...
On a unrelated note, are you on any UA-cam alternative platforms Simon?
Nope. Just UA-cam. Google are my homie.
@@brainblaze6526 Fair enough.
Having worked for Persians for over 20 years, I was honored with a Fatah and can now deal with them as an equal, and not as the unwashed servant that I was during my service.
It sounds like you have travelled forward in time from the 19th Century. Welcome.
So about Salman Rushdie living life without being attacked....
'Salman Rushdie's life doesn't appear to be in any serious danger' 😂 That aged badly
So if Simon start an OnlyFans, do we get cocaine boi bathwater?
Asking for a friend. Allegendly.
We get the toenails of the basement dwellers grinded to dust with some cocaine, allegedly.
Or Danny writing scripts in diapers
The Ig Nobel Prize isn't just for trivial accomplishments in scientific research. Officially, it's for scientific studies that make you laugh, and then make you think.
You'd be surprised how effective cloth and leathet armour is
"But that obviously cause I'm a very scary and imposing man that people just wouldn't want to mess with" -Simon Whistler 🤦♂️😂😂😂
Here 2022, 24:08 turned out quite differently :/
I just found this "Biochemical changes in the body produce stiffening, the rigor mortis that usually appears within 2 to 6 hours after death. Rigor mortis begins in the muscles of the jaw and neck and proceeds downwards in the body to the trunk and extremities and complete within 6 to 12 hours"
Never been this early before.. allegedly.
Legend
0:30 "I've got to tell you about something incredible. Oh my God, are you ready?"
Me: "This video is sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends?"
"I've been playing it all the time"
Is there a shirt that says “allegedly legendary”? There should be.
Allegendary yes
Dude, say THAT five times fast!
Man, i must say, even though Simon is an excellent host for this channel, Danny is a very talented writer deserving of so much praise and then sam adds as we call it "the raisin in the hot dog" to just make these videos extremly entertaining and captivating
Speaking of which "funny sayings that doesnt make sense in english" video?
The toe cracking reminds of Berlioz doing it from The Aristocats. That would have been a perfect meme.