1.Get a Therapist 2.Start Praying and building a Relationship with God 3.Ditch Toxic Friends and stop being Toxic yourself 4.Set boundaries 5. Love yourself first before loving others 6.Change your mindset 7. Focus on the present She broke it down really well so would recommend anyone reading this to watch the video. Tremendously inspiring
@Mama Queen that’s a pretty deep question I’m not sure if you should take any UA-cam comment as an answer I believe that’s an answer you should find out your self through reading research or getting into discussions with people that you trust and think that they can really help you in finding the right answer, I have an answer but again it’s what I personally believe, so make sure to settle on an answer that you truly believe in and to know why you do. Excuse me poor English I tried my best. Good luck
@@ValerieChigbata I’m not there yet but I’ll give u tips on how I started. First step is therapy, this is a form of anxiety and may need professional help. The next tips are more for enhancing your present life and taking your mind off the future.Try to pick up new hobbies, travel to different places, do things outside normal routine, try to be busy, practice mindfulness. During covid, I picked up different hobbies and honestly, I felt happier and didn’t spend much time obsessing on the future. For traveling, I recommend starting out slow and just going to a different city or a unknown area close to you to explore. For me, I often start to think about the future because I feel stagnant in my present situation and everyday life. I try to do different things outside of my normal routine to keep changing things up and keep that monster away. Not having anything to do allows time for you to think about the future and think yourself into depression or into anxiety, try to do things to keep your mind and body occupied. Lastly mindfulness. I’m not even going to lie to you, I have no idea how to practice mindfulness. I more so focus on my self love, self image, and self esteem. One of the reasons I think ahead a lot is because I want to be “better”. I take note of things that I think would be better in the future and focus on things that I like about present me.
I came to this conclusion during covid actually( quarter life crisis). I realized one of my flaws is I can never enjoy present moments and when they pass, I miss them. In 2018, I studied abroad in Spain. I never been out the country and Its Spain so you would think I would be enjoying myself and wilding out. Nope. Outside of summer classes, some friendly meetups, and mandatory group events, I spent a lot of my time sleeping. Even my host mom got on me about it but I still wasted a lot of my time sleeping. This is a reoccurring issue in my life, I been taking long naps since middle school and they have only gotten longer since then. It started out with two hours of napping the poorer my mental health became, the longer I would sleep. There would be days I would sleep the rest of the day away. I quite literally slept my life away, the time I used for napping could have been used for creating moments and different life experiences. When I was in middle school, high school, and college, I hated it for different reasons, but now that it’s over, I kinda miss those parts of my life. Yes, I realized that I been hitting on more of depression than anxiety so let me get back on topic. Whenever I wasn’t sleeping, I was obsessing with the future. Obsessing with my future, I would become frustrated and mentally tired causing me to take a “ depression nap”. The thing is, depression and anxiety thrive off each other and creates a dangerous cycle. Back to the Spain example, when I wasn’t wasting time napping I was getting in the way of my own happiness by thinking about the near future, the far future, steps I needed to take, the impeding doom of death( why, idk🤷🏾♀️), losing a loved one, and just simply not enjoying my current situation.
A relationship with God is the best, most authentic relationship you will ever have!🙏🏾 It’s amazing that you started on your journey in your early 20’s. You’re doing so great 💕👏🏾
I am a Licensed Therapist and I commend you on the content you shared in this video. I hope an exponential amount of young people come by this video. It will surely help them. Keep up the good work!
I finally began my healing journey last year. I've watched my entire life change for the better over the last 12 months. Prayer, meditation, forgiving myself and others, setting boundaries (with Everyone), consistent yoga/exercise, setting goals then following up with action and expecting to be supported and protected in every conceivable way has ver literally changed my reality. Thank you sincerely for being so open and honest about your path!
Watching this at 18, I am ready to put my past behind me. I had to move out of my home at 17 due to a toxic negative household. This doesn’t come easy to me, but i’m trying & learning. It’s not easy💗 God bless Youre beautiful girl
Listen, we sometimes say that God doesn't speak to us because we don't hear an audible voice, BUT GOD speaks in different ways and through different avenues. God has truly used you to minister to me through your video. Your OLD life is EXCATLY where I am RIGHT NOW in my life and have struggled with the the SAME attitudes and behaviors even down to being unapproachable or not likeable person. This video is God speaking directly to me concerning my life right where I am TODAY, AND showing me how much time I have wasted, where I should have been 5yrs ago and how God will raise up another to do what you were DESTINED to do, what you were WILLED, what you were PURPOSED to do. Octavia, thank you for sharing, thank you for being open, thank you for being strong. I just want to encourage you sister, you are walking in your destiny, fulfilling your God ordained purpose. Sis you are Blessed and EVERYTHING you touch will prosper. Praises to GOD who is a KEEPER !
That “appearance” one hit me! People would always remark how I seemed mean and they didn’t even know me. I felt like that was there problem but I now realize it’s how I come off and it doesn’t hurt to soften. It was just my way of self protection
I loved this video. Paused it to seek a black woman therapist. We take on so much and think it's important to just hold it all together on our own. The strongest thing to do is realize you don't and accept help.
What if you do accept help but it actually doesn’t help you because “the help” really didn’t touch basis on what you vented / tried to receive help about...
@Purple Violet yes someone to keep it 100 with you. No sugar coating anything. Women tend to just agree with you. A man will keep it real! Just try it. It’s not gonna be easy but soooo worth it at the end. ❤️
There is just so much peace in knowing and loving God. The joy and peace that comes from that can’t be compared to any . My joy comets from the Lord. Even when things are not going your way , you trust and believe everything happens fro a reason and a season. God knows best. 🙏🏾
The topic was so authentic and perfect timing. I’m currently on my spiritual journey(growth) and seeking God more. Octavia you’ve grown to be your best version authentically! Thanks for sharing Blessings ♥️
I’m in tears right now because I’m also in my early 20s. I resonate with the internalized suffering and fragility. I thank God that you created this video. Thank you Octavia🤍
When i tell you this video spoke to me on so many levels. I’m turning 30 next week and i definitely needed to see this. I’m so ready for change...positive change that is. I can’t wait to start this new journey. Thank you so much Octavia ❤️
So glad I stumbled on to this video. I am in my sixties and I have to say I am so impressed with the generations coming up. And you are a perfect example. You sure have figured out a lot in your twenty-six years. Thanks for the help. It was just what I needed to hear.
idk how i stumbled across this but i'm so glad i did. i'm 21 and can relate heavily, i'm trying to navigate letting go of bad habits and limiting mindsets so i can become the best version of myself. def would love a part 2!
I needed this video so much 😭 I just turned 30 last year and I've been feeling horrible about myself. Everything that people say you are supposed to accomplish by age 30, is completely out of the window for me. I've made a lot of mistakes and working on recovery now. Having a relationship with God is very essential. Just like you, I've found myself not going to church anymore - but in my case, I'm outgrowing tradition. I'll be starting therapy again soon. I'm so proud of you for beginning your journey in your 20s. Thank you for your transparency! You're beautiful 🥰 New subbie 💕
I took this journey of finding self love and eliminating negative energy out of my life a couple of years ago and it was the best decision I made. So happy you’re on this journey, trust me once you look back at your progress, it feels so rewarding. Awesome video 🥰🥰
I just love how your channel feels like a family. Self-care and wellness have been top of my priorities the past few years and the results have been amazing 🤎
I'm happy you were able to recognize that you needed therapy. I'm in my early 30s but I experienced the exact same thing in my early 20s but sadly, I let it persist. Glad to be past it now but I do have my moments where I wish I would've gotten it together sooner. Better late than never though :) Cant wait to see where this journey takes you. Keep inspiring!
When I read the boundaries book the hard part for me was implementing it in established relationships. Like my marriage and my relationship with my mom were tough but i became happier and eventually others realized and my well-being took priority
Life is all about evolving and "training" ourselves to be better humans, right? What spoke to you most in this video that you are able to apply to your training? For me I love the part about being present and in the moment. So powerful!
OG subscriber but never comment Bc my shyness😂😂😂❤️ Being 18 I was tired of the ratchet side of UA-cam and octavia really became my YT big sis. Helping with my feminine and self love side. Will be using these tips
I can definitely relate to having my family be a huge motivator to live. Thinking about them hurting hurts me more than ambivalence about life. Really loving the transparency here! 💕💕
Setting boundaries is where many people struggle. Saying 'no' to protect your sanity is NOT being selfish. Selfish is the other person making a demanding request and expecting your compliance. Glad you found your way back Octavia.
Girl you have your family so you get love from them so it’s easy to self love! Some people don’t have that so they will be suicidal. Be grateful for what you have and that you were able to climb out. You have a support system. Just be glad.
Putting you first is very important Thais is a journey I have been through and came to a conscious decision to put me first to give out my best. I have five kids and nothing stops me from doing what makes me happy because I have to be happy to be a good wife mom friend etc God is the ultimate
I’m grateful to God that you’re still here and we’re here for you, maybe not physically but virtually through the internet, all of your supporters, we’re here for you. 💕
Good for you for recognizing that you wanted to grow and putting in the work. Self work is not an easy thing, but starting and sticking with therapy is definitely helpful 🥰
Girl, AMEN!! I just started setting boundaries in my life and people aren’t happy about it. - I have anxiety too! But, I am feeling a lot better and that’s all that matters for me! 🙌🏾❤️
My God!!! This has blessed me tremendously! I can relate and I started these practices at the beginning of the year and I am so much better. Therapy, exercise, changing my mindset, and thoughts have REALLY been essential. I'm getting this book! Thank you!
Thank you for being candid.I realize that I am insecure and I attract other insecure people. Too often we blame others for our misery. I'm learning to take responsibility for my life.I also had to learn to define myself.
the first thought I had when I saw this opening was...wow, I love the aesthetics in this video. Love the decor/background, your pj's, your makeup, the lighting and camera. Beautiful. Also, love your voice and the way you speak!
Love this, ❤❤❤❤❤❤, Love this. Many young women need to hear this. I too am going through this process. It's a little harder because it involves potentially walking away from a 10 year marriage and moving out of state with 2 young children. Thank you hon, for being transparent and vulnerable. You are super amazing. God bless you ans i wish you success. Yes to part 2/3/4.....lol
You can’t tell you have a speech impediment at all ❤️ this video actually inspires me, as I’m working on overcoming my speech impediment, and adore how clearly you speak 🙂 thank you for this video!
validation from others is temporary while self love is forever because if you think about it: who are you going to be with 24/7? the answer is not your family, your friends or anyone else, IT IS YOU!! i struggled with self love for YEARS and I'm still learning but honestly it is SO SO important (i can't stress this enough) with self love almost anything comes in a flow
You are so spot on! It is definitely nice to get validation from others, but if we don't believe it first and foremost about ourselves the validation from others will never hold true in our heart and mind. Love yourself and everything else falls into place!
OMG YES!!!! Firstly, this video just popped up. I can relate to how negative my mind is, all these insecurities, doubt, fear- It has paralyzed me. Mental has to be taken care of with therapy yes, I use to think therapy was a big no especially when I wanted that relationship with God. I was like what can a therapist do for me that God can't. But I see now that BOTH is very important. When you were talking about boundaries I screamed- I used to be a HEAVY yes person. One day I just became so tired it bothered the fuck out of me. I started to say NO to people- setting boundaries- and I was greeted with that same reaction- they were upset, nasty even. I was shocked but I stuck to it. I have to stop being toxic to myself as well. We are currently the same age right now so I know when I stick to this and train myself I can see myself out of this.
I liked the video! Can you please do a video of how you moved from your mama house and start to live by yourself How you got the courage to do it and how you stay on top of your game I think that will help lots of people who are young in their 20’s to know where to start their life thanks! I been following you for a long time and I really I appreciate you! Much love
Thank you so much for being vulnerable with us! You are a light in a dark place! You are doing an amazing job! I pray you continue to just get better and continue to evolve! This video has an important message!
😭😢🤗🥰 sooo me after about 25 & not wanting to hurt my super loving family was a big role with me keeping going too! I’m about to finish watching. This is so good! May be back. The more comments the better lol
I think u r amazing u helped me gain a lot of confident in my self and I am 31 keep up thè good job it would be amazing if u did a part two on this topic
I'm 29 and really want my 30s to be more positive! There is a lot of pressure for people in their 20s to have a fun life when it's more of a time to graft at work and be resilient emotionally. I like the content you shared and I really want to enjoy a more positive journey! X
My friend bought me that book and I started reading it, but I didn't finish it. I really need to finish it. I'm so confused about life right now until I just don't know what to do. Thank you for this video.
I immediately called my insurance provider to get a therapist. I’ll have my first session this evening. Thank you so much for ALL of this! I had already been wanting to get a therapist and work on my prayer life, but the first few minutes of this video created urgency in me. May God continue to bless you!
This talk really hit home. I really had to walk away from some friends and even family members in order to gain a more positive outlook. I’m so glad you posted this!
Living in the present 🎁 is something I have been working on too! I entertain hypotheticals too much and enjoy visiting past thoughts. Creative imagination but need to know how to control my mind. OMG! You’re so me through the different phases. I’m a few years older and have to catch up in certain areas.
I love how strong you are in this video... personally, I find it very difficult to talk about things that has held me down at some point... it's a "once i'm over it, that's that" kinda thing... I applaud you. I loved this video...
It's very powerful that you decided to share this video. Mindset is everything and once you start to change your mind and open your mind life becomes so much better.
It will! Change your “hopefully” to “It will” You are in control of the positivity you bring in your life. Start with your mindset! Sending love your way!
I connect to what you're saying so much! All points are valid and true. Its so nice to see a beautiful black woman shining and spreading positivity! Keep glowing girl 💫
I can definitely relate to this. I'm 24 now but struggled with depression as well as purposelessness & thoughts of self harm when I was a lil younger but it is still a daily battle that gets better. I internalize a lot so my family still don't know much but my relationship with God definitely saved me. I had to drop a few friends too. Now I'm at a place of learning to love my self more and to take it one day at a time. 💖 Thanks for the reminders YES to the part 2 please! 👏
I don't know how I came across this video but I am glad I did. I don't know you but this video shifted something in me, I felt like you were speaking directly to ME. Thank you girl, I needed this....thank you.
I learned to change my life by praying to God more and giving my life to him and being more focused on what he thinks about me. A relationship with God is what’s helped me.
This is the first video of yours I've seen. I really found it helpful. I don't understand when people say you can't love others until you love yourself first. I have always found it easy to love others and have struggled to prioritize myself
I don't know how I found your video, but I watched it. I am glad that you figured this out in your early years. I am 46 and a lot of what you are saying, I didn't get a grasp early in life. So a lot of years were spent in that dark place. I have for have spent a lot of time talking with my daughter so that she has a clear understanding now. You keep growing, and when you get down on yourself refer back to this video of you speaking to you. Continue to prosper on this journey called life.
This video is a sign for me. I am reading that book about boundaries and have been saving for therapy. Really helps to see someone whose on the other side. Appreciate your openess.
Octavia, you don’t know how much this video means to me! And this is exactly what I needed. Thank you so much! These tips were heart warming to be honest 😭❤️ please post more of these Inspirational videos if you can ,
I love you Octivia thank you so much for this video. I've been trying to find who I am and my purpose and I learned to stop seeking love from other people that only I could give myself. now I say "if you don't value me I won't beg you to. I know I'm worth it " and you keep encouraging me
1.Get a Therapist
2.Start Praying and building a Relationship with God
3.Ditch Toxic Friends and stop being Toxic yourself
4.Set boundaries
5. Love yourself first before loving others
6.Change your mindset
7. Focus on the present
She broke it down really well so would recommend anyone reading this to watch the video. Tremendously inspiring
@Mama Queen that’s a pretty deep question I’m not sure if you should take any UA-cam comment as an answer I believe that’s an answer you should find out your self through reading research or getting into discussions with people that you trust and think that they can really help you in finding the right answer, I have an answer but again it’s what I personally believe, so make sure to settle on an answer that you truly believe in and to know why you do.
Excuse me poor English I tried my best. Good luck
@Mama Queen Trust me God does exist.I am a living testimony to that.I will be praying for u that get an experience of him in your own life.
Danah is right but speaking from experience. God is real, The God of The Bible I mean.
@@Mary-dk7mc God wrote the Torah, Bible, then Quran as the last and finalized book.
L
I was so busy thinking about the future that i forgot to live in the present and always putting things off that i wanted to do for another time
I was literally just saying this the other day. I’m learning to live in the present.
Guilty. Any tips on how to live in the present?
@@ValerieChigbata I’m not there yet but I’ll give u tips on how I started. First step is therapy, this is a form of anxiety and may need professional help. The next tips are more for enhancing your present life and taking your mind off the future.Try to pick up new hobbies, travel to different places, do things outside normal routine, try to be busy, practice mindfulness. During covid, I picked up different hobbies and honestly, I felt happier and didn’t spend much time obsessing on the future. For traveling, I recommend starting out slow and just going to a different city or a unknown area close to you to explore. For me, I often start to think about the future because I feel stagnant in my present situation and everyday life. I try to do different things outside of my normal routine to keep changing things up and keep that monster away. Not having anything to do allows time for you to think about the future and think yourself into depression or into anxiety, try to do things to keep your mind and body occupied. Lastly mindfulness. I’m not even going to lie to you, I have no idea how to practice mindfulness. I more
so focus on my self love, self image, and self esteem. One of the reasons I think ahead a lot is because I want to be “better”. I take note of things that I think would be better in the future and focus on things that I like about present me.
I came to this conclusion during covid actually( quarter life crisis). I realized one of my flaws is I can never enjoy present moments and when they pass, I miss them. In 2018, I studied abroad in Spain. I never been out the country and Its Spain so you would think I would be enjoying myself and wilding out. Nope. Outside of summer classes, some friendly meetups, and mandatory group events, I spent a lot of my time sleeping. Even my host mom got on me about it but I still wasted a lot of my time sleeping. This is a reoccurring issue in my life, I been taking long naps since middle school and they have only gotten longer since then. It started out with two hours of napping the poorer my mental health became, the longer I would sleep. There would be days I would sleep the rest of the day away. I quite literally slept my life away, the time I used for napping could have been used for creating moments and different life experiences. When I was in middle school, high school, and college, I hated it for different reasons, but now that it’s over, I kinda miss those parts of my life. Yes, I realized that I been hitting on more of depression than anxiety so let me get back on topic. Whenever I wasn’t sleeping, I was obsessing with the future. Obsessing with my future, I would become frustrated and mentally tired causing me to take a “ depression nap”. The thing is, depression and anxiety thrive off each other and creates a dangerous cycle. Back to the Spain example, when I wasn’t wasting time napping I was getting in the way of my own happiness by thinking about the near future, the far future, steps I needed to take, the impeding doom of death( why, idk🤷🏾♀️), losing a loved one, and just simply not enjoying my current situation.
Dear I sat on that table and it hurts how much I missed. Now I be decided to leave in the present.
A relationship with God is the best, most authentic relationship you will ever have!🙏🏾 It’s amazing that you started on your journey in your early 20’s. You’re doing so great 💕👏🏾
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you❤️ agreed
💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️
GOD is #1 always!! YES YES YES
In early 30's also don't you think??? Or this it to late?
I am a Licensed Therapist and I commend you on the content you shared in this video. I hope an exponential amount of young people come by this video. It will surely help them. Keep up the good work!
I finally began my healing journey last year. I've watched my entire life change for the better over the last 12 months. Prayer, meditation, forgiving myself and others, setting boundaries (with Everyone), consistent yoga/exercise, setting goals then following up with action and expecting to be supported and protected in every conceivable way has ver literally changed my reality. Thank you sincerely for being so open and honest about your path!
Yassss love this ❤️
This sounds like the journey im currently on, its not hard but I know it will be worth it
I honestly can relate to this whole video. The 20s can be so dark, I am glad that you took charge and turned your life around.
Thank you !
Watching this at 18, I am ready to put my past behind me. I had to move out of my home at 17 due to a toxic negative household. This doesn’t come easy to me, but i’m trying & learning. It’s not easy💗 God bless Youre beautiful girl
Listen, we sometimes say that God doesn't speak to us because we don't hear an audible voice, BUT GOD speaks in different ways and through different avenues. God has truly used you to minister to me through your video. Your OLD life is EXCATLY where I am RIGHT NOW in my life and have struggled with the the SAME attitudes and behaviors even down to being unapproachable or not likeable person. This video is God speaking directly to me concerning my life right where I am TODAY, AND showing me how much time I have wasted, where I should have been 5yrs ago and how God will raise up another to do what you were DESTINED to do, what you were WILLED, what you were PURPOSED to do. Octavia, thank you for sharing, thank you for being open, thank you for being strong. I just want to encourage you sister, you are walking in your destiny, fulfilling your God ordained purpose. Sis you are Blessed and EVERYTHING you touch will prosper. Praises to GOD who is a KEEPER !
❤️❤️❤️At 36 I’m learning to stop wearing the mask! Breaking my perfectionist mindset and live! Great content!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am 35 and going through the same process. Boundaries, spirituality, therapist and all. Best of success to you all.
I'm 37...same...
Just thank you for this video 🙏🏾❤️
Definitely going through this same “awakening”. 30s glow up!
That “appearance” one hit me! People would always remark how I seemed mean and they didn’t even know me. I felt like that was there problem but I now realize it’s how I come off and it doesn’t hurt to soften. It was just my way of self protection
I feel this a 1000%
So true
I loved this video. Paused it to seek a black woman therapist. We take on so much and think it's important to just hold it all together on our own. The strongest thing to do is realize you don't and accept help.
Love this! This is true
What if you do accept help but it actually doesn’t help you because “the help” really didn’t touch basis on what you vented / tried to receive help about...
@@mrs.dillon8587 drop them and seek someone else
I say see a man therapist if you really want your money’s worth. May God bless your journey babe 💕
@Purple Violet yes someone to keep it 100 with you. No sugar coating anything. Women tend to just agree with you. A man will keep it real! Just try it. It’s not gonna be easy but soooo worth it at the end. ❤️
There is just so much peace in knowing and loving God. The joy and peace that comes from that can’t be compared to any . My joy comets from the Lord. Even when things are not going your way , you trust and believe everything happens fro a reason and a season. God knows best. 🙏🏾
The topic was so authentic and perfect timing.
I’m currently on my spiritual journey(growth) and seeking God more.
Octavia you’ve grown to be your best version authentically!
Thanks for sharing
Blessings ♥️
Thank you so much for your kind words! You got this ❤️
I’m in tears right now because I’m also in my early 20s. I resonate with the internalized suffering and fragility. I thank God that you created this video. Thank you Octavia🤍
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Aww you got this , I promise you
Learning to put your self first is a never ending journey that I have to constantly remind my self of. Thanks so much for sharing Octavia.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
When i tell you this video spoke to me on so many levels. I’m turning 30 next week and i definitely needed to see this. I’m so ready for change...positive change that is. I can’t wait to start this new journey. Thank you so much Octavia ❤️
You got this! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for watching & for the support
So glad I stumbled on to this video. I am in my sixties and I have to say I am so impressed with the generations coming up. And you are a perfect example. You sure have figured out a lot in your twenty-six years. Thanks for the help. It was just what I needed to hear.
idk how i stumbled across this but i'm so glad i did. i'm 21 and can relate heavily, i'm trying to navigate letting go of bad habits and limiting mindsets so i can become the best version of myself. def would love a part 2!
Also adding that “Boundaries” book to my tbr 2021 list !
Yes!
Same!
I love everything this video has to offer. Growth and the neutral background 👍🏾
Yess. I started therapy too and pray more too
That’s awesome! You’ll get through this , just be consistent
Therapy changed my life for the better and also brought me closer to God 🙌🙌.
I needed this video so much 😭 I just turned 30 last year and I've been feeling horrible about myself. Everything that people say you are supposed to accomplish by age 30, is completely out of the window for me. I've made a lot of mistakes and working on recovery now. Having a relationship with God is very essential. Just like you, I've found myself not going to church anymore - but in my case, I'm outgrowing tradition. I'll be starting therapy again soon. I'm so proud of you for beginning your journey in your 20s. Thank you for your transparency! You're beautiful 🥰 New subbie 💕
Aww you got this ✨❤️
age is not matters you can do anything whatever you want to do
I took this journey of finding self love and eliminating negative energy out of my life a couple of years ago and it was the best decision I made. So happy you’re on this journey, trust me once you look back at your progress, it feels so rewarding. Awesome video 🥰🥰
I just love how your channel feels like a family. Self-care and wellness have been top of my priorities the past few years and the results have been amazing 🤎
It takes a lot of courage to make a video like this. Glad you posted it!! 😊
So true I’ve made this video so many times
I'm happy you were able to recognize that you needed therapy. I'm in my early 30s but I experienced the exact same thing in my early 20s but sadly, I let it persist. Glad to be past it now but I do have my moments where I wish I would've gotten it together sooner. Better late than never though :) Cant wait to see where this journey takes you. Keep inspiring!
When I read the boundaries book the hard part for me was implementing it in established relationships. Like my marriage and my relationship with my mom were tough but i became happier and eventually others realized and my well-being took priority
That’s great! Boundaries were definitely the hard part for me as well
Pls can you recommend the books on boundaries
I love that! That you’ve “trained” yourself to be who you are today. Nobody wakes up or starts there
Life is all about evolving and "training" ourselves to be better humans, right? What spoke to you most in this video that you are able to apply to your training? For me I love the part about being present and in the moment. So powerful!
The Power of Positive Thinking is also a great book.
I have been watching you and just love who you are as a person
AMEN! 👏🏼🙌🏼The real glow up is internal! Find yourself, Love yourself, accept yourself, & definitely be YOURSELF! 🌹🌹
A beautiful reminder that we can evolve and become a better version of ourselves always..
Thank you for sharing your journey Queen..
OG subscriber but never comment Bc my shyness😂😂😂❤️ Being 18 I was tired of the ratchet side of UA-cam and octavia really became my YT big sis. Helping with my feminine and self love side. Will be using these tips
Awww thank you so much
I can definitely relate to having my family be a huge motivator to live. Thinking about them hurting hurts me more than ambivalence about life. Really loving the transparency here! 💕💕
Setting boundaries is where many people struggle. Saying 'no' to protect your sanity is NOT being selfish. Selfish is the other person making a demanding request and expecting your compliance. Glad you found your way back Octavia.
Yes part 2 please... love the PJ's its giving grown and mature vibes
Girl you have your family so you get love from them so it’s easy to self love! Some people don’t have that so they will be suicidal. Be grateful for what you have and that you were able to climb out. You have a support system. Just be glad.
Putting you first is very important
Thais is a journey I have been through and came to a conscious decision to put me first to give out my best.
I have five kids and nothing stops me from doing what makes me happy because I have to be happy to be a good wife mom friend etc
God is the ultimate
I’m grateful to God that you’re still here and we’re here for you, maybe not physically but virtually through the internet, all of your supporters, we’re here for you. 💕
Good for you for recognizing that you wanted to grow and putting in the work. Self work is not an easy thing, but starting and sticking with therapy is definitely helpful 🥰
God is really working on you girl! Amen, I love this. Congratulations!
Girl, AMEN!! I just started setting boundaries in my life and people aren’t happy about it. - I have anxiety too! But, I am feeling a lot better and that’s all that matters for me! 🙌🏾❤️
I am 51 years old,and listening to a wonderful young lady like you for the very first time in 2021:Thanks Kelly stamps for cheering me up on 3/7/21:
My God!!! This has blessed me tremendously! I can relate and I started these practices at the beginning of the year and I am so much better. Therapy, exercise, changing my mindset, and thoughts have REALLY been essential. I'm getting this book! Thank you!
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for being candid.I realize that I am insecure and I attract other insecure people. Too often we blame others for our misery.
I'm learning to take responsibility for my life.I also had to learn to define myself.
Sounds like you are making amazing steps forward in your journey. What is the best way you have learned to define yourself?
I am speechless! This is the exact process I am going through right now!
the first thought I had when I saw this opening was...wow, I love the aesthetics in this video. Love the decor/background, your pj's, your makeup, the lighting and camera. Beautiful. Also, love your voice and the way you speak!
Thank you so much!
Love this, ❤❤❤❤❤❤, Love this. Many young women need to hear this. I too am going through this process. It's a little harder because it involves potentially walking away from a 10 year marriage and moving out of state with 2 young children.
Thank you hon, for being transparent and vulnerable. You are super amazing.
God bless you ans i wish you success.
Yes to part 2/3/4.....lol
Really enjoyed mom …..she touched a spot
You can’t tell you have a speech impediment at all ❤️ this video actually inspires me, as I’m working on overcoming my speech impediment, and adore how clearly you speak 🙂 thank you for this video!
validation from others is temporary while self love is forever
because if you think about it: who are you going to be with 24/7? the answer is not your family, your friends or anyone else, IT IS YOU!!
i struggled with self love for YEARS and I'm still learning but honestly it is SO SO important (i can't stress this enough) with self love almost anything comes in a flow
You are so spot on! It is definitely nice to get validation from others, but if we don't believe it first and foremost about ourselves the validation from others will never hold true in our heart and mind. Love yourself and everything else falls into place!
Octavia is indeed my fave NOTIFICATION. Every piece if advice in this video is golden. You are such a mogul for young women!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
OMG YES!!!! Firstly, this video just popped up. I can relate to how negative my mind is, all these insecurities, doubt, fear- It has paralyzed me. Mental has to be taken care of with therapy yes, I use to think therapy was a big no especially when I wanted that relationship with God. I was like what can a therapist do for me that God can't. But I see now that BOTH is very important. When you were talking about boundaries I screamed- I used to be a HEAVY yes person. One day I just became so tired it bothered the fuck out of me. I started to say NO to people- setting boundaries- and I was greeted with that same reaction- they were upset, nasty even. I was shocked but I stuck to it. I have to stop being toxic to myself as well. We are currently the same age right now so I know when I stick to this and train myself I can see myself out of this.
Proud of you for putting in the work in yourself. And my family kept me going as well so I definitely understand why you were crying. 🤗
You’re the big sis I never had. May God help us all. I have always loved listening to you
I liked the video! Can you please do a video of how you moved from your mama house and start to live by yourself
How you got the courage to do it and how you stay on top of your game I think that will help lots of people who are young in their 20’s to know where to start their life thanks!
I been following you for a long time and I really I appreciate you! Much love
Thank you so much ! I will work on this
@@OctaviaB yeee!!! Thx!
Yeaaaa i want this!!
Yesssss this please
Omg pleaseeeeee
Saying no to toxic people is no longer an issue in my life.Thanks Kelly stamps for all the helpful advice.😁😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
Thank you so much for being vulnerable with us! You are a light in a dark place! You are doing an amazing job! I pray you continue to just get better and continue to evolve! This video has an important message!
😭😢🤗🥰 sooo me after about 25 & not wanting to hurt my super loving family was a big role with me keeping going too! I’m about to finish watching. This is so good! May be back. The more comments the better lol
"Love yourself enough for everybody else!" - Thank you, I needed that! ❤️🙏🏻
“If not for myself for my family” amen 🙏🏽
I think u r amazing u helped me gain a lot of confident in my self and I am 31 keep up thè good job it would be amazing if u did a part two on this topic
I'm 29 and really want my 30s to be more positive! There is a lot of pressure for people in their 20s to have a fun life when it's more of a time to graft at work and be resilient emotionally. I like the content you shared and I really want to enjoy a more positive journey! X
My friend bought me that book and I started reading it, but I didn't finish it. I really need to finish it. I'm so confused about life right now until I just don't know what to do. Thank you for this video.
You have a greater purpose in life. Everything you go through is temporary. Always, always remember that 💞
@@aurelia7878 Thank you so much! 🥰🥰🥰
No problem! Don’t hesitate if you need any direction ❤️
I immediately called my insurance provider to get a therapist. I’ll have my first session this evening. Thank you so much for ALL of this! I had already been wanting to get a therapist and work on my prayer life, but the first few minutes of this video created urgency in me. May God continue to bless you!
This was absolutely beautiful to watch. You are so special & I am proud of you.
Proud of your growth!! The Lord is increasing your territory 🤍🤍
This talk really hit home. I really had to walk away from some friends and even family members in order to gain a more positive outlook. I’m so glad you posted this!
Living in the present 🎁 is something I have been working on too! I entertain hypotheticals too much and enjoy visiting past thoughts. Creative imagination but need to know how to control my mind. OMG! You’re so me through the different phases. I’m a few years older and have to catch up in certain areas.
Yes! This is what I’m doing now.... setting boundaries. Boundaries is a great book. Thank you for sharing!
Tysm for watching ❤️
Needed this. I will focus on the present not the past or future.
I never really comment on videos but I loved this video, definitely showing my young teenage daughter, she reminds me of you. Thank you
Genuinely the most beautiful person I have ever seen
You are Heaven sent....Thank you so much !!!!
Aww tysm for watching ❤️
Huge respect to you for your honesty
I love how strong you are in this video... personally, I find it very difficult to talk about things that has held me down at some point... it's a "once i'm over it, that's that" kinda thing... I applaud you. I loved this video...
Thank you so much 😊
It's very powerful that you decided to share this video. Mindset is everything and once you start to change your mind and open your mind life becomes so much better.
Subscribed immediately. i would try to practice this tips...hopefully my life would turn around positively
It will! Change your “hopefully” to “It will” You are in control of the positivity you bring in your life. Start with your mindset! Sending love your way!
Octavia you've help me so much with your videos especially this one, thank you so much 🤗❤🇯🇲
I’m so happy that you put in the work to love & cherish yourself, and came out stronger, happier and healthier Lil Sis!
I come back to this video a lot. Thank you, you inspire me so much and one of my favorite influencers!
This video is literally what I’m going through now. Thank you for sharing!
I connect to what you're saying so much! All points are valid and true. Its so nice to see a beautiful black woman shining and spreading positivity! Keep glowing girl 💫
I can definitely relate to this. I'm 24 now but struggled with depression as well as purposelessness & thoughts of self harm when I was a lil younger but it is still a daily battle that gets better. I internalize a lot so my family still don't know much but my relationship with God definitely saved me. I had to drop a few friends too.
Now I'm at a place of learning to love my self more and to take it one day at a time. 💖 Thanks for the reminders
YES to the part 2 please! 👏
So great! Sending you lots of love! ❤️
This video is for me!!! Thank you
I don't know how I came across this video but I am glad I did. I don't know you but this video shifted something in me, I felt like you were speaking directly to ME. Thank you girl, I needed this....thank you.
Aww I’m so happy this video helped you ❤️
Girl same. Something clicked in me like she was talking to me. I wish you the best in you your journey🤎
I'm in love with the color scheme of your bedroom...so calming.
I learned to change my life by praying to God more and giving my life to him and being more focused on what he thinks about me. A relationship with God is what’s helped me.
This is the first video of yours I've seen. I really found it helpful. I don't understand when people say you can't love others until you love yourself first. I have always found it easy to love others and have struggled to prioritize myself
God bless you.
Continue to grow in the Lord.
More wisdom to do more ….
Amen 🙏🏼
thank you !
This gives me hope currently going through a hard time and negative head space and it seems never ending.
This was such a real video. I’m sure a lot of ppl needed this testimony 🙌🏾 continue being a light Octavia ❤️
I don't know how I found your video, but I watched it. I am glad that you figured this out in your early years. I am 46 and a lot of what you are saying, I didn't get a grasp early in life. So a lot of years were spent in that dark place. I have for have spent a lot of time talking with my daughter so that she has a clear understanding now. You keep growing, and when you get down on yourself refer back to this video of you speaking to you. Continue to prosper on this journey called life.
I love this video, very cozy and I feel safe here💕 I’m glad you’re in a healthy space now and you’re still here💕🌺
This video is a sign for me. I am reading that book about boundaries and have been saving for therapy. Really helps to see someone whose on the other side. Appreciate your openess.
This was a phenomenal video!! Great job. And thank you for the transparency.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
I love you so much, your past is the current me and I believe I'll reach your level of self care one day.
Octavia, you don’t know how much this video means to me! And this is exactly what I needed. Thank you so much! These tips were heart warming to be honest 😭❤️ please post more of these Inspirational videos if you can ,
You're so welcome!
I love you Octivia thank you so much for this video. I've been trying to find who I am and my purpose and I learned to stop seeking love from other people that only I could give myself. now I say "if you don't value me I won't beg you to. I know I'm worth it " and you keep encouraging me
You are so welcome
I've literally been doing all the things you've mentioned except for therapy which I'm actually starting tomorrow! I can't wait!
I appreciate you and your honesty. You don’t know how many people this video will help 💕