I think that we are in love with the idea of WEDDING (partying, posting on IG) but not the MARRIAGE (sacrificing, understanding, compromising). This testimony was powerful and raw, ppl think we have to have problems to go to therapy but counselling on a regular can be preventive. Loved the empowerment, vulnerability and how she said she's learning to lean on God again :)
I was listening to a podcast where a man was saying how he just entered a new relationship and one of the first things he suggested to the woman he was seeing was couples therapy. Not because there's something wrong, but because he wants to understand the best way they can communicate with each other. Gifts are sexy, but damn.. That's truly hot. Relationships only work if we do the work
HEY MY LOVES SO EXCITED TO SHARE THIS INTIMATE CONVERSATION WITH YOU ALL, ALL I ASK FOR IS COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING, LETS SEND LOVE AND POSITIVE ENERGY TO CASS AND EVERYONE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE OR SEPARATION. LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND AND NOT TO JUDGE ♥️
Wait I can't believe I didn't realise they got divorced. I pray she continues to heal and grow in love. May she continue to be surrounding by genuine friends like you. God is always in control.
I went through a lot of financial crisis during my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college..
I'm a single dad. Not quite long I started investing. I'm very curious and need help on how to enhance and increase my returns. Any good investment tips would be appreciated..
@@eadad4371 Generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with (Regina Louise Collaro) an investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance.She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her. She made me financially stable investing through her help, now I earn on a monthly basis through her passive income strategy... So I’ll advise you do get a good Investment advisor for yourself.
@@stephaniefythm That’s great , your investment advisor must be really good,I have seen testimonies of people using the help of investment advisors in making them more financial stable. Do you mind sharing more info on this person?
@@eadad4371 look her up on the internet and leave her a message she's quite popular for her services as she was recently featured on cnn. She can work with anyone irrespective of where their located
@@stephaniefythm You are right, I am one of many who has benefited from investing with Regina Louise Collaro. 2020 is an unforgettable year in my life, back then I lost my job due to covid ,got divorced and had no reason to live. Regina made a good life possible for me through passive income and I owe her my life. To be honest, I feel like she is an angel of who was sent to help those who are suffering financially.
That thing about Christians saying you’re “speaking negativity over your life” is called toxic positivity. To work on something you need to acknowledge it & not dismiss it.
Even in the bible, the woman at the well had to acknowledge that she had many husbands before God could heal her. In order for God to heal you fully, you have to fully open yourself up to God and be honest about who you are (that’s why God said come to me as you are)
I'm just coming off fresh from a breakup, to the point I was spiraling out of control as I wasn't coping well with it at all! Then I came across a TikTok of someone announcing Cass and Karl's break up and I was so shocked at first thinking nahhhh, why what happened they were perfect for each other etc etc after watching this I have such a new perspective on views of relationships and just want to THANK YOU both for this video but mainly you Cass for speaking your truth and you'll properly never read this but your video has really helped me to be able to accept this breakup and knowing that its okay to still be friends and start again so THANK YOU and God bless
As a divorcee, with a #relationshipgoals external appearance, I really feel this. Three of my friends died in 4 years and it reminded me that life was too short to endure mistreatment.
Amen. I recently divorce my husband. I got my ah ha moment last year. Once my dad passed unexpectedly, I knew life too short to waste on people who isn't meant for me.
A beautiful wedding doesn't equal a successful marriage. So much happens after the wedding. They had a beautiful wedding and then got divorced. Why are we shaming or attacking people for their lives? So weird.
Because it's exactly as Cassie said. People will project their dream life onto you and make you relationship goal even tho you never claimed to be, and put the blame on you when their bubble bursts.
My ex-husband and I were "relationship goals" we had a beautiful wedding, and it ended a month later because he was abusing me behind closed doors. The optics of a relationship mean NOTHING, and what goes on behind the scenes is what really matters.
As a man I’ve listened to this and I agree with some things and disagree with others. In general men are logical in nature and women are emotional in nature. I don’t think people really understand the true nature of what’s involved when it comes to relationships and especially marriage. Those vows are for better for worse, richer poorer and sickness and in health. If both parties are prepared to identify their own issues (which it seems they are) and work on themselves then there’s no reason not to stick it out. The grass may seem greener else where but we all have issues and marriage is a commitment to work through your issues together. I also think we as a generation have been sheltered from the problems that our parents encountered. If we actually sit down with the older generation and ask them what they encountered in their marriages etc you will really hear some stories. Social media has made perfection seem achievable and we never get to see what goes on behind people highlight reels.
@The Many Phases Tarot yh I hear what you are saying about some relationships/friendships not meant to be forever, but marriage is a different type of commitment especially as she said she's a Christian so it's not just about the marriage but the covenant made with God. Ofcourse I can't judge because even after this only they will truly know the depths of their problems, but she did say that it happened very quickly. Sometimes, (maybe not this case) but people jump to snap decisions as if they expected to not have bad days. P. S this does not include relationships with abuse.
Very well said! Its amazing how vulnerable and open this lady has been in this video, so many lessons to learn from her. It's so sad she felt she didn't explore EVERY avenue (including proffesional help) to treat their the issues before coming to the decision to break their convenant before God (since they are Christians). I fear her conclusion at 42:36 is all some people will leave this coversation with, as marital commitments are seemingly becoming more trivial. Barring partner abuse and adultry, EVERY avenue to tackle marital issues should be explored, ESPECIALLY if a child is involved. I do wish these two the very best in their futures as they navigate throught it.
I support this comment, you made a great point we've been truly sheltered from reality,so when we are faced with stumbling blocks we run . We don't step over them,knowing that this too shall pass.
Thank you beautiful for shedding light on the journey of healing!Your friend was supportive!! 💕💕💕 It's good you released what will help others in the right timing. I know it will be appreciated by those who have found newfound hope! 🕊🤗💕
It’s great that Casey and Carl are able to put their differences aside and focus on the co-parenting. Relationships are challenging , break ups are complicated especially when there is a child involved. When I left my child’s father 5 years ago I felt ashamed that it didn’t work out. He also has another child from a previous relationship. When our daughter was 2 years old he moved to another country. He called it a ‘fresh start’ Anyway…. I just get on with it and try to be the best I can be for myself and my child. Thanks for this video Breeny. x
Issues in a relationship will only magnify within a marriage. Marriage is not a fairy tale fantasy and should only be entered with maturity and selflessness in mind because marriage will have its challenges.
I’m still confused about the root cause 🙁 I don’t want to be judgmental or insensitive to the reason given, but from what I hear it’s two people who got together while they were very young, and didn’t know one another well, got married and realized they weren’t compatible.
as well as while they both are dealing with neurological disorders that are the extreme opposite of each other which caused issues with the way they communicated and outlook on things etc.
@@jlove3371 yea I know but they were kids and young. So they didn't experience much...an I maybe wrong but it may have been rushed to have sex because she or they were abstaining and like breeny said it isn't easy. My only thing is I was waiting for the valid reason why they're getting a divorce. But to each his own. I wish both parties love and light.
Hey! ladies this was like a therapy sessions u did what was best. Married 9yrs, divorced four months it feels like u are grieving a death. You have a rollercostal ride of emotions, loneliness, it sucks. Force to reevaluate ME I had to go deep and fine out what should I have done to take care of me, because had I, I never would have married. Lesson are beautiful
Marriage counseling should be required, thats all I have to say. Sort out your differences before marriage or postpone until you have laid everything out. Issues will not magically disappear after marriage it will only amplify.
@Emmanuella Anyim that’s not what she said tho. Postpone until there is an understanding of your difference that will help you navigate other Future issues.
The issues are many but what we don’t do is take accountability for there growth and development, and a lot of the time people jump into relationships without first addressing there internal demons and self awareness, love is enough when you do the self work and work on character, therapy is needed by many and god needs to be in the relationship and even his spirit inside of people
With love, it should be clarified that ADHD is NOT on the Autism spectrum. There are similarities, but they are NOT the same and are NOT on a singular spectrum. Mental health conditions and diagnoses can be complicated so it's easy to make mistakes. For the benefit of everyone, I think it's important that we recognise misinformation kindly and move forward with humility, keeping the corrections in mind.
Thank you! I literally just commented this and checked to see if anyone else had noticed. However, autism spectrum disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are actually classed as neuro-developmental disorders/conditions. With love as well, God be with you.
I don’t believe Cassie was saying ADHD is on the autism spectrum. She said Karl is autistic and I think she’s just contrasting that her ADHD and his autism is essentially ‘opposites’ of each other, but not on the same spectrum. She mentioned multiple times that ‘Karl is on the spectrum’, she didn’t say they both were.
@@mercyo9073 from 11:15- “Karl is on the spectrum... I’m also on the spectrum but on the other end”. Even if she meant a “spectrum of neuro-developmental disorders” it would still be misinformation as there is no spectrum for that. Often times, you will find that people have more than one actually. Some people even have both autism and ADHD, the conditions are not opposites of each other. I commented to make it extra clear. All the best!
As someone who has dealt with a bf with bipolar disorder, dealing with people with mental illness on top of your own issues, can be emotionally draining, mentally exhausting, and complete emotional burnout that leaves you suffering with anxiety, sleep disturbances, lack of appetite and lack of interest in things you enjoy which leads to depression. Life is too short to live suffering like that.
Divorce is harder on women because society tends to put more of the onus on women to work out relationships, but it's not our responsibility, it's two sided. It saddens me how sometimes Christians can be the first ones to shame you during tough times, instead of embracing and encouraging you in the faith.
Breeny, I love this interview and I absolutely love your channel. I wanted to share a bit of my story with hopes that maybe you’d consider an interview with a small UA-camr on your channel. My husband and I started dating in high school, I was 17 years old. When we got engaged I was celibate and people often referred to my relationship as “goals” or a fairy tale” although I never subscribed to that narrative. We were a normal working class family, never went viral, just normal people trying to make life work. After being in a relationship for about 17 years, 8.5 years of marriage and 2 children later our relationship grew extremely toxic and I filed for divorce. We tried marriage counseling to no avail, I moved out, I was absolutely over it and ready to move on with my life. I started my own personal healing journey including going to therapy in hopes to heal my broken heart and prepare for whatever man the Universe had for my future. Your channel helped me tremendously during my healing!! I continued my healing journey and was ready to finalize my divorce when I decided to start communicating with my ex in a healthier way, we were all of a sudden listening to each other…differently. Fast forward, while I was healing and leveling up my mentality, he was doing the same, we were finally speaking the same language again. The dichotomy of our relationship took a sudden turn and we are back together and will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this year after. I love the message that you’re giving to women, teaching us things we didn’t learn as young girls, empowering us to be the best versions of ourselves and not accepting anything less than. I would love for your audience to hear a different aspect of the spectrum, because there is still hope. I’ve been on a hiatus from social media because I’m literally enjoying being present in my own reality but lately I’ve been so extremely passionate about the growth and development that my season of separation has taught me and I want to share my story with the world and help women like you are. I’ve been preparing to relaunch my YT channel and share my voice story but I would absolutely love to partner with you if you will have me. I am manifesting that this comment gets enough likes for you to see it. If I don’t get the opportunity to work with you I want you to know you have been a huge part of my journey and I cannot be more grateful. Kind regards, Concetta Harris Ctpurnell@gmail.com IG theConcettashow
wow amazing. Great testimony. i want all divorces to turn to this(your story) iam just hearing about Cassie and Karls divorce and iam heartbroken to say the least.
I really love this interview. I still feel Cassie is going through a lot of hurt from losing her mum, her past and coming to terms with everything she’s going through. Things like this can really impact a relationship and it may not necessarily mean you guys weren’t compatible or were not meant for each other. The timing of everything may not have been right, I feel sometimes people jump into marriages without working on themselves first and going through deep healing. Working through a marriage just after losing someone so dear to you is a lot! You can have the perfect person but if you’re still battling with your own demons, things become difficult and a strain to the relationship. I really hope you guys take the time to work on yourselves and heal from the pain of situations you’ve gone through from childhood. You guys are both incredibly talented people and I hope things end up working out! Cassie, you’re not a failure because things didn’t work out. You’ve been through a lot and you deserve every good thing the world could offer! - Also to add on the struggles of motherhood, being a new mum etc!
Adhd and Autism is two different things. I used to work as a secondary school teacher years ago in a Autistic school I also have a brother who has ADHD and has been diagnosed at the age of 29. You have to be diagnosed by a doctor and medical team including psychologist which will be on ur medical records... Plus most people medically diagnosed are on medication for this. It's very simple most marriages aren't compatible.. most relationship aren't compatible... It doesn't have to be a huge thing that causes the break up or marriage to end... It could be the smallest thing...becos when ur not compatible ur not compatible doesn't matter how much you package the marriage one day it will collapse. Compatibility is the BIGGEST thing to ensure from DAY one if u don't get that right.... Omo forget it... One day it will collapse. Alot or marriages ended in 2020 especially between the young adults. Very sad..... The pandemic did more than just COVID but for some this may be a blessing in disguise.
You’re so right. But it’s hard to understand incompatibility when the couple were friends. Friendship in itself is a form of relationship so how can you be friends with someone you’re not compatible with?! It can be complicated..
@@Baabidishie I think we can still be friends, but to enter into a marital covenant is a whole different ball game. That is where we really need the intervention of God, 'compatibility' counselling to know whether we have the right foundation to build a marriage.
@@Baabidishie I have DEFINITELY been friends with alot of people I was not compatible with ... Becos ALOT of friendships are based on sentiment.... Oh we been friends since secondary school and now we're 31... Yeah but from secondary school ur brain has developed, your not the same person... You have matured mentally and biologically so maybe when we we're 12 we we're initially compatible but now we're both 30 we're not cos we are different people but guess what.... We won't end the friendship due to sentiment. This happened to me with many of my childhood friends and in 2020 I cut every single one of them off cos I had to accept that we just weren't compatible anymore and I had to stop viewing the friendship from the 12 year of self and now from my 31 year old self.
Everyone preaches compatibility (incl myself) until I learned compatibility is momentary. They were friends and met at church. At some point they were compatible until they started growing and understanding themselves more. Who you are compatible with at 25 might not be the same at 30. Relationships take hard work. However, ending a relationship is also fine
A relationship that's not private will not work! Too many evil eyes and ppl wishing bad upon you! Your relationships shouldn’t be for others to see on social media
I think everyone is thinking differently about their divorce going off of their own experiences. What you feel is trivial isn't trivial to another person. What truly is important is honoring what matters most to you in your own heart and mind. ❤
This was AMAZING & so necessary. After watching this I signed up for therapy sessions. I need it.. I need help.. No more running. Glory be to God! Thank you for your OBEDIENCE Breeny. Many people need to hear this types of conversations. 💜
Great interview! I really wished they would have gone to therapy. I truly believe the marriage could have been saved if they had. My husband is on the spectrum and very similar to her husband. Because they are hyper logical beings, a good therapist has a way of breaking down the other persons needs that ‘clicks’ logically, without the emotions attached. I was also able to understand his way of thinking and how he processes his experiences. It’s worked wonders for us and was done prior to getting married. We have a beautiful marriage and great communication and understanding as a result. There is hope! I wish them both continued happiness 🙏🏾❤️
I hope they come back together again. This video is so Touchy for me personally… Every couple should exploit EVERY means to reconciliation eg Counseling, prayers and fasting , even trial separation (for self assessment and clarity not to date other people but to just figure things out and get help) before filing for Divorce except if your significant others have coconut head 😂😂and don’t want to reconcile. Love and Relationship is so Deep menh.
It's either I'm missing the key points to the story or the story that's being told is missing pieces. If she claimed they were aware of each others specific characteristics, they didn't "know themselves" internally, then where was the line drawn to take a few steps back and reconsider whether or not marriage is the best idea ? If there were signs of two individuals that weren't compatible prior to taking the next step together then the union was over before it started.
I think it's because, sometimes when you are in love you choose to overlook the signs that you aren't compatible, with the hopes that you'll manage to make things work because you just don't want to loose the person you love.
She did mention that they were already together when they got the diagnosis, she also mentioned that she thought it would get “better” she didn’t know enough about Asperger’s to make that decision.
My personal advice is before you get married be ready to fight for it, the same way you fight for your health,your finances and other things,some times we give up so soon,this generation is not ready for the sacrifices that come with marriage 🙏👍
I feel as though God lead me here. My husband and I are separated. He is in complete denial about being autistic with the co occurring disorder of ADHD. It's been a hard 2 years. I'm a mental health therapist, but he refuses to even go to get diagnosed. In his words "i dont receive it". I've lost 2 babies from stress last year, pregnant now and he just left after a falling out. It was lonely with him here, because of the emotional abandonment, but he prepared me, because I am alone now. We are both Believers and I am praying, but I actually feel like I have a break. I gave so much of myself, got us into counseling for neurodiverse marriages,(Dr. Stephanie Holmes (Christian) Mark Hutten-awesome youtube videos), but he wasn't consistent, because he won't accept it. I started reading the comments and was surprised to see another black woman going through the same thing. This is definitely something that is not understood/discussed in our community. God bless you, sis. It's a rough ride, but God.
I don't follow social media so I had no idea these guys split. I'm sad to hear that. I watched the whole video and yet I'm still unclear as to why they split. It sounds like she's trying to say there's a communication problem because one has adhd and the other is autistic? This isn't a reason to split. I'm confused. Message to all those who want a successful relationship. Relationships take WORK. People do grow and that can mean growing apart. But that doesn't seem the case here. In this case, it just seems like an unwillingness to do the work. People are who they are. They don't change massively. There is 'growth' but that's not quite the same thing. When you meet someone decide if you can live with them, flaws and all because that's what you'll be living with forever. Now if you do want to be with them, put in the work so that you can be the best possible versions of yourselves as can be. Yes, the diagnosis came later but the actions would have always been there. When you see you're not on the same page, you go to therapy, you read books, you speak to other married couples and do the work to learn the tools to communicate and grow together. Now if he was unwilling to do that, that would be a different story. But mistreatment wasn't mentioned and it was said he was always trying to make her happy so it sounds like he was willing. I have C-PTSD. My other half and I are completely opposite and had opposite lives, plus survived the loss of our child. So I completely get how hard it can be. It's not easy, but it's completely doable and tbh I've loved doing it. To me it sounds like the bigger problem is that they got together as kids and as she said, didn't know themselves and therefore as she's gotten older, she's realised that she's not willing to be with someone who is logical/autistic, it's more work than she realised. I can only put that down to being young why she didn't realise that long before. Plus not working on her own trauma too. I think the immaturity you have when young makes it's quite difficult getting married to your childhood sweetheart. That was stacked against them. But if she's given us the full story because as I said it wasn't really all the way clear what the issue was, the relationship seems salvageable if she wants to work for it. Either way, I wish you both the best whatever you decide to do and it was great hearing you speak about neurological health and not keeping these things taboo. I'm glad you're co-parenting well.
No, what you should say is, I've been "diagnosed "with whatever the ailment is but then speak the truth regarding the situation. Proverbs 23:7. I was told my son would have asthma all his life, but his dad and I prayed and spoke the word. He hasn't had an attack since he was 5; he's 36 now! Halleluyah 🏃♀️ 👏🏽 🙌🏾
I think my story is something similar. I got really tired and we didn't try the "right method" in saving our marriage. My ex husband got remarried right after our divorce became final and I am just learning about myself. I did therapy and now I am in a happy place. My ex wants me back however that door is close and the key is flush down the toilet. I often wish him the very best and hope his marriage works. I needed to fix myself before I can be whole for someone else son.
Interesting story you needed to do work on self and you didn’t know yourself while you was married but then you did therapy and your in a better place, now your x wants you back but that door is closed, but why would you keep that door closed when you wasn’t the better version of yourself for him as you’ve said you didn’t know yourself your learning about yourself. Maybe your both just was not ready for each other now your whole why not try again, now that your know yourself
@@willogrey6041 neither did she like I said they both wasn’t ready stop making it about men all the time when clearly women mess up and make a lot of mistakes and don’t know themselves, take accountability stop being typical
@@glecservices3114the door is closed because he’s currently married. Maybe they could’ve tried again, but he remarried. Do you expect her to entertain a man who has a wife?
I don't know what to say but I'm really glad I watched this because I always thought I could deal with a logical person but I literally can't. There's nothing wrong with those types of people BTW but I have a lot of emotions omw
Marriage is hard work Period. Nowadays people only want the good and pretty parts of marriage and none of the hard stuff so they quickly decide to walk away but that’s what marriage is. I’m 41 been married 19 years. Behind the beautiful facade there is years of pain, joy, sorrow, love and through it all we battled through because staying together is a choice we make each and every day.
Yes you’re staying together because nothing has happened for you to leave. When it does then you will walk. It’s a very simple concept, be happy that you don’t have to go through that instead of this condescending tone deaf “back in the days” comment.
@@michellegove she been married almost two decades and you think her marriage is a Disney movie or she’s living in the fifties … because she’s deciding to stay married .. isn’t that the whole point … that’s what marriage is … that’s what unconditional love is .. it’s not I love you today bye tomorrow.. now I’m not discrediting what Casey is going through but she didn’t know what it was going to entail .. getting married isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of a whole new life. And hopefully you have a partner that will be there for you in the times of confusion.
I really respect Cassie's honesty and the ability to narrate the story while being respectful to her ex. I think people are not fully aware of what marriage is because people are just not honest. It looks like it can be very challenging with the right person and a horror story with the wrong one. I just pray for continued healing and happiness for her and all women experiencing hardships in relationship it's not easy. God bless
What makes a great interview is when the interviewer asks questions the viewers are thinking of and is able to make the guest speak on those matters. This was a wonderful interview! I don’t know her or her story. But while she was speaking I had questions, and on the beat like she read my mind asked those questions. The interviewee answered them to a T! I leave with no questions. A lovely interview! Good job
@cassie1x is so well spoken. She talks about her husband with respect. Not once did she insult/speak ill of him. I pray God sees her through this healing journey and give her the peace and happiness she deserves.
Any one looking to marry ; only marry some one when you are willing to love their un known and imperfect self . Marriage is not me and what I can’t live with ….Marriage is I chose to marry this person , I will love them when it’s hard. Two strangers is going to somehow crash at some point ….Loving some one is sticking Wch is all hard for mankind
This video is necessary. Having ADHD myself, I lowkey avoid relationships due to the fear of not having an understanding or patient partner. The respect/love Cassie & her ex-spouse still share is glorious.This ep. offered hope that there can and will be people who will take that time to nurture a bond beyond the internal struggles, genuinely. Maybe it will be a season - but it could still be beautiful. As Cassie said it: "Life is so short, do you really learn to live with something that is clearly affecting you? (I can't.)" #representation
There's love out there for everyone. You will find it. I have c-ptsd. I'm a whole ass struggle. Lol. My dude loves me anyway. (side note, I do all the stuff I'm supposed to with my c-ptsd to try to be the best I can). There are understanding people out there. Love is coming your way.
@@MsJaide Thank you for this, you don't know how much I appreciate it.💜 I really needed this affirmation. I'm also 25 so I probably should simmer down lol but yes, the world is expansive so our people await✨️. *holds hope until then*
This is why we as people need to take time to get know ourselves in our single season. What I mean is that during that season take time to clear out any bad habits and get healing from your past issues. However, I do understand that people may be blind to their issues because we are conditioned to think that life get better without dealing with our mental health issues. However, this does not mean that a marriage will workout if you do this because in reality the deep cleaning of our souls with God is just to benefit ourselves first. In addition, we need to bring more mental health awareness in our minority communities to help people recongize disorders; along with helping them live and cope with it in a healthy way.
This is so heartbreaking, I’m just now finding out about their divorce. I really can’t believe it . I don’t even comment on UA-cam video, but one question is do people really expect people to be perfect in all expects ??? She keeps saying yes we loved each other , but…. I feel like in life there’s always going to be the “but”. No one is perfect. We all have our differences,… this is so sad I can’t believe they’re not together anymore
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday and I have to say both of your insights, especially Cassandra’s are ones that I can relate to. It is comforting to see her be so honest about her breakup about things we all have experienced in relationships as women. It hit me when she said that because life is so short why should she learn to live with certain things she doesn’t like? Thank you for this video and for giving me the comfort I needed during a difficult time. Lots of love to you both ❤️
As someone who loves social media & a micro-influencer, this is a lesson for all. You can share without oversharing, idolizing relationships. A lot of the materialism- big ring, displays, engagement extravaganza, over-the-top weddings, bridal train showmanship, date night displays, bedroom posts, baecation shows is motivated by social media virality. Bey and JayZ had a private wedding for reasons. Review your intentions for posting....Its important to take a fast when it starts to absorb your life. I'm a firm believer in keeping your relationship private, marriage. Be careful what you put out & moderate your motivations. I wanna go viral for the sake of the gospel.
Amen amen. When it’s ALL for show it’s often so superficial, nothing deep and sustaining. Motives matter! God is not into all this foolery with social media. Not EVERY single thing needs to be posted. I’m with you, marriage is personal and many things in it and about it should be too. That’s why the Bible says “the two become one” Key word “two” not “everybody.”
I planned on having just this play in the background while cleaning but I was glued to my laptop screen. It is not an easy decision to get divorced and I deeply respect you discussing ADHD and being on the spectrum. This conversation was/is needed.
Watch Kingsley Okonkwo and Mildred Kingsley Okonkwo on UA-cam they talk about how to do marriage, the standards females and males should have. They teach about the difference between males and females to better understand how each would act or react to things and they are funny and completely changed and opened my perspective about what love is about and what marriage is About. Definitely watch them on Yt no need to than me x
@@Justlovinglyfe Awhh that’s really good, I love love and so happy for you! I’m single & so glad I found out about them & channels like Breeny because it sets me up for what to expect from myself to start working on and to expect & allow near me. Knowledge is so powerful and learning from people with experience, are the best teachers.
Yeahh i started watching his channel not more than a month ago and I’ve fully watched his sermons. He’s the only preacher I’ve watched until the end. He’s very good!
These things happen in a marriage even without one partner with ADHD and another on the spectrum. It should be said that any marriage will have difficulties coming from differing characteristics as different individuals. Just for the benefit of anyone watching with a diagnosis. In this particular situation with Cass , she is more so saying the problems were due to not knowing and trying to make sense of it all. If you already know then you've got that self awareness to pinpoint the issue an tackle it as it arises. I think she said address it straight away
Loved this. The reality you spoke about Cass. Touched the soul differently. Thank you for this video I feel like therapy is much needed for everyone to get past trauma and allows you grow as a person. Breeny this one 👏🏾 well done and I hope everyone gets to see what you’ve chosen to share on your channel 💜
They were so young when they got together… I’m 28 and looking back at when I was 19/20. SUCH a different person. Not sure how I would’ve been in a relationship with someone from then until now when I barely understood the relationship with myself & God until now. I really wish they would’ve worked things out as God hates divorce. Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching & I learned a few things. I wish them well x
I love how realistic and eye opening this interview is. I pray for your healing Cassie, thank you for being transparent and honest with us. This is a good reminder that social media isn't realistic, it only shows the highs and wins.
I feel like cassandra and her hubby will get back together. I hope so anyways. God be with you both and be your guidance. You should both do what makes you happy not others xx
What I gathered from this is how important it is to find yourself , heal your trauma, and be 100% stable in every way in yourself before you get in a relationship.
Hi! I think this is a great initiative, Breeny! Thank you to both ladies. I was really inspired and touched by your vulnerability. I am late diagnosed on the ADHD spectrum, and it was very hard to speak on it. Mostly because there are so many people that relate to the symptoms without having the diagnosis, so the gaslighting is real. However, we need to open up more about this topic in the black and Christian community!
This interview was good definitely genuine and sincere. Some Christians do think you just stay until physical death, but what if death happens mentally, spiritually, emotionally, sexually, then what. Both people have to want to be married or it’s killing the other person. Glad they got an assessment to understand each and themselves better. Knowledge is power bc now you can move ahead with wise direction.
I can relate … I was with someone for4+ years… got engaged… our engagement went viral . Shade room and all… then we got married and it didn’t even last a year. In lue of everything, he is now successful in his career and pretty much famous internationally Al over social media . In the process of everything it was hard because I was scrutinized a lot by him & his family , and the whole community around us found out about it . Trying to make me look bad. It was a lot . 3 years later I’m still healing … it’s very painful …
I wish I could reach out and give Cassie a huge hug. As a divorcé who was in a very long relationship with a high achieving black man on the spectrum (undiagnosed); it quickly becomes traumatising and can completely ruin you mentally and destroy your life. You CANNOT change them and they will NOT improve genuinely!! I applaud her for being brave enough to get out of the relationship before it was too late. I also had children with ex but I'm now in my happily ever after with a wonderful mature and emotionally intelligent high achieving man. Life goes on dear. Thanks for sharing your story Cassie... Would be great to have a video on neuro-diversity and black relationships, especially Asperger's syndrome.
I think that we are in love with the idea of WEDDING (partying, posting on IG) but not the MARRIAGE (sacrificing, understanding, compromising). This testimony was powerful and raw, ppl think we have to have problems to go to therapy but counselling on a regular can be preventive. Loved the empowerment, vulnerability and how she said she's learning to lean on God again :)
I feel like theres also an imbalance in marriage, most women i feel, do more in the marriage than the men
I was listening to a podcast where a man was saying how he just entered a new relationship and one of the first things he suggested to the woman he was seeing was couples therapy.
Not because there's something wrong, but because he wants to understand the best way they can communicate with each other.
Gifts are sexy, but damn.. That's truly hot.
Relationships only work if we do the work
@@purplelove3666 I've been married so I would not know but I think it's defo a lot more work than we imagine
@@IevaKambarovaite love it let's not wait for problems to come 💯
@@IevaKambarovaite THIS!
HEY MY LOVES
SO EXCITED TO SHARE THIS INTIMATE CONVERSATION WITH YOU ALL, ALL I ASK FOR IS COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING, LETS SEND LOVE AND POSITIVE ENERGY TO CASS AND EVERYONE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE OR SEPARATION. LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND AND NOT TO JUDGE ♥️
Wait I can't believe I didn't realise they got divorced. I pray she continues to heal and grow in love. May she continue to be surrounding by genuine friends like you. God is always in control.
Breeny you look Gwwoood!!
I used to watched them on YT. I didn't know they got divorced.
@@raphaellanganthe2119 both ladies look good!
@@TheNiloticEmpress truee :)
Unrelated but Breeny’s facial structure 👀👀 ethereal
Exactly! She's absolutely gorgeous😥
I went through a lot of financial crisis during my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college..
I'm a single dad. Not quite long I started investing. I'm very curious and need help on how to enhance and increase my returns. Any good investment tips would be appreciated..
@@eadad4371 Generally, investing requires higher knowledge. For this reason, It's important to have a solid support structure (financial consultant) to guide you through especially in asset picking. I operate with (Regina Louise Collaro) an investment advisor who partners with a licensed wealth management firm. For the record, the experience has been the best for my finance.She is quite popular for her services so you might have heard of her.
She made me financially stable investing through her help, now I earn on a monthly basis through her passive income strategy... So I’ll advise you do get a good Investment advisor for yourself.
@@stephaniefythm That’s great , your investment advisor must be really good,I have seen testimonies of people using the help of investment advisors in making them more financial stable. Do you mind sharing more info on this person?
@@eadad4371 look her up on the internet and leave her a message she's quite popular for her services as she was recently featured on cnn. She can work with anyone irrespective of where their located
@@stephaniefythm You are right, I am one of many who has benefited from investing with Regina Louise Collaro. 2020 is an unforgettable year in my life, back then I lost my job due to covid ,got divorced and had no reason to live. Regina made a good life possible for me through passive income and I owe her my life. To be honest, I feel like she is an angel of who was sent to help those who are suffering financially.
That thing about Christians saying you’re “speaking negativity over your life” is called toxic positivity. To work on something you need to acknowledge it & not dismiss it.
Definitely too much positive toxicity.
Even in the bible, the woman at the well had to acknowledge that she had many husbands before God could heal her. In order for God to heal you fully, you have to fully open yourself up to God and be honest about who you are (that’s why God said come to me as you are)
Amen
YESSSSSS
Ok, but Breeny has the most gorgeous side profile ✨❤️🔥
Yooo I was about to comment the exact same thing!! 💖
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT. I could NEVER she looks like a legit doll
Thank you guys ♥️
Yes she’s snatched!! 😍
Like seriously, I keep getting distracted by her side profile 😩
I'm just coming off fresh from a breakup, to the point I was spiraling out of control as I wasn't coping well with it at all! Then I came across a TikTok of someone announcing Cass and Karl's break up and I was so shocked at first thinking nahhhh, why what happened they were perfect for each other etc etc
after watching this I have such a new perspective on views of relationships and just want to THANK YOU both for this video but mainly you Cass for speaking your truth and you'll properly never read this but your video has really helped me to be able to accept this breakup and knowing that its okay to still be friends and start again so THANK YOU and God bless
can we just appreciate how Breeny bee lookin like Bratz doll! on fleek
As a divorcee, with a #relationshipgoals external appearance, I really feel this. Three of my friends died in 4 years and it reminded me that life was too short to endure mistreatment.
Hallelujah
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Wow. Condolences. You are so right!
Sending you love and a prayer 🙏🏾
Amen. I recently divorce my husband. I got my ah ha moment last year. Once my dad passed unexpectedly, I knew life too short to waste on people who isn't meant for me.
A beautiful wedding doesn't equal a successful marriage. So much happens after the wedding. They had a beautiful wedding and then got divorced. Why are we shaming or attacking people for their lives? So weird.
Because a lot of ppl are demonic
Because it's exactly as Cassie said. People will project their dream life onto you and make you relationship goal even tho you never claimed to be, and put the blame on you when their bubble bursts.
My ex-husband and I were "relationship goals" we had a beautiful wedding, and it ended a month later because he was abusing me behind closed doors. The optics of a relationship mean NOTHING, and what goes on behind the scenes is what really matters.
@@smartypantspod that's sad. I'm glad you got out of that relationship.
@@MsJaide Thank you! It ended up being a valuable experience, I learned a lot and my life is so much better now
Nooo I didn’t know they got divorced. This was probably one of the first weddings I ever watched on UA-cam
SAME MY MOUTH JUST DROPPED
The same I watched their wedding so many times and cried
This was my exact reaction 🥺😭
Same
Same 🥺🥺
As a man I’ve listened to this and I agree with some things and disagree with others.
In general men are logical in nature and women are emotional in nature.
I don’t think people really understand the true nature of what’s involved when it comes to relationships and especially marriage. Those vows are for better for worse, richer poorer and sickness and in health.
If both parties are prepared to identify their own issues (which it seems they are) and work on themselves then there’s no reason not to stick it out.
The grass may seem greener else where but we all have issues and marriage is a commitment to work through your issues together.
I also think we as a generation have been sheltered from the problems that our parents encountered. If we actually sit down with the older generation and ask them what they encountered in their marriages etc you will really hear some stories.
Social media has made perfection seem achievable and we never get to see what goes on behind people highlight reels.
@The Many Phases Tarot yh I hear what you are saying about some relationships/friendships not meant to be forever, but marriage is a different type of commitment especially as she said she's a Christian so it's not just about the marriage but the covenant made with God. Ofcourse I can't judge because even after this only they will truly know the depths of their problems, but she did say that it happened very quickly. Sometimes, (maybe not this case) but people jump to snap decisions as if they expected to not have bad days.
P. S this does not include relationships with abuse.
Very well said! Its amazing how vulnerable and open this lady has been in this video, so many lessons to learn from her. It's so sad she felt she didn't explore EVERY avenue (including proffesional help) to treat their the issues before coming to the decision to break their convenant before God (since they are Christians). I fear her conclusion at 42:36 is all some people will leave this coversation with, as marital commitments are seemingly becoming more trivial. Barring partner abuse and adultry, EVERY avenue to tackle marital issues should be explored, ESPECIALLY if a child is involved. I do wish these two the very best in their futures as they navigate throught it.
I agree, but we aren’t allowed to disagree with people without it being called hate 🙄😌
I support this comment, you made a great point we've been truly sheltered from reality,so when we are faced with stumbling blocks we run . We don't step over them,knowing that this too shall pass.
It is the elders responsibility to pass down knowledge and wisdom. They have not been doing that for decades.
Thank you beautiful for shedding light on the journey of healing!Your friend was supportive!!
💕💕💕 It's good you released what will help others in the right timing. I know it will be appreciated by those who have found newfound hope! 🕊🤗💕
It’s great that Casey and Carl are able to put their differences aside and focus on the co-parenting.
Relationships are challenging , break ups are complicated especially when there is a child involved.
When I left my child’s father 5 years ago I felt ashamed that it didn’t work out.
He also has another child from a previous relationship.
When our daughter was 2 years old he moved to another country. He called it a ‘fresh start’
Anyway…. I just get on with it and try to be the best I can be for myself and my child.
Thanks for this video Breeny. x
@@Angel-vw1he This is so true
Breeny’s side profile is everythinggggg 😍😍😍
The comment I was looking for🥰. Glad I wasn't the only one that noticed that❤. Her facial structure from the side is so beautiful and gorgeous ❤❤❤❤❤.
@@mmadiliilozumba1896 absolutely!
Issues in a relationship will only magnify within a marriage.
Marriage is not a fairy tale fantasy and should only be entered with maturity and selflessness in mind because marriage will have its challenges.
Marriage will humble you oh!
@@TutuLolaAboh true
@@TutuLolaAboh Facts!
She never said she thought it was a fairy tale
@@NoName-sp5dp i didn't say she did, did I? I'm giving MY opinion on what i think a lot of young people imagine about marriage
I’m still confused about the root cause 🙁 I don’t want to be judgmental or insensitive to the reason given, but from what I hear it’s two people who got together while they were very young, and didn’t know one another well, got married and realized they weren’t compatible.
as well as while they both are dealing with neurological disorders that are the extreme opposite of each other which caused issues with the way they communicated and outlook on things etc.
yesssss I'm here lost as well... This interview is all over the place. They were young unequally yoked and rushed marriage. That's it an thats all
@@Thrivegrl24 Yeah, so they didn't know each other well.
@@babycakessmith8549 I wouldn’t quite say they rushed because they were together for 9+ years before getting married.
@@jlove3371 yea I know but they were kids and young. So they didn't experience much...an I maybe wrong but it may have been rushed to have sex because she or they were abstaining and like breeny said it isn't easy. My only thing is I was waiting for the valid reason why they're getting a divorce. But to each his own. I wish both parties love and light.
Hey! ladies this was like a therapy sessions u did what was best. Married 9yrs, divorced four months it feels like u are grieving a death. You have a rollercostal ride of emotions, loneliness, it sucks. Force to reevaluate ME I had to go deep and fine out what should I have done to take care of me, because had I, I never would have married. Lesson are beautiful
Marriage counseling should be required, thats all I have to say. Sort out your differences before marriage or postpone until you have laid everything out. Issues will not magically disappear after marriage it will only amplify.
@Emmanuella Anyim that’s not what she said tho. Postpone until there is an understanding of your difference that will help you navigate other Future issues.
I think it’s great that she’s honest to talk about ADHD in the black community or African community it’s taboo over looked and never addressed
What is ADHD?🤔
Wow just started the video and recently discovered I have ADHD. Very interested in how this ties in to her relationship...
@@zoebarbie I’ve only just realized ADHD affects everything in your life including relationships
The issues are many but what we don’t do is take accountability for there growth and development, and a lot of the time people jump into relationships without first addressing there internal demons and self awareness, love is enough when you do the self work and work on character, therapy is needed by many and god needs to be in the relationship and even his spirit inside of people
It’s almost demonic to even say that we’re depressed… that’s why many of our teenagers are into gangs because they don’t feel heard
With love, it should be clarified that ADHD is NOT on the Autism spectrum. There are similarities, but they are NOT the same and are NOT on a singular spectrum. Mental health conditions and diagnoses can be complicated so it's easy to make mistakes. For the benefit of everyone, I think it's important that we recognise misinformation kindly and move forward with humility, keeping the corrections in mind.
Thank you! I literally just commented this and checked to see if anyone else had noticed. However, autism spectrum disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are actually classed as neuro-developmental disorders/conditions.
With love as well, God be with you.
I don’t believe Cassie was saying ADHD is on the autism spectrum. She said Karl is autistic and I think she’s just contrasting that her ADHD and his autism is essentially ‘opposites’ of each other, but not on the same spectrum. She mentioned multiple times that ‘Karl is on the spectrum’, she didn’t say they both were.
@@mercyo9073 from 11:15- “Karl is on the spectrum... I’m also on the spectrum but on the other end”. Even if she meant a “spectrum of neuro-developmental disorders” it would still be misinformation as there is no spectrum for that. Often times, you will find that people have more than one actually. Some people even have both autism and ADHD, the conditions are not opposites of each other. I commented to make it extra clear. All the best!
@@SD-wf9xq Well maybe it's time that we challenge the spectrum theory. Hopefully more research will be done to fully understand ADHD
I sometimes wonder if all these autism diagnosis’ are actually genuine or if big pharmaceutical companies are simply out to medicate healthy people.
As someone who has dealt with a bf with bipolar disorder, dealing with people with mental illness on top of your own issues, can be emotionally draining, mentally exhausting, and complete emotional burnout that leaves you suffering with anxiety, sleep disturbances, lack of appetite and lack of interest in things you enjoy which leads to depression. Life is too short to live suffering like that.
Relationships don’t have a formula. Therapy is important in marriage. Thank you for highlighting that🙏🏾❤️
Divorce is harder on women because society tends to put more of the onus on women to work out relationships, but it's not our responsibility, it's two sided. It saddens me how sometimes Christians can be the first ones to shame you during tough times, instead of embracing and encouraging you in the faith.
Breeny, I love this interview and I absolutely love your channel. I wanted to share a bit of my story with hopes that maybe you’d consider an interview with a small UA-camr on your channel.
My husband and I started dating in high school, I was 17 years old. When we got engaged I was celibate and people often referred to my relationship as “goals” or a fairy tale” although I never subscribed to that narrative. We were a normal working class family, never went viral, just normal people trying to make life work. After being in a relationship for about 17 years, 8.5 years of marriage and 2 children later our relationship grew extremely toxic and I filed for divorce. We tried marriage counseling to no avail, I moved out, I was absolutely over it and ready to move on with my life. I started my own personal healing journey including going to therapy in hopes to heal my broken heart and prepare for whatever man the Universe had for my future. Your channel helped me tremendously during my healing!! I continued my healing journey and was ready to finalize my divorce when I decided to start communicating with my ex in a healthier way, we were all of a sudden listening to each other…differently. Fast forward, while I was healing and leveling up my mentality, he was doing the same, we were finally speaking the same language again.
The dichotomy of our relationship took a sudden turn and we are back together and will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this year after.
I love the message that you’re giving to women, teaching us things we didn’t learn as young girls, empowering us to be the best versions of ourselves and not accepting anything less than. I would love for your audience to hear a different aspect of the spectrum, because there is still hope.
I’ve been on a hiatus from social media because I’m literally enjoying being present in my own reality but lately I’ve been so extremely passionate about the growth and development that my season of separation has taught me and I want to share my story with the world and help women like you are. I’ve been preparing to relaunch my YT channel and share my voice story but I would absolutely love to partner with you if you will have me. I am manifesting that this comment gets enough likes for you to see it. If I don’t get the opportunity to work with you I want you to know you have been a huge part of my journey and I cannot be more grateful.
Kind regards,
Concetta Harris
Ctpurnell@gmail.com
IG theConcettashow
Thank you for sharing
@@zippyblessed839 no problem
Wow that's a great story!
@@MsJaide thanks hun 💛
wow amazing. Great testimony. i want all divorces to turn to this(your story)
iam just hearing about Cassie and Karls divorce and iam heartbroken to say the least.
Compatibility is underrated
I really love this interview. I still feel Cassie is going through a lot of hurt from losing her mum, her past and coming to terms with everything she’s going through. Things like this can really impact a relationship and it may not necessarily mean you guys weren’t compatible or were not meant for each other. The timing of everything may not have been right, I feel sometimes people jump into marriages without working on themselves first and going through deep healing. Working through a marriage just after losing someone so dear to you is a lot! You can have the perfect person but if you’re still battling with your own demons, things become difficult and a strain to the relationship. I really hope you guys take the time to work on yourselves and heal from the pain of situations you’ve gone through from childhood. You guys are both incredibly talented people and I hope things end up working out! Cassie, you’re not a failure because things didn’t work out. You’ve been through a lot and you deserve every good thing the world could offer! - Also to add on the struggles of motherhood, being a new mum etc!
She is … go check out some of her previous UA-cam videos with her ex husband it will have u filling some type away .
This was so open. I admire Cass for sharing her story. Definitely a lot of things to be aware of when two people come together.
Adhd and Autism is two different things. I used to work as a secondary school teacher years ago in a Autistic school I also have a brother who has ADHD and has been diagnosed at the age of 29. You have to be diagnosed by a doctor and medical team including psychologist which will be on ur medical records... Plus most people medically diagnosed are on medication for this. It's very simple most marriages aren't compatible.. most relationship aren't compatible... It doesn't have to be a huge thing that causes the break up or marriage to end... It could be the smallest thing...becos when ur not compatible ur not compatible doesn't matter how much you package the marriage one day it will collapse. Compatibility is the BIGGEST thing to ensure from DAY one if u don't get that right.... Omo forget it... One day it will collapse. Alot or marriages ended in 2020 especially between the young adults. Very sad..... The pandemic did more than just COVID but for some this may be a blessing in disguise.
You’re so right. But it’s hard to understand incompatibility when the couple were friends. Friendship in itself is a form of relationship so how can you be friends with someone you’re not compatible with?! It can be complicated..
@@Baabidishie I think we can still be friends, but to enter into a marital covenant is a whole different ball game. That is where we really need the intervention of God, 'compatibility' counselling to know whether we have the right foundation to build a marriage.
@@Baabidishie I have DEFINITELY been friends with alot of people I was not compatible with ... Becos ALOT of friendships are based on sentiment.... Oh we been friends since secondary school and now we're 31... Yeah but from secondary school ur brain has developed, your not the same person... You have matured mentally and biologically so maybe when we we're 12 we we're initially compatible but now we're both 30 we're not cos we are different people but guess what.... We won't end the friendship due to sentiment. This happened to me with many of my childhood friends and in 2020 I cut every single one of them off cos I had to accept that we just weren't compatible anymore and I had to stop viewing the friendship from the 12 year of self and now from my 31 year old self.
Connections & chemistry can overcome compatibility issues, if both parties are willing to work with each other🖤
Everyone preaches compatibility (incl myself) until I learned compatibility is momentary. They were friends and met at church. At some point they were compatible until they started growing and understanding themselves more. Who you are compatible with at 25 might not be the same at 30. Relationships take hard work. However, ending a relationship is also fine
I pray in this season Karl n Cassie will hear from God & I speak healing.
Unrelated to the topic but..
You are absolutely gorgeous sis Breeny 💖!!
Thank you 😊
@@BreenyLee 😍 , I hope someday you make a make up tutorial video 🙏🏾 I would love to see your routine !
A relationship that's not private will not work! Too many evil eyes and ppl wishing bad upon you! Your relationships shouldn’t be for others to see on social media
I think everyone is thinking differently about their divorce going off of their own experiences. What you feel is trivial isn't trivial to another person. What truly is important is honoring what matters most to you in your own heart and mind. ❤
This was AMAZING & so necessary. After watching this I signed up for therapy sessions. I need it.. I need help.. No more running. Glory be to God! Thank you for your OBEDIENCE Breeny. Many people need to hear this types of conversations. 💜
Good for you ❤️
Great interview! I really wished they would have gone to therapy. I truly believe the marriage could have been saved if they had. My husband is on the spectrum and very similar to her husband. Because they are hyper logical beings, a good therapist has a way of breaking down the other persons needs that ‘clicks’ logically, without the emotions attached. I was also able to understand his way of thinking and how he processes his experiences. It’s worked wonders for us and was done prior to getting married. We have a beautiful marriage and great communication and understanding as a result. There is hope! I wish them both continued happiness 🙏🏾❤️
I hope they come back together again.
This video is so Touchy for me personally… Every couple should exploit EVERY means to reconciliation eg Counseling, prayers and fasting , even trial separation (for self assessment and clarity not to date other people but to just figure things out and get help) before filing for Divorce except if your significant others have coconut head 😂😂and don’t want to reconcile.
Love and Relationship is so Deep menh.
It's either I'm missing the key points to the story or the story that's being told is missing pieces. If she claimed they were aware of each others specific characteristics, they didn't "know themselves" internally, then where was the line drawn to take a few steps back and reconsider whether or not marriage is the best idea ? If there were signs of two individuals that weren't compatible prior to taking the next step together then the union was over before it started.
I think it's because, sometimes when you are in love you choose to overlook the signs that you aren't compatible, with the hopes that you'll manage to make things work because you just don't want to loose the person you love.
She did mention that they were already together when they got the diagnosis, she also mentioned that she thought it would get “better” she didn’t know enough about Asperger’s to make that decision.
@@dothodzomasole7956 Well said.
I know alot of people don't like to hear this but please guys keep you relationships off social media!!! Some things should just stay private
Studies say: Bigger wedding, quicker divorce. Sad truth
Yh no lie they started the viral wedding thing! They got me watching wedding videos constantly
Breeny you are glowing lately!
❤️ amen to therapy, THERAPY! And the right therapist too
My personal advice is before you get married be ready to fight for it, the same way you fight for your health,your finances and other things,some times we give up so soon,this generation is not ready for the sacrifices that come with marriage 🙏👍
This is the best advice
Love this video and this is so off-topic but Breeny is literally GLOWING OMG she looks absolutely amazing wow!!!!
I feel as though God lead me here. My husband and I are separated. He is in complete denial about being autistic with the co occurring disorder of ADHD. It's been a hard 2 years. I'm a mental health therapist, but he refuses to even go to get diagnosed. In his words "i dont receive it". I've lost 2 babies from stress last year, pregnant now and he just left after a falling out. It was lonely with him here, because of the emotional abandonment, but he prepared me, because I am alone now. We are both Believers and I am praying, but I actually feel like I have a break. I gave so much of myself, got us into counseling for neurodiverse marriages,(Dr. Stephanie Holmes (Christian) Mark Hutten-awesome youtube videos), but he wasn't consistent, because he won't accept it. I started reading the comments and was surprised to see another black woman going through the same thing. This is definitely something that is not understood/discussed in our community. God bless you, sis. It's a rough ride, but God.
I don't follow social media so I had no idea these guys split. I'm sad to hear that.
I watched the whole video and yet I'm still unclear as to why they split. It sounds like she's trying to say there's a communication problem because one has adhd and the other is autistic? This isn't a reason to split. I'm confused.
Message to all those who want a successful relationship. Relationships take WORK. People do grow and that can mean growing apart. But that doesn't seem the case here. In this case, it just seems like an unwillingness to do the work.
People are who they are. They don't change massively. There is 'growth' but that's not quite the same thing. When you meet someone decide if you can live with them, flaws and all because that's what you'll be living with forever. Now if you do want to be with them, put in the work so that you can be the best possible versions of yourselves as can be.
Yes, the diagnosis came later but the actions would have always been there. When you see you're not on the same page, you go to therapy, you read books, you speak to other married couples and do the work to learn the tools to communicate and grow together. Now if he was unwilling to do that, that would be a different story. But mistreatment wasn't mentioned and it was said he was always trying to make her happy so it sounds like he was willing.
I have C-PTSD. My other half and I are completely opposite and had opposite lives, plus survived the loss of our child. So I completely get how hard it can be. It's not easy, but it's completely doable and tbh I've loved doing it.
To me it sounds like the bigger problem is that they got together as kids and as she said, didn't know themselves and therefore as she's gotten older, she's realised that she's not willing to be with someone who is logical/autistic, it's more work than she realised. I can only put that down to being young why she didn't realise that long before. Plus not working on her own trauma too. I think the immaturity you have when young makes it's quite difficult getting married to your childhood sweetheart. That was stacked against them.
But if she's given us the full story because as I said it wasn't really all the way clear what the issue was, the relationship seems salvageable if she wants to work for it.
Either way, I wish you both the best whatever you decide to do and it was great hearing you speak about neurological health and not keeping these things taboo. I'm glad you're co-parenting well.
No, what you should say is, I've been "diagnosed "with whatever the ailment is but then speak the truth regarding the situation. Proverbs 23:7. I was told my son would have asthma all his life, but his dad and I prayed and spoke the word. He hasn't had an attack since he was 5; he's 36 now! Halleluyah 🏃♀️ 👏🏽 🙌🏾
Breeny is so gorgeous 😍
Breeny you’re looking extra scrumptious these days 😍😍😍🥰
My goodness, these women are stunning!
No no I can't believe it..no wayyy..but I respect Cassie for opening up about this 💓
You guys look beautiful as always 🥰
I can’t get over how gorgeous you ladies are, I’m glad that you had a mature honest conversation
I think my story is something similar. I got really tired and we didn't try the "right method" in saving our marriage. My ex husband got remarried right after our divorce became final and I am just learning about myself. I did therapy and now I am in a happy place. My ex wants me back however that door is close and the key is flush down the toilet. I often wish him the very best and hope his marriage works. I needed to fix myself before I can be whole for someone else son.
Interesting story you needed to do work on self and you didn’t know yourself while you was married but then you did therapy and your in a better place, now your x wants you back but that door is closed, but why would you keep that door closed when you wasn’t the better version of yourself for him as you’ve said you didn’t know yourself your learning about yourself. Maybe your both just was not ready for each other now your whole why not try again, now that your know yourself
@@glecservices3114 He's married. He has a wandering eye. He lacks boundaries.
@@willogrey6041 neither did she like I said they both wasn’t ready stop making it about men all the time when clearly women mess up and make a lot of mistakes and don’t know themselves, take accountability stop being typical
@@glecservices3114the door is closed because he’s currently married. Maybe they could’ve tried again, but he remarried. Do you expect her to entertain a man who has a wife?
I don't know what to say but I'm really glad I watched this because I always thought I could deal with a logical person but I literally can't. There's nothing wrong with those types of people BTW but I have a lot of emotions omw
The comments here are so disappointing! And they’re from women. I don’t blame you all, you’ve not gone through a divorce.
Iiterally most is coming from women too🤦🏽♀️so disappointing
What particular comments? I’m going through and it seems people are commending her for opening up and encouraging her.
My first time hearing their divorce but I wish them all the best as they go their separate ways n hope it for their good.
Omg I have never heard such detailed story…. I’ve learnt soooooo much….Thanks soo much for sharing your story.
Marriage is hard work Period. Nowadays people only want the good and pretty parts of marriage and none of the hard stuff so they quickly decide to walk away but that’s what marriage is. I’m 41 been married 19 years. Behind the beautiful facade there is years of pain, joy, sorrow, love and through it all we battled through because staying together is a choice we make each and every day.
Thank you for being REAL about the trials and tribulations of marriage behind the family pictures
Thank you!!
Very good point....
Yes you’re staying together because nothing has happened for you to leave. When it does then you will walk. It’s a very simple concept, be happy that you don’t have to go through that instead of this condescending tone deaf “back in the days” comment.
@@michellegove she been married almost two decades and you think her marriage is a Disney movie or she’s living in the fifties … because she’s deciding to stay married .. isn’t that the whole point … that’s what marriage is … that’s what unconditional love is .. it’s not I love you today bye tomorrow.. now I’m not discrediting what Casey is going through but she didn’t know what it was going to entail .. getting married isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of a whole new life. And hopefully you have a partner that will be there for you in the times of confusion.
I really respect Cassie's honesty and the ability to narrate the story while being respectful to her ex. I think people are not fully aware of what marriage is because people are just not honest. It looks like it can be very challenging with the right person and a horror story with the wrong one. I just pray for continued healing and happiness for her and all women experiencing hardships in relationship it's not easy. God bless
Guys yall are beautiful.
Yooo I didn’t even know. Bless Cassie. You’ll be ok. You’ll be more than ok. You’ll be amazing xoxo
What makes a great interview is when the interviewer asks questions the viewers are thinking of and is able to make the guest speak on those matters. This was a wonderful interview! I don’t know her or her story. But while she was speaking I had questions, and on the beat like she read my mind asked those questions. The interviewee answered them to a T! I leave with no questions. A lovely interview! Good job
I’m trying to listen but I can’t stop looking at Breeny! She’s so beautiful!😍😍🥺🙌🏽
@cassie1x is so well spoken. She talks about her husband with respect. Not once did she insult/speak ill of him. I pray God sees her through this healing journey and give her the peace and happiness she deserves.
This was so good, idk why I find it so refreshing actually. I wish her all the best
You guys knew each other for 11 years.
Enough time to have known all these traits.
Any one looking to marry ; only marry some one when you are willing to love their un known and imperfect self .
Marriage is not me and what I can’t live with ….Marriage is I chose to marry this person , I will love them when it’s hard.
Two strangers is going to somehow crash at some point ….Loving some one is sticking
Wch is all hard for mankind
This video is necessary. Having ADHD myself, I lowkey avoid relationships due to the fear of not having an understanding or patient partner. The respect/love Cassie & her ex-spouse still share is glorious.This ep. offered hope that there can and will be people who will take that time to nurture a bond beyond the internal struggles, genuinely. Maybe it will be a season - but it could still be beautiful. As Cassie said it: "Life is so short, do you really learn to live with something that is clearly affecting you? (I can't.)" #representation
There's love out there for everyone. You will find it. I have c-ptsd. I'm a whole ass struggle. Lol. My dude loves me anyway. (side note, I do all the stuff I'm supposed to with my c-ptsd to try to be the best I can). There are understanding people out there. Love is coming your way.
@@MsJaide Thank you for this, you don't know how much I appreciate it.💜 I really needed this affirmation. I'm also 25 so I probably should simmer down lol but yes, the world is expansive so our people await✨️. *holds hope until then*
I avoid relationships too! I also self sabotage a lot. It’s difficult to deal with!
Y’all both are so freaking beautiful 🤩
This is why we as people need to take time to get know ourselves in our single season. What I mean is that during that season take time to clear out any bad habits and get healing from your past issues. However, I do understand that people may be blind to their issues because we are conditioned to think that life get better without dealing with our mental health issues. However, this does not mean that a marriage will workout if you do this because in reality the deep cleaning of our souls with God is just to benefit ourselves first. In addition, we need to bring more mental health awareness in our minority communities to help people recongize disorders; along with helping them live and cope with it in a healthy way.
They where so young
Bars! 💪🏾
Social media got people wanting weddings not marriage
I’m glad she spoke and so glad she was so transparent.
This is so heartbreaking, I’m just now finding out about their divorce. I really can’t believe it . I don’t even comment on UA-cam video, but one question is do people really expect people to be perfect in all expects ??? She keeps saying yes we loved each other , but…. I feel like in life there’s always going to be the “but”. No one is perfect. We all have our differences,… this is so sad I can’t believe they’re not together anymore
Omg noooooo. I remember watching this wedding over and over
Correction: ADHD and autism are not the same condition, not to talk of on a spectrum.
Right and they are by no means excuses for divorce 🙄
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday and I have to say both of your insights, especially Cassandra’s are ones that I can relate to. It is comforting to see her be so honest about her breakup about things we all have experienced in relationships as women. It hit me when she said that because life is so short why should she learn to live with certain things she doesn’t like? Thank you for this video and for giving me the comfort I needed during a difficult time. Lots of love to you both ❤️
As someone who loves social media & a micro-influencer, this is a lesson for all. You can share without oversharing, idolizing relationships. A lot of the materialism- big ring, displays, engagement extravaganza, over-the-top weddings, bridal train showmanship, date night displays, bedroom posts, baecation shows is motivated by social media virality. Bey and JayZ had a private wedding for reasons. Review your intentions for posting....Its important to take a fast when it starts to absorb your life. I'm a firm believer in keeping your relationship private, marriage. Be careful what you put out & moderate your motivations. I wanna go viral for the sake of the gospel.
I love this.
@Emmanuella Anyim exactly, even Beyoncé’s private wedding didn’t save her from Jay’s cheating ways
Amen amen. When it’s ALL for show it’s often so superficial, nothing deep and sustaining. Motives matter! God is not into all this foolery with social media. Not EVERY single thing needs to be posted. I’m with you, marriage is personal and many things in it and about it should be too. That’s why the Bible says “the two become one” Key word “two” not “everybody.”
All of this!!!! Amen!!!! I agree 1000%. I am big on keeping a relationship private not secret.👏🏽👏🏽
100% Agreement
Not pleasant that you are separated I hope you find strength and thank you for sharing this is such an eye opener
I planned on having just this play in the background while cleaning but I was glued to my laptop screen. It is not an easy decision to get divorced and I deeply respect you discussing ADHD and being on the spectrum. This conversation was/is needed.
Ooh, this is a great topic Breeny Lee Life After Divorce. I am twice divorced! Thank You for these Gems in this video💎💎💎
Breeny’s interview skills are on point 👌🏾
Watch Kingsley Okonkwo and Mildred Kingsley Okonkwo on UA-cam they talk about how to do marriage, the standards females and males should have. They teach about the difference between males and females to better understand how each would act or react to things and they are funny and completely changed and opened my perspective about what love is about and what marriage is About. Definitely watch them on Yt no need to than me x
This!!!!!!!!!!
Yes pastor Kingsley has helped me alot in understanding how to navigate my relationship with my partner
@@FlourishingElla Girll your subscription list is almost identical to mine 😭 I know for a fact we would get along 👏🏾😂
@@Justlovinglyfe Awhh that’s really good, I love love and so happy for you! I’m single & so glad I found out about them & channels like Breeny because it sets me up for what to expect from myself to start working on and to expect & allow near me. Knowledge is so powerful and learning from people with experience, are the best teachers.
Yeahh i started watching his channel not more than a month ago and I’ve fully watched his sermons. He’s the only preacher I’ve watched until the end. He’s very good!
These things happen in a marriage even without one partner with ADHD and another on the spectrum. It should be said that any marriage will have difficulties coming from differing characteristics as different individuals. Just for the benefit of anyone watching with a diagnosis. In this particular situation with Cass , she is more so saying the problems were due to not knowing and trying to make sense of it all. If you already know then you've got that self awareness to pinpoint the issue an tackle it as it arises. I think she said address it straight away
Loved this. The reality you spoke about Cass. Touched the soul differently. Thank you for this video I feel like therapy is much needed for everyone to get past trauma and allows you grow as a person. Breeny this one 👏🏾 well done and I hope everyone gets to see what you’ve chosen to share on your channel 💜
They were so young when they got together… I’m 28 and looking back at when I was 19/20. SUCH a different person. Not sure how I would’ve been in a relationship with someone from then until now when I barely understood the relationship with myself & God until now. I really wish they would’ve worked things out as God hates divorce. Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching & I learned a few things. I wish them well x
I love how realistic and eye opening this interview is. I pray for your healing Cassie, thank you for being transparent and honest with us. This is a good reminder that social media isn't realistic, it only shows the highs and wins.
Breeny please never ever feel insecure about your looks ever again. You are absolutely stunning !!!! That hair is everything!!!
Cassandra girl, you are very mature and self reflective. This was a great conversation. Keep your head up, you will heal keep your faith. 🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲
Two beautiful queen, thanks for sharing with us!
So they were not aware of these neurological differences before the wedding? Before the engagement? I am confused.
I feel like cassandra and her hubby will get back together. I hope so anyways. God be with you both and be your guidance. You should both do what makes you happy not others xx
What I gathered from this is how important it is to find yourself , heal your trauma, and be 100% stable in every way in yourself before you get in a relationship.
Exactly!
I agree with you 100% as well
Ideed
What you’ve said!! 💯
10000%
Hi! I think this is a great initiative, Breeny! Thank you to both ladies. I was really inspired and touched by your vulnerability. I am late diagnosed on the ADHD spectrum, and it was very hard to speak on it. Mostly because there are so many people that relate to the symptoms without having the diagnosis, so the gaslighting is real. However, we need to open up more about this topic in the black and Christian community!
This interview was good definitely genuine and sincere. Some Christians do think you just stay until physical death, but what if death happens mentally, spiritually, emotionally, sexually, then what. Both people have to want to be married or it’s killing the other person. Glad they got an assessment to understand each and themselves better. Knowledge is power bc now you can move ahead with wise direction.
Cassie your make up is so stunning. What blush do you use?
This guest was so gracious in her assessment🥲... loved it....
I can relate … I was with someone for4+ years… got engaged… our engagement went viral . Shade room and all… then we got married and it didn’t even last a year. In lue of everything, he is now successful in his career and pretty much famous internationally Al over social media . In the process of everything it was hard because I was scrutinized a lot by him & his family , and the whole community around us found out about it . Trying to make me look bad. It was a lot . 3 years later I’m still healing … it’s very painful …
I’m sorry to hear that happened to you and I hope you heal fully and wholly. In this book of life, your best chapters are yet to come. Stay strong xx
I pray that your healing produces a superior testimony. Take the lessons & grow into a more beautiful version of you.
@@cupcake1065 May the lord bless you . Thank you so much ❤️🙏🏾🥺
@@modernwomanTv thank you so much . May God bless you 🥺❤️🙏🏾
@@aloelikevera1763 amen 💞💞
Compromising, sacrificing for each other is the name.
I wish I could reach out and give Cassie a huge hug. As a divorcé who was in a very long relationship with a high achieving black man on the spectrum (undiagnosed); it quickly becomes traumatising and can completely ruin you mentally and destroy your life. You CANNOT change them and they will NOT improve genuinely!! I applaud her for being brave enough to get out of the relationship before it was too late. I also had children with ex but I'm now in my happily ever after with a wonderful mature and emotionally intelligent high achieving man. Life goes on dear. Thanks for sharing your story Cassie... Would be great to have a video on neuro-diversity and black relationships, especially Asperger's syndrome.
I’m really sorry you had a bad experience, but this comment really paints men on the spectrum as impossible. It’s not always doom and gloom.
@@maryibironke7801 I'm talking about men on the spectrum that lack self awareness and are in denial.
Thank you for this! This notification came EXACTLY when I needed it! That is Gods work❤️