I agree 100 percent. I no longer have trouble protecting myself. I used to absolutely twist myself into a pretzel for others. It’s possible to change but it takes courage, practice and being ok with not doing it perfectly every time. Adopt a growth mindset about it and anybody can achieve mastery.
The negativity from the narc is just draining .Yet they project onto you that you are the negative one .Listen closely to their conversation ,they never compliment or thank you.
This is draining, it's constantly being on guard. You just want to be at peace and relax but their only goal in life is to take that away from you, so they wait till they catch you in a bad day to have you react and yell how fed up of them you are! 😤
Keep your distance. Physically and emotionally. I've had narcs in my life and after going no contact with them for years I got my peace back. There is a new narc in my life and I'm going to do the same thing again. Don't let them into your mental space.
I had friends who is always bossing me around making me do things that they wanted to do. So I turn it around and became a friend that is constantly asking for favors. I'll ask to borrow money, or to give me a ride somewhere in their car. To babysit my cat and even to pick something up for me on their way home. They got so annoyed with me that now they avoid me as much as possible. Without even realizing that they has given me peace and I have been able to do so many things that I wanted to do an accomplish so many goals without being interrupted by them. My tip is if they bug you then you annoy them and eventually they will go away and you'll enjoy your life with peace and quiet 😜👍
@@Fenrispro When it comes to family you tell them the truth. You tell them straight up that they are a nuisance to you. Then you let them choose if they want to cut you off or start showing you some respect and behave 🤗
@@AnitaBonita46If you tell them truth then they will be kind and respectful. There will be no toxic people in this world. Their problem is that they never accept the truth. They never change.
Stumbling upon Channels like these is one of the best things to ever happen to me. They are really helpful in helping me navigate and eventually, getting myself out of sooo many toxic dysfunctional relationships that I had unintentionally put myself in.
It’s so hard to detach when the toxic people are my parents. They have total control now and I am trying to get out soon but so tough. They want me in their life but I am ready to have other meaningful people instead of just family.
I'm your cheer section! Nothing makes me happier than someone stumbling onto a channel that helps lift them and advise them in this area, especially younger people. So, YAY!! 2 U.
@unitinharmony7546 this really gets much worse of its parents. You've normalized being abused and thts the intent. You live for their needs. The kids that went thru this are now easy targets as adults, then you have to repayment yourself. They don't see your value beyond how it helps/serves them. Once they're dead they don't care wht happens to you after that. Take care of you regardless of their anger and they'll trip themselves.
It's 1.20am in the UK and I so needed this! Got my 32 year old son living with me. In 2014 he was diagnosed with Aspergers. In July 2021 he came back to live with me. He hasn't spoken to his mother, my ex, since 2012. Earlier this year he was diagnosed with ADHD. But through this year he has become more narcissistic in his behaviour toward me. Thank you Stephanie for this. Helped me get a positive perspective tonight.
I tend to end up as a "trashcan" for toxic people... It's horrible, and i just fawn as a trauma response! But im going to take responsebility now! I have grown stronger and now i have the energy end spupportsystem i need to take this battle. Thank you for making theese videos ❤
I've been listening to you for years and all of your videos are spot on. It helped me thru and to overcome a difficult divorce a year and a half ago. Keep these messages coming Stephanie.. Thank you..
Great video Stephanie, this is the reason why I haven’t gotten divorced yet, my wife is needy and toxic and all her problems she blames on me instead of owning her lack of discipline and poor lifestyle choices. This video is what I might need to finally have the courage to go through this divorce because this relationship has given nothing but heartaches and disappointments for 12 years. I have to be courageous and fearless and know that everything is going to be ok and it’s ok to dive into the unknown and a new life.
What narcisists are doing has nothing to do with me! - repeating This mantra is very helpful and it is true! Abusive behaviour and hurtful words tell on the abuser and not the abused! Thank you.
Looking back if I could have done something different with my toxic ex, it would have been to not engage in the crazy arguments, it just fed her and drained me. Remain silent or walk away is my aim if i ever encounter this again.
I have the tribulation of living with these types of people. Sometimes you just need to ignore their comments, try your best to minimize your interaction with them, and have your own space. Also, prayer if you are a person of faith.
Work slowly towards getting away from them. Build your escape route daily and go when the time is right for you to free yourself. Stay positive never give up❤
I have a toxic sister. She has badmouthed me in the past to other people. She is now homeless, has 4 dogs that she won't get rid of and expects my mom and I to be at her beck and call whenever she needs a favor. She is coming back in to town this week and I am dreading it. I know she is going to come around the house again. She has deserted all her friends and even family members. She's draining us physically, financially, and emotionally. Thank you for this video. My mom and I need to learn how to detach from her.
This is SO HELPFUL to me, thank you!!! I live with someone who has outbursts and blowups out of the blue on crazy, little things. It’s just nuts!! And living in this environment is so taxing and utterly exhausting! I want to run away from my home at times and not come back. I’m currently working hard to heal from a recent cancer dx and I’m realizing separating myself from this person/detaching from him at these times is crucial!!! Thank you for this great info!🤓👏🏻👏🏻 I especially appreciate the part about not taking their issues upon us. It’s their problem, not ours. Thank you for this❤❤❤❤
I have been through so many difficult relationships and situations after survivor several forms of abuse growing up. I have learned to do the work to produce a wisdom response in the place of a emotional reaction! This video is spot on and very helpful. Thank you for what you do.
Bravo!!! Love this. I just learned in February about narcissism… and finally getting “practiced” in dealing with them, as you poignantly stated. Thank you for all your truly helpful free content. Much respect and gratitude
Thank you! You explain things so well! As soon as I hear it, I think, “Of course! This makes so much sense!” Thank you for continuing to love & share your wisdom!
You are a life savior, Stephanie. Thank you so much for everything you do. You have no idea how much your content is helpful to me. Thank you so much ❤
I try to view dealing with the difficult person as emotional weight lifting. The more I can keep my emotions in check dealing with them and also NOT ruminating on the interaction afterwards, the stronger I get. I will be honest though, it's a lot of work not smashing a glass bottle across their face.🤣🤣
Thank you Stephanie! Your videos are always informative, practical, and inspiring. I’m actually emotionally triggered with anxiety right now. I’m a light sleeper and living with my dysfunctional family. My parents are both toxic in their own ways and my brother is as well. It’s very difficult being around them it’s an emotional rollercoaster. A little joy but it never lasts with them because they not ready to get help and heal individually.
This all makes sense but when it’s your mother it’s so hard. She is getting more evil every week towards me to the point I don’t even want to live anymore. I’m 43 and the thought of another decade of being made to feel so low is unbearable. I resent her so much, I have no respect for her and think she is a terrible mother but I have no choice, we are only a small family of 4 and both my parents are very unwell, the guilt won’t let me walk away. I feel so trapped
I had the same question for Stephanie : how not to take it personally, if you’re dealing with relatives? Because at work or with a spouse it’s easier, then with mother or brothers and sisters, especially if you live with them under the same roof. How you maintain boundaries with the toxic people if you live with them and have to take care of them? I guess my plan should be: 1) to get a better job; 2) move out of the house & 3) hire a nurse. Or share a burden with brothers, at least financial. Usually toxic parents end up in a nursing home, there they spill their toxicity on the staff. But staff can take it and they don’t even get paid that much. They smile at them, feed them, wash their butts. It’s easier to take care someone else’s parents that’s for sure. Because there are professional boundaries and no traumas from the past that weren’t healed.
I think you have not placed enough boundaries, doesn’t matter you are their son or daughter. They will try to make you feel guilty Always, if you drop into that they get their power on you back. Need to work on your self-esteem, doesn’t matter that it’s your parent.
All I can say is move far away It's what I did and there is light ahead. Really just cause their family your mental health is far more important. The best.
As always, so helpful !!!! Exactly what I am dealing with. while co parenting or paralel parenting; liiterally within last week it was a roller coaster... playing nicr in the sand box one day, the nect day not, saying he will do something and than just not doing it with no explanation. This was soo helpful. Thank you Stephanie
There should be no excuses for staying in a relationship with someone that puts you through more stress and pain over love and joy. 💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Problem she dont want to leave me alone,i want break up but she dont want..its suffering and so toxic.where living in together i told her to go back to their home but she want to stay..i hate the fact i cant have my freedom😭
yes their alot toxic people on this earth and i run into alot of them like cass he a friend of my mom's and he nosey and be's toxic around me i just ingore him now and act like he not even around me
Amazing video as always Stephanie!! I loved the tip about evaluating what we do after the interaction. And making sure we’re doing healthy things to sooth (outside of venting. Lol)!
Omg perfect timing...crazy story I have. I got to pick up at grocery and they repeatedly give me Brown rotten bananas. I have complained nicely. Still getting the gas lighting that there's nothing wrong with the bananas! The last two weeks every time I do a pickup something's missing in my order and when I complain they say it was in there LOL what to do with these kind of people I will watch this video 100 times LOL
I think they are deliberately upsetting you - some people take a malicious pleasure doing that. Change stores, or you need some way of regaining power so they back off & stop it.
I agree. It is hard though. Like being on a course in a systemically toxic environment where you’re deliberately; intentionally misunderstood, maligned and ostracised. Holding your head up Showing up Navigating that It’s hard Especially when there’s 17 months of a course left It’s that thing: not wanting to be sabotaged and derailed but questioning why you’re putting yourself through it day after day Never being invited to group anything Groups delight in having someone to exclude, throw off and generally hate on.
A great video as always Stephanie and really really helpful as I have to engage sometimes with my narcissistic mother. I used to jump to her tune, mainly I now realise to avoid her narcissistic rage, but now I am in therapy and also watching your videos to educate myself I feel more empowered and can predict mostly her “drink of choice” and prep for it. But slowing down my reactions is something I still have to work on so that is my No.1 takeaway from your video today. Love them for validation, therapy and just a reassurance that it’s not me!❤🙏
Thank you thank you thank you.... you have no idea how much I appreciate your videos. I feel heard, seen and understood. I was questioning my own reality and sanity, and down in the dumps... but after watching and learning and reflecting on my own relationships their role, my role, my wounds, their traits... I can see the dynamics..... You are giving us tools to use, that can empower us, so we don't feel as drained or blame ourselves when dealing with people like this.... I feel relieved to be honest.... Your channel is the right step in reclaiming my own sense of worth and my mental and emotional health. P.S Your programs I would love to do, however can you provide payment plan option eg 3- 6 months a direct debit/credit card payment to come out, rather than the whole amount at once. I have done this with other resources I have been interested in, it makes it more affordable and accessible. : You may reach more clients that way. :)
Could you please post a video how to deal with and help a toxic narcissistic attention-seeking manipulative coworker who is also suffering from mental illness (delusion mainly)?
I'm running out of skin to cut and I don't think I can live like this and I don't want to continue to live like this but I'm broke and unable to get my own place. My job and the rent doesn't match. The rent cost is getting higher and I couldn't chase after it anymore. Here I am hoping to get some tips on how to deal otherwise I might just not wake up anymore.
I didn’t have chance to say no to this person. I drained myself and my emotions were exploded and she didn’t talk to me for almost half year. I still dealing with what I did wrong and circling again and again.😢
Some of the people who I have had to deal with are not necessarily always attacking me (only), sometimes they are also just being disagreeable with other people in general. I know to not take it personally in those situations. Yet, it is still extremely draining to be around. 😩
I have been detached for a long while now but then it was birthday on Monday and I found it really difficult being the first one without him. Then realised he hadn’t paid something that was overdue that he assured me he would and I reacted. I hate that I did and I wish I just ignored it but for some reason I didn’t.
Ignoring is a great method however I prefer the lashing out method as you can let your anger build up inside and then when it’s time you can just fill the air with hate and smash them to pieces , when they eventually heal you can repeat it all over again 😂 bless you all ❤
Perfect timing! Thank you for this! At what point would you say it's best to cut ties and leave? Or is the point that it simply doesn't trigger you any longer? I am dealing with a challenging client and not in position where I can leave just yet.
It’s a killer and the barbed hook that catches you every time 😢 hurt people hurt . A damaged adult having a tantrum . Release remove yourself and live your life to the max . They hate to see you happy and being out of their control ❤️
How to soothe yourself after interacting with someone who is nasty to you is really hard to figure out. I wish you could provide a few decompression strategies for us. Instead of venting what to do? Journal about it, go to the gym, pray, etc?
Hello, Thank you for this video. I agree with you in most of the points. My issue involves family members. I want to ask you what do I do when family members are constantly drama dumping on me? My idea was to just disappear but I do feel sorry for their situation.
This was so helpful, Stephanie, thank you. You have described my relationship with my older sister. It is a constant rollercoaster ride. We mainly communicate through email, and she is more often than naught critical, reprimanding, rude, hurtful, insulting, and controlling. Of course there are days she "plays nice in the sandbox". It causes me a great deal of confusion. I don't think she is a narcissist, though definitely a toxic person. It leaves me extremely confused most of the time, and she blames things on "my sensitivities". She has said at times she didn't want me talking to certain people, she monitors my behavior, makes negative comments on my Facebook page,. I feel the resentment has been there since birth. I have started to pull away and limit contact, which has felt strange, but so good!! I sometimes slip though and worry about my own vulnerability. She clearly has no self-awareness whatsoever, and her defenses go up when she is called out on her behavior. Everyone else is wrong, not her. That's another thing, she has this need to frequently go around telling me and others how "wrong" they are in their choices and behavior. Sometimes I worry like I will keep going back and making the same mistakes because when she is good she is a lot of fun, and pleasant to communicate with, but as you said the next day a totally different story. I'm learning, but slowly and it's a hard lesson learned.
When i’m detached and someone creates drama to try get control over me, i make light fun of the situation. I might be like. Me: Can i ask you a question? Her: ok. Me: why are you so fit? It changes the mood in a positive direction. You don’t have to stay close to that person after but this lets them know they cant affect you and shows you care even when they’re throwing a tantrum. If its too rude or disrespectful… tell them to stfu and remove yourself from there.
I agree 100 percent. I no longer have trouble protecting myself. I used to absolutely twist myself into a pretzel for others. It’s possible to change but it takes courage, practice and being ok with not doing it perfectly every time. Adopt a growth mindset about it and anybody can achieve mastery.
The negativity from the narc is just draining .Yet they project onto you that you are the negative one .Listen closely to their conversation ,they never compliment or thank you.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ......
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm..
So true. I kept thinking this to myself about my narc housemate. She never once uttered one word of genuine gratitude or kindness.
This is draining, it's constantly being on guard. You just want to be at peace and relax but their only goal in life is to take that away from you, so they wait till they catch you in a bad day to have you react and yell how fed up of them you are! 😤
Keep your distance. Physically and emotionally. I've had narcs in my life and after going no contact with them for years I got my peace back. There is a new narc in my life and I'm going to do the same thing again. Don't let them into your mental space.
@@goaldigger9815All of the DEMONS must stop they are evils
I get that. Sometimes it’s too much “work” to even be around a toxic environment. What works for me is to be in a creative orientation.
That is so true! I never realised this before. I am starting to though
M@@thegeniusjourney
I had friends who is always bossing me around making me do things that they wanted to do. So I turn it around and became a friend that is constantly asking for favors. I'll ask to borrow money, or to give me a ride somewhere in their car. To babysit my cat and even to pick something up for me on their way home. They got so annoyed with me that now they avoid me as much as possible. Without even realizing that they has given me peace and I have been able to do so many things that I wanted to do an accomplish so many goals without being interrupted by them. My tip is if they bug you then you annoy them and eventually they will go away and you'll enjoy your life with peace and quiet 😜👍
😂❤
Friends u can walk away.. prob is if u got family around like thus
@@Fenrispro When it comes to family you tell them the truth. You tell them straight up that they are a nuisance to you. Then you let them choose if they want to cut you off or start showing you some respect and behave 🤗
@@AnitaBonita46If you tell them truth then they will be kind and respectful. There will be no toxic people in this world. Their problem is that they never accept the truth. They never change.
Perfect
Your exactly right Stephanie. We cannot let anyone control our emotions. Good video. I need to slow down on my reactions 😑
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm
Stumbling upon Channels like these is one of the best things to ever happen to me. They are really helpful in helping me navigate and eventually, getting myself out of sooo many toxic dysfunctional relationships that I had unintentionally put myself in.
It’s so hard to detach when the toxic people are my parents. They have total control now and I am trying to get out soon but so tough. They want me in their life but I am ready to have other meaningful people instead of just family.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm
I'm your cheer section! Nothing makes me happier than someone stumbling onto a channel that helps lift them and advise them in this area, especially younger people. So, YAY!! 2 U.
@unitinharmony7546 this really gets much worse of its parents. You've normalized being abused and thts the intent.
You live for their needs. The kids that went thru this are now easy targets as adults, then you have to repayment yourself. They don't see your value beyond how it helps/serves them. Once they're dead they don't care wht happens to you after that. Take care of you regardless of their anger and they'll trip themselves.
Once you pick up signs of a toxic person around you or in your life ignore, walk away do not allow power of you to them. Go away from them.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm
It's 1.20am in the UK and I so needed this! Got my 32 year old son living with me. In 2014 he was diagnosed with Aspergers. In July 2021 he came back to live with me. He hasn't spoken to his mother, my ex, since 2012. Earlier this year he was diagnosed with ADHD. But through this year he has become more narcissistic in his behaviour toward me. Thank you Stephanie for this. Helped me get a positive perspective tonight.
I tend to end up as a "trashcan" for toxic people... It's horrible, and i just fawn as a trauma response! But im going to take responsebility now! I have grown stronger and now i have the energy end spupportsystem i need to take this battle.
Thank you for making theese videos ❤
That is the only way do it and stay strong God bless
I've been listening to you for years and all of your videos are spot on. It helped me thru and to overcome a difficult divorce a year and a half ago. Keep these messages coming Stephanie.. Thank you..
Great video Stephanie, this is the reason why I haven’t gotten divorced yet, my wife is needy and toxic and all her problems she blames on me instead of owning her lack of discipline and poor lifestyle choices. This video is what I might need to finally have the courage to go through this divorce because this relationship has given nothing but heartaches and disappointments for 12 years. I have to be courageous and fearless and know that everything is going to be ok and it’s ok to dive into the unknown and a new life.
It’s amazing how many unaware toxic people there are out here! Some absolutely refuse to work on themselves.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ.........
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm......
💯
So true
What narcisists are doing has nothing to do with me! - repeating This mantra is very helpful and it is true! Abusive behaviour and hurtful words tell on the abuser and not the abused! Thank you.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm
Looking back if I could have done something different with my toxic ex, it would have been to not engage in the crazy arguments, it just fed her and drained me.
Remain silent or walk away is my aim if i ever encounter this again.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm
Reversed ✌️
I have the tribulation of living with these types of people. Sometimes you just need to ignore their comments, try your best to minimize your interaction with them, and have your own space. Also, prayer if you are a person of faith.
Toxic people are always around me and they are literally everywhere.
Work slowly towards getting away from them. Build your escape route daily and go when the time is right for you to free yourself. Stay positive never give up❤
I have a toxic sister. She has badmouthed me in the past to other people. She is now homeless, has 4 dogs that she won't get rid of and expects my mom and I to be at her beck and call whenever she needs a favor. She is coming back in to town this week and I am dreading it. I know she is going to come around the house again. She has deserted all her friends and even family members. She's draining us physically, financially, and emotionally. Thank you for this video. My mom and I need to learn how to detach from her.
Her video's seriously changed my life, and taught me so many things.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ.........
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“This is a trigger, this is a trigger, this is a trigger” my mantra
God bless you Stephanie for putting positive awareness out into the world! 🙏
This is SO HELPFUL to me, thank you!!! I live with someone who has outbursts and blowups out of the blue on crazy, little things. It’s just nuts!! And living in this environment is so taxing and utterly exhausting! I want to run away from my home at times and not come back. I’m currently working hard to heal from a recent cancer dx and I’m realizing separating myself from this person/detaching from him at these times is crucial!!! Thank you for this great info!🤓👏🏻👏🏻 I especially appreciate the part about not taking their issues upon us. It’s their problem, not ours. Thank you for this❤❤❤❤
I have been through so many difficult relationships and situations after survivor several forms of abuse growing up. I have learned to do the work to produce a wisdom response in the place of a emotional reaction! This video is spot on and very helpful. Thank you for what you do.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ..........
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I've had one bad relationship after another. Wish you the best.
Bravo!!! Love this.
I just learned in February about narcissism… and finally getting “practiced” in dealing with them, as you poignantly stated. Thank you for all your truly helpful free content. Much respect and gratitude
Thank you! You explain things so well! As soon as I hear it, I think, “Of course! This makes so much sense!”
Thank you for continuing to love & share your wisdom!
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ..........
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You are a life savior, Stephanie. Thank you so much for everything you do. You have no idea how much your content is helpful to me. Thank you so much ❤
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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I try to view dealing with the difficult person as emotional weight lifting.
The more I can keep my emotions in check dealing with them and also NOT ruminating on the interaction afterwards, the stronger I get.
I will be honest though, it's a lot of work not smashing a glass bottle across their face.🤣🤣
I love this
With the holidays coming and being expected to tolerate that person detachment and a pause is wonderful. I took my power back.
Thank you! So very helpful. When all else fails, give yourself permission to discontinue any interactions. 🙏❤️
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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I always trust what Stephanie will say will make perfect sense.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
Thank you Stephanie! Your videos are always informative, practical, and inspiring. I’m actually emotionally triggered with anxiety right now. I’m a light sleeper and living with my dysfunctional family. My parents are both toxic in their own ways and my brother is as well. It’s very difficult being around them it’s an emotional rollercoaster. A little joy but it never lasts with them because they not ready to get help and heal individually.
This all makes sense but when it’s your mother it’s so hard. She is getting more evil every week towards me to the point I don’t even want to live anymore. I’m 43 and the thought of another decade of being made to feel so low is unbearable. I resent her so much, I have no respect for her and think she is a terrible mother but I have no choice, we are only a small family of 4 and both my parents are very unwell, the guilt won’t let me walk away. I feel so trapped
I had the same question for Stephanie : how not to take it personally, if you’re dealing with relatives? Because at work or with a spouse it’s easier, then with mother or brothers and sisters, especially if you live with them under the same roof. How you maintain boundaries with the toxic people if you live with them and have to take care of them? I guess my plan should be: 1) to get a better job; 2) move out of the house & 3) hire a nurse. Or share a burden with brothers, at least financial. Usually toxic parents end up in a nursing home, there they spill their toxicity on the staff. But staff can take it and they don’t even get paid that much. They smile at them, feed them, wash their butts. It’s easier to take care someone else’s parents that’s for sure. Because there are professional boundaries and no traumas from the past that weren’t healed.
I think you have not placed enough boundaries, doesn’t matter you are their son or daughter. They will try to make you feel guilty Always, if you drop into that they get their power on you back. Need to work on your self-esteem, doesn’t matter that it’s your parent.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ..........
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All I can say is move far away
It's what I did and there is light ahead. Really just cause their family your mental health is far more important. The best.
As always, so helpful !!!! Exactly what I am dealing with. while co parenting or paralel parenting; liiterally within last week it was a roller coaster... playing nicr in the sand box one day, the nect day not, saying he will do something and than just not doing it with no explanation. This was soo helpful. Thank you Stephanie
What a pleasure to realize that you have outgrown them😊🎉😅
There should be no excuses for staying in a relationship with someone that puts you through more stress and pain over love and joy.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Problem she dont want to leave me alone,i want break up but she dont want..its suffering and so toxic.where living in together i told her to go back to their home but she want to stay..i hate the fact i cant have my freedom😭
Living someone like this is hard but I know it’s a chance for me to practice detachment & emotional regulation. Thank you for this!
THANK YOU a million times over!!! Your message gives me hope that I can deal with THAT person in my life.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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So self developin' and healin'. Interesting vid. Love it, thank you
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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Starting my day with this video. Thank you for taking the time to say what needed to be said. ❤ you
yes their alot toxic people on this earth and i run into alot of them like cass he a friend of my mom's and he nosey and be's toxic around me i just ingore him now and act like he not even around me
Thanks!
Praise God Stephanie you've got an answer
Amazing video as always Stephanie!! I loved the tip about evaluating what we do after the interaction. And making sure we’re doing healthy things to sooth (outside of venting. Lol)!
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ..........
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I like how calm she is in all her videos, she seems soo chillll lol
I like when things are slowing down and giving me the time to heal up. ❤
I am running over each of your videos and having them related
Thanks a lot ❤🙏 for sharing all these 🤗🤗
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Omg perfect timing...crazy story I have. I got to pick up at grocery and they repeatedly give me Brown rotten bananas. I have complained nicely. Still getting the gas lighting that there's nothing wrong with the bananas! The last two weeks every time I do a pickup something's missing in my order and when I complain they say it was in there LOL what to do with these kind of people I will watch this video 100 times LOL
I think they are deliberately upsetting you - some people take a malicious pleasure doing that. Change stores, or you need some way of regaining power so they back off & stop it.
Thank you for this video, I wrote some notes down.
I feel a lot more prepared now to handle the difficult people in my workplace :D
I agree.
It is hard though.
Like being on a course in a systemically toxic environment where you’re deliberately; intentionally misunderstood,
maligned and ostracised.
Holding your head up
Showing up
Navigating that
It’s hard
Especially when there’s 17 months of a course left
It’s that thing: not wanting to be sabotaged and derailed but questioning why you’re putting yourself through it day after day
Never being invited to group anything
Groups delight in having someone to exclude, throw off and generally hate on.
Could not need this video more today! Much appreciated.
A great video as always Stephanie and really really helpful as I have to engage sometimes with my narcissistic mother. I used to jump to her tune, mainly I now realise to avoid her narcissistic rage, but now I am in therapy and also watching your videos to educate myself I feel more empowered and can predict mostly her “drink of choice” and prep for it. But slowing down my reactions is something I still have to work on so that is my No.1 takeaway from your video today. Love them for validation, therapy and just a reassurance that it’s not me!❤🙏
Thank you so much, I will watch this again and again as it really resonated with me and helped me.
This is an EXCELLENT video! I've watched it 5 times! 😊
The format of this video is really helpful with the steps at the end. Thank you.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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♥️Stephanie♥️thank you for helping us♥️I will share your Wonderful couching ♥️Defenly will share your videos ♥️
TY!
Thank you for your videos, helps me more than you know
Thank you sooo much! This is just ❤ what I needed!!!!
So glad!
Verrrrry good advice. I do these things subconsciously but this video shows me what exactly should be done
You are super helpful for me 🙏.
So a big Big thank you for all your help 🌟.
Thank you thank you thank you.... you have no idea how much I appreciate your videos. I feel heard, seen and understood. I was questioning my own reality and sanity, and down in the dumps... but after watching and learning and reflecting on my own relationships their role, my role, my wounds, their traits... I can see the dynamics..... You are giving us tools to use, that can empower us, so we don't feel as drained or blame ourselves when dealing with people like this.... I feel relieved to be honest.... Your channel is the right step in reclaiming my own sense of worth and my mental and emotional health. P.S Your programs I would love to do, however can you provide payment plan option eg 3- 6 months a direct debit/credit card payment to come out, rather than the whole amount at once. I have done this with other resources I have been interested in, it makes it more affordable and accessible. : You may reach more clients that way. :)
You are so smart, Stephanie... thank you! I am definitely rewatching and taking notes! I need these tips burned into my brain and muscle memory.
Thank You. This Advice Is Always Useful Around The Holidays
I’m so thankful for your UA-cam channel, thank you for your time and energy 💜
Could you please post a video how to deal with and help a toxic narcissistic attention-seeking manipulative coworker who is also suffering from mental illness (delusion mainly)?
I miss the good ol days. I just used to beat the beep out of them. In my environment, that doesn’t work today. So this video is very helpful.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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😂😂😂😂
Its crap for me. Because when I was 17 I was assaulted and I still feel the pain from all them years ago
I'm running out of skin to cut and I don't think I can live like this and I don't want to continue to live like this but I'm broke and unable to get my own place. My job and the rent doesn't match. The rent cost is getting higher and I couldn't chase after it anymore. Here I am hoping to get some tips on how to deal otherwise I might just not wake up anymore.
What can I do when I start feeling anxiety around the toxic person when they are near me ?
Thank you so much for this😅Your videos have changed my life.❤
THANK YOU for this video!!!! Just, Thank you. So insightful during my newly separation with my toxic spouse.
Yea living with this walking on egg shell and tension is what gives us hypertension ( high blood pressure)
I didn’t have chance to say no to this person. I drained myself and my emotions were exploded and she didn’t talk to me for almost half year. I still dealing with what I did wrong and circling again and again.😢
I needed this!! TY! Perfect timing!
Some of the people who I have had to deal with are not necessarily always attacking me (only), sometimes they are also just being disagreeable with other people in general. I know to not take it personally in those situations. Yet, it is still extremely draining to be around. 😩
Draining is the word - that’s when you put up boundaries or dive into self care afterwards.
Thanks so much. I really needed this advice!
Run is correct Nevermind that kind of behaviour🙏🌠
OMG perfect timing! Thank you so much. I wonder why this is playing out so much right now?!
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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I have been detached for a long while now but then it was birthday on Monday and I found it really difficult being the first one without him. Then realised he hadn’t paid something that was overdue that he assured me he would and I reacted. I hate that I did and I wish I just ignored it but for some reason I didn’t.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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Thank you and I learned to be calm
- Self-control and don't get frustrated
Thank so much for everything you do we love you 💗💗😘
Ignoring is a great method however I prefer the lashing out method as you can let your anger build up inside and then when it’s time you can just fill the air with hate and smash them to pieces , when they eventually heal you can repeat it all over again 😂 bless you all ❤
Great video thank you 🌈🌈God bless you 🌈🌈
I hope in the future you'll think about saying "toxic behavior" instead of toxic person.
Grateful for your advice
THANK YOU!!! This helps so much!
Perfect timing! Thank you for this!
At what point would you say it's best to cut ties and leave? Or is the point that it simply doesn't trigger you any longer? I am dealing with a challenging client and not in position where I can leave just yet.
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
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I have had people who used to follow me around. And I am sure there have also cost me to lose my jobs. Yep be carful and slow down and stop
It's hard to set boundaries when they keep telling you that "they will be dying soon," That the doctor says that they are left with a few years.
It’s a killer and the barbed hook that catches you every time 😢 hurt people hurt . A damaged adult having a tantrum . Release remove yourself and live your life to the max . They hate to see you happy and being out of their control ❤️
I needed this now, thank you! ❤
Greetings Stephanie, nice to see you again my friend!
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm
How to soothe yourself after interacting with someone who is nasty to you is really hard to figure out. I wish you could provide a few decompression strategies for us. Instead of venting what to do? Journal about it, go to the gym, pray, etc?
Hello,
Thank you for this video. I agree with you in most of the points. My issue involves family members. I want to ask you what do I do when family members are constantly drama dumping on me? My idea was to just disappear but I do feel sorry for their situation.
Stephanie, you are the best🎁❤️🔥
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm.....
This is right on time!
very well explained. thanks
This was so helpful, Stephanie, thank you. You have described my relationship with my older sister. It is a constant rollercoaster ride. We mainly communicate through email, and she is more often than naught critical, reprimanding, rude, hurtful, insulting, and controlling. Of course there are days she "plays nice in the sandbox". It causes me a great deal of confusion. I don't think she is a narcissist, though definitely a toxic person. It leaves me extremely confused most of the time, and she blames things on "my sensitivities". She has said at times she didn't want me talking to certain people, she monitors my behavior, makes negative comments on my Facebook page,. I feel the resentment has been there since birth. I have started to pull away and limit contact, which has felt strange, but so good!! I sometimes slip though and worry about my own vulnerability. She clearly has no self-awareness whatsoever, and her defenses go up when she is called out on her behavior. Everyone else is wrong, not her. That's another thing, she has this need to frequently go around telling me and others how "wrong" they are in their choices and behavior. Sometimes I worry like I will keep going back and making the same mistakes because when she is good she is a lot of fun, and pleasant to communicate with, but as you said the next day a totally different story. I'm learning, but slowly and it's a hard lesson learned.
Thanks mam
It really helped !
Thank you so much Stephanie!!!
Aʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ! ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴏʟᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ....
☝️☝️☝️☝️what¶ats'app hjm
You’re the best ❤
When i’m detached and someone creates drama to try get control over me, i make light fun of the situation. I might be like. Me: Can i ask you a question? Her: ok. Me: why are you so fit? It changes the mood in a positive direction.
You don’t have to stay close to that person after but this lets them know they cant affect you and shows you care even when they’re throwing a tantrum.
If its too rude or disrespectful… tell them to stfu and remove yourself from there.