Bach - Prelude in F minor Book 2

I hate religions secondarily to our materialistic society. It is the primary source of distraction and sound interference. By believing in one and acting with vigor within its principles, one finds themselves in a position of scrawny personality being trodden by others. I now face my own shadow of anger:
I speak to it, embodied in someone who now is financially successful and ignorant of the corruption power brings along - two nigh-sociopaths:
[one pertains to archetypal projection "fuck you" type mentality because of not fitting in and accepting the reality of the group and another towards neighborhood watch - just to get ahead of people - the ego is hidden within the collective but I picked up the signal]
I do not trust the group simply because it lacks awareness of what is fair. It is a sacrilege and infestation of ingratitude and enables people to work in a state of corrupt affairs founded by the sacrifice of people in the past who built the foundation.
I also am well aware of your manipulative tactics after you have worked hard to gain the trust of the people. I have had quarrels within me as there is a part of me that seeks to inflict punishment as a result of seeing the lack of justice within the system - but doing it frequently would mean that you are somewhat of an ingrate - most people who don't chase after power fear the corruption to the soul it brings and it takes someone who is grateful from within to consciously work against the impulse to dominate. This world is very corrupt and lenient towards those who are merciless, and systems develop to enslave, not liberate. We are the ones who live in excess and should be disciplined to bring light to those who have not. Playing the power game is destructive to authenticity and identity if you consider yourself someone who wants to really help others in growth.
I have moreover come to realize that most people are a shadow of their former glory, especially the ones who have lost a lot in life due to circumstances they feel necessary to challenge, putting their livelihoods in line for doing the right thing. Doing the right thing in the long term requires focusing on cultivating oneself from the inside, not gaining power that is taken mostly from those who have worked hard in a flawed system.
For a long time I admire your drive and connection to the people. It is something that I have worked hard for but I sacrificed it all for religion to protect others from our system. Maybe one day I will recover what is mine.
As for ..., there was a point when I was finished with what I "desired" but I would've liked one of you to stop suggesting other material. It is confusing to say something and do another thing. Cut the drama. If you had done that, I would've stopped and understood the limits. It is a problem of lack of communication between you two. My soul is badly confused through this process and I had let go for a long time, but my shadow does not, indicating the predicament of intent. Authenticity demands niceness only when it is in alignment with personal character, but what I saw it the opposite of that. By over extending it, you put a big pressure on me as my shadow reveals - I should like to inform you your authenticity demands a big price on others sacrifice for materialist joy. The enjoyment of drama is at the expense of others appreciation and solemnity. My experience is very nuanced, but I do not tolerate traitors of conscience for group gain. [implied one of you]
To me, business means selling my soul to ingrates. No no, I wouldn't do that despite the fun drama involved. I'm drawing my boundaries by writing this. "Energetically"
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I have found great gratitude and authenticity within Richmond Friendly Toastmasters. It is unspeakable the family I have experienced. Should've not given that gratitude to a certain religion..