That’s not what she’s talking about. Not college per se, but the sense of libertine freedom from all consequences and responsibilities it provides. Attending college from home doesn’t provide that.
That’s a different issue. Agreed that not are families are nurturing, but many young people get away from their parental guidance and see what all the other kids are doing and join right in.
College was the best decision I’ve ever made. Hands down. 20 plus years later, I’m thankful that 18 year old me had the courage to pursue my own goals. Not everyone has a hallmark card family and there are just as many people who benefit from spreading their wings and gaining independence from a difficult or toxic family situation.
I support people who want to go to college near their families, but there is a large part of me that believes that those who never leave the nest won't be prepared for the realities of the real world. Staying home is staying in a bubble. Family is important, but exposing yourself to new people, thought processes, and experiences is invaluable. I often say that I learned more from college just by BEING there than I did from the books alone.
Just to provide another perspective: going to college in another state was the best thing I could have done for ME. I learned who I was as a person away from my family and how to take care of myself, which is something I feel every adult needs to learn. College is basically adulting with training wheels in my eyes, and a great transition to full adult life that I badly needed. Of course, I didn't drink, party, or any of that. I had close friends that I'm still in contact with 25 years later and mostly studied. My degree also allowed me to support myself right out of college (of course, there are other ways to do this such as apprenticeships, community college, etc.). Once again, not attacking, just providing another perspective. I have siblings who are doing awesome without degrees. 🙂
Yes that’s good for you but she talking about the people who are not ready for that life style but is force by their family. Also, college is not training wheels for some because college cost way too much for you to treat as a training for adult hood when you are too poor.
@@Anime-chan-gl4pe Did want to clarify a couple things for you, 🙂. I didn't feel ready at the time either FOR SURE but in retrospect it was the push outside my comfort zone I needed. Also, I was a poor scholarship kid and took my studies VERY seriously to keep the scholarship. By "training wheels" I definitely didn't mean the rich "Daddy is paying so I'm going to spend my time partying" attitude, which I saw from a few folks for sure. Not trying to be all debate-y, just wanted to further explain. Have an amazing weekend!
Where I live it's pretty common for people to continue to live with their parents while going to uni.It's mostly to save money but I always found it so weird that the US seems to push very young people to move out. Yes, it can make you more independent and it might sometimes be necessary to move to another city to study your dream subject, but if you can live with your parents for a few years more why not.
I find it interesting parents are in the hurry for their youth to move out and if get in a situation, rather leave them homeless than let them temporarily stay with them ( I understand some parents got honest reasons ), but earth forbid if they cannot live with their children when they get elder ( and I understand some children have honest reasons they cannot become caregivers. At least check on them regularly enough to make sure parents or any other elders they look after are safe and alright.
I moved away at 17 three hours away from my family and my college experience taught me independence, time management, networking, business skills I came home every other month to my family, who also taught me my values and morals. If you were raised to be a leader, and not a follower your environment, no matter where it is, will not affect you.
You cannot be a good leader, unless you were once a good follower. Leadership is about 'authority' and leading those under your care. If you don't know how to follow and submit to authority, what makes you think you'll be a good effective leader? We already have a myriad of mediocre leaders in our world. Plus, women make lousy leaders. They make better followers. That's in their gene code...the way God made them. *it's been proven history for millennias. There's no such thing as born-leaders. Even boys need to learn how to follow before they can learn how to lead.
Estee, you can't shelter someone their entire life. Facing difficulties in life is what makes you grow into an adult. Let's say you have kids and you shelter them from outside influence their entire upbringing and you have them living at home and go to community college as young adults and they move from their childhood home only when they get married. Here's what's gonna happen; they are going to be mentally like infants, completely unprepared for the real world and just so emotionally fragile. By "protecting" them from the world you have only prolonged their inevitable and necessary step into adulthood. In short, you're doing them a huge disservice.
What a beautiful upbringing! I believe parents should be living with their adult children when they need to be taken care of rather than put into elderly homes
@@EsteeWilliams I took care of my mom for 3 1/2 years and just a few months ago she passed away in her bed at our home, where she was lovingly taken care of. Hours before she passed away, she gave her life to God. This would never have happened had she not been living with me. I had to fight to keep her with me. There just isn’t the support of the family anymore. We’ve just gotten too individualistic in this country. Even the Christians have embraced this destructive life.
I also thank God that although I was raised in a big city my dad came from a small mountain village of 200 people and my mom also came from a small mountain village of 3400 people . My dads village didn’t even have one single bathroom in it yet everyone was happy . Both my parents were virgins when they married and they stayed married for 51 years . Only thing that separated the marriage was when they both passed away . I’m sure my mom is screaming at my dad to get out of the kitchen as we speak lol😂
@@shellymcgrew4412awwww that is such an inspiring story Shelly . God bless your mom and God bless you for having the strength to be there for her during a very painful time . As someone who has lost both parents I know what it’s like . My dad was my best friend and he also came back to God the day before he passed away because he was angry at God for a long time because he was molested by a priest at a young age in his home country (Lebanon )
@@angelbrother1238 life is such a mixed bag, isn’t it? Ultimately it comes down to knowing the character of God. That can get you through the worst times. The apostle Paul was in chains for several years. That’s where he wrote the book of Philippians and where he said, there were many people in the guards, that knew about God now. I’m sorry your father went through what he did, and I’m glad that he’s in the arms of God now. I wonder what those of us who remain are willing to go through for his sake. God bless you!
By that same logic men shouldn’t go to higher institutions and universities either. This in actuality is discouraging people from receiving higher education and following their aspirations because party culture is a problem. You think community college folks don’t engage in party culture? Which yes is a problem, but talking down on university education and academic endeavors is ridiculous.
Maybe this was your experience, but I don’t think this is true for all people. I don’t see how impressionable young people aren’t just as likely to be exposed to drugs and alcohol if they stay local. Moreover, physical proximity does not necessarily equate to more familial support. I spoke to my mother on the phone multiple times each week while I was in college. I knew I could contact her for support if I needed it, but a big part of college for me was learning how to be an independent adult who was wholly responsible for my own actions. It helped me become who I am today.
As a young woman, college helped me break a family cycle of poverty, drug abuse, and domestic violence. While I understand that the culture of the “college lifestyle” has many potential pitfalls, it is so disappointing and hurtful to watch you attempt to lead young women away from the hard work, achievements, growth, and empowerment that can accompany higher education. Speaking as a young woman with a master’s degree, who now teaches at a university, I hope that none of my female students ever watch your video and find themselves deterred from college, and all the wonderful things that often come along with it.
Agreed. Different strokes for different folks. Some people do better staying near their families. However, it's very good for young people to go out there and be independent. How else are you going to know who you are if you do not have the space to develop? Some people might be happier at trade schools. I loved my college experience and wouldn't trade it for the world.
100%. The UA-cam rabbit hole leads me to this video where she’s claiming “college is a problem,” which is laughably absurd. The point of college is to gain higher education and expertise necessary for one’s care arc, while also learning a greater degree of independence and maturity in the process. This lady suggesting college is a problem because of things people *might* be exposed to is silly. Those same people will likely be exposed to drugs, alcohol, and increased sexual activity without going to college. In fact, it should be suggested people are generally exposed to those things in high school in many instances; does that mean people shouldn’t go to high school either? If people don’t want to go to college or aren’t ready after high school, completely up to them. But watching an “influencer” try to tell others to avoid it comes off as uninformed fear mongering and/or pandering to a very specific crowd for likes/approval. Thankfully people like you will point out how disappointing her message in this video is. She’s entitled to her opinion, but there isn’t even the most basic logic present with her opinion
I'm a married woman with a college degree (I stay home) and do agree that it's a problem. I didn't move away though or even go to college on a campus, I did the entire thing online. I do think the whole college lifestyle is a problem and gets a lot of kids in to trouble, but they're away from home for the first time and "experimenting." Most kids in their late teens/early 20s are glad to be away from their parents and doing their own thing. I'm grateful to have a backup plan in the event my husband becomes ill/injured or worse, and he can't work and I have to step up. I also have the ability to work from home doing several things even though I don't right now. College isn't even needed for many different jobs unless you want to be something like a doctor, lawyer, etc. There are many jobs where you can make decent money without a degree. A lot of places seem to require it though just to basically check a box on paper, even though it's not necessary. It's a shame how many people on both sides have abandoned family life over a career, which won't love you. However, it's really hard to live in today's economy so working is necessary for so many people. I'm grateful and fortunate that my husband can support us and I can stay home.
Where I come from most kids are drinking, doing drugs and smashing in high school. If you move out at 18 and dont go to college, you have even more free time to drink, do drugs and get laid. While the college environment can exacerbate the situation for some students, ultimatly you can easily do all of that in your home town, weather you go to college or not. Just my opinion.
@@jessicamessica2271 Oh, I agree. I was in high school in the early 2000s and kids were even doing it, then. I hadn't even kissed a guy until after I was 18. I was the nerdy/quiet type in school and never got in to that crowd. Kids can always find a way to get in to trouble, unfortunately, especially in today's world of social media.
I'm a stay at home wife and mother too but the best thing about a college degree is that no one can take that away from you, so that's awesome and don't let anyone tell you different that it's a waste.
No one's adandoned family life over a career. You're assuming it's either/or - it's not. And that everyone finds a good partner at the age you did. We don't. And that love from a spouse and kids is more important than career fulfillment and finances that provide a stable life. They're not! Why do you worry about how other people live and what they value? And whether they enjoy the specific type of love you do? Have I or any of us told you, "Don't get married. Just work and live by yourself." Live your life and let others live theirs.
It may seem shocking, but I went to boarding school when I was 8 (yes, eight) years old in a different part of my country (the U.K.) to where my family lived at the time. It was a very difficult experience but taught me many useful skills that have stood me in good stead throughout my life, including resourcefulness and a passion for learning. My teachers and the ethos of the high school I later attended (also as a boarder) had a huge impact on my spiritual formation. This continued for me at university (the opposite side of the country from home) where the support, witness and fellowship of other Christians within the student body had a profound impact on me. Let’s also flag the positives that can happen in contexts outside and away from the home!
I went to school. Got a degree became a nurse. Which is fine. But personally I felt the most happiest is when I stay home and take care of my farm and family ❤ raising kids and being a wife to my hard working husband.
Most people don't enjoy their work over everything else. But its something that has to be done. Someone has to pay the bills. Sometimes it takes 2 to get the bills paid. So no, work isn't usually fun. For men or women. That's why its called WORK.
Definitely, the world is very different in many places. Here, there's a very famous saying that goes, "the best stage of your life is when you study." It's very old, and for many people here, it's completely true.
I am grateful for an excellent mother who raised me to respect myself and to not fall into these destructive patterns when going to university. Thank you, Mama ❤
@@TheTeaArtist She coached me on how it was important to not be used and how intimacy should be an expression of love, how it should be meaningful, and anything less was degrading. She also never told me I couldn’t do anything, but cautioned me regarding the pros and cons of my choices. I always felt like we could talk about anything as she didn’t use emotional reactions to try to control me. And if I ever wanted to experiment with alcohol, to do so at home. Ultimately, she really just drove home that I needed to understand what it meant to love and respect myself. Also, a deathly fear of STDs as unwanted pregnancy helped.
This is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard. I attended two community colleges, a university, plus I worked on, but did not complete, a masters degree at another university. One of the community colleges was a vocational education program where I got excellent training in the field that I ended up working in after college (animal keeper at a major metropolitan zoo). I consider my college years to be some of the most valuable times of my life. I grew both psychologically and intellectually, and developed a lifelong love of learning. Neither drugs nor sex were a part of my lifestyle. The college years should be a time for a young person, female or male, to learn to live independently of their parents. This will prepare them for the challenges of adulthood.
I was emancipated as a teenager. College was my saving grace because it gave me a place to live and rebuild my life. However, she’s completely right. I purposely filled my schedule with classes, work and sports so that I could make the most of my four years and protect myself by having excuses to not party. “Can’t go, I got practice, class, work, etc.” I wish I had the protection of a structured family. I didn’t. But I did keep myself out of unsafe situations and don’t regret it one bit. Those kids ten years later are in miserable situations. And I just bought my first home. 🙏🏻 Grateful to God for protecting me where my family failed me.
Girl... I'm a Spaniard. NO ONE leaves their family to go to college. And still, most teenagers are promiscuous and take drugs. I, on the other hand, are leaving to study in the US and believe me will stay responsible. A lack of independence doesn't avoid any of the things you said. Independence is ultimately something beneficial.
she doesn't understand the concept of either education or indeoendance.....she calls indeoendance isolation.....maybe instead of thinking that " cOllEgDe iS A PrObLEm" she finally starts preaching about morals that are equal FOR ALL instead of pandering to men who are are most likely engage into promiscuity & drugs, people must be independent to become responsible, that's how one learns how to manage one's life properly & gathers necessary skills to live a good life! $ex drUgs & alcoholic exist everywhere, properly raised kids who taught care & responsibility, both girls & boys will know to stay away of destruction regardless where they are or what company they are in, personal responsibility is great thing, humans are not a herd, you can't constantly push & blame others for your bad choice in lifestyle!
Not everyone has a great family to stay with, and not everyone has a family. For some people, it is better to leave unhealthy or abusive families. Just food for thought.
I think going to college was the best thing for me. My home was chaotic and already had a drug problem (my brothers). When I moved out, my now husband (who I was dating before and after moving out) saw a significant change in me. I had a boost of confidence and mood. There was a lot of screaming and tension in my home. So it was like a weight was lifted off me. I was only 45 minutes away, so it wasn’t like I left my family. But moving out taught me how to budget time and money, how to be independent, etc. When my now husband and I decided to move in together and then get married, my college experience help prepare me to be a better wife and mother. That’s just my experience, but I see what this video is saying. College should be about learning responsibility, accountability, and figuring out who you are. Having fun is one thing, but you don’t need to party till you puke…. Literally.
The reason that college is a wonderful thing is because it expands your mind and introduces you to new information That staying at home won’t teach you. The sex drugs and all that happens everywhere. That’s insane that you said this lol children need to separate from their families because if not it’s unhealthy. You need to individuate in order to become a healthy individual.
I'm glad that you and others are a growing voice to counter the poison that has been spreading rapidly in our society for the past 60+ years. I only wish the counter-revolution had begun earlier, before so many ruined their lives by succumbing to the vile propaganda that took root and grew during that time.
My parents were both college graduates of a major university in the MID 50s!! They both started careers (my Mom was a Grade School teacher, my Dad was a Navy Officer in Intelligence after being in ROTC, then pursued a business career). They had 4 children, all successful college graduates themselves. They were married 65 years until my Dad passed away. There was no "indoctrination" of anything. There was no agenda. There was no "leftist plot" to destroy the family. They went to college to become EDUCATED, to become mature productive adults, to learn how to lead, to teach, to manage time under deadlines, work ethic, independence, problem solve, THINK AND ANALYZE ISSUES, PROBLEMS AND LIFE CHOICES WITH INTELLIGENCE. To learn how to question, seek TRUTH, debate, argue, and grow AS A HUMAN BEING. THAT'S WHAT COLLEGE IS ABOUT. No family was destroyed. Our families CONTRIBUTED TO SOCIETY TO MAKE A BETTER WORLD. YOU RIGHT WING BRAINWASHED NUMBSKULLS, DEFRAUDED BY THE BIG LIE, UNEDUCATED, DINWITTED, ARE EASILY BRAINWASHED AND MANIPULATED BY HATE. YOU ARE DESPICABLE HATEFUL FRAUDULENT POSERS AND ARE TRYING TO DUMB DOWN SOCIETY TO CREATE A DUMB ELECTORATE MORE WILLING TO INSTALL A FASCIST RIGHT WING EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN WHITE SUPREMACIST DICTATORSHIP. I WILL CALL NUMBSKULLS LIKE YOU OUT EVERYWHERE I SEE YOUR PROPAGANDA AND DIVISION AND HATE AGENDA. YOU'RE PATHETIC AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE GREAT DEMOCRACY OF THE UNITED STATES.
You’re absolutely right. This woman is such a positive influence that we need more than ever for young women. Society was great when all of the women thought and acted like her. We also need positive influences for men to become better and understand what masculinity and being a good man for the community is all about. There are great times ahead. I am optimistic!
@nolegirl4god What "poison"??? Lmfao. People being educated?? You're completely clueless. This anti education thing is typical right wing brainwashing. We're already getting our azzes kicked by the Japanese, Koreans and Chinese, as well as the European Union countries. Making America Dumber (MAD) is not the solution to anything, other than a decline in America's strength and productivity. Its the lazy azz idiot philosophy. 🙄 Grow up.
Yep and modern day parents are also to blame. The idea that you only have to parent for 18yrs and then your child is "on their own" or that a child that still lives at home after 18 is some kind of free-loader and if you allow it, your child will never "grow up". Its unfortunate because young adults still need a lot of guidance, especially at a time in their lives when they are expected to make good decisions for their future.
There needs to be some kind of balance. Once a child is 18 they can either leave the house or they can stay, but if they choose to stay they have more responsibilities. They should have to grow up a little like getting a job and paying for some of their own expenses (especially fun expenses) there are too many adults still at home doing nothing. These kids need good parenting to learn how to grow up slowly not all at once like with moving away to college. Thats when you make the most mistakes when you are not guided. We aren't birds, we should be children until we are pushed out of the nest into the real world.
Lots of times after wasting 4 years in college, the "children" go home to mooch off the parents. Seldom do they contribute financially to the parental home.
Excellent points made!!👍 Community college is also much less expensive and can be done without student loans without putting financial stress on the student or the family!
I aish I lived in a place where my son can stay with me, even as he is about to enter his 20s in weeks. But thankfully his dad has his own home so my son can at least stay there.
@@lolakauffmann It is sad they don't make minimum wage high enough for late teens/early 20s to live on comfortably and not need to depend on two jobs with no sleep and not need to depend on roommates, seeing how sometimes roommates not work out.
@@holyexperience1976 I'm the same age as your son, my parents let me live with them while I go to school and work. Since I don't have any bills, I can save every penny I make. I wouldn't be so set financially if it weren't for them. I'm very thankful for them and I would let my future kid(s) do the same.
I went to college at 18 and honestly I should have waited a year because I wasn't ready, but I honestly didn't start doing dumb stuff until about a year later. In hindsight, I'm really happy I went through all of that, though. It showed me the importance of treating my freedom with responsibility. I've always been very close to my parents, though, so I'm fortunate that they guided me through some of my roughest years. Now I have two Masters degrees, I'm about to finish my PhD, and I'm a college professor myself. I would never give up my education, as it has afforded me all of the opportunities I've had in my life... but I agree that college can be a really dangerous place for many reasons if you don't have stable social and familial support. I'll admit that I used to be a total snob about community colleges, but now I really love them as a way for students to get general education classes out of the way before they go to 4 year universities, while simultaneously growing up and still having the influence and security of family. But I do think we need to be teaching young women to be independent and to stand on their own.
If young people fall into those bad patterns when they leave home for college it means that they did not internalise their family's "morals". Their family did not instil values in them but only enforced them by restricting what their children could do. When the young adults leave home the restrictions their parents imposed on them fall away and they have no reason to follow these "morals" anymore. This is where is shows whether their behaviour is intrinsically motivated by the values they hold or if it was extrinsically motivated by restrictions imposed by their parents. So the problem is not that young people are no longer with their families, the problem is that their families failed to transfer their values when they were raising their children. And it is when the children leave their home when this shows. Advocating for community college as in this video does not fix this. What it does is keep the young adults under the control of their parents for longer. It is a way to cover up the failure of the parents to raise their children with certain values.
I think this is the key that she's missing. Completely right, keeping the kids at home longer just extends the parents' authority over them. The kids aren't staying grounded because they're instilled with that ability, their parents are just keeping them in line for longer.
My Turn!!!!!!!! Estee, yes! Father of two, super young now (just 2 1/2 and 3 months), but yeah, we need this perspective more. We live with both sets of grandparents within 10 miles of us except half of the family snowbirds. Even at 31 and 28, having this love and support for us is huge. College.... yes... just no. I went to Harvard and the Air Force Academy and man Harvard is truly not where I would ever send my daughter or son for that matter. I love your point about local schooling. My school has a 4 year, a community college, and the Air Force Academy in our backyard. After going to harvard for a year, I knew that I wanted to be close to home at the Air force academy was luckily an option right there. My mom is a loan officer and one of the coolest things she shared with me is that she is seeing families move closer to whatever university or place their kids relocate to because they realize that connection is so important. That connection had been severed in value for a while. I think that are going to be some sweet communities like this one where people of similar values will have safe havens and be the lifeboats for their families to preserve values and continue to grow as society might be moving left and right. Family is the pillar that my life that I choose to be built on.
@@lolakauffmannThere’s three definitions of child. 1. a young human being below the age of puberty or below the legal age of majority. 2. a son or daughter of any age. 3. an immature or irresponsible person. Use common sense, in this case we’re obviously talking about the second definition
In my country, most people stay at their parent's home while going to university, except if they need to move to another state. It's better to stay with your family while you're at university because you save a lot of money. Also if you can do uni online, do it. You'll save TONS of money, since you don't even have to pay public/private transport to go there, or pay for physical books/stationary/etc. My boyfriend studied his degrees from his parent's home, too.
Going to a school far away from my immediate family is the best thing I ever chose to do. I love my family dearly but we bring out the worst in each other. I chose a city with much of my extended family, who I am also close with, because I value the safety net and social values of family, but I couldn’t stay local. My parents have become so dysfunctional in recent years, and me moving far away forced them to step back up into my little siblings lives and fulfill the roles that I had been taking on for years. I think you discredit university students too much; I’ve never felt pressured into promiscuity or drug use or alcoholism, because that’s just not in my personal values. Chances are that whether someone stays local or ventures far, their intrinsic moral character will eventually show through.
I think you are onto something here! I was truly blessed to live with my grandmother when I went to college - she lived close by and it was wonderful to have her by my side as I learned how to be more independent.
To anyone who wants to go college go to community College first. Get all the remedial courses done there. Also explorer what you want to do there. By doing this you'll safe alot of cash and possibly not get into debt or have very little of it.
I respectfully agree to disagree. The reason we go away to college is to better ourselves make your generation better than the past one better the species if you will. Your family that you grew up with until 12th grade was to prepare you for the challenges of college yes the drugs sex and alcohol. They were to develop your moral and mental compass so when you did go away you made good choices. I am sorry love but there are different levels of colleges and different levels of people at these institutions. In order to better yourself & the species you need to challenge yourself and do the hard thing rather then the comfortable thing. Personally I never had the opportunity to go away to college and have that experience I went to school during the day and drove trucks at night. I missed out on spring breaks summers off and all the college experiences normal kids had. I did have what other college kids didn’t get and that was experiences. Driving trucks I went to all different kinds of factories and facilities I learned about the supply chain how things were made and got from point A to B & everything thing in between. I went to garment factories to lawn mower factories. I delivered some of the first computer chip boards to the navy’s submarines. I graduated with a 2.9 but was probably smarter than the valedictorian. Anyway the point is experiencing is priceless and staying with in one’s comfort zone of home and family is nice and safe but it is limiting.We have an obligation to provide opportunity to the next generation and the path to that is partially by experience. Some day you will have kids and you will want the bed for them the best thing you can give them is opportunity don’t limit them.
Agree, this supposed connection between drinking/drug use and going to college is speculative at best. I wouldn’t be surprised if drinking and drug use was just as prevalent among young people who don’t go to college or go to college locally. Ultimately, each person should do what is right for them, whether that means staying close to home or moving away. I suspect this is a deliberately inflammatory statement meant to provoke social media engagement.
Colleges aren’t the problem, the cost is. Also, one can still live at home and go to college. It’s more of a movie stereotypical thing that you’re “supposed to” move far away to go to college. It’s also not difficult to maintain a relationship with your family, even if you do move far away.
This is stupid. Your family can still guide you if your away from them. You don’t have to live with them forever neither do you have to move out instantly. This is just another end of the extreme.
Not only that, there is a lot politics going on in universities. I didn’t continue going. I thank God I didn’t. I still hope for the upcoming generation to do new things, not taking the college path, and start businesses of their own, who are pro-family, pro-community, and pro-entrepreneur. Good video, Estee. 👍🏾
I love how Estee Williams only likes the comments that she agrees with and are fully in her favor. Weak woman who can't handle criticism. (And that's coming from me, someone who disagrees with everything about feminism, drugs, or casual sex).
Fantastic advice for both young ladies and men! Staying grounded while furthering education and career will lead to the most fruitful outcome. Excellent advice Estee!
I decided not to go to college for 2 main reason. One because I didn't know what I wanted to do or the debit that goes along with it. Two I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Just like my mother. I have been married for 5 years and on baby number 2. Raising my kids has been the best thing I could ever do.
This was reflective during Covid as well regarding families. Many people think 18 and I'm out. Polynesian families, Asian and many non-Western originated families, reaped the benefits of large families in one house. My Samoan family all pulled together with food and resources. Many Filipino friends of mine did the same.
I’m age 30. I don’t have children, never been married and went for my associates degree. I am soooo happy to be where I’m at! I encourage all women to go this route.
Remember some white women will always talk from a place of privilege. It is okay to see them as kids yapping to piss of their parents instead of actual adults with life experiences z
Thank you so much for addressing this!! I was pretty much forced to go to college, it was my mom's rule that I graduate before me and my long-term boyfriend could get married. I lived on campus but didn't get involved with any of the drugs, sex, or alcohol, and my college was just a couple towns away from my mom's house so I went home every weekend to go to church and get away from all the peer pressure. I remember being told so firmly by professors and "student mentors" not to go home at all in those first few weeks. I'm so glad I didn't listen to them, going home on the weekends is probably the only reason I stuck with it and graduated successfully. Now I look back and get a little creeped out at how much they didn't want me to go home and see my family and friends.
LOVE this message! And this is coming from a woman who went to university, lived in another state and got her masters. Community College all the way. Young people have no idea how corrupt these facilities are and they are often unprepared for it.
I agree that community colleges are a great option for many young adults. They’re much cheaper and more practical for many people. My biggest problem with college is how expensive it is - in today’s world, going away to an expensive college is not necessary at all for success. College debt is a huge and avoidable problem! To your main point, though, I think you’re right that there’s a push to go away. But we all have different personalities. When I was 18, I was so excited and ready to go away to college, but my parents wanted me to do what you did. It was devastating for me. Then there are people like you who prefer to stay near home. Both are great - we should all make our own personal decision. And for some, that means not going to college at all and learning a trade instead.
That's right, ladies! Cultivating an intellect is BAD for you and is threatening to men. How dare you pursue university? )Also take note, I am not saying that going to college is THE way to go; there are tons of people who come out of college still stupid as anything and just have a paper degree that allows them to get a better job). Her perspective is terrible: she forgets that men and women are equal in intellect, and therefore ANYONE can have a calling to the humanities, the liberal arts, the sciences, being a truck driver, etc. Again, not saying that college is the only way to become formed in this way, but it's helpful and my grandmother who grew up in WW2 Germany to this day at age 86 laments how she could not attend university and get a degree because the whole of Germany was in ruins and no one had money. But I DO AGREE that in general, going away at the age of 18 as opposed to staying close to home (if family envionrment is not abusive etc) is TOO early for a young adult. It does contribute I think to "experimentation" etc but I was raised by 4 grandparents and so I was driven towards the idea of not inflicting any harm on myself emotionally or physically, nor onto anyone else, ie drinking, sex etc.
I wished I moved out earlier. I moved away for college when I was 25. It helped me to seperate from my mother. We had an enmeshed too close relationship and it was very unhealthy for my psyche and my development as an adult. I wished I did it earlier. I recommend to all young people. MOVE OUT AS SOON AS YOU ARE 20
I’m so glad I was never smart enough or had the money to do a four year college, it’s way too expensive and I do feel like it’s a waste of time. I ended up going to a vocational school where it was A LOT cheaper (I don’t have anymore school debt) and you are in school less. Also I went from living with my mom until I was 20, then moving across the country to live with my grandma, and I was with her until my 30s when she passed away.
I went to college and never partied drank alcohol or did drugs. You can go to college and not be influenced by the toxic party culture. Some people just want a chance to get an education.
If the parents provide a solid upbringing, good moral values etc. Then they should be confident that those values will stay with their children regardless where they go in life. Also, back in the 50s women went to college and it was used as a great opportunity to meet successful husbands.
The problem is not college then, it's one's education before college and the culture of casual sex/drugs. Encouraging someone to not go to college is 100% throwing the baby out with the bath water.
Trade school is highly underrated! My husband is an electrician his schooling was very cheap and no debt with that and no matter what he will always be needed and have a job! Completely agree!
So all men need to be plumbers, HVAC techs, electricians and car repairmen. So who will be the doctors, engineers, scientists, businessmen, entrepreneurs who own companies, lawyers, architects, judges, biologists, chemists,etc etc. And all women just should stay at home and spread her legs when her man gets home on command. How stupid can people be? Wow.
I'm a middle age Mom of 6. 3 boys, 3 girls all of which went to college away from home. My kids had firm boundaries while at home. They were taught good manners, good values. They were taught to love and respect themselves and others. They had responsibilities while home and were free to make mistakes (without us bailing them out everytime from the consequences) I never feared them going away to college because I knew they had already learned the most important things and KNEW right from wrong. They are all married now with great spouses, half are parents a few times over already. While I enjoy your channel and some views I disagree with the premise you make about college. College is a time for testing and exploration but as long as kids (girls AND boys) have a good base they will do fine.
The moral structure comes from how you have been raised for years prior to becoming college age. IF you were raised with sound moral values, those values are with you wherever you are, at home or away from home on a college campus.
Completely agree! Community college and then local state college or university is the way to go (if someone decides to go to college). Plus, commuting to school saves a ton of money. The only exception I can think of is if you want to major in something very specialized that isn’t offered at colleges near home.
I agree with you 100%. I moved away for college, it was totally unnecessary. The environment was as you describe it- and it made me uncomfortable cause that’s not my scene at all. Dealing with roommates in a small dorm room was a nightmare on top of all that. I finally had enough and moved home. Agree with you that it can be isolating. If someone has to move away for college would suggest a single dorm room or an apartment with a trusted person. I understand not everyone experiences college like Ester described it but it was exactly like that for me. Agreed that community college is the best route- saves you a ton of money as well. Thank you for sharing this solid advice.
I am 22 and in college. This is my first year. The first two years are online and the last two in person. The problem for me is all the colleges in my area are more liberal so i had to choose an out of state college that has my same beliefs. When i move to Texas for my last 2 years my sister is coming and we are living off campus. We will even have to travel 2 hours to go to Church. But yes if you are not well grounded in your beliefs or faith then yes influence will be easier.
@AudreyPerry The world is very tempting, and putting myself in an occasion of sin is wrong and a sin itself, especially since I consciously knew it. The world is "diverse" only in the wrong ways excepting the LGBTQ, drag queens performing for toddlers, making fun of Christians.
It's a nice touch to frame going to community college as a deliberate choice now, when it's more than likely that at the time it was the only option to get your education. Don't shame people for getting into and going to a farther away university by pretending your only option is actually the better choice.
I'm going to college because I want to study philosophy, and it's the thing I love most. I know that I will enjoy it and it's going to be great. I'm not going to party, I'm going to study, learn, and get my degree. It's good to get out of your house and be your own person if you know what you're going to do.
What about if you come from an abusive household??? When I was a kid my mom was very very strict and I was made to stay in my room and be quiet at all times, not to come out unless called for dinner or needed for something. I wasn't allowed to leave the house other then for school. While at school I was strictly instructed not to speak to anyone who wasn't a school staff member. I wasn't allowed to Rome the store alone when we went out. If my mom ever lost sight of me out in public she would scream like a banchie being murdered until she found me. I have anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, and autism....it was torcher growing up with a strict mom like that and all I wanted to do was get away from her and her stupid rules. She told me I was never going be able to learn to drive until I showed her my driver's license as proof that I knew how to drive.....let that sink it. I struggle to leave my house every day due to all my mental problems. I struggle to find and keep a job. Once in 3rd grade I tried making a friend and went to her house for a play day and my mom busted in the door screaming and threatened the other girls parents saying she's gonna call the cops on them for kidnapping me. My mom would always say to me I had to stay locked up in the house where she knew I was safe cuz people in the outside world wanted to hurt/kidnap/murder me. My mom died back in 2020 and I'm still struggling with all the issues she caused me. I'm afraid to leave my house in fear of something bad happening to me, I can't go anywhere without constant support, and being around people I've never met makes my anxiety sky rocket to plant Neptune and I get Shakey and scared and I can't think straight and I'll either start crying or completely shut down and won't respond to anyone or anything cuz I'm paralyzed with fear........I would have given anything as a young teen to get away from that kind of situation. I was forced to go to generic public school but when I asked to go to college to become a Chief cuz I love to cook she forbid it and told me just to go and get a job in a fast food place...I did that and I ended up having a total mental breakdown and lost my mind and literally went insane and had to go to an inpatient hospital and be on meds cuz I couldn't Handel it anymore. I've been living on my own for a couple years now, I've had a couple jobs but can't seem to stay in one place for more then a couple months. Been jobless for over 3 months now and if I don't find something nothing the next 2 weeks I'll lose all my possessions, my apartment, everything and I'll be homeless and no where to go and no one to turn to. I'm alone, down on my luck, and I don't know how to fix it
Hi Alice, I'm so sorry about everything you're going through 😢 I also thought about that too, about people who come from abusive households, it's better for them to get out of that environment since it's very unhealthy. Some people do need the independence away from their family to help them heal and escape the trauma. Do you have a GoFundMe or a PayPal where we can help you out? It breaks my heart to hear that you'd lose everything you have and go homeless. You deserve a stable and healthy life. I pray to god with all my heart that you'll receive that and many more good things that give you peace and joy. Please let me know if there's any way we can help you out. I'm sending you all the love. Hang in there pal, I pray you will make it through. You are more amazing than you think ❤
I feel like this is true to an extent. I have been to both community college and university (currently at uni) and honestly the situation is the same. If young adults want to engage in this culture they will do it regardless where they are because they will still be influenced by their peers. I went to a community college in my small island and many took drugs, drunk alcohol and have hook-ups at a young age (17-18) while living with their parents. I am currently at uni and the situation is exactly the same here. The best thing that can be done is educating kids about this from a young age so they make sound decisions when they are older. Fortunately, despite media projecting a different idea, younger generations are having a lot less risky sex and they are taking less drugs than previous generations (in general and at university). They are a lot more educated about these issues than many other people were.
Let's say that all parents are qualified to guide their 18 year old daughter/son in life (which is not the case in real life - children can be smarter and more mature than their parents). No matter how great the parents are, there are some things that a person never gets to discover about her/himself, unless they experience them. Not all people are the same, not all people are fulfilled by the same things in life. Not all people are happy by doing the same things in life. 18 years old is a critical age where the person needs to be free to experience life on their own, and figure out who they are, and what they want out of life.
Great message ☺️ I went a 9 hr train ride from my home town to university. At the university town, it was just one big debaucherous party after the next with learning in between. I'm surprised all of us graduated and got jobs etc. I wouldn't recommend it to my two kids though
I was able to escape a home of poverty, domestic violence, and parental drug abuse to go to college and begin to find a healthier, safer home-life and craft what a new day-to-day looked like for me. I was the first in my family to finish high school and then first to get a college degree, and it helped me get where I am today. I'm happy and debt free, and got to learn so much and live so much by moving out on my own. It may have even saved my life, and now I get to give back. Just cause there was drugs, drinking, and partying in the environment doesn't mean you'll personally do all that. Lots of kids I knew in college snorted coke. I have never tried it, cause I just don't wanna. Also it's not only at college. Sometimes it's in the family and you can use being away for education to have some chill quiet time and form the opposite lifestyle. This sounds like someone was sheltered and privileged before going to school...not relevant to a lot of young women.
College was the only way i was going to escape my small village in Norther Michigan. Both my parents were Catholics, drug addict and alcoholic, and neither went to college. But i went to college and it saved my life. My degree gave me the ability to rely on myself and not end up trapped in a situation where I depend on a man. I can provide for myself. Along with my skills, grit, friends, and partner, i am becoming "self-realized". I am building relationships with others professionally, and, within my community. I have self-esteem that i earned thru challenging not only myself but societal norms that tell women every day not to pursue success.
I agree that there are issues on campuses these days, but I am not sure community college is the answer anymore because the quality of education has declined in recent years. I know what I'm saying since I have spent 25 years teaching in higher education, and a chunk of that time has been at community colleges. Right now I work at a commuter campus that once offered a great education for our students at an affordable price in a variety of academic areas and career paths. However, things went downhill a few years ago when we partnered with the local school district to create a dual credit/magnet school program for what were supposed to be their "best" academic students. Needless to say, things have not worked out that way. Indeed, our traditional students, who were once our strength, now opt to attend one of our different campuses or outside of our community college district altogether since they have no wish to relive the chaos they just left at their respective high schools. As the school district throws its weight around (which is easy since they provide maybe 85% of our students now that they have chased off our traditional enrollment), our campus has changed, which includes the quality of our instructors and the education students can receive. The associate of arts degree has suffered, and I would not recommend it to prospective students anymore...I am sorry to say this, and I owe much to my experience at a community college where I earned my AA in the mid-1990s. However, what I say is true. Let me just offer you one example. I was department chair, and we had an opening. I had an excellent candidate who had his Ph.D. and 20 years experience that included awards for teaching and publications in his field. Then I was told that a former faculty member, someone who had been trouble for me and her colleagues, was applying for the position she had resigned 7 months previously. I was concerned because, first, this person had left us midyear without much warning, which meant that perhaps half of our courses in her department were left without an instructor. Second, I had concerns about her teaching: I had had to write her up for instructing students to use QuillBot (which is a well-known “text-spinner” that students use to get around originality scores on TurnItIn) to “paraphrase” a secondary text for sections of what were intended to be submitted and assessed as original work; she also failed to cover or discuss challenging ideas, concepts, and texts that she expected students to take a major test on or write about for an important paper, and she expected some of my academic support staff to teach these things for her: I had tutors and coordinators teaching 30 students in individual sessions in a 2 week period the stuff she could have taught once in a class so that my colleagues could cover more basics such as proofreading, problem-solving, etc. My poor tutors could not get a break because her students gummed up the calendar for 2 weeks and all the other students had wait, so my staff did not have a lull for a month, and they were exhausted! Anyway, to make a long story short, we had to rehire this former faculty member rather than the excellent candidate who would have been better for our students. One reason was because of administrative favoritism and also because of pressure from the school district, who basically just want more of these dual credit students to pass with college credit whether those credits mean anything or not. This is not to say that there aren't many great community colleges out there that do not do these sorts of things...but I'd wager that they are becoming more of the exception than the rule. Be careful about community colleges.
The young 16-18 year old learner was me and I loved it. Not sure there's any one "best" student for community college, hopefully one that pays attention and pays tuition.
The best is online study...and being autistic it's hard to follow the strict rigid rules of college conduct plus the jungle like wild environment of university. I would want the best of both worlds so it's possible at home with youtube kind of ..just have to keep laziness in check...
Assuming that these students come from good supportive families 🤨 Some are eager to escape their terrible families 🤷🏻♀️ and some do find strong sense of community and support in university even amongst, and in spite of, the crazy environment.
I hear ya! College is an extremely artificial environment--not necessarily in the people you meet or what you learn, but in the environment itself. The real world is nothing like a college campus. I'm incredibly grateful that I was able to commute to college classes and get a degree while still living at home and reimmerse myself daily in my home life. I think there is something to be said, of course, for getting a higher education, and this tends to be overlooked or discredited by some folks who promote the "tradwife" lifestyle. I don't blame them, because of the toxicity of the college environment, but you've put a very balanced view on it. Keep this up, Estee!
I'm attending community college and could not agree more! I plan on staying at home and choosing a nearby uni so I can be with my family as well. Im glad to see someone putting this out here ❤
The morals I grew up with were not supportive, not traditional, not religious. Moving away helped me get in touch with that. That is also the point of college, learning who you want to be independent of what your parents want you to be. You are your own person, not an extension of your parents.
As a mother who just took her daughter to University about 2 1/2 hrs away this is hard to hear. I understand your point but you forget personal Responsibility. I think as parents we raise them the best we can, instilling good values and morals as best we can. Preparing them to become independent persons of their own. I went to college for 4 years. I made some stupid choices but I Managed to graduate with honors and always put studying first. I believe this will be a huge growth opportunity for my daughter who is doing pre-med. She knows that her Father and I are here for her always. I talk to her daily so she knows I love her and want to be there for her. Some kids aren’t ready to move away and go to a big college and so community college is the right choice for them.
I'm sorry you don't have that, you are in a great place here, I hope you can find a group that supports you and you can grow a "family" and community for yourself
Moving away from home can teach you a lot about responsibility, the value of a dollar, the importance of cleaning up after yourself, managing your time, setting a budget etc. Finding your own community of people who share similar values and/or critically thinking about the values you were raised with is an important part of becoming an adult (imo).
I totally agree, Estee! I see that in my country too, but still there are teenagers who can’t afford moving to the big cities to go to college and decide to study online or in universities at their hometowns. I did everything online, didn’t want to be separated from my family and I wouldn’t let myself be forced to do what I didn’t want to, the things that you mentioned. 18 is still too young to move out, many claim to be mature, obviously, but they’re clearly not and just want to experiment in life. That’s when bad things can happen. Especially in the last couple of years with the awful indoctrination and massive wokeness going on in colleges.
Thank you for your input! It’s very sad to see a young person go into college and come out different in many bad ways. The indoctrination is a huge part of it and like you said the culture of peer pressure that even the most mentally strong people have bent to because naturally we want to be accepted by the environment we are in
Ideally yes, however families can be the most toxic environments in the world...so appears you have a great family. In my experience it is really contingent on the situation
Oh my gosh, someone ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME. My husband had to teach me about this. I did the 4 year university, the debt, the waiting for kids to pay off the debt. My husband had to tell me about how this affected my life. DUDE. Now I can teach my children. Don’t go with the status quo! Don’t go just for an experience!!! So much regret! But thank you Jesus I can teach my baby girl.
YES, I was influenced by the college culture, and I try not to live in regret, but now I'm thankful to have come out of it. I am with my wonderful husband (who also was influenced by that culture) and we both want a better future for our kids instead of "typical college".
@@GabrielandEmanuel thank you for your encouragement! Yes, Satan tried to keep me in that place of shame and embarrassment, but thank God I am a new creation in Christ! God bless you too!
Well... Hearing you talk about the isolation of youngsters in college, I immediately thought of the way abusers isolate their victims from their friends and family. It's odd that "liberated" women know so much about abusive relationships, yet they fail to recognise one when it's forced upon entire generations by the system
@@EsteeWilliams maybe being raised this way by the university system instead of their families, abuse is the only thing they know by the time they reach the age of a "serious relationship", if we can speak of seriousness in modern people
Growing up I hated school and the indoctrination. The thought of actually PAYING to go to school was absolutely repulsive… the pressure society puts on women work like dogs fr companies and men who don’t care about them… sad honestly . And giving women a false sense of accomplishment because of a piece of paper… pure deception. College and career is just a outlet for women who don’t see being a devoted wife & mother as something they want… and women who “try” to balance career, being a mom, and wife are 9 times outta 10 giving their best to their jobs/bosses and giving their husbands/children their sloppy seconds and that’s how it always ends up, whether those women like to admit it. Cause truth is a woman CANNOT do it all.
I think you're seeing it too one-sidedly. Yes, it can be a problem when young people have to move away from their families, but that is not always the case (I first lived with my family and later with my future husband when I was studying). It can be that young people in a city experience bad things (drug use, wrong friends), but this also happens in families. There can also be drug problems in a family and children can be abused, so that young people want to break out. Always staying in a family can mean stability, but also that you never look outside your own box and never question your attitude - it depends on the family you were born into.
Very good point. A lot of women also get sexually assaulted in these environments. I’m from Europe so I went to college in my city which has quite a few universities. I feel blessed that I was able to do that. I also got married young, at 23 and we’ve been together 25 years now. Still my soulmate.
of course it is, her takes are as superficial as her idea of t"rad wife", I wonder what would she say or look like if she lived in 1700-1800 lower working class family.....one dumb take after another, surface level thinking, blaming others for poor parenting & lack of personal responsibility, thinking college is useless, thing independence whi is what beaches people responsibility equals isolation & ton of contradiction.....if she cared as much as she pretends anybe she could start a campaign to clear the places off of drugs & started conversation about morals FOR ALL, instead she blames college for seX & drugs, college a place that is & has always been FOR EDUCATION ONLY no more no less.....
Not only for views, but for fraud and right wing z Christian Evangelical indoctrination. She's part of the same group that is anti education, anti learning, anti books, pro book banning and burning. I will bet big $$$ she is being paid via a right wing Christian PAC.
Hmm some of us have crappy parents. It's a privilege to have a family with morals. I didn't pay attention to toxic college stereotypes. I focused on getting my degree and barely had sex (and regretted it when I did). If you have the privilege of a good family, good for you, but remember that you're lucky. The most immoral, unsupportive people in my life have been family. I like you and your lifestyle just please remember that we were all born into different circumstances.
Agree. But the word you want is impressionable, not influential. Not a big deal among friends, but for a public speaker people will pick you apart for it. It's the great message that matters
I love the IDEA of higher education, but the cost of it and the way it promotes indoctrination is a big turnoff. Community college is a great way to get your basics done cheap before transferring to a university for your major! (Just make sure beforehand they will accept all your credit hours!) Also, I wish that we had more ways to apprentice. Yes, plumbers and electricians apprentice for years, but it would be amazing if white collar jobs would take on the apprenticeship model instead of forcing people into unpaid, overworked internships and volunteering in order to gain experience.
Yeah, anyone who holds a license to practice had to have those hard years in college and I’m sure we’re all thankful they took that journey. 😬 Also, while our trades are incredibly valuable and we desperately need more in these fields, not everyone is cut out for a trade.
I went to college for about 2 years. Eventually dropped out and am working a fast food job. College is definitely not for everyone and I do feel it shouldn't be pushed on everyone as it is. My mental health was not the best when I attended and it didn't improve. I ended up preferring to work than attend so I dropped out to work fulltime. My mental health has recovered somewhat and I may give online college a shot one day. But for me the isolation was overwhelming and part of the reason my mental health suffered. I knew no one and making friends was hard. I avoided all partying so that may have been part of the reason why 😅 I also drove about 11/2 hours to get there and back almost every single day. The commute eventually took its toll.
Your experience may have been fear about leaving your family, but most women who go to university get a great education and go on to be independent and successful. In most countries education is afforadable and acceessible, unlike the US. If women choose to stay home that's fine, but it'd be a terrible waste of intelligene if all women were made to stay home. Isn't it wonderful that we live in a world where women can make their own choices?
I'm a 33 year old virgin women . I graduated from college , and I'm currently earning my paralegal undergraduate certificate . Education is power .
There are a number of ways to gain an education .
Did you not know that you can go to college close to home, where you can continue to live, if that's what you want?
That’s not what she’s talking about. Not college per se, but the sense of libertine freedom from all consequences and responsibilities it provides. Attending college from home doesn’t provide that.
She said that.
College helped me escape my abusive family.
same 😢
That’s a different issue. Agreed that not are families are nurturing, but many young people get away from their parental guidance and see what all the other kids are doing and join right in.
same boo, we escaped
Same..
Only to end up in the hands of abusive indoctrinarians and young men who hate women
College was the best decision I’ve ever made. Hands down. 20 plus years later, I’m thankful that 18 year old me had the courage to pursue my own goals. Not everyone has a hallmark card family and there are just as many people who benefit from spreading their wings and gaining independence from a difficult or toxic family situation.
Little woke feminist middle age women got triggered awww… don’t worry aunt
@@thecollegiate100 she explained it pretty respectfully, actually.
It is a problem
@@thecollegiate100 What? moving away from a toxic family is always a good idea.
I support people who want to go to college near their families, but there is a large part of me that believes that those who never leave the nest won't be prepared for the realities of the real world. Staying home is staying in a bubble. Family is important, but exposing yourself to new people, thought processes, and experiences is invaluable. I often say that I learned more from college just by BEING there than I did from the books alone.
Youve lost your mind. Im so glad I went to college as a traditional woman. Best decision ever.
👏👏👏👏
Rude. I attended university- big waste of time ever.
Just to provide another perspective: going to college in another state was the best thing I could have done for ME. I learned who I was as a person away from my family and how to take care of myself, which is something I feel every adult needs to learn. College is basically adulting with training wheels in my eyes, and a great transition to full adult life that I badly needed. Of course, I didn't drink, party, or any of that. I had close friends that I'm still in contact with 25 years later and mostly studied. My degree also allowed me to support myself right out of college (of course, there are other ways to do this such as apprenticeships, community college, etc.). Once again, not attacking, just providing another perspective. I have siblings who are doing awesome without degrees. 🙂
💯 AGREED
Yes that’s good for you but she talking about the people who are not ready for that life style but is force by their family. Also, college is not training wheels for some because college cost way too much for you to treat as a training for adult hood when you are too poor.
You're in the minority. You lucked out.
@@Anime-chan-gl4pe Did want to clarify a couple things for you, 🙂. I didn't feel ready at the time either FOR SURE but in retrospect it was the push outside my comfort zone I needed. Also, I was a poor scholarship kid and took my studies VERY seriously to keep the scholarship. By "training wheels" I definitely didn't mean the rich "Daddy is paying so I'm going to spend my time partying" attitude, which I saw from a few folks for sure.
Not trying to be all debate-y, just wanted to further explain. Have an amazing weekend!
Love this answer
Where I live it's pretty common for people to continue to live with their parents while going to uni.It's mostly to save money but I always found it so weird that the US seems to push very young people to move out. Yes, it can make you more independent and it might sometimes be necessary to move to another city to study your dream subject, but if you can live with your parents for a few years more why not.
I find it interesting parents are in the hurry for their youth to move out and if get in a situation, rather leave them homeless than let them temporarily stay with them ( I understand some parents got honest reasons ), but earth forbid if they cannot live with their children when they get elder ( and I understand some children have honest reasons they cannot become caregivers. At least check on them regularly enough to make sure parents or any other elders they look after are safe and alright.
Malala took a bullet to study 😵💫 and I have to see this 🥲
In Malala’s country, there are no alcohol, drugs and casual sex at school, and you live with your parents until you get married.
So do we stop breathing because of toxins in our environment :)
@@abcdesaraummm your point?
@@abcdesarathere may be none of that but plenty of child brides, force’s marriages, abuse against women, etc… 🤡
@@abcdesaraMalala took a bullet because of Islam. In Islam women are valued less than cattle.
Glad you had a healthy family. A lot of people don't
I moved away at 17 three hours away from my family and my college experience taught me independence, time management, networking, business skills I came home every other month to my family, who also taught me my values and morals. If you were raised to be a leader, and not a follower your environment, no matter where it is, will not affect you.
You cannot be a good leader, unless you were once a good follower. Leadership is about 'authority' and leading those under your care. If you don't know how to follow and submit to authority, what makes you think you'll be a good effective leader? We already have a myriad of mediocre leaders in our world. Plus, women make lousy leaders. They make better followers. That's in their gene code...the way God made them. *it's been proven history for millennias. There's no such thing as born-leaders. Even boys need to learn how to follow before they can learn how to lead.
Estee, you can't shelter someone their entire life. Facing difficulties in life is what makes you grow into an adult. Let's say you have kids and you shelter them from outside influence their entire upbringing and you have them living at home and go to community college as young adults and they move from their childhood home only when they get married. Here's what's gonna happen; they are going to be mentally like infants, completely unprepared for the real world and just so emotionally fragile. By "protecting" them from the world you have only prolonged their inevitable and necessary step into adulthood. In short, you're doing them a huge disservice.
I agree. Socially and emotionally they will be stunted. Interpersonally we need that exposure
Thats not what she's saying
Lol! What you just said is ridiculous. You must have come from a smothering home.
So without college we all would be mental infants. 🤔
Thank God I was raised on a farm with two parents and four grandparents
What a beautiful upbringing! I believe parents should be living with their adult children when they need to be taken care of rather than put into elderly homes
@@EsteeWilliams I took care of my mom for 3 1/2 years and just a few months ago she passed away in her bed at our home, where she was lovingly taken care of. Hours before she passed away, she gave her life to God. This would never have happened had she not been living with me.
I had to fight to keep her with me. There just isn’t the support of the family anymore. We’ve just gotten too individualistic in this country. Even the Christians have embraced this destructive life.
I also thank God that although I was raised in a big city my dad came from a small mountain village of 200 people and my mom also came from a small mountain village of 3400 people .
My dads village didn’t even have one single bathroom in it yet everyone was happy .
Both my parents were virgins when they married and they stayed married for 51 years . Only thing that separated the marriage was when they both passed away .
I’m sure my mom is screaming at my dad to get out of the kitchen as we speak lol😂
@@shellymcgrew4412awwww that is such an inspiring story Shelly . God bless your mom and God bless you for having the strength to be there for her during a very painful time .
As someone who has lost both parents I know what it’s like .
My dad was my best friend and he also came back to God the day before he passed away because he was angry at God for a long time because he was molested by a priest at a young age in his home country (Lebanon )
@@angelbrother1238 life is such a mixed bag, isn’t it? Ultimately it comes down to knowing the character of God. That can get you through the worst times. The apostle Paul was in chains for several years. That’s where he wrote the book of Philippians and where he said, there were many people in the guards, that knew about God now.
I’m sorry your father went through what he did, and I’m glad that he’s in the arms of God now. I wonder what those of us who remain are willing to go through for his sake. God bless you!
By that same logic men shouldn’t go to higher institutions and universities either. This in actuality is discouraging people from receiving higher education and following their aspirations because party culture is a problem. You think community college folks don’t engage in party culture? Which yes is a problem, but talking down on university education and academic endeavors is ridiculous.
Maybe this was your experience, but I don’t think this is true for all people. I don’t see how impressionable young people aren’t just as likely to be exposed to drugs and alcohol if they stay local. Moreover, physical proximity does not necessarily equate to more familial support. I spoke to my mother on the phone multiple times each week while I was in college. I knew I could contact her for support if I needed it, but a big part of college for me was learning how to be an independent adult who was wholly responsible for my own actions. It helped me become who I am today.
Exactly. Most people have the pajama party experience.
Facts
proper parenting teaches independence.
Probably should have listened to what she said at the end of the video
Couldn’t agree more! 👍
As a young woman, college helped me break a family cycle of poverty, drug abuse, and domestic violence. While I understand that the culture of the “college lifestyle” has many potential pitfalls, it is so disappointing and hurtful to watch you attempt to lead young women away from the hard work, achievements, growth, and empowerment that can accompany higher education.
Speaking as a young woman with a master’s degree, who now teaches at a university, I hope that none of my female students ever watch your video and find themselves deterred from college, and all the wonderful things that often come along with it.
Agreed. Different strokes for different folks. Some people do better staying near their families. However, it's very good for young people to go out there and be independent. How else are you going to know who you are if you do not have the space to develop? Some people might be happier at trade schools. I loved my college experience and wouldn't trade it for the world.
I think atvleast 90% of her audience is male.
@@MonicaMoraal real, lmao
I also don't know why should anyone take advice from her as a twenty something just married wife with no children. She's a kid herself.
100%. The UA-cam rabbit hole leads me to this video where she’s claiming “college is a problem,” which is laughably absurd. The point of college is to gain higher education and expertise necessary for one’s care arc, while also learning a greater degree of independence and maturity in the process.
This lady suggesting college is a problem because of things people *might* be exposed to is silly. Those same people will likely be exposed to drugs, alcohol, and increased sexual activity without going to college. In fact, it should be suggested people are generally exposed to those things in high school in many instances; does that mean people shouldn’t go to high school either?
If people don’t want to go to college or aren’t ready after high school, completely up to them. But watching an “influencer” try to tell others to avoid it comes off as uninformed fear mongering and/or pandering to a very specific crowd for likes/approval.
Thankfully people like you will point out how disappointing her message in this video is. She’s entitled to her opinion, but there isn’t even the most basic logic present with her opinion
I'm a married woman with a college degree (I stay home) and do agree that it's a problem. I didn't move away though or even go to college on a campus, I did the entire thing online. I do think the whole college lifestyle is a problem and gets a lot of kids in to trouble, but they're away from home for the first time and "experimenting." Most kids in their late teens/early 20s are glad to be away from their parents and doing their own thing. I'm grateful to have a backup plan in the event my husband becomes ill/injured or worse, and he can't work and I have to step up. I also have the ability to work from home doing several things even though I don't right now. College isn't even needed for many different jobs unless you want to be something like a doctor, lawyer, etc. There are many jobs where you can make decent money without a degree. A lot of places seem to require it though just to basically check a box on paper, even though it's not necessary. It's a shame how many people on both sides have abandoned family life over a career, which won't love you. However, it's really hard to live in today's economy so working is necessary for so many people. I'm grateful and fortunate that my husband can support us and I can stay home.
Where I come from most kids are drinking, doing drugs and smashing in high school. If you move out at 18 and dont go to college, you have even more free time to drink, do drugs and get laid. While the college environment can exacerbate the situation for some students, ultimatly you can easily do all of that in your home town, weather you go to college or not. Just my opinion.
@@jessicamessica2271 Oh, I agree. I was in high school in the early 2000s and kids were even doing it, then. I hadn't even kissed a guy until after I was 18. I was the nerdy/quiet type in school and never got in to that crowd.
Kids can always find a way to get in to trouble, unfortunately, especially in today's world of social media.
I'm a stay at home wife and mother too but the best thing about a college degree is that no one can take that away from you, so that's awesome and don't let anyone tell you different that it's a waste.
@dvbibbs192 that's the truth
No one's adandoned family life over a career.
You're assuming it's either/or - it's not.
And that everyone finds a good partner at the age you did. We don't.
And that love from a spouse and kids is more important than career fulfillment and finances that provide a stable life. They're not!
Why do you worry about how other people live and what they value? And whether they enjoy the specific type of love you do?
Have I or any of us told you, "Don't get married. Just work and live by yourself."
Live your life and let others live theirs.
It may seem shocking, but I went to boarding school when I was 8 (yes, eight) years old in a different part of my country (the U.K.) to where my family lived at the time. It was a very difficult experience but taught me many useful skills that have stood me in good stead throughout my life, including resourcefulness and a passion for learning. My teachers and the ethos of the high school I later attended (also as a boarder) had a huge impact on my spiritual formation. This continued for me at university (the opposite side of the country from home) where the support, witness and fellowship of other Christians within the student body had a profound impact on me. Let’s also flag the positives that can happen in contexts outside and away from the home!
I went to school. Got a degree became a nurse. Which is fine. But personally I felt the most happiest is when I stay home and take care of my farm and family ❤ raising kids and being a wife to my hard working husband.
Same. I am part time school nurse. ❤️
Most people don't enjoy their work over everything else. But its something that has to be done. Someone has to pay the bills. Sometimes it takes 2 to get the bills paid. So no, work isn't usually fun. For men or women. That's why its called WORK.
Definitely, the world is very different in many places. Here, there's a very famous saying that goes, "the best stage of your life is when you study." It's very old, and for many people here, it's completely true.
I am grateful for an excellent mother who raised me to respect myself and to not fall into these destructive patterns when going to university. Thank you, Mama ❤
Bravo!!!
Can I ask how she influenced you to not get into those patterns in a way such that you wanted to adhere to it and not rebel against it? Thank you!
@@TheTeaArtist She coached me on how it was important to not be used and how intimacy should be an expression of love, how it should be meaningful, and anything less was degrading. She also never told me I couldn’t do anything, but cautioned me regarding the pros and cons of my choices. I always felt like we could talk about anything as she didn’t use emotional reactions to try to control me. And if I ever wanted to experiment with alcohol, to do so at home.
Ultimately, she really just drove home that I needed to understand what it meant to love and respect myself. Also, a deathly fear of STDs as unwanted pregnancy helped.
This is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard. I attended two community colleges, a university, plus I worked on, but did not complete, a masters degree at another university. One of the community colleges was a vocational education program where I got excellent training in the field that I ended up working in after college (animal keeper at a major metropolitan zoo).
I consider my college years to be some of the most valuable times of my life. I grew both psychologically and intellectually, and developed a lifelong love of learning.
Neither drugs nor sex were a part of my lifestyle.
The college years should be a time for a young person, female or male, to learn to live independently of their parents. This will prepare them for the challenges of adulthood.
proper parenting teaches independence and self reliance. college not needed for emotional or mental growth.
@@Dingleberry1856 i disagree. Colleges helps you get better jobs college isnt bar. I went to a CC abd lived at home and still got a degree n
I was emancipated as a teenager. College was my saving grace because it gave me a place to live and rebuild my life. However, she’s completely right. I purposely filled my schedule with classes, work and sports so that I could make the most of my four years and protect myself by having excuses to not party. “Can’t go, I got practice, class, work, etc.” I wish I had the protection of a structured family. I didn’t. But I did keep myself out of unsafe situations and don’t regret it one bit. Those kids ten years later are in miserable situations. And I just bought my first home. 🙏🏻 Grateful to God for protecting me where my family failed me.
Girl... I'm a Spaniard. NO ONE leaves their family to go to college. And still, most teenagers are promiscuous and take drugs. I, on the other hand, are leaving to study in the US and believe me will stay responsible. A lack of independence doesn't avoid any of the things you said. Independence is ultimately something beneficial.
she doesn't understand the concept of either education or indeoendance.....she calls indeoendance isolation.....maybe instead of thinking that " cOllEgDe iS A PrObLEm" she finally starts preaching about morals that are equal FOR ALL instead of pandering to men who are are most likely engage into promiscuity & drugs, people must be independent to become responsible, that's how one learns how to manage one's life properly & gathers necessary skills to live a good life! $ex drUgs & alcoholic exist everywhere, properly raised kids who taught care & responsibility, both girls & boys will know to stay away of destruction regardless where they are or what company they are in, personal responsibility is great thing, humans are not a herd, you can't constantly push & blame others for your bad choice in lifestyle!
Let’s ask why she got a boob job while going to a community college.
And when did Spanish teenagers become like that? Was it not after the US became that way and spread its decadence throughout the world?
Not everyone has a great family to stay with, and not everyone has a family. For some people, it is better to leave unhealthy or abusive families. Just food for thought.
I think going to college was the best thing for me. My home was chaotic and already had a drug problem (my brothers).
When I moved out, my now husband (who I was dating before and after moving out) saw a significant change in me. I had a boost of confidence and mood. There was a lot of screaming and tension in my home. So it was like a weight was lifted off me.
I was only 45 minutes away, so it wasn’t like I left my family. But moving out taught me how to budget time and money, how to be independent, etc. When my now husband and I decided to move in together and then get married, my college experience help prepare me to be a better wife and mother.
That’s just my experience, but I see what this video is saying. College should be about learning responsibility, accountability, and figuring out who you are. Having fun is one thing, but you don’t need to party till you puke…. Literally.
That's true. If one's home is a hell, then a lesser hell is better.
The reason that college is a wonderful thing is because it expands your mind and introduces you to new information
That staying at home won’t teach you. The sex drugs and all that happens everywhere. That’s insane that you said this lol children need to separate from their families because if not it’s unhealthy. You need to individuate in order to become a healthy individual.
I'm glad that you and others are a growing voice to counter the poison that has been spreading rapidly in our society for the past 60+ years. I only wish the counter-revolution had begun earlier, before so many ruined their lives by succumbing to the vile propaganda that took root and grew during that time.
Now is a great time for others to speak up! We have an online world where we can share of views with many and make a difference big or small 😊
My parents were both college graduates of a major university in the MID 50s!! They both started careers (my Mom was a Grade School teacher, my Dad was a Navy Officer in Intelligence after being in ROTC, then pursued a business career). They had 4 children, all successful college graduates themselves. They were married 65 years until my Dad passed away. There was no "indoctrination" of anything. There was no agenda. There was no "leftist plot" to destroy the family. They went to college to become EDUCATED, to become mature productive adults, to learn how to lead, to teach, to manage time under deadlines, work ethic, independence, problem solve, THINK AND ANALYZE ISSUES, PROBLEMS AND LIFE CHOICES WITH INTELLIGENCE. To learn how to question, seek TRUTH, debate, argue, and grow AS A HUMAN BEING. THAT'S WHAT COLLEGE IS ABOUT.
No family was destroyed. Our families CONTRIBUTED TO SOCIETY TO MAKE A BETTER WORLD.
YOU RIGHT WING BRAINWASHED NUMBSKULLS, DEFRAUDED BY THE BIG LIE, UNEDUCATED, DINWITTED, ARE EASILY BRAINWASHED AND MANIPULATED BY HATE. YOU ARE DESPICABLE HATEFUL FRAUDULENT POSERS AND ARE TRYING TO DUMB DOWN SOCIETY TO CREATE A DUMB ELECTORATE MORE WILLING TO INSTALL A FASCIST RIGHT WING EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN WHITE SUPREMACIST DICTATORSHIP.
I WILL CALL NUMBSKULLS LIKE YOU OUT EVERYWHERE I SEE YOUR PROPAGANDA AND DIVISION AND HATE AGENDA. YOU'RE PATHETIC AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE GREAT DEMOCRACY OF THE UNITED STATES.
You’re absolutely right. This woman is such a positive influence that we need more than ever for young women. Society was great when all of the women thought and acted like her. We also need positive influences for men to become better and understand what masculinity and being a good man for the community is all about. There are great times ahead. I am optimistic!
I think the poison had to take root to cause the counter revolution although I'm sorry that's what it took to get here.
@nolegirl4god
What "poison"??? Lmfao. People being educated?? You're completely clueless. This anti education thing is typical right wing brainwashing. We're already getting our azzes kicked by the Japanese, Koreans and Chinese, as well as the European Union countries. Making America Dumber (MAD) is not the solution to anything, other than a decline in America's strength and productivity. Its the lazy azz idiot philosophy. 🙄 Grow up.
Yep and modern day parents are also to blame. The idea that you only have to parent for 18yrs and then your child is "on their own" or that a child that still lives at home after 18 is some kind of free-loader and if you allow it, your child will never "grow up". Its unfortunate because young adults still need a lot of guidance, especially at a time in their lives when they are expected to make good decisions for their future.
I'm 26 and living at home like a kid ..I feel like I'm 13 age is just a number 🤩
There needs to be some kind of balance. Once a child is 18 they can either leave the house or they can stay, but if they choose to stay they have more responsibilities. They should have to grow up a little like getting a job and paying for some of their own expenses (especially fun expenses) there are too many adults still at home doing nothing. These kids need good parenting to learn how to grow up slowly not all at once like with moving away to college. Thats when you make the most mistakes when you are not guided. We aren't birds, we should be children until we are pushed out of the nest into the real world.
Lots of times after wasting 4 years in college, the "children" go home to mooch off the parents. Seldom do they contribute financially to the parental home.
Excellent points made!!👍 Community college is also much less expensive and can be done without student loans without putting financial stress on the student or the family!
I aish I lived in a place where my son can stay with me, even as he is about to enter his 20s in weeks. But thankfully his dad has his own home so my son can at least stay there.
@@lolakauffmann
It is sad they don't make minimum wage high enough for late teens/early 20s to live on comfortably and not need to depend on two jobs with no sleep and not need to depend on roommates, seeing how sometimes roommates not work out.
@@holyexperience1976 I'm the same age as your son, my parents let me live with them while I go to school and work. Since I don't have any bills, I can save every penny I make. I wouldn't be so set financially if it weren't for them. I'm very thankful for them and I would let my future kid(s) do the same.
I went to college at 18 and honestly I should have waited a year because I wasn't ready, but I honestly didn't start doing dumb stuff until about a year later. In hindsight, I'm really happy I went through all of that, though. It showed me the importance of treating my freedom with responsibility. I've always been very close to my parents, though, so I'm fortunate that they guided me through some of my roughest years. Now I have two Masters degrees, I'm about to finish my PhD, and I'm a college professor myself. I would never give up my education, as it has afforded me all of the opportunities I've had in my life... but I agree that college can be a really dangerous place for many reasons if you don't have stable social and familial support.
I'll admit that I used to be a total snob about community colleges, but now I really love them as a way for students to get general education classes out of the way before they go to 4 year universities, while simultaneously growing up and still having the influence and security of family. But I do think we need to be teaching young women to be independent and to stand on their own.
If young people fall into those bad patterns when they leave home for college it means that they did not internalise their family's "morals". Their family did not instil values in them but only enforced them by restricting what their children could do. When the young adults leave home the restrictions their parents imposed on them fall away and they have no reason to follow these "morals" anymore. This is where is shows whether their behaviour is intrinsically motivated by the values they hold or if it was extrinsically motivated by restrictions imposed by their parents. So the problem is not that young people are no longer with their families, the problem is that their families failed to transfer their values when they were raising their children. And it is when the children leave their home when this shows.
Advocating for community college as in this video does not fix this. What it does is keep the young adults under the control of their parents for longer. It is a way to cover up the failure of the parents to raise their children with certain values.
I think this is the key that she's missing. Completely right, keeping the kids at home longer just extends the parents' authority over them. The kids aren't staying grounded because they're instilled with that ability, their parents are just keeping them in line for longer.
Finally, someone with common sense.
My Turn!!!!!!!! Estee, yes! Father of two, super young now (just 2 1/2 and 3 months), but yeah, we need this perspective more. We live with both sets of grandparents within 10 miles of us except half of the family snowbirds. Even at 31 and 28, having this love and support for us is huge. College.... yes... just no. I went to Harvard and the Air Force Academy and man Harvard is truly not where I would ever send my daughter or son for that matter.
I love your point about local schooling. My school has a 4 year, a community college, and the Air Force Academy in our backyard. After going to harvard for a year, I knew that I wanted to be close to home at the Air force academy was luckily an option right there.
My mom is a loan officer and one of the coolest things she shared with me is that she is seeing families move closer to whatever university or place their kids relocate to because they realize that connection is so important.
That connection had been severed in value for a while. I think that are going to be some sweet communities like this one where people of similar values will have safe havens and be the lifeboats for their families to preserve values and continue to grow as society might be moving left and right. Family is the pillar that my life that I choose to be built on.
They want to separate children from their parents so that they can indoctrinate them without any interference. Thanks for the video!
👍👍👍
@@lolakauffmannThere’s three definitions of child.
1. a young human being below the age of puberty or below the legal age of majority.
2. a son or daughter of any age.
3. an immature or irresponsible person.
Use common sense, in this case we’re obviously talking about the second definition
Are their morals and beliefs that weak where they’ll be indoctrinated at the big bad ol college?
Your children aren't your property you dingus
In my country, most people stay at their parent's home while going to university, except if they need to move to another state. It's better to stay with your family while you're at university because you save a lot of money. Also if you can do uni online, do it. You'll save TONS of money, since you don't even have to pay public/private transport to go there, or pay for physical books/stationary/etc. My boyfriend studied his degrees from his parent's home, too.
Going to a school far away from my immediate family is the best thing I ever chose to do. I love my family dearly but we bring out the worst in each other. I chose a city with much of my extended family, who I am also close with, because I value the safety net and social values of family, but I couldn’t stay local. My parents have become so dysfunctional in recent years, and me moving far away forced them to step back up into my little siblings lives and fulfill the roles that I had been taking on for years.
I think you discredit university students too much; I’ve never felt pressured into promiscuity or drug use or alcoholism, because that’s just not in my personal values. Chances are that whether someone stays local or ventures far, their intrinsic moral character will eventually show through.
I think you are onto something here! I was truly blessed to live with my grandmother when I went to college - she lived close by and it was wonderful to have her by my side as I learned how to be more independent.
To anyone who wants to go college go to community College first. Get all the remedial courses done there. Also explorer what you want to do there. By doing this you'll safe alot of cash and possibly not get into debt or have very little of it.
I respectfully agree to disagree. The reason we go away to college is to better ourselves make your generation better than the past one better the species if you will. Your family that you grew up with until 12th grade was to prepare you for the challenges of college yes the drugs sex and alcohol. They were to develop your moral and mental compass so when you did go away you made good choices. I am sorry love but there are different levels of colleges and different levels of people at these institutions. In order to better yourself & the species you need to challenge yourself and do the hard thing rather then the comfortable thing. Personally I never had the opportunity to go away to college and have that experience I went to school during the day and drove trucks at night. I missed out on spring breaks summers off and all the college experiences normal kids had. I did have what other college kids didn’t get and that was experiences. Driving trucks I went to all different kinds of factories and facilities I learned about the supply chain how things were made and got from point A to B & everything thing in between. I went to garment factories to lawn mower factories. I delivered some of the first computer chip boards to the navy’s submarines. I graduated with a 2.9 but was probably smarter than the valedictorian. Anyway the point is experiencing is priceless and staying with in one’s comfort zone of home and family is nice and safe but it is limiting.We have an obligation to provide opportunity to the next generation and the path to that is partially by experience. Some day you will have kids and you will want the bed for them the best thing you can give them is opportunity don’t limit them.
Agree, this supposed connection between drinking/drug use and going to college is speculative at best. I wouldn’t be surprised if drinking and drug use was just as prevalent among young people who don’t go to college or go to college locally. Ultimately, each person should do what is right for them, whether that means staying close to home or moving away. I suspect this is a deliberately inflammatory statement meant to provoke social media engagement.
Colleges aren’t the problem, the cost is. Also, one can still live at home and go to college. It’s more of a movie stereotypical thing that you’re “supposed to” move far away to go to college. It’s also not difficult to maintain a relationship with your family, even if you do move far away.
Wanting an education is never wrong. Sorrynotsorry
This is stupid. Your family can still guide you if your away from them. You don’t have to live with them forever neither do you have to move out instantly. This is just another end of the extreme.
Not only that, there is a lot politics going on in universities. I didn’t continue going. I thank God I didn’t. I still hope for the upcoming generation to do new things, not taking the college path, and start businesses of their own, who are pro-family, pro-community, and pro-entrepreneur. Good video, Estee. 👍🏾
I love how Estee Williams only likes the comments that she agrees with and are fully in her favor. Weak woman who can't handle criticism.
(And that's coming from me, someone who disagrees with everything about feminism, drugs, or casual sex).
Fantastic advice for both young ladies and men! Staying grounded while furthering education and career will lead to the most fruitful outcome. Excellent advice Estee!
Thank you so much 😊
I decided not to go to college for 2 main reason. One because I didn't know what I wanted to do or the debit that goes along with it. Two I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Just like my mother. I have been married for 5 years and on baby number 2. Raising my kids has been the best thing I could ever do.
This was reflective during Covid as well regarding families. Many people think 18 and I'm out.
Polynesian families, Asian and many non-Western originated families, reaped the benefits of large families in one house. My Samoan family all pulled together with food and resources. Many Filipino friends of mine did the same.
I’m age 30. I don’t have children, never been married and went for my associates degree.
I am soooo happy to be where I’m at! I encourage all women to go this route.
Remember some white women will always talk from a place of privilege. It is okay to see them as kids yapping to piss of their parents instead of actual adults with life experiences z
Thank you so much for addressing this!! I was pretty much forced to go to college, it was my mom's rule that I graduate before me and my long-term boyfriend could get married. I lived on campus but didn't get involved with any of the drugs, sex, or alcohol, and my college was just a couple towns away from my mom's house so I went home every weekend to go to church and get away from all the peer pressure. I remember being told so firmly by professors and "student mentors" not to go home at all in those first few weeks. I'm so glad I didn't listen to them, going home on the weekends is probably the only reason I stuck with it and graduated successfully. Now I look back and get a little creeped out at how much they didn't want me to go home and see my family and friends.
LOVE this message! And this is coming from a woman who went to university, lived in another state and got her masters. Community College all the way. Young people have no idea how corrupt these facilities are and they are often unprepared for it.
I agree that community colleges are a great option for many young adults. They’re much cheaper and more practical for many people. My biggest problem with college is how expensive it is - in today’s world, going away to an expensive college is not necessary at all for success. College debt is a huge and avoidable problem!
To your main point, though, I think you’re right that there’s a push to go away. But we all have different personalities. When I was 18, I was so excited and ready to go away to college, but my parents wanted me to do what you did. It was devastating for me. Then there are people like you who prefer to stay near home. Both are great - we should all make our own personal decision. And for some, that means not going to college at all and learning a trade instead.
That's right, ladies! Cultivating an intellect is BAD for you and is threatening to men. How dare you pursue university? )Also take note, I am not saying that going to college is THE way to go; there are tons of people who come out of college still stupid as anything and just have a paper degree that allows them to get a better job). Her perspective is terrible: she forgets that men and women are equal in intellect, and therefore ANYONE can have a calling to the humanities, the liberal arts, the sciences, being a truck driver, etc. Again, not saying that college is the only way to become formed in this way, but it's helpful and my grandmother who grew up in WW2 Germany to this day at age 86 laments how she could not attend university and get a degree because the whole of Germany was in ruins and no one had money. But I DO AGREE that in general, going away at the age of 18 as opposed to staying close to home (if family envionrment is not abusive etc) is TOO early for a young adult. It does contribute I think to "experimentation" etc but I was raised by 4 grandparents and so I was driven towards the idea of not inflicting any harm on myself emotionally or physically, nor onto anyone else, ie drinking, sex etc.
A good rule of them [for anyone] is to ask: does the program/degree name correspond to a job title? if the answer is no - watch out.
I wished I moved out earlier. I moved away for college when I was 25. It helped me to seperate from my mother. We had an enmeshed too close relationship and it was very unhealthy for my psyche and my development as an adult. I wished I did it earlier. I recommend to all young people. MOVE OUT AS SOON AS YOU ARE 20
I’m so glad I was never smart enough or had the money to do a four year college, it’s way too expensive and I do feel like it’s a waste of time. I ended up going to a vocational school where it was A LOT cheaper (I don’t have anymore school debt) and you are in school less. Also I went from living with my mom until I was 20, then moving across the country to live with my grandma, and I was with her until my 30s when she passed away.
I went to college and never partied drank alcohol or did drugs. You can go to college and not be influenced by the toxic party culture. Some people just want a chance to get an education.
If the parents provide a solid upbringing, good moral values etc. Then they should be confident that those values will stay with their children regardless where they go in life. Also, back in the 50s women went to college and it was used as a great opportunity to meet successful husbands.
Please do a fashion channel or include details of where you got your clothes. Thank you!
The problem is not college then, it's one's education before college and the culture of casual sex/drugs. Encouraging someone to not go to college is 100% throwing the baby out with the bath water.
If the kids were taught really good moral and were taught well, distance is not a problem.
Men need to go to trade school, women need to embrace family. Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Trade school is highly underrated! My husband is an electrician his schooling was very cheap and no debt with that and no matter what he will always be needed and have a job! Completely agree!
So all men need to be plumbers, HVAC techs, electricians and car repairmen. So who will be the doctors, engineers, scientists, businessmen, entrepreneurs who own companies, lawyers, architects, judges, biologists, chemists,etc etc.
And all women just should stay at home and spread her legs when her man gets home on command.
How stupid can people be? Wow.
I'm a middle age Mom of 6. 3 boys, 3 girls all of which went to college away from home.
My kids had firm boundaries while at home. They were taught good manners, good values. They were taught to love and respect themselves and others. They had responsibilities while home and were free to make mistakes (without us bailing them out everytime from the consequences)
I never feared them going away to college because I knew they had already learned the most important things and KNEW right from wrong.
They are all married now with great spouses, half are parents a few times over already.
While I enjoy your channel and some views I disagree with the premise you make about college.
College is a time for testing and exploration but as long as kids (girls AND boys) have a good base they will do fine.
The moral structure comes from how you have been raised for years prior to becoming college age. IF you were raised with sound moral values, those values are with you wherever you are, at home or away from home on a college campus.
Completely agree! Community college and then local state college or university is the way to go (if someone decides to go to college). Plus, commuting to school saves a ton of money. The only exception I can think of is if you want to major in something very specialized that isn’t offered at colleges near home.
I agree with you 100%. I moved away for college, it was totally unnecessary. The environment was as you describe it- and it made me uncomfortable cause that’s not my scene at all. Dealing with roommates in a small dorm room was a nightmare on top of all that. I finally had enough and moved home. Agree with you that it can be isolating. If someone has to move away for college would suggest a single dorm room or an apartment with a trusted person.
I understand not everyone experiences college like Ester described it but it was exactly like that for me.
Agreed that community college is the best route- saves you a ton of money as well. Thank you for sharing this solid advice.
I am 22 and in college. This is my first year. The first two years are online and the last two in person. The problem for me is all the colleges in my area are more liberal so i had to choose an out of state college that has my same beliefs. When i move to Texas for my last 2 years my sister is coming and we are living off campus. We will even have to travel 2 hours to go to Church. But yes if you are not well grounded in your beliefs or faith then yes influence will be easier.
Why do you have to stay in a bubble of your own beliefs? You know the world is pretty diverse, right?
@AudreyPerry The world is very tempting, and putting myself in an occasion of sin is wrong and a sin itself, especially since I consciously knew it. The world is "diverse" only in the wrong ways excepting the LGBTQ, drag queens performing for toddlers, making fun of Christians.
It's a nice touch to frame going to community college as a deliberate choice now, when it's more than likely that at the time it was the only option to get your education. Don't shame people for getting into and going to a farther away university by pretending your only option is actually the better choice.
Good points but I needed to get away from my toxic family. Not sure college was the best for me but I needed away from my family.
I'm going to college because I want to study philosophy, and it's the thing I love most. I know that I will enjoy it and it's going to be great. I'm not going to party, I'm going to study, learn, and get my degree. It's good to get out of your house and be your own person if you know what you're going to do.
What about if you come from an abusive household??? When I was a kid my mom was very very strict and I was made to stay in my room and be quiet at all times, not to come out unless called for dinner or needed for something. I wasn't allowed to leave the house other then for school. While at school I was strictly instructed not to speak to anyone who wasn't a school staff member. I wasn't allowed to Rome the store alone when we went out. If my mom ever lost sight of me out in public she would scream like a banchie being murdered until she found me. I have anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, and autism....it was torcher growing up with a strict mom like that and all I wanted to do was get away from her and her stupid rules. She told me I was never going be able to learn to drive until I showed her my driver's license as proof that I knew how to drive.....let that sink it. I struggle to leave my house every day due to all my mental problems. I struggle to find and keep a job. Once in 3rd grade I tried making a friend and went to her house for a play day and my mom busted in the door screaming and threatened the other girls parents saying she's gonna call the cops on them for kidnapping me. My mom would always say to me I had to stay locked up in the house where she knew I was safe cuz people in the outside world wanted to hurt/kidnap/murder me. My mom died back in 2020 and I'm still struggling with all the issues she caused me. I'm afraid to leave my house in fear of something bad happening to me, I can't go anywhere without constant support, and being around people I've never met makes my anxiety sky rocket to plant Neptune and I get Shakey and scared and I can't think straight and I'll either start crying or completely shut down and won't respond to anyone or anything cuz I'm paralyzed with fear........I would have given anything as a young teen to get away from that kind of situation. I was forced to go to generic public school but when I asked to go to college to become a Chief cuz I love to cook she forbid it and told me just to go and get a job in a fast food place...I did that and I ended up having a total mental breakdown and lost my mind and literally went insane and had to go to an inpatient hospital and be on meds cuz I couldn't Handel it anymore. I've been living on my own for a couple years now, I've had a couple jobs but can't seem to stay in one place for more then a couple months. Been jobless for over 3 months now and if I don't find something nothing the next 2 weeks I'll lose all my possessions, my apartment, everything and I'll be homeless and no where to go and no one to turn to. I'm alone, down on my luck, and I don't know how to fix it
Hi Alice, I'm so sorry about everything you're going through 😢
I also thought about that too, about people who come from abusive households, it's better for them to get out of that environment since it's very unhealthy. Some people do need the independence away from their family to help them heal and escape the trauma.
Do you have a GoFundMe or a PayPal where we can help you out? It breaks my heart to hear that you'd lose everything you have and go homeless. You deserve a stable and healthy life. I pray to god with all my heart that you'll receive that and many more good things that give you peace and joy.
Please let me know if there's any way we can help you out. I'm sending you all the love. Hang in there pal, I pray you will make it through. You are more amazing than you think ❤
You need Jesus. And a good church. Find yourself that and start going every Sunday.
Cab you find a job where you dint have to interact with people?
I feel like this is true to an extent. I have been to both community college and university (currently at uni) and honestly the situation is the same. If young adults want to engage in this culture they will do it regardless where they are because they will still be influenced by their peers. I went to a community college in my small island and many took drugs, drunk alcohol and have hook-ups at a young age (17-18) while living with their parents. I am currently at uni and the situation is exactly the same here. The best thing that can be done is educating kids about this from a young age so they make sound decisions when they are older. Fortunately, despite media projecting a different idea, younger generations are having a lot less risky sex and they are taking less drugs than previous generations (in general and at university). They are a lot more educated about these issues than many other people were.
Let's say that all parents are qualified to guide their 18 year old daughter/son in life (which is not the case in real life - children can be smarter and more mature than their parents). No matter how great the parents are, there are some things that a person never gets to discover about her/himself, unless they experience them. Not all people are the same, not all people are fulfilled by the same things in life. Not all people are happy by doing the same things in life. 18 years old is a critical age where the person needs to be free to experience life on their own, and figure out who they are, and what they want out of life.
Great message ☺️ I went a 9 hr train ride from my home town to university. At the university town, it was just one big debaucherous party after the next with learning in between. I'm surprised all of us graduated and got jobs etc. I wouldn't recommend it to my two kids though
I was able to escape a home of poverty, domestic violence, and parental drug abuse to go to college and begin to find a healthier, safer home-life and craft what a new day-to-day looked like for me. I was the first in my family to finish high school and then first to get a college degree, and it helped me get where I am today. I'm happy and debt free, and got to learn so much and live so much by moving out on my own. It may have even saved my life, and now I get to give back. Just cause there was drugs, drinking, and partying in the environment doesn't mean you'll personally do all that. Lots of kids I knew in college snorted coke. I have never tried it, cause I just don't wanna. Also it's not only at college. Sometimes it's in the family and you can use being away for education to have some chill quiet time and form the opposite lifestyle. This sounds like someone was sheltered and privileged before going to school...not relevant to a lot of young women.
College was the only way i was going to escape my small village in Norther Michigan. Both my parents were Catholics, drug addict and alcoholic, and neither went to college. But i went to college and it saved my life. My degree gave me the ability to rely on myself and not end up trapped in a situation where I depend on a man. I can provide for myself. Along with my skills, grit, friends, and partner, i am becoming "self-realized". I am building relationships with others professionally, and, within my community. I have self-esteem that i earned thru challenging not only myself but societal norms that tell women every day not to pursue success.
I agree that there are issues on campuses these days, but I am not sure community college is the answer anymore because the quality of education has declined in recent years. I know what I'm saying since I have spent 25 years teaching in higher education, and a chunk of that time has been at community colleges. Right now I work at a commuter campus that once offered a great education for our students at an affordable price in a variety of academic areas and career paths. However, things went downhill a few years ago when we partnered with the local school district to create a dual credit/magnet school program for what were supposed to be their "best" academic students. Needless to say, things have not worked out that way. Indeed, our traditional students, who were once our strength, now opt to attend one of our different campuses or outside of our community college district altogether since they have no wish to relive the chaos they just left at their respective high schools. As the school district throws its weight around (which is easy since they provide maybe 85% of our students now that they have chased off our traditional enrollment), our campus has changed, which includes the quality of our instructors and the education students can receive. The associate of arts degree has suffered, and I would not recommend it to prospective students anymore...I am sorry to say this, and I owe much to my experience at a community college where I earned my AA in the mid-1990s. However, what I say is true. Let me just offer you one example. I was department chair, and we had an opening. I had an excellent candidate who had his Ph.D. and 20 years experience that included awards for teaching and publications in his field. Then I was told that a former faculty member, someone who had been trouble for me and her colleagues, was applying for the position she had resigned 7 months previously. I was concerned because, first, this person had left us midyear without much warning, which meant that perhaps half of our courses in her department were left without an instructor. Second, I had concerns about her teaching: I had had to write her up for instructing students to use QuillBot (which is a well-known “text-spinner” that students use to get around originality scores on TurnItIn) to “paraphrase” a secondary text for sections of what were intended to be submitted and assessed as original work; she also failed to cover or discuss challenging ideas, concepts, and texts that she expected students to take a major test on or write about for an important paper, and she expected some of my academic support staff to teach these things for her: I had tutors and coordinators teaching 30 students in individual sessions in a 2 week period the stuff she could have taught once in a class so that my colleagues could cover more basics such as proofreading, problem-solving, etc. My poor tutors could not get a break because her students gummed up the calendar for 2 weeks and all the other students had wait, so my staff did not have a lull for a month, and they were exhausted! Anyway, to make a long story short, we had to rehire this former faculty member rather than the excellent candidate who would have been better for our students. One reason was because of administrative favoritism and also because of pressure from the school district, who basically just want more of these dual credit students to pass with college credit whether those credits mean anything or not. This is not to say that there aren't many great community colleges out there that do not do these sorts of things...but I'd wager that they are becoming more of the exception than the rule. Be careful about community colleges.
The young 16-18 year old learner was me and I loved it. Not sure there's any one "best" student for community college, hopefully one that pays attention and pays tuition.
The best is online study...and being autistic it's hard to follow the strict rigid rules of college conduct plus the jungle like wild environment of university. I would want the best of both worlds so it's possible at home with youtube kind of ..just have to keep laziness in check...
Assuming that these students come from good supportive families 🤨 Some are eager to escape their terrible families 🤷🏻♀️ and some do find strong sense of community and support in university even amongst, and in spite of, the crazy environment.
I hear ya! College is an extremely artificial environment--not necessarily in the people you meet or what you learn, but in the environment itself. The real world is nothing like a college campus. I'm incredibly grateful that I was able to commute to college classes and get a degree while still living at home and reimmerse myself daily in my home life. I think there is something to be said, of course, for getting a higher education, and this tends to be overlooked or discredited by some folks who promote the "tradwife" lifestyle. I don't blame them, because of the toxicity of the college environment, but you've put a very balanced view on it. Keep this up, Estee!
Totally agree!!
I'm attending community college and could not agree more! I plan on staying at home and choosing a nearby uni so I can be with my family as well. Im glad to see someone putting this out here ❤
The morals I grew up with were not supportive, not traditional, not religious. Moving away helped me get in touch with that. That is also the point of college, learning who you want to be independent of what your parents want you to be. You are your own person, not an extension of your parents.
As a mother who just took her daughter to University about 2 1/2 hrs away this is hard to hear. I understand your point but you forget personal
Responsibility. I think as parents we raise them the best we can, instilling good values and morals as best we can. Preparing them to become independent persons of their own. I went to college for 4 years. I made some stupid choices but I
Managed to graduate with honors and always put studying first. I believe this will be a huge growth opportunity for my daughter who is doing pre-med. She knows that her Father and I are here for her always. I talk to her daily so she knows I love her and want to be there for her. Some kids aren’t ready to move away and go to a big college and so community college is the right choice for them.
Not everyone’s lucky enough to have a “family with morals and values”
I'm sorry you don't have that, you are in a great place here, I hope you can find a group that supports you and you can grow a "family" and community for yourself
Moving away from home can teach you a lot about responsibility, the value of a dollar, the importance of cleaning up after yourself, managing your time, setting a budget etc. Finding your own community of people who share similar values and/or critically thinking about the values you were raised with is an important part of becoming an adult (imo).
I totally agree, Estee! I see that in my country too, but still there are teenagers who can’t afford moving to the big cities to go to college and decide to study online or in universities at their hometowns. I did everything online, didn’t want to be separated from my family and I wouldn’t let myself be forced to do what I didn’t want to, the things that you mentioned. 18 is still too young to move out, many claim to be mature, obviously, but they’re clearly not and just want to experiment in life. That’s when bad things can happen. Especially in the last couple of years with the awful indoctrination and massive wokeness going on in colleges.
That's a great option. There's no reason why people need to go far away to have a 4-year college "pajama party" with drugs, liquor and sex.
Thank you for your input! It’s very sad to see a young person go into college and come out different in many bad ways. The indoctrination is a huge part of it and like you said the culture of peer pressure that even the most mentally strong people have bent to because naturally we want to be accepted by the environment we are in
Ideally yes, however families can be the most toxic environments in the world...so appears you have a great family.
In my experience it is really contingent on the situation
Oh my gosh, someone ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME. My husband had to teach me about this. I did the 4 year university, the debt, the waiting for kids to pay off the debt. My husband had to tell me about how this affected my life. DUDE. Now I can teach my children. Don’t go with the status quo! Don’t go just for an experience!!! So much regret! But thank you Jesus I can teach my baby girl.
YES, I was influenced by the college culture, and I try not to live in regret, but now I'm thankful to have come out of it. I am with my wonderful husband (who also was influenced by that culture) and we both want a better future for our kids instead of "typical college".
Forgive yourself it’s over, you are not the only one. God bless your family.
@@GabrielandEmanuel thank you for your encouragement! Yes, Satan tried to keep me in that place of shame and embarrassment, but thank God I am a new creation in Christ! God bless you too!
Well... Hearing you talk about the isolation of youngsters in college, I immediately thought of the way abusers isolate their victims from their friends and family.
It's odd that "liberated" women know so much about abusive relationships, yet they fail to recognise one when it's forced upon entire generations by the system
You have a good point here and I too have noticed that these women have been in abusive relationships the most
@@EsteeWilliams maybe being raised this way by the university system instead of their families, abuse is the only thing they know by the time they reach the age of a "serious relationship", if we can speak of seriousness in modern people
Oh my gosh, this is the best thing I ever heard. I still needed my parents in my mid twenties.
Growing up I hated school and the indoctrination. The thought of actually PAYING to go to school was absolutely repulsive… the pressure society puts on women work like dogs fr companies and men who don’t care about them… sad honestly . And giving women a false sense of accomplishment because of a piece of paper… pure deception. College and career is just a outlet for women who don’t see being a devoted wife & mother as something they want… and women who “try” to balance career, being a mom, and wife are 9 times outta 10 giving their best to their jobs/bosses and giving their husbands/children their sloppy seconds and that’s how it always ends up, whether those women like to admit it. Cause truth is a woman CANNOT do it all.
I don't get it? Why are you shaming women for having careers? You know not every single woman wants to settle down and have kids?
I think you're seeing it too one-sidedly. Yes, it can be a problem when young people have to move away from their families, but that is not always the case (I first lived with my family and later with my future husband when I was studying). It can be that young people in a city experience bad things (drug use, wrong friends), but this also happens in families. There can also be drug problems in a family and children can be abused, so that young people want to break out. Always staying in a family can mean stability, but also that you never look outside your own box and never question your attitude - it depends on the family you were born into.
Very good point. A lot of women also get sexually assaulted in these environments. I’m from Europe so I went to college in my city which has quite a few universities. I feel blessed that I was able to do that. I also got married young, at 23 and we’ve been together 25 years now. Still my soulmate.
If boys are assaulting girls in college then the problem for girls isn't college but boys in college. An all girls college would fix that.
You've done it again! Made a perfectly logical argument for something wholesome. ❤
Lol anyone who doesn’t realize this is all for views is truly gullible
of course it is, her takes are as superficial as her idea of t"rad wife", I wonder what would she say or look like if she lived in 1700-1800 lower working class family.....one dumb take after another, surface level thinking, blaming others for poor parenting & lack of personal responsibility, thinking college is useless, thing independence whi is what beaches people responsibility equals isolation & ton of contradiction.....if she cared as much as she pretends anybe she could start a campaign to clear the places off of drugs & started conversation about morals FOR ALL, instead she blames college for seX & drugs, college a place that is & has always been FOR EDUCATION ONLY no more no less.....
Not only for views, but for fraud and right wing z Christian Evangelical indoctrination. She's part of the same group that is anti education, anti learning, anti books, pro book banning and burning. I will bet big $$$ she is being paid via a right wing Christian PAC.
Hmm some of us have crappy parents. It's a privilege to have a family with morals.
I didn't pay attention to toxic college stereotypes. I focused on getting my degree and barely had sex (and regretted it when I did). If you have the privilege of a good family, good for you, but remember that you're lucky. The most immoral, unsupportive people in my life have been family. I like you and your lifestyle just please remember that we were all born into different circumstances.
Agree. But the word you want is impressionable, not influential. Not a big deal among friends, but for a public speaker people will pick you apart for it. It's the great message that matters
I love the IDEA of higher education, but the cost of it and the way it promotes indoctrination is a big turnoff. Community college is a great way to get your basics done cheap before transferring to a university for your major! (Just make sure beforehand they will accept all your credit hours!) Also, I wish that we had more ways to apprentice. Yes, plumbers and electricians apprentice for years, but it would be amazing if white collar jobs would take on the apprenticeship model instead of forcing people into unpaid, overworked internships and volunteering in order to gain experience.
Yeah, anyone who holds a license to practice had to have those hard years in college and I’m sure we’re all thankful they took that journey. 😬 Also, while our trades are incredibly valuable and we desperately need more in these fields, not everyone is cut out for a trade.
She didn’t have the grades for a four year. Funny , her sister when to havard.
I went to college for about 2 years. Eventually dropped out and am working a fast food job. College is definitely not for everyone and I do feel it shouldn't be pushed on everyone as it is. My mental health was not the best when I attended and it didn't improve. I ended up preferring to work than attend so I dropped out to work fulltime. My mental health has recovered somewhat and I may give online college a shot one day. But for me the isolation was overwhelming and part of the reason my mental health suffered. I knew no one and making friends was hard. I avoided all partying so that may have been part of the reason why 😅 I also drove about 11/2 hours to get there and back almost every single day. The commute eventually took its toll.
So much sheltering and privilege here
Yes you are privileged
Your experience may have been fear about leaving your family, but most women who go to university get a great education and go on to be independent and successful. In most countries education is afforadable and acceessible, unlike the US. If women choose to stay home that's fine, but it'd be a terrible waste of intelligene if all women were made to stay home. Isn't it wonderful that we live in a world where women can make their own choices?
This is so true. We are the only culture that does this.
Completely false. Yet another dummy. Europeans are more independent, cultured, educated and advanced at much earlier ages then Americans.
No we are definitely not. Wtf Lolol