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Bring Gottman into relationships
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- Опубліковано 12 лип 2023
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Bring Gottman into relationships
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Dr. John Gottman talks about how one person in the relationship can have a tendency to be hypersensitive to negativity. Almost like they’re looking for something to be negative then it can be magnified and then distorted. That puts the other partner in a defensive position to have to explain themselves then non-validation comes into play then accusations of gaslighting come into play. Do either of you experience this
Yes, me!
Yeah me too. I think the key is to stop that cycle, so I guess not begin explaining yourself...? Have you ever come across Billy Eddy's work on HCPs? If you look up BIFF responses and EAR statements they might help when things begin to get heated
5 to 1. I love that. I’m going to remember to use that in our family.
For me, it goes away once I feel the other person truly undersrands me and takes me seriously. Once that's established I don't second-guess them anymore and always assume they come from a positive place and didn't mean something in a bad way even if it sounded like it initially; I give them the opportunity to correct themselves and they usually do, if they don't I have to reevaluate (first my position, then my trust in them).
To clarify, the 5:1 rule is the case DURING conflict. When there is no conflict going on the ratio is actually 20:1. The Gottmans specify this in their interviews.
She fucking interrupted him few seconds in LOLOL
Glad this could be conveyed and was respectfully received.
This is really good
This girl cuts the guy off a lot.
Your eyes are so blue🤩
Thank you.
Has Gorman researched or created protocols for couples who have one partner who suffered from severe addiction and then recovered? This population needs help to rebuild their uniquely destroyed relationship.
Great video, you can tell she has finally settle into her person, her spouse. Question tho I was trying to follow the other videos (ps great video on how you two compromise with intimacy). Have you been married three times or only two times. Also could you do a video about funks women get in where they hate men don’t want to live with one and think that all women think this way?
I wouldn't call it a "funk" I would call it trauma lmao