You 2 have covered a lot of interesting ideas here. It's pretty funny how the mating game has changed since the smartphone took off. I'm 40, male, single, Australian, and I want to start a balanced system for Global Group Marriages that are developed for Sophisticated Humans, Capable of Ethical Non-Monogamy. Strategically it could be used to create an alternative to the UN that is based on love that is closer to a "love of all" than any existing models, in a business context it could allow for many macro opportunities, in a cultural sense it would empower cross cultural understanding, in a travel sense it would empower easy visa's and trusted guides, in a family planning sense there would be many ways to logically or rationally set up childbearing to optimize for a variety of metrics and support both men and women's needs and desires. It's definitely complicated but I'd love it, and I am inclined to believe that sometime in the near future, it will become a reality. I'm just working out how to build a wearable VR/AR hive mind "Aura of intelligence" to manage the system via wearable smart devices and the internet of things. What do you think from a USA or UK perspective?
So no one is talking about the men traveling out the country to find woman who don’t have as high expectations. The solution isn’t to kill yourself but to find a different market. There is a simple solution. The box 📦 is the one you put yourself in. The world is vast. This might not be a game men wish to play. There are other boards.
As a woman who's in my mid 30s, I have zero desire to have kids ever. And I know quite a few woman who share my sentiment. Motherhood does not benefit woman.
Not sure where he is getting his data. I just read that in 2019 about 30% of men gave up on long term relationships or hookups. In 2023 it’s now 50% that have given up on hookups and relationships. Guys are giving up because the vast majority of wømen are sharing the top 20 percent of men (maybe even less, like the top 10%). This is likely only going to get worse, not better.
When it became obvious that I wasn't going to get married and start a family, I checked out and began living within my means. Such a lifestyle brought me peace and a certain degree of fulfillment I could have never achieved working myself to the bone for nothing.
What's your secret? Sounds like you have achieved a type of zen. I'm at point of trying to let things that bother me go. Actually,has nothing to do with this topic. I am divorced and have always had to be self reliant. I'm grateful that I was reared that way,because I needed that mindset. And agree with you!
The more I listen to people speak on this topic, the less appealing dating and being with someone becomes for me. Mating retention strategies and hypergamy...it's reduced to a base science where we're all animals and loyal only to our own biological and evolutionary needs. There's no love, no loyalty, just cold, clinical terms and basic phenomena. Idk something about it just kills my drive to date, have sex, or engage in any of it. I see why society always romanticized love and marriage. Because without it, "mating" is just another biological rat race and seeing it for what it is takes all the joy and pleasure out of it.
Idk if I can ever look at men, women, and interpersonal relationships the same way again. If you want to avert a mating crisis, you're doing a really shitty job of it lol.
Yeah, I've listened to a number of these mating crisis, men are sexless, men are doing badly, and so on podcasts and all they do is suck away my energy and make me feel hopeless and frustrated when I usually wasn't feeling that way at all before listening to the podcast. Even if they're saying things that are true, none of these discussions have been helpful in any way to me so far. I really need to stop clicking on them. All these podcasts are doing is giving men a victim complex like every other group on every side of any issue in society these days.
@@flynnoflenniken7402 There is a reason there is a saying ignorance is bliss. Here is the harsh reality. The few times women have come on to me in my life in all instances they were a 3. (this in real life not on dating apps) I do not play with 3s. I have no interest and I do not use them just for sex as I think that would be rude. I am probably a 4 or 5 maybe. I am 20 to 30 pounds overweight 5ft 7 inches. I get 0 interest on hinge I have sent over 120 messages never sent a dic pic or anything of the sort. You can either understand womens nature or live with your head in the stand but you can not do both. The majority of the attractive women in society only want the top 5 or 10 percent of men. Most are materialistic whores. If they got an instagram with 1000s of followers forget about it.
Im definitely part of the 30% that's just given up. Call me pessimistic but I just dont see a future with a partner, which is sad as I'd love to share life with someone. Relationships are just too complex now, it's not worth the potential emotional stress. In addition the behaviour I see from both males but especially females on social media sites is unbelievably cringeworthy!
Good people are still available they are just very difficult to connect with today unfortunately. Which is odd with so much tech today. But research shows the tech or social media is actually making us lonelier. I've been single since my sons mom left me over 10yrs ago. I have not given up but it seems to be a lost cause to approach women nowadays so I just stopped looking until I happen to bump into my soulmate if it never happens simple I die alone but I keep improving myself thinking eventually I will meet someone. Living in a small town really makes it tough.
@dariuspalmer2829 social media is everywhere nowadays. It's, not just social media. The things that have changed is how we have been influenced through different social channels. Prior to the radio, life was very simple. The radio bought an element of the outside world into our home lives, then we had the television this gave us even more exposure to the outside world. I believe all this outside influence adds to the complexity of life. We're are now at a stage where most of the Western world walk about with a phone in their hand, the phone brings the world to your finger tips in an instant! People now have so many options. I would say people in parts of the world that are less developed are probably emotionally a little more happy as they still have that element of simplicity in their lives.
@@SP-cx2qi I disagree with the first part and not in the way you think and I agree with this the second part. What you have to understand is one alot of the content and things you seen online aren't an actual representation often times of what people actually believe its a snapshot of one aspect of their behaviour and doesn't capture the entirety of their beliefs and interactions with the outside world. Secondly, if you have heard of the dead internet theory, you would understand that its becoming harder to verify if the comment you see from someone actually has a real person behind it especially with the prevalence of NLP (also popularly known as GPT OR chatGPT). So you should caution the authenticity of certain posts online especially if there is a running theme amongst them. Lastly, is online conformity and this is saying this to be recieved well online despite have a drastically different view offline and in the real world. So you have to factor all of this in and realised that this can paint a picture of negativity based on how people behave on social media but you do have to take things with a pinch of salt online. edit: Forgot to mention that an overwhelming number of people don't engage socially on social media that you may not encounter or heard of I know alot of people that had quit or never got caught up using it in the first place, and you have those who use it moderately but not to the extent of the people you refer to as.
@@Thelastetherborn deluded people don't want change. The only constant is change. If you're referring to males that game the system for their own selfish hedonistic proclivities they're not actual alphas. That's the mask they wear to fool women who lack discernment. And don't call me bruh, whatever that is, unless you'd like to engage in ad hominem attacks.
Both men and women today are choosing to stay single, not get married and not have children. The divorce rate is over 50%. Being married today seems to add stress and financial issues to ones life. Even people married 20 or 30 or 40 years are getting divorced today.
that and it seems like no one really wants to work things out or try anymore. People just keep trading for the next best thing and many have standards set so high that only 0.01% of the population qualifies as a "good man" in their books. Its tiresome tbh
That summed it up well. If given a chance to correct a mistake, I never would have gotten married and I wouldn't have had a child either. It's beyond devastating to see the person you love more than life itself be cheated out of any fairly normal existence. My.son is 22 and has no functional language or communication, he can't function to work and take care of himself and he'll never have any kind of romantic relationship with another person or be able to be a father. He's my sweet, beautiful little boy, but we've never er even had a conversation. Basically, he is developmentally like a 2 year old with a strong 22 year-old man body. I got him as many services and help that I could, but he is quite profound and rarely do cases like his improve enough for any type of remotely normal life. It is so unfair to him. He deserves better and I dud best I could while his Dad bailed out on us and I work full time to support myself. Had I had any idea, I would have had my tubes tied. I'd give up my life for him in a nanosecond. I just couldn't cure him. 😢😢😢
1) Nobody wants to be plumber 2) Men r ok being plumber in exchange for 💵&👨👩👦. 3) 💃👩💻"I dont need no Man" 4) No incentive to be plumber 5) Men lose purpose & play 🎮s
@@ClellBiggs lol so i can hit 40 then 50 and look back and see the only thing i did was earn money and buy things? yeah no thanks man. Ignoring the elephant in the room doesn't make it dissappear.
@@SquarishLink Then try to find someone to have a relationship with if you can't deal with the consequences of not having one. If you think you can find one or already have one then you're not part of the group this video is about.
I realized that the secret to making a million is making better investment. I always tell myself you don't need that new car or that vacation just yet and that mindset helps me make more money investing.
When men were having a hard time finding a partner no one cared, but now that women are having a hard time finding a partner it's a crisis. I advise men to keep getting passports I'm 26 year old male with a beautiful Cambodian partner and couldn't be happier 🎉
Yessir. been abroad for 8 years on China and couldnt be happier with the dating market. We gotta stop beating around the bush and lay the blame down in the west.
The main reason I'm not interested in dating, hooking up, or marriage is because women have become dangerous to men. From retroactively taking back consent, cancel culture, diseases, cheating, alimony, child support, getting you fired, etc. We're even seeing men avoid interacting with women at work. That is the main issue for me; it's a huge risk, and I'm not going to volunteer for that. I'm still going to live my life, work on my career, hit the gym, and enjoy my time with my friends. I'm just not dating.
As I a woman I would say I agree with you. Marriage or relationship with men is a bad deal. Even though you work as a woman, you are most likely to do all the house work, child birth is a danger, the stat says somewhere around 50% of women get financial help from the man if there is a child involved, the payment is somewhere around $200 a month. 80% of women are not satisfied in bed with men. So yes, I can go on and on it's a bad deal all together.
@@ToroMontana Not a joke at all. Do you know how many women have been killed as prostitutes? It's a dangerous aswell as degrading profession. Nowadays. Most women make more money than any street waller or escort without even meeting any man in person. The Internet age has made that possible.
@@lisa6356 Yep, there's that too. Women entering the work force is probably the most important factor that killed relationships. There's no reason for women to want relationships anymore because they can be their own bread winner, which I'm fine with. Women should be able to do what they want with their lives. But wages have stagnated while the cost of living has increased yearly, which is to be expected when you essentially double the work force. And men don't really need women because everything women provided in the past has either been automated or made vastly easier. Neither sides really need each other unless they want a family, and not many people want that nowadays. Child support largely depends on the man's income, so if you have a child with a man who's got nothing you can't expect to get much. I know men with great careers who lost an insane amount of income, while men who have nothing don't have anything to give. A LOT of women sleep with bums, and that really brings down the average. As for the 80% of women who are unsatisfied with men, that's to be expected in a hookup culture. The majority of young men aren't even having sex, so you can't expect them to be good at it. The men who are having a lot of sex aren't going to bother learning because they're going to be with a different girl every other day. Studies show women have better sex with men they have emotional connections with, but women are just hooking up with men they find attractive. Women's bodies are all different, and they respond to different things, but no ones learning this because no one is sleeping with the same people for very long. There aren't real relationships anymore, there's just situationships. And when a man who hasn't had a lot of sex finally gets to he has dozens of other men he has to be better than while he has little to no experience at all. A lot of women say men are bad at sex as an own, but when you look at how people are moving it's not really a surprise; it's expected. Hell, a lot of girls aren't good either, guys are always talking about how bad girls are in bed, we just don't tell the world that. All in all, there's really not much reason for anyone to have relationships, and it's honestly pretty interesting to see how things are going. The future sure will be interesting.
And I've discovered the joy of going solo to a good restaurant, eating fine food in silence and having a bottle of good wine and a brandy. The absence of a woman means I can fully enjoy the experience....for half the price.
Luck isnt helping. I was 8 when social media came out. Around 12 when dating apps were launched. Healthy dating is not something I have seen, let alone experience. Future is Very very dark.
@@stopyourbullshit6231 That future is already here. You may call it the new normal, where every relationship and/or conversation feels like a chess game, a power play and who's gonna finish on top, with better outcome. Relative positioning on social media enabled this behaviour + many newgenz were "parented" by smartphones and soc. media, which opened the world for them. Too many options available, no need for connection, if something doesn't work, it's easily replaced, like a product, which is the scariest part.
My mom had 6 kids , uneducated and remained in a severely violent relationship because she had no education / job. She always said how do I run with 6 children. She made sure that we educated and employed so that we dont suffer the same fate. Many many women are pushing themselves hard at school and on the job because living under a man can be so dangerous. Unfortunately, too many females have seen / experienced this. Marriage has to become safer so that females choose it. Not all men are abusive but this is still something that should form part of this conversation. Why are females pushing so hard for education and advancement? What is pushing them? Survival instincts pushed me very hard.
Your logic seems sound but your mother had six children and she is therefore an extreme winner within evolution. Despite her suffering, her lack of education served her extremely well when it came to proliferation. Religion, for instance, often denies women education for this very reason since religion spreads mainly via the womb.
Yup my mom lived a similar life. 5 kids. My father was abusive and never around only around when it benefited him until he woke up one day and decided to leave my mom to her to raise all her kids not knowing the language nor having any experience neither education. He left his family for a younger woman. The reality is that most men create single mothers and once they no longer care for the mom they no longer want the children either. This is why I will never trust a man that much to give him the opportunity of making me a single mother. The solution is 4b Men are the problem!
@@SC-sn3xs You let your past cloud your judgement. Where are the statistic for this? I have one for you that is well documented, who initiates the most divorces men or women?
This is really simple: the world is changing entirely too fast for people to keep up with things. Men and women are confused and trying to adapt and adjust in real time. It is exhausting trying to keep up with it all and it is showing in all these stats.
Yeahhh that's not the case, the legal framework overshadowing all of this takes it from an organic learning process and just fills the situation with risks outside of the control of the men. The government and society as a whole does nothing but bail women out of bad choices and even lies to them about the impact. It's a very basic cost benefit analysis from mens side of things and then them openly sharing their view on it.
Men did not change... the only thing that changed its women bad behavior dont get punished but rewarded. SO they chose to show the besteial animals they are.
I’m not confused at all, I’m fact things have never been clearer to me as a man. Some women might be confused but I think it’s just women being women at the end of the day
The lack of job security and a stable future has impacted everyones ability and desire to get married, have a baby, buy a car or a home. When you are insecure and not able to support yourself you can not support a family or buy a home. There are a lot of basement dwellers in moms homes.
I make 100k a year and can't afford much that's just inflation wages can't keep up you need to make 200k a year or more to have. A family and a house payed for nowadays. It's just not worth it for most men to get involved with any woman
Why a large group of women support the globalist plan, duped, to make them dependent on the government. Government will become your partner, your family, or your god. Enter hybrid-Communism now taking over the west.
The father pays for and renovates the home but it’s always referred to as the “moms home” because men aren’t viewed as human. Why should a man buy a house if in the eyes of the public, it won’t even be seen as his house?
Yep. Many many millions of men were burdened with the responsibility of looking after women they didn't want and raised families with them regardless, because it was the right thing to do for the children and society. As soon as women do not want the men on offer,it becomes a societal crisis, because women are not prepared to make any sacrifice in this respect. Nobody ever says this, even those who are having this conversation. The sacrifice of men is treated as an assumption, a non-factor that will always be there, a behaviour that men have no choice but to play out. The place we're heading now is the place where men stop making that sacrifice and go their own way. A lot of people have an unpleasant surprise ahead of them when they realise what this means.
@@zeno2501 in reality, it appears people are trying to talk around the fact that men are refusing to make these sacrifices any longer. That's why there is a crisis. Not because women have stopped doing their traditional roles. The crisis began when men started to reject their archaic, antiquated scrificial riles in search of a new purpose.
Gutting the middle class and tossing the lower class with drugs is crippling… also the toxic crap being pushed on men and women you end up with Kim and Kanye wannabes…. Slow motion train wreaks that don’t look so great without the bling in the background.
Sadly, we are all under hypnosis and (almost) everything we consume through movies, music etc. has a hidden (very bad) code, that is implemented deeply into our subconsciousness and is incarnating into our physical and emotional world.
It's likely that with the middle class being gutted alot of people feel they can't afford to have a family. Also with finances more difficult likely there's less long term thinking and planning going on.
I don't agree. People spend a lot of time at work so it's natural to get to know people there. I would say, leave it as an option, but tread very carefully.
@@projectacuhope The problem with dating a person from work is that it is goes sour, your ex co-worker can now sabotage your livelihood. It’s a no-go zone.
@@demonicaxeman7264it totally depends on the value of the person you're dating, you gotta screen her/him and the family. Dating at work is actually a better thing than online dating
My experience, women are looking for the top 5% of hot guys. If you're not 6'2" with a chiseled body and handsomely good looks they're not interested. Then those 5% of highly attractive men quickly figure out they can have any woman they want and start using them versus looking for a serious relationship. Now that everyone does internet dating it just makes this worse because women will have a recipe or check box and if you don't meet that they swipe left and keep going. Also, there are plenty of websites like "Are We Dating The Same Guy" which gangs up on men. A woman can get mad at an ex-boyfriend and trash him all over the internet trying to destroy his dating life. Soon it becomes obvious why a lot of men are zoning out...
The percentage of those guys you speak of is way way less. 6'2: 4% of male population are 6'2 or above. Good physique: Let's say 5% actually work out consistently for years to achieve that. In the US almost half are obese now, in the younger age groups 35% are obese. High facial attractiveness: Using normal distribution, a highly attractive face(8/10 or above) is probaly like 2% of the population. So 4%*5%*2%=0.004% of men, not even counting a bunch of other factors. That's also close to the percentage of megamillionaires in the US(0.003%). Kinda hilarious if you think about it. That kind of guy is as rare as someone with 100mil in the bank.
@@pr23487but most men will be happy with an average 5/10 woman who doesn’t let herself go and makes a good wife and mother. Women, not so much regarding men
It's simple: I don't want to literally work myself to death, if I have any choice. As Tom talked about in the beginning, if your wife/SO steps up, she'll expect (require) you to do that as well, even if you're objectively doing just fine. A relationship isn't worth my life. Maybe I'd think the opposite if I had a family of my own, but, I don't.
I feel the same with men. A relationship is nice, but not if it expects from me what I am not willing or able to give. I agree with you. It's a bit too much for all parties.
@@annmarieknapp2480that’s the problem though - we are all much more narcissistic than our parents s as bf grand parents. Neither side is willing to “give” at all - we just want things to go smoothly all the time. This is a pipe dream . Older generations would laugh at us
No the answer is to get outside the box. Expand your board. The world is vast and there are many woman around the world who would love American men. This is only a issue for men who need a American wife. The world is huge. Change the market not kill yourself to meet growing unrealistic expectations. There are thousands of men traveling outside the country for traditional woman.
39 years old male. I have been single for the past 3 years. No dates at all. Occasionally I see hookers. After a painful breakup I came across red pill content and it completely changed my life. It explained 15 years of miserable relationship and dating experiences. I was completely clueless and I exposed myself to abuse and manipulation. These days are gone. I then lost interest in dating and in women in general. In my clueless years I had a very positive, unrealistic, idealistic and false perception of women that came from all the social conditionning I was exposed to as a man since I was a child. It is kinda sad to say but now I often feel disgusted by female behaviour. My next goal is to buy a small homestead and share it with a dog and other animals.
@@jasonu3741 A psychotherapist said he's tired of hiding behind mens behavior. So now I know the true psychology of men and its NOT good. I thought it was me the whole time HA boy was I wrong!!!
It's not worth the hassle. What used to be a fun process with men taking the lead, sometimes with some sadness and disappointment thrown in (all part of the journey!), has become draining and oppressive. The dangers that are out there for young guys are obvious. This guy misses it completely.. it's not women calling the shots, it's men saying "yeah, no thanks love".
It's both men and women. Failing to see this, makes any analysis a lost cause. Men are pulling away, because the juice isn't worth the squeeze. But women are the ones making the squeeze so painful by raising the standards men have to meet.
I don’t know where all You guys come from But in my country men treat women like trash not the other way around. Totally peaked since tinder. Think you can even track it back to the time when tinder started where a human being was more than just a swipe. Agree hassle not fun or worth it anymore
@@SillySpanish I assume you're a woman, so you wouldn't know how most men are being treated (or ignored) by women. But please elaborate how women are being treated badly in regards to tinder. Honestly curious.
The end part of the podcast really solidifies a type of message that all men fundamentally understand once they reach adulthood and that message is "no one cares, no one is coming to save, figure it out yourself or perish". It's a type of reality that women really do not have to face, especially in the modern age with infinite social safety nets. It's a strange transition to go from feeling like a child to realizing you're now just viewed as a burden unless you start producing value for society or family group. That issue actually plays into the single men problem because most men have no issue at all with that position in life and will fully embrace it. The problem now is that our efforts are not properly respected or reciprocated, in fact you could go so far as to say they inherent rights are just outright abused and disregarded. The family court system is the most egregious affront to everything that a man is, that you can have all that you worked for in your life literally ripped away from you in a moments notice and then extend the impact of that over the next 20yrs. Most young men these days see this, do the mental calculation and say "yeah I'm not going to risk all that" and withdraw from the dating market because there is no end goal left for them.
The bottom line is women don’t like most men, and don’t want most men. 50% divorce rate, 70% of divorce applications filed by women. Women don’t need us.
Wow. Getting everything ripped off after 20 something years of busting my butt(solo) to maintain a family of 5 hits home to me. It's a crying shame. Literally. Yet life goes on. Peace.
No. Most men never get a chance. You can not choose to avoid marriage, if you don’t have a chance to begin with. Sex, marriage and relationships are mostly monopoly of females.
@@theajbailey no those women still have thousands of tinder matches. The guys posting that they're middle aged making 6 figures and turning down the cheerleader homecoming queen, are really the sons of those women.
Every young guy I know has a girlfriend , so it isn't most of them. They should be more cautious, but they're not. They internalize the message of she's the boss from what I see.
If women want men who are more successful than them by and large, then it must necessarily follow that men will have to succeed more than them. In other words, women force a necessary inequality between men and women while at the same time calling for equality.
Maybe it's like supply and demand. Women insisted to go into the workplace. With more money, demand increased and prices increased. Now, it's harder for women to stay at home like before. Then, women demanded to be well educated. They wanted more educated men but the supply didn't change. So, the cost is higher.
I think they like it this way and actually do want some men who can't compete on the handicapped playing field to be unable to marry/procreate. They are very eugenic creatures in their natural behaviour. But the problem occurs when they think they'll be the ones who are good enough to get the dwindling portion of men that are actually "viable" as mates. Self serving bias and excessive self confidence. They don't actually want men to be more attractive collectively, they want to be picked over other women to compete for the men who managed to succeed despite the deck being stacked against them and to gloat over the women who either couldn't find an attractive man who settled for one 'beneath" them.
Everything except the importance of fatherhood falls true in this talk. Fathers teach physical thinking and a sense a comforter moving in the world. For little girls growing into adolescence a dad teaches her she is lovable, important and valuable before being valued for her sexuality by men outside the family. This is crucial for her healthy relationships in her future. And her family’s.
What about when a mother lacks the capacity to love her children. Why does this happen? Is it always tied to substance abuse or psychotic drug treatments used in the (CIA) Monarch and MK Ultra ops that were organized, designed and created to find guinea pigz aka "citizens" as TEST SUBJECTS at UCLA MENTAL HEALTH CENTER. My mother is definitely one of them. She is crazy as F and still alive at 97! Crazy a$$ world...
@DeLiqueRS I'd add normalizing to that. Not many people have an established normal so they fall into social media normal. A father create a normal world for the child. The child can go on adventures knowing they have a normal to return to
I’m 25. My last dating relationship was traumatizing. Woman was Lying, cheating, stealing, lack of hygiene, indecisive, sneaky, goes out of her way to connect with people who you don’t like or are a threat to my family. Like a whole opp. Losing money & time left & right just to deal with a psyco path, let alone it literally will piss you off dealing with those girls, you’ll find yourself breaking & destroying stuff bc of her.
ive had a string of several of these, the truth is you dont always see those toxic traits when you first meet them. many of them hide these traits and actions for a while until they are more emboldened, or maybe those women are too broken themselves to see they can have a more successful/committed life than that. im 37 and ive had ones that snuck out to cheat, used me for money, used me to cheat on others, my last ex took almost 3 years to show her true colors - "suicidal" (for attention) - then cheated and broke it off with me (i would guess out of guilt) but then proceeded to continue to cheat on that next guy and on/off again the relationship and now has a kid and they basically lowkey hate eachother, and since then i was talking to another woman that wouldve been great for me but kept giving me excuses of either "i dont think it would work out" or that she "rather date other women" - only to recently turn up preganant and doesnt even know who the father is... so yeh tbf women havent acted like having a family is what they really want, rather what they seem to portray is that they would rather not be tied to anyone or any commitment, use whoever they want for whatever they want without much worry of moral repercussions, and not be forced to care within society who gets caught in the middle... yeh i think the larger part of men being out of the dating market is because of the examples of atrocious behavior they see in women on the average, its not superficial variables here, its that their attitude is just awful and they dont seem to care if they are awful people by virtue of treating randoms like garbage - and if nothing in society will hold them accountable for their actions then they never will be.
It’s not that I’m an incel or even that I am a misandrist. I have done the marriage and raising stepchildren dance, was blindsided by a divorce and lost more than half my income and possessions. It took me years to recover. When I did recover financially and was back to being myself again I dated for a while, got involved with another woman who did the same thing but from a cohabitation standpoint - we were just living together and one day I came home to changed locks and another guys car in the driveway. So I’m pretty much done even acknowledging that the other sex exists. At this point I’m too old to have my own kids, most women seem to be way more masculine than feminine and have unreasonable standards for even wanting to have a simple conversation, much less actually dating. It is my opinion that second wave feminism truly has hurt both men and women, hypergamy is out of control and women no longer know how, nor want to, be reasonable human beings with regards to the fact that men are human and will occasionally not be the perfect creatures they wish us to be. Add to all of that the sheer number of negative interactions that I’ve had with women post- shutdown ( I swear, people in general forgot how to be decent while we were in forced isolation) and I am no longer looking for social interaction, much less a relationship with anyone. Just my two cents.
@mattwhite8579 The very same thing happened to me as well. Back in the old days most women were totally the opposite of today, and they were real ladies and very old fashioned too. Today most of these very pathetic idiot women cause most divorces.
Another factor that is not discussed often is how the rise in overweight and obesity affects the dating market. When women feel fat, the last thing they want to do it go out and act seductive. They might also want to stay in hoping that the next diet will be the last one. The decrease in dating may actually be largely a lack of desire to date when you're overweight.
yes and since the places where you may meet other men are essentially meat markets, you are competing against the skinny/thin beautiful ladies or the plastic surgery babes. This is why overweight and obese women stay indoors and prefer to eat themselves to oblivion and would rather do that than have sex with a man that will never choose her anyway.
I heard someone suggesting that because a lot of people of both sexes are overweight the attraction on both sides is going down and less couples are formed because of that. I don`t know if there is anything to it, but it would be worth exploring.
The foodie call thing is so funny. Me and a buddy were just talking about this. There are women in my area that go on social media and ask men if they want to meet them at the bar. The guy shows up, buys their drinks and food (some of these girls actually order the food to-go), and then they leave. They string some of the same guys along for years. I dont go out to the bars much anymore, but the last time that i met some friends for drinks, i saw some of the same women that were hanging around the bars ten years ago. They are still at it. Most if them drive bashed up cars, and have a string of DUIs. But, they are still tricking men into buying their drinks.
It's hard to undo all the red pill knowledge at our fingertips. Once you know you know and it's ruined dating for me at age 38. I know too much so I figured what's the point?
@@jamesmanter8731 just because you changed the race of woman you date doesn't mean red pill philosophy won't apply. I believe they're all mostly the same.
It’s a blessing and a curse. You can use your knowledge to very pragmatically navigate society and the sexual/relationship markets. That said, if you can’t turn off your dismay regarding your knowledge, you won’t find fulfilment regardless of your amount of success.
@@bribri1657 Women are opportunistic not fluid like all the idiot moronic psychologists say as they need to be. A pregnant woman is the most vulnerable being on Earth. Hence she makes a decision that will 1. Provide her and her offspring with the highest chance of survival and 2. With the highest status. In the welfare sodden, valueless, LGBTXYZ preferring, male hating West a man is disposable. She need'nt worry about survival because the filthy uselss Govt will give her a job as it employs the majority of wahmen or will directly look after her material needs. Hence men become useless to her. So she seeks status and if she is relatively attractive that status will be found through finding a useless partner who has a full head of hair, nice tan, wide eyes but is a bad boy maggot. This is the counterculture. In fact relationships may mean nothing to her she might prefer casual flings even if it lasts two years before she gets bored of the same penis and seeks the feels from another relationship. Women initiate the majority of break ups. In the Philippines where there is no stinking welfare, endless govt jobs and hand outs coupled with a conservative catholic family tradition educated men are greatly preferred because they earn much more than the useless surfy deadbeat. Womens sexuality is cultural. In the West a well educated hard working high earning man is anathema to the modern woman. She is more interested in his tan, dreadlocks, guitar playing surfie lifestyle because these are the men the arsehole mainstream Western media worship.
Red pill knowledge merely was another torpedo fired into an already torpedoed and sinking ship when it comes to relationships with women. A lifetime of negative experience with women ruined it for me.
Marriage and family doesn't necessarily bring more happiness, it gives purpose fulfilment and a sense of leaving a legacy (death isn't as finite for those with children).
I think arranged marriages have a better success rate for numerous reasons--often partners are picked to be compatible, and also, they generally don't try to be 'everything' to each other, rather, good partners to raise children and run a household. 'Romantic' partnerships seem to often have much more abiguity and do not always start with any thought of compatibility for partnership.
I think one of the biggest hurdles in modern relationships is the wrong mindset. When you enter an arranged marriage, you already have a mindset that is more pragmatic and solution focused. Whereas most people today have a combination of perfectionism, fomo and lack of relationship skills.
There's also the incredible amount of support from and accountability to the families that arranged the marriage. In our modern world, family often has little to do with how a relationship is going. The most you get from family in modern society is advice, or support if it ends badly. In cultures with arranged marriages, troubles between the couple are handled much more seriously, often even formally, with mediation done by the couple's elders in the family. The families are invested in the couple continuing, so they put real effort into mediating conflicts and offering real solutions. It also becomes a pressure on the couple to find working solutions to their conflicts, because divorce could mean more than just disappointment from their families but actual disfavor or even complete disownment. If your family is the one thing you depend on, more than the government or the rest of society, you'll be more likely to stay in a less-than-ideal marriage to keep your family's favor, and if a family wishes to keep its new ties with the other family, they'll invest their own time and effort into helping couples resolve conflicts. Guidance is essentially what we have traded away for more independence and freedom in our relationships. We are much less controlled by the family, but being on our own like this means we often do not benefit from their decades of experience in making marriages really work, either. Because families in modern cultures do not fear a couple's divorce the same way that arranged marriage cultures do, an unhappy spouse often hears "we support you no matter what you decide, so do what will make you happy" and we're left to figure out what the hell that even is on our own. If a family gives an unhappy spouse actual good advice, there's not even much of a requirement for them to even follow it.
What is always missing in these conversations is to consider what men want and need. Is always about the women. More and more men look at all of this and think. Ok. If I manage to jump through all these hoops, what do I get?, what about what I want in a woman. More and more man realize they are not gonna get what they want no matter what they do. The woman they want at his side does not exists anymore. I’m seeing this in younger and younger guys. They check out and look at woman with disgust and contempt. I debated my nephew about this and I don’t have a single argument against his view.
@@elizabethk3238 Apex fallacy. Most men were peasants working the fields all day not even knowing if they have something to eat, married to mediocre looking wives, and were sent to die in wars for people they didn't even know.
It really comes down to personal values. I dated girls and we just had good times. No harm no foul. When you find a woman that believes in you and you believe in her then you have something to build on. Many women want the wedding but do not want to be wives. You have to find someone who likes being with you thru good times and bad. Not so easy these days. I do not see marriages lasting 10 years much anymore. 50 years its not going to happen.
It is all about training women and men to be aware of what they are doing wrong. I advised my niece who was making 1million a year to advise her boyfriend who was making 50k per year. I told her she should not look down on her boyfriend but rather think about herself as a successful party and gets now to chose her partner based on love rather than financial needs.
@@Narcotic_Venus Ah yes because all men are insecure and all men do that. Quite sexist of you to assume as much. Funny and ironic how often people, and women in particular, make sexist statements about men and they completely gloss over it without stopping and rectifying their statement or taking accountability for the mistake they made. They just ignore it. Perhaps men should do the same.
For better or worse a lot of men are going to turn to AI companions as a solution to this. For women I imagine many of them will continue competing over the top percent of men, but this may switch to being more about having children rather than companionship. They will also likely go down the route of AI long term and may even skip men altogether as better means of artificial insemination are invented. The future of male and female relations are bleak.
@@restingsmirkface Yeah, but it's sad that aspect of life is going to be lost. I dated when I was younger and I enjoyed meeting new people. That's something people in the future won't experience. Even sadder are the large numbers of men that would have been great fathers that will miss out on that experience as well.
@@restingsmirkfaceI can just imagine 30 years down the road - 50% of men will be marrying hot female robots .. would you even have to introduce the robot to your family? I wonder how that conversation goes…?
@@brianmeen2158 Presumably, by that time it will be more socially acceptable. Or at least, not unheard of. Perhaps similar to the experience of tell your family that you're gay in the 1950s.
What women don't understand is that men lose interest as they age. Guys cross the I don't care zone around 50. And these old ladies still want to be pursued. Good luck with that.
@@nap871 🤣🤣🤣I actually find this hilarious..I have more men my age (55) and older who try to get me to have sex with them and will say or do anything except learn about me as a person. My answer to them is I have morals and values I am not hook-up material.
A teacher or lecturer asking one of his adult students out is a big no no these days. A manager asking out someone that reports to him is a big no no these days.
And you are saying that men do not need to be incentivized? Why objectifying the women if men do not need to be incentivized to have sex? Trading anything for anything then shows low sex drive for men also do not you think?
Fantastic discussion guys. Important point from William at 2:23:00 about the need to improve cross-sex mind reading to reduce hostility between the sexes. Much of the resentment seems to stem from misunderstandings (or outright cultural lies) about the wants and needs of both men & women. We're bombarded relentlessly about the sameness of the sexes when this is not the case.
The "misunderstandings" comes from the left and the media because they want us to fight. They want us to compete with each other - hate each other, out-perform each other, live seperate. It distracts us from real problems, and now they got all sexes being stuck at work forever instead of just men. Which is great for the government, everyone is tired and busy all the time and pay taxes so they get more money.
You mean like the cultural lies and pseudoscience contained in this video? No two men are the same. No two women are the same. Videos like this that try to put every man or woman in to a homogenous group do so by citing pseudo scientific evolutionary psychology. Take for example Tom’s initial struggle to deal with his wife no longer being a stay at home housewife. This is not a widespread attitude held my men in general. This would not hurt all mens egos. People who broadcast pop evolutionary psychology are actually just broadcasting their own insecurities. Instead of trying to understand what is wrong with the rest of the world, they’d be best served to try to understand what is wrong with them.
@@JohnODonovan1987 Denying evolution and its impact on our psychology is just sticking your head in the sand. There's no denial within evolutionary psychology that there is a broad spectrum of personalities. Everyone is not the same. That does not mean, however, that no common patterns can be gleaned. You want to swim against the stream and live as if men and women are the same and we can say nothing sensible about the general preferences of either that is your choice, but you will be missing a big part of the picture in doing so.
@@alaron5698 I didn’t deny evolution. You just made that up. It’s the impact on our psychology that is is both unfalsifiable and also unprovable. Pop evolutionary psychologists can’t even tell you what the pre evolved state was. Hence why a lot of it is rightly dismissed as pseudoscience.
I think a lot of discussion around the provider-protector role for men in relationships often misses out a big thing that we men can provide but we often don't realise we can provide because the discussion just seems to focus on the idea of men being the provider of mere material resources. My point is that in a world in which the greatest challenges a woman faces are the existential problems of life, isolation, meaning and mortality, a man can offer masculine emotional support in an intimate relationship. We can be the man standing in the darkness during the dark night of the soul, be the one staring into the abyss with them and holding them when they feel unsafe and insecure. For the woman we are in a relationship with, we can be the rock that doesn't crumble when they face the death of their parents, or a miscarriage, or even the ravages of old age and a terminal illness. The real question is are we man enough to fulfil the role that the women in our lives need? I mean, as a man who has a sister, I feel I have been able to give her masculine emotional support through many of her life challenges, so it's easy to do this for the women I date, too. Maybe if you don't have a sister or nieces or any female relatives this sounds weird to you.
women run when u as a man cant pay your share of the rent and bills. Ideally you're there to pay all the bills or the upgraded lifestyle. Women turn to other women for emotional support. It's men they turn for physical provisioning in exchange for sex and intimacy.
You are one of the few men who recognize this. I never depended on a man for an upgraded lifestyle. But when I unexpectedly suffered a heart attach at 60 my husband was there for me just like he always was. And when he died from Covid I often think of him, his wonderful humor and personality, how he loved his children and his family.
Long-lasting change occurs through small steps, repeated regularly, over time. Look no further than your next habit and remember to congratulate yourself every time. You are unique in all the world. Never forget that.
Yeah, the 'perceived as violence' thing is what's completely got me out of the market. If I make a bad joke, as I am want to do, worst case we can groan through it and proceed with an apology from me. If I try to approach a woman and come off poorly, she doesn't like me, it's a bad day/time to try, etc. I could be accused and have my life ruined. Edit: Somethng I've noticed upon reflection across all the platforms I've viewed info like this and my personal life is that the risk of social media seeking behavior and associated shame/blame for saying hi has a pretty close correlation to some city centers (but not all). I've known a ballpark hundred girls through the school system on the outskirts of a bigish city and another hundred through college in the city. Not counting parents, only 2-5% of those girls had 'dangerous' personalities in my mind. While it's reassuring to know it wasn't 50% or something crazy, as I don't scroll social media beyond UA-cam, I'd be playing a game of poker with half my cards covered if I tried to actively search for a date. Better to take it slow and see who I meet in life before taking any larger steps.
@@anthill1510 In no way, I'm just aware that I'm prone to make social faux pas and, as I work with young kids, a single false accusation could lose me my current and future jobs.
@@KayronTheFifth OK. What do you think could happen? I mean being "prone to make social faux pas" ends you in awkward situations where you made a joke that wasn`t funny, not in assault situations. You can`t be that socially inept when you work with young kids?
@@anthill1510 It's ok to make a bad joke around kids of the age I work with because I can redirect it and them into laughing at me. My social mistake can serve a purpose in that interaction. For regular interactions with women, I'm not afraid of it escalating into false claims, but taking it any further or inviting them into that relationship is where the danger is. Heck, due to an old mistake I made I do my best to suppress emotions beyond the basics among anyone but my best friends. Embarresment sucks, but I can handle that. If it were to become something that permanently affected my life like a false accusation, I'm not sure I could handle that...
The internet is rapidly proving that the "open society" is a fantasy and that humanity absolutely cannot adapt to unconstrained capitalism and technological transformation of our way of life. We're breaking down at the most basic social levels. Something's gotta give, and there's not going to be a way back to anything resembling normalcy without some serious authoritarianism, at least in the realm of regulating the role technology is allowed to play in our daytoday lives. The capitalist class isn't going to like that and they may bring us to the brink of destruction trying to prevent it.
… Men and women's brains are connected in different ways which may explain why the sexes excel at certain tasks, say researchers. A US team at the University of Pennsylvania scanned the brains of nearly 1,000 men, women, boys and girls and found striking differences. Male brains appeared to be wired front to back, with few connections bridging the two hemispheres. In females, the pathways criss-crossed between left and right. … Look up: Sex differences in the structural connectome of the human brain. Adding more details gets it deleted as spam.
There is nothing in the structure or function of the brain to mimic genitalia, neither the predominantly inner kind {stronger, more long-lasting and therefore superior, not to mention the holders of life-creation, nor the dangling outside the body & therefore weaker & more vulnerable]), other than coding in dna, there is no big fancy difference between the sexes except what WE CHOOSE; we get to have fun and play different roles for enjoyment and we may chose division of behaviors and chores and roles to play for courting and sexual play. The Y chromosome that makes man is a piece broken off the full complete X.
@@LeanN2Light A connectome (/kəˈnɛktoʊm/) is a comprehensive map of neural connections in the brain, and may be thought of as its "wiring diagram". An organism's nervous system is made up of neurons which communicate through synapses. A simple google search can show you that there is. 😂😂
@@LeanN2LightI was a biology professor and this comment is completely incorrect. Men and women are extremely different in structure. On the other hand racial difference have more to do with environmental pressures of ancestors and are actually mostly insignificant
I’ve wanted a woman partner for as long as I can remember. But, at 41 it hasn’t worked out for very long and I am hard-pressed to find one. I am bad bad bad at talking to women, I don’t know the first thing about it. And I am too much of a “nice guy” apparently. So at 41 I am just trying to fix my life and live the best life I can. I just started a commitment to gaining a strong foundation for a career change. I am going to work in AI !!! I don’t have to get all psychological with dealing with a potential partner, worry about maintaining her and the whole game that goes with those two things. A woman can be very motivating but I can and will gain the motivation from myself and my fire desire to fix the wreckage of my past and excel like I’ve never excel before. When I am in a job that pays an actual living I hope to maybe adopt a son or daughter, although it is very hard to do that as a single man. In fact I don’t even know if they do that. One thing that has always given me a complex is I’ve never had a well paying job, despite graduating from a university with a good major, volunteering, and from a good university. I know Mexican immigrants with no degree who make a fuck load more than me. It’s all just forced me to be realistic, and tailor my goals accordingly.. I do believe in God and also the power of the extraordinary, and the fact that you never know what life is going to give you but after living a little while you begin to see the overall shape of your trajectory. It can be changed and that’s what I intend to do, as hard as it is with habits and default thought processes. It’s hard to change. But I’ve decided I’m going to. One default thought process I’ve harbored is being a victim to unfortunate luck. Over the latter years I’ve grown to hate the victim mentality. I accept my fate as much determined by the decisions I have made wittingly or unwittingly. So if I want to change I can’t be concerning myself with having a woman in my balance. At least I don’t think I can. I feel that’s a good enough reason to stay single. life and it’s organization is geared around couples and families. I will stay adapted and not focus on what does not apply to me. Being single one day at a time is not as bad as I thought as I was growing up and in early adulthood.
You're doing great with your self discovery. Don't shut off anything or isolate and just go out and meet people. Do the things you like and you will meet your special person that way.what you out will come back to you. Give a smile get a smile. Keep working on YOU
@@jackieg9288 He's 41, how much time do you think he really has? if the man wants a family that ship has almost sailed unless he dates younger. Also who wants to raise toddlers in their mid to late 40s?
Trust God and not man. What for him will be for him. Tons of men are having kids at 40+ so he's fine. He had to grow and work on himself which he said he is currently doing and he is a better man now
You're on the right track. I'm a woman in her early 50's who feels similar to you. I think I'll marry a robot once they are available. Lol. And I'm going into the computer tech field too. God bless us all & God save the Queen as Pres. Biden would say:)
The career penalty is one of the main reasons I went from neutral about having to kids to absolutely never having kids. Life is too expensive for my income to take a hit. And as I never had a desire to have them, the choice was a very easy one. And I notice a lot of women, even with a desire to have a kid, not having them because it's all become so expensive and they just can't afford it. When it comes to dating, a lot of men do still want children. That's a lot of men I'm immediately not compatible with. So I feel like this plays a role as well.
It's not a great idea to bring a child into a failing civilization and society anyway. The west is toast. The implications of a population collapse are ominous.
I'm a 30 year old male working as an software engineer and i believe that having kids if you aren't financially strong is just another way of pushing yourself into a miserable life and after facing a lot of criticism from my relatives and parents I even gave up on getting married or having a relationship. Now i enjoy my life and my money and have a own house and very recently bought my dream car. Now i feel like my life is fulfilled and wouldn't change a thing. Do what makes you happy no need to satisfy others expectations.
When you've checked off all the boxes on your way bucket list, you'll realize how meaningless it all was, and likely regret not building your own family.
the only reason a man has to deal with a women is to have children. half the population is women, if a man wanted sex he can find it. there is a word for women who never have children. freeloaders. deserving of contempt.
So something that has crossed my mind during this conversation is do men actually seek status for themselves or are they doing it to attract the mate. If they're doing it to attract a mate then the ai girlfriend thing will take them out of the game permanently.
Well, considering it difficult to get a job you actually enjoy and feel proud of that also makes you good money and doesn’t suck your soul away I’d say the average guy works these jobs for others aka family. Without family being an option most men don’t see a point when they learn to just do the bare minimum so they can enjoy their hobbies and get by.
I would sign up for an AI women. Study have shown very successful men are very egotistical or selfish. It might be hard to maintain a marriage in the long run.
Think this guy chugged an entire bottle of blue pills... Just work harder guys. The harder you work the more society will take from you and give to women for the goal of equality, but just ignore that and be a good little slave.
Mgtow sucks, been there done that. Imo right way is a combination of mgtow + training your bitch to be what you want. If you are going to deprive yourself of having the family you want then you are not a winner, and thats where mgtow falls short. But its a great start for simps that behave more like little girls than men...
Normally I absolutely hate long podcast interviews, especially those without subject time stamps, and I’ve been skeptical of some of Tom’s guests, but in this case William Costello knocked it outta the park. Tom, kudos to you and your guest on this revelatory podcast! 👏👏👏👏👏
There is also Kodomo-beya ojisan, a Japanese slang referring to an increasing cohort of single, never-been-married middle-aged man who continues to live in the room where he grew up in his parents' house.
Tom, I love the content. Here I was thinking this topic wouldn’t interest me at all and I’m now ignoring my family hiding away upstairs listening to this entire podcast.
Very interesting discussion. Ive found the biggest problem is cock blockers - those who step in to block the getting together of people who are attracted to each other. The cock blockers are jealous or self imposed parents or do-gooders or competition or concerned friends... who really knows why. In each case blocking something that might have been a wonderful relationship or just making new friends makes me feel sad.
Cock blockers only do it for themselves out of jealousy. A girl cock blocked my friend saying her friend was too drunk to consent. A week later same girl is trying to pressure my friend while he is drunk into having sex with her. She wanted him for herself and she didn't care how drunk he was - she kept refilling his drink and made sure it never emptied while she stopped drinking. And when I say pressure I literally mean corner him and won't stop until he does while her 2 female friends peer pressured him. When I told everyone she tried to get him drunk no one cared because she is a girl.
You don’t need to be married or have kids to live a happy and fulfilling life. The part about acquiring skills to add value to your circle of people was really a gem though.
You should date and have relationships when you're young and naive. Sooner or later you will come to the same conclusion. People are weak today, most are dopamine junkies not willing to fight for their relationship or family.
My son says he does not feel he can get a partner because he doesn't make enough money, and he does not seem to be sexually active. He is 28, has a job and a college degree, and has never had a girlfriend or dated to my knowledge. He is a gamer. I never saw signs of him masterbating...I suspect his hormone and endorcrine system, as well as me being a single mother with my own hormonal issues, plays a big part in this.
He's not alone. For me it's not that I have no interest or don't get horny it's that there is no hope. There is no options. Even if you make good money or are good-looking.
49:50 Tom says he married a woman back when that DID NOT WANT to have children, but he needs to really examine the POSSIBILITY, in fact a HIGH possibility, the she decided not to have HIS children. We can see Tom is not a Chad, and he knows that, he says the ONLY reason she went for it was bc he was her TEACHER a position of power over her, and all its implications... so he is aware if he went that far in his reasons why she is with him at all, you can tell if you see her channel and how she speaks on the subject... Tom says men need to be strong enough to face the truth, and this is one that from the outside it seems too obvious to ignore. I have never seen a woman with a high level of attraction for a man (chad) that doesn't want to have kids FROM HIM... in fact that subject is never even discussed she just does WHEN (not if) the time comes. So that leaves the reasons for why she is with him to ONE main reason: money, except now she is making her own money, so it is a race to the death for Tom to keep up always making MORE money then she does or the HIGH possibility of hypergamy doing its thing and she divorces him taking half his wealth with her, a high incentive indeed. The final proof is if she divorces him and THEN has kids with Chad, and women are shameless in this aspect and all other women fall right behind her in theses sort of situations, she would turn and cry and say something like "I never thought I wanted kids but now AT THSI STAGE IN MY LIFE I see how important they are for women, no other achievement in my life is as important and I would give it all up for my kids, I never knew or imagine how fulfilled they make me as a woman, etc etc etc" But all of that is something lie true lies, she believes it but it is more that she just didn't want to have Tom"s children. She is not even willing to adopt feminine roles... Tom WANTS KIDS so the issue is she doesn't want HIS kids. This is also why Tom might always be talking about the both of them being equal and how they discuss everything and how high up in a special pedestal over other pedestals he has place her, like she is his god or something. No, I don't see admiration, I see veneration in that. Tom would do well to explore other options NOWWW before that happens, have a few side chicks and see if as he says "it is easy for hi to catch feelings" and I assume she would in fact be ok with it, and use THAT later as reasons if not grounds for divorce... but it doesn't sound healthy the way he speaks of her as a god to him. it is not good enough to just respond "well, I don't agree.... I don't think that is the case..." when it is obvious by the way he speaks and describes his relationship, she is in charge and LET"S him think he is. And he will see this if he pushes herd enough for some truth to come out. These men are so damn weak in this one area, "I think women should be able to do WHATEVER it is they want...." what a recipe for a marriage!! I guess he will say too, "happy wife happy life.."?? SHE DOES NOT WANT YOURRRRRR KIDS.
How about ask men what they want, and actually listen to what they say. When you really ask men what they want then maybe you'll fix this issue. Shaming men because they are not interested in catering to womens feelings at the detriment of men's lives is only making this issue worse.
If this is why men are alone. If you want a women in your life then you need to cater to her needs and fulfill them. She will do the same in return. But men don't want to give, contribute or listen. It's all about what you want only and that's not how relationship works so if men refuse to adapt and change, what is happening will continue. If you don't want to listen and only care about male needs either date yourself or date a gay man.
Some years ago I started to communicate primarily with elderly people and with kids. Kids can always convince you that not everything is lost, older ppl can always convince you that this too shall pass. Everything in between is "The Great Crises" . Crises this, Crises that, Crises everywhere...... And you look on a 80 years old and on a 10 years old rolling their eyes :" Hold on to your chairs, crises ppl are here" Humans are in 75 crises per minute from the beginning of our existent. We really need points for that durability.
I love this William Costello. Smart as hell. Uses facts, statistics and study results to back up his theories...and yet SO easy and fun to listen to. He's like the University Professor who happens to be your next door neighbour ..almost like advice from your older brother who is studying the very topic you are discussing. Thanks so much for having him on the show.
It's back to women being ok sharing the most attractive richest men as they monopolized women, and society trying to passify all the extra lonely men with AI at best, or at worst, war. Their is going to be a lot of single mothers and tons of half brothers and sisters.
I once have a 22 dude into me (I was 47 at the time). He didn't match my criteria for a relationship. But it he has a great body and was really funny and gentle. No, we don't aim for young ones for real relationchips. That's a thing only for fragile ego men.
I think it's acceptable for a 25 year old to not want to date a 40 year old tbh. When people say they can't find a relationship, they are talking about those around their age and location.
these podcasts are a waste of time... they do nothing to help stop the mating crisis, if anything, it just perpetuates it and reinforces the problems. men... it's time for us to focus on brotherhood and ourselves... reaching that state of mind where we can wake up happy in the morning. wealth will not get you that state of mind and happiness... but your accomplishments and the bonds of broherhood will.
Well said just one reason why I'm going nomadic next year soon as I pay off the rest of my debts which isn't much can't wait America doesn't have anything to offer unless you can bend it towards your own will
It's fascinating how Tom choses to use recklessness, commitment-phobia, etc., in the description of the video. It's also fascinating how the number of women in college is a celebrated instead of giving the nation a pause, and to start an affirmative action for men. Tom is a feminist. So he won't. But the guest was so concerned about his job that he didn't talk about the elephant in the room, feminism.
The word commitment-phobia shouldn't exist. If a man doesn't commit to a woman, it means he doesn't find her pretty enough or he doesn't hold her in high esteem. It's either one or the other or both.
I have to disagree with Tom on this one. Not every man can be a part of the 1% - that is why it’s the 1%. We need an economy and dating culture that works for the 99%. Our economy and culture worked better in the 1950’s when unions were strong, single income househoulds were plenty, divorce rates were low, crime rates were low, poverty was low, and drug abuse was low. We admitted women to the workforce and doubled the supply of labor just to reduce the value of our own wages and ruin nearly everything else in our society. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!
A very fulfilling episode❤ made me appreciate the dynamic between me and my partner, and we are both fans 🥰🥰 this made me appreciate my partner even more, and we will continue till we grow old together to remember how we made it through the toughest times ❤
Love the topics and in-depth conversations. But starting to get put off by the hyper negative titles - TOXIC, DOOM, CRISIS in titles all the time, I get it you gotta play the algorithm but spreads fear and low level energy! You are better than the algorithm game!
@@Arggggggggg for sure, sad but true. it speaks volumes that even Tom and other creators I consider to be very smart and tend to be above the usual consensus bs, still stoop to this level to be able to make money. the machine engulfs it all!
I agree and I hope he stops that. It's weird that long ago on UA-cam having a doom and gloom like title got you no where and it was looked downed on. How times have changed.
Women can build their strength in focusing on their own life journeys and being clear about their life goals. In going through a horrific cancer journey, it was the wisdom of the assigned psychologist that guided me in clarifying a peaceful existence with being the "sole proprietor" of my life. This doesn't mean one is alone nor lonely nor lacking. It simply means it is a different way of living vs. traditional paradigms. I have been so blessed in being able (through many sacrifices and hard work) to acquire education and build a prosperous career and fulfilled life in which I can more than provide for myself. Anything else is icing on the cake. I chose the icing.
There is only one reason why it fails, dating through apps or arranged meeting is the most unnatural way to get couples. It is supposed to be very spontaneous. One cannot force romance, it just kicks in.
Men ARE stay at home fathers in many traditional societies. Modern life has men and women having to leave to go to a "job". People have always had to be productive but in some cultures (farming comes to mind), the children ate able to work with the fathers. Much of these issues are problems of our own making.
So much of this "issue" could be solved if one sex wasn't subsidized at the expense of the other. For every thousand hacking at the branches, there is one striking at the root
The irony and hypocritical nature of that statement. Subsidies for women .... men you've had Subsidies for men for eons and in the last maybe 40 years if that women have acess and now we are taking it all away from you when women didn't even have an opportunity to go to work university ect until recently. Oh please. You all hate gold diggers yet OF allows you to throw money at women who don't even know your mothers maiden name but that ok and the gal who dares go get herself an education to support her self is downright stealing your spot that you may or may not have wanted. Baby jesus the jokes write themselves on here. You men need to get together and figure out what you actually say. No gold diggers but OF chicks are loaded the audience is 99% male. No ladies at Uni stealing our spots because women should be reliant on the men to look after them. Men don't want to get married because women are 304s but we will marry women who aren't 304s but you should have smex with us because we said we like you. You say no to me your a 304 ( my personal favourite). MGTOW pack your passport let's go get young poor women who don't even speak our language and we are only attracted to their bodies and what they can do for us .... also men women just use us and take advantage. I just get bored with the constant blame game and lack of accountability tge hypocrisy is just ridiculous. Men don't know what they want and women don't care what you want because they want money and power. So men are becoming irrational illogical and emotional women are becoming cold cruel money hungry. I think the magnetic poles have switched and we are all getting a taste of the shoe is on the other foot or walking a mile in new shoes. Anyhoo pass me the popcorn let's watch this all burn down around us. About damn time the whole system is broken time fir a new one this one has outlived its purpose 😂
I'm 53 years old, never married. I never made much money so most women never gave me a chance. Being married to a woman seems like having a new nagging mother you have to check in with several times a day. Seems like I dodged a bullet.
8:00 Notice how the intimate partner violence increase with educated women is assumed to be the fault of men, as he goes onto imply that it is men inflicting cost on the woman to keep her there....he doesn't mention how it's possible that women compromising their hypergamous ideals might create resentment that leads to the provocation of her guy. Because no woman in her right mind hits a man, given the strength differential, women's violence is carried out through emotionally manipulative tactics. The problem is, no one takes emotional manipulation, at least the emotional manipulation of men, seriously. So the only abuse that gets reported is domestic, and the cause of the abuse is never reported. So all you ever hear is "man hit woman", not "woman manipulated the man, demeaned him, and berated him perpetually into he snapped and hit her". And so what you end up being fed is that in response to women being educated, men just start beating the crap out of them. Now, do you all know a handful of guys that are that unstable? What do you think it is? Guys get provoked, and the situation turns physical...or...women come home, say "hi, honey!" and the men just start throwing haymakers, as Mr. Costello would have you believe...????
The only reason why I'm afraid of being alone is because I'm scared of what happen when I get old, like getting sick and struggle in old age, who are going to take care of you?
Funny how the economic model doesn’t fit with the biological need to have a family (sarcasm). But we don’t question the economic model? I haven’t finished watching the video when I write this, so they do hopefully…
Most of the videos I've seen that talk about a mating crisis doesn't even touch on the economic model at all which I kind of find interesting I'm not sure if they're downplaying it but I watched hours of those videos and I have yet to see one that talks about it or if they did it was in passing and not in depth
Something that is touched on with incels and giving up, not trying to better themselves anymore to get a mate, needs elaboration. I’ve tried fostering a relationship with guys that aren’t taking care of their kid, aren’t pursuing a career rather than working a job, etc. However, when I encourage them to do better, they tell me outright that’s not who they are. It used to be that men wanted to do better to try and impress a woman. What can we do to get back to that? As far as I’m concerned, if you’re not willing to put in the effort, you have no right to complain women don’t want to be with you.
You're actually hitting on a key point. You have to look at the economic conditions. Wealth inequality is at ALL-TIME highs. Almost no jobs offer a pension. People work hard and never get anywhere. Wages have been stagnant for 50 years. The lack of ambition and hope, stems from an increasing recognition that this society doesn't reward workers, only the ultrawealthy, the rich get richer.
36, 6”2 180 lb man in amazing shape. No kids, never been married and no debt. That’s what it looks like to hit the jackpot in 21 Century life. Until we return to the basics of understanding that romantic relationships are for the long term not short term, count me out.
Also a prediction. If “real” hard economic times hit, I bet the divorce rate is going to skyrocket. Why? Because the needs of a marriage are based due to the societal and cultural needs. My guess many people married thinking the world will always stay the same. It will be interesting if that happens.
Just a little bit through this video, but listen, he mischaracterizes what hypergamy is. "There is some evidence that hypergamy is in decline" .....NO! hypergamy is an evolved, biological/psychological INSTINCT that will ALWAYS be there to influence the behavior of women. The MANIFESTATION of hypergamy may be variable, but the instinct will remain. Thus, women may be trying to consciously supress their instincts out of perceived necessity and "marry down", but it will probably lead to unstable relationships. They will still be influenced by hypergamy, probably grow disillusioned with their mate choice, grow resentful of their "inferior" partner, lose respect and attraction to him, contibute to their "7 year itch", and inevitably look for greener pastures.
I stopped dating years ago. No sex in years, not missing anything at all. No need to waste the rest of my lifetime getting hurt, abused, and used. The people that don't have a problem is because the man 9 times out of 10 are great at hiding everything trust me. If you are blessed 🙌 to have a good men, blessings to you.
and look at the comment section. talking about women merely as a tool for sexual pleasure. no one mentions wanting connection or love. the reason i will never have relationship ever again. men who want to receive and give love are just a few, so the chances to meet someone who is seeing women as more than just a sexual object are almost non-existent.
True. Single and sexless by choice for 11 years. I don't wanna be another's man hot sex toy ever again. If i'm gonna date again it's gonna be with an asexual man. At least then i know that i'm valued as a human being not for how i look like and what i can offer sexually.
@Vivi-vg9lx Exactly 💯 Men seem to always want someone else anyways, Soo I'm DONE WASTING MY TIME, seems like they chase us, we give in, then we still aren't GOOD ENOUGH, what's the point in ever DATING, or being with someone WHO ALWAYS WANTS SOMEONE ELSE?
1:13:00 As a man - if I were a heterosexual woman, I'd rather be the 17th wife of Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk than the first of a homeless guy. Since I would do this myself, I can't really blame women. But that's why women need to see that enforced monogamy is what creates a livable society. Because the current sedation of young men won't go on forever. One way or another there will be someone that will be able to get those young guys moving - and here is the kicker, you don't need more than 5-10 thousand young men to topple any government. But the army has Jets and tanks! A jet and a tank are useless if the enemy is in your home living in your society and you need them to work to keep things running. You need police for that and police won't risk their life all day. It's dangerous to keep young men out of society for too long.
Lol the government is too powerful and had made plans for this decades in advance. The gov has highly advanced weapons that you don't even know about. The gov doesn't need workers it has robotics and AI so you're not needed anymore, the gov controls all resources of power including money supply. The chaos, and violence of these so called "sedated men" will just scare and repel women away. Men are not entitled to women. You must prove your worth.
Might be worth looking into the case of Eastern Europe where women have been outperforming men academically and have been treated equally at work since the 1960s, yet marriage rates were very high. Perhaps because there was a strong pressure to get married by the time you graduate from university and there was no time for mens’ careers to develop and be compared. Despite the higher commitment rates, this is not a world I would choose to live in - I saw in my childhood many women’s self esteem completely demolished because they didn’t marry “on time” (by 25) and many others settling for just anybody to avoid being mocked. There was even a “bachelor tax” for both sexes deducted from your paycheck if you weren’t married by 25. So no thanks. But an interesting data point to study on this topic.
@@gailainsley6939 Actually it's not about 'mens ego' - It's what you want to see - something you are projecting, because you have unresolved issues within yourself.
@@diamondheart11 It's more about demographics and married men have less reason for crime. Men were shamed too, even more than women. They had to pay the tax too, even higher. Nobody cares about any sex's ego in communist state. I say it from Poland where it happened, you see it from today's ideaological american perspective which isn't comparable at all.
Populations are in a decline. We're headed for the fall of civilization. Family is the foundation of humans. Women use to provide the care of the young and elderly. Now it's all monitized,daycare and nursing homes. This is the power of the state and has little to do with women being educated. It was the women that taught our kids in school and at home.They've always been educated. So it is the state,social engineering that has brought this on.Now the end ressult is childless women dying alone without children and grandchildren they spent their life serving instead of the coporate master and the state. Now left in the hands of the state the only question is when will the human race go extinct?
I like men. Im 60 though and single now though Ive been married. Heres something he didnt talk about. So many men still dont treat women well. Controlling, cheating, abusive are still so common. Almost ever woman ive known has left for one of these reasons. And no these men are not all handsome and succesful
Women are also controlling, cheating and abusive but it isn't something men tend to report. Infact, womens controling, cheating and abusive behavior is evident in lesbian relationships, they have an even higher rate of domestic violence and cheating than with hetrosexual couples!!! To make matters even stranger, studies proved that Gay men were almost two times less likely to be victims of domestic violence than lesbians!!!
Isn't that a puzzle; not handsome or successful but by definition have a female partner. Possibly several. I have noticed women frequently complain of their alchoholic partners and I have to conclude that women just love alchoholics. Most of us just don't have the courage for that glorious ride to ruin so we're weeded out, identified as boring
As a man, I agree with you...this conversation seems to completely miss the other side of the coin, men are porn and prostitute addicted, lacking self-control. And what is the source of this WIDESPREAD lack of self-control in men? It is WIDESPREAD conditions of porn and porn-adjacent entertainment, percolating down to teens and even younger, getting them addicted to paid unrealistic sexual acts. I don't blame women. I don't blame men. I blame the capitalist system. Mark my words, this problem will not be overcome, it won't even get better, in fact it will get worse, until the entire capitalist system is overthrown. The entire porn industry is based on vulnerable impoverished women, which capitalism produces on a daily basis, every single minute, around the world.
@@jonthomas9708 Since women have literally 100s or even 1,000s of sexual and romantic options, if they keep ending up with abusive alcoholics then it is 100% their fault. Women need to stop choosing alcoholics and aggressive looking men with tattoos, twitchy eyelids, and a chip on their shoulder who look like they're ready to snap at any given moment.
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
You 2 have covered a lot of interesting ideas here. It's pretty funny how the mating game has changed since the smartphone took off. I'm 40, male, single, Australian, and I want to start a balanced system for Global Group Marriages that are developed for Sophisticated Humans, Capable of Ethical Non-Monogamy. Strategically it could be used to create an alternative to the UN that is based on love that is closer to a "love of all" than any existing models, in a business context it could allow for many macro opportunities, in a cultural sense it would empower cross cultural understanding, in a travel sense it would empower easy visa's and trusted guides, in a family planning sense there would be many ways to logically or rationally set up childbearing to optimize for a variety of metrics and support both men and women's needs and desires. It's definitely complicated but I'd love it, and I am inclined to believe that sometime in the near future, it will become a reality. I'm just working out how to build a wearable VR/AR hive mind "Aura of intelligence" to manage the system via wearable smart devices and the internet of things. What do you think from a USA or UK perspective?
So no one is talking about the men traveling out the country to find woman who don’t have as high expectations. The solution isn’t to kill yourself but to find a different market. There is a simple solution. The box 📦 is the one you put yourself in. The world is vast. This might not be a game men wish to play. There are other boards.
As a woman who's in my mid 30s, I have zero desire to have kids ever. And I know quite a few woman who share my sentiment. Motherhood does not benefit woman.
Not sure where he is getting his data.
I just read that in 2019 about 30% of men gave up on long term relationships or hookups. In 2023 it’s now 50% that have given up on hookups and relationships.
Guys are giving up because the vast majority of wømen are sharing the top 20 percent of men (maybe even less, like the top 10%). This is likely only going to get worse, not better.
@@user-nx2yx9id2j A lot of us are not from the West. So the wellfare argument is invalid.
When it became obvious that I wasn't going to get married and start a family, I checked out and began living within my means. Such a lifestyle brought me peace and a certain degree of fulfillment I could have never achieved working myself to the bone for nothing.
What's your secret? Sounds like you have achieved a type of zen. I'm at point of trying to let things that bother me go. Actually,has nothing to do with this topic. I am divorced and have always had to be self reliant. I'm grateful that I was reared that way,because I needed that mindset. And agree with you!
@@annmarieknapp2480 the only secret is you have to actually want peace. If you try to live this way as a coping method, it'll never work.
I've done the Same, and I'm 69 yrs old and I don't Regret a Thing !!!!
@@annmarieknapp2480 Look into God.
If atheist, you could study logic (syllogism) and explore the arguments for and against. And go from there.
💯 brother
The more I listen to people speak on this topic, the less appealing dating and being with someone becomes for me. Mating retention strategies and hypergamy...it's reduced to a base science where we're all animals and loyal only to our own biological and evolutionary needs. There's no love, no loyalty, just cold, clinical terms and basic phenomena. Idk something about it just kills my drive to date, have sex, or engage in any of it. I see why society always romanticized love and marriage. Because without it, "mating" is just another biological rat race and seeing it for what it is takes all the joy and pleasure out of it.
Idk if I can ever look at men, women, and interpersonal relationships the same way again. If you want to avert a mating crisis, you're doing a really shitty job of it lol.
Yeah, I've listened to a number of these mating crisis, men are sexless, men are doing badly, and so on podcasts and all they do is suck away my energy and make me feel hopeless and frustrated when I usually wasn't feeling that way at all before listening to the podcast. Even if they're saying things that are true, none of these discussions have been helpful in any way to me so far. I really need to stop clicking on them. All these podcasts are doing is giving men a victim complex like every other group on every side of any issue in society these days.
The more you know, the more you suffer
That's what it's always been like... it's just more discussed nowadays and a little accelerated by social media.
@@flynnoflenniken7402 There is a reason there is a saying ignorance is bliss. Here is the harsh reality. The few times women have come on to me in my life in all instances they were a 3. (this in real life not on dating apps) I do not play with 3s. I have no interest and I do not use them just for sex as I think that would be rude. I am probably a 4 or 5 maybe. I am 20 to 30 pounds overweight 5ft 7 inches. I get 0 interest on hinge I have sent over 120 messages never sent a dic pic or anything of the sort. You can either understand womens nature or live with your head in the stand but you can not do both. The majority of the attractive women in society only want the top 5 or 10 percent of men. Most are materialistic whores. If they got an instagram with 1000s of followers forget about it.
Im definitely part of the 30% that's just given up. Call me pessimistic but I just dont see a future with a partner, which is sad as I'd love to share life with someone. Relationships are just too complex now, it's not worth the potential emotional stress. In addition the behaviour I see from both males but especially females on social media sites is unbelievably cringeworthy!
If you basing behaviour based on online behaviour then that's probably why you are pessimistic
Most ppl aren’t out on social media only influencers
Good people are still available they are just very difficult to connect with today unfortunately. Which is odd with so much tech today. But research shows the tech or social media is actually making us lonelier. I've been single since my sons mom left me over 10yrs ago. I have not given up but it seems to be a lost cause to approach women nowadays so I just stopped looking until I happen to bump into my soulmate if it never happens simple I die alone but I keep improving myself thinking eventually I will meet someone. Living in a small town really makes it tough.
@dariuspalmer2829 social media is everywhere nowadays. It's, not just social media. The things that have changed is how we have been influenced through different social channels. Prior to the radio, life was very simple. The radio bought an element of the outside world into our home lives, then we had the television this gave us even more exposure to the outside world. I believe all this outside influence adds to the complexity of life. We're are now at a stage where most of the Western world walk about with a phone in their hand, the phone brings the world to your finger tips in an instant! People now have so many options. I would say people in parts of the world that are less developed are probably emotionally a little more happy as they still have that element of simplicity in their lives.
@@SP-cx2qi I disagree with the first part and not in the way you think and I agree with this the second part. What you have to understand is one alot of the content and things you seen online aren't an actual representation often times of what people actually believe its a snapshot of one aspect of their behaviour and doesn't capture the entirety of their beliefs and interactions with the outside world. Secondly, if you have heard of the dead internet theory, you would understand that its becoming harder to verify if the comment you see from someone actually has a real person behind it especially with the prevalence of NLP (also popularly known as GPT OR chatGPT). So you should caution the authenticity of certain posts online especially if there is a running theme amongst them. Lastly, is online conformity and this is saying this to be recieved well online despite have a drastically different view offline and in the real world. So you have to factor all of this in and realised that this can paint a picture of negativity based on how people behave on social media but you do have to take things with a pinch of salt online.
edit: Forgot to mention that an overwhelming number of people don't engage socially on social media that you may not encounter or heard of I know alot of people that had quit or never got caught up using it in the first place, and you have those who use it moderately but not to the extent of the people you refer to as.
Funny how the lucky winners always say playing a loaded game is worth it. Personally the sooner the corrupt disgusting system melts down the better.
Often these supposed lucky winners are themselves living on borrowed time.
@@involuntarilychad4048 till the Norwood reaper comes to collect, or they die of a heart attack due to PED usage
👏🏾👏🏾
“Alphas” would never want the world to change bruh
@@Thelastetherborn deluded people don't want change. The only constant is change. If you're referring to males that game the system for their own selfish hedonistic proclivities they're not actual alphas. That's the mask they wear to fool women who lack discernment. And don't call me bruh, whatever that is, unless you'd like to engage in ad hominem attacks.
Both men and women today are choosing to stay single, not get married and not have children.
The divorce rate is over 50%. Being married today seems to add stress and financial issues to ones life.
Even people married 20 or 30 or 40 years are getting divorced today.
Yup
that and it seems like no one really wants to work things out or try anymore. People just keep trading for the next best thing and many have standards set so high that only 0.01% of the population qualifies as a "good man" in their books. Its tiresome tbh
That summed it up well. If given a chance to correct a mistake, I never would have gotten married and I wouldn't have had a child either. It's beyond devastating to see the person you love more than life itself be cheated out of any fairly normal existence. My.son is 22 and has no functional language or communication, he can't function to work and take care of himself and he'll never have any kind of romantic relationship with another person or be able to be a father. He's my sweet, beautiful little boy, but we've never er even had a conversation. Basically, he is developmentally like a 2 year old with a strong 22 year-old man body. I got him as many services and help that I could, but he is quite profound and rarely do cases like his improve enough for any type of remotely normal life. It is so unfair to him. He deserves better and I dud best I could while his Dad bailed out on us and I work full time to support myself. Had I had any idea, I would have had my tubes tied. I'd give up my life for him in a nanosecond. I just couldn't cure him. 😢😢😢
@@annmarieknapp2480 You did your best. That's all that matters and you tried.
1) Nobody wants to be plumber
2) Men r ok being plumber in exchange for 💵&👨👩👦.
3) 💃👩💻"I dont need no Man"
4) No incentive to be plumber
5) Men lose purpose & play 🎮s
Women problems are society problems, men problems are individual problem. Its everything you need to know.
And then our societies have us believe that it is male dominated and women need to be empowered. Reality is the exact opposite. Men need empowerment
Men do watch porn and r*pe so there is that.
I'd say the men unaliving other men and women is a problem for us all. Among many others
???
@@sarcodonblue2876 ah so like women
I am 39 years old never married and no kids. Getting married is not a requirement to live a happy life.
Agreed while i am younger then you how do you deal with the pain of meaninglessness?
@@SquarishLink Keep yourself busy so you don't think about it.
@@ClellBiggs lol so i can hit 40 then 50 and look back and see the only thing i did was earn money and buy things? yeah no thanks man. Ignoring the elephant in the room doesn't make it dissappear.
@@SquarishLink Then try to find someone to have a relationship with if you can't deal with the consequences of not having one. If you think you can find one or already have one then you're not part of the group this video is about.
@@SquarishLinkseems like you have the fomo effect
I realized that the secret to making a million is making better investment. I always tell myself you don't need that new car or that vacation just yet and that mindset helps me make more money investing.
What I think everyone need is a Financial Adviser, who can help you get in and out of any investment at any time and you'd sure be in Profit
*ROCH DUNGCA-SCHREIBER,* That's whom i work with
When men were having a hard time finding a partner no one cared, but now that women are having a hard time finding a partner it's a crisis. I advise men to keep getting passports I'm 26 year old male with a beautiful Cambodian partner and couldn't be happier 🎉
Smart man!
did that 25 years ago and still married
On it!
Same here, my surinamese girlfriend is the best partner
Yessir. been abroad for 8 years on China and couldnt be happier with the dating market. We gotta stop beating around the bush and lay the blame down in the west.
The main reason I'm not interested in dating, hooking up, or marriage is because women have become dangerous to men. From retroactively taking back consent, cancel culture, diseases, cheating, alimony, child support, getting you fired, etc. We're even seeing men avoid interacting with women at work. That is the main issue for me; it's a huge risk, and I'm not going to volunteer for that. I'm still going to live my life, work on my career, hit the gym, and enjoy my time with my friends. I'm just not dating.
As I a woman I would say I agree with you. Marriage or relationship with men is a bad deal. Even though you work as a woman, you are most likely to do all the house work, child birth is a danger, the stat says somewhere around 50% of women get financial help from the man if there is a child involved, the payment is somewhere around $200 a month. 80% of women are not satisfied in bed with men. So yes, I can go on and on it's a bad deal all together.
@@ToroMontana
Not a joke at all. Do you know how many women have been killed as prostitutes? It's a dangerous aswell as degrading profession. Nowadays. Most women make more money than any street waller or escort without even meeting any man in person. The Internet age has made that possible.
@@ToroMontanaprobably because prostitution is a horrible job that often leads to trauma
@@lisa6356 Yep, there's that too. Women entering the work force is probably the most important factor that killed relationships. There's no reason for women to want relationships anymore because they can be their own bread winner, which I'm fine with. Women should be able to do what they want with their lives. But wages have stagnated while the cost of living has increased yearly, which is to be expected when you essentially double the work force. And men don't really need women because everything women provided in the past has either been automated or made vastly easier. Neither sides really need each other unless they want a family, and not many people want that nowadays.
Child support largely depends on the man's income, so if you have a child with a man who's got nothing you can't expect to get much. I know men with great careers who lost an insane amount of income, while men who have nothing don't have anything to give. A LOT of women sleep with bums, and that really brings down the average.
As for the 80% of women who are unsatisfied with men, that's to be expected in a hookup culture. The majority of young men aren't even having sex, so you can't expect them to be good at it. The men who are having a lot of sex aren't going to bother learning because they're going to be with a different girl every other day. Studies show women have better sex with men they have emotional connections with, but women are just hooking up with men they find attractive. Women's bodies are all different, and they respond to different things, but no ones learning this because no one is sleeping with the same people for very long. There aren't real relationships anymore, there's just situationships. And when a man who hasn't had a lot of sex finally gets to he has dozens of other men he has to be better than while he has little to no experience at all. A lot of women say men are bad at sex as an own, but when you look at how people are moving it's not really a surprise; it's expected. Hell, a lot of girls aren't good either, guys are always talking about how bad girls are in bed, we just don't tell the world that.
All in all, there's really not much reason for anyone to have relationships, and it's honestly pretty interesting to see how things are going. The future sure will be interesting.
And I've discovered the joy of going solo to a good restaurant, eating fine food in silence and having a bottle of good wine and a brandy.
The absence of a woman means I can fully enjoy the experience....for half the price.
Glad I've experienced healthier relationships during my 20's and early 30's (before social networks 🚀). Good luck to newgenz, you'll need it.
Luck isnt helping.
I was 8 when social media came out. Around 12 when dating apps were launched.
Healthy dating is not something I have seen, let alone experience.
Future is Very very dark.
@@stopyourbullshit6231 That future is already here. You may call it the new normal, where every relationship and/or conversation feels like a chess game, a power play and who's gonna finish on top, with better outcome. Relative positioning on social media enabled this behaviour + many newgenz were "parented" by smartphones and soc. media, which opened the world for them. Too many options available, no need for connection, if something doesn't work, it's easily replaced, like a product, which is the scariest part.
back in the days, when life was still a bit normal yes...same counts for me!
My mom had 6 kids , uneducated and remained in a severely violent relationship because she had no education / job. She always said how do I run with 6 children. She made sure that we educated and employed so that we dont suffer the same fate. Many many women are pushing themselves hard at school and on the job because living under a man can be so dangerous. Unfortunately, too many females have seen / experienced this. Marriage has to become safer so that females choose it. Not all men are abusive but this is still something that should form part of this conversation. Why are females pushing so hard for education and advancement? What is pushing them? Survival instincts pushed me very hard.
Your logic seems sound but your mother had six children and she is therefore an extreme winner within evolution. Despite her suffering, her lack of education served her extremely well when it came to proliferation. Religion, for instance, often denies women education for this very reason since religion spreads mainly via the womb.
@@scania1982How is evolution benefiting the mother while in an abusive relationship?
@@susanlovesjava4961 because of the many childrem.
Yup my mom lived a similar life. 5 kids. My father was abusive and never around only around when it benefited him until he woke up one day and decided to leave my mom to her to raise all her kids not knowing the language nor having any experience neither education. He left his family for a younger woman.
The reality is that most men create single mothers and once they no longer care for the mom they no longer want the children either.
This is why I will never trust a man that much to give him the opportunity of making me a single mother. The solution is 4b Men are the problem!
@@SC-sn3xs You let your past cloud your judgement. Where are the statistic for this? I have one for you that is well documented, who initiates the most divorces men or women?
This is really simple: the world is changing entirely too fast for people to keep up with things. Men and women are confused and trying to adapt and adjust in real time. It is exhausting trying to keep up with it all and it is showing in all these stats.
Nothing has changed.. it’s called hoeflation.
Yeahhh that's not the case, the legal framework overshadowing all of this takes it from an organic learning process and just fills the situation with risks outside of the control of the men.
The government and society as a whole does nothing but bail women out of bad choices and even lies to them about the impact. It's a very basic cost benefit analysis from mens side of things and then them openly sharing their view on it.
Men did not change... the only thing that changed its women bad behavior dont get punished but rewarded. SO they chose to show the besteial animals they are.
Nothing has really changed, people were predicting this ten years ago at least.
I’m not confused at all, I’m fact things have never been clearer to me as a man. Some women might be confused but I think it’s just women being women at the end of the day
The lack of job security and a stable future has impacted everyones ability and desire to get married, have a baby, buy a car or a home.
When you are insecure and not able to support yourself you can not support a family or buy a home.
There are a lot of basement dwellers in moms homes.
I make 100k a year and can't afford much that's just inflation wages can't keep up you need to make 200k a year or more to have. A family and a house payed for nowadays. It's just not worth it for most men to get involved with any woman
Why a large group of women support the globalist plan, duped, to make them dependent on the government. Government will become your partner, your family, or your god. Enter hybrid-Communism now taking over the west.
Also most men want to marry a virgin but it’s impossible with the current laws in place. Hence the passport bros
what? lol hell no
The father pays for and renovates the home but it’s always referred to as the “moms home” because men aren’t viewed as human.
Why should a man buy a house if in the eyes of the public, it won’t even be seen as his house?
Why do we never consider that men had to settle for women they never wanted?
Preach. People act like most men had highly desirable supermodels handed to them.
Yep. Many many millions of men were burdened with the responsibility of looking after women they didn't want and raised families with them regardless, because it was the right thing to do for the children and society. As soon as women do not want the men on offer,it becomes a societal crisis, because women are not prepared to make any sacrifice in this respect. Nobody ever says this, even those who are having this conversation. The sacrifice of men is treated as an assumption, a non-factor that will always be there, a behaviour that men have no choice but to play out. The place we're heading now is the place where men stop making that sacrifice and go their own way. A lot of people have an unpleasant surprise ahead of them when they realise what this means.
What a pathetic victim mindset. "Oh, I had no choice but to get a woman I don't want pregnant..." What??
This. This kind of thing is why we don't want the majority of men. Nobody wants men like this, because there is no REASON to.
@@zeno2501 in reality, it appears people are trying to talk around the fact that men are refusing to make these sacrifices any longer.
That's why there is a crisis. Not because women have stopped doing their traditional roles. The crisis began when men started to reject their archaic, antiquated scrificial riles in search of a new purpose.
Gutting the middle class and tossing the lower class with drugs is crippling… also the toxic crap being pushed on men and women you end up with Kim and Kanye wannabes…. Slow motion train wreaks that don’t look so great without the bling in the background.
Sadly, we are all under hypnosis and (almost) everything we consume through movies, music etc. has a hidden (very bad) code, that is implemented deeply into our subconsciousness and is incarnating into our physical and emotional world.
@@nikulauz💯
It's likely that with the middle class being gutted alot of people feel they can't afford to have a family. Also with finances more difficult likely there's less long term thinking and planning going on.
NEVER EVER date someone from work, people! That is a potential problem you don't want to face.
Yeah, don't deficate where you eat hits home despite the crass nature of the phrase. Very risky.
never date a single mom
I don't agree. People spend a lot of time at work so it's natural to get to know people there. I would say, leave it as an option, but tread very carefully.
@@projectacuhope The problem with dating a person from work is that it is goes sour, your ex co-worker can now sabotage your livelihood. It’s a no-go zone.
@@demonicaxeman7264it totally depends on the value of the person you're dating, you gotta screen her/him and the family. Dating at work is actually a better thing than online dating
My experience, women are looking for the top 5% of hot guys. If you're not 6'2" with a chiseled body and handsomely good looks they're not interested. Then those 5% of highly attractive men quickly figure out they can have any woman they want and start using them versus looking for a serious relationship. Now that everyone does internet dating it just makes this worse because women will have a recipe or check box and if you don't meet that they swipe left and keep going. Also, there are plenty of websites like "Are We Dating The Same Guy" which gangs up on men. A woman can get mad at an ex-boyfriend and trash him all over the internet trying to destroy his dating life. Soon it becomes obvious why a lot of men are zoning out...
The percentage of those guys you speak of is way way less.
6'2: 4% of male population are 6'2 or above.
Good physique: Let's say 5% actually work out consistently for years to achieve that. In the US almost half are obese now, in the younger age groups 35% are obese.
High facial attractiveness: Using normal distribution, a highly attractive face(8/10 or above) is probaly like 2% of the population.
So 4%*5%*2%=0.004% of men, not even counting a bunch of other factors. That's also close to the percentage of megamillionaires in the US(0.003%). Kinda hilarious if you think about it. That kind of guy is as rare as someone with 100mil in the bank.
Men do the same thing tho! They want a hot woman who’s super young. Stop acting like only men deal with this issue
@@pr23487no they dont
6’2 and above is pretty common in Germany. I’m a 5’7 woman and I feel short here sometimes.
It depends on where you live
@@pr23487but most men will be happy with an average 5/10 woman who doesn’t let herself go and makes a good wife and mother. Women, not so much regarding men
It's simple: I don't want to literally work myself to death, if I have any choice.
As Tom talked about in the beginning, if your wife/SO steps up, she'll expect (require) you to do that as well, even if you're objectively doing just fine.
A relationship isn't worth my life. Maybe I'd think the opposite if I had a family of my own, but, I don't.
I feel the same with men. A relationship is nice, but not if it expects from me what I am not willing or able to give. I agree with you. It's a bit too much for all parties.
Put it out there exactly what you want and see what you get back. Maybe we'd be surprised.
@@annmarieknapp2480that’s the problem though - we are all much more narcissistic than our parents s as bf grand parents. Neither side is willing to “give” at all - we just want things to go smoothly all the time. This is a pipe dream . Older generations would laugh at us
You can’t “step up” your employment.
A job is like your race or gender, it’s assigned to you at birth.
No the answer is to get outside the box. Expand your board. The world is vast and there are many woman around the world who would love American men. This is only a issue for men who need a American wife. The world is huge. Change the market not kill yourself to meet growing unrealistic expectations. There are thousands of men traveling outside the country for traditional woman.
39 years old male. I have been single for the past 3 years. No dates at all. Occasionally I see hookers. After a painful breakup I came across red pill content and it completely changed my life. It explained 15 years of miserable relationship and dating experiences. I was completely clueless and I exposed myself to abuse and manipulation. These days are gone. I then lost interest in dating and in women in general. In my clueless years I had a very positive, unrealistic, idealistic and false perception of women that came from all the social conditionning I was exposed to as a man since I was a child. It is kinda sad to say but now I often feel disgusted by female behaviour. My next goal is to buy a small homestead and share it with a dog and other animals.
Good for you!!! Because I feel the same abt men! 😊
@@liswilson614Please don't take it personal.
You are so disgusted by female behavior yet still need them to full fill your "needs". The irony.
@@liswilson614 If you are dating men and having terrible experiences do you think that man thought he was better than you?
@@jasonu3741 A psychotherapist said he's tired of hiding behind mens behavior. So now I know the true psychology of men and its NOT good. I thought it was me the whole time HA boy was I wrong!!!
It's not worth the hassle. What used to be a fun process with men taking the lead, sometimes with some sadness and disappointment thrown in (all part of the journey!), has become draining and oppressive.
The dangers that are out there for young guys are obvious.
This guy misses it completely.. it's not women calling the shots, it's men saying "yeah, no thanks love".
What dangers?
exactly.
It's both men and women. Failing to see this, makes any analysis a lost cause. Men are pulling away, because the juice isn't worth the squeeze. But women are the ones making the squeeze so painful by raising the standards men have to meet.
I don’t know where all
You guys come from
But in my country men treat women like trash not the other way around. Totally peaked since tinder. Think you can even track it back to the time when tinder started where a human being was more than just a swipe. Agree hassle not fun or worth it anymore
@@SillySpanish I assume you're a woman, so you wouldn't know how most men are being treated (or ignored) by women. But please elaborate how women are being treated badly in regards to tinder. Honestly curious.
Vibrator’s production is at it’s highest 😂😂😂
I guarantee women for the most part unless they're overly picky can get a man to have sex with them. I'm calling bs
The end part of the podcast really solidifies a type of message that all men fundamentally understand once they reach adulthood and that message is "no one cares, no one is coming to save, figure it out yourself or perish". It's a type of reality that women really do not have to face, especially in the modern age with infinite social safety nets. It's a strange transition to go from feeling like a child to realizing you're now just viewed as a burden unless you start producing value for society or family group.
That issue actually plays into the single men problem because most men have no issue at all with that position in life and will fully embrace it. The problem now is that our efforts are not properly respected or reciprocated, in fact you could go so far as to say they inherent rights are just outright abused and disregarded. The family court system is the most egregious affront to everything that a man is, that you can have all that you worked for in your life literally ripped away from you in a moments notice and then extend the impact of that over the next 20yrs. Most young men these days see this, do the mental calculation and say "yeah I'm not going to risk all that" and withdraw from the dating market because there is no end goal left for them.
The bottom line is women don’t like most men, and don’t want most men. 50% divorce rate, 70% of divorce applications filed by women. Women don’t need us.
Wow. Getting everything ripped off after 20 something years of busting my butt(solo) to maintain a family of 5 hits home to me. It's a crying shame. Literally. Yet life goes on. Peace.
No. Most men never get a chance. You can not choose to avoid marriage, if you don’t have a chance to begin with. Sex, marriage and relationships are mostly monopoly of females.
@@theajbailey no those women still have thousands of tinder matches. The guys posting that they're middle aged making 6 figures and turning down the cheerleader homecoming queen, are really the sons of those women.
Every young guy I know has a girlfriend , so it isn't most of them. They should be more cautious, but they're not. They internalize the message of she's the boss from what I see.
If women want men who are more successful than them by and large, then it must necessarily follow that men will have to succeed more than them. In other words, women force a necessary inequality between men and women while at the same time calling for equality.
And calling for the state to enforce this equality when it doesnt happen in a normal competituve environment
Maybe it's like supply and demand. Women insisted to go into the workplace. With more money, demand increased and prices increased. Now, it's harder for women to stay at home like before. Then, women demanded to be well educated. They wanted more educated men but the supply didn't change. So, the cost is higher.
OP makes a brilliant observation!!
I think they like it this way and actually do want some men who can't compete on the handicapped playing field to be unable to marry/procreate. They are very eugenic creatures in their natural behaviour. But the problem occurs when they think they'll be the ones who are good enough to get the dwindling portion of men that are actually "viable" as mates. Self serving bias and excessive self confidence. They don't actually want men to be more attractive collectively, they want to be picked over other women to compete for the men who managed to succeed despite the deck being stacked against them and to gloat over the women who either couldn't find an attractive man who settled for one 'beneath" them.
@@josefranciscodasilvaeolive674 Look at Japan and Korea. It looks like they guys just plain gave up and they work their asses of
Everything except the importance of fatherhood falls true in this talk. Fathers teach physical thinking and a sense a comforter moving in the world. For little girls growing into adolescence a dad teaches her she is lovable, important and valuable before being valued for her sexuality by men outside the family. This is crucial for her healthy relationships in her future. And her family’s.
Functions of a father: socialization agent, prepares his child for reality and teaches the boy how to be a man and a girl how to be a woman.
@DeLiqueRS both how to contribute toward society vs drug addicts.
@@A_n_y_t_i_m_e a man can't teach a girl how to be a Woman anymore than a Woman can teach a boy how to be a man.
What about when a mother lacks the capacity to love her children. Why does this happen? Is it always tied to substance abuse or psychotic drug treatments used in the (CIA) Monarch and MK Ultra ops that were organized, designed and created to find guinea pigz aka "citizens" as TEST SUBJECTS at UCLA MENTAL HEALTH CENTER.
My mother is definitely one of them. She is crazy as F and still alive at 97! Crazy a$$ world...
@DeLiqueRS I'd add normalizing to that. Not many people have an established normal so they fall into social media normal. A father create a normal world for the child. The child can go on adventures knowing they have a normal to return to
I’m 25. My last dating relationship was traumatizing. Woman was Lying, cheating, stealing, lack of hygiene, indecisive, sneaky, goes out of her way to connect with people who you don’t like or are a threat to my family. Like a whole opp. Losing money & time left & right just to deal with a psyco path, let alone it literally will piss you off dealing with those girls, you’ll find yourself breaking & destroying stuff bc of her.
How long did you date her?
so why u dated her if she was so horrible?
Good you learn young. Many of them are intolerable. Unless you get a passport. They’re a lot more pleasant but still difficult.
ive had a string of several of these, the truth is you dont always see those toxic traits when you first meet them. many of them hide these traits and actions for a while until they are more emboldened, or maybe those women are too broken themselves to see they can have a more successful/committed life than that. im 37 and ive had ones that snuck out to cheat, used me for money, used me to cheat on others, my last ex took almost 3 years to show her true colors - "suicidal" (for attention) - then cheated and broke it off with me (i would guess out of guilt) but then proceeded to continue to cheat on that next guy and on/off again the relationship and now has a kid and they basically lowkey hate eachother, and since then i was talking to another woman that wouldve been great for me but kept giving me excuses of either "i dont think it would work out" or that she "rather date other women" - only to recently turn up preganant and doesnt even know who the father is... so yeh tbf women havent acted like having a family is what they really want, rather what they seem to portray is that they would rather not be tied to anyone or any commitment, use whoever they want for whatever they want without much worry of moral repercussions, and not be forced to care within society who gets caught in the middle... yeh i think the larger part of men being out of the dating market is because of the examples of atrocious behavior they see in women on the average, its not superficial variables here, its that their attitude is just awful and they dont seem to care if they are awful people by virtue of treating randoms like garbage - and if nothing in society will hold them accountable for their actions then they never will be.
@@darrellphy7128 passport means nothing, it's about her personality, not nationality
It’s not that I’m an incel or even that I am a misandrist. I have done the marriage and raising stepchildren dance, was blindsided by a divorce and lost more than half my income and possessions. It took me years to recover. When I did recover financially and was back to being myself again I dated for a while, got involved with another woman who did the same thing but from a cohabitation standpoint - we were just living together and one day I came home to changed locks and another guys car in the driveway.
So I’m pretty much done even acknowledging that the other sex exists.
At this point I’m too old to have my own kids, most women seem to be way more masculine than feminine and have unreasonable standards for even wanting to have a simple conversation, much less actually dating.
It is my opinion that second wave feminism truly has hurt both men and women, hypergamy is out of control and women no longer know how, nor want to, be reasonable human beings with regards to the fact that men are human and will occasionally not be the perfect creatures they wish us to be.
Add to all of that the sheer number of negative interactions that I’ve had with women post- shutdown ( I swear, people in general forgot how to be decent while we were in forced isolation) and I am no longer looking for social interaction, much less a relationship with anyone.
Just my two cents.
@mattwhite8579 The very same thing happened to me as well. Back in the old days most women were totally the opposite of today, and they were real ladies and very old fashioned too. Today most of these very pathetic idiot women cause most divorces.
Another factor that is not discussed often is how the rise in overweight and obesity affects the dating market. When women feel fat, the last thing they want to do it go out and act seductive. They might also want to stay in hoping that the next diet will be the last one. The decrease in dating may actually be largely a lack of desire to date when you're overweight.
I just ended a 5 year relationship over a weight gain issue- so you might be right.
I've thought this a long time.
yes and since the places where you may meet other men are essentially meat markets, you are competing against the skinny/thin beautiful ladies or the plastic surgery babes. This is why overweight and obese women stay indoors and prefer to eat themselves to oblivion and would rather do that than have sex with a man that will never choose her anyway.
I heard someone suggesting that because a lot of people of both sexes are overweight the attraction on both sides is going down and less couples are formed because of that. I don`t know if there is anything to it, but it would be worth exploring.
Agree with this, and I'm a slim attractive female that over 50% of men who are fat, there is NO WAY I would consider having sex with them!
The foodie call thing is so funny. Me and a buddy were just talking about this.
There are women in my area that go on social media and ask men if they want to meet them at the bar. The guy shows up, buys their drinks and food (some of these girls actually order the food to-go), and then they leave.
They string some of the same guys along for years.
I dont go out to the bars much anymore, but the last time that i met some friends for drinks, i saw some of the same women that were hanging around the bars ten years ago.
They are still at it. Most if them drive bashed up cars, and have a string of DUIs. But, they are still tricking men into buying their drinks.
It's hard to undo all the red pill knowledge at our fingertips. Once you know you know and it's ruined dating for me at age 38. I know too much so I figured what's the point?
Get your passport and immigrate
@@jamesmanter8731 just because you changed the race of woman you date doesn't mean red pill philosophy won't apply. I believe they're all mostly the same.
It’s a blessing and a curse.
You can use your knowledge to very pragmatically navigate society and the sexual/relationship markets. That said, if you can’t turn off your dismay regarding your knowledge, you won’t find fulfilment regardless of your amount of success.
@@bribri1657 Women are opportunistic not fluid like all the idiot moronic psychologists say as they need to be.
A pregnant woman is the most vulnerable being on Earth. Hence she makes a decision that will 1. Provide her and her offspring with the highest chance of survival and 2. With the highest status.
In the welfare sodden, valueless, LGBTXYZ preferring, male hating West a man is disposable. She need'nt worry about survival because the filthy uselss Govt will give her a job as it employs the majority of wahmen or will directly look after her material needs. Hence men become useless to her.
So she seeks status and if she is relatively attractive that status will be found through finding a useless partner who has a full head of hair, nice tan, wide eyes but is a bad boy maggot. This is the counterculture. In fact relationships may mean nothing to her she might prefer casual flings even if it lasts two years before she gets bored of the same penis and seeks the feels from another relationship. Women initiate the majority of break ups.
In the Philippines where there is no stinking welfare, endless govt jobs and hand outs coupled with a conservative catholic family tradition educated men are greatly preferred because they earn much more than the useless surfy deadbeat. Womens sexuality is cultural. In the West a well educated hard working high earning man is anathema to the modern woman. She is more interested in his tan, dreadlocks, guitar playing surfie lifestyle because these are the men the arsehole mainstream Western media worship.
Red pill knowledge merely was another torpedo fired into an already torpedoed and sinking ship when it comes to relationships with women. A lifetime of negative experience with women ruined it for me.
Marriage and family doesn't necessarily bring more happiness, it gives purpose fulfilment and a sense of leaving a legacy (death isn't as finite for those with children).
I think arranged marriages have a better success rate for numerous reasons--often partners are picked to be compatible, and also, they generally don't try to be 'everything' to each other, rather, good partners to raise children and run a household. 'Romantic' partnerships seem to often have much more abiguity and do not always start with any thought of compatibility for partnership.
I think one of the biggest hurdles in modern relationships is the wrong mindset. When you enter an arranged marriage, you already have a mindset that is more pragmatic and solution focused. Whereas most people today have a combination of perfectionism, fomo and lack of relationship skills.
True
There's also the incredible amount of support from and accountability to the families that arranged the marriage. In our modern world, family often has little to do with how a relationship is going. The most you get from family in modern society is advice, or support if it ends badly. In cultures with arranged marriages, troubles between the couple are handled much more seriously, often even formally, with mediation done by the couple's elders in the family. The families are invested in the couple continuing, so they put real effort into mediating conflicts and offering real solutions. It also becomes a pressure on the couple to find working solutions to their conflicts, because divorce could mean more than just disappointment from their families but actual disfavor or even complete disownment. If your family is the one thing you depend on, more than the government or the rest of society, you'll be more likely to stay in a less-than-ideal marriage to keep your family's favor, and if a family wishes to keep its new ties with the other family, they'll invest their own time and effort into helping couples resolve conflicts.
Guidance is essentially what we have traded away for more independence and freedom in our relationships. We are much less controlled by the family, but being on our own like this means we often do not benefit from their decades of experience in making marriages really work, either. Because families in modern cultures do not fear a couple's divorce the same way that arranged marriage cultures do, an unhappy spouse often hears "we support you no matter what you decide, so do what will make you happy" and we're left to figure out what the hell that even is on our own. If a family gives an unhappy spouse actual good advice, there's not even much of a requirement for them to even follow it.
@@brianjones9780 Yes. Well said. :)
They also generally don't have an extensive sexual and relationship history creating significantly fewer comparisons in the marriage later on
What is always missing in these conversations is to consider what men want and need. Is always about the women.
More and more men look at all of this and think. Ok. If I manage to jump through all these hoops, what do I get?, what about what I want in a woman.
More and more man realize they are not gonna get what they want no matter what they do. The woman they want at his side does not exists anymore.
I’m seeing this in younger and younger guys. They check out and look at woman with disgust and contempt. I debated my nephew about this and I don’t have a single argument against his view.
Men have had it all for eternity. How typical that you can't see that. Hope you get the woman your mentality deserves, if any woman wants you.
That’s why revolutions and wars are coming. I think women will lose their rights in the very near future
@elizabethk3238 You mean top-tier men had it all. Most men struggled in life. You're either hypocrite or clueless.
@@elizabethk3238 Apex fallacy. Most men were peasants working the fields all day not even knowing if they have something to eat, married to mediocre looking wives, and were sent to die in wars for people they didn't even know.
It really comes down to personal values. I dated girls and we just had good times. No harm no foul. When you find a woman that believes in you and you believe in her then you have something to build on. Many women want the wedding but do not want to be wives. You have to find someone who likes being with you thru good times and bad. Not so easy these days. I do not see marriages lasting 10 years much anymore. 50 years its not going to happen.
It is all about training women and men to be aware of what they are doing wrong. I advised my niece who was making 1million a year to advise her boyfriend who was making 50k per year. I told her she should not look down on her boyfriend but rather think about herself as a successful party and gets now to chose her partner based on love rather than financial needs.
Good now let's hope he won't dump her cause she earns too much and is "emasculating" him. Happens quite often. Look at Shakira and Pique.
@@Narcotic_Venus Ah yes because all men are insecure and all men do that.
Quite sexist of you to assume as much. Funny and ironic how often people, and women in particular, make sexist statements about men and they completely gloss over it without stopping and rectifying their statement or taking accountability for the mistake they made. They just ignore it. Perhaps men should do the same.
For better or worse a lot of men are going to turn to AI companions as a solution to this. For women I imagine many of them will continue competing over the top percent of men, but this may switch to being more about having children rather than companionship. They will also likely go down the route of AI long term and may even skip men altogether as better means of artificial insemination are invented. The future of male and female relations are bleak.
True, but once AI and robotics are good enough and it becomes literally indistinguishable from a person, it won't actually matter.
@@restingsmirkface Yeah, but it's sad that aspect of life is going to be lost. I dated when I was younger and I enjoyed meeting new people. That's something people in the future won't experience. Even sadder are the large numbers of men that would have been great fathers that will miss out on that experience as well.
@@restingsmirkfaceI can just imagine 30 years down the road - 50% of men will be marrying hot female robots .. would you even have to introduce the robot to your family? I wonder how that conversation goes…?
@@brianmeen2158 Presumably, by that time it will be more socially acceptable. Or at least, not unheard of. Perhaps similar to the experience of tell your family that you're gay in the 1950s.
I think its more likely women just become obsolete. Men invent literally everything. Men will figure out how to have babies without women.
Great information! I am male. Last time I had sex I was 47 years of age. I am 60 now! Totally backed out!
Wow unbelievable for me at least you must be a saint
@@ajmalshah-ec5yb I'm no saint. Had my share of relationships this life! Don't lime being discriminated against by the ladies or the system.
@@GeeMann-ro8hh hi
What women don't understand is that men lose interest as they age. Guys cross the I don't care zone around 50. And these old ladies still want to be pursued. Good luck with that.
@@nap871 🤣🤣🤣I actually find this hilarious..I have more men my age (55) and older who try to get me to have sex with them and will say or do anything except learn about me as a person. My answer to them is I have morals and values I am not hook-up material.
A teacher or lecturer asking one of his adult students out is a big no no these days. A manager asking out someone that reports to him is a big no no these days.
Women’s sex drive is not low, it is differently approached and achieved.
women are having sex with each other.
If you need to be incentivised financially to have sex rather than trading sex for sex, your sex drive is low
And you are saying that men do not need to be incentivized? Why objectifying the women if men do not need to be incentivized to have sex? Trading anything for anything then shows low sex drive for men also do not you think?
@@tamartamunanemsadze7750 I am saying that, yes. Most men would have sex when offered for its own sake. Most women would not.
Are you calling women prostitutes? You must be very closed minded person.
Fantastic discussion guys. Important point from William at 2:23:00 about the need to improve cross-sex mind reading to reduce hostility between the sexes. Much of the resentment seems to stem from misunderstandings (or outright cultural lies) about the wants and needs of both men & women. We're bombarded relentlessly about the sameness of the sexes when this is not the case.
The "misunderstandings" comes from the left and the media because they want us to fight.
They want us to compete with each other - hate each other, out-perform each other, live seperate.
It distracts us from real problems, and now they got all sexes being stuck at work forever instead of just men.
Which is great for the government, everyone is tired and busy all the time and pay taxes so they get more money.
@@kryptk13"So what you're saying -" Calm down, Cathy Newman...
You mean like the cultural lies and pseudoscience contained in this video? No two men are the same. No two women are the same. Videos like this that try to put every man or woman in to a homogenous group do so by citing pseudo scientific evolutionary psychology. Take for example Tom’s initial struggle to deal with his wife no longer being a stay at home housewife. This is not a widespread attitude held my men in general. This would not hurt all mens egos. People who broadcast pop evolutionary psychology are actually just broadcasting their own insecurities. Instead of trying to understand what is wrong with the rest of the world, they’d be best served to try to understand what is wrong with them.
@@JohnODonovan1987 Denying evolution and its impact on our psychology is just sticking your head in the sand. There's no denial within evolutionary psychology that there is a broad spectrum of personalities. Everyone is not the same. That does not mean, however, that no common patterns can be gleaned. You want to swim against the stream and live as if men and women are the same and we can say nothing sensible about the general preferences of either that is your choice, but you will be missing a big part of the picture in doing so.
@@alaron5698 I didn’t deny evolution. You just made that up. It’s the impact on our psychology that is is both unfalsifiable and also unprovable. Pop evolutionary psychologists can’t even tell you what the pre evolved state was. Hence why a lot of it is rightly dismissed as pseudoscience.
I think a lot of discussion around the provider-protector role for men in relationships often misses out a big thing that we men can provide but we often don't realise we can provide because the discussion just seems to focus on the idea of men being the provider of mere material resources. My point is that in a world in which the greatest challenges a woman faces are the existential problems of life, isolation, meaning and mortality, a man can offer masculine emotional support in an intimate relationship. We can be the man standing in the darkness during the dark night of the soul, be the one staring into the abyss with them and holding them when they feel unsafe and insecure. For the woman we are in a relationship with, we can be the rock that doesn't crumble when they face the death of their parents, or a miscarriage, or even the ravages of old age and a terminal illness. The real question is are we man enough to fulfil the role that the women in our lives need? I mean, as a man who has a sister, I feel I have been able to give her masculine emotional support through many of her life challenges, so it's easy to do this for the women I date, too. Maybe if you don't have a sister or nieces or any female relatives this sounds weird to you.
women run when u as a man cant pay your share of the rent and bills. Ideally you're there to pay all the bills or the upgraded lifestyle. Women turn to other women for emotional support. It's men they turn for physical provisioning in exchange for sex and intimacy.
You are one of the few men who recognize this. I never depended on a man for an upgraded lifestyle. But when I unexpectedly suffered a heart attach at 60 my husband was there for me just like he always was. And when he died from Covid I often think of him, his wonderful humor and personality, how he loved his children and his family.
This would be fantastic but few women have ever experienced that or even close to that
Are you real? Men like you are difficult to find. I have 3 protective brothers and Mom Dad married for life and love.
@@MacSwanSorry for your loss. 🙏
Long-lasting change occurs through small steps, repeated regularly, over time. Look no further than your next habit and remember to congratulate yourself every time. You are unique in all the world. Never forget that.
Fabulous Advice!!
Yeah, the 'perceived as violence' thing is what's completely got me out of the market. If I make a bad joke, as I am want to do, worst case we can groan through it and proceed with an apology from me. If I try to approach a woman and come off poorly, she doesn't like me, it's a bad day/time to try, etc. I could be accused and have my life ruined.
Edit: Somethng I've noticed upon reflection across all the platforms I've viewed info like this and my personal life is that the risk of social media seeking behavior and associated shame/blame for saying hi has a pretty close correlation to some city centers (but not all). I've known a ballpark hundred girls through the school system on the outskirts of a bigish city and another hundred through college in the city. Not counting parents, only 2-5% of those girls had 'dangerous' personalities in my mind. While it's reassuring to know it wasn't 50% or something crazy, as I don't scroll social media beyond UA-cam, I'd be playing a game of poker with half my cards covered if I tried to actively search for a date. Better to take it slow and see who I meet in life before taking any larger steps.
It's a tragedy. Now all we have are dating apps and you know how those work out.
In which way are you appraoching women that you have to worry about being accused of something and have your life ruined?
@@anthill1510 In no way, I'm just aware that I'm prone to make social faux pas and, as I work with young kids, a single false accusation could lose me my current and future jobs.
@@KayronTheFifth OK. What do you think could happen? I mean being "prone to make social faux pas" ends you in awkward situations where you made a joke that wasn`t funny, not in assault situations.
You can`t be that socially inept when you work with young kids?
@@anthill1510 It's ok to make a bad joke around kids of the age I work with because I can redirect it and them into laughing at me. My social mistake can serve a purpose in that interaction.
For regular interactions with women, I'm not afraid of it escalating into false claims, but taking it any further or inviting them into that relationship is where the danger is. Heck, due to an old mistake I made I do my best to suppress emotions beyond the basics among anyone but my best friends. Embarresment sucks, but I can handle that. If it were to become something that permanently affected my life like a false accusation, I'm not sure I could handle that...
Problem is a lack of oppurtunitys to meet women and the fact that social media and dating apps exist. Without these, thered be more relationships.
The internet is rapidly proving that the "open society" is a fantasy and that humanity absolutely cannot adapt to unconstrained capitalism and technological transformation of our way of life. We're breaking down at the most basic social levels. Something's gotta give, and there's not going to be a way back to anything resembling normalcy without some serious authoritarianism, at least in the realm of regulating the role technology is allowed to play in our daytoday lives. The capitalist class isn't going to like that and they may bring us to the brink of destruction trying to prevent it.
Plus dating apps are more for women
… Men and women's brains are connected in different ways which may explain why the sexes excel at certain tasks, say researchers. A US team at the University of Pennsylvania scanned the brains of nearly 1,000 men, women, boys and girls and found striking differences.
Male brains appeared to be wired front to back, with few connections bridging the two hemispheres. In females, the pathways criss-crossed between left and right. …
Look up: Sex differences in the structural connectome of the human brain.
Adding more details gets it deleted as spam.
so men are screwed because we are not needed.
There is nothing in the structure or function of the brain to mimic genitalia, neither the predominantly inner kind {stronger, more long-lasting and therefore superior, not to mention the holders of life-creation, nor the dangling outside the body & therefore weaker & more vulnerable]), other than coding in dna, there is no big fancy difference between the sexes except what WE CHOOSE; we get to have fun and play different roles for enjoyment and we may chose division of behaviors and chores and roles to play for courting and sexual play. The Y chromosome that makes man is a piece broken off the full complete X.
And there is no such thing as a 'connectome'
@@LeanN2Light A connectome (/kəˈnɛktoʊm/) is a comprehensive map of neural connections in the brain, and may be thought of as its "wiring diagram". An organism's nervous system is made up of neurons which communicate through synapses.
A simple google search can show you that there is. 😂😂
@@LeanN2LightI was a biology professor and this comment is completely incorrect. Men and women are extremely different in structure. On the other hand racial difference have more to do with environmental pressures of ancestors and are actually mostly insignificant
I’ve wanted a woman partner for as long as I can remember. But, at 41 it hasn’t worked out for very long and I am hard-pressed to find one. I am bad bad bad at talking to women, I don’t know the first thing about it. And I am too much of a “nice guy” apparently. So at 41 I am just trying to fix my life and live the best life I can. I just started a commitment to gaining a strong foundation for a career change. I am going to work in AI !!! I don’t have to get all psychological with dealing with a potential partner, worry about maintaining her and the whole game that goes with those two things. A woman can be very motivating but I can and will gain the motivation from myself and my fire desire to fix the wreckage of my past and excel like I’ve never excel before. When I am in a job that pays an actual living I hope to maybe adopt a son or daughter, although it is very hard to do that as a single man. In fact I don’t even know if they do that. One thing that has always given me a complex is I’ve never had a well paying job, despite graduating from a university with a good major, volunteering, and from a good university. I know Mexican immigrants with no degree who make a fuck load more than me. It’s all just forced me to be realistic, and tailor my goals accordingly.. I do believe in God and also the power of the extraordinary, and the fact that you never know what life is going to give you but after living a little while you begin to see the overall shape of your trajectory. It can be changed and that’s what I intend to do, as hard as it is with habits and default thought processes. It’s hard to change. But I’ve decided I’m going to. One default thought process I’ve harbored is being a victim to unfortunate luck. Over the latter years I’ve grown to hate the victim mentality. I accept my fate as much determined by the decisions I have made wittingly or unwittingly. So if I want to change I can’t be concerning myself with having a woman in my balance. At least I don’t think I can. I feel that’s a good enough reason to stay single. life and it’s organization is geared around couples and families. I will stay adapted and not focus on what does not apply to me. Being single one day at a time is not as bad as I thought as I was growing up and in early adulthood.
good luck man, i understand your dilemma. It's not any better when you earn more and are fit tbh.
You're doing great with your self discovery. Don't shut off anything or isolate and just go out and meet people. Do the things you like and you will meet your special person that way.what you out will come back to you. Give a smile get a smile. Keep working on YOU
@@jackieg9288 He's 41, how much time do you think he really has? if the man wants a family that ship has almost sailed unless he dates younger. Also who wants to raise toddlers in their mid to late 40s?
Trust God and not man. What for him will be for him. Tons of men are having kids at 40+ so he's fine. He had to grow and work on himself which he said he is currently doing and he is a better man now
You're on the right track. I'm a woman in her early 50's who feels similar to you. I think I'll marry a robot once they are available. Lol. And I'm going into the computer tech field too. God bless us all & God save the Queen as Pres. Biden would say:)
The career penalty is one of the main reasons I went from neutral about having to kids to absolutely never having kids. Life is too expensive for my income to take a hit. And as I never had a desire to have them, the choice was a very easy one. And I notice a lot of women, even with a desire to have a kid, not having them because it's all become so expensive and they just can't afford it.
When it comes to dating, a lot of men do still want children. That's a lot of men I'm immediately not compatible with. So I feel like this plays a role as well.
I 'm a 69 yr old male, never Married, no Children !!!! My Advice, stay Single !!!!
It's not a great idea to bring a child into a failing civilization and society anyway. The west is toast. The implications of a population collapse are ominous.
I'm a 30 year old male working as an software engineer and i believe that having kids if you aren't financially strong is just another way of pushing yourself into a miserable life and after facing a lot of criticism from my relatives and parents I even gave up on getting married or having a relationship. Now i enjoy my life and my money and have a own house and very recently bought my dream car. Now i feel like my life is fulfilled and wouldn't change a thing.
Do what makes you happy no need to satisfy others expectations.
When you've checked off all the boxes on your way bucket list, you'll realize how meaningless it all was, and likely regret not building your own family.
the only reason a man has to deal with a women is to have children.
half the population is women, if a man wanted sex he can find it.
there is a word for women who never have children.
freeloaders. deserving of contempt.
"Safetism" is a great word describing what's going on in today's bringing up children.
What they are not safe from is bad parenting, brainwashing from the left and unhealthy foods.
So something that has crossed my mind during this conversation is do men actually seek status for themselves or are they doing it to attract the mate. If they're doing it to attract a mate then the ai girlfriend thing will take them out of the game permanently.
Both
Well men that are a very rare in today society does what he does for him... males that are majority of the male population do it to attract a female.
Well, considering it difficult to get a job you actually enjoy and feel proud of that also makes you good money and doesn’t suck your soul away I’d say the average guy works these jobs for others aka family. Without family being an option most men don’t see a point when they learn to just do the bare minimum so they can enjoy their hobbies and get by.
I would sign up for an AI women.
Study have shown very successful men are very egotistical or selfish. It might be hard to maintain a marriage in the long run.
I don’t give a shit about status. I’m 5’5 Hispanic and make over 100k. If the women like it, it is what it is. 😂
Think this guy chugged an entire bottle of blue pills... Just work harder guys. The harder you work the more society will take from you and give to women for the goal of equality, but just ignore that and be a good little slave.
MGTOW MONK!!!
ABSOLUTE FREEDOM!!!!!
NO REGRETS!!!!
Mgtow sucks, been there done that. Imo right way is a combination of mgtow + training your bitch to be what you want.
If you are going to deprive yourself of having the family you want then you are not a winner, and thats where mgtow falls short.
But its a great start for simps that behave more like little girls than men...
The world is broken & the dating world is impossibly broken
I am thrilled as I reach old age that I have no children. I have had the best life,
Normally I absolutely hate long podcast interviews, especially those without subject time stamps, and I’ve been skeptical of some of Tom’s guests, but in this case William Costello knocked it outta the park.
Tom, kudos to you and your guest on this revelatory podcast! 👏👏👏👏👏
Really? Have you counted them all
Yes!👌
There is also Kodomo-beya ojisan, a Japanese slang referring to an increasing cohort of single, never-been-married middle-aged man who continues to live in the room where he grew up in his parents' house.
Tom, I love the content. Here I was thinking this topic wouldn’t interest me at all and I’m now ignoring my family hiding away upstairs listening to this entire podcast.
Very interesting discussion. Ive found the biggest problem is cock blockers - those who step in to block the getting together of people who are attracted to each other. The cock blockers are jealous or self imposed parents or do-gooders or competition or concerned friends... who really knows why. In each case blocking something that might have been a wonderful relationship or just making new friends makes me feel sad.
You are not that important. No one cares about your private life unless you are harassing someone.
I recently noticed my supposed friends doing this as I'm working game. Even though they are married. Pretty disturbing.
Cock blockers only do it for themselves out of jealousy. A girl cock blocked my friend saying her friend was too drunk to consent. A week later same girl is trying to pressure my friend while he is drunk into having sex with her. She wanted him for herself and she didn't care how drunk he was - she kept refilling his drink and made sure it never emptied while she stopped drinking. And when I say pressure I literally mean corner him and won't stop until he does while her 2 female friends peer pressured him. When I told everyone she tried to get him drunk no one cared because she is a girl.
If it was only that easy for me.
You don’t need to be married or have kids to live a happy and fulfilling life. The part about acquiring skills to add value to your circle of people was really a gem though.
Male loneliness is an epidemic, something needs to be done about this
You should date and have relationships when you're young and naive. Sooner or later you will come to the same conclusion. People are weak today, most are dopamine junkies not willing to fight for their relationship or family.
My son says he does not feel he can get a partner because he doesn't make enough money, and he does not seem to be sexually active. He is 28, has a job and a college degree, and has never had a girlfriend or dated to my knowledge. He is a gamer. I never saw signs of him masterbating...I suspect his hormone and endorcrine system, as well as me being a single mother with my own hormonal issues, plays a big part in this.
He beats off lol
Gotta teach them about the game before it starts otherwise it's game over.
He's not alone. For me it's not that I have no interest or don't get horny it's that there is no hope. There is no options. Even if you make good money or are good-looking.
Divorce has consequences.
@@Genevasplaytime blue pilled coper, no amount of game will help him except money and looks.
49:50
Tom says he married a woman back when that DID NOT WANT to have children, but he needs to really examine the POSSIBILITY, in fact a HIGH possibility, the she decided not to have HIS children.
We can see Tom is not a Chad, and he knows that, he says the ONLY reason she went for it was bc he was her TEACHER a position of power over her, and all its implications... so he is aware if he went that far in his reasons why she is with him at all, you can tell if you see her channel and how she speaks on the subject... Tom says men need to be strong enough to face the truth, and this is one that from the outside it seems too obvious to ignore. I have never seen a woman with a high level of attraction for a man (chad) that doesn't want to have kids FROM HIM... in fact that subject is never even discussed she just does WHEN (not if) the time comes.
So that leaves the reasons for why she is with him to ONE main reason: money, except now she is making her own money, so it is a race to the death for Tom to keep up always making MORE money then she does or the HIGH possibility of hypergamy doing its thing and she divorces him taking half his wealth with her, a high incentive indeed.
The final proof is if she divorces him and THEN has kids with Chad, and women are shameless in this aspect and all other women fall right behind her in theses sort of situations, she would turn and cry and say something like "I never thought I wanted kids but now AT THSI STAGE IN MY LIFE I see how important they are for women, no other achievement in my life is as important and I would give it all up for my kids, I never knew or imagine how fulfilled they make me as a woman, etc etc etc" But all of that is something lie true lies, she believes it but it is more that she just didn't want to have Tom"s children. She is not even willing to adopt feminine roles... Tom WANTS KIDS so the issue is she doesn't want HIS kids.
This is also why Tom might always be talking about the both of them being equal and how they discuss everything and how high up in a special pedestal over other pedestals he has place her, like she is his god or something. No, I don't see admiration, I see veneration in that. Tom would do well to explore other options NOWWW before that happens, have a few side chicks and see if as he says "it is easy for hi to catch feelings" and I assume she would in fact be ok with it, and use THAT later as reasons if not grounds for divorce... but it doesn't sound healthy the way he speaks of her as a god to him. it is not good enough to just respond "well, I don't agree.... I don't think that is the case..." when it is obvious by the way he speaks and describes his relationship, she is in charge and LET"S him think he is. And he will see this if he pushes herd enough for some truth to come out. These men are so damn weak in this one area, "I think women should be able to do WHATEVER it is they want...." what a recipe for a marriage!! I guess he will say too, "happy wife happy life.."??
SHE DOES NOT WANT YOURRRRRR KIDS.
How about ask men what they want, and actually listen to what they say. When you really ask men what they want then maybe you'll fix this issue.
Shaming men because they are not interested in catering to womens feelings at the detriment of men's lives is only making this issue worse.
Beta simps goin to do beta simp stuff.
Exactly they are making it worse.🤦🏾👎🏾👎🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤷🏾♂️🤦🏾🤦🏾👎🏾👎🏾🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was expecting this comment 😂
I had to scroll down way to far to see this comment! But better late than never!
If this is why men are alone. If you want a women in your life then you need to cater to her needs and fulfill them. She will do the same in return. But men don't want to give, contribute or listen. It's all about what you want only and that's not how relationship works so if men refuse to adapt and change, what is happening will continue. If you don't want to listen and only care about male needs either date yourself or date a gay man.
What I cannot wrap my head around, is how this dude can sit there for this long, and not have anything to drink.
Some years ago I started to communicate primarily with elderly people and with kids. Kids can always convince you that not everything is lost, older ppl can always convince you that this too shall pass. Everything in between is "The Great Crises" . Crises this, Crises that, Crises everywhere...... And you look on a 80 years old and on a 10 years old rolling their eyes :" Hold on to your chairs, crises ppl are here"
Humans are in 75 crises per minute from the beginning of our existent. We really need points for that durability.
Yeah, women have made it impossible for men to be kind to kids.
I love this William Costello. Smart as hell. Uses facts, statistics and study results to back up his theories...and yet SO easy and fun to listen to. He's like the University Professor who happens to be your next door neighbour ..almost like advice from your older brother who is studying the very topic you are discussing. Thanks so much for having him on the show.
Are men doomed? I didn’t think so until I watched this. Now I think they are.
It's back to women being ok sharing the most attractive richest men as they monopolized women, and society trying to passify all the extra lonely men with AI at best, or at worst, war. Their is going to be a lot of single mothers and tons of half brothers and sisters.
25 yr old incel man "i cant find a woman"
40 yr woman "im available"
25 y.o. (looks down at phone)
I once have a 22 dude into me (I was 47 at the time). He didn't match my criteria for a relationship. But it he has a great body and was really funny and gentle. No, we don't aim for young ones for real relationchips. That's a thing only for fragile ego men.
I think it's acceptable for a 25 year old to not want to date a 40 year old tbh. When people say they can't find a relationship, they are talking about those around their age and location.
@@anhangamirimthat’s the most idiotic thing I have ever heard
@@anhangamirim47 years old and still making observations that a 16 year old girl would make.
these podcasts are a waste of time... they do nothing to help stop the mating crisis, if anything, it just perpetuates it and reinforces the problems.
men... it's time for us to focus on brotherhood and ourselves... reaching that state of mind where we can wake up happy in the morning. wealth will not get you that state of mind and happiness... but your accomplishments and the bonds of broherhood will.
Well said just one reason why I'm going nomadic next year soon as I pay off the rest of my debts which isn't much can't wait America doesn't have anything to offer unless you can bend it towards your own will
Great talk about a topic that needs to be addressed more.
When he says: “we need to lionize fatherhood as well” the host disregards it completely, god forbid we say anything positive about men at all.
It's fascinating how Tom choses to use recklessness, commitment-phobia, etc., in the description of the video. It's also fascinating how the number of women in college is a celebrated instead of giving the nation a pause, and to start an affirmative action for men. Tom is a feminist. So he won't. But the guest was so concerned about his job that he didn't talk about the elephant in the room, feminism.
The word commitment-phobia shouldn't exist. If a man doesn't commit to a woman, it means he doesn't find her pretty enough or he doesn't hold her in high esteem. It's either one or the other or both.
Single men are saying: "The Juice is not worth the Squeeze."
You don't speak for all single men.
@@booboopriestess9321 Sure as hell speaks for a significant portion of us
If so, why are so many men crying about being lonely and not having sex?
@@Cybertech134
You don't speak for a significant proportion.
@@booboopriestess9321 You're not a man. You don't speak for any of us.
I have to disagree with Tom on this one. Not every man can be a part of the 1% - that is why it’s the 1%. We need an economy and dating culture that works for the 99%. Our economy and culture worked better in the 1950’s when unions were strong, single income househoulds were plenty, divorce rates were low, crime rates were low, poverty was low, and drug abuse was low. We admitted women to the workforce and doubled the supply of labor just to reduce the value of our own wages and ruin nearly everything else in our society. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!
A very fulfilling episode❤ made me appreciate the dynamic between me and my partner, and we are both fans 🥰🥰 this made me appreciate my partner even more, and we will continue till we grow old together to remember how we made it through the toughest times ❤
Love the topics and in-depth conversations. But starting to get put off by the hyper negative titles - TOXIC, DOOM, CRISIS in titles all the time, I get it you gotta play the algorithm but spreads fear and low level energy! You are better than the algorithm game!
NO HE ISN'T, ALL CITIZENS CANNOT HELP THEMSELVES. THEY ARE IN THAT DMV LIAR'S CLUB.
It's all about the $$$.
@@Arggggggggg for sure, sad but true. it speaks volumes that even Tom and other creators I consider to be very smart and tend to be above the usual consensus bs, still stoop to this level to be able to make money. the machine engulfs it all!
I agree and I hope he stops that. It's weird that long ago on UA-cam having a doom and gloom like title got you no where and it was looked downed on. How times have changed.
Women can build their strength in focusing on their own life journeys and being clear about their life goals. In going through a horrific cancer journey, it was the wisdom of the assigned psychologist that guided me in clarifying a peaceful existence with being the "sole proprietor" of my life. This doesn't mean one is alone nor lonely nor lacking. It simply means it is a different way of living vs. traditional paradigms. I have been so blessed in being able (through many sacrifices and hard work) to acquire education and build a prosperous career and fulfilled life in which I can more than provide for myself. Anything else is icing on the cake. I chose the icing.
yes yes and yes 💛!!! :)
Until you hit the wall and won't be able to take dick anymore or have kids, and eventually die alone.
Praying for you darling 🙏🏽 And I am so very proud of you. The mindset you’ve developed along the way is empowering. Keep sharing your story
Lol cool feminist, watch as a man says the same thing and every $hits on him.
When you are married every... SINGLE... MOMENT is owned by your spouse.
Nope. Saw my parent's fucked-up marriage.
None for me.
There is only one reason why it fails, dating through apps or arranged meeting is the most unnatural way to get couples. It is supposed to be very spontaneous. One cannot force romance, it just kicks in.
Not only that online date is well know to be flooded with people who gave ClusterB personality disorders. Which means you're doomed from day 1
.... and yet arranged marriage is the norm for India, China, Pakistan, Indonesia, etc.: some of the most populous nations on earth.
Dating apps are arranged relationships only instead of the parents it is a company that profits from both parties remaining single.
Men ARE stay at home fathers in many traditional societies. Modern life has men and women having to leave to go to a "job". People have always had to be productive but in some cultures (farming comes to mind), the children ate able to work with the fathers. Much of these issues are problems of our own making.
The issues are the laws and central banks
When two unmatched horses are hitched to a wagon, the wagon tends to get pulled in circles.
So much of this "issue" could be solved if one sex wasn't subsidized at the expense of the other. For every thousand hacking at the branches, there is one striking at the root
You hit the nail on the head. But its too politically unpopular to point this out.
The irony and hypocritical nature of that statement. Subsidies for women .... men you've had Subsidies for men for eons and in the last maybe 40 years if that women have acess and now we are taking it all away from you when women didn't even have an opportunity to go to work university ect until recently. Oh please. You all hate gold diggers yet OF allows you to throw money at women who don't even know your mothers maiden name but that ok and the gal who dares go get herself an education to support her self is downright stealing your spot that you may or may not have wanted. Baby jesus the jokes write themselves on here.
You men need to get together and figure out what you actually say.
No gold diggers but OF chicks are loaded the audience is 99% male.
No ladies at Uni stealing our spots because women should be reliant on the men to look after them. Men don't want to get married because women are 304s but we will marry women who aren't 304s but you should have smex with us because we said we like you. You say no to me your a 304 ( my personal favourite). MGTOW pack your passport let's go get young poor women who don't even speak our language and we are only attracted to their bodies and what they can do for us .... also men women just use us and take advantage. I just get bored with the constant blame game and lack of accountability tge hypocrisy is just ridiculous. Men don't know what they want and women don't care what you want because they want money and power. So men are becoming irrational illogical and emotional women are becoming cold cruel money hungry. I think the magnetic poles have switched and we are all getting a taste of the shoe is on the other foot or walking a mile in new shoes. Anyhoo pass me the popcorn let's watch this all burn down around us. About damn time the whole system is broken time fir a new one this one has outlived its purpose 😂
I'm 53 years old, never married. I never made much money so most women never gave me a chance. Being married to a woman seems like having a new nagging mother you have to check in with several times a day. Seems like I dodged a bullet.
Well the good news about the coming population crash is that the lanes on the freeway are really gonna start freeing up!
There always is a bright side
I would be leery of what’s in our food, water and air.
Tom, he’s saying COMPARATIVELY women are dropping. Not that men were headed out more because of Covid. Jeez. LISTEN please to your guest
8:00 Notice how the intimate partner violence increase with educated women is assumed to be the fault of men, as he goes onto imply that it is men inflicting cost on the woman to keep her there....he doesn't mention how it's possible that women compromising their hypergamous ideals might create resentment that leads to the provocation of her guy. Because no woman in her right mind hits a man, given the strength differential, women's violence is carried out through emotionally manipulative tactics. The problem is, no one takes emotional manipulation, at least the emotional manipulation of men, seriously. So the only abuse that gets reported is domestic, and the cause of the abuse is never reported. So all you ever hear is "man hit woman", not "woman manipulated the man, demeaned him, and berated him perpetually into he snapped and hit her". And so what you end up being fed is that in response to women being educated, men just start beating the crap out of them. Now, do you all know a handful of guys that are that unstable? What do you think it is? Guys get provoked, and the situation turns physical...or...women come home, say "hi, honey!" and the men just start throwing haymakers, as Mr. Costello would have you believe...????
The only reason why I'm afraid of being alone is because I'm scared of what happen when I get old, like getting sick and struggle in old age, who are going to take care of you?
To be fair, most women will leave you when you have nothing to offer them anyways so they wouldn’t help you even if you did have a woman.
@@iamkAIden but you still have the children.
Same thing happens to married people. The kids put you in an old age home and maybe visit once a year.
@@Danie678 project or business where they take care of old people...
@@iamkAIdenstatistics say that men are much much more likely to leave when the wife gets sick. Look it up.
Funny how the economic model doesn’t fit with the biological need to have a family (sarcasm). But we don’t question the economic model? I haven’t finished watching the video when I write this, so they do hopefully…
Most of the videos I've seen that talk about a mating crisis doesn't even touch on the economic model at all which I kind of find interesting I'm not sure if they're downplaying it but I watched hours of those videos and I have yet to see one that talks about it or if they did it was in passing and not in depth
Something that is touched on with incels and giving up, not trying to better themselves anymore to get a mate, needs elaboration. I’ve tried fostering a relationship with guys that aren’t taking care of their kid, aren’t pursuing a career rather than working a job, etc. However, when I encourage them to do better, they tell me outright that’s not who they are. It used to be that men wanted to do better to try and impress a woman. What can we do to get back to that? As far as I’m concerned, if you’re not willing to put in the effort, you have no right to complain women don’t want to be with you.
You're actually hitting on a key point. You have to look at the economic conditions. Wealth inequality is at ALL-TIME highs. Almost no jobs offer a pension. People work hard and never get anywhere. Wages have been stagnant for 50 years. The lack of ambition and hope, stems from an increasing recognition that this society doesn't reward workers, only the ultrawealthy, the rich get richer.
Tom talks way more about himself than the actual topic at hand.
Men with their passports are not concern.
36, 6”2 180 lb man in amazing shape. No kids, never been married and no debt. That’s what it looks like to hit the jackpot in 21 Century life. Until we return to the basics of understanding that romantic relationships are for the long term not short term, count me out.
Also a prediction. If “real” hard economic times hit, I bet the divorce rate is going to skyrocket. Why? Because the needs of a marriage are based due to the societal and cultural needs. My guess many people married thinking the world will always stay the same. It will be interesting if that happens.
U are also very humble:D
Just a little bit through this video, but listen, he mischaracterizes what hypergamy is. "There is some evidence that hypergamy is in decline" .....NO! hypergamy is an evolved, biological/psychological INSTINCT that will ALWAYS be there to influence the behavior of women. The MANIFESTATION of hypergamy may be variable, but the instinct will remain. Thus, women may be trying to consciously supress their instincts out of perceived necessity and "marry down", but it will probably lead to unstable relationships. They will still be influenced by hypergamy, probably grow disillusioned with their mate choice, grow resentful of their "inferior" partner, lose respect and attraction to him, contibute to their "7 year itch", and inevitably look for greener pastures.
I stopped dating years ago. No sex in years, not missing anything at all. No need to waste the rest of my lifetime getting hurt, abused, and used. The people that don't have a problem is because the man 9 times out of 10 are great at hiding everything trust me. If you are blessed 🙌 to have a good men, blessings to you.
and look at the comment section. talking about women merely as a tool for sexual pleasure. no one mentions wanting connection or love. the reason i will never have relationship ever again. men who want to receive and give love are just a few, so the chances to meet someone who is seeing women as more than just a sexual object are almost non-existent.
Totally agree, what ever happened to love and connection? It's all about me me me in this crazy world we live in nowadays@@Vivi-vg9lx
True. Single and sexless by choice for 11 years. I don't wanna be another's man hot sex toy ever again. If i'm gonna date again it's gonna be with an asexual man. At least then i know that i'm valued as a human being not for how i look like and what i can offer sexually.
@@Narcotic_Venus EXACTLY 💯 👏 🙌
@Vivi-vg9lx Exactly 💯 Men seem to always want someone else anyways, Soo I'm DONE WASTING MY TIME, seems like they chase us, we give in, then we still aren't GOOD ENOUGH, what's the point in ever DATING, or being with someone WHO ALWAYS WANTS SOMEONE ELSE?
1:13:00
As a man - if I were a heterosexual woman, I'd rather be the 17th wife of Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk than the first of a homeless guy.
Since I would do this myself, I can't really blame women. But that's why women need to see that enforced monogamy is what creates a livable society. Because the current sedation of young men won't go on forever. One way or another there will be someone that will be able to get those young guys moving - and here is the kicker, you don't need more than 5-10 thousand young men to topple any government.
But the army has Jets and tanks! A jet and a tank are useless if the enemy is in your home living in your society and you need them to work to keep things running. You need police for that and police won't risk their life all day. It's dangerous to keep young men out of society for too long.
1936 and mustaches all over again.
Lol the government is too powerful and had made plans for this decades in advance. The gov has highly advanced weapons that you don't even know about. The gov doesn't need workers it has robotics and AI so you're not needed anymore, the gov controls all resources of power including money supply. The chaos, and violence of these so called "sedated men" will just scare and repel women away. Men are not entitled to women. You must prove your worth.
There is no way 88% of young men have had sex in the last year LOL.
Or 10 years.
I think only 1% of the US population is having sec regularly.
Might be worth looking into the case of Eastern Europe where women have been outperforming men academically and have been treated equally at work since the 1960s, yet marriage rates were very high. Perhaps because there was a strong pressure to get married by the time you graduate from university and there was no time for mens’ careers to develop and be compared. Despite the higher commitment rates, this is not a world I would choose to live in - I saw in my childhood many women’s self esteem completely demolished because they didn’t marry “on time” (by 25) and many others settling for just anybody to avoid being mocked. There was even a “bachelor tax” for both sexes deducted from your paycheck if you weren’t married by 25. So no thanks. But an interesting data point to study on this topic.
That sort of stuff is to protect mens egos. Notice they have to shame the woman into being with a man? 😂😴
@@gailainsley6939 Actually it's not about 'mens ego' - It's what you want to see - something you are projecting, because you have unresolved issues within yourself.
@@babajaiy8246Nope it's the truth, its men's ego but stay in denial, this why we are in this mess.
@@diamondheart11 But we are not in a mess - That's why it's only your opinion.
@@diamondheart11 It's more about demographics and married men have less reason for crime. Men were shamed too, even more than women. They had to pay the tax too, even higher. Nobody cares about any sex's ego in communist state.
I say it from Poland where it happened, you see it from today's ideaological american perspective which isn't comparable at all.
Populations are in a decline. We're headed for the fall of civilization. Family is the foundation of humans. Women use to provide the care of the young and elderly. Now it's all monitized,daycare and nursing homes. This is the power of the state and has little to do with women being educated. It was the women that taught our kids in school and at home.They've always been educated. So it is the state,social engineering that has brought this on.Now the end ressult is childless women dying alone without children and grandchildren they spent their life serving instead of the coporate master and the state. Now left in the hands of the state the only question is when will the human race go extinct?
I like men. Im 60 though and single now though Ive been married. Heres something he didnt talk about. So many men still dont treat women well. Controlling, cheating, abusive are still so common. Almost ever woman ive known has left for one of these reasons. And no these men are not all handsome and succesful
Women are also controlling, cheating and abusive but it isn't something men tend to report. Infact, womens controling, cheating and abusive behavior is evident in lesbian relationships, they have an even higher rate of domestic violence and cheating than with hetrosexual couples!!! To make matters even stranger, studies proved that Gay men were almost two times less likely to be victims of domestic violence than lesbians!!!
Isn't that a puzzle; not handsome or successful but by definition have a female partner. Possibly several. I have noticed women frequently complain of their alchoholic partners and I have to conclude that women just love alchoholics. Most of us just don't have the courage for that glorious ride to ruin so we're weeded out, identified as boring
As a man, I agree with you...this conversation seems to completely miss the other side of the coin, men are porn and prostitute addicted, lacking self-control. And what is the source of this WIDESPREAD lack of self-control in men? It is WIDESPREAD conditions of porn and porn-adjacent entertainment, percolating down to teens and even younger, getting them addicted to paid unrealistic sexual acts. I don't blame women. I don't blame men. I blame the capitalist system. Mark my words, this problem will not be overcome, it won't even get better, in fact it will get worse, until the entire capitalist system is overthrown. The entire porn industry is based on vulnerable impoverished women, which capitalism produces on a daily basis, every single minute, around the world.
@@jonthomas9708 Since women have literally 100s or even 1,000s of sexual and romantic options, if they keep ending up with abusive alcoholics then it is 100% their fault. Women need to stop choosing alcoholics and aggressive looking men with tattoos, twitchy eyelids, and a chip on their shoulder who look like they're ready to snap at any given moment.
Damaged women attract damaged men.
This is the goal of the devil. To destroy humanity