Not wanting someone you love to leave is normal, but when you will do everything, even damage your own health, to stick around horrible people just because you don't want to be alone, then that's the real problem.
Maybe . . . but doing all you can to stop them, including hurting them, even if it's the best for the both of you to cut it there, it's not ok either. Emotional manipulation it's awful to deal with and it only brings more pain.
You are so right. I stayed around horrible and disrespectful people far too long. Until one day I woke up and said no more. I felt uncomfortable around them, yet I stayed. When I finally learned about my abandonment issues and healed from it thats when I had the courage to leave and enjoy spending time by myself. I learned I mattered more than the way I was being treated. So empowering.
When things were at their very worst: 2 Suns, Cross in the sky, 2 comets will collide = don`t be afraid - repent, accept Lord`s Hand of Mercy. The first sign - the Earth will spin faster. The second sign concerns the sun, which will loom larger, brighter and begin to spin. Scientists will say it was a global illusion. Beaware - Jesus will never walk in flesh again. After WW3 - rise of the “ man of peace“ from the East = Antichrist - the most powerful, popular, charismatic and influential leader of all time. Many miracles will be attributed to him. He will imitate Jesus in every conceivable way. Don`t trust „pope“ Francis = the False Prophet - will seem to rise from the dead - will unite all Christian Churches and all Religions as one. One World Religion = the seat of the Antichrist. Benedict XVI is the last true pope - will be accused of a crime of which he is totally innocent. - banking collapse was deliberately masterminded by the Antichrist - Antichrist will step in and create a false peace in the state of Israel by joining them with palestine in an unlikely alliance. - „He will recite extracts from My Teachings, which he will passionately proclaim from every secular stage in the world, until people sit up and take notice of him.“ The Book of Truth mdmlastprophet.com/arab-uprising-will-spark-global-unrest-italy-will-trigger-fall-out/ mdmlastprophet.com/the-world-is-about-to-undergo-the-next-stage-of-cleansing/
always wanting to please others (being a “people pleaser”) giving too much in relationships. an inability to trust others. pushing others away to avoid rejection. feeling insecure in romantic partnerships and friendships. codependency.
Baivabi Das Yep...you feel like a complete failure when you don’t do the right thing for someone and you start bullying yourself over it...well I do :/
Solving abandonment issues is one of the most difficult things anyone can do. I believe that one of the best ways to do this is to find a purpose for living. If you develop a life purpose then you will be more ok with being alone. When something happens to you, or if someone leaves you, if you have your purpose for life then you will be ok. Stay strong folks ❤️
Then what to do if you literally don't have the will to do anything in your life even if you found a propose you couldn't feel the excitement or motivation?
Crazy thing is, I've found my purpose but Ive abandoned it as I do all things I enjoy or that brings challenges. The one thing I could never abandon are my children, but now that my daughter is getting older, I feel like she is abandoning me. Its a vicious cycle.
I may have abandonment issues, I'm always scared that everyone one day will get sick of me and just leave me, including my parents. That is why i don't trust or rely on anyone, because of this exact reason.
As difficult as it might be trying to talk to at least one or two people might be a good idea, trust me I understand the pain I understand the fear but even reaching out to someone will do you a world of good, even if it doesn't feel like it to begin with.
I overcame my emptiness and fear of being alone, by going back to my childhood. I discovered my abandonment issues and realize it was no fault of my mine. Made peace with it by accepting that I am valuable and that I matter. Now enjoy spending time alone. My emptiness and loneliness has disappeared. I did the work by research and no therapy.
@@carlafoster1081 im fixing these issues now with no therapy and I feel like it's just as good. hopefully in the long run it pays off. I have my bad days but now I can enjoy the good days too without feeling too empty like I used to before.
The thing I found about abandonment, is that feeling of abandonment never really goes away no matter what happens in life whether it's good or bad . Always looking for someone or something to fill that void but always still feeling there's something missing
@@heatherwiltshire2621 I struggle a lot with codependency. That is how I was made to be when I was younger, I had to be this way. They had to control me. Now I am finding myself. I am so angry and see how much this has affected my life. It definitely was over when I was able to escape but for my mind it never ended and I am working on that. I have struggled with suicide more times than I can count but I’m still fighting and won’t give up
@@Dark_Abyss375 i feel u. good on u for working on it... i had an abusive upbringing & have bad depression...also working on it slowly but surely. sometimes i think i take two steps forward and ten back! but...despite thinkin often to give up i wont. stay fighting hun...dont give up, you are needed here until your natural time comes xx sendin love & light x
Read A new earth by Eckhart Tolle and The power of now same author and the four agreements those books helped heal me from the abandonment I experienced I hope it can help you as well you are loved and your feelings are validated!
@@heatherwiltshire2621 as cliche a it sounds it's absolutely true. Self care, self love, getting psychological help is the only way to truly heal. Be selfish. It's ok to be selfish, because being overly selfless leads to depression and poor relationships.. seeking validation and emotional support from your partner who is emotionally unavailable or abusive is just history repeating itself. We need to re-wire out brains with help from psychologist's imo
I can’t afford therapy but this is becoming such an issue for me. I hate being alone and I’ll do anything I can to stop people leaving even when they aren’t good for me.
I can't really either I'm trying better help they have a financial aid section one of your setting up an account and then they'll give you a discount. I can't really afford it either but I can't keep pushing people away and whenever I feel ignored I feel hurt, angry, sad and I want to have them feel what I feel to push them away
@@dropdead6969 You know what's helped me a lot lately. Actually for the last month or so, maybe a little bit more than that. I've been doing a keto well actually no sugar, no grains And it's actually held to my mental health a lot. My physical health and actually have more energy and I'm happy. I never realized how much food can really affect your or your moods so it's actually helped me a lot It's helped me focused a lot more on myself and even if someone's not talking to me or whatever I really just don't care cuz I feel better with by myself and focus on myself. Might be something to look into is putting your body in ketosis. It's a lot of studies out there that actually can help with mental health it's worth looking into. It's helped me as a friend of mine a lot. Actually it's been doing it about a week less than me and he even feels better
SAMEE@@MischievousMonarchs My ex bestfriend told me to do stuff and when I said no, she said "do it or I'll leave you" I'm much happier without her, but it has affected me badly. My friends can say 2 words and I am about to cry ;-;
Hello to all the people who are currently going through abandonment issues! I hope you'll get better, i know it's hard right now, and it hurts alot, but i believe you can do it! I wish you luck on your journey to healing, i know it will take awhile, but i know that it will be worth it, just hold on tight, we'll get through this together. :)❤
If you were or are abandoned just know that they were not supposed to be in your life.They couldn’t take care of you no matter the situation.Love yourself and get the help you need .
@@Wandering841 very informational and truthful response.Im just a guy trying to help virtual people’s days by giving one more good comment.It does speak a lot of a person by how and why they leave people.Maybe it’s for selfish reasons or for money everybody is different.
when i was 3 i remember crying every night when my parents left me with my grand parents for a whole year. i remember the feeling of unfamiliarity and extreme fear that they may not come back for me. growing up, i understood that they did that to make a living, but up until today, i still feel the same fear everytime someone leaves
@Yuziferry i feel you :( now i'm 23, but i still feel that being abandoned is the WORST thing that can happen to me, and now i have the tendency to beg people to stay when they want to leave.
i experienced a similar thing in my childhood as well. so much so that it has spread to how i react when my partner is away from me, even for short periods of time. unless im kept busy and interested in something else, it messes up my mental health. i feel anger, fear, sadness, resentment, and alone during times like this.
Fear of abandonment is a big one for me. My ex-boyfriend used to leave unexpectedly when he was upset, and that really bothered me. Thanks for your channel, it's helped inspire me for my animation channel as well!
2 sisters. I'm oldest. Male. My mom loved them very much, but dumped me off at gramps at 9. They tried sending me back. No go. Stayed with them till 16 and left by myself. Im 50 and none of them barely speak to me. They're all well to do. Im starving.
As a kid, I've always had this fear that people close to me will leave me. Looking back, I couldn't understand why I had that fear. Seeing this video makes me understand that fear more.
1st best friend : lied to me and blackmailed me 2nd friend : relationship means more than a friendship 3rd best friend : they simply got bored of me and leaved me behind w their new best friend Me now : feels numb and empty deep inside, distancing and fears of commitment 🙂 (I talk w my sister about this a lot and it helps me and im trying to get over that feeling but its not so easy tho .Distancing became more like reflexive thing i do)
The 1st best friend is a dick who must get away from you. The 2nd is theoretically right but should pressure you and the 3rd is just a pityfull asshole. It is so annoying when someone dumps you for someone else.
@@Veriox22 Yeah i definitely agree with you it really can be annoying but one day they'll probably understand the feeling when same thing happens to them. (About 1st best friend we ended it all almost 2 years ago and im glad tbh + now she has new best friend and talks shit about her so i bet those two are enjoying themselves)
yea ive had many friends in the past leave me behind for their new bestfriends and it really sucks :( my now bestfriend has been awesome but she already has a group of friends and recently ive been feeling insecure cus I feel she might be getting bored:(
I feel you. I've had this going on since kindergarden and my best friends always left me for someone else who was probably "better" than me. Even the last one that I have been friends with for the longest time but once they got into a relationship, their old life didn't exist anymore as a direct quote. When even the person you trust the most hurts you like that, you just are convinced that something's wrong with you at some point. I keep people far away from me now and it hurts really bad.
As a foster child that experienced neglect and abuse, it is almost comforting to get confirmation that I have abandonment issue. Everything that was said was true. This channel means so much to me. I am currently unable to afford a therapist but I realize a lot about myself with your videos that help me better my relationships with friends family and myself. Thank you so much. P.S. does anyone else get sad when they see the little leaf character bruised and beat up 😅?
Hey i don't know if you still can't afford therapy or not?But if u can't maybe looking for a workbook would help?Maybe u could try looking for a codependency one.
@@briarrose4747 Hey thanks for your comment! I actually recently got diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder so it makes sense! I found out I did have insurance through the state still so I’m going to therapy!
@@briarrose4747 Let me know how it goes! Definitely try to see a professional to diagnose you too because BPD is not self diagnosed and it will make it so much easier on your life to get professional help that specifies in treating BPD
Yeah mostly because the system that is in place for foster care is unreliable at best(at least in the UK) as often that can lead to being ignored by the care givers or being bounced around from home to home, I honestly wish there was awareness in our society about the care system and how it works it might actually incite a change if they see how bad it can and is.
@@savageYP English society is full of backwards people. I wish this country was what they truly state the are:the empire of people. Who people? Those people who they openly neglect and lead them to suicide? The people who they made depressed?
My parents were always suddenly cold or warm and pretty narcissistic. Treatment given was based on my grades where they neglect and go cold towards me when i had bad grades, and showing off to their peers when i had good grades. I got cheated on 4 times in my first relationship which was toxic. Everytime when i think of relationships, i get so anxious and want to withdraw and hide. I'm so scared that people will abandon me over small issues like not pleasing them... I know it's wrong but I'm always anxious and stressed out over it. So much that i can't show my true self
You perfectly explained every jumbled word that comes to my mind when I try to explain this. If I wasn’t perfect I wasn’t loved. All my life from a young age. I feel like no one will love me or want me if I mess up. If I mess up I get so scared and nervous that those around me will stop loving me and then miss me then come back. I was used to make my parents feel better about themselves and blamed for all of their problems
About a month ago, my girlfriend started being insecure and emotionally distant... Now, about a month later, she confirmed that she's afraid of being hurt if someone leaves her, and she got emotionally distant from me because she's afraid I'll leave her too... I wish I could help her, and to change things...
😭💔 I hate that this is my main issue... I hate the loneliness, the emptiness, the depression, the fear, the anger, the mistrust, the too much trust, the wrong people, the everything...
Thank you for mentioning some of the more avoidant and neglected side of abandonment issues. I didn’t know I had abandonment issues for so long because I didn’t possess the traits such as getting easily attached or being codependent on others. And didn’t know that a fear of relationships and intimacy can also be a sign of abandonment issues as well. I‘ve actually been hurt by people who relied on me for there own happiness, and completely lost myself because I was desperate to be a “good friend”. Good friends get both of their needs met, not just one person completely sacrificing themselves for the other
Left home alone many times five days a week since the age of four, sibling abuse, and other abuse, bullying from classmates and some teachers, sent to counseling and repeatedly told all of it was MY fault (nice counselors) so I have no trust in them either, so I'm all on my own trying to deal with all this,
I'm 19 and I got strong abandonment issues. Since my brother was born when I was 8, my dad was never there for me. It's like I wasn't his child anymore or that I was a failure. He was never violent or disrespectful in any way to my brother, but has always been to me. Every time I come in contact with him I feel like a slave because I'm not allowed to do common things everyone would do without angering him in his presence. I think that's the reason why I will probably never be able to make friends in my life.
Oops - I truly understand as this exactly my case , just that my brother was born when I was 7 and I'm currently 17 , so I've been going through this since 10 years now and their hatred towards me keeps increasing ... Currently , they're threatening me to send me to an assylum , just bcoz I recently started asking them to love me too ...
Well, my story is kinda like that but quite different. My mom got depression when i was 10 years old, I've seen my parents fight and cry. My elder brother got ocd and depression when i was 12. At a very young age I realized that I'm supposed to solve my problems my self and not to ask for help, I've seen my parents talk about my brother's childhood and how good child he was, now I'm 15 and now i realize that i never actually connected with my parents, its almost like i saw a very close family. I was only spectator, i was never a part of them. The only thing that i know is I'm not good enough. I'm sorry to my parents.
If you are reading this I just want to let u know that you are beautiful inside and out and much more loved then u realize! Just know that you have sm to offer, and always reach for the stars!! Don’t let depression or anxiety hold u back, accomplish ur goals! If u fail just get back up again! Stay safe and have a happy Valentine’s Day!❤️❤️☺️ :D
trying to work through my abandonment and isolation issues for my own sake, I’ve developed a habit of disappearing/ghosting whenever I feel I’ve been mistreated and have developed some pretty bleak beliefs about humanity and human relationships as a result of traumas I’ve experienced 💆🏿♀️
I had 2 emotionally unavailable parents, got married at 19, when i was 21 i came home from work and he had packed everything we owned, even my clothes and childhood possessions and left the state without me, in military housing, which i obviously could not stay in since he secretly got discharged. I was homeless a few days but found a room for rent, got divorced, remarried a totally emotionally unavailable neglectful soldier, had 3 kids, traveled the USA, then he met someone else and left us, i struggle with abandonment issues, afraid of relationships. Been divorced 20 years now. I feel happy, but avoid getting too close to men. Said I'd never marry again 20 years ago.
I remember watching a movie that had abandonment in it, It triggered me so much bc i thought that was also how my family would leave me too. I cried so hard for one hour, my eyes started hurting. My sister then came to reassure me but I just couldn't brush it off
My fear of abandonment started at 4 years old. I am now 43 and I love myself enough for the first time that I won't allow someone to violate my boundaries and beg them to stay. This issue was agonizing.
"Everyone hates me and I hate myself" This is the one thing I cannot get rid of. It just stays in my head. No matter what medication I take or how much therapy I have, it always comes back. It is driving me crazy.
I am Secure attachment leaning anxious and it took a lot of work as core wounds and subconscious beliefs and triggers are hard to fix. Thanks for this video.
What is it called when you feel as though you're always going to be alone, like no matter what you've just accepted that no one will ever love your or stand by you forever, that the only person you have is yourself? Is that still abandonment issues?
This gave me a lot of peace. I recognize some unhealthy patterns in my past that stem from childhood experiences and I feel like I can better approach relationships in the future.
I have noticed these behaviors in myself when I look back on how I acted in my last relationship. Talking to my counselor about this topic was the best thing I ever did for myself and I am still learning how to deal with some of these triggers. Thank you for this video.
I was just telling my best friend I miss her sorely, then realized that it would just make her feel worse for ignoring me. I said to myself that I love her, and if this is the woman I want beside me for the rest of my life, my old habits won't cut it. So I wished her a goodnight and stopped fearing everything because I have full faith she will return again tomorrow. For me, it was being stronger for her that allowed me to overcome this insecurity. I love you, "11".
Ehh... Imposter syndrome maybe? Im suffering from something similar. My mind is so self critical at all times, I always question my perception of reality. I even question myself questioning myself. It's a loop. I have no idea how but there should be some source of confidence and freedom to step away from it. Nothing makes it go away better for me than being told you're doing what you're supposed to do from someone you can trust.
Mine definitely isn’t that serious. For me it was feeling close to two of my favorite teachers/coaches, but then telling myself I was just one of 1,000s of students and that they didn’t care about me at all. (They put an end to the loop quickly). It seemed to have come about after two of my closest friends decided I was no longer useful to them.
6 decades. The situations just kept coming. Fortunately I have a strong connection with nature and a passion for art, music and carpentry. 3 great daughter's and 6 beautiful grandchildren. I live on a hill overlooking a northwoods lake and I feed the deer 10 feet from my house. Enough about me. You must build your world... peace
Mine came from my parent’s divorce and my mother’s mental health issues frequently leaving her emotionally and often physically unavailable. Thank you for explaining what I suspected, but never knew what to do. All of my relationships have been codependent my entire life. Now I know there’s help. It’s like spotting a ray of sunshine in the middle of a storm. You gave me hope. Thank you.
This is really helpful since I have abandonment issues. My father abandoned me when I was 3, and that effected my mental health majorly. And last year, a close friend abandoned me and made it even worse
This is what I was diagnosed with along with ptsd and clinical depression. Every one I've ever loved or trusted has hurt and left me. Suffered alot of loss my whole life. Now I believe that I will always be left. I will never find true happiness and no matter what I do to change im just not enough
Same here. I pray your time for stability will come soon. You deserve to have joy and a loving partner. Don't lose faith. I will be including you in my prayers. I'm also afraid but I remind myself to have faith.
Yep definitely me. My father was an addict and would come and go in my life all the time. In December he died. And now it’s like my need for closeness and security is at it’s all time high.
My parents and siblings have ignored and neglected me since I was very young. Now I am a recluse introvert. I feel like I don't belong anywhere and can't seem to make any meaningful connection with anyone. I used to care but I've grown to accept it.
My father died when I was 6, I was abandoned by my mother after one year, she got secondly married. Been sexually abused by my uncle...After all these things my family still can't figure out why I'm not functioning as a normal human being at the age of 20. I notice some narcissistic behaviours in me, always wanting other people to prove their loyalty and i'm being competitive with anyone. i'm extremely jealous over my friends and romantic interests, because of that I feel like a terrible person so I try to distance myself from everyone. Whenever I speak up for myself I feel guilty.Only If I had someone to push me to become better...we were dealing with poverty and other family problems for years and nobody had time for my mental health issues. Idk if I ever find peace but my head is messy, I just want to be happy one day.
I will never understand how is possible that psyc2go releases the exact videos exactly when I need, going through a heartbreak atm and these videos are helping, thank you
I often feel like that's destiny for me. I want to get counseling for my marriage, but I think that it'll ultimately result in her divorcing me entirely instead of working on things and making them better. Maybe that's ultimately the less painful option vs dragging it out over years.
@@jakeofalltradesmusic you never know until you try! If she isn't willing to work on the relationship then it's not worth it. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll be just fine. :)
@@jakeofalltradesmusic all I can tell you is make the first move, one way or another. It depends on what is causing the disconnection, if it's something about you or your lifestyle, chances are it's already over. If it's about money or some other material, that can be worked out but both parties need to be willing. If it's sex, cheating or trust issues, it's over. In the end, you may find you're putting all the effort into "your" marriage. People these days aren't very keen on personal sacrifice.
@@jakeofalltradesmusic check with a lawyer in Puerto Rico I heard you could be dv within a week with 3 days to establish residency and a good lawyer. Also the first notice your ex will get is the decree in the mail, in spanish good in all 50 States and territories. It's worth a little research I wish I had do overs it sure would mean I would be riding in a new truck instead of making her car payments paying alimony each month. If I only could have had my way. Peace and Best Wishes
The one thing I fear the most in life is me getting reassurance from these people that they’re not going to abandon me many times but still thinking they are. And I’m scared my friends will leave me if I keep acting this way around them. I feel so much anxiety. Nd it makes me sick to my stomach. I just want to feel good nd secure in my self. I’m tired of doing this. I’m scared I’m going to scare everyone away with this issue that I have. I need help but I don’t have money for therapy and it stresses me out
My father had NPD and my sister was the golden child. I was both abused (emotionally/physically) and neglected by him. I also didn’t really grow up in an over nurturing household. If I complained or was injured I was told “other people had it worse” and when my father paid attention to me he’d always switch of angry to kind immediately after he made me cry. I remember it well he’d always tell me he was going to send me away or put me in a foster home. So I got the childhood trauma. I also experienced friends leaving me in my teens where I was expediting worse abuse and bullying. So no wonder I’m screwed up
This video was really informative. I had to endure a lot of physical and verbal violence from my caregivers until I ran away from home at 15. I do find myself having the symptoms of expressing a insecure attachment style. I've learned how to love myself more and more over the years but to have haunting nightmares and intrusive thoughts regularly. Psychotherapy has been a lifesaver for me in orientating how a stable life should be.
This is so me! Sometimes I am afraid to watch your videos because there are many topics you guys touch in which I can find myself. In the end the videos are helpful each time. So I know my feelings and "issues" are valid. When I was a teen there was so much more stigma on mental health problems and in my early 20s I found the strength to start therapy on my own. The awareness on mental health being raised through social media is a good thing. You're helping a lot of people through your videos either suffering from mental health problems or disorders and those who know people with these problems to understand them better.
I'm sick of this I feel jealous over almost anything I feel bad when someone prefers to talk to another person when I'm there or when my dog prefers my mom over me I don't wanna feel like this, but it won't stop hurting
@@kmc1994 I know that but what I'm trying to say that some off us really NEED a therapist. I know seeing one and finding one is hard, hell I live an area where psychologists and mental health discussions are not even a thing. I probably should've clarified what I meant. Seeing a therapists is at least a step. I'm not saying not going to the therapists means you are not doing anything to help yourself or self help is not effective. In fact they are actually helpful during self-restoration of identity. I'm just saying that often times that our heads are our biggest deceivers, lying to others and ourselves and we may take things out of hand or end up hurting ourselves further. I've seen it happened to some of the people who are close to me. There's just some of us who really aren't sure what to do. It would be helpful to get an outside opinion to help seek other options towards recovery. I myself am currently seeing a guidance counselor to help me with my problems and it actually helped me. I was nervous at first but after the first session I realize there so many options to help me manage my life. Struggling with a mental illness or a very serious problem in general is tough. I know that, but I also know wallowing in self pity won't get you anywhere. I hope this clarified my stance in all this. Again, you may have a different opinion and disagree with me but that's okay we all have different ways of coping and healing.
Lol. Yeh did that and the therapist moved town after 3 sessions. That did wonders for my issues. And the next three wasn’t that great either. More success in reading psych books (cheaper too) and doing some intense introspecting. But you gotta be diligent and disciplined.
Got a birthday card from my father once... "Happy Birthday Gnarth, I hope you're enjoying Europe. I'm dying of cancer, and your mother's thrown me out of the house. Wish you were here... ~Dad" We'd just floated into the "Tax free zone" (Combat pay)... Good times... ;o)
In the comments i feel like i can relate to a lot of people and i so don't want us all to go through this but seeing yours words i also feel like I'm not alone in this journey.. And to know it's normal and it happens... Fear of abandonment caused me so much trouble and i don't seem to know the root cause yet but i know that i don't want to feel this way anymore.
Technically this didn't happen in my childhood, but when I was 18 my mom passed away, and that definitely led to feelings of serious abandonment. Two months after that I left to live in Mexico for two years (I knew I was going there since June, so it wasn't a sudden thing) and being with the people there helped with that a lot. When I came back to the US I tried to fill in that hole my mom left with a girlfriend, but every time it didn't work out that only made my feelings of abandonment worse. So now I'm just going the lone wolf route and figuring out who I am and what I want before letting someone else into my life and not being as afraid of abandonment, although I doubt I'll be able to completely shed it.
Anxious attachment and abandonment issues. when someone pulling back, instantly I'm scared they will leave me, in fact they are just busy, but what's in my mind is how if I did wrong, what they're thinking about me am I bad? How If they choose to leave? Are they going to leaving me? 😭😭😭😭
Oh my gosh, this is so true! Connecting with my inner child and soothing her, really helps me with my anxiety and fears. This little girl needs someone to tell her she is safe and loved.Doc Snipes has a great UA-cam video of Healing your inner child. It is really worth giving it a try. Thinking of all of you who are struggling with these issues❤
I have an insecure attachment style (parental divorce yay!) and was recently suddenly transferred to a new department at work. I know logically this is a way to prevent layoffs but OMG this is hitting me SO HARD. It’s wild that something that my parents’ divorce 45 years ago is still affecting me.
I think having a strong support system would also help, have certain friends and family members that help you and have a couple of different people so you’re not too dependent on one.
Pretty much confirms what I worked out myself. Neglectful/abusive parent, divorced. And Now every tiny smidge of distance in my close friendships makes me immediately think I'm being replaced/hated. Need to go back to therapy.
this can also collide with commitment and trust issues. then there's the question - why overcome it, if it protects you? well, I guess, to stop feeling so damn lonely all the time. even if you get used to the emptiness, with time it gets worse and still hurts.
I’ve definitely noticed how I perceive that others don’t care about me, bc my own beliefs then I accuse them or treat them like they take me for granted. When really they’ve been there and tried to even help me, but I rejected it and didn’t realize it. And I’m overwhelmed by myself often and have been told by others that I am too much so I notice withdrawing from attempting to go try to make meaningful friendships bc I’m afraid I’ll self sabotage or that I’ll over share and overwhelm them. Or talk too much. It’s liberating when you start realizing ppl do care about you, that you are equal to them and have healthy self worth and then can start practicing communication, and learning how to have standards and boundaries and enforce them.
I already suffer from severe abandonment fear, and to make it better my mom now told me that she never wants to hear from me again and that I should never come back home again. although I never had a good relationship with her its just crushed me mentally so much I've been crying non stop for a week and I can't seem to find any more motivation anymore. on top of that tomorrow is gonna be the 4th year of my dad being dead (who was my favorite person on this planet) I just really hope life gets better once I move in with my boyfriend
i’ve found myself watching these videos as basically a coping mechanism to try and convince myself i’m not alone in this my mom was always the type of parent that would flip depending on what i did, if i failed to do something simple like having good grades she would yell at me and tell me if i didn’t do good i would be stuck in the class i was in forever and that i was going to fail everyone. another thing is whenever i would tell her i felt this way she would say i was being irrational and it’ll disappear with time but then also tell me that if i ever feel upset that i should tell her. I think this is considered abusive but i’ve been so scared to tell someone in case they thought i was being irrational and then get upset with me for not telling the truth or being too scared all the time and then leaving me i’ve also found the people who i like to call my friends aren’t the best, they often joke about other people in the groups issues including mine sometimes and i feel uncomfortable about that but i’m way too scared of someone being upset with me for ruining their joke that i don’t say anything, also one of them bullies me on a daily basis saying stuff like “you should kill yourself” knowing i have depression and have thought about it, they then tell me they weren’t joking and make it seem like it’s all my fault for being clingy or annoying or telling me they hate me for something small even just getting an answer right when they had the right answer as well but i got called on but then i’m too scared that if i leave the relationship i’ll have no one else and be lonely. i can’t fall out of these fears i still think this is all most likely just an irrational fear and people will get mad at me for making this comment but i just had to get this off my chest even if it’s to a bunch of strangers and i’m sorry but i don’t trust anyone enough to say all this to without the fear they’ll change their perspective of me and leave. i said a lot i’m sorry
I hit so many of these it's kinda scary I always fear that I'm emotionally stunted because I have a hard time letting someone close to my heart and I'm always afraid that I'll end up alone and miserable or losing all my sanity but It's not like there is anyone in my life that seems like they would help me get over these issues cuz I'm surrounded by a lot of toxicity and loneliness
This video made me understand many things. But I think the worst situation is when you already have a sister with depression who does therapy...your mom who’s sick because she’s worried about her (obviously) even though your dad doesn’t care... and you finding yourself alone and forcing yourself to be strong for them. You suffer. In silence, with a fake smile on your lips...but you suffer. Be strong guys♡
Struggling with missing a guy I dated for about 2 weeks. For the life of me I knew that this struggle didn't make sense but I am grateful to realise that it is just the symptom of a gaping abandonment wound. Hurts like hell, but this is a transformative phase that I would be foolish to not be grateful for.
Watching this video, I'm certain I have abandonment issues. I was neglected as a baby and malnourished. I know that if it wasn't for my grandmother taking me in, that I wouldn't be here to this day. She passed away a couple years ago and it was earth shattering. I feel like even though I'm not In a relationship, I'm finally working on widening my social circle and doing what I can to make my life the best.
I’m trying writing down each way I abandon myself in relationships and watching it from now on. I know it sounds too practical for such deep wounds but it’s helped in the past. I’ll let you know how it goes!
You can include extreme bullying from the entire class (excluded because you're bullied, so no one befriends you), switching classes/schools because of it... And if you ever made a friend... omg...
Your voice is very soothing. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I keep finding myself coming to this channel just to listen to your voice. Doesn't really matter to me what the video is about just that you are the one speaking softly in my ear. So uh ... Thanks for putting your voice out there.
Love is just a word. It doesn't exist for me. It's just something I reflexively say at the end of a call to family. I live in the present because there's nothing much in my past I want to think about, and nothing in the future to look forward to besides death and probably a harsh sentence in the afterlife from whatever God/Gods there are who didn't like I didn't live my life by their values. I'm happier just being alone where I don't have to deal with all this crap and I can feel in control.
Do you fear abandonment?
Yes
Sometimes...
I just became a member :D
I don’t think it looks like it though
Of course 😫
yes
yeah a lot-
Not wanting someone you love to leave is normal, but when you will do everything, even damage your own health, to stick around horrible people just because you don't want to be alone, then that's the real problem.
Maybe . . . but doing all you can to stop them, including hurting them, even if it's the best for the both of you to cut it there, it's not ok either. Emotional manipulation it's awful to deal with and it only brings more pain.
You are so right. I stayed around horrible and disrespectful people far too long. Until one day I woke up and said no more. I felt uncomfortable around them, yet I stayed. When I finally learned about my abandonment issues and healed from it thats when I had the courage to leave and enjoy spending time by myself. I learned I mattered more than the way I was being treated. So empowering.
@@carlafoster1081 Ha . . . I envy your courage.
ua-cam.com/video/aSJmkLCPXU4/v-deo.html❤❤❤❤⚘⚘⚘⚘
When things were at their very worst:
2 Suns, Cross in the sky, 2 comets will collide = don`t be afraid - repent, accept Lord`s Hand of Mercy.
The first sign - the Earth will spin faster.
The second sign concerns the sun, which will loom larger, brighter and begin to spin.
Scientists will say it was a global illusion.
Beaware - Jesus will never walk in flesh again.
After WW3 - rise of the “ man of peace“ from the East = Antichrist - the most powerful, popular, charismatic and influential leader of all time. Many miracles will be attributed to him. He will imitate Jesus in every conceivable way.
Don`t trust „pope“ Francis = the False Prophet
- will seem to rise from the dead
- will unite all Christian Churches and all Religions as one.
One World Religion = the seat of the Antichrist.
Benedict XVI is the last true pope - will be accused of a crime of which he is totally innocent.
- banking collapse was deliberately masterminded by the Antichrist
- Antichrist will step in and create a false peace in the state of Israel by joining them with palestine in an unlikely alliance.
- „He will recite extracts from My Teachings, which he will passionately proclaim from every secular stage in the world, until people sit up and take notice of him.“
The Book of Truth
mdmlastprophet.com/arab-uprising-will-spark-global-unrest-italy-will-trigger-fall-out/
mdmlastprophet.com/the-world-is-about-to-undergo-the-next-stage-of-cleansing/
always wanting to please others (being a “people pleaser”)
giving too much in relationships.
an inability to trust others.
pushing others away to avoid rejection.
feeling insecure in romantic partnerships and friendships.
codependency.
You called me out.... I’m sad I’m like this :(
@@yoonshoo same 🤧
I want to stop being a people pleaser
But I can't 🤧
Baivabi Das
Yep...you feel like a complete failure when you don’t do the right thing for someone and you start bullying yourself over it...well I do :/
Why are all of these me
Solving abandonment issues is one of the most difficult things anyone can do. I believe that one of the best ways to do this is to find a purpose for living. If you develop a life purpose then you will be more ok with being alone. When something happens to you, or if someone leaves you, if you have your purpose for life then you will be ok. Stay strong folks ❤️
Finding your purpose definitely gives you a compass. Thanks for sharing that :)
Love it Purpose is what save me 🙏
Then what to do if you literally don't have the will to do anything in your life even if you found a propose you couldn't feel the excitement or motivation?
Crazy thing is, I've found my purpose but Ive abandoned it as I do all things I enjoy or that brings challenges. The one thing I could never abandon are my children, but now that my daughter is getting older, I feel like she is abandoning me. Its a vicious cycle.
@@shawnbailey2300 stay strong....💜
I may have abandonment issues, I'm always scared that everyone one day will get sick of me and just leave me, including my parents. That is why i don't trust or rely on anyone, because of this exact reason.
As difficult as it might be trying to talk to at least one or two people might be a good idea, trust me I understand the pain I understand the fear but even reaching out to someone will do you a world of good, even if it doesn't feel like it to begin with.
@@savageYP thank you for the suggestion, I'll try my best to reach out to someone💜
Same...
@The tax people i hope you can find someone to talk about it( if not ur parents) other wise im here for you❤️
Literally me
The one thing I fear most in life is loneliness and emptiness. Its like going through life, except you're already dead.
I overcame my emptiness and fear of being alone, by going back to my childhood. I discovered my abandonment issues and realize it was no fault of my mine. Made peace with it by accepting that I am valuable and that I matter. Now enjoy spending time alone. My emptiness and loneliness has disappeared. I did the work by research and no therapy.
🥺
@@carlafoster1081 im fixing these issues now with no therapy and I feel like it's just as good. hopefully in the long run it pays off. I have my bad days but now I can enjoy the good days too without feeling too empty like I used to before.
@@quinnalame you're strong, to conquer that on your own.
@@wisdomsparkproductions7916 thanks for this
The thing I found about abandonment, is that feeling of abandonment never really goes away no matter what happens in life whether it's good or bad . Always looking for someone or something to fill that void but always still feeling there's something missing
Yes so true.
@@heatherwiltshire2621 I struggle a lot with codependency. That is how I was made to be when I was younger, I had to be this way. They had to control me. Now I am finding myself. I am so angry and see how much this has affected my life. It definitely was over when I was able to escape but for my mind it never ended and I am working on that. I have struggled with suicide more times than I can count but I’m still fighting and won’t give up
@@Dark_Abyss375 i feel u. good on u for working on it... i had an abusive upbringing & have bad depression...also working on it slowly but surely. sometimes i think i take two steps forward and ten back! but...despite thinkin often to give up i wont. stay fighting hun...dont give up, you are needed here until your natural time comes xx sendin love & light x
Read A new earth by Eckhart Tolle and The power of now same author and the four agreements those books helped heal me from the abandonment I experienced I hope it can help you as well you are loved and your feelings are validated!
@@heatherwiltshire2621 as cliche a it sounds it's absolutely true. Self care, self love, getting psychological help is the only way to truly heal. Be selfish. It's ok to be selfish, because being overly selfless leads to depression and poor relationships.. seeking validation and emotional support from your partner who is emotionally unavailable or abusive is just history repeating itself.
We need to re-wire out brains with help from psychologist's imo
I can’t afford therapy but this is becoming such an issue for me. I hate being alone and I’ll do anything I can to stop people leaving even when they aren’t good for me.
I can't really either I'm trying better help they have a financial aid section one of your setting up an account and then they'll give you a discount. I can't really afford it either but I can't keep pushing people away and whenever I feel ignored I feel hurt, angry, sad and I want to have them feel what I feel to push them away
@@Brianpeckin this is exactly what I do....
@@dropdead6969 You know what's helped me a lot lately. Actually for the last month or so, maybe a little bit more than that. I've been doing a keto well actually no sugar, no grains And it's actually held to my mental health a lot. My physical health and actually have more energy and I'm happy. I never realized how much food can really affect your or your moods so it's actually helped me a lot It's helped me focused a lot more on myself and even if someone's not talking to me or whatever I really just don't care cuz I feel better with by myself and focus on myself. Might be something to look into is putting your body in ketosis. It's a lot of studies out there that actually can help with mental health it's worth looking into. It's helped me as a friend of mine a lot. Actually it's been doing it about a week less than me and he even feels better
There are mental health clinics that won't turn you away or will work with you based on your income.
That “Is there something wrong with me”? really resonates with me...
Fear of Abandonment isn't always caused by a parent or a family member sometimes it's caused by "friends" in people outside your family😕
Totally agree
my mom became ill when we were younger...she didn't leave on her own accord it was just life happening which I later came to understand...
That was commented on in the video.
That’s where mine come from, I have very loving parents, but others, on the other hand, not so much lol
SAMEE@@MischievousMonarchs
My ex bestfriend told me to do stuff and when I said no, she said "do it or I'll leave you"
I'm much happier without her, but it has affected me badly. My friends can say 2 words and I am about to cry ;-;
Hello to all the people who are currently going through abandonment issues! I hope you'll get better, i know it's hard right now, and it hurts alot, but i believe you can do it! I wish you luck on your journey to healing, i know it will take awhile, but i know that it will be worth it, just hold on tight, we'll get through this together. :)❤
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Thank you
thanks, I'm 29 years old when will it get better? been having this issue since 15
@@danielan962 prayer works
@@heaven_bonessometimes..
To all Borderline and/or Avoidant people like me, you're so beautiful and I wish you get better. ❤
Thanks for the kind words Haise! :)
💔😔
😞
If you were or are abandoned just know that they were not supposed to be in your life.They couldn’t take care of you no matter the situation.Love yourself and get the help you need .
Lol couldn't take care of me didn't give a fk more like
WELL SAID 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 KING HIDORAH
FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD...JOHN 3:16 GOD LOVES US EVEN WHEN SOME PEOPLE DON'T
@@Wandering841 very informational and truthful response.Im just a guy trying to help virtual people’s days by giving one more good comment.It does speak a lot of a person by how and why they leave people.Maybe it’s for selfish reasons or for money everybody is different.
THANK YOU....They were the slugs not us..xoxox
when i was 3 i remember crying every night when my parents left me with my grand parents for a whole year. i remember the feeling of unfamiliarity and extreme fear that they may not come back for me. growing up, i understood that they did that to make a living, but up until today, i still feel the same fear everytime someone leaves
💜💜💜
@Yuziferry i feel you :( now i'm 23, but i still feel that being abandoned is the WORST thing that can happen to me, and now i have the tendency to beg people to stay when they want to leave.
So some of yoongi stan really have mental health issue? Haha I butter you
@@charie.1009 omg hahaha i 💛 u
i experienced a similar thing in my childhood as well. so much so that it has spread to how i react when my partner is away from me, even for short periods of time. unless im kept busy and interested in something else, it messes up my mental health. i feel anger, fear, sadness, resentment, and alone during times like this.
Fear of abandonment is a big one for me. My ex-boyfriend used to leave unexpectedly when he was upset, and that really bothered me. Thanks for your channel, it's helped inspire me for my animation channel as well!
Thanks for sharing! How do you plan to overcome this fear? :) You got this!!
I think these issues can be worse if you have a sibling and both have issues and closely look at the balance of attention given
jesus do you have a security cam in my apartment????
Well I have 3 🥴
Omg meeeee to the T
2 sisters. I'm oldest. Male. My mom loved them very much, but dumped me off at gramps at 9. They tried sending me back. No go. Stayed with them till 16 and left by myself. Im 50 and none of them barely speak to me. They're all well to do. Im starving.
@Queeny Bunny it is indeed real! Thank you ever so much, I’ve never had such a lovely comment as yours before🦋
As a kid, I've always had this fear that people close to me will leave me. Looking back, I couldn't understand why I had that fear. Seeing this video makes me understand that fear more.
Its ok only thing to fear is fear itself
how convenient, my mother is getting back together with my abusive step father and leaving me behind. this video outta make me feel better ☺️🍿
you're strong, dear ❤❤
I'm going through this too :/
Hope there are better futures for us
I have been through this on a different level. Stay strong and I’m glad this vid could make u feel better
@@emillyrodrigues7524 💪🏽💪🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
ayo just focus on urself and trying to be happy 💯 and ignore their negativity try to stay positive and stay away from home
1st best friend : lied to me and blackmailed me
2nd friend : relationship means more than a friendship
3rd best friend : they simply got bored of me and leaved me behind w their new best friend
Me now : feels numb and empty deep inside, distancing and fears of commitment 🙂
(I talk w my sister about this a lot and it helps me and im trying to get over that feeling but its not so easy tho .Distancing became more like reflexive thing i do)
The 1st best friend is a dick who must get away from you. The 2nd is theoretically right but should pressure you and the 3rd is just a pityfull asshole. It is so annoying when someone dumps you for someone else.
@@Veriox22 Yeah i definitely agree with you it really can be annoying but one day they'll probably understand the feeling when same thing happens to them.
(About 1st best friend we ended it all almost 2 years ago and im glad tbh + now she has new best friend and talks shit about her so i bet those two are enjoying themselves)
yea ive had many friends in the past leave me behind for their new bestfriends and it really sucks :( my now bestfriend has been awesome but she already has a group of friends and recently ive been feeling insecure cus I feel she might be getting bored:(
;-;
I feel you. I've had this going on since kindergarden and my best friends always left me for someone else who was probably "better" than me. Even the last one that I have been friends with for the longest time but once they got into a relationship, their old life didn't exist anymore as a direct quote. When even the person you trust the most hurts you like that, you just are convinced that something's wrong with you at some point. I keep people far away from me now and it hurts really bad.
As a foster child that experienced neglect and abuse, it is almost comforting to get confirmation that I have abandonment issue. Everything that was said was true. This channel means so much to me. I am currently unable to afford a therapist but I realize a lot about myself with your videos that help me better my relationships with friends family and myself. Thank you so much.
P.S. does anyone else get sad when they see the little leaf character bruised and beat up 😅?
Definitely leaf bro/sis need love
Hey i don't know if you still can't afford therapy or not?But if u can't maybe looking for a workbook would help?Maybe u could try looking for a codependency one.
@@briarrose4747 Hey thanks for your comment! I actually recently got diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder so it makes sense! I found out I did have insurance through the state still so I’m going to therapy!
@@loddia.2187 No problem!Im glad you got insurance now! :) I actually am gonna try to do this dbt workbook because i feel i have some bpd traits
@@briarrose4747 Let me know how it goes! Definitely try to see a professional to diagnose you too because BPD is not self diagnosed and it will make it so much easier on your life to get professional help that specifies in treating BPD
Foster care definitely can cause abandonment issues.
Yeah mostly because the system that is in place for foster care is unreliable at best(at least in the UK) as often that can lead to being ignored by the care givers or being bounced around from home to home, I honestly wish there was awareness in our society about the care system and how it works it might actually incite a change if they see how bad it can and is.
@@savageYP English society is full of backwards people. I wish this country was what they truly state the are:the empire of people. Who people? Those people who they openly neglect and lead them to suicide? The people who they made depressed?
Yes
My parents were always suddenly cold or warm and pretty narcissistic. Treatment given was based on my grades where they neglect and go cold towards me when i had bad grades, and showing off to their peers when i had good grades. I got cheated on 4 times in my first relationship which was toxic. Everytime when i think of relationships, i get so anxious and want to withdraw and hide. I'm so scared that people will abandon me over small issues like not pleasing them... I know it's wrong but I'm always anxious and stressed out over it. So much that i can't show my true self
Hi, love yourself, you are not to please anyone who is not worth it. Good luck to you
*Sending virtual hugs* be fine
Same here mark … 😢
You perfectly explained every jumbled word that comes to my mind when I try to explain this. If I wasn’t perfect I wasn’t loved. All my life from a young age. I feel like no one will love me or want me if I mess up. If I mess up I get so scared and nervous that those around me will stop loving me and then miss me then come back. I was used to make my parents feel better about themselves and blamed for all of their problems
Then they say you’re doing it all to seek attention
About a month ago, my girlfriend started being insecure and emotionally distant... Now, about a month later, she confirmed that she's afraid of being hurt if someone leaves her, and she got emotionally distant from me because she's afraid I'll leave her too... I wish I could help her, and to change things...
Show her that u. Will never leave her Show her that u love her Show her that u are afraid of loosing her
@@fatoshb7888 I think it's too late.
😭💔 I hate that this is my main issue... I hate the loneliness, the emptiness, the depression, the fear, the anger, the mistrust, the too much trust, the wrong people, the everything...
Thank you for mentioning some of the more avoidant and neglected side of abandonment issues. I didn’t know I had abandonment issues for so long because I didn’t possess the traits such as getting easily attached or being codependent on others. And didn’t know that a fear of relationships and intimacy can also be a sign of abandonment issues as well. I‘ve actually been hurt by people who relied on me for there own happiness, and completely lost myself because I was desperate to be a “good friend”. Good friends get both of their needs met, not just one person completely sacrificing themselves for the other
upload date: valentine’s day
video: abandonment issues
Noice
It's calls out the inevitable truth, everyone leaves for one reason or another.
Being dumped and ignored after 1 years (6months in long distance) so yes I feel abandonned
GULP
@꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄𒐪꧄ 𒐪 xd
edit, thanks for 7 likes
Happy Valentine’s day to EVERYONE this year!
Happy Valentine's Day 😄
Thank you!
It's the same as last year still alone
♥️
Happy valentine's day to those who have reason to celebrate
Even tho I was already diagnosed with abandonment fear and still meeting up with therapist, for whatever reason I started crying watching this video
Left home alone many times five days a week since the age of four, sibling abuse, and other abuse, bullying from classmates and some teachers, sent to counseling and repeatedly told all of it was MY fault (nice counselors) so I have no trust in them either, so I'm all on my own trying to deal with all this,
I hope these experiences won’t deter you from finding a professional who cares for you, I empathize with you.
Same
None of that was your fault. I hope that you can really believe that.
If you have no one , you can loose no one
I'm 19 and I got strong abandonment issues. Since my brother was born when I was 8, my dad was never there for me. It's like I wasn't his child anymore or that I was a failure. He was never violent or disrespectful in any way to my brother, but has always been to me. Every time I come in contact with him I feel like a slave because I'm not allowed to do common things everyone would do without angering him in his presence. I think that's the reason why I will probably never be able to make friends in my life.
Yikes! That's no way for a child to be treated, especially with younger siblings in the mix. Sending love and virtual hugs for V-Day ❤️🤗
Oops - I truly understand as this exactly my case , just that my brother was born when I was 7 and I'm currently 17 , so I've been going through this since 10 years now and their hatred towards me keeps increasing ... Currently , they're threatening me to send me to an assylum , just bcoz I recently started asking them to love me too ...
Well, my story is kinda like that but quite different. My mom got depression when i was 10 years old, I've seen my parents fight and cry. My elder brother got ocd and depression when i was 12. At a very young age I realized that I'm supposed to solve my problems my self and not to ask for help, I've seen my parents talk about my brother's childhood and how good child he was, now I'm 15 and now i realize that i never actually connected with my parents, its almost like i saw a very close family. I was only spectator, i was never a part of them. The only thing that i know is I'm not good enough. I'm sorry to my parents.
I rebuke that last statement you said in the name of Jesus who loves you more than you will ever know 💪💪🏿💪🏻😉🥰
I did but I learned that it is not my fault that people leave some will and some will stay
If you are reading this I just want to let u know that you are beautiful inside and out and much more loved then u realize! Just know that you have sm to offer, and always reach for the stars!! Don’t let depression or anxiety hold u back, accomplish ur goals! If u fail just get back up again! Stay safe and have a happy Valentine’s Day!❤️❤️☺️
:D
Needed this… thank you😢🤍
trying to work through my abandonment and isolation issues for my own sake, I’ve developed a habit of disappearing/ghosting whenever I feel I’ve been mistreated and have developed some pretty bleak beliefs about humanity and human relationships as a result of traumas I’ve experienced 💆🏿♀️
I had 2 emotionally unavailable parents, got married at 19, when i was 21 i came home from work and he had packed everything we owned, even my clothes and childhood possessions and left the state without me, in military housing, which i obviously could not stay in since he secretly got discharged. I was homeless a few days but found a room for rent, got divorced, remarried a totally emotionally unavailable neglectful soldier, had 3 kids, traveled the USA, then he met someone else and left us, i struggle with abandonment issues, afraid of relationships. Been divorced 20 years now. I feel happy, but avoid getting too close to men. Said I'd never marry again 20 years ago.
I remember watching a movie that had abandonment in it, It triggered me so much bc i thought that was also how my family would leave me too. I cried so hard for one hour, my eyes started hurting. My sister then came to reassure me but I just couldn't brush it off
My fear of abandonment started at 4 years old. I am now 43 and I love myself enough for the first time that I won't allow someone to violate my boundaries and beg them to stay. This issue was agonizing.
Yes, I had to address this fear once and for all last year. It amplified when a loved one died last year.
Yes abandonment issues, alcohol consumption at early teens, unwillingness to ask for help for fear of appearing weak or incapable of.
I really needed this. I am being replaced again. Yesterday was my Birthday. I do not like my gift.
hey happy belated birthday! im sorry i cant get you a gift too but im wishing you a happy life ahead!! have a good day ❤️
@@ratukhaliqah7915
Happy bday *u* hopefully time will make things get better for you!
@@debyuura3534 thank you ♡♡
"Everyone hates me and I hate myself" This is the one thing I cannot get rid of. It just stays in my head. No matter what medication I take or how much therapy I have, it always comes back. It is driving me crazy.
I am Secure attachment leaning anxious and it took a lot of work as core wounds and subconscious beliefs and triggers are hard to fix. Thanks for this video.
No problem :) We hope this video helped you
It's Valentines Day and this is posted....
Well it's always safe to be prepared
Lmaoooo
What is it called when you feel as though you're always going to be alone, like no matter what you've just accepted that no one will ever love your or stand by you forever, that the only person you have is yourself? Is that still abandonment issues?
Me when im drunk
Yep
Playing online MMORPG without single friend and not join any guild whatsoever
Yes
Self doubt
This gave me a lot of peace. I recognize some unhealthy patterns in my past that stem from childhood experiences and I feel like I can better approach relationships in the future.
I have noticed these behaviors in myself when I look back on how I acted in my last relationship. Talking to my counselor about this topic was the best thing I ever did for myself and I am still learning how to deal with some of these triggers. Thank you for this video.
Hey, can i pls get your instagram? Can you please help me and tell me wbat your counsler said on how to deal with it?
I was just telling my best friend I miss her sorely, then realized that it would just make her feel worse for ignoring me.
I said to myself that I love her, and if this is the woman I want beside me for the rest of my life, my old habits won't cut it.
So I wished her a goodnight and stopped fearing everything because I have full faith she will return again tomorrow.
For me, it was being stronger for her that allowed me to overcome this insecurity.
I love you, "11".
What do you call it when every time you manage to form a secure attachment, you decide you’re lying to yourself and being clingy?
Ehh... Imposter syndrome maybe? Im suffering from something similar.
My mind is so self critical at all times, I always question my perception of reality. I even question myself questioning myself. It's a loop.
I have no idea how but there should be some source of confidence and freedom to step away from it. Nothing makes it go away better for me than being told you're doing what you're supposed to do from someone you can trust.
Mine definitely isn’t that serious. For me it was feeling close to two of my favorite teachers/coaches, but then telling myself I was just one of 1,000s of students and that they didn’t care about me at all. (They put an end to the loop quickly). It seemed to have come about after two of my closest friends decided I was no longer useful to them.
Could be a form of self sabotage.
and plus childhood neglect and multiple rejections it's hard to feel yourself ever worthy of love, hard to sleep at night too
I still deal with the aftermath 8 years later.
How old are ya
You're not alone. I've been stuck out here for almost 3 decades.
I pray for our healing ❤🙏
I'll deal with the aftermath the rest of my life........
6 decades. The situations just kept coming. Fortunately I have a strong connection with nature and a passion for art, music and carpentry. 3 great daughter's and 6 beautiful grandchildren. I live on a hill overlooking a northwoods lake and I feed the deer 10 feet from my house. Enough about me. You must build your world... peace
Mine came from my parent’s divorce and my mother’s mental health issues frequently leaving her emotionally and often physically unavailable. Thank you for explaining what I suspected, but never knew what to do. All of my relationships have been codependent my entire life. Now I know there’s help. It’s like spotting a ray of sunshine in the middle of a storm. You gave me hope. Thank you.
heyy same for me! We are on a grate, powerful soul journey
This is really helpful since I have abandonment issues. My father abandoned me when I was 3, and that effected my mental health majorly. And last year, a close friend abandoned me and made it even worse
Hi❤ did you remember your Dad at that age?
I'm broken. Thanks mom/dad/step-mom.
This is what I was diagnosed with along with ptsd and clinical depression. Every one I've ever loved or trusted has hurt and left me. Suffered alot of loss my whole life. Now I believe that I will always be left. I will never find true happiness and no matter what I do to change im just not enough
Same here. I pray your time for stability will come soon. You deserve to have joy and a loving partner. Don't lose faith. I will be including you in my prayers. I'm also afraid but I remind myself to have faith.
Yep definitely me. My father was an addict and would come and go in my life all the time. In December he died. And now it’s like my need for closeness and security is at it’s all time high.
Me exactly, ive known ive had this fear for a while, but instead its caused by an abusive “best friend”when i was younger
My parents and siblings have ignored and neglected me since I was very young. Now I am a recluse introvert. I feel like I don't belong anywhere and can't seem to make any meaningful connection with anyone. I used to care but I've grown to accept it.
Omg this is soo me too. Now after some issues wth mom, they exclude me. No talking in the same house for 2 months now. All i do is cry...
My father died when I was 6, I was abandoned by my mother after one year, she got secondly married. Been sexually abused by my uncle...After all these things my family still can't figure out why I'm not functioning as a normal human being at the age of 20. I notice some narcissistic behaviours in me, always wanting other people to prove their loyalty and i'm being competitive with anyone. i'm extremely jealous over my friends and romantic interests, because of that I feel like a terrible person so I try to distance myself from everyone. Whenever I speak up for myself I feel guilty.Only If I had someone to push me to become better...we were dealing with poverty and other family problems for years and nobody had time for my mental health issues. Idk if I ever find peace but my head is messy, I just want to be happy one day.
❤️
You deserve all the happiness in the world ❤️ don't give up , am sure you'll get there 🤗
Being vulnerable is the new strong!
I will never understand how is possible that psyc2go releases the exact videos exactly when I need, going through a heartbreak atm and these videos are helping, thank you
If you're convinced a relationship is going to end, go to couple's counseling. It's the quickest way to guarantee the inevitable.
I often feel like that's destiny for me. I want to get counseling for my marriage, but I think that it'll ultimately result in her divorcing me entirely instead of working on things and making them better. Maybe that's ultimately the less painful option vs dragging it out over years.
@@jakeofalltradesmusic you never know until you try! If she isn't willing to work on the relationship then it's not worth it. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll be just fine. :)
@@Wandering841 strongly disagree with you, there. It's fairly common for couple's therapists to purposefully sabotage relationships. Thus the cliche
@@jakeofalltradesmusic all I can tell you is make the first move, one way or another. It depends on what is causing the disconnection, if it's something about you or your lifestyle, chances are it's already over. If it's about money or some other material, that can be worked out but both parties need to be willing. If it's sex, cheating or trust issues, it's over.
In the end, you may find you're putting all the effort into "your" marriage. People these days aren't very keen on personal sacrifice.
@@jakeofalltradesmusic check with a lawyer in Puerto Rico I heard you could be dv within a week with 3 days to establish residency and a good lawyer.
Also the first notice your ex will get is the decree in the mail, in spanish good in all 50 States and territories.
It's worth a little research I wish I had do overs it sure would mean I would be riding in a new truck instead of making her car payments paying alimony each month.
If I only could have had my way.
Peace and Best Wishes
The one thing I fear the most in life is me getting reassurance from these people that they’re not going to abandon me many times but still thinking they are. And I’m scared my friends will leave me if I keep acting this way around them. I feel so much anxiety. Nd it makes me sick to my stomach. I just want to feel good nd secure in my self. I’m tired of doing this. I’m scared I’m going to scare everyone away with this issue that I have. I need help but I don’t have money for therapy and it stresses me out
My father had NPD and my sister was the golden child. I was both abused (emotionally/physically) and neglected by him. I also didn’t really grow up in an over nurturing household.
If I complained or was injured I was told “other people had it worse”
and when my father paid attention to me he’d always switch of angry to kind immediately after he made me cry. I remember it well he’d always tell me he was going to send me away or put me in a foster home.
So I got the childhood trauma. I also experienced friends leaving me in my teens where I was expediting worse abuse and bullying.
So no wonder I’m screwed up
My brother was the golden child… it’s crazy how that works…. I can relate to you 100%
same :/
This video was really informative. I had to endure a lot of physical and verbal violence from my caregivers until I ran away from home at 15. I do find myself having the symptoms of expressing a insecure attachment style. I've learned how to love myself more and more over the years but to have haunting nightmares and intrusive thoughts regularly. Psychotherapy has been a lifesaver for me in orientating how a stable life should be.
Abandonment huh... I've been abandoned by all the friends I had. Or the other way around
This is so me! Sometimes I am afraid to watch your videos because there are many topics you guys touch in which I can find myself. In the end the videos are helpful each time. So I know my feelings and "issues" are valid. When I was a teen there was so much more stigma on mental health problems and in my early 20s I found the strength to start therapy on my own. The awareness on mental health being raised through social media is a good thing. You're helping a lot of people through your videos either suffering from mental health problems or disorders and those who know people with these problems to understand them better.
I'm sick of this
I feel jealous over almost anything
I feel bad when someone prefers to talk to another person when I'm there or when my dog prefers my mom over me
I don't wanna feel like this, but it won't stop hurting
Every video that comes out I'm excited for but then I'm like "I'm not ready to deal with those issues yet 😅"
I felt that
same here 🤦🏽♀️🤣
Thanks for being a member James! Feel free to message us topics you would like to request.
Long story short : go see a therapist
@Multifandom Junkie It's still a better option than just sitting around doing nothing.
@@upsidedownworld8184 it’s not “therapy or nothing”. Plenty of us are doing self-work without therapists... they’re not the be all end all.
@@kmc1994 I know that but what I'm trying to say that some off us really NEED a therapist. I know seeing one and finding one is hard, hell I live an area where psychologists and mental health discussions are not even a thing.
I probably should've clarified what I meant.
Seeing a therapists is at least a step.
I'm not saying not going to the therapists means you are not doing anything to help yourself or self help is not effective. In fact they are actually helpful during self-restoration of identity.
I'm just saying that often times that our heads are our biggest deceivers, lying to others and ourselves and we may take things out of hand or end up hurting ourselves further. I've seen it happened to some of the people who are close to me. There's just some of us who really aren't sure what to do.
It would be helpful to get an outside opinion to help seek other options towards recovery. I myself am currently seeing a guidance counselor to help me with my problems and it actually helped me. I was nervous at first but after the first session I realize there so many options to help me manage my life.
Struggling with a mental illness or a very serious problem in general is tough. I know that, but I also know wallowing in self pity won't get you anywhere.
I hope this clarified my stance in all this.
Again, you may have a different opinion and disagree with me but that's okay we all have different ways of coping and healing.
I was At therapist a month ago and I'm a lot better.
Lol. Yeh did that and the therapist moved town after 3 sessions. That did wonders for my issues. And the next three wasn’t that great either.
More success in reading psych books (cheaper too) and doing some intense introspecting. But you gotta be diligent and disciplined.
The fact that there’s so many videos that are reality with rlly bad mental health, and I relate to almost all of em just rlly says a lot.
Leaving would imply suitcases and empty drawers, and late birthday cards with ten-dollar bills stuffed inside. What a torture right?
Got a birthday card from my father once...
"Happy Birthday Gnarth, I hope you're enjoying Europe. I'm dying of cancer, and your mother's thrown me out of the house. Wish you were here...
~Dad"
We'd just floated into the "Tax free zone" (Combat pay)... Good times... ;o)
In the comments i feel like i can relate to a lot of people and i so don't want us all to go through this but seeing yours words i also feel like I'm not alone in this journey.. And to know it's normal and it happens... Fear of abandonment caused me so much trouble and i don't seem to know the root cause yet but i know that i don't want to feel this way anymore.
Technically this didn't happen in my childhood, but when I was 18 my mom passed away, and that definitely led to feelings of serious abandonment. Two months after that I left to live in Mexico for two years (I knew I was going there since June, so it wasn't a sudden thing) and being with the people there helped with that a lot.
When I came back to the US I tried to fill in that hole my mom left with a girlfriend, but every time it didn't work out that only made my feelings of abandonment worse. So now I'm just going the lone wolf route and figuring out who I am and what I want before letting someone else into my life and not being as afraid of abandonment, although I doubt I'll be able to completely shed it.
that’s scary how much i related to this…. thank you for this. i definitely want to reach out to my therapist now
Anxious attachment and abandonment issues. when someone pulling back, instantly I'm scared they will leave me, in fact they are just busy, but what's in my mind is how if I did wrong, what they're thinking about me am I bad? How If they choose to leave? Are they going to leaving me? 😭😭😭😭
I act the exact same way 😭😢😿🥺
@@KeiraH-j1j 😢🫂
@@Misyeli 😫🫠😱😰
Your voice is so soothing that it cured my abandonment issues
Oh my gosh, this is so true! Connecting with my inner child and soothing her, really helps me with my anxiety and fears. This little girl needs someone to tell her she is safe and loved.Doc Snipes has a great UA-cam video of Healing your inner child. It is really worth giving it a try. Thinking of all of you who are struggling with these issues❤
these little people always tug at my heart strings 😭
I have an insecure attachment style (parental divorce yay!) and was recently suddenly transferred to a new department at work. I know logically this is a way to prevent layoffs but OMG this is hitting me SO HARD. It’s wild that something that my parents’ divorce 45 years ago is still affecting me.
I just feel like I can’t cope with abandonment it hurts so much I just feel so alone and that’s the thing I fear the most
Thank you, you posted this right when I'm going through it. For the idk what time in my life but I've been abandoned a lot .-.
im afraid of relationships because of one reason, i couldnt handle parting or break ups
it destroys me.
I think having a strong support system would also help, have certain friends and family members that help you and have a couple of different people so you’re not too dependent on one.
Pretty much confirms what I worked out myself. Neglectful/abusive parent, divorced. And Now every tiny smidge of distance in my close friendships makes me immediately think I'm being replaced/hated. Need to go back to therapy.
this can also collide with commitment and trust issues. then there's the question - why overcome it, if it protects you?
well, I guess, to stop feeling so damn lonely all the time.
even if you get used to the emptiness, with time it gets worse and still hurts.
OMG, whoever read this video script has the loveliest voice. Whoever gets to be close to her and have her talk to him is one lucky dude.
I’ve definitely noticed how I perceive that others don’t care about me, bc my own beliefs then I accuse them or treat them like they take me for granted. When really they’ve been there and tried to even help me, but I rejected it and didn’t realize it. And I’m overwhelmed by myself often and have been told by others that I am too much so I notice withdrawing from attempting to go try to make meaningful friendships bc I’m afraid I’ll self sabotage or that I’ll over share and overwhelm them. Or talk too much. It’s liberating when you start realizing ppl do care about you, that you are equal to them and have healthy self worth and then can start practicing communication, and learning how to have standards and boundaries and enforce them.
And def creates the SAME relationship dynamic with different people. But I continue to learn and grow and these videos help a lot!
@@tallulahwonders2816 :) that is a nice name you have there Tallulah
I already suffer from severe abandonment fear, and to make it better my mom now told me that she never wants to hear from me again and that I should never come back home again. although I never had a good relationship with her its just crushed me mentally so much I've been crying non stop for a week and I can't seem to find any more motivation anymore. on top of that tomorrow is gonna be the 4th year of my dad being dead (who was my favorite person on this planet)
I just really hope life gets better once I move in with my boyfriend
i’ve found myself watching these videos as basically a coping mechanism to try and convince myself i’m not alone in this
my mom was always the type of parent that would flip depending on what i did, if i failed to do something simple like having good grades she would yell at me and tell me if i didn’t do good i would be stuck in the class i was in forever and that i was going to fail everyone. another thing is whenever i would tell her i felt this way she would say i was being irrational and it’ll disappear with time but then also tell me that if i ever feel upset that i should tell her. I think this is considered abusive but i’ve been so scared to tell someone in case they thought i was being irrational and then get upset with me for not telling the truth or being too scared all the time and then leaving me
i’ve also found the people who i like to call my friends aren’t the best, they often joke about other people in the groups issues including mine sometimes and i feel uncomfortable about that but i’m way too scared of someone being upset with me for ruining their joke that i don’t say anything, also one of them bullies me on a daily basis saying stuff like “you should kill yourself” knowing i have depression and have thought about it, they then tell me they weren’t joking and make it seem like it’s all my fault for being clingy or annoying or telling me they hate me for something small even just getting an answer right when they had the right answer as well but i got called on but then i’m too scared that if i leave the relationship i’ll have no one else and be lonely.
i can’t fall out of these fears i still think this is all most likely just an irrational fear and people will get mad at me for making this comment but i just had to get this off my chest even if it’s to a bunch of strangers and i’m sorry but i don’t trust anyone enough to say all this to without the fear they’ll change their perspective of me and leave.
i said a lot i’m sorry
Why is it that every time i have a problem this channel has me covered, i love this channel!
I hit so many of these it's kinda scary I always fear that I'm emotionally stunted because I have a hard time letting someone close to my heart and I'm always afraid that I'll end up alone and miserable or losing all my sanity but It's not like there is anyone in my life that seems like they would help me get over these issues cuz I'm surrounded by a lot of toxicity and loneliness
This video made me understand many things. But I think the worst situation is when you already have a sister with depression who does therapy...your mom who’s sick because she’s worried about her (obviously) even though your dad doesn’t care... and you finding yourself alone and forcing yourself to be strong for them. You suffer. In silence, with a fake smile on your lips...but you suffer.
Be strong guys♡
Love that you added the "how to overcome" part
Struggling with missing a guy I dated for about 2 weeks. For the life of me I knew that this struggle didn't make sense but I am grateful to realise that it is just the symptom of a gaping abandonment wound. Hurts like hell, but this is a transformative phase that I would be foolish to not be grateful for.
Last night I commented on my problems with abandonment issues-
*I feel blessed*
♥️♥️♥️
Watching this video, I'm certain I have abandonment issues. I was neglected as a baby and malnourished. I know that if it wasn't for my grandmother taking me in, that I wouldn't be here to this day. She passed away a couple years ago and it was earth shattering. I feel like even though I'm not In a relationship, I'm finally working on widening my social circle and doing what I can to make my life the best.
Ty for making me happy i used to be sad and didn't know what to do i didn't hve a doctor cuz iam a kid but cuz of u changed my life ;)
I’m trying writing down each way I abandon myself in relationships and watching it from now on. I know it sounds too practical for such deep wounds but it’s helped in the past. I’ll let you know how it goes!
You can include extreme bullying from the entire class (excluded because you're bullied, so no one befriends you), switching classes/schools because of it... And if you ever made a friend... omg...
Your voice is very soothing. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I keep finding myself coming to this channel just to listen to your voice. Doesn't really matter to me what the video is about just that you are the one speaking softly in my ear.
So uh ... Thanks for putting your voice out there.
I really hope ppl can realize this and get the healing they need so they can know that love is a good and healthy thing to experience
Love is just a word. It doesn't exist for me. It's just something I reflexively say at the end of a call to family. I live in the present because there's nothing much in my past I want to think about, and nothing in the future to look forward to besides death and probably a harsh sentence in the afterlife from whatever God/Gods there are who didn't like I didn't live my life by their values.
I'm happier just being alone where I don't have to deal with all this crap and I can feel in control.