Bill Engvall Comedy: Narrow Pads
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- Опубліковано 10 лют 2016
- Bill Engvall: When your wife asks you to pick your daughter up some pads... So I go to aisle 17 and there are like 5,000 of these things, NONE of which say "narrow."
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About Bill Engvall
Comedian Bill Engvall was part of the enormously successful Blue Collar Comedy Tour and has starred in a number of films, TV shows and sitcoms, including Blue Collar TV, Comedy Central, A Pair of Jokers, Evening at the Improv , The Jeff Foxworthy Show, The Tonight Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. Some of Engvall's specials and albums include:
- Just Sell Him For Parts (2016)
- Them Idiots Whirled Tour (2012)
- Aged and Confused (2009)
- 15° Off Cool (2007)
- Dorkfish (1998)
- Here’s Your Sign (1996)
Engvall's work has earned his numerous awards, including American Comedy Award for “Best Male Stand-up Comedian," #1 position on the Billboard Comedy Chart for Here's Your Sign, “Best Selling Comedy album," and a Grammy Award nomination for Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road.
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Bill Engvall Comedy
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Most men with daughters have to go down this road at least once. I sure did. Doesn't help when the jerk of a cashier is smirking.
Its me I'm that jerk. I will make you take the walk of shame.
Until it happens to him..hee hee
Didn't read that right.
"Doesn't when you need to jerk off the cashier."
...
@@spitfire_saint4428 I could have said, "Doesn't help when the cashier is a total jerk-off!"
May that cashier have all daughters😂😂😂😂
"HERE'S THE LITTLE GIRL'S NARROW PADS, DADDAAAAAAY!!!!!"
I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard at the thought of your son saying that!
"Thank you son. Listen honey I don't think they heard you in SCOTLAND!"
"HERE'S THE LITTLE GIRL NARROW PADS, DADD-O!!!!!!!!!!"
XDXDXDXDXDXDXD
"Listen, honey. I don't think they heard you in SCOTLAND!!"
I woulda died of embarrassment. Either that or i woulda strangled him.
@@kimraudenbush427 homer style💀
@@AlexGonzalez-vc7sd 😂😂😂 D'OH!
My dad was proud to buy his daughters pads. He’d ask every month until we were out of the house too. I miss my dad, he was a great person and father. ❤️❤️
On my week to shop I check the cabinet and add to the list, makes it easier to remember the type and band they need. though I do ask sometimes just in case. I think having 4 younger sisters kinda quashed any weirdness when I was younger. my friends with daughters thought I was weird at first cause it didn't bother me. I told them(especially my best friend w/ 3 daughters) that he will get used to it, and the sooner he does the easier it will be.
As someone trained in dad-logic: That wasn't being supportive, that was a roundabout way of making sure you weren't pregnant.
@@tymmezinni Yeah well, I still think my dad was the best for stepping outside his comfort zone for us.
❤️
I’m 65, but when I was a kid (16 to 20) I worked at a small store. There were 8 of us who checked out groceries. We had prices on the shelves but no price sticker on the pads. When a father would come in and you can see that they’re not comfortable buying them. We would page for a price check over the intercom...😳😂
HERE'S THE LITTLE GIRL NARROW PADS DADDYYYYYYYYY
"Thank you son, Listen honey I don't think they heard you in SCOTLAND"
Are you her father
No princess I'm on some kind of sicko scavenger hunt
Would have a perfect time for him to day here's your sign
I don't think they heard you in *SCOTLAND*
I was the only girl and my dad was a real trouper. So when he got older I took care of him and mom. So there came the day when dad told me to go to the drugstore and get him some preparation H, his ‘roids were itching and hurtin’ something fierce. So I get to the store and there is no itchy ass cream aisle. So, like Bill, I ask the cashier quietly if they had prep h. She asked, in her outside voice-Does he want the cream or the one with the insertion applicator. No cell phones. I think my blood pressure bottomed out because I just remember standing there staring at her. She breaks the silence and says he could just get the cream one and use his finger as an applicator. I looked at her, dryly said I’ll take both here’s $20, keep the change. I got home told dad he owed me $20, that I bought both. He said, “you take the one back, you can’t get that cream up there good and far with your finger, you have to use that applicator. Only way it’s done.” At some point I tuned him out and just quietly left the room. Years have gone by since he passed and I kept a shoebox for him and mom of small things that bring back fond memories. A bottle of old spice after shave. His glasses. And in the corner of that shoebox is the tube of preparation h that I never returned. I occasionally take the box out on their birthdays etc. it always brings a smile to my face and I know that karma is real and God has one heck of a sense of humor.
carol belllman I absolutely loved your note about the preparation H. What a great story and memory.
Dang it...you made me cry😢
TheSharron ..........Me too (lol)
it's always the smell of bengay that brings my grammy and grampa back... i know how you feel.
Mine had so meny older sisters that he'd ask US if we needed some if he ever went to he store while me, my mom, or my two sisters, were on the rag. The most "guy" thing he'd do is call them "plugs" lol. Our dad's are true gems. Love yours, wish you the best Sweetie.
My husband and I have two daughters, ages 11 and 16. I am SO looking forward to needing him to do this for us, and someday it WILL happen!
You're a very cruel woman.. xD
Well, did it happen yet?
truckindave1 Nope, not yet. Still waiting....😁
@@dragondancer1814
I never had the opportunity. I offered to give our son a sibling. She turned me down. Now she's still in Iowa, I'm in Texas and our son is at WIU. I wanted a daughter
If your dsughter is 16 she knows. Stop faking this dhit
It's hard to type when you're laughing so hard you're crying! He is so freakin funny!
Bill Envall is hilarious!
just talks about everyday true life but in a funny way. i agree
That "I'm not in right now..." o.O
Gets me every time XD
"No princess, I'm on some kind of sycho scavenger hunt!"
As the older brother of 4 sisters, a father of a beautiful daughter and husband to a beautiful wife, I understand this all to well. nothing like getting a call/text from the wife or daughter saying they need pads. though its just as funny to tell the wife to go grab a quart of oil for one of the vehicles.
Love Bill as he seems sweet in addition to be so funny.and relatable.
Oh My God, I love this man!!!! He is so freaking funny!!! I laughed so hard, I choked up!!!
Bill,I feel your pain. I have 10 older brothers. They had to give me the whole you're becoming a woman now,speech.9 of my older brothers are marine corps snipers. Totally fearless, except at the sight of female hygiene products and women crying
I bet they yell incoming when they see a fellow women soldier on pms
Wow that's a ton of siblings! Especially brothers! I only have one sibling (older brother) so to have 9 more of him good Lord no! Lol I feel bad for anyone who dates/dated you! Lol
HAHAHAHA! OMG i died laughing!
SO Get that girl...try and ask your Daddy to go get me some pads...hell no!
He sent his secretary with his credit card. LMAO
She also bought us both lots of things we didnt need cause she could. LOL
KARMA! 👍🏻
Oh my gosh that's hilarious!! Bless them!
I highly doubt that you have 9 brothers whom are all marine core snipers. Lol
Sent this to my son who has a 5 year old daughter! Hahahaha!
His son would do the same thing!!
This is so true. If you ever want a man to leave the room, just say ANYTHING about...that stuff. We basically pretend it doesn't exist.
I just tune it out(i have 4 sisters), unless the sister in law starts talking about ob/gyn stuff, the i'm out like a fat kid in dodge ball, i feel for those folks(both doc's and the ladies), there are some nasty conditions out there that i wouldn't wish on anyone.
Meh it's just nature. I've been in a steady relationship for over 20 years. This has never bothered me.
My Hubby’s totally fine with it, until I ask him to buy me them. I have to be there with him! Lol
@@remiel3315 Someone from Blue Collar... I thinik Jeff... makes a joke about that... wife trying to be all sexy, gyno is like "No, not after seeing them at work all day"
Every once in a while you see a star, and Bill is one of them.
Just downright FUNNY stuff.....🤣
Once went to a show in a college town. The comedian did this bit about going to pick up some feminine hygiene supplies. He wanted to hold them over his head in triumph and roar, "I have a woman!" I about busted my gut.
I have a marketing degree and by extension am incapable of feeling shame. Need pads, honey? Coming right up!
Ok, you don't feel shame. WHAT ABOUT *EMBARRASSMENT?*
The best part of this is at 0:40 you can hear some lady just absolutely dying of laughter.
Lol. His son is like my sister. The more embarrassed I am in whatever situation it is, the louder she gets.
My daughter is 9. She's coming up on that real quick. I got my husband into training by occasionally having him pick up hygiene products for me. 😏
Good job😘🤣
When I worked as a cashier, I was impressed how laidback and passive men were about buying feminine hygiene products.
One guy once told me he had always been way more embarrassed about buying condoms than tampons.
Most men, in my experience, don’t make a big deal about it.
It’s something women use, so everyone who sees it, knows those things aren’t for him.
Granted, they understandably don’t want any graphic detail on how we use them, but buying them shouldn’t be that big a deal.
Most men have lived with a woman at some point in their lives.
Most have had a mom, possibly a sister, and have taken sex Ed, or had “the talk”, so they are not unaware women have periods, they just don’t need details about it.
But picking up a box from a shelf and paying for it shouldn’t be that big a deal.
My husband’s only request is that I am VERY specific about what kind I need, which I do specify.
Because it’s true, there are dozens of options.
That would be like him sending me to Lowe’s and asking me to bring him back some screws.
Need WAY more information......
🙃Too funny and crazy I love this Man he's such a natural story teller🙃👍
I had to pick up some tampons one night and ran into one of my best friends who I hadn’t seen in awhile and his wife and daughter..never saw me hide something behind my back so fast in my life..
Facial expressions remind me of Johnny Depp lmao
Thank God my dad managed to get by with out making a trip to get my pads my mom took me 😂💗
I can only imagine once my niece gets older on how her daddy, my brother-in-law, will act when it comes to this.
Haha haha.. great impression of his child-like any child, proud he could help and won the contest who can find them first! 😅
I never realized how lucky I am to have a daddy who had 5 sisters. Not only will this man go to the store at a moments notice for tampons if asked, but will pick up chocolate and sweets, and talk you through the pain with blinking a eye.
what a sweetie 💓
I'm trying to find the joke about your wife shopping at Costco with coupons
I can't find this on amazon or google video. great stuff been a fan of this amazing comedian for a long time.
So good it's classic
As the oldest girl, my mom would never let my dad buy pads😂
Buying pads is no different than buying toilet paper, lol too 😂😂
After my dad sent me to the auto parts store to pick up some oil for the car once, I now understand why men get so overwhelmed when you tell them to buy pads.
Hence the advantage of ordering online and using self-checkout machines.
My hubby will never buy them for me lol
I'm in Scotland and I heard him 🤣🤣
I love this guy
Makes me laugh every time too
hes got funny kids!!
Absolutely.
Lol perfectly cut screams
I love being fixed
In the old days my dad used to buy those and called them Mickey Mouse pads. He would wax his car with them because they didn't leave lint....LOL.
I understand this more than I care to admit. Except it was with my mom.
Laugh out loud piss funny 😂
This reminds me of that King of the Hill episode where Connie ended up staying with the Hills while her parents were on vacation and her stuff began. So who was there to go down aisle 8A too? Hank.
Wait until he has to take the pads that he bought back to the store because they were the wrong type/size and has to exchange them for other pads that he has to describe to the clerk what he is looking for and needs help finding them. Then the store is out of stock of those type of pads he's looking for and the clerk asks him while other women are in that store aisle if some other type of pad will do. :-)
Let me guess this was you
Speaking from experience?
@@toddskivolocki6972 How could you tell? 😁
Oh LMFAO!!!
OMG men are ridiculous sometimes. I remember getting my dad to buy pads for me when I was a teen. I kept it nice and simple, just tore the flap off the last box and said “get this”.
I gave my daughter a roll of duct tape and a washcloth.
I just keep a photo of my wife's brand & size in my cell phone!
@@firstlast-fr1le 🤦♀️ really not hard guys !
@@RavenMacy NEWS FLASH it is for us guys
@@RavenMacy your right its not. I have never understood why some guys have such a problem with this.
I had to ask for help at a Walmart the first time I had to go down that aisle, LOL
LOL
Dear Carol , you have been blessed by your parents in your life ! My Dad died when I was just 19 and still living at home. I would have wished to have had him that long in my life ! He died at such a uoung age. I miss him everyday !
Lol
😅😅so funny
you see,i dont have a mother they divorce years ago so my dad always ask me if i still have my pads,for a girl i dont even know my own size😂😂
Had to get them for my mom once,, I was about 7yo, back then a kid could walk to the store,, told the guy I needed A BOX OF THOSE FLOWERS, he didnt blink an eye,, oh and a pack KOOLS to
That is so my dad XD
LMAO 🤣
My dad bless his heart has two daughters , when it’s that time of the month I write the code “feminine hygiene products “ as to not freak him out
My friend lived with his mum, 2 younger sisters and his girlfriend lived with them for a while. Apparently shortly after she moved in the youngest sister started and it was soon established with maybe the odd overlap or maybe a day off they all followed each other, one after another like dominoes. Worse was his dad worked away a lot so he was only guy in the house with a cycle that never ended. By the time he and his gf moved out he could buy pads or tampons like he was a pro. Knew styles, size, thickness, types.
Just get a package of diapers.
My dad had to do this a few times for my mom and I when I was growing up and he never complained but to this day he cannot handle any kind of period talk whatsoever lol
I have bought pads for my mom, my wife and daughter. It is no big deal.
And now that little girl has a kid of her own.
Not the pads, but my dad took me to buy my first "training" bra..lol Nonetheless, he was proud;)
I was the parent who helped my 11 year old son choose the best fitting cup, to go into his jock strap... "father was too busy". We did a fine job!
1:39 "heres your sign"
Thank you!
My dad was never embarrassed to go get pads. It was my mom, my sister and I so 3 against 1. He was like just tell me what to get and I'll get it. Although if he didnt get the right ones that was okay too. He was a good dad. Never got uncomfortable or anything lol
my dad was like that. I had to write out exactly what i wanted, but if he was ever embarrased, he didn't show it.
And now his lil girl is 35 and been married for 7 years. Time flies so fast.
😂🤣
2:09 🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Thats a week away might be one of mine
Funny
No one in my entire family would ever ask the man of the house to do this.
Why? Its not that hard.ill be on the phone with my girl going " they didn't have your regular but these are heavy flow with wings will they work?"
My dad *hates* the sight of blood, so he had plenty of incentive to go down to the drugstore to pick up pads, first for my mom then for me, without complaining or feeling embarrassed. But for years, instead of admitting his problem with "the red stuff," he would say instead: "Happy women mean the less likely they'll be willing to kill me when I do or say something stupid when their hormones are threating to blow my roof off."
Never understand why alot of men get freaked out about buying feminine hygiene products.
Cause they don't use feminine stuff
Because as men, we're sadly typically brought up to think that thing ladies do once a month is weird and/or gross. And then when we get thrown in that aisle, our brains just go out to lunch.
If that is not a father's worst nightmare,
I don't know what is.
Funny. Funny. Funny.
Im good till next Tuesday
My stepfather never had to do this. Because when one of the plants the company he worked for was shutting down, was finally closed, there were boxes of tampons that usually go in the tampon machines and instead of throwing them out, brought back over 2,000 tampons to the house. Now about 5 years ago, i switched from tampons to a menstrual cup.... but those lasted my older step sister and me..... 8+ years? The day i had to start buying tampons for the first time was a sad, sad day.
What album did this come off of?
I dont see why this is actually a problem. I have gone down the femme product aisle and gotten pads for my friends Daughter bunch of times. Its not that hard to do.
When I lived with my dad in Pennsylvania, he would have to go to the store...he expected a box of 10 to last my whole cycle...too funny
More than 10 for 5-7 days 😂😂
Some time ago my daughter at age 25 moved back in with me and my wife and of course the 3 grandkids and her boyfriend 1 night while I was at work she called me and asked if I could buy her some man hole cover aka PADS I was like WTF
HOLY SHIT HE TALKS!!!!
he talks...??!!!
he....holy shit....
*faints*
I'll tell ya, those pads work great in a pinch when your hemroids are acting up.
You should teach him how to use his indoor voice.👍😁😎
The pains it takes to be a good girl dad! These men do not get enough credit!
I had to buy to buy pads for my mom I think I was 14 I was so embarrassed but when I think back it's just part of life
On tax returns, there should be a deduction for sanitary pads.
Barbara Brennan here they thankfully stopped taxing them
yes, for any menstrual hygiene. a lot of states have stopped taxing them, but the ones that still do should reimburse the tax.
An i cleaned the dam gutters two
Moody hummm wonder why
The girl in question just had a baby two days ago. How old is this clip?
I'd like to clarify something for the men in the room. Pads and tampons are for periods. Men don't have periods. EVERYONE who had ever sold you pads knows they aren't yours. Confident, assured men have no trouble buying feminine hygiene products because they know they are men and are secure in what that means. Real men buy their ladies pads! Be real men!
Amen! My dad was more than willing to go to the store and pick up pads and tampons for my mom and my sisters.
20 sum years later, I’m doing the same thing for my wife and daughters.
I love this bit from Bill cause it IS funny to an extent… but truthfully I have no problem picking this stuff up for my family. I will say that I was a little lost when I was looking for the specific type that my wife wanted for our eldest. But outside of that it’s not a big deal… it’s just another necessity on the grocery list.
Fake and gay
“Real men” says the woman
@@TheRedDread15 yes, it's comedy, but there are countless guys out there who do actually react somewhere along those lines - to which she is addressing.
How about a dad who bought his daughter tampons? My dad did for me. Thank God my dad never got embarrassed.
I work at Walmart right at the Canadian border. Had an Indian older man ask for pads with what I assume is either his wife or daughter by his side. He asked me a great series of questions. She didn't speak English very well at all. I was so embarrassed but went with it the best I could. I about flipped when he asked me which one I use.
Heres a clue. The skinny pads can be used for first aid purposes. Have a cut. Get antiseptic tape to cover. Possible other uses. Some would like to tape my mouth shut possibly. Kids get skinned knees etc. Being from an old fashioned upbringing, years ago they told you something about not getting wet. So when i was walking down hill ti catch a bus it started raining. I had my period. I wasnt sure what would happen. Maybe i would disintegrate? Back then everything was hushhush.
When a friend was trying to teach me about tampon use. She stood outside her bathroom door coaching me. Who says... NOTGONNADOIT. GEORGE BUSH, theres a joke in there somewhere. Actually Dana Carvey imitating Bush.