[Vinesauce] Joel - Windows 10 Destruction
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- Опубліковано 11 сер 2016
- Microsoft rolls out their latest OS, and with that there's a whole new generation of toolbars and viruses waiting. In fact, it seems Microsoft has been taking notes from a certain familiar "personal assistant". Off to the internet we go, strap in.
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Special thanks to Danooct1 for offering to help out with the viruses featured in the video.
Also special thanks to Leurak for making the best virus ever, - Ігри
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I don't think I can help you with that.
Microsoft Cortana
Who's been drawing dicks
Do you love me? :O
Cortana is shit. SIRI FTW BITCHES!
Microsoft Cortana are you related to bonzai buddy?
Good evening, *EXPAND DONG*!
*"You'll have sex tonight"*
*Game show music plays*
Im crying
Mayuri Sama Minecraft Sex Porn
no nonononono REGREET REGREET
Windows is in dangeir
Because:
You'll have sex tonight
I died at that part. 😂🤣🤣😆😆
@Toxin
You mean.....
*The Pussy is Right* :3
I like how he did this so much youtube auto-created a game called Destruction
Your pfp is sus
@@NotJohnTanner Your comedy is stale.
@@Nocturne61 thanks i already know that
I noticed that wtf
@iurnmen Sounds like a shitty death metal band, they'd probably have a legible logo.
7 years later and the way the cropped video lines up at 9:34 just right to show $1 and Joel saying "ONE DOLLAR!" still makes me laugh every single time.
I quote that shit everyday 😭😭
Can you believe it?
NO
You can run but you can't hide. I'm coming.
Bonzi BUDDY OH SHIT
*_E x p a n d D o n g_*
Cortana BonziBuddy oh no cortana what have you done mincrosoft
do you know expand dong?
Yes
That moment of regret when he said "minecraft sex porn" is hilarious
minecraft p*** is a real thing
@@user-hr8rc1of3x i know
@@user-hr8rc1of3x yes, and it's not as bad as you might think.
Joel:”I heard it does something when you put in Minecraft”
“M I n e c r a f t s e x p o r n”
@cacacae10_ RBLX ill rewatch it later and tell you the timestamp
The way he says “windows is in danger” makes me die laughing every time
*vhindoes is in dangaer*
Or how about "TWO PELICANS"
IT’S GOT PIG NOISES?!
3:23
vhindos is en daynjher
Can we just appreciate that despite everything, windows defender still tried to fix things. Underappreciated hero of windows destruction
Like it's amazing how good Defender is nowadays. I've got another antivirus program installed on my system but it rarely finds any issues. Namely I don't usually get into crusty, suspicious files but if I do, Defender usually catches it.
@@VikingArelius For all the rightful shit people give Windows and Microsoft, Windows Defender is legit. Honestly glad we're past the days where people paid for garbage like McAfee and Norton, lol
i can just imagine windows defender saying ''I CAN STILL FIX THIS'' while the entire system is FLOODED with malware
@@deep_sea_creature99999Windows Defender: "I can fix him."
@@ExaltedUrielas someone who unfortunately had mcaffe preinstalled on a windows 7 computer at a age where i wouldnt know how to remove it yes
Joel when are you doing windows 11 destruction.
*sad music plays*
It's gonna be Windows 12
probably windows 20
In 2 years
Windows 3.0 Destruction wouldn't be very doable because you wouldn't be able to really get online with it to fuck it up.
9:56 Joel saying "Minecraft sex porn" is one of the best things I've ever heard.
Lol
Then he was freaking out and trying to abort the mission
*_No, nonononono! Regret, regret_*
Why was he so worried?
Resolve All because Minecraft sex porn
I would like to remind everybody that Cortana was named after the AI that ends up getting corrupted in Halo. You know the Cortana that you spent all your time with who was super sweet and really nice and then all of a sudden she becomes a psychopath who wants to take over the world.
Yeah Microsoft owns Halo and Cortana was named after *that* Cortana.
Now imagine how I felt after I realized that when I got my computer and it had Cortana on it.
To be fair, this program was developed *before* Cortana's heel-turn in the games.
@@RepublicOfUs which low key makes it funnier to me
It has the same voice actress, too. It's literally just Cortana
Who gives a fuck about that shit game series
2:15 Due to Joel cutting out the Bonzi Buddy part, the English subtitles weren't refreshed and now has a 10 second delay xd.
Why did he
@@cat1554 He got DMCAd, iirc.
So can they fix it, now?
@@cubechan1938no
Just saw that and the subtitles glitched out, lol
I love how he says “two pelicans”
It needs to be a song
t o o p e l i k e n s
Two pellekans
two peLi CaNS
Too pelleycans
i love how joel has the bonzi buddy description memorized to the point that he recognized microsoft used the same damn wording
Yep🗿
@@DJ-Tekkuneon Yo, Angelo
It’s engraved into his memory, forever haunting him
You Have Been Bruhe'd i hear a jojo reference
No. It cut the part that shows him looking up bonzi buddy wiki
For anyone who wants to know, the theme at 12:06 is the oracle from secret of mana
thank you.
tysm
Thx
My brother in Christ I thank you for this.
i love you
3:46
Windows Police: "Your system is at risk." **Kills pigs**
“IT- IT’S GOT PIG NOISES!? WHAT!?”
@@poble *laughs continuously*
@sprinkls okay, my- my computer window broke. smashed!
@@radioactiveApparition Anyway lets go on the internet again and find some weird shit- oh. 41 infections found?
@@ndrew_B nah, I don- nah usnsikoanus *spit*
death battle : Bonzi Buddy vs Cortana
You sir, are a genius.
Someone needs to make this happen.
+kjftehstarman 64 cortana gave me a sukk
Gorillaz Fan?
james ledger yes
Same, favourite song?
"Minecraft sex porn NONONONO"
I died
Same
more like KNOW KNOW KNOW KNOW KNOW
someone needs to make a GIF of that
regret
regret
regret
same
Windows 10: *literally trying its hardest to alert Joel that he has over 41 viruses downloaded and is gonna destroy the pc*
Joel: Oh is that a- OH LOOK AT THAT CAT!
ADHD problems.
Idk if Joel has ADHD, but seeing him so distracted from imminent danger by such stupid things is a mood
4:32 is a hilarious edit, he's just having fun and it's just blaring an alarm in the background.
That's right fucker. Cortana is my daughter taking the family job.
BonziBUDDY Hey 🅱eter.
Yes Elmo from Sesame Street
BonziBUDDY she'll choose het
and who's your wife...
Siri.
Most effective methods of execution:
Electric chair
Lethal injection
Firing squad
_”Lemon” “Milk”_
fun fact: Lemon Milk is the name of a font.
Clicking the Mel Gibson 100 times
Pig killers
Lemon
I'm still curious, what does "lemon" "milk" mean
9:56 The search history of an average 12 year old
and to think, windows defender is now an actually competent antivirus. how time flies.
3:36
Windows police?
*D o n ' t R u n*
Why are you running?!
They know what he look for on contana for minecraft
Re
Congratulations. You are being rescued.
*please do not resist.*
ua-cam.com/video/2S559fi91iA/v-deo.html
So we just gonna pretend we never saw that "I gave milk ice to my *younger cousin* " thing?
Alright.
It's best to just pretend we never saw it
I'm scared, especially since that's an old comment.. from like 2007..
It's 2019...
*Oh no..*
Is that whole forum sexual or is it actually people who just like to eat ice? I really don't know
The next line mentioned 1% and 2% milk, so I’m gonna hold onto the hope that it’s milk and not “milk.”
*_SWEET HOME ALABAMA-_*
I cant believe this was 7 YEARS AGO
9:30 I wheezed so hard lmao
"1$?"
I like to imagine the bank account just says
$1.02
its been literal years and i never noticed until now that "milk" ice dude's name is *Icemeat* but noticing that single extra little detail has immediately taken a decade off of my lifespan
glitterb0mb i don’t get it
@@jimmyelkordy3752 you don't want too
Yeow
@Reaper42 hey kakyoin
What the fuck
>Make yourself look big.
>Punch mountain lion in the nose.
Quality
More like
>Make yourself look big
>[LetsGetItOn.mp3]
>Remind the mountain lion he doesn't get to bring friends.
ay, what's the name of that Panda? I swear I knew once and it's driving me crazy.
Sato I think her name is Luna. I'm not quite sure. I believe I know the artist though, and if I'm right it's SciFiJackRabbit.
Jun :v
Thaaaankyou
It's so strange to watch a Joel video from the past, his English has improved so much since he started.
I never understood the “milk” ice and the “lemon” ice bit until now... it isn’t milk or lemon at all...
I am a fucking twenty year old nimrod.
pee pee coom coom
me too dude. I used to be like "I mean sure, ice cubes made of milk are kinda gross, but isn't this overreacting?"
The guy joel stopped at was probably a kid too, since he asked about milk percentage and talked like he didn't understand what "milk" was, poor innocent youth...
"milk" ice doesn't sound that bad, but "lemon" ice sounds disgusting
@@matcha6710 both sound yum
so if you want to escape an animal just T-Pose
And then... ¿then?
and a monolith
Can we get 5000 subscribers with no videos? You have achieved your dream.
Can we get 5000 subscribers with no videos? Why do people who try get nothing but you have fucking 8,000 subscribers
You have to show dominance
The captions are messed up after Cortana is revealed, just a lil note.
It had a little section they somehow removed, probably because of copyright
andodide ooooooo that’s why it was cut there.
It's sad it got removed
This moment was the best of the video
Music copyright, I assume. Can prevent monetization on videos that have that.
The subtitle needs to be updated, that's for sure.
there was a comparison between them and a cool edit, which used a copyrighted song that was removed a month or two ago along with the part, and the captions arent updated.
7:08
hold the hampter
Hold him gently like a hamburger
@@PyroscityAnd eat it
@@andyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaNo hamster has ever died a normal death
8:56
Ad : How much money do you want to be making?
Joel : *1 Dollar*
does "milk" mean what I think it means?
;)
S U C C
+Eddie Burke S U C C. M Y. S U C C
ohhhhhhh no..... no no no no... wait what he gave it to his younger cous-AHHH
+Dragan232 my younger cousin "chewed my ice" if you know what I mean
I punished my old computer for its shitty internet issues with the MEMZ virus, best experience I ever had
Geld Snivy Well done, sounds fun
Geld Snivy calling bullshit considering the maker didn't make it available afaik
Boat - Do research before you comment please, I've seen school computers out of order from this virus
i should do that to my old laptop when i get a new one.
install linux
him: "Look AT THE CAT!"
windows: A threat has entered your computer
joel saying "lemon mixed with milk" will both make me laugh and lose faith in humanity every time
Killing
"your computer might be at risk"
-"NO SHIT!!!" xDDD
Stop! You have violated the law.
Testcat
Testcat *CEASE*
"xDDD"
please no
*_$ O N E D O L L A R . $_*
What kind of income is going to set you free?
Forrest Millsap O N E D O L L A R .
How much money do you need to buy all the things you've ever wanted?
@@Cramslor Uno dollar.
O N E D O L L A R
"Windows is in ðãñgêrrèè"
-- Joot
10:42 I can't help but imagine Joel as the guy in the background asking that.
That MEMZ virus is legit scary. Like, holy shit.
Ripple dont worry, its master Leurak made a tutorial on how to stop it.
It's luckily a joke virus. The new versions now search stuff like "How to make dank memes" instead of "How to buy weed".
Well, the memz virus was meant to be downloaded with your knowledge of understanding what you're getting into
Fortunately, it can only destroy your computer if you run it. It's really just a fun way of putting down a computer that you don't want anymore and want to obliterate for security reasons, or in advanced cases, to send to one of those scammers that calls you and remotes into your computer. You need to know exactly what you're doing in order to do that though.
TunnelDragon44 i need to see that happen now
The MEMZ trojan at the end reminded me of some nightmares I had as a kid where my computer would get a virus that plays loud music and takes away control from the mouse and keyboard.
>computer gets trashed by memz
>nyan cat plays
how is the nyan cat thing not getting affected by the trojan
That sounds dreadfull
Pure quality ear rape
Jacen Hale memes never die. They are only forgotten.
Someoneman
i had the exact same nightmares!
I love how his computer just fucking melts at the end
10:00 for some reason those 2 seconds of Joel saying “Regret, regret!” live rent-free in my head and I quote it regularly.
If you speak swedish to Cortana she'll write you a new Chainsmokers song.
I speak swedish lol
No Name fan!
Vänta är du svensk? (Wait do you speak swedish?)
Lol
VÄNTÄ
When I heard " 'Lemon' mixed with 'milk' "
My head contracted into my body and I gained 19 deseases and started to bleed from my eyes.
Same
Being immune to the shit of the internet hell gives me fear
@@prdgy6578 yes, "lemon" mixed with "milk"
And a not too well cooked bat
@@prdgy6578 ah yes, sorry
Spooky
i was today days old that i realized thats inverted colour bonzi buddy in the thumbnail
4:21 = MIDI Mario Hell Flashbacks
I would love a stream where Joel just explores random parts of the internet.
I think he'd be too affraid of finding by porn by accident.
same
You shouldn't stream it because 1, yeah, the porn stuff, and 2, if you record it, you can edit out any graphic/gore stuff.
Cease Crismon
^^
Cease Crismon Well, he could make a video instead, I don't care.
Joel you should destroy Windows Vista on April 11, 2017, the day Vista goes out of support to officially kill it off. But be warned: I tried destroying Vista on my test computer and it ended in a disaster!
Kevin Maguire Do tell, what happened?
My birth day is on April 11
Apexx_paladin Oh geez I forgot to reply back here! What ended up happening was all the good antiviruses ended up slowing vista down so much that it couldn't get destroyed. I ended up just deleting system32 when the computer had free resources to "destroy" the OS.
wow
Apexx_paladin Yeah...only highly trained windows destruction professionals should destroy vista...I was even able to destroy win xp but not vista!
Joel messing with the wallpaper is literally some of most entertaining stuff in these.
8:59 Joel stuck in Venezuela!?!?😳
Oh no not jobel
_* windows is in danger*_
ABBU III don't hurt him
ABBU III *w e e n d o h s e e s e e n d a n g e r*
*_WINDOWS IS IN DANGER_*
ABBU III *dangare* 😉
ABBU III is in danger
*How much money do you want to be making?*
One dollar.
*Really think about that.*
One dollar.
*What kind of level of income is going to set you free?*
One dollar.
*How much money do you need to buy all the things you've ever wanted?*
One dollar.
Lüminism i
*Prepare for changes.. BIG CHANGES*
One dollar!
TYC That's by far the best part.
Lüminism O N E D O L L A R !
Lüminism Mark Zuckerberg?
9:50
“I’ve heard that if you ask her Minecraft questions, it does something different.”
“Minecraft Sex Porn-NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. NO, REGRET REGRET. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO-[laughing]!!”
Cant wait for windows 11 destruction
Same
I like how to person make the captions just puts "I don't speak Swedish"
You mean I like how “THE” person “THAT” makes the caption just puts “I don’t speak Swedish
How how badly they caused it to lag.
for reference joel said “vill du äta surströmming på min erotiska fula kuk?” aka “will you eat sour herring on my erotic, ugly cock” 😂
@@shr00mski did he really say that holy shit- 😂😂😂😏
JOEL WTF KING CRIMSON SKIPPED THE SECTION WHEN YOU WERE COMPARING CORTANA TO BONZI BUDDY
Marko Studio thank god I thought I was the only one!!!!
UA-cam be like:"This is a test"
It wasn’t always like that...
@@portablecollector Yeah what happened? I noticed that too
Jessay I saw a comment that said that the vid apparently got hit with a strike for the music in that segment.
Still waiting for Windows 11 destruction
who else is waiting patiently for windows 11 destruction soon?
me
RIP Joel,
Friend-zoned by a computer since 2016.
Prod. Kuso That was a lie
But what if Joel was not kill?
**rewind sound**
3:23
*Windos is in daingeir*
Vindos seeseen daenjeyre
RetroKirby Gaming
thanks for this timestamp.
THE jake360 there’s a clip for that :)
Teletext
link pls
Teletext
nvm i found it
I love how the Cortana bit ended up becoming a great animation.
Joel is that one friend, who will came up to you saying "hang on, ill show you somethings cool". Then, he shows the most disguasting thing ever.
Is anyone gonna mention that joel searched "Internet explorer anime"
They did actually try making an anime mascot a while ago
@@I_love_dr_stone the manga is more of a 4-Koma though
you say that as if you wouldn't watch an anime about Internet Explorer
Hat Mi
@@bowsmed Would you? ua-cam.com/video/BHTUlF7NA2o/v-deo.html
moral of the story:
T-Pose when you see a mountain lion
"ScaredShitless.ani not found"
Then punch it
They were right when they said tpose for dominance
Understandable, have a nice day
dog does sucky fanart I did that to a deer 3 days ago in camp
I can’t wait for Windows 11 Destruction
Given that Bonzi Buddy/Cortana area got cut, that amazing skit,
the closed captions got fucked over, too. That miiiiight need updated.
absolutely OBSESSED with the way joel says 'pelicans'
Gutas frogesatnch
peli cans
2 PelicAns
*too pelicahns*
pellycans
"M I N E C R A F T__S E X__P O R N"
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Regret, Regret!
cambreaKer: .webm.exe
"double click"
>search in google
"click"
@@chrisphil510 *_-M I N E C R A F T-_*
9:56
Can’t wait for Windows 11 Destruction
2:08 "Every copy of Cortana is personalized."
T-Pose to assert your dominance over the mountain lion
Then punch it
t pose to be eaten by rumia then get asserted over by rumia
('_')
T
"How to nuke the entire Human Race"
Pretty sure she's gonna try to in Halo 6.
Nope. She already tried in Halo 5.
Wait, who are you talking about? Joel is a guy.
O wait Cortana now I get it
FBI Be Like
Wtf Even.
Still waiting for win 11 destruction
I can't wait for windows 11 destruction
My Windows 10 laptop came with a REAL antivirus but Cortana is still here.Help me.
Adam _ 9001 xD
Lol
lol
There's only one way out... *Smashes computer with big meaty claws*.
Adam _ 9001 I use avast
*8:04** Tposing, before it was considered humorous*
It was never funny
@@ImaginationMeme it was but then fortnite put it in
T posing was a meme for years thanks to Gmod, it just didn't become mainstream until last year
Jeremy Boateng it was funny until 3 year old fortnite players started doing it everywhere.
Who remembers the original edit of this video with more of the Cortana-Bonzi Buddy bit.
It’s been broken, I wish there was more of it
2:14 oh God bonzibuddy has hacked the captions and now it's off timing
I want my steak dinner, James Farley.
Your system is at risk!- *pig noise*
Sounded more like Raptors.
*raptor.wav*
mariokart3456
Shane Dawson WHO
All Windows Polices are Pigs.
555 Likes Omg I Witnesssesessed That
Imo the if you delete the "cortana = bonzi" buildup its kinda funnier
7:09 is now an emoji on my Discord server
And now it's my profile picture
*"yOu'lL HaVe sEcc ToOnItE"*
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Google really knows everything these days..
RFNO You'll have secc tonight
yOu'lL HaVe sUcC ToOnItE
I read that right when it said it in the vid lol
8:00 T-pose to assert dominance
Dylan Green *WEAR A BIG ASS COAT*
More like Act as a tree
This was ahead of its time
12:28 my grandma’s computer when she clicks a scam email.
ooh, so this is how sex in minecraft was created. thanks jobel
2:15 got cut recently (my best guess is that the music got claimed), and that threw the subtitles completely out of whack.
Y0Y0Evan The subtitles were still very out of whack before.
If I remember correctly, Joel was comparing the descriptions of Cortana and Bonzi Buddy?
ua-cam.com/video/NRucWcCQ_YY/v-deo.html
@@KlonoaPrime oh cool thanks
I even noticed it too, the unclaimed ones was 1 or 3 minutes longer.
Windows ME Destruction?
***** I bet you that if he does a Windows ME destruction... It will be a nightmare.
***** It always is.
***** You're next, Windows ME.
***** YOU'RE ALL NEXT
***** He already has... IT'S TO LATE!
*1 dollar*
*1 dollar*
7:15 Hampter
I have never clicked a video faster.
Uncle Jobel's been teasing this on twitter, and I've been checking my email like a methhead for 3 days now. At long last!
also Buckethead IS god
thats the equivelent of saying i have never taken a shit faster
Just wait until homie fued
+Sir Fuckface 😒
"I gave the "milk" to my cousin" really fucked me up
I really enjoyed listening to him speak Swedish to Cortana
Imagine how many people must know where joel lives, like seriously.