Narcissist's exploit codependency addiction
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- Опубліковано 6 лют 2024
- Excerpt from Ross Rosenberg's video: Narcissist's Most Potent Weapon: "Induced Conversation" Part 1.
Watch full-length video here: • Narcissist's Most Pote...
ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.
Ross's pioneering codependency contributions are responsible for the sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developing a treatment program that permanently resolves it. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops.
His global impact is best illustrated by his UA-cam channel with 23 million views and 260,000 subscribers and the sale of 155,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.
Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com.
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Narcissistic are codependent on everyone ❤their are energy vampier. Period
Glad I got out.
Glad I'm now immune due to my repulsion.
Shaken but not disturbed.
🙏🕯️
Me too. It’s a lonely life though. Most groups of people are led by one. But now I look at them and see red flashing lights and “road closed bridge out” signs.
It does feel repulsive to realize that we were raised to be a boot licker. That habit is sickening really.
@@pegtop5455We don’t ignore red flags as easily anymore.
Facts. Me too. 😊
MEE TOO! I heard what this counselor said my mouth automatically shouted "NO... NOPE... HAEL NO!"
YUCK! I'm absolutely repulsed by my Xhusband and DREAD the day I have to see him again because our son is on active duty and his wife is expecting a baby. I wish my X would disappear so I never have to be even in the same town!
Lol boy did he find out im not codependent! 😂i WALKED AWAY!
Facts. Goodbye 👋 like they NEVA seen it before. 😊
Once a scapegoat wakes up, their hypersensitivity to recognize these traits can assist them to back away from these people.
Ya. And then trying to teach it to your kids when you see it in their mate choices... Yikes. Sucks. ❤
That's why no contact is essential
Good point !
You are helping me.
He is a blessing yas 👏
So true, hold back say nothing, respond nothing. Its ugly and just mean. Thank you Ross Js
💯❗️Not happening ever again done and dont ever come near me ty Sir ❤
My narc husband was a pervert , he tested me from the very beginning when I was very young to see if I would tolerate him setting me up to abandon me
I think you give narcissist to much power indeed. I have been married to one for 25 years and early on when we had small children putting me at a disadvantage to keep the peace, I had to learn very quickly how to think about his behavior which to me was similar to my small children. Sensitive, self centered, demanding with poor self control. I used to try to explain his bad behavior and get all upset that he either didn't get it or didn't care. After many fights and emotional turmoil I decided he wasn't worth my brain space to dwell on his offenses as they came, but much more productive to prevent the offenses in the first place. Disarming him in practice is simply letting him know im advance how something might go wrong and how would we like to deal with that? He's predictable so that was easy. The other thing that works well is staw man. Or hypothetical bad guy said this, did this - can you believe that? I also made myself an example of good, calm, reliable, honest behavior to include apologies that were quick and efficient when I was wrong about something no matter how small. Now don't get me wrong, I was not a push over, he would know if I was upset about his behavior but I never became dramatic and I would get back to my day. In this way he understood we were seperate humans and I didn't need a mutual resolve and my personal happiness, hobbies interests or whatever had nothing to do with him. Over the years I have managed to tame his behavior by just starting consistent and understanding his adolescent thinking patterns and his limits. The last ten years have been good, he has a long leash with lots of hobbies and I encourage that. I still focus most of my energy towards my grown children and it all good. I think with narcs you have to sincerely not give a shit and understand their level of maturity. In short, I understood that he truly does think like a spoiled child and also that I could never reveal that I knew that about him. They don't like you to see them and so I didn't. I hope that makes sense.
Wow Tammy, your last statement rang so true….they don’t like you to see them.
Oh my God! You really understand him! My husband suffers from PTSD and sometimes I don't know if it is his ptsd or if he is a narc. I do give a shit about the things he does, and I don't have a hobby. I am so glad I stopped to read the comments. Yours give me light because I do love my husband, and I k ow he loves me. We have been together for 10 years. On Christmas, we got into an argument ending on a fight, and he got triggered because I shame on him, and the next things he just left and told me he doesn't want to be with me. But later he said he loves me but has to let me go. It is already a month and 2 weeks of he being gone. We have2 little ones, and they missed him at home, but he takes them on the weekends. I would love to talk more to you because it seems like you found a key if understanding. Thank you
Glad I can help. You know it took ten years for that man to learn to apologize. Now when he screws up and has behavior outburst - typically outside stressor because he's a captain with a major airline and it's tense. I give him zero reaction. I mean zero stone face reaction. I give him NOTHING to work with. Not sorry you feel that way, or equal negative energy. They will use anything you give them and so he gets nothing. I just go about my business until I notice a calming and then I ask him what he wants for dinner like nothing happened, or wink at him and say you look handsome in those jeans or anything sincere. It releases him because he knows he has screwed up but doesn't want you to see it. Once released, he will say he's sorry and tell my why he's really upset. I always say sure honey, I get it. I knew that outburst had nothing to do with me . Let's move on. This is how you get them to check their own behavior.
@tammykletecka4116 Well, that's when I screwed everything because I get emotional after a while. You know what I mean, I get tired trying to understand and forgive that actually I am not forgiving. How did you learn not to care? I mean, it is difficult not to.
Well it wasn't easy at first, but it's starts with a decision that no one can hurt you unless you let them. You have to decide that he won't live in your head any longer than the initial offense. They will feed on your response regardless of what it is and so, as hard as it sounds,you can not give them anything to work with. Narcs live in a movie where they are always the star. Do not give them leading role by reacting to their drama. It is hard at first, but I promise you that you can do it and become very good at it. You have to give him appropriate roles to play in his movie. You need to move him away from the character he's created for a new character that YOU created. I hope this makes sense. It's slow, deliberate, covert, consistent behavior modification.
These are predator instincts. Separate yourself from anyone like this and let God separate you from these people. Don’t be sad when they’ve gone.
Thank You 🙏🏽 I’ll try not to be Sad 😞 when they’re gone.
Awe Man… This is gonna take some Real WORK!
But worth every minute!
Super helpful today. You ARE a blessing from God
My narc sister has a desperately co-dependent husband. Whenever I see the poor guy, he looks exhausted, half dead really. I think she's going to eventually kill him.
My narc mom absolutely sucked the life out of my too sweet, too forgiving, co dependent Dad. Worked him to the bone to his dying day, for the $. I believe there truly is an evil presence behind narcissism. It is like the epitomy of evil. The essence of it. Vampire like. No remorse. No empathy. Takers. Something evil in it.
The partner of my narc brother inlaw looks very drained to.
On top of that, she has to work hard to put up the facade to us that they are the 'power couple'.😂
As long as her heart is beating, the abuse goes on.
They see us as regular loosers, and treat us as such.🙄🙄😸
He will pray for death and unless he finds God to help give him strength he may take his own life ?
Glad i got out and I going to stay out
Once you know , you never go back.
Resist the devil (narcissist) and they will flee. Go no contact, if you can. Go grey rock, if you can. Seek protection, ask for help from trusted resources.
God hears our prayers.🙏🏽
I pray that God would make a way for these people to get out and see the truth. I pray they get out and stay out in Jesus name.
The whole episode, please
Truth. Be careful not to talk to a narcissist who you have distanced yourself from! 🎉
Codependency? I was just being a nice person. Now that I know about the A-hole with a crown. This will never happen again lol. I'm on point now. Lesson learned and it took one time.
Uh oh. Watch out. That's what I said. Then I got tested.... With a much sneakier, much trickier, much WORSE one. Then, I REALLY learned what I arrogantly claimed I had. Be careful friend. We will be tested on these lessons. For sure. Caution. ❤
Boy she was tricky
This is so true Ross. Thank you. I was too arrogant to see this. I thought I was more intelligent than them and this was a big trap.
I AM SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL! I left my ex narc 35 days ago. And I am NOT GOING BACK!
They hope but they don't know.Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Do they know that?
Thanks Ross.
Opened my eyes to these evil devils. The knowledge made my narc radar ultrasonic
Thank u 🙏
They use family and friends relay the narratives
So true 💯💯
Thank you for this info.
So many mask's to embrace....
I am out and never go back # I stil can not believe that # People can play like that with your mind and let you get hook like you are in drugs # is mindblowing 😮😮
When I figured out the game, I stopped participating completely. They each lost their minds! Deployed all sorts of tactics to draw me in, but by then, I was wise to them. So, in secret, I morned my life and got prepared. Once I was ready, I quietly left and never went back. No phone calls, no nothing. After working on myself for 20 years, and one by one, I looked VERY closely at each relationship in my life. Unfortunately, I was inundated with all sorts of folks from the NPD spectrum. I cut each relationship out after giving each person the situation to either be a stand-up person or enough "rope to hang themselves." Now I'm FREE and completely self sustained. I'm still learning and healing ❤
How scary. It’s so messed up because it’s an unconscious feeling… now I see why it’s so dangerous. It’s basically the same thing as being date raped or being too drunk to “say no”. TERRIBLE.
Scary because it is so true!
I'm gone 4 good. I don't never want to talk or be around him ever.
Never im a lone wolf
Glad mine found NEW supply.
You are right. Co depends are easy food for the nacs..
True facts I'm trying to get out I don't want to be with my husband anymore he is doing way over to much he does any and everything
Yep! They withhold info that’s useful to you. While you have to spill your beans allllllll day so they can manipulate
I loved the 4 narcs in my life so much, but i knew deep down there was something deeply broken in them and they could not give a NORMAL love, only way they could survive was through all of the predictable Narc ways of abuse. I have lost them all now and its painful, but I do know that my prayers were answered for peace. God gave a way out for me. I now have to move forward to heal and deal with this new life without them. Our prayers are usually answered in one way or another, and sometimes its not answered in the way we expect. God knows what's best for our peace. He knows when wickedness will not get better and allows these evil ones to continue until they self-destruct. Hard to watch but sometimes Peace comes at a high price.
Not anymore ! 💪
I'm watching a lawyer in court do this to the judge who has become codependent because he can't keep up with the reading material
It me. He can go away for good !
He parasited off me for everything yet would not give a drop of his energy to me. He came home and sat. I noticed while I was married to him for 20 yrs him and his super narcissist family that they’re always looking out and watching. They couldn’t be within themselves. Thank God that ugly marriage ended it was one way. He didn’t give anything in return I felt like I married me. I’m single and independent for life. My energy is mine now or for the people I love that return it not consume it like he did.
Narcissist need a "Push over"...and they do believe they can do that to just about anyone. Notice what they say to 'test' you. If you're a person that tries to give people the benefit of the doubt....they see that, and now they will prey on you.
In November I haven't been with him for 2 years.....I havent been with anyone else either. I don't even have thoughts like that anymore. However, eventhough he hurt me in every way a woman can be hurt- many times. Eventhough I took the psychopathy test for him and he's 100% a psychopath. I love him and I miss him everyday. I know I'm in love with the fake great guy I met an started dating in September of 2019. I know he never existed. But I don't know how to feel any other way. Wish I did.
100%
So its essential to resist your own impulses to reconnect.
They know the lie they constructed.
That's all they really care to know, that and boundaries, then they start pushing and pushing, covertly poking the bear so you lose your cool and look like the bad one.
As you stay home handling the business in the unseen, they are out there, telling people you don't do anything, looking like they do it all, while they're in the back ground, unseen to all, gaslighting, plotting, poking, draining you of all that is good.
I left him with half a million dollars company we established together.
He left me with TBI, neck injury, sciatica and a broken right foot, hurt so bad, literally from my head to my toes and look at the chakras in the internal human body and you see that damage as well. Like, that man knew exactly what he was doing.
😖
Nobody should want any kind of addiction.with the narcisist he made me addicted to him and when I realised what he was doing I stoped the addiction and now I a with him but without feeling adicted and so atached, so if I see him well and when I don't even grater because now I am "addicted" of spending alone time with God and me...😂😅❤. It is so much better...I still love Him but I love me more, and I am not so escared anymore about upseting him and I am more myself arround him than ever. When I was scared of losing him or him being unfaithfull is why everything went wrong and he disrespected me and cheated. He thought I was addicted enough to put up with everything without a fight.😅 Then the worrier in me came out and he realised I could deffend myself of predators and desloyal people with the right arguments...He knew I was right to be angry but did not want to recognise it. He was being so childish that I put him on the escale where he belonged...
Nah nah nah, no more.
This biggest issue I have with this whole concept is that this person would not have any power if it wasn’t for the Low self esteem of the partners. Sounds like these partner are “star struck”… or this Marc did something no one else did that made these delusional people feel so special because one else noticed them… the narc is given too much credit. The focus is never on the so called supply/ victim and the issues they have the make them so attracted to such a monster.
Not anymore!
👍
yeah if abusing weakness is a trait then every narcs has a phd on that.
But isn't that part of a loving relationship? I mean if that's a psychological condition or affliction, then what are we here for?
They are nuts
I can't stand the thought of them, never mind wanting to see them. So, the answer is No, you got it all wrong. Never. Ever.
I do not feel this way. I have no interest in any kind of interaction or connection with this person. It took me time to understand who he was. I do not talk to him and never will again. I dislike him and have no respect for him.
I thought it was called trauma bonding?
But the talk has to be face to face for some reason. I keep telling him we can talk about finances or visitations over the phone but he keeps wanting to come over for that talk
Hideous has levels
Dont give them a reaction
Not this time