The Empowered Wife has been a huge blessing for me. Taking the Skills and putting them under a biblical, Catholic framework really puts all the pieces together. Reject the law of attraction stuff but what you focus on DOES increase. Not because you cause it or manifest it but because you are training your brain to look for the good. Expecting the best of your spouse is much more encouraging and inspiring than nagging or criticizing ever will be. I encourage everyone to dive all in to the Skills, push the limits of your comfort zone. It may just change your life!
Facing challenges in relationships is part of the journey, but there’s always a way forward. My marriage encountered significant issues, but with the right help, my wife and I managed to overcome them and strengthen our relationship. Solutions are attainable if you’re willing to put in the work and collaborate. Keep your hope-solutions are out there.
I’m facing major problems in my relationship and can't imagine losing her. I love and miss her greatly and am prepared to do whatever is necessary to have her return. I’d be deeply grateful for any advice or guidance you can offer.
Moving away from someone you hold close is invariably tough, but in my particular situation, I was supported by a spiritual counselor who prevented the unraveling of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I appreciate this guidance. I'll quickly search for her online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that this approach will also bring me the results I desire; I miss her dearly
Her book & principles changed my marriage during a time where divorce seemed like an only option. I came across them after praying the “miraculous” rosary novena and fasting for 54 days. I’m convinced to this day that it was an answer to my prayers. The communication and mindset skills taught in her book, along with (most importantly) constant prayer helped change my husband’s heart (as well as mine!) and we now live a very peaceful family life. Praise God ❤ Edit: Just coming back to touch on an important point brought up by several commentators regarding the “law of attraction” -esque dialogue from the author in this interview. Obviously I consumed Laura Doyle’s content with a very discerning spirit as a Christian and made sure to only take with me what made sense within my doctrine (which, believe it or not, is still about 99% of what she teaches). To echo another comment on here, a lot of what she means by “manifesting” is actually just looking for the good in others and highlighting that, and therefore appealing to that positivity in others in a way that makes them more likely to continue showing up that way for you. It’s fair to say that Laura Doyle isn’t perfect and that new age-y type language has infiltrated even the most well-meaning of spaces. When in doubt, use common sense and ask the Holy Spirit to help guide you ❤
I think it is also over easy for us to read something in a different light. I have done her skills 2+ years and am so grateful, for the practical application. I don’t think she is new age at all! She’s more pro Marriage than some clergy today.💖
I really love that you both touched on the topic of doing something fun for ourselves as mommas. I am a 23 year old first time mom, with a sweet baby girl who just turned 1. I have done ballet my whole life since I was 5, and my husband has a baby and Papa night every Thursday night so I can go to my ballet classes from 8:20p.m. to 11:00p.m. every single week. It is so life giving to me, I always come back as a joy filled momma and wife! 💕🩰
Lila, I am happy you pushed back about someone who is hitting his wife. You are right that many murder victims think they can fix it and blame themselves for making him fly off the handle. Laura said in response there are two sides to the story. When woman is being hit, when children are endangered, the man's side of the story doesn't matter anymore.
Except, why is he hitting? Is it possible women are ONLY victims? There are a few of her interviews with women who were humble enough to admit they totally encouraged pushing their husband over the edge with disrespect. Men are NOT hairy women.
@AnnieODally-nu6lt usually because his dad did it, so it's normal for him. This is the simplest explanation. Not that he was provoked. It's very comforting to women who have had hard lives to think there is a magic formula for controlling the people around them so they will be safe and stop the abuse. This is what drives women particularly into occult type beliefs of law of attraction that Laura Doyle is talking about. She has good ideas but when applied to an extreme degree they are dangerous imo
Laura does not condone abuse at all and she explains that thoughtfully in her book. The reason she doesnt tell women what to do in these situations is because she has had many women in "abusive" situations fix their marriages using her principles. It is the woman's individual choice . Some women decide they want to try- obviously i believe if your children are being harmed that is the line.
After this episode I went on to listen to a few of Laura’s own podcast episodes. I really liked her perspective on the value of marriage and the role of a wife, but I was skeptical about her “cheat codes” and steps to take So, today I decided to try asking my husband to finish some electrical work he started months ago in our house. I’d tried over the past few months asking him to do so in the regular ways (either complaining, or “hey, can you finally get to finishing that electrical work, it really bothers me?”). So, I decided to rephrase it and say, very sweetly, “Honey, I’d love if you would finish the electrical in the laundry room”. To my surprise, minutes later he had his tool bag out and was finishing the work!!! I made sure to tell him how happy and appreciative I was. I’m just so shocked that he responded so well to the way Laura suggested. I haven’t tried any of her other suggestions, but my experience today has encouraged me to do so
Lila, thank you for pushing back there at the end. My grandmother stayed in a terribly abusive marriage for 25 years because she "had hope" it could work out. As a result, her 8 children (including my mother) have deep physical, mental, and even spiritual scars. I don't blame my grandma for her actions -- she thought she was doing what was best -- but I often wonder how my family would look if she would have had the "permission" to distance herself.
This was perfect timing for me, praise God. I got pregnant right after college graduation, and my boyfriend stepped up to take care of me. After 2 children, we married, but for many years we had great difficulties: immaturity, selfishness, etc. When our twins arrived, I was so overwhelmed with our 5 kids - It almost broke me when I thought our marriage was ending in 2017. Now 7 years later, we have come so far. My support group at church helped me learn and return to my faith and practice self-care. Just when I thought my marriage was getting better and better, my prayer partner and support group leader both told me they were filing for divorce! It really shook me, and I started to go back to my own past hurt, turmoil... but I felt like I shouldn't compare. Then someone shared this video, and it was like an answer to prayer! What a great encouragement and simple yet powerful advice/wisdom. I am thankful and feel like I've been given a toolkit for my marriage! ❤🙌
I have 5 sons, and this will help me in communicating with them, too! But what a powerful message for wives. I am definitely going to try these strategies. Thank you!
As men, it can feel entitled or arrogant to ask, "Can you speak/ask more gracefully?" But that's all we really want. We will do literally anything for a woman if we feel appreciated and respected for it.
I like a lot of what this author said, and what Lila added to it. I do think that both people in the marriage should have their needs and desires met wherever possible. That makes open, honest and Loving communication, complete with open-ended questions most necessary. If I could go to a beach and a volcano, even if it has to happen on different days, I'd Love it. God wants me showing my Love being completely in service to my elderly mom. Been doing that for almost twenty one months. Couples, be happy and thrilled to be Living your Lives with your beloved and family.
As a Certified Independent Laura Doyle Coach from Australia, I help women create lifetime love using The Six Intimacy Skills ™️. Thankyou Laura for training me in the appropriate use of these skills.
I just want to say it has been 11 days since I watched this podcast video. And I’ve already read the surrendered wife and I’m listening now to the empowered wife podcast and oh my goodness it has changed my marriage the tools and the tips. Laura speaks about. I can confirm they work in just a few days, I feel more connected to my husbandand I feel like we have a stronger foundation thank you so much!! ❤❤❤❤❤
I think these skills would be very useful in everyday life, in all of our relationships both personal and professional. Be ye transformed by the renewal of your mind. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Lila, Laura deserves this attention in what she’s done! She doesnt offer perfection by any means- but she offers a different perspective and a roadmap if you will, which unfortunately many Catholics and women scoff at and degrade other women for suggesting, especially in these marriage FB groups I have been in. In fact they ban members for suggesting her books. I think her perspective is worth considering, and it has helped shift my own mindset from “stinking thinking” as Matthew Kelly describes for his confirmation students 😂 thats the kind of thinking most women find themselves into and its been so bad for marriages and relationships. Of course lilas disclaimer on DV etc.. is very necessary and true.
Wanted to share this and happy she has saved so many marriages but it was hard to keep hearing her say manifest. I also felt she was holding Beyoncé as an idol still good points but it obvious she is here to make money and I’m happy it worked out for her. Blessings to you Lila 🙏✝️🕊️ still gave it them time but feel like the ways she spoke was not most people’s reality I don’t have any friends with a chef 🧑🍳 and I definitely can just ask for a kitchen and it show up. Sorry 😞 to be negative.
I agree - I also felt there was a lot of materialistism in her speech - I want this and that. Hearing she didn’t care about the volcano on a trip her husband took her on was sad- maybe giving him time to enjoy what he likes is worthwhile too.
I came across Surrendered Wife many years ago. Laura advocated for women to give all financial decisions including spending and budget to their husband's. The only reason we have savings now is because I made sure it happened. He's grateful for that now as well. He would never have done this on his own.
Yes, I think we all have our strengths and weaknesses that we bring to a marriage and some men lack discipline with money and are even happy to give their wives the responsibility because they see that they are strong with finances. I have always managed our finances. I discuss it with him but make most of the decisions. I'm a sahm with 2 children and manage on one income very well.
That's not pride, that's LOVE. She persevered because she loved him, she loved herself and to fight their marriage was the right thing for both of them❤
I loved this episode, thank you both, as It has revealed to me a few things I need to change, but also what I have been doing that's good. Great episode, thanks again! I went and bought Laura's book, both in audio and paperback formats on Amazon!
@@tazia6208explain to me with specific verses from the proverbs that shows "law of attraction" is Scriptural. 2) You do understand that misquoting or representing the scripture incorrectly is a grave sin?
I read her book awhile ago before I converted to Catholicism. It's good advice and was a good reminder for me, but if you are a Christian you absolutely MUST stay away from law of attraction philosophy she touches on here. Law of attraction has roots in Egyptian heremeticism. It is absolutely an occult practice. I say this as a person who practiced new age spirituality and the occult for years. It's bad news and will 100% lead you astray. If you have questions let me know and i will try to answer them about why it is problematic. I know a lot about this stuff.
Honest question: how are these tactics not manipulation? Lying to someone about their character for the purpose of getting a better result sounds ugly. Just seems to me that the ends don’t justify the means. Lying is not okay. It also seems to reinforce a fragile masculinity. I don’t want to be a wife that coerced her husband into virtue. He’s a MAN! He was created for sacrifice. He has what it takes.
Warmest welcome to Laura Doyle (you may not need a literal warmest welcome being in California, Lila, but being that you lovingly help make everyone feel warmly welcomed, I think you need at least figurative one =)! Just heard her bring up lovingly trusting a man will help with motivation to be the man of a woman's dreams! Thanks for teaching the ways of "Happy wife, happy life," Lila. I wasn't sure if that was just a saying I heard as a kid such as, "You know, when I was your age, I had to walk 10 miles to school carrying a horse on my back in tornado weather" or "If you tell me, I won't get mad at you," or "I'm only going to say this once," or "if you keep eating so many bananas, you're going to turn...." wait, that one was true...just kidding! I trust you, Lila! Your solo 4 Principles To Find ‘The One’ To Marry is in my top 5 favorite Lila Rose podcast episodes besides your Easter episode with Father Ambrose; the one with Arden Young talking what she was told to do in her child acting class and about her going undercover (thank you for making a separate segment of it recently!); and your "The Truth About Sexual Abuse and Prevention w/Michael Gasparro"..... Michael Gasparro is my favorite returning guest besides Father Ambrose, and I was so happy you teased that there would be a follow up episode! He was a guest similar to Jessica Rey in your Modesty Matters episode where I immediately liked them both. Both were awesome imo! Oh, and I didn't forget that I only listed for four favorite episodes...hey, just because I may look like Bart Simpson, I have more than four fingers so I can count with my full five fingers, but similar to you with that amazing Michael episode that I hope more people listen to, I'm leaving a teaser for a fifth slot just in case this new Laura Doyle episode could be my favorite! Praying to our Lord Jesus for happy wives, husbands, mothers, and fathers through the intercession of Saint Valentine (patron saint of love, young people, and marriage), Saint Thomas Moore (patron saint of difficult marriages, politicians, adopted children lawyers, civil servants, and difficult marriages), Saint Gerard Majella (patron saint of pregnant women, childbirth, children, mothers, falsely accused people, good confessions, lay brothers, and unborn children), and our Lord Jesus' foster father Saint Joseph (patron saint of fathers, the Universal Church, unborn children, a happy passing away, immigrants, workers, and travelers.) Thank you again, Lila! Hope you, your family, and everyone here is having a light-filled peaceful blessed December 3rd day of Advent full of comfort and joy!
Agree on the rare need for separation for safety, but they could continue to hope for & pursue reconciliation as long as neither remarries anyone else. No need for legal divorce, probably. Hosea is a great example of lifelong loyalty to a Prodigal spouse. We really benefit from learning to love like God, and like Hosea. It's a good example to the children & others what God's love is like. No one can deserve unlimited loyalty. It must be a free gift. The worse the spouse, the more obvious God's love & power to be loyal despite emotions. We can get to know God better by loving His way. It's important to tell the Prodigal spouse about this unlimited loyalty from God to us and though us. Many spouses are so disagreeable bcz they never heard of unlimited loyalty so they assume their spouse will just give up on them eventually. Romans 5 KJV, Ephesians 5 KJV, Hebrews 13:5 KJV
This method of how to get what you want from a husband seems like it's also exactly the method of how to pray to God and get what we want from Him too (and without seeing Him as a vending machine either).
A lot of her advice is helpful for women. But taken to the extreme, which she does in her books, it leads to tolerating any abuse, becoming a total doormat and leaving your children in harm's way. I can't get behind that.
It is accurate. I've read her books, listened to her podcasts, and taken a few courses. She encourages women not to call abuse by its name, all for the sake of avoiding divorce at all cost. Usually the monetary cost ends up in her own pocket.
@@elizabethrobinson5433 I have heard this thought in many Catholic circles that her work can be dangerous. Perhaps some marriages can be saved but it seems we need the clarity between abuse and a husband's annoyances
Maybe just not a good fit for you then because you are clearly misinterpreting, and that’s ok. Thousands of women have found healing, strengthened and restored their marriages through this work, breaking cycles of dysfunction in their own families and for future generations . The proof is in the pudding.
I saw some comments about manipulation. Manipulation often involves exploiting a person’s vulnerabilities. What she talks about here can be termed persuasion which is the ability to move someone to take a desired action. The positive term for manipulation is “contrivance.” Other terms are: influence, direction, shaping, and guiding. Contrivance respects the individual autonomy and the unique needs, preferences and goals of the person.
People should only get married and receive God‘s blessing when they have found God in themselves because a marriage without God no matter how much love there is will always fail and only bring darkness. When we grow spiritually as individuals and commit to God with the promise that we will never fail him, then we will never fail anyone else. For those who are already married, you can embark in the journey to live righteously and bring God into the marriage, obviously this takes both husband and wife, not one. Divorce is never the answer if you have Gods blessing. What God has united No man will divide. One thing is divorce and another is separation. It depends on the case, but separation is a good choice for the meantime, and holding on to prayer for that other partner to find God and be ready to engage in the unbreakable pact that was made between God and husband and wife. Ultimately the trick to marriage is don’t fail God and you won’t fail your partner.
At 50 minutes it Sounds like she doesn’t consider sacrificing for her husband, but has word salad for her own selfishness, we love providing, but where’s the line crossed?
I really like and prefer Fascinating womanhood UA-cam channel and books. I feel it’s less manipulative and self centered but lifts up marriage and the woman - a better fit for Christian’s
Why is the onus always on the wife? If the husband is not honoring his vows and treating her poorly, and even abusively, its unfair to keep putting this on the wife to fix. Usually, wives have done all they can until they break, while the husband is content to see her crumble as long as he can have his cake and eat it too. This hurts my heart... And it serves to enable his bad behavior. I tried these tactics and everything else possible, and all it did was make him pull his efforts back more and continue to deceive me
Hi Lila, is it possible to be feminine without engaging in vanity? What is vanity? How is it different from making yourself attractive for your spouse? Thanks.
I don’t really get why she kept saying this advice is so controversial. I mean it sounds like a way to better yourself and your marriage by extension and it sounds like it works for a lot of people.
it's so frustrating that it seems like it's always the wife who has to take the stand, that has to speak life back into the relationship, even if the downfall wasn't necessarily her fault.. like why do I have to be the strong one? the mature one? the one that puts in the effort? idk thats just how I feel about it sometimes
Marriage Helper is a great organization. Their membership doesn't cost much, and even their personal coaching sessions aren't that expensive. They have free UA-cam videos, as well.
What I got from this: Gaslight my husband into getting a better job so we can afford a chef and a pool. Go it Personally I would rather live the truth and reality of the relationship.
I was once this submissive wife..until my husband had enough and asked to give more my opinion because he also relies on me. So I am relearning back)) how to have balance with all of that.
I'm finding her advice very contradictory. On one hand you're supposed to say "whatever you think..." but then also supposed to tell him your desires? You're not supposed to compliment him back when he compliments you, but then you're supposed to affirm positive things about himself that are false? You're supposed to tell him what you would love to happen, but aren't supposed to inform him the details of how to make that happen? All the positive affirmation and manifestation talk is straight from the pits of Hell. This is disappointing.
Wonderful video!!!❤🙏🏻Goes back to trusting the Lord and believing God made this wonderful man we married, so we should believe in our men! One thing I always told myself before getting married was I wanted to resemble the loving wife in a movie. Not a chick-flic where all the movie is about her and we don't focus much on the man and what he is going through. Think of a movie where it is mainly about a man and in this movie, his character is facing many hard challenges. He would be called the hero of this story. If you notice, usually the most tender and beautiful and strength building parts is whenever he comes home and sees his wife. He knows she believes in him. He is truly welcomed with open arms at home with her. She isn't being mean and snarly. He sees her smile, and that touches his heart. She touches him and isn't afraid to kiss him first. She is gentle and kind when she speaks. Playful but not insulting while trying to be playful. Respecting him and his abilities and the challenges he is facing. She can help by very gently suggesting an idea, but understanding him when he says why that idea may not work. And not getting offended if he doesn't take her advice. I want my husband to think of me as his beautiful and sweet and kind wife who always is ministering to him by just being there with him in those moments. Wanting your husband to know you are on his side. Not against each other. That is the wife I want to be and try to be all my life with the Lord Jesus' Help.❤🙏🏻🕊
The last moment included asking the audience their opinion even though this is controversial - It's not surprising that this is controversial to a culture that is doing so poorly, right ?
Let me tell you that not all men are looking for the opportunity to be someone’s hero. They are lazy and don’t want to put effort into anything let alone someone.
I understand how you feel. I think many many men who are “lazy” have been really discouraged in this feminist world where they feel hated and hopeless at every turn so they lose that desire to provide and protect.
Her book is so stupid!!! I can’t come up with a better description than that simplistic word, it’s stupid!!!! I read it because a friend asked me to, I have been married 18 years, two kids, Christian. I would NEVER treat my husband in such an insulting manner as she describes!!! It’s not a marriage but a sham if this is what she actually does at home. Now I have an ongoing joke with my friend how I expect a divorce filling any day.
@@avarias0001 treating your husband like a toddler by being condescending. Her "Laundry" and "Driving / taking the wrong turn" anecdotes from Empowered Wife are great examples. Never ever does she show how to communicate a disagreement effectively to your spouse, you are just supposed to walk away and enjoy yourself, let him do whatever he wants whichever way he wants it.
In fact, she's preys on truly desperate women, asking them to pay for her courses and pay for more and more training. She promises it will pay for itself in time and encourages women to take out personal loans and charge their credit card for thousands of dollars. It's disgusting.
There are many free options to learn the steps, but what you’re talking about is 1-on-1 coaching, as well as coach training. I don’t know of any business that would offer services like that for free…
This podcast episode came right on time😩🫠. I was just drowning resentfulness and hating everything. But this conversation was helpful. I will be checking out her book for sure.
The Empowered Wife has been a huge blessing for me. Taking the Skills and putting them under a biblical, Catholic framework really puts all the pieces together. Reject the law of attraction stuff but what you focus on DOES increase. Not because you cause it or manifest it but because you are training your brain to look for the good. Expecting the best of your spouse is much more encouraging and inspiring than nagging or criticizing ever will be. I encourage everyone to dive all in to the Skills, push the limits of your comfort zone. It may just change your life!
Facing challenges in relationships is part of the journey, but there’s always a way forward. My marriage encountered significant issues, but with the right help, my wife and I managed to overcome them and strengthen our relationship. Solutions are attainable if you’re willing to put in the work and collaborate. Keep your hope-solutions are out there.
I’m facing major problems in my relationship and can't imagine losing her. I love and miss her greatly and am prepared to do whatever is necessary to have her return. I’d be deeply grateful for any advice or guidance you can offer.
Moving away from someone you hold close is invariably tough, but in my particular situation, I was supported by a spiritual counselor who prevented the unraveling of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I appreciate this guidance. I'll quickly search for her online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that this approach will also bring me the results I desire; I miss her dearly
I promise you will not regret it
@@BruceKnapp-n4qI highly suggest reading "For Men Only" great book to help better understand your wife! There's a "for women only" also.
Her book & principles changed my marriage during a time where divorce seemed like an only option. I came across them after praying the “miraculous” rosary novena and fasting for 54 days. I’m convinced to this day that it was an answer to my prayers. The communication and mindset skills taught in her book, along with (most importantly) constant prayer helped change my husband’s heart (as well as mine!) and we now live a very peaceful family life. Praise God ❤
Edit: Just coming back to touch on an important point brought up by several commentators regarding the “law of attraction” -esque dialogue from the author in this interview. Obviously I consumed Laura Doyle’s content with a very discerning spirit as a Christian and made sure to only take with me what made sense within my doctrine (which, believe it or not, is still about 99% of what she teaches). To echo another comment on here, a lot of what she means by “manifesting” is actually just looking for the good in others and highlighting that, and therefore appealing to that positivity in others in a way that makes them more likely to continue showing up that way for you. It’s fair to say that Laura Doyle isn’t perfect and that new age-y type language has infiltrated even the most well-meaning of spaces. When in doubt, use common sense and ask the Holy Spirit to help guide you ❤
Amen, prayer is the solution, praise God. 🙏🏼
I think it is also over easy for us to read something in a different light. I have done her skills 2+ years and am so grateful, for the practical application. I don’t think she is new age at all! She’s more pro Marriage than some clergy today.💖
I really love that you both touched on the topic of doing something fun for ourselves as mommas. I am a 23 year old first time mom, with a sweet baby girl who just turned 1. I have done ballet my whole life since I was 5, and my husband has a baby and Papa night every Thursday night so I can go to my ballet classes from 8:20p.m. to 11:00p.m. every single week. It is so life giving to me, I always come back as a joy filled momma and wife! 💕🩰
They have some great ballet apps out there as the mom of a ballerina .. you can also add a bar at home and get some more time in !
@@Kroh13My husband actually made me a barre for at home this past month! 🙌🏻❤
Thank you for sharing this! After I give birth to my second child this month, I am hoping to get some "me time" with ballet classes again!
Lila, I am happy you pushed back about someone who is hitting his wife. You are right that many murder victims think they can fix it and blame themselves for making him fly off the handle. Laura said in response there are two sides to the story. When woman is being hit, when children are endangered, the man's side of the story doesn't matter anymore.
Her book is garbage. The women praising it don’t know better.
Except, why is he hitting? Is it possible women are ONLY victims? There are a few of her interviews with women who were humble enough to admit they totally encouraged pushing their husband over the edge with disrespect.
Men are NOT hairy women.
@AnnieODally-nu6lt usually because his dad did it, so it's normal for him. This is the simplest explanation. Not that he was provoked.
It's very comforting to women who have had hard lives to think there is a magic formula for controlling the people around them so they will be safe and stop the abuse. This is what drives women particularly into occult type beliefs of law of attraction that Laura Doyle is talking about. She has good ideas but when applied to an extreme degree they are dangerous imo
Laura does not condone abuse at all and she explains that thoughtfully in her book. The reason she doesnt tell women what to do in these situations is because she has had many women in "abusive" situations fix their marriages using her principles.
It is the woman's individual choice . Some women decide they want to try- obviously i believe if your children are being harmed that is the line.
After this episode I went on to listen to a few of Laura’s own podcast episodes. I really liked her perspective on the value of marriage and the role of a wife, but I was skeptical about her “cheat codes” and steps to take
So, today I decided to try asking my husband to finish some electrical work he started months ago in our house. I’d tried over the past few months asking him to do so in the regular ways (either complaining, or “hey, can you finally get to finishing that electrical work, it really bothers me?”). So, I decided to rephrase it and say, very sweetly, “Honey, I’d love if you would finish the electrical in the laundry room”. To my surprise, minutes later he had his tool bag out and was finishing the work!!! I made sure to tell him how happy and appreciative I was. I’m just so shocked that he responded so well to the way Laura suggested. I haven’t tried any of her other suggestions, but my experience today has encouraged me to do so
I read her book once 23 years ago and still think about her principles. So nice to be reminded of her work through you Lila. Thanks.
Lila, thank you for pushing back there at the end. My grandmother stayed in a terribly abusive marriage for 25 years because she "had hope" it could work out. As a result, her 8 children (including my mother) have deep physical, mental, and even spiritual scars. I don't blame my grandma for her actions -- she thought she was doing what was best -- but I often wonder how my family would look if she would have had the "permission" to distance herself.
Omg!!!! I’ve been giving out her books for YEARS! I’m so excited to watch this today ❤
Thank you for tuning in! -LR Team
Her book was such an incredible blessing to me.
I seriously loved this. I definitely need this not only for my husband but my young children.
This was perfect timing for me, praise God. I got pregnant right after college graduation, and my boyfriend stepped up to take care of me. After 2 children, we married, but for many years we had great difficulties: immaturity, selfishness, etc. When our twins arrived, I was so overwhelmed with our 5 kids - It almost broke me when I thought our marriage was ending in 2017.
Now 7 years later, we have come so far. My support group at church helped me learn and return to my faith and practice self-care. Just when I thought my marriage was getting better and better, my prayer partner and support group leader both told me they were filing for divorce! It really shook me, and I started to go back to my own past hurt, turmoil... but I felt like I shouldn't compare. Then someone shared this video, and it was like an answer to prayer! What a great encouragement and simple yet powerful advice/wisdom. I am thankful and feel like I've been given a toolkit for my marriage! ❤🙌
Laura Doyle is a world changer❤❤❤
I have 5 sons, and this will help me in communicating with them, too! But what a powerful message for wives. I am definitely going to try these strategies. Thank you!
This woman saved my marriage
Wow! How amazing.
Amazing
I read all her books and have helped me a lot… especially just showing gratitude to my hubby.
As men, it can feel entitled or arrogant to ask, "Can you speak/ask more gracefully?" But that's all we really want. We will do literally anything for a woman if we feel appreciated and respected for it.
I like a lot of what this author said, and what Lila added to it. I do think that both people in the marriage should have their needs and desires met wherever possible. That makes open, honest and Loving communication, complete with open-ended questions most necessary. If I could go to a beach and a volcano, even if it has to happen on different days, I'd Love it. God wants me showing my Love being completely in service to my elderly mom. Been doing that for almost twenty one months. Couples, be happy and thrilled to be Living your Lives with your beloved and family.
Love The Empowered Wife podcast. I share it in my Catholic women Facebook groups when needed 😊❤
As a Certified Independent Laura Doyle Coach from Australia, I help women create lifetime love using The Six Intimacy Skills ™️. Thankyou Laura for training me in the appropriate use of these skills.
I’m 23 newly married and giving birth to a baby boy in march! This video is really helpful to me even in a fairly newer marriage ❤️
I just want to say it has been 11 days since I watched this podcast video. And I’ve already read the surrendered wife and I’m listening now to the empowered wife podcast and oh my goodness it has changed my marriage the tools and the tips. Laura speaks about. I can confirm they work in just a few days, I feel more connected to my husbandand I feel like we have a stronger foundation thank you so much!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Amazing. So happy to hear!
This is amazing!!! Thank you!! I'm taking lots of notes!!! We really need this for our marriage 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️
I’m listening fine until i hear “Beyoncé is one of my heroes”. I lost respect after that lol.
I think these skills would be very useful in everyday life, in all of our relationships both personal and professional.
Be ye transformed by the renewal of your mind. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Lila, Laura deserves this attention in what she’s done! She doesnt offer perfection by any means- but she offers a different perspective and a roadmap if you will, which unfortunately many Catholics and women scoff at and degrade other women for suggesting, especially in these marriage FB groups I have been in. In fact they ban members for suggesting her books. I think her perspective is worth considering, and it has helped shift my own mindset from “stinking thinking” as Matthew Kelly describes for his confirmation students 😂 thats the kind of thinking most women find themselves into and its been so bad for marriages and relationships. Of course lilas disclaimer on DV etc.. is very necessary and true.
Wanted to share this and happy she has saved so many marriages but it was hard to keep hearing her say manifest. I also felt she was holding Beyoncé as an idol still good points but it obvious she is here to make money and I’m happy it worked out for her. Blessings to you Lila 🙏✝️🕊️ still gave it them time but feel like the ways she spoke was not most people’s reality I don’t have any friends with a chef 🧑🍳 and I definitely can just ask for a kitchen and it show up. Sorry 😞 to be negative.
I fully agree
I agree - I also felt there was a lot of materialistism in her speech - I want this and that. Hearing she didn’t care about the volcano on a trip her husband took her on was sad- maybe giving him time to enjoy what he likes is worthwhile too.
I gave up on “Beyoncé is one of my role models” 😞
@@slopesmonte i hear you! ☺️
@@MargaretQ I agree 💯
The "ouch" response has been very effective in my relationships.
Learned it from my therapist years ago.
I came across Surrendered Wife many years ago. Laura advocated for women to give all financial decisions including spending and budget to their husband's. The only reason we have savings now is because I made sure it happened. He's grateful for that now as well. He would never have done this on his own.
Yes, I think we all have our strengths and weaknesses that we bring to a marriage and some men lack discipline with money and are even happy to give their wives the responsibility because they see that they are strong with finances. I have always managed our finances. I discuss it with him but make most of the decisions. I'm a sahm with 2 children and manage on one income very well.
That's not pride, that's LOVE. She persevered because she loved him, she loved herself and to fight their marriage was the right thing for both of them❤
Yay I'm so excited!!!! I've been wanting you to interview her! You just made my day :)
I loved this episode, thank you both, as It has revealed to me a few things I need to change, but also what I have been doing that's good. Great episode, thanks again!
I went and bought Laura's book, both in audio and paperback formats on Amazon!
I'm hearing a lot of law of attraction here. I gotta ask God and Jesus about this.
Long story short - it's definitely not biblical.
I really enjoyed this interview. I definitely think many of her tools can be used, but some of the manifestation talk made me nervous.
Just practice kindness, encouragement, forgiveness and place all your trust in Jesus, regardless of the outcome. It’s like charity.
@@QuarentynSingsit actually is. Look up proverbs. Most of proverbs is about wisdom, and the benefits of being open to wisdom versus the opposite.
@@tazia6208explain to me with specific verses from the proverbs that shows "law of attraction" is Scriptural. 2) You do understand that misquoting or representing the scripture incorrectly is a grave sin?
I read her book awhile ago before I converted to Catholicism. It's good advice and was a good reminder for me, but if you are a Christian you absolutely MUST stay away from law of attraction philosophy she touches on here. Law of attraction has roots in Egyptian heremeticism. It is absolutely an occult practice. I say this as a person who practiced new age spirituality and the occult for years. It's bad news and will 100% lead you astray. If you have questions let me know and i will try to answer them about why it is problematic. I know a lot about this stuff.
Thank you, that’s helpful!
Honest question: how are these tactics not manipulation? Lying to someone about their character for the purpose of getting a better result sounds ugly. Just seems to me that the ends don’t justify the means. Lying is not okay. It also seems to reinforce a fragile masculinity. I don’t want to be a wife that coerced her husband into virtue. He’s a MAN! He was created for sacrifice. He has what it takes.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things
@@8littlebunniesI don’t know what you mean
Great episode. Lila, your skin is radiant! I would be so interested in skin care/makeup video.
Warmest welcome to Laura Doyle (you may not need a literal warmest welcome being in California, Lila, but being that you lovingly help make everyone feel warmly welcomed, I think you need at least figurative one =)! Just heard her bring up lovingly trusting a man will help with motivation to be the man of a woman's dreams! Thanks for teaching the ways of "Happy wife, happy life," Lila. I wasn't sure if that was just a saying I heard as a kid such as, "You know, when I was your age, I had to walk 10 miles to school carrying a horse on my back in tornado weather" or "If you tell me, I won't get mad at you," or "I'm only going to say this once," or "if you keep eating so many bananas, you're going to turn...." wait, that one was true...just kidding!
I trust you, Lila! Your solo 4 Principles To Find ‘The One’ To Marry is in my top 5 favorite Lila Rose podcast episodes besides your Easter episode with Father Ambrose; the one with Arden Young talking what she was told to do in her child acting class and about her going undercover (thank you for making a separate segment of it recently!); and your "The Truth About Sexual Abuse and Prevention w/Michael Gasparro".....
Michael Gasparro is my favorite returning guest besides Father Ambrose, and I was so happy you teased that there would be a follow up episode! He was a guest similar to Jessica Rey in your Modesty Matters episode where I immediately liked them both. Both were awesome imo!
Oh, and I didn't forget that I only listed for four favorite episodes...hey, just because I may look like Bart Simpson, I have more than four fingers so I can count with my full five fingers, but similar to you with that amazing Michael episode that I hope more people listen to, I'm leaving a teaser for a fifth slot just in case this new Laura Doyle episode could be my favorite!
Praying to our Lord Jesus for happy wives, husbands, mothers, and fathers through the intercession of Saint Valentine (patron saint of love, young people, and marriage), Saint Thomas Moore (patron saint of difficult marriages, politicians, adopted children lawyers, civil servants, and difficult marriages), Saint Gerard Majella (patron saint of pregnant women, childbirth, children, mothers, falsely accused people, good confessions, lay brothers, and unborn children), and our Lord Jesus' foster father Saint Joseph (patron saint of fathers, the Universal Church, unborn children, a happy passing away, immigrants, workers, and travelers.)
Thank you again, Lila! Hope you, your family, and everyone here is having a light-filled peaceful blessed December 3rd day of Advent full of comfort and joy!
Does Laura have children and is she Christian?
Agree on the rare need for separation for safety, but they could continue to hope for & pursue reconciliation as long as neither remarries anyone else. No need for legal divorce, probably. Hosea is a great example of lifelong loyalty to a Prodigal spouse. We really benefit from learning to love like God, and like Hosea. It's a good example to the children & others what God's love is like. No one can deserve unlimited loyalty. It must be a free gift. The worse the spouse, the more obvious God's love & power to be loyal despite emotions. We can get to know God better by loving His way. It's important to tell the Prodigal spouse about this unlimited loyalty from God to us and though us. Many spouses are so disagreeable bcz they never heard of unlimited loyalty so they assume their spouse will just give up on them eventually. Romans 5 KJV, Ephesians 5 KJV, Hebrews 13:5 KJV
This method of how to get what you want from a husband seems like it's also exactly the method of how to pray to God and get what we want from Him too (and without seeing Him as a vending machine either).
A lot of her advice is helpful for women. But taken to the extreme, which she does in her books, it leads to tolerating any abuse, becoming a total doormat and leaving your children in harm's way. I can't get behind that.
This is not accurate.
It is accurate. I've read her books, listened to her podcasts, and taken a few courses. She encourages women not to call abuse by its name, all for the sake of avoiding divorce at all cost. Usually the monetary cost ends up in her own pocket.
Besides, do you really want to manipulate your husband into loving you? Because that's what she teaches. It's BS
@@elizabethrobinson5433 I have heard this thought in many Catholic circles that her work can be dangerous. Perhaps some marriages can be saved but it seems we need the clarity between abuse and a husband's annoyances
Maybe just not a good fit for you then because you are clearly misinterpreting, and that’s ok. Thousands of women have found healing, strengthened and restored their marriages through this work, breaking cycles of dysfunction in their own families and for future generations . The proof is in the pudding.
I saw some comments about manipulation. Manipulation often involves exploiting a person’s vulnerabilities. What she talks about here can be termed persuasion which is the ability to move someone to take a desired action.
The positive term for manipulation is “contrivance.” Other terms are: influence, direction, shaping, and guiding.
Contrivance respects the individual autonomy and the unique needs, preferences and goals of the person.
People should only get married and receive God‘s blessing when they have found God in themselves because a marriage without God no matter how much love there is will always fail and only bring darkness. When we grow spiritually as individuals and commit to God with the promise that we will never fail him, then we will never fail anyone else. For those who are already married, you can embark in the journey to live righteously and bring God into the marriage, obviously this takes both husband and wife, not one. Divorce is never the answer if you have Gods blessing. What God has united No man will divide. One thing is divorce and another is separation. It depends on the case, but separation is a good choice for the meantime, and holding on to prayer for that other partner to find God and be ready to engage in the unbreakable pact that was made between God and husband and wife. Ultimately the trick to marriage is don’t fail God and you won’t fail your partner.
At 50 minutes it Sounds like she doesn’t consider sacrificing for her husband, but has word salad for her own selfishness, we love providing, but where’s the line crossed?
I was thinking this exactly - forget what he wants because he only wants what she wants - seems insane
Great video!
I really like and prefer Fascinating womanhood UA-cam channel and books. I feel it’s less manipulative and self centered but lifts up marriage and the woman - a better fit for Christian’s
Why is the onus always on the wife? If the husband is not honoring his vows and treating her poorly, and even abusively, its unfair to keep putting this on the wife to fix. Usually, wives have done all they can until they break, while the husband is content to see her crumble as long as he can have his cake and eat it too. This hurts my heart... And it serves to enable his bad behavior. I tried these tactics and everything else possible, and all it did was make him pull his efforts back more and continue to deceive me
Hi Lila, is it possible to be feminine without engaging in vanity? What is vanity? How is it different from making yourself attractive for your spouse? Thanks.
I don’t really get why she kept saying this advice is so controversial. I mean it sounds like a way to better yourself and your marriage by extension and it sounds like it works for a lot of people.
it's so frustrating that it seems like it's always the wife who has to take the stand, that has to speak life back into the relationship, even if the downfall wasn't necessarily her fault.. like why do I have to be the strong one? the mature one? the one that puts in the effort? idk thats just how I feel about it sometimes
Love her books, although her coarses are very expensive.
Marriage Helper is a great organization. Their membership doesn't cost much, and even their personal coaching sessions aren't that expensive. They have free UA-cam videos, as well.
Omg! Id I remember correctly it was like $15k!!!!
Love Laura Doyle.
Whats the difference between her two books the empowered wife vs the surrendered wife? Im not sure where to start!
I have both books and prefer the Empowered Wife. It's essentially the same lessons but the EW is better written and has a better structure to it.
@user-jm5jt9ud4p thank you!
Man here. Great Podcast. I don't see why couldnt use the "I'd love for you..." - technique. I don't see why it wouldn't work on a woman as well.
Bettina Arndt has some pretty good advice as well.
What I got from this:
Gaslight my husband into getting a better job so we can afford a chef and a pool. Go it
Personally I would rather live the truth and reality of the relationship.
I was once this submissive wife..until my husband had enough and asked to give more my opinion because he also relies on me. So I am relearning back)) how to have balance with all of that.
Laura is looking radiant and lovely.
I'm finding her advice very contradictory. On one hand you're supposed to say "whatever you think..." but then also supposed to tell him your desires?
You're not supposed to compliment him back when he compliments you, but then you're supposed to affirm positive things about himself that are false?
You're supposed to tell him what you would love to happen, but aren't supposed to inform him the details of how to make that happen?
All the positive affirmation and manifestation talk is straight from the pits of Hell. This is disappointing.
first half of the podcast was amazing
second half got very weird
Wonderful video!!!❤🙏🏻Goes back to trusting the Lord and believing God made this wonderful man we married, so we should believe in our men! One thing I always told myself before getting married was I wanted to resemble the loving wife in a movie. Not a chick-flic where all the movie is about her and we don't focus much on the man and what he is going through. Think of a movie where it is mainly about a man and in this movie, his character is facing many hard challenges. He would be called the hero of this story. If you notice, usually the most tender and beautiful and strength building parts is whenever he comes home and sees his wife. He knows she believes in him. He is truly welcomed with open arms at home with her. She isn't being mean and snarly. He sees her smile, and that touches his heart. She touches him and isn't afraid to kiss him first. She is gentle and kind when she speaks. Playful but not insulting while trying to be playful. Respecting him and his abilities and the challenges he is facing. She can help by very gently suggesting an idea, but understanding him when he says why that idea may not work. And not getting offended if he doesn't take her advice. I want my husband to think of me as his beautiful and sweet and kind wife who always is ministering to him by just being there with him in those moments. Wanting your husband to know you are on his side. Not against each other. That is the wife I want to be and try to be all my life with the Lord Jesus' Help.❤🙏🏻🕊
The last moment included asking the audience their opinion even though this is controversial - It's not surprising that this is controversial to a culture that is doing so poorly, right ?
Is this the same Laura Doyle that thanked Margaret Sanger for winning womens freedom in her book?
51:35 Really? Not so sure this is my experience, at least…
❤🙏🏿🥰
Worst advice ever.
Let me tell you that not all men are looking for the opportunity to be someone’s hero. They are lazy and don’t want to put effort into anything let alone someone.
I understand how you feel. I think many many men who are “lazy” have been really discouraged in this feminist world where they feel hated and hopeless at every turn so they lose that desire to provide and protect.
Her book is so stupid!!! I can’t come up with a better description than that simplistic word, it’s stupid!!!! I read it because a friend asked me to, I have been married 18 years, two kids, Christian. I would NEVER treat my husband in such an insulting manner as she describes!!! It’s not a marriage but a sham if this is what she actually does at home. Now I have an ongoing joke with my friend how I expect a divorce filling any day.
Curious what you consider insulting ?
@@avarias0001 treating your husband like a toddler by being condescending. Her "Laundry" and "Driving / taking the wrong turn" anecdotes from Empowered Wife are great examples. Never ever does she show how to communicate a disagreement effectively to your spouse, you are just supposed to walk away and enjoy yourself, let him do whatever he wants whichever way he wants it.
napot
In fact, she's preys on truly desperate women, asking them to pay for her courses and pay for more and more training. She promises it will pay for itself in time and encourages women to take out personal loans and charge their credit card for thousands of dollars. It's disgusting.
There are many free options to learn the steps, but what you’re talking about is 1-on-1 coaching, as well as coach training. I don’t know of any business that would offer services like that for free…
This podcast episode came right on time😩🫠. I was just drowning resentfulness and hating everything. But this conversation was helpful. I will be checking out her book for sure.