If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device Special 1: 𝐊𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞

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  • Опубліковано 13 січ 2016
  • For the record, this takes place before the events of Episode 20.
    Just a tidbit for the chronologers over there at TvTropes.
    ThunderPsyker as the Custodes
    / thunderpsyker
    Tim Scott as Karstodes
    / timlikespies
    Captain Princess as Custodesi
    / thelemongrenade
    Alfabusa as Wamuudes
    ___
    My PayPal Donations Page:
    www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr...
    My Patreon:
    / alfabusa
    My SoundCloud:
    / alfabusa
    My Facebook:
    / alfabusa
    My Twitter:
    / alfabusa
    ___
    This video is completely unofficial and is in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. Adeptus Astartes, Blood Angels, Bloodquest, Cadian, Catachan, the Chaos devices, Cityfight, the Chaos logo, Citadel, Citadel Device, Codex, Daemonhunters, Dark Angels, Dark Eldar, 'Eavy Metal, Eldar, Eldar symbol devices, Eye of Terror, Fire Warrior, Forge World, Games Workshop, Games Workshop logo, Genestealer, Golden Demon, Gorkamorka, Great Unclean One, Inquisitor, the Inquisitor logo, the Inquisitor device, Inquisitor:Conspiracies, Keeper of Secrets, Khorne, Kroot, Lord of Change, Necron, Nurgle, Ork, Ork skull devices, Sisters of Battle, Slaanesh, Space Hulk, Space Marine, Space Marine chapters, Space Marine chapter logos, Tau, the Tau caste designations, Tyranid, Tyrannid, Tzeentch, Ultramarines, Warhammer, Warhammer 40k Device, White Dwarf, the White Dwarf logo, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer 40,000 universe are either ®, TM and/or © Copyright Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2012, variably registered in the UK and other countries around the world. Used without permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners.
  • Розваги

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,8 тис.

  • @461Dragonman
    @461Dragonman 8 років тому +1948

    I was honestly expecting the Custodes to ask what the five cards in his hand meant, revealing Exodia and instantly winning the game.

    • @alfabusa
      @alfabusa  8 років тому +745

      +Anthony Gutierrez Alright I admit that would've been pretty perfect.
      Unfortunately, Exodia is not a cat.

    • @461Dragonman
      @461Dragonman 8 років тому +213

      +Bruva Alfabusa
      Right, because Kitten.
      But now I wonder how a mere Guardsman such as myself managed to be noticed by someone of the mighty Alpha Legion.

    • @emoteen011
      @emoteen011 8 років тому +52

      +Bruva Alfabusa that is also true i was like the emperor said pathetic card and i expected my deck doesn't have any pathetic cards but it does have the unstoppable exodia

    • @Sigismund697
      @Sigismund697 8 років тому +1

      +Anthony Gutierrez look at this plebian

    • @461Dragonman
      @461Dragonman 8 років тому +43

      +apocaly21
      I'm only shocked because ever since the Navigator went totally Ork-shit insane after locating the Astronomican, he's been shouting, to quote, "Sunshine Sunshine, Ladybugs awake! Clap your 'hooves' and 'do a little shake'" whilst Power-Fisting himself, and we haven't been able to get a message out since he locked himself in the bridge.

  • @richardvlasek2445
    @richardvlasek2445 8 років тому +6290

    I just realized how utterly ridiculous this entire video was. One of the best soldiers in the entire galaxy, battle-hardened and with absolutely perfect DNA is playing fucking Yu-Gi-Oh with a dying god on life support.
    10/10 would Alfabusa again

    • @pierat3338
      @pierat3338 6 років тому +328

      Richard Vlášek apart from he's sterile, also he's not a god emperor, he's our glorious man-emperor of mankind

    • @hvymtal8566
      @hvymtal8566 5 років тому +226

      PRAISE BE TO THE MAN-EMPEROR OF MANKIND

    • @TheZero092
      @TheZero092 5 років тому +17

      Richard Vlášek plus let's not forget everything is killing one another all around the galaxy.

    • @zerlichr426
      @zerlichr426 5 років тому +52

      Isn't this like every Yu-gi-oh episode ever. People that have money and much easier methods of resolving their problems, do that by playing childers card game

    • @dionjaywoollaston1349
      @dionjaywoollaston1349 5 років тому +31

      Zerlich R that’s because the people who can say “screw the rules I have money” are such massive egomaniacs that they can’t resist a challenge no matter how trivial, plus it’s clear that in their universe dual monsters is on the same popularity level as sports like Soccer or more accurately video games

  • @steingrenadier5511
    @steingrenadier5511 7 років тому +3753

    "Who else plays this game?"
    "Tzeentch does"
    >>3 months later>>
    Kitten fights Tzeentch

    • @surimonizarro9791
      @surimonizarro9791 3 роки тому +297

      I'm starting to think that this was just the Emperor testing Kitten to see if he would be able to defend Magnus later against Tzeench and also to show him the way of the game.

    • @RasoKye
      @RasoKye 3 роки тому +192

      @@surimonizarro9791
      It's. all. Going. According. To. Plan.

    • @evilgelatin3538
      @evilgelatin3538 3 роки тому +22

      9:05

    • @AsbestosMuffins
      @AsbestosMuffins 3 роки тому +12

      @@RasoKye or not....who knows...

    • @MajinOthinus
      @MajinOthinus 3 роки тому +7

      @@AsbestosMuffins Maybe this is my next movie......

  • @demolitionnicholas689
    @demolitionnicholas689 4 роки тому +5117

    Kitten: *places a simple bug on the defense*
    The Emperor: *MAKES SANGUINIUS AND THE IMPERIAL PALACE*

    • @LupusDei777
      @LupusDei777 3 роки тому +313

      I'm still wondering why he didn't activate Man Eater Bug's effect after it was attacked.

    • @boogiepopphantom3778
      @boogiepopphantom3778 3 роки тому +41

      DESTINY!

    • @sardauk3038
      @sardauk3038 3 роки тому +219

      @@LupusDei777 one of the equipement card madee sanguinus indestructible

    • @Croacker1
      @Croacker1 3 роки тому +97

      I don't think that's Sanguinius, its the angel of terra the emperors first son who was the prototype of the Primarchs. Its believed he fell to mutation or some form of corruption and was sealed away by the emperor after they unified Terra.

    • @rayhankazianga6817
      @rayhankazianga6817 3 роки тому +72

      @@Croacker1 Yes, but given TTS canon it's probably Sanguinius

  • @Garner465
    @Garner465 8 років тому +6695

    "Your deck has already been assembled based upon neural activity in your cerebrum, as well as total typecasting."
    So, it probably shouldn't be surprising that Kitten's deck is perfectly designed to counter the Emperor's munchkinry through simple methods.

    • @HubiKoshi
      @HubiKoshi 5 років тому +778

      Kitten is The Ultimate Butler and we all know that no Master stands a chance against their Butler.

    • @connormclernon26
      @connormclernon26 5 років тому +439

      StoneBasilisk kItten’s deck is based around how humans are individually weak but grouped together we can do incredible things.

    • @magoswes3588
      @magoswes3588 5 років тому +313

      It could also be based on animals, especially cats since he is KITTEN

    • @Sorakeyblademaster37
      @Sorakeyblademaster37 5 років тому +301

      Emps really played himself this time...unless he WANTED that to happen, since Kitten is apparently the greatest Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker player in the galaxy. The Emperor does need someone who can beat Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver.

    • @gavzillagallegos4370
      @gavzillagallegos4370 5 років тому +95

      Don't forget the fat guy with the cigar.

  • @nonzerodivisor
    @nonzerodivisor 8 років тому +3036

    "tzeeench does"
    I lost it

    • @thatonenightsentinel2328
      @thatonenightsentinel2328 5 років тому +45

      soupisdelicious
      (Long gasp) the heresy it burns!

    • @philiproe1661
      @philiproe1661 4 роки тому +89

      Supposedly, Cegorach and the Deceiver do too.

    • @AzraelMight
      @AzraelMight 4 роки тому +45

      This makes too much sense for something that involves tzeeeench

    • @InternetEntity
      @InternetEntity 4 роки тому +84

      Creed used to, before The Emperor banned him.
      Somehow managed to hide a Titan Legion in his deck.

    • @philiproe1661
      @philiproe1661 4 роки тому +16

      @@InternetEntity
      I hope we see Creed though. Maybe duel Eldrad.

  • @randomnerd4211
    @randomnerd4211 6 років тому +3611

    "Tzeentch is a nerd"
    most accurate description of Tzeentch

    • @Tonatsi
      @Tonatsi 4 роки тому +37

      Garrett Mottley foreshadowing :)

    • @michelveilleux1275
      @michelveilleux1275 2 роки тому +51

      Tzeentch: *ugly cries*
      Also Tzeentch: "All according to plan."

    • @tipsandhelp324
      @tipsandhelp324 2 роки тому +23

      @@michelveilleux1275 no-one bullies Tzeench as well as Tzeench.

    • @jonathanathor117
      @jonathanathor117 2 роки тому +10

      He's also a redditor who discovered atheism.

    • @DomMiquisticoII
      @DomMiquisticoII Рік тому

      It's a nerd with Joker syndrome

  • @nathanielcatan6657
    @nathanielcatan6657 4 роки тому +932

    "And I summon Wind-up Kitten, and he goes into attack mode and uses. Wind-up cat attack"
    *Instantly wins the game against the Galaxy's most powerful Psyker*

    • @RayMKlll
      @RayMKlll Рік тому +30

      *HUMILIATION!*

    • @mr.m.t.j.m6003
      @mr.m.t.j.m6003 11 місяців тому +1

      @@RayMKlll😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 beautiful 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @domvasta
      @domvasta 6 місяців тому +3

      That's what happens when you pay all your lifepoints and don't guarantee yourself a first turn kill

  • @ProfessorVuubik
    @ProfessorVuubik 8 років тому +4774

    Fun fact: In the Japanese version, there is no heart of the cards!
    They straight up cheat via sleight of hand.

    • @Gregory-the-small
      @Gregory-the-small 5 років тому +176

      Vuubik no fking way for real??!😭

    • @RyanEX2000
      @RyanEX2000 5 років тому +616

      @@Gregory-the-small Well they don't cheat, it's the usual plot armor luck. But yeah, there's no heart of the cards or friendship shall overcome all BS that the dubbed version foisted on people.
      Though to be fair the dubbed voices of most of the characters aren't too bad. But the Japanese voices for characters like Marik, Kaiba and Yami are definetly superior.

    • @doibantikov2486
      @doibantikov2486 5 років тому +34

      Exquise me?

    • @adriannaranjo4397
      @adriannaranjo4397 5 років тому +80

      *Top decking

    • @KaleidosXXI
      @KaleidosXXI 5 років тому +394

      @@RyanEX2000 Atem does objectively cheat, it's the only power the Millennium Puzzle actually has that's not inherent to every other Millennium Item. Specifically it increases the wielder's luck, skill, and strategic knowledge pertaining to any game they play to supernatural levels, within the series it's shown to have let Atem rearrange his deck's shuffled composition, influence opponents to 'choose incorrectly' when choosing between multiple unknown targets, force ideal dice roll results, and allow Atem to play numerous games he's never played or heard of before at the highest skill level, among many other things.
      And while not named the same thing, the general concept of the Heart of the Cards does exist in the original version (including the first episode of DM) and is referred to throughout the franchise under various different wording (soul of the duelist, believing in your cards, being rewarded by your deck for the feelings you put into constructing it, etc) and is uniformly referred to as Destiny Drawing in most alternative media and products. It's even lampshaded in both DM and GX through dialogue acknowledging that their respective protagonists are somehow able to consistently use their signature monsters even though they only own one copy of them.

  • @MrPossessed
    @MrPossessed 8 років тому +4547

    "You must believe in the heart of the cards!"
    "Cards don't need to circulate blood."
    ....Dorn, is that you? When did you get ahold of Kitten's armor?

    • @user-gu7yo5yn9g
      @user-gu7yo5yn9g 5 років тому +55

      Kevin Boggs I read that in his voice

    • @lordclangtheintolorable2094
      @lordclangtheintolorable2094 5 років тому +173

      He would say it more like . . .
      "Cards do not circulate blood as they are not alive"

    • @xXFuzzeeXx
      @xXFuzzeeXx 4 роки тому +129

      @@lordclangtheintolorable2094 "Cards lack a cardiovasculatory system. A heart would be redundant. It would also stain the card with blood."

    • @Outlaw7263
      @Outlaw7263 4 роки тому +62

      The God Emperor of Mankind vs Perfect Cell
      Emperor: what the fuck do you mean I cant resurrect my minion?
      Cell: it says right HERE in the rule book your tech priest bonked me in the head with "Monster reborn has been tournament illegal since the year 2001 on the 2nd millennium." It's been on and off a few times but it's currently forbidden.
      Emperor: fine, I use grinning jar
      Cell: pot of greed, banned since 2005
      Emperor: Chaos Emperor Dragon - Envoy of the end
      Cell: banned, 2010
      Emperor: alright then I summon the golden emperor dragon
      Cell: oh come on all God cards are illegal
      Emperor: fuck you
      Cell: also it's 40,000 life points now not 8, I have no idea where you got that from.
      Emperor:.......get the fuck out of my throne room you bipedal guacamole lookin ass cockroach
      Cell: fine, I have better things to do anyway

    • @Phelan666
      @Phelan666 4 роки тому +13

      Rogal Dorn does not use contractions. Your suspicion is misplaced and ill-informed.

  • @michelveilleux1275
    @michelveilleux1275 2 роки тому +399

    My god, I can see it now
    Tzeentch: "How can you stop the Unstoppable Exodia!"
    Big E: "True, no one has ever defeated Exodia, but in order to save my son's soul, I'll be the first."

    • @lolbots686
      @lolbots686 2 роки тому +22

      tzeench:hahahahah try it!
      big e:easy. giant trunade,ash blossom and mystical space typhoon.
      tzeench:ah...ah...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    • @langleysenterprise5134
      @langleysenterprise5134 Рік тому +15

      I came from future. It's kitten who fights tzeentch for Magnus' soul

    • @mariofan1ish
      @mariofan1ish 8 місяців тому +2

      Tzeentch is the kind of guy that would run the 5 pieces of Exodia and the rest of his deck is Pot of Greed.

    • @Shadethewolfy
      @Shadethewolfy 8 місяців тому +2

      ... gonna just go out on a limb and Tzeentch's deck is literally this: An Exodia Fisher deck like what the Rare Hunter in the anime used. But actually LEGAL. XD
      EDIT: Well... semi-legal. As of the most recent Master Rule set, Morphing Jar is Limited and I THINK Tzeentch had the maximum of three in his deck. That or he just kept recycling Morphing Jar. I don't remember.
      Also: From what I remember I'm wrong, in part. Tzeentch's deck isn't an Exodia Fisher. It's a deck relying on the effect of Magical Explosion. And is severely weak to hand traps.

  • @thehoodedteddy1335
    @thehoodedteddy1335 5 років тому +1645

    “I will have a techpriest give you the knowledge instantly with the power of science.”
    BONK!!
    Perfect comedy right there

    • @SahasaV
      @SahasaV 4 роки тому +23

      Ahead of it's time.

    • @laurenkirby97
      @laurenkirby97 3 роки тому +26

      This is now how I imagine people learn stuff in the matrix, they get hit in the head really hard in the simulation until they know the stuff.

    • @ScreentimeNOR
      @ScreentimeNOR 3 роки тому +6

      "Bonk!" sums up my favorite reddit - r/hornyjail

    • @kainslegacy78618
      @kainslegacy78618 10 місяців тому

      Anyone else was thinking of Patrick's "We have technology" moment there?

    • @superuser1729
      @superuser1729 7 місяців тому

      I kept repeating that scene 😂

  • @WadeWilsonKPop
    @WadeWilsonKPop 8 років тому +2751

    *HOW IS KITTEN EVER GOING TO WIN NOW?*

    • @goldprime118
      @goldprime118 5 років тому +80

      He'll use giant trunade, and some other card placed on the field for the sake of the plot

    • @mechasaurus
      @mechasaurus 4 роки тому +24

      @@goldprime118 Reminds me of how I played Magic Cylinder on Kaiba's BEUD and CyberStein. Booyah! - for simple comeback strategies!

    • @evilgelatin3538
      @evilgelatin3538 3 роки тому +10

      7:13

    • @KUNAIfever
      @KUNAIfever Рік тому +5

      IF YOU LOSE THE DUEL , YOU LOSE YOUR SOUL

    • @slb797
      @slb797 Місяць тому

      We must have faith in the spleen of the cards!

  • @jaimecuevas4668
    @jaimecuevas4668 8 років тому +1032

    "You just summoned a bunch of monsters in one turn."
    "Yeah, so?"
    "Isn't that against the rules?"
    "Screw the rules, I AM THE EMPERAH"

    • @Gregory-the-small
      @Gregory-the-small 5 років тому +60

      Jaime Cuevas it was a special summon so it was legal

    • @hisokamorow6709
      @hisokamorow6709 5 років тому +16

      @@Gregory-the-small I think he was making a reference to Yugioh abridge.
      Here you go
      ua-cam.com/video/jJzg959KYGo/v-deo.html

    • @theprepaintedcanvis3452
      @theprepaintedcanvis3452 5 років тому +3

      The answer to everything

    • @dumpygrimbo8623
      @dumpygrimbo8623 4 роки тому +15

      What are rules, really though?

    • @caav56
      @caav56 4 роки тому +7

      ​@@dumpygrimbo8623 "AN INTERESTING QUESTION, ASSHOLE."

  • @shadowstrider8295
    @shadowstrider8295 5 років тому +1419

    "Welcome your glorious golden subjugator. The Winged Warrior of Terra."
    By his blood... I SEE HIM! THE PRIMARCH!

    • @Prince__Teclis
      @Prince__Teclis 4 роки тому +78

      Y'know it would actually be possible to have someone in a card in 40k canon. There's a member of the Thousands Sons who has a deck of cards with daemons inside.

    • @doctorecho3007
      @doctorecho3007 4 роки тому +48

      Prince Teclis So the 40k universe is possibly in the same one as Yu-Gi-Oh...This explains far too much and yet nothing at all.

    • @JohnSmith-jp5bj
      @JohnSmith-jp5bj 4 роки тому +38

      Hunger for Burger! Heretic Buuurgeeeeer!

    • @BananaChicken21
      @BananaChicken21 4 роки тому +32

      @@JohnSmith-jp5bj Bring me all the Ork you can find, *I WANT TO SEE MY SON.*

    • @phantomwraith1984
      @phantomwraith1984 4 роки тому +19

      *HERETIC BÖRGER!*

  • @j.g.3293
    @j.g.3293 3 роки тому +384

    The Emperor’s “Impervious” fortress shattered by a single spell. Where have I seen this before?

    • @Qardo
      @Qardo 3 роки тому +49

      Technically, it was sent back to the hand. Thus was never destroyed.

  • @slyngn7847
    @slyngn7847 8 років тому +6563

    Should have challenge him to a game of Warhammer 40- wait a second...

    • @Wafflepudding
      @Wafflepudding 8 років тому +892

      Imagine if the Emperor had played the Tau. Kitten would have exploded.

    • @Wafflepudding
      @Wafflepudding 8 років тому +295

      Eli Reid Eldar. To backtroll the emperor.

    • @ZeroCanalX
      @ZeroCanalX 7 років тому +266

      Actually, w40k exists in w40k. It's Perturabo's hobby... Or at least was during the Great Crusade.

    • @Wafflepudding
      @Wafflepudding 7 років тому +47

      Slaaneshi Rubric Marine It does? that's awesome, is there a horus heresy novel where they talk about it or something?

    • @ZeroCanalX
      @ZeroCanalX 7 років тому +69

      Wafflepudding
      Apparently its _Angel Exterminatus_ by Graham McNeill, though I am not quite sure if its that, it's also quite polarising from what I see.

  • @Naxthural
    @Naxthural 8 років тому +1615

    "Then I have no choice. I challenge you to a game of Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker."
    -Now you have a way to challenge people you disagree with on the Internet.

  • @iamsinistar8971
    @iamsinistar8971 4 роки тому +727

    Basically Yu-Gi-Oh in a Nutshell: Summons and Uses the most OP Cards in the game.
    Immediately gets returned to the deck by one spell card and a card with a cute monster on it.

    • @android19willpwn
      @android19willpwn 4 роки тому +49

      especially great since Giant Trunade is generally considered one of the worst cards in the game. Not *the* worst, not by a long shot, but very bad.

    • @iamsinistar8971
      @iamsinistar8971 4 роки тому +18

      @@android19willpwn That and the Ancient Gear Monsters if you ask me. Ancient Gear cards are so f**king annoying to deal with.
      And i have a feeling The Necrons have those...

    • @BurkinaFaso69
      @BurkinaFaso69 4 роки тому +4

      @@iamsinistar8971 What. Ancient Gear is just... hit your opponent. But really hard

    • @iamsinistar8971
      @iamsinistar8971 4 роки тому +2

      @@BurkinaFaso69 With the best monsters in the Ancient Gear Deck after he quickly summons them using the retarded castle or fortress or whatever. Whoever made that deck clearly didn't want anyone to have fun!

    • @BurkinaFaso69
      @BurkinaFaso69 4 роки тому +4

      @@iamsinistar8971 Sounds like one of your friends built a consistent deck huh. I'll tell you a secret, Ancient Gear is about taking your opponent out in one turn, an OTK. If you survive the turn your friend is helpless.
      Just use monsters like Battle Fader or Honest and anything but Chaos Ancient Gear Giant should be easy enough to overcome.
      If you played Battle Fader, you can use it to summon Linkuriboh and survive another turn. Easy as that.

  • @RangerTheCEOofsx
    @RangerTheCEOofsx 4 роки тому +372

    “How is Kitten ever going to win now?”
    “How is Kitten ever going to win NOW?!”
    “HOW IS KITTEN EVER GÖGN TOURHG WIRN NÖÖWRGHHGHGHG?!”
    “HÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖGH!”
    “-how is Kitten ever going to win now...”

  • @kmoney890
    @kmoney890 8 років тому +1961

    This has by far been the stupidest thing I've watched this year.
    It's amazing

    • @MarcoPolo-xq2jv
      @MarcoPolo-xq2jv 8 років тому +38

      +kmoney890 The year has only begun

    • @NodDisciple1
      @NodDisciple1 8 років тому +2

      +kmoney890 It's only January at that.

    • @kishinasura1504
      @kishinasura1504 8 років тому +2

      +kmoney890 There's nothing you can do about.....IT!!!

    • @thewildcardperson
      @thewildcardperson 3 роки тому +1

      From the future you have no idea how stupid it gets

    • @joefloggg3257
      @joefloggg3257 2 роки тому +1

      It's PERFECTION

  • @kharnthebetrayer2575
    @kharnthebetrayer2575 8 років тому +2659

    Now do it on motorcycles.

    • @TheSweetSpirit
      @TheSweetSpirit 8 років тому +53

      hehehehehehehehehe

    • @mr.shepherd_1776
      @mr.shepherd_1776 7 років тому +43

      Spunk Bubble 5Ds

    • @mini-conlongarm8021
      @mini-conlongarm8021 7 років тому +74

      Do it in space. On hoverboards.

    • @Rakkis157
      @Rakkis157 7 років тому +44

      Do it on hoverboards. IN VR

    • @RoinDanton
      @RoinDanton 7 років тому +76

      Didn't the emporer give a bike to Magnus aka the supernerd? Card Games on motorcycles confirmed!

  • @joseph011296
    @joseph011296 6 місяців тому +39

    I love that this is canonically accurate now.

  • @AshBloodfire
    @AshBloodfire 3 роки тому +388

    If you're curious...
    Man Eater Bug is as is.
    Golden Ladybug has to be 'revealed' (ie you show it and hence acknowledge it exists as a possible target) to give the LP bonus: you can't keep it in your hand and get it.
    Pot of Greed and Graceful Charity work as is, and hence are banned in tournament play (basically, in high level play, anything you can do to get more cards is a game breaker). Of course, the Emperor isn't held by those rules because he's the Emperor.
    Broww works as is: had Kitten been the one that had gotten him to discard it from his hand, he could have drawn two cards instead of one. But he did it himself, so just one.
    Obediance Schooled only works if you have no monsters out: the summoned cards have to have different names (so he couldn't just summon three Happy Snakes), their special effects are disabled, they get destroyed automatically at the end of the turn, and you can't summon any other monsters until the end of the turn unless they are of the 'Beast' archetype. The Emperor avoids these issues by just using them as summoning fodder.
    Ultra Mega Chicken ie the Winged Dragon of Ra was, in the first series lore, one of the three "God Cards" which were ultra powerful and tied to all the silliness that somehow playing a children's card game causes like ancient magical forces and all that: basically in series, if you screwed with the card or you weren't 'worthy' to play it, it wouldn't work or would outright use magical lightning bolts from the sky to try to kill you. For a time, the card didn't exist as an officially playable one in the game: copies were made, but they were ceremonial and were either blank on the front (no rules) or had differently colored backs to distinguish from actual playable cards (so it would be obvious if you had one in a deck). They did eventually release an official, playable version several years after it appeared in the manga/show (which was, of course, weaker). The life points to attack points power was on both the original card from the series and the playable card released. The Emperor didn't use fiction-Ra's other abilities, nor the 'one on the official card' effect of 'Pay 1000 life points to select and destroy a monster on the field', because if he had, Ra would have only had 7400 attack points and a direct attack would have left Kitten with the less dramatic amount of 600 life points left, instead of the 100 left by destroying the 500 point Man Eater Bug with an 8400 attack point monster.
    Temple of the Kings works as is, and lets the Emperor use the trap DNA Surgery without needing Kitten to trigger it himself. It changes Ra/Chicken archtype from Divine Beast to Warrior (and hence turns him into Sanguinius for drama), which he needs to be to use...
    The Noble Arms of Destiny, which can only be used by Warrior-Archtype monsters. The Emperor states it makes him indestructible, which is true, but only once per turn, so if Kitten somehow had two ways to destroy the card he could do (instead of the sole Man Eater Bug flip effect the Emperor negated), he could have succeeded on the second try.
    The Emperor actually didn't need DNA Surgery for Twin Swords of Flashing Light: despite the joke about him needing hands, it is not limited for what it could be equipped on, which means he could have equipped it on Ra-Chicken if he wanted to.
    Terraforming works as is.
    The Golden Castle of Stromberg, oh this is interesting...
    First of all, the card did not appear in the 'official, original' Yu Gi Oh story, ie the one in the manga. It appeared solely as a card in a filler arc of the first series' anime. It was not made an actual card until nearly 15 years later. In the fictional universe, the card was one of a kind, given away as a prize for a tournament, and was purely ceremonial: it was not actually playable, and if placed in the wrist hologram systems all the players use, would not activate as an actual card. However, the villain of the filler arc not only hacked the computer system to accept the card, but altered the card so that the 'discard half your deck to keep this card active' maintenance fee was forced to be payed by the opponent, rather than the player. The 'any monster opponent controls must attack, will be destroyed, suffer half attack points as damage' was also part of the card.
    The actual playable card, besides not forcing the opposing player to play the cost, makes you discard 10 cards instead of half your deck each turn (if you can't pay this ten card cost, the card is destroyed), and cannot FORCE your opponent's monster to battle. In the filler arc, the player of this card didn't realize what the villain had done, but not until he'd played it, which also released a virus that would destroy all the important computer systems related to the plot unless the Castle itself was destroyed. Main character Yugi managed to do this by holding out until he only had one card left in his deck: as he couldn't discard half of a single card, the Castle was destroyed. It was the only way to stop the virus, as the filler anime card was also not a monster card (hence it couldn't be attacked as one) and could not be destroyed by Spells, Traps, or Monster Effects (the actual playable card does not have this defense)
    So of course, the Emperor is using the beyond broken, 'wasn't supposed to be in the game at all in both real life and in the fictional universe and was altered to be even worse to the point where computer systems had to be corrupted for it to be playable at all' version of the card. However, even the filler anime card was not protected from 'send cards back to opponent's hand' effects, and hence Giant Trunade took it off the field and removed all its abilities. And hence, Kitten played Wind-Up Kitten, which put Ra-Chicken back into the Emperor's hand as well, removing any and all his defenses and allowing the relatively weak monster to knock off the last of the life points he couldn't given to Ra-Chicken. DUEL OVER. Because back then, even God monsters didn't have protection from everything.
    Nowadays, a lot of really powerful cards would have abilities to get around this, not to mention Giant Trunade is also banned completely from competitive play (but hey, if the Emperor gets to use banned cards...), but these are all from the 'first generations' and hence couldn't do some of the ridiculous stuff some cards and card combos can do as well. It's basically the Emperor playing the game like a villain in the anime with a big dramatic setup, and Kitten playing like a normal player and having access to cards that destroy the whole setup with one play. They even did this once in the anime themselves, where main character Yugi was in deep trouble before he played one card that caused the villain's setup to force him to draw cards over and over without stopping until he ran out of cards and lost by 'decking out'.
    No, I am totally not a worshipper of Tzeentch. You can be a nerd without being on-PUT THOSE FLAMERS DOWN.

    • @acatwithwiskers9273
      @acatwithwiskers9273 Рік тому +24

      That's a lot of text

    • @michaelandreipalon359
      @michaelandreipalon359 Рік тому +12

      *supplicates repeatedly*

    • @jabezmanch1323
      @jabezmanch1323 Рік тому +20

      ah yes, you must truly be a hyper dimension stripbuyffhfh6tf... player with that wall of text

    • @jagnestormskull3178
      @jagnestormskull3178 Рік тому +1

      Saying "I am totally not a worshipper of Tzeentch" is the best way to implicate yourself as a worshipper of Tzeentch. You should have said "Ave Omnissiah."
      ~Anonymous Ordo Malleus Inquisitior
      P.S. Burn, motherf--ker, burn.

    • @garvinchinnia2438
      @garvinchinnia2438 Рік тому +4

      Amazing.

  • @WizelBalan
    @WizelBalan 8 років тому +1226

    I like how the Custodies are basically acting like Joey/Tea/Tristan in their commenting on dual.

    • @samuelmartens9390
      @samuelmartens9390 4 роки тому +39

      They are literally Kars, Whamu, and Esidisi from JJBA.

    • @Deathpunch-wb3yq
      @Deathpunch-wb3yq 4 роки тому +41

      @@samuelmartens9390 dude. He wasnt talking about their names.

    • @user-qn4xu4tq7n
      @user-qn4xu4tq7n 4 роки тому +12

      @@samuelmartens9390 buddy how you gonna mess up like that

    • @dermilchmann25
      @dermilchmann25 4 роки тому +18

      @@samuelmartens9390 People actually he isnt wrong
      Their commenting actually goes well with their figures of Kars, Whamu and Esidisi

    • @milkjug4237
      @milkjug4237 3 роки тому +4

      Late, but I was gonna say that this entire episode is structured like an anime with them declaring actions and the audience going "Amazing! Such a strategy is blah-blah-blah. How will they ever???"

  • @EmptyMan000
    @EmptyMan000 8 років тому +2569

    I actually want to see the Emperor play the game against Tzeentch now. Plus I can't stop imagining the Emperor in his prime riding atop the Winged Dragon of Ra after watching this video. Thank you for that.

    • @calthepal312
      @calthepal312 8 років тому +94

      I really want to see what deck tzeench plays, probably D/D/Ds, they take some thought and planning, plus ddd stands for "different dimension daemon"

    • @krzysztofbartczak3834
      @krzysztofbartczak3834 8 років тому +54

      +EmptyMan000 don't know precise rules of this game, but if it's anything like MTH or HS then i imagine them pulling more ridiculous combos every turn until they both end up using all cards available then dying.

    • @VestedUTuber
      @VestedUTuber 6 років тому +58

      +calthepal
      I'm sure you've already seen it by now, but apparently Tzeentch plays a really weird combination of Magical Explosion FTK and Vanishing Jar.

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 6 років тому +19

      EmptyMan000 I think you mean Mega Ultra Chicken!

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 6 років тому +4

      VestedUTuber Controlled Burn Deck. Emperor's is Beatstick.

  • @surimonizarro9791
    @surimonizarro9791 3 роки тому +450

    I'm starting to think that this was just the Emperor testing Kitten to see if he would be able to defend Magnus later against Tzeench and also to show him the way of the game.

    • @TF2CrunchyFrog
      @TF2CrunchyFrog Рік тому +19

      Definitely. And Alfabusa wrote that, if the series had been allowed to continue as planned, Kitten (or his soul stuck on Mars?) would have eventually fought a card battle against the Void Dragon on Mars and won. So that's probably why the Emperor said that Kitten, when Magnus sent him to Mars, had "reached his full potential". Of course Emperor's plan did not involve the Machine Spirit simply destroying the Emperor's chess piece prematurely. 😔😭

    • @BD-uo9po
      @BD-uo9po Рік тому +5

      @@TF2CrunchyFrog Given the nature of TTS I think big E did at least see the possibility of kitten falling. In the same episode E even explicitly asked the guards to get him his blanket so he wont split terra in half when his psychic energies possibly rage out of control, unforetunately it was Dorn in the end that stopped said energy from destroying terra by throwing himself at it and blocking the emperors rage.

  • @TheTaintedWisdom
    @TheTaintedWisdom Рік тому +80

    Fun Facts: 1) Even though there are more than 10,000 cards in the game, even to this day, Wind-Up Kitten is the only card in the *ENTIRE* game with "Kitten" in its name.
    2) The Emperor's Warrior goes back to its Mega Ultra Chicken form because Giant Trunade removed DNA Surgery from the field so its effect was no longer active. You can even see it change right when Surgery is bounced (10:02) which is a nice touch.
    3) Although the board was dismantled quickly, Kitten actually could've won with just one card if he had Raphion The Time Lord since it's indestructible, prevents him from taking damage, and would've burned for 7900 damage. Or he could've just used any burn card, with even the weakest one in the game, "Sparks" being able to take out the emperor instantly. Alternatively, after using Trunade, almost any direct attacker, including those from like 20 years ago, could've just bypassed Ultra Chicken and domed the emperor. He didn't even need to cheat by using a banned card like Giant Trunade and just used Murmur of the Forest, which not only would've gotten rid of the castle, but set Ultra Chicken to face-down defense, putting it to 0 and further increasing his options to include multi-attackers like Hayabusa Knight or piercing damage ones like Mad Sword Beast.
    The Emperor playing Ra makes sense given that it's a literal God card but I think we all know that he'd be an Eldlich main since they're both Zombies obsessed with gold and it's more meta-relevant. And the only reason Ra was used was that the LP draining effect sped up the video, which was necessary given that if he played like a modern Yugioh player he would've had to summon and activate like 80 cards and effects before the 1st turn was done.

  • @hemidas
    @hemidas 8 років тому +2008

    Entire Yu-Gi-Oh summed up in 10 minutes.

    • @dragonslair951167
      @dragonslair951167 6 років тому +213

      Stupidly overpowered cards with stupidly powerful and complicated effects, games that are over in the first couple of turns, and massive plays being undone by a single card. This is indeed Yu-gi-oh in a nutshell.

    • @idiom2805
      @idiom2805 6 років тому +72

      Oh, did you spend your entire turn and hand summoning that one epic monster?
      Be a real shame if I were to... shuffle it back into your deck, return it to your hand, or attach it to one of my monsters, now wouldn't it?
      What's that? You're gonna use grave effects to summon something else? Now if only I had a few cards that negated summons I could use...

    • @catmaster7370
      @catmaster7370 6 років тому +22

      With JoJo memes!

    • @illbill5904
      @illbill5904 5 років тому +14

      In the anime they don't follow any rules.

    • @buttonmasher7615
      @buttonmasher7615 5 років тому +7

      Screw the rules, I have money

  • @alfabusa
    @alfabusa  8 років тому +3103

    Officially the dumbest TTS video ever of all time.
    BUT IT WAS PRETTY FUN TO MAKE~~

    • @kam5551
      @kam5551 8 років тому +10

      \^O^/

    • @MisterDraken7609
      @MisterDraken7609 8 років тому +2

      hahaha!

    • @projecta3halkida
      @projecta3halkida 8 років тому +17

      It was a video worth waiting for...WELL DONE BRUVA!!!

    • @deansrandom13
      @deansrandom13 8 років тому +25

      +Bruva Alfabusa Honnestly this was hilarious I tip my hat to this because well, it sums up about any season of yu ghi oh.

    • @MisterDraken7609
      @MisterDraken7609 8 років тому +18

      card games on terra... the greatest video of 2016

  • @incognitoroad3770
    @incognitoroad3770 6 місяців тому +20

    This is canon, Emps dueled Horus at the end of the Horus Heresy this way

    • @skillshare385
      @skillshare385 16 днів тому +1

      and Horus played a Horus engine Exodia deck
      he would have won too, if emps didn't destroy his swords of revealing light, allowing him to otk before gold sarcophagus ended the duel by returning the head of exodia to his hand

  • @minthuta3288
    @minthuta3288 6 місяців тому +19

    It is canon now!
    By the throne!

  • @Inucroft
    @Inucroft 7 років тому +1582

    "Why have you not turned off his life support"
    *Finally turns it off*
    "That was a nice sleep, what has happen to my father- OH MY MAN-EMPEROR WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS DONES"

    • @Fire_of756
      @Fire_of756 4 роки тому +95

      That's probably his plan all along.

    • @bernardotorres5274
      @bernardotorres5274 3 роки тому +44

      I feel that all of that is circling about making a reboot joke, after all his name is Reboute Guilliman.

    • @dickysatria7268
      @dickysatria7268 3 роки тому +20

      @@bernardotorres5274 nah mate his name is rowboat girliman

    • @mrminecraftcubeable
      @mrminecraftcubeable 3 роки тому +17

      Kitten is getting in contact with cawl so anything is possible

    • @faceless8755
      @faceless8755 2 роки тому +9

      @@mrminecraftcubeable this didn’t age well…

  • @killerexe007
    @killerexe007 8 років тому +666

    I'm disappointed about the lack of "Screw the rules, I'm the Emperor" jokes

    • @courage4717
      @courage4717 8 років тому

      ...disappointed by.

    • @killerexe007
      @killerexe007 8 років тому +32

      +Truly Deceptive
      After a quick google search, I have to ask. Is "disappointed about" not a thing in English language?
      In my primary tongue we use both a equivalent of "disappointed by" and "disappointed about" with both having slightly different meaning so I assumed it would be the same. But now I'm failing to find a mention of it on any English grammar site.
      Or is it a thing and I have just simply misused it?

    • @sathra4036
      @sathra4036 8 років тому +47

      Its grammatically correct, just sounds strange.

    • @Sigismund697
      @Sigismund697 8 років тому +5

      that joke stopped being funny a long time ago, it's so 2006

    • @JordanSmith-yi3ji
      @JordanSmith-yi3ji 8 років тому

      It goes either way, many are just more used to dissapointed by than dissapointed about.

  • @obnoxiouspriest
    @obnoxiouspriest 6 місяців тому +21

    This is canon now.

  • @commandermcnash5137
    @commandermcnash5137 6 місяців тому +12

    And now the Emperor sucking at card games is canon, you did it Alfa, whenever you are you did it! Dan Abnett made you canon!

  • @SpitshineSneakers
    @SpitshineSneakers 8 років тому +1015

    MEGA ULTRA CHICKEN!!! Not even Slifer the Executive Producer can stop him!

    • @projecta3halkida
      @projecta3halkida 8 років тому +33

      Exodia just got smacked

    • @failbird105
      @failbird105 8 років тому +83

      But what about Obelisk the Omni-smurf?

    • @projecta3halkida
      @projecta3halkida 8 років тому +15

      +Gentleman Man or the Blue eyed White Dragon of Mars???

    • @spinyjustspiny3289
      @spinyjustspiny3289 8 років тому +10

      +Gentleman Man TOOOOOORMEEEEENT~

    • @hutchy1k94
      @hutchy1k94 8 років тому +20

      +SpitshineSneakers Slifer the Executive Producer?! That's one of the most powerful cards in all of duel monsters!

  • @Fredfredbug4
    @Fredfredbug4 8 років тому +895

    Ah Yu-Gi-Oh, a game that they balanced by making every card overpowered.

    • @calthepal312
      @calthepal312 8 років тому +178

      When everyone's super: noone will be.
      I think matt ward has the same philosophy

    • @essexclass8168
      @essexclass8168 8 років тому +31

      Except the sisters were raped.....both ways...model line prices and lore

    • @TobiTheHedgehog
      @TobiTheHedgehog 8 років тому +4

      +Essex Class what sister what? WHAT?

    • @essexclass8168
      @essexclass8168 8 років тому +3

      +Raiden The Jack Look at "Khornate Knights"

    • @SeraphCrimson777
      @SeraphCrimson777 8 років тому +29

      +Fredfredbug4 More like "balanced" by coming out with increasingly OP cards then tossing them into an ever growing ban list a little later.

  • @grahamtroy9381
    @grahamtroy9381 7 років тому +81

    I lost it at the techpriest giving kitten the knowledge instantly via hitting him on the head with a giant hammer.

  • @Scarifar1
    @Scarifar1 3 роки тому +61

    Even now I love how this children's card game became such a huge part of this universe, just like in the real Yugioh manga.

  • @bryanadkins6776
    @bryanadkins6776 8 років тому +720

    You know I'd love if it turns out that the first step to healing Guilliman is turning off his life support.

    • @luske2
      @luske2 7 років тому +104

      lol guess you were correct on that one ;)

    • @elysiankentarchy1531
      @elysiankentarchy1531 6 років тому +125

      Which means the Emperor wasn't trying to kill Guilliman, he was trying to help him get better. Just as planned!

    • @phantomwraith1984
      @phantomwraith1984 4 роки тому +58

      It is. Guilliman can't be properly revived by Yvraine until.gis stasis field is shut down

    • @DM-Oz
      @DM-Oz 3 роки тому +22

      @@phantomwraith1984 Would be soo much easier if he just told Kitten about his plan then.

    • @jamesbaxter5147
      @jamesbaxter5147 3 роки тому +13

      @@DM-Oz Can’t wait until that happens. Kitten’s gonna enter nerd rage over that.

  • @ICHBinCOOLERalsJeman
    @ICHBinCOOLERalsJeman 8 років тому +480

    AH THE WINGED WARRIOR OF TERRA ITS NOT POSSIBLE NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO SUMMON HIM!

    • @Bartoc1988
      @Bartoc1988 8 років тому +8

      +Jake Johnson Because its one of the many lines the chracters use a lot in the anime ;)

    • @richardlionerheart1945
      @richardlionerheart1945 5 років тому +10

      OH NO THE WINGED HUSSAR OF POLAND

    • @TheGoodLuc
      @TheGoodLuc 5 років тому +1

      He's the motherfucking Emperor, so he can.

    • @vinnylatoria4478
      @vinnylatoria4478 4 роки тому +1

      Wasn't it Sanguinius? Primarch of the Blood Angels?

    • @tonitapola7811
      @tonitapola7811 4 роки тому +1

      @@vinnylatoria4478 I think it was "the Angel", Emperor created him way before primarchs, possibly acting as a beta version for that project, to destroy his enemies on Terra. The Angel was flawed however, destroying cities that he deemed unworthy of Emperor's love. In one occasion a whole planet. In the end Big E had enough and locked Angel away.

  • @snakemilthescienceeel2565
    @snakemilthescienceeel2565 6 років тому +557

    Behold:
    Mega.
    ULTRA.
    Chicken.

    • @Kalckie
      @Kalckie 4 роки тому +32

      *MAGNUS THE RED WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION*

    • @thebarrellord.6683
      @thebarrellord.6683 4 роки тому +8

      Kalckie
      Kitten:
      “That looks more like a dragon than it does a chicken to be fair”

    • @articusramos808
      @articusramos808 4 роки тому +24

      ARISE CHICKEN! ARISE

    • @michielkudova3887
      @michielkudova3887 4 роки тому +5

      OK hax I call hax

    • @nukclear2741
      @nukclear2741 3 роки тому +1

      Michiel Kudova What? hax? What are you talking about?

  • @FunnyTaco143
    @FunnyTaco143 6 місяців тому +10

    actual cannon now

  • @aleksasavic219
    @aleksasavic219 8 років тому +423

    The glourious Emperor of Mankind, strongest Human being in the Galaxy, leader and god of one of the greatest races there is... Lost to a wind-up-kitten...
    SCREW YOU KHORNE! I HAVE A NEW GOD!

    • @WarmLusamine
      @WarmLusamine 5 років тому +4

      *Slaanesh floats some distance away with Relinquished nearby.*
      I know my god/goddess.

    • @Zoncas3042
      @Zoncas3042 5 років тому +8

      Du yu haf a moment tu tok abaut aur gods n seiviors Gork n Mork?

    • @joenuts8312
      @joenuts8312 5 років тому +4

      I now worship the Wind-Up-Kitten, it truly is the most powerful being in existence.

    • @InternetEntity
      @InternetEntity 4 роки тому

      @@joenuts8312
      Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Maybe it was but no longer is, or wasn't but shall be. Or perhaps not at all.
      Hum... Ah... Oh well.
      What are your thoughts on the colour pink, if you have any thoughts at all?
      -Tzeentch.

  • @selahh7032
    @selahh7032 7 років тому +180

    "Cards don't need to circulate blood..."
    Okay, Rogal.

  • @martinconway8174
    @martinconway8174 6 місяців тому +9

    I’m back here after the release of The End and the Death Volume 3, where Horus defeats Big E in a Children’s Card Game. This game is now absolutely Canon. This isn’t an opinion, this is fact.

  • @Skeletonk
    @Skeletonk 6 місяців тому +13

    RECENT LORE HAS MADE THIS VIDEO VERY RELEVNANT

  • @Shaderaygun
    @Shaderaygun 8 років тому +130

    I was really expecting the Emperor to power up his one creature, only for Maneater bug to kill it

    • @triggerme6144
      @triggerme6144 6 років тому +4

      Yeah same

    • @witchBoi_Connor
      @witchBoi_Connor 5 років тому +16

      Actually yeah shouldn’t Maneater bug have killed the- oh wait he used those stupid shields.

  • @retroicdescent
    @retroicdescent 8 років тому +721

    I thoroughly enjoyed this, because I used to play yugioh as a kid and watch the anime. beautiful spinoff. Now Kitten just has to beat Tzeentch in order to be the card champion of the galaxy!

    • @Sigismund697
      @Sigismund697 8 років тому +117

      I feel Tzeetch's strategy consists of ending every duel with a tie or Last Turn level of bullshit

    • @essexclass8168
      @essexclass8168 8 років тому +49

      +RetroicDescent You obviously don't know or forgot the reason the Emperor was stuck unable to speak with psychic powers these past 10,000 years.

    • @tyberostheredwake8098
      @tyberostheredwake8098 8 років тому +71

      +apocaly21 His favorite card has to be Back to Square One. The game must never end!

    • @kishinasura1504
      @kishinasura1504 8 років тому +17

      And self destruct button in case shit goes wrong for him.

    • @Sigismund697
      @Sigismund697 8 років тому +15

      Kishin Asura
      implying things can go wrong for Tzeetch

  • @arthurgoetz9543
    @arthurgoetz9543 6 місяців тому +7

    I can't believe they actually made this the ending battle between Horus and the Emperor

  • @LtScarecrow87
    @LtScarecrow87 5 років тому +164

    I also just realized something (sorry if I didn’t see a similar comment):
    The Emperor could, at any time, have ordered another custodian to turn off Guillimans life support, but he didn’t. Instead, he decided to play a children’s card game to decide NOT whether said life support should turn off, but rather whether Kitten is banished to Ultramar until said task is complete. Even if Kitten left, there is no guarantee Guilliman would die.
    Analysis: the Emperor doesn’t want to kill another one of his sons as much as he lets on

    • @laurenkirby97
      @laurenkirby97 3 роки тому +6

      It's part of the plan, probably going to become relevant soon since kitten is about to meet with cawl.

  • @sharpey92
    @sharpey92 8 років тому +298

    WIND UP KITTY

    • @courage4717
      @courage4717 8 років тому +34

      That kitten was fucking adorable.

    • @sharpey92
      @sharpey92 8 років тому +30

      THAT KITTEN NEEDS TO BE IN ALL THE EPISODES NOW

    • @courage4717
      @courage4717 8 років тому +4

      +Spaamesh STS Wait; which one were you talking about: the card or the Custodes?

    • @sharpey92
      @sharpey92 8 років тому

      Wind up of course, In fact Wind up kitten can take Kittens place :3

    • @courage4717
      @courage4717 8 років тому +7

      +Spaamesh STS Sorry. The correct answer was "Yes."

  • @409epic
    @409epic 8 років тому +216

    Thank you, this has cleared up the 40k lore for me in so many ways.

  • @vyzzvyzz9726
    @vyzzvyzz9726 6 місяців тому +8

    DAN ABNETT GOTTA HAVE DONE THIS IN E.A.T.D 3 ON PURPOSE KNOWING THIS EPISODE LMAO

  • @miraak542
    @miraak542 6 років тому +36

    "Washing Detergent, in Attack Mode!"
    An excellent sass Kitten.

  • @GaratghDeloi
    @GaratghDeloi 8 років тому +84

    "Washing detergent, in attack-mode!" LOL!

  • @ZoranTheBear
    @ZoranTheBear 8 років тому +751

    Needs more card games on motorcycles.

  • @Gurmudgin
    @Gurmudgin Рік тому +14

    Wind Up Kitten is officially the most powerful card in the universe.
    Defeated the Big E himself, and Tzeetch.
    Completely unstoppable.

  • @dreammaker4761
    @dreammaker4761 6 місяців тому +8

    2024: The "Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-
    Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess- Strip Poker- is now Canon...

  • @RuSosan
    @RuSosan 8 років тому +412

    ... Kitten is *CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED* confirmed.

    • @DiamondCrash
      @DiamondCrash 8 років тому +55

      +RuSosan Tactical genius hurrr

    • @Hiperforteca
      @Hiperforteca 8 років тому +17

      +RuSosan Kitten > Creed

    • @mikeloeven
      @mikeloeven 8 років тому +21

      +Hyper Nah Due to the lack of bane-blades i suspect kitten is in fact Cegorach

    • @silaslithian5298
      @silaslithian5298 8 років тому

      +Mike Loeven His is the Chosen One by the Eldar.

    • @hiroprotagonest
      @hiroprotagonest 8 років тому

      A Space Marine Chapter Master should be a far better tactical genius than Creed. And the Lord-General of the Custodes should be smarter than a Space Marine Chapter Master, though admittedly they're trained to fight as individuals, under siege, rather than tactical squad assaults.

  • @TheExecutorr
    @TheExecutorr 7 років тому +59

    "Mega Ultra Chicken? That name is dumb." "It is you who is dumb!"
    -Seto Kaiba and Ishizu Ishta

  • @emperorconstantine1.361
    @emperorconstantine1.361 5 років тому +40

    This was the EXACT moment that Kitten could have stopped the Primaris Marines from coming to existence...
    HAVE THE THREE STRIP-ETTERS LOCKED IN WITH HIM WITH THAT LAUGHING ELDAR IN FRONT OF THE ONLY WARP PORTAL BACK TO THE EMPERORS PALACE!!!
    ...FOR 3 WEEKS!!!

  • @commentdouchery2838
    @commentdouchery2838 Рік тому +9

    "I WILL HAVE A TECH PRIEST GIVE YOU THIS KNOWLEDGE INSTANTLY WITH THE POWER OF SCIENCE."
    *Wacks him with a mallet*
    I had to pause I was in tears!!!

  • @ryanstromberg9106
    @ryanstromberg9106 8 років тому +291

    I didn't know I had a golden castle

    • @JordanSmith-yi3ji
      @JordanSmith-yi3ji 8 років тому +78

      Only in the anime friend. Also, fuck your castle.

  • @DaimoHope
    @DaimoHope 7 років тому +457

    This is one of my favourite videos of yours. Maybe when Jaghatai returns they do a spin off. Him and Magnus playing this on Jet bikes

    • @crimsondynamo615
      @crimsondynamo615 4 роки тому +11

      *CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!*

    • @zrust451
      @zrust451 4 роки тому +1

      Well, it turns out Magnus doesn't really like this game.

    • @scotcheggable
      @scotcheggable 3 роки тому +4

      Imagine if that's how jaghatai has been battling the dark eldar all these years

  • @lukegeraci1743
    @lukegeraci1743 6 місяців тому +8

    Nack from end and the death volume 3 im shocked he played this against horus on the vengful spirit and how that cannon

  • @johnlucas2838
    @johnlucas2838 2 роки тому +7

    There he goes, the Emperor putting all of his eggs into one basket and risking it all to win. I mean think about it, totally akin to how the whole crusade played out.

  • @metalslimehunt
    @metalslimehunt 8 років тому +133

    You know, I hear that in the original Swedish the Ultramarealm doesn't exist and they just die instead, but Alfa Legion's translators had to conform to Standards and Practices to get it rated I for Imperial.

    • @alfabusa
      @alfabusa  8 років тому +37

      +MetalSlimeHunt AHAHAHA

    • @jbark678
      @jbark678 5 років тому +2

      As opposed to X for Xeno

  • @HeinrichKonig
    @HeinrichKonig 8 років тому +46

    Honestly, this makes a pretty good ad for YuGiOh. The fast pace, the stupid-long combos, the fact that your fortunes can turn on a dime... A GG if ever I saw one.

    • @calthepal312
      @calthepal312 8 років тому +2

      >he thinks this was fast paced
      Gtfo scrub, that wasn't even a long combo. Learn what a maxx "c" challenge is.

    • @HeinrichKonig
      @HeinrichKonig 8 років тому +3

      k.

  • @jakstrieder
    @jakstrieder 6 місяців тому +4

    really wasn't expecting that outcome... let alone a children's card game LOL

  • @333teapot
    @333teapot 6 місяців тому +13

    Anyone here after EatD III?

  • @EvilDoresh
    @EvilDoresh 8 років тому +195

    "With my Cat-A-Pult, I will shower your Winged Warrior of Terra with little kittens, overburdening him and sending him crashing down onto the Golden Castle of Stromberg. Both are indestructible, but the resulting shockwave will fling the surviving kittens directly into your face, taking away your 100 Life Points!!"
    "HOW THE FUCK DOES ANY OF THIS EVEN REMOTELY MAKE SE..."
    "MIND CRUSH!!"
    ""WAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAW!!"

    • @ShermTank7272
      @ShermTank7272 4 роки тому +7

      This legitimately sounds like something out of Duelist Kingdom

    • @Shade400
      @Shade400 4 роки тому +4

      @@ShermTank7272 destroys the castles flotation ring

  • @lucinaaugusta7279
    @lucinaaugusta7279 7 років тому +106

    Was honestly expecting Kitten to just throw down an Ookazi and win

  • @randomlyentertaining8287
    @randomlyentertaining8287 Рік тому +41

    The fact that this parody used the parody name of a card from another parody of another series is just...fantastic.
    EDIT: I have ceased seizing enough from sheer laughter to tell you this is the best episode so far XD

  • @Gogetossj50
    @Gogetossj50 4 роки тому +13

    Fun fact: A few years after this video an archetype named "Crusadia" was released whose primary purpose is to bring out a magical warrior clad in golden armor (Crusadia Equimax) that can increase it's ATK and use other support cards to deal huge amounts of battle damage, aka what the Emperor tried to do in this duel.

  • @NostalgiaChan
    @NostalgiaChan 8 років тому +30

    Fun fact: Thunder does actually use a cat deck.
    Also y'all need to play when I'm actually home/awake, damnit. My penguins need curbstomping.

  • @anothga
    @anothga 8 років тому +118

    10:53
    *"This spin-off was dumb. Let us never speak of it again."*
    Is that a reference to Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Movie? I feel ashamed to admit I thought of it only 10 minutes after watching this.

    • @Sigismund697
      @Sigismund697 8 років тому +4

      +Genetic Heresy Anubis comes to challenge the MC to a card game for the destiny of humanity, for no reason whatsoever and the MC wins by using. the cards they gave you for watching the movie in theaters

  • @ZiggySA
    @ZiggySA 6 місяців тому +7

    So it turns out this was cannon all along. TEATD 3.

  • @St33lStrife
    @St33lStrife 3 роки тому +6

    *inhale*
    *Sigh*
    I'm going to miss this shit

  • @andresr.viguera9791
    @andresr.viguera9791 8 років тому +60

    "By the Milky Way´s mammaries"
    XDD I really love how Emperor swears.

  • @robouteguilliman6662
    @robouteguilliman6662 8 років тому +394

    Dad why do you want me dead?

    • @crimsondynamo615
      @crimsondynamo615 5 років тому +89

      Roboute Guilliman your Eldar girlfriend is being a bad influence on you

    • @TheGoodLuc
      @TheGoodLuc 5 років тому +56

      The Emperor: Your soup-craving chant is fucking killing me.

    • @caav56
      @caav56 4 роки тому +33

      @@crimsondynamo615 He's jealous you've got Yvraine and he failed to get his Eldar prositutes before Fucking Horus fucked up.

    • @thyrussendria8198
      @thyrussendria8198 4 роки тому +7

      He most likely does not want you dead, but is speculating that by turning off your life support, your body will be kickstarted back into primarch-regeneration, bringing you out of your coma and thus back to the Imperium, Papa Smurf.

    • @adeptusastartes1392
      @adeptusastartes1392 4 роки тому +4

      Are you enjoying that xeno ass??

  • @Alex-zp1ry
    @Alex-zp1ry 4 роки тому +3

    Jesus. I only learned of this series two days ago, and even then I never expected the Emperor to face off against an adeptus custodes member in a shadow game

  • @MultiSERZA
    @MultiSERZA 3 роки тому +27

    Good bye sweet prince you will be missed and GW be dammed

  • @Disc0Darling
    @Disc0Darling 8 років тому +121

    This is me and my best friend when we play Magic the Gathering in a nutshell.
    Except I don't
    actually
    beat him.
    *cries in a corner*

    • @GameNerd91
      @GameNerd91 3 роки тому +1

      I know that feeling. My zombies and fish people decks always lose to my friends artifact deck and enchantment decks

  • @zengamer321
    @zengamer321 8 років тому +488

    So... if the Emperor and Tzeentch plays Yugioh then who plays MTG?

    • @zengamer321
      @zengamer321 7 років тому +5

      Eli Reid I've always known I am one.

    • @TheCorrodedMan
      @TheCorrodedMan 7 років тому +5

      antimatterdragon321 va orks do ooime

    • @CM-hx5dp
      @CM-hx5dp 6 років тому +91

      Magnus the red play's red//blue

    • @pierat3338
      @pierat3338 6 років тому +6

      antimatterdragon321 nobody because it's shit and everyone who I know who plays it is a dick who spends £50-100 just to win easily

    • @TheChrisrock55555
      @TheChrisrock55555 6 років тому +3

      Slaanesh

  • @iliahgranovsky3400
    @iliahgranovsky3400 6 місяців тому +6

    ITS CANNON NOW

  • @thevoiceinyourhead7215
    @thevoiceinyourhead7215 3 роки тому +74

    like many yugioh decks that belong to characters, I feel there is symbolism to scratch at here, and I'm going to say it
    Kitten's deck seems to focus on false destruction this far, or something like it. he's still at the temple after all those years, fighting a constant battle of living with ones own developing and somewhat escalating mind. his monsters are weak, stat wise, as far as I've seen, and the victories of his monsters are technical, only one battle(as in the effect-relevant phases inside the battle-phase where a monster attacks another) actually took place in the duel, and if it wasn't for the emperor's choice/draw of cards, he would have *technically* won that first battle, were it not for the fact that man-eater-bug targets
    meanwhile, the emperor's Winged Dragon Of Raa turbo deck does an impressive job at doing just that, raising his LP and draw-powering into equips to ensure above-avridge numbers on his ace's stats, however, because of his focus on turboing out his own form of this god-made-warrior, his deck becomes fleeting if going up against a technical sleeper such as Kitten's deck, that would probably also come equipped with multiple variants of mirror force. this could symbolize his likeness to the faults of humanity that he claims to be so perfectly except from, not to mention that despite the technology keeping him alive, he is still on the clock with how much focus it takes to keep afloat in the situation he is locked into in what remains of his life
    and yes I know I'm over-analyzing, but time spent on something you enjoy isn't time wasted or something like that

    • @summermermaidstar756
      @summermermaidstar756 2 роки тому +2

      Also Kitten won
      with a kitten

    • @ae3qe27u3
      @ae3qe27u3 10 місяців тому +2

      I quite enjoyed this!

    • @thevoiceinyourhead7215
      @thevoiceinyourhead7215 10 місяців тому +2

      @@ae3qe27u3 thank you dearly. It is only a pleasure to provide if I am aware that there is some manner of engagement. Your four words of text is an oasis, internet stranger

    • @ae3qe27u3
      @ae3qe27u3 10 місяців тому +2

      @@thevoiceinyourhead7215 I get exactly what you mean! It can feel like screaming/yeeting words into a void sometimes, and I'm glad I was able to provide some validation. I thought it was a nifty write-up, as I know very little about Yu-Gi-O (I know some of the basics, but not all of them). It helped me understand the video better, and it wad also an interesting source of enrichment/entertainment on its own.

  • @veterankasrkin7416
    @veterankasrkin7416 8 років тому +310

    Time to sleep.
    Wait. WHAT THE FUCK! ANOTHER BRUVA VIDEO?????
    MUST WATCH NAO!!!
    *FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!!!!!!!!!*

    • @1985Cyrus
      @1985Cyrus 8 років тому +33

      +Scarecrow Sleep is for Heretics!

    • @courage4717
      @courage4717 8 років тому +1

      +criss poyner ...better just lay the Exterminatus upon-ALRIGHT; *FIRE!*

    • @T_P56
      @T_P56 8 років тому +1

      +Scarecrow You're same.HahHAhhahahahahaah

    • @TheSacredMaster
      @TheSacredMaster 8 років тому

      +Scarecrow hahaha, same

    • @Buzzy_Bland
      @Buzzy_Bland 7 років тому

      Angry Marine WOAH woah woah. An Angry Marine speaking in _lower case letters_?!? *_IMPOSTER!!!_* **BLAM!**

  • @julienweiss9363
    @julienweiss9363 8 років тому +39

    The God-Emperor of Mankind, decaying on a Golden Throne for the sake of Man, playing Yu-Gi-Oh card game with Little Kitten, his overpowered podyguard (because Custodes ) , with the goal to kill one of the Emperor's sons and great general , all things under the supervision of three half-naked, faaaabulous custodians with oiled abs?
    Wow. I think it is the stupidest thing I ever heard about.

  • @_r._7513
    @_r._7513 4 роки тому +8

    5:13 Behold! Mega Ultra Chicken!

  • @edmundthespiffing2920
    @edmundthespiffing2920 3 роки тому +4

    I'm watching this and I am crying

    • @daveg7516
      @daveg7516 3 роки тому

      Same while I watched the bro trip 40k that would have been a legendary series!

  • @JaXonSlade
    @JaXonSlade 7 років тому +307

    A war hammer 40k card game would be badass.

    • @RATPT0I
      @RATPT0I 7 років тому +54

      There's several of them already.

    • @robertsmalls2293
      @robertsmalls2293 5 років тому +4

      RATPT0I Could you please name a few I’m interested.

    • @Xalerdane
      @Xalerdane 4 роки тому +6

      Robert Smalls there was a Space Wolves game for phones and tablets a few years ago that had cards in it, but it wasn’t really a card game in the traditional sense.

    • @AngelsLance
      @AngelsLance 4 роки тому +6

      @@robertsmalls2293 There was Warhammer 40k Conquest which was pretty fun but Fantasy Flight lost the 40k license and discontinued it.

    • @xunk16
      @xunk16 4 роки тому

      And of course Dark Millenium, which is all about controlling territories by having the best lineup in that sector. In that respect, it looks like the ancestor of Conquest. Dark Millenium was flawed in that it didn't offered Tau or Necron as playable armies. This might have played into its downfall. Conquest did offer the Tau, not the Necron; but did the amazing by separating Imperial Guards from Space Marines and Eldars from Dark Eldars... which previously made both factions a bit confusing as a first contact with the lore.
      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Millennium
      www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/news/2014/3/18/warhammer-40000-conquest/
      I never played conquest, nor have I heard of it before this comment section.
      However I do own the 4 starter decks for Dark Millenium. It's not a terrible game, but the round limit per game kinda makes it rigid / awkward.
      The few people I played it with never really got the rising interest to ask for a re-match though... and it has been collecting dust for nearly a decade, if not more. Maybe it's time I start pestering people about a game once more. °__°?

  • @Totek123
    @Totek123 8 років тому +30

    "Tzeentch is a giant nerd now isn't he" lmao

  • @drawbyyourselve
    @drawbyyourselve Рік тому +3

    I wil miss these joke episodes the most. Thinking back on how we could have had ceogorach, the deceiver or the void dragon as jokes.
    Just imagine kitten and the crew unleashing the biggest c'tan shard and all it does is draw out a duel disk, be beaten and quietly settle down in mars again (or go to ultramar)

  • @dank_smirk2ndchannel200
    @dank_smirk2ndchannel200 4 роки тому +35

    I’m just surprised that the Emperor didn’t immediately draw all the parts of Exodia

  • @lookslikeEzio
    @lookslikeEzio 8 років тому +60

    I bet this was an actual game between thunderpsyker and alfabusa. Alfa being cheesy, psyker complaining about the cheesyness, then winning with a simple card.

    • @ThunderPsyker
      @ThunderPsyker 8 років тому +28

      +CaptainFedora It was based off an actual game, but not with me in it.
      The closest thing which happened I think was when Garrot made a 'Skeleton deck', and one of his cards got 12000 ATK. I had Draining Shield as a face-down card. It was incredible.

    • @lookslikeEzio
      @lookslikeEzio 8 років тому +1

      +ThunderPsyker oh my, i'd love to play with you at one point. I have a really bad vampire deck, lol

    • @ThunderPsyker
      @ThunderPsyker 8 років тому +5

      CaptainFedora You would still win, Cat Deck sucks

    • @lookslikeEzio
      @lookslikeEzio 8 років тому +2

      +ThunderPsyker i See this as a challenge on who can lose better.

    • @pierat3338
      @pierat3338 6 років тому

      ThunderPsyker I want to play, I have a deck made entirely out of bullshit (pretty much tzeench's deck from the other Yugio short)

  • @moorhs_
    @moorhs_ 8 років тому +14

    "well tzeeneetch is a giant nerd now isn't he"

  • @TheGigafist
    @TheGigafist 3 роки тому +9

    It's been 5 years since this lovely piece of media came out. And I still love it. Here's to a good and happy life for you Alfabusa.

  • @har0her059
    @har0her059 4 роки тому +24

    “I was promised stripping but there was NONE”