I feel like there are always two people inside every empath , the loving , forgiving , infinitely tolerant and loyal person , but way back in the background a tough , reliant survival self protector that hardly ever sees the light of day . When pushed too far , and we are under attack this secondary part of us FINALLY steps forward to save the other . This is often something wonderful that both ourselves AND THE NARC never saw coming !!! 😉💪❤️
It's our core. Cherish it, it is always there. Like you say, a long way in the background, and it normally only has to be called upon when we're hurting. Glad you had the strength. It can get pretty tough, when you're put through the grinder.
So true. One of the narcs I knew told me I was "too nice" when I first met them. And I was so effing naive I believed that being nice was a good thing and that this person (at the time I didn't know they were a narc) appreciated me. But as time went on, there came a time when I got sick and didn't have energy for anything or to do anything for anyone else, I could barely take care of myself, and that is when the narc started having rage fits and yelling and screaming at me all the time when I needed to rest and be left alone. It was then I realized how evil the narc was and lacked any humanity. Once I realized that, I stopped being "too nice" and doing things for the narc. At that point, it was a matter of my survival and not dying ---- literally ------ and at that point i told the narc I can't help them, i need to rest, and for the narc to leave me alone. The narc hated that and started creating a lot of unnecessary drama, all of which I ignored as much as possible, and then finally months later my health improved, I was able to move out and leave the effing narc-----and the narc was shocked. effing narc. I had to call the police on the narc the day before I moved because of the narc's threatening behavior. I've been no contact since then and I hope the effing narc is suffering. And since then, I am careful to not be "too nice". The narc was probably already licking their chops and seeing me as an easy target. Lesson learned, I will never ever make the mistake again of being "too nice", I was so naive. But at the end of the day, enough was enough and my survival instincts finally kicked in and looking back at all the horrible abuse from the narc I am just shaking my head at what I endured and how in the world did I find the strength to get through it and get out.
@lindajh5672 And then..... you healed yourself. Isn't it great. Because deep down you're worth it. You have so much to offer. And you know it. There are going to be a fair few tricky situations for us all to figure out from now on, but one of them won't be, am I worth it? Good luck....x
@grahamlawson5691 Thanks Graham! It is great, peace and quiet away from the narc, no drama, what a relief, and I realized who the f*** does the narc think they are that my life meant nothing to them --- literally I could have died - - - and all the narc cared about was what could I do for them. Despicable evil monsters. Yep, that is when I realized I am worth more than that. Older but wiser.
So correct! I'm working on never having to get pushed to the wall. Many times, I did see ugliness coming and got out of there, but even then I ignored too many red flags.
They also want everyone else in your life to doubt you. They are talking about you behind your back. They are sprinkling just enough truth in there to make it appear believable. They pretend to be talking about you because they are concerned or caring.
It’s craziness and chaos at all times. Still people will see these toxic people for who they are, no one actually wants to be with a narcissist if they would know what’s behind the mask
I am an empath and was targeted by a narcissist. I did feel something was wrong with him early on. I tried to break free from him so many times. Thankfully I never married him after he attempted to get me to do that one month in. I wish I had listened to myself. Those red flags were flying. Andrew when you speak it is as if we lived a parallel life. The hardest thing for me was to forgive myself for not wanting better for myself. If you never lived this then you really don't get it. These people crawl this Earth and inflict an immense amount of abuse to your mind and soul. I could never thank you enough Andrew. Best to everyone on their healing journey.
The endless denials, forgiveness, rationalizations, shock, excuses, confusion and chronic false hopes, are trauma bonds. The narc, is really a threat on every level and a serious waste of time because in the end, you are winning nothing good.
I’m not questioning myself anymore. Listening to you videos every day is helping me ensure I stand my ground and stay in my power. It’s amazing to know there are so many people out there who have experience this and to know I’m not crazy and I am definitely not alone.Thank you 🙏🏻
I agree i would be in another kind of hell if there was not for Andrews peptalk and education information. I hope one day when this is all in the back mirror I can also inspire and help others in this crazy world with this kind of evil that lurks behind the curtains of reality. It's philosophy and I qoute to psykatrist Jordan Petersson" people with ptsd don.t have it because they are hurt" they have it because somone like the narcissist wanted to harm them. Many Sicentist want to close the eye to that fact but I know it as my truth that why you develop complex ptsd is because you meet to many people that have the traits of Dark Trihat.
I wanted a divorce the whole time I was married because I knew I was being mistreated but he convinced me I was mentally ill and couldn’t live without him. Well I’m doing a darn good job living without him now. I wish I left the first year I was married. Thirty years of marriage and I never felt loved. I thought it was me.
I was 31 years living in bizarre-o-world as well. I was 21 and he was 36, targeted me from the beginning then 5 months later he manipulated me into leaving my life and relocated and know now it was to isolate me so he could mold me into the clown slave. He discarded me Dec 2023 and I still struggle with the lies, cheating, smearing my name, etc. Love and prayers for your continued peace and happiness.❤🙏🏻
@@JanetMitchell-y8i So sorry you had to go through that. Giving someone your whole life and they don’t even care is a form of betrayal. My ex acts like he’s not contacting me then I get mail he never changed his address. He acts like I abused him and all of my friends are gone along with my church. I divorced him because he said he wanted one. Had I realized I would have made him file. I’m free from all the childish games and lack of love. All I ever wanted was to be loved and take care of my husband like a wife should
Thank you Andrew, without these videos I’ve found from you and others it’s hard to tell where I would be. Being married to a covert narcissist of 29 toxic years has had me on deaths door more than once. I’m relieved that I found the needle . I’ve been no contact since Aug 22 of this year and I’m putting the work in. I’m alone and scared but I’ve just started counseling and really need to put myself back together. Thank you so much for your words. When no one believes you and you have been so neglected it really makes one loose there faith in people. I’m staying quiet in my cocoon and I’m going to work very hard to find myself again and thrive. Thanks again ❤
Nothing to fear but fear itself & you’re steps forward are dissolving it even though at times you feel afraid. I’m almost two years free & it’s amazing how much of my true self has been able to come forward but so much stronger now
So many unbelievable, unimaginably cruel and twisted things they’ve said…but you chalk it off to “they’ve had a lot of trauma, their parents were abusive, they need time to trust, they’re just afraid…” and on and on and on, we made so many excuses. Now I look back and realize, no, there is no excuse and this isn’t normal… “ a man’s heart lies beneath his tongue”
They dont want you to Be your Authentic Self,,they want to Control you,and who you want to say hello to,,or who you want to spend time with,,freedom is Lovely,,we are.energy in Motion,,And they Hated us for being us,,,T.y. Andrew life is so peaceful Now,,,💜💜💜✨✨✨✨✨🤗
They want your light under a basket because they are toxically envious of healthier souls, yet they don't want to put in the effort to get there themselves. It's too much work for them and they are comfortable controlling others to get what they want.
Becoming a more "authentic self" means a lot less stress for me. No need to boost a fake image, no need to prove anything to anyone. All wasted energy to fake it.
"to the detriment of yourself" you know you finished Andrews sentence before he said it. Don't deny it, you know we speak the same language. We have been through the cycle. Dunked in the deep end of destruction and rose like a Phoenix. Namaste Andrew.🙇♀️🙇♂️
I do nothing but go in circles. Have to many people In my head...like literally multiple groups , including these contacts in my eyes....don't know who to trust in my head and times all I do is question myself and what I'm doing on a daily basis.....they destroyed me ..demasculated me now I'm dealing with these videos figuring my self out and trying to piece everything together......thanks for all you say and or do,, Helping me big time thru these rough timesss....thanks man!!!!!God Bless you!!!!Like a Guaridan Angel...lol
This information is true, and a critical part of my recovery has been taking responsibility for my own actions. Doing the inner work-through self-reflection and taking inventory-has been essential. I realized that moving forward without resentment was key. Holding onto resentment only keeps the trauma bond alive, and letting go of it has been incredibly freeing. The process takes time.
I don't think I really questioned myself, it was more that I didn't understand what I was seeing. My narc ex would work so much overtime that it made her sick, yet she loved it. Did she need the money, no, it was the praise she got for working so much from coworkers. I also couldn't understand why her family had so many bad things happen to them, it was like they lived under a black cloud !
Love you Andrew! Never stop believing in yourself! When I was with my narcissist, there was no information about narcissism. Every time I researched his behavior, it came back as someone on drugs. In the last couple of years of the relationship, I discovered he was a drug addict, alcoholic! Only when I came across you did I realize, he was a narcissistic, drug addict, alcoholic! Ha! Joke on me!
I questioned myself with all narcissists in my life historically until the day I didn't with each one for different reasons. I heard a man say this. The narcissist lays spider eggs in your head when they have a conversation. You think everything's okay, but somehow you felt something wasn't quite right in what was said. You stepped away and days after, each spider egg hatches, one at a time. You realize that the spider eggs hatching is the long term effect of one conversation. That's an earmark of a narcissist for me now. When I have a conversation and later there were those eggs hatching. The wondering of the motives, inuendo, misperceptions, the spider eggs hatching. You realize it every time you spoke to them, you got further away, it happened more and more. Your awareness just growing of those lies and word games, mind games, manipulation games. Thank God they are all gone!!
My goodness...your words helped me so deeply. I was raised in horrible foster homes. How could that person hurt me so deeply; so I began to pray. Then only then then did my awayness begin. Just sending you much thanks🪶🕊️
No questioning any more. But To become the third version after Been abused in family, by husband and last partner, it’s a lifelong healing, changing and stay out! Once out no way back possible! 🙏 for daily’s!!
Thank you for this great video, Andrew, on when we stopped doubting ourselves! I doubted myself somewhat before I was in the narc relationship and then doubted myself so much more about absolutely everything in the narc relationship. It was a blessing on the healing path when I stopped doubting myself and trusted myself again in a deeper way for the first time in my life. Andrew mentioned making a Pros and Cons List of the narcissistic relationship as a tool to heal. It is a veryeffective tool to really open your eyes and see the narc relationship for what it actually was. Namaste 🙏 💖
The creature I was involved with (business partner) actually tried to tell me there was a difference between 20% and 1/5th. My jaw literally dropped. He actually tried to argue the point. My brain was scrambled by the end.
This is real, been 2 years. I used to think it can’t be me. For the others, it can be you. The sooner you accept it the sooner you recover, at least for me. What did it for me was experiencing it again. It’s like being a child and burning your finger on the stove once and not realizing why the pain came after the burn and damage was done. The next time you learn not to touch hot surfaces. It’s not easy, but now recognizable.
“I was mistaken” is how I state it to myself whenever my mind returns to the state of cognitive dissonance… he fooled nearly everyone except his ‘crazy’ ex wife. When I finally called her to find out about the truth, she only told me that he just doesn’t care… about anyone else. So I’m not going to stop caring about myself because then he wins
Great topic. I have stopped questioning myself. I am way above them now. I no longer care about any of the Narcs who were in my life. I am on my way to living my best life. Better late than never. I am healing and have the opportunity to live a great life.
I saw an interesting video about the analogy of placing a frog in hot water. .. the story goes that if u place a frog in hot water it will immediately jump out. However if u place it in cold water and heat it slowly it doesn't realize whats happening until it's too late. I could relate . I didn't see the abuse until it was too late as it happened gradually.
Hah! 😆If you can still make a few chuckles out of the mess, you're on your way to healthy healing if not already. My list had pro and con ratings-- some of the cons were 5 star Ugly Intensities. Unforgettable and cancels the 1 star pros.
Thanks, Andrew! I understand why I visit your channel every day. When you reveal all the tools and a way to re-adjust our thinking, it doesn't happen overnight and does take mental (or physical) practice. I can adhere to practicing one healing concept for a few days or a week and with a new video, I'm reminded other adjustments are just as important. Relinquishing excessive self-doubt formed in childhood or by the latest Narc experience will change the way you "carry yourself." No, not haughty arrogance, but a healthy self-assurance that makes you less a target for any predatory User Narc ( on any level of the spectrum ). I'm done with being taken advantage of.👐 🙏
What a powerhouse of a life changing statement 👍👍👍 You have & continue your work in defining a most valuable YOU! Through the pain...there is gain. So happy for you 💪💥☕☕👍
ThanQ Andrew,.. I've been watching your videos for a few years now and I'm glad to see you Schmile more,.. you have a Great Smile,.. My situation happened in February 2021 when I pulled the plug and divorced my Covert Narcissist,.. you and I are on the same Healing time line. I Appreciate your videos because they help me and I am Grateful that you do your videos. I did go down the rabbit hole learning about Narcissim with Dr. Les Carter, he's good.. Anywho,.. I wonder if you're Native, I am. Happy New Year Andrew.
Thank you, Andrew. Yes, I was always questioning myself. I'm glad, I got over that hurdle, and no longer reaching out to that person. Peace and Blessings, Andrew.
I have a narcissistic mother. This is my second time of going NC with her, and it’s even harder this time. I’m questioning myself like there’s no tomorrow. Thank you for addressing this topic. I realize that I’m in a trauma bond, and it’s really difficult to get out.
You are right Andrew it was what it was. God bless them because they need him badly. But most of all I feel great full for his grace because I have lived a full life good and bad.
When you stop questioning yourself... you know it was them and you have a choice to get away & begin the healing process. Walking through grief & all of its stages is to be expected. People are not aware of this & try to dodged the very necessary feelings that must be felt to heal properly. Best to Google grief to help you understand.💥🙏❤ Be Well, Be Wise 🌈🎀😘
All that "making excuses for them," you come to believe their bad behavior was justified in some way. Feeling, "Maybe it wasn't that bad ...?" is so common. No, it was worse than "Bad!" It was taking you apart, bit by bit. Nice to come up for air and stay breathing "fresh air!"🐬😀
@JHavaJoe2-m1z Our insides were giving us truth & we perhaps didn't know how to face it. So bizarre...as one lands in the depths of the entrapment! Relearning how to live is another process. I want my coffee & a treat...part of my new process. 👍💥☕☕😉
@@marieeakin8534 "We didn't know how to face it ..." These were mind games that were confusingly both slippery and sticky. This Narc info.was the key to sanity. ... That said, coffee and a treat sounds like you're living the way you want to live!! Hooray!👍🙌👏☕☕🍪
I guess I still need healing! I keep asking myself why didn’t I leave? I could have avoided all this hurt! The one thing that helps me is that I have 2 wonderful now grown children! It still hurts when you process the things the narcissist did to me. It can be draining. Thank you Andrew for your videos! I wish I found them sooner, but I’m so thankful I found them last March. 🙏🏻💜✨
Andrew, I love your silly-putty metaphor. I also love it when the hawks and squirrels and birdies visit you in the hills and forests you share with in your videos. Stay warm and God Bless you always as you so bless us.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You so put into words my thoughts, and perspective. Living through this currently while the new supply and he actively try to push me to act out of character, as well as put their situationship in my face. 12years married, 3 kids who don't understand, and constant manipulation and lies. This channel seriously helps bring clarity, thank you
Once I got the knowledge of the evil I was dealing with it was easy moving on from her… the healing for me, was and still is a year plus later, about trusting anyone… all I see is red flags…
Same here. I was discarded year ago and as you said, now I see red flags everywhere. Not sure if I can ever trust someone again. Have a feeling that I'll remain alone for the rest of my life...
I was questioning myself if the narcissist was going to get revenge on me is she gone forever will she come back this is something that I have to prepare for but I'm ready because when she calls me her call we'll go straight to my voicemail
Give yourself time. Someday you will be able to block her number, because you no longer care what message she leaves. It takes time, someday, you won't think about her, I know she is still there every second now, but there will be an hour here and there when she isn't, then she will fade. After twenty years I saw a picture of an ex today. He looked great, but I know what he really is. I'm sure Satan is a real looker too. Good luck to you.
Oh, my ex, was talking with me about how she had dated the male professor (wife has Cancer), who was more than 20 years older than her, and that it was a real mess, when this man’s young son (who she later dated, though at the time the boy did not know about his dads involvement with her), was of some aid, in this family moving out of the state. Oh, and this woman (aborted), the fathers child, a few years prior. Everyone knew about her pregnancy, (this woman loves attention). The male professor promised to house them and take care of them, …she just decided that as she has a son, she did not want to be a New mom again, etc. This woman was dating quite a few people …I was just another one, and yes…I am Lesbian.
The worst is the anxiety that stems from second guessing yourself. In time I've learned that worrying is a terrible use of imagination. That on every occasion you anticipate fear over something dreadful, it only becomes reality 8 percent of the time. If someone is filling your mind with fear or you're doing it to yourself, take a deep breath, relax, and turn your anxiety into curiosity. Think about the sense of relief over it never happening. If you can't do that really think about the outcome and you'll discover it's no where near as dreadful as your anxiety claims it will be
Starting to get lightbulb moments. They are now attempting to have control financially through court with a child. How do I get thru this? I won’t go back. Anyone have experience in this?
GVB 💜🔥♾️. Oddly enough, i have also come to believe in and trust My judgement 1st. 😮 I've just started noticing : Hey, My perceptions a.nd judgement calls are really good 😊. Why do I let this happen!? WISHFUL THINKING, THAT'S WHY!. Since it's never even occurred to me to treat people that Way, Why would anybody try to hurt me?? Well I trust myself , and my logic and gut feelings, now, with kindness and empathy... Put myself 1st, 2nd and 3rd!!😊
Yes it's cold! 23F wind chill feels like 9F. Hope you're a tad warmer down there. What is this, January? Used to cold and snow in New England but we got spoiled this fall.
I question myself all the time am I doing the right thing or isn't it wrong not to test the spirits to see right from wrong what would GOD do will he approve of the choice I made That is the only question I'm concerned about
miss her after our 28 years and I suppose she is narc but still trying to find some final proof of it. I would not hurt her , still trying to check UA-cam if I can change her status or help her and me together. I pray daily for my death because the life is hard without my wife. Every day I'm thinking if I'm narc too or not .... my God don't hear my prayers for my wife return or my quick death..... it is the same daily 5 months after discard . I know I'm not just one but probably I'm weakest man in the world
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
I don’t want to draw anyone to me! Who cares? You have to learn to validate yourself because as long as you need attention or want others to give you love then you’re in danger
I wouldn't say they are Academy Award winners, they are actors who star in a 1/2 star show, poorly scripted self starring show.It's just that the script is unfathomable, you can't make this stuff up it's so twisted. This is why we get duped, we fall for it. Because we care, we try to "understand" Once healed, studied & knowing that it's a facade, it's pathetic & always circulating.... it becomes very very easy to put up the hand & block the behavior from being received. Moving forward pull the switch or point machine moving the change & direction of the Narc wheels. Deciding for them which track they will no longer or should try to "use" 🥁
Once you do inventory on the relationship the truth comes out. You realize by looking at their flying monkeys 🐒 🙈 🙊 and the story's they tell about them you realize what you are in. 😅😅😅
The reason we who have endured these people CAN finish each other’s sentences: these people are controlled by certain demons. And that particular demonic spirit is the same in everyone it gets a foothold onto. Which is why thousands, hundreds of thousands of us ALL share pretty much the SAME stories.😧. There is no Narcissistic Manual on how to be one. 🫤. Yet doesn’t it seem as though there should be because these people say and do almost the same thing.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I feel like there are always two people inside every empath , the loving , forgiving , infinitely tolerant and loyal person , but way back in the background a tough , reliant survival self protector that hardly ever sees the light of day . When pushed too far , and we are under attack this secondary part of us FINALLY steps forward to save the other . This is often something wonderful that both ourselves AND THE NARC never saw coming !!! 😉💪❤️
It's our core. Cherish it, it is always there. Like you say, a long way in the background, and it normally only has to be called upon when we're hurting.
Glad you had the strength. It can get pretty tough, when you're put through the grinder.
So true. One of the narcs I knew told me I was "too nice" when I first met them. And I was so effing naive I believed that being nice was a good thing and that this person (at the time I didn't know they were a narc) appreciated me. But as time went on, there came a time when I got sick and didn't have energy for anything or to do anything for anyone else, I could barely take care of myself, and that is when the narc started having rage fits and yelling and screaming at me all the time when I needed to rest and be left alone. It was then I realized how evil the narc was and lacked any humanity. Once I realized that, I stopped being "too nice" and doing things for the narc. At that point, it was a matter of my survival and not dying ---- literally ------ and at that point i told the narc I can't help them, i need to rest, and for the narc to leave me alone. The narc hated that and started creating a lot of unnecessary drama, all of which I ignored as much as possible, and then finally months later my health improved, I was able to move out and leave the effing narc-----and the narc was shocked. effing narc. I had to call the police on the narc the day before I moved because of the narc's threatening behavior. I've been no contact since then and I hope the effing narc is suffering. And since then, I am careful to not be "too nice". The narc was probably already licking their chops and seeing me as an easy target. Lesson learned, I will never ever make the mistake again of being "too nice", I was so naive. But at the end of the day, enough was enough and my survival instincts finally kicked in and looking back at all the horrible abuse from the narc I am just shaking my head at what I endured and how in the world did I find the strength to get through it and get out.
@lindajh5672
And then..... you healed yourself. Isn't it great. Because deep down you're worth it. You have so much to offer. And you know it. There are going to be a fair few tricky situations for us all to figure out from now on, but one of them won't be, am I worth it?
Good luck....x
@grahamlawson5691 Thanks Graham! It is great, peace and quiet away from the narc, no drama, what a relief, and I realized who the f*** does the narc think they are that my life meant nothing to them --- literally I could have died - - - and all the narc cared about was what could I do for them. Despicable evil monsters. Yep, that is when I realized I am worth more than that. Older but wiser.
So correct! I'm working on never having to get pushed to the wall. Many times, I did see ugliness coming and got out of there, but even then I ignored too many red flags.
They are professional liars on top of everything
😌😌
They also want everyone else in your life to doubt you. They are talking about you behind your back. They are sprinkling just enough truth in there to make it appear believable. They pretend to be talking about you because they are concerned or caring.
💯 agreed!!
Hands down.
It’s craziness and chaos at all times. Still people will see these toxic people for who they are, no one actually wants to be with a narcissist if they would know what’s behind the mask
I am an empath and was targeted by a narcissist. I did feel something was wrong with him early on. I tried to break free from him so many times. Thankfully I never married him after he attempted to get me to do that one month in. I wish I had listened to myself. Those red flags were flying. Andrew when you speak it is as if we lived a parallel life. The hardest thing for me was to forgive myself for not wanting better for myself. If you never lived this then you really don't get it. These people crawl this Earth and inflict an immense amount of abuse to your mind and soul. I could never thank you enough Andrew. Best to everyone on their healing journey.
When you stop questioning yourself, everything changes. Thank you 🙏 God bless you ❤
Welcome..😌💜🙏
The Bad definitely outweighed the Good
The endless denials, forgiveness, rationalizations, shock, excuses, confusion and chronic false hopes, are trauma bonds. The narc, is really a threat on every level and a serious waste of time because in the end, you are winning nothing good.
I’m not questioning myself anymore. Listening to you videos every day is helping me ensure I stand my ground and stay in my power. It’s amazing to know there are so many people out there who have experience this and to know I’m not crazy and I am definitely not alone.Thank you 🙏🏻
I agree i would be in another kind of hell if there was not for Andrews peptalk and education information. I hope one day when this is all in the back mirror I can also inspire and help others in this crazy world with this kind of evil that lurks behind the curtains of reality. It's philosophy and I qoute to psykatrist Jordan Petersson" people with ptsd don.t have it because they are hurt" they have it because somone like the narcissist wanted to harm them. Many Sicentist want to close the eye to that fact but I know it as my truth that why you develop complex ptsd is because you meet to many people that have the traits of Dark Trihat.
I wanted a divorce the whole time I was married because I knew I was being mistreated but he convinced me I was mentally ill and couldn’t live without him. Well I’m doing a darn good job living without him now. I wish I left the first year I was married. Thirty years of marriage and I never felt loved. I thought it was me.
I was 31 years living in bizarre-o-world as well. I was 21 and he was 36, targeted me from the beginning then 5 months later he manipulated me into leaving my life and relocated and know now it was to isolate me so he could mold me into the clown slave. He discarded me Dec 2023 and I still struggle with the lies, cheating, smearing my name, etc.
Love and prayers for your continued peace and happiness.❤🙏🏻
@@JanetMitchell-y8i So sorry you had to go through that. Giving someone your whole life and they don’t even care is a form of betrayal. My ex acts like he’s not contacting me then I get mail he never changed his address. He acts like I abused him and all of my friends are gone along with my church. I divorced him because he said he wanted one. Had I realized I would have made him file. I’m free from all the childish games and lack of love. All I ever wanted was to be loved and take care of my husband like a wife should
The narc/demon/TOXIC PSYCHOPATH will NEVER have my trust EVER AGAIN.
GOD BLESS YOU ANDREW💜🙏🐑🥰🙌
Thank you Andrew, without these videos I’ve found from you and others it’s hard to tell where I would be. Being married to a covert narcissist of 29 toxic years has had me on deaths door more than once. I’m relieved that I found the needle . I’ve been no contact since Aug 22 of this year and I’m putting the work in. I’m alone and scared but I’ve just started counseling and really need to put myself back together. Thank you so much for your words. When no one believes you and you have been so neglected it really makes one loose there faith in people. I’m staying quiet in my cocoon and I’m going to work very hard to find myself again and thrive. Thanks again ❤
Nothing to fear but fear itself & you’re steps forward are dissolving it even though at times you feel afraid. I’m almost two years free & it’s amazing how much of my true self has been able to come forward but so much stronger now
@ inspiring ❤️
You got this. Hang in there and to your old self be true.
Your courage is admirable. Keep looking forward! You can do it!
Don't give up! Step by step. One love.
So many unbelievable, unimaginably cruel and twisted things they’ve said…but you chalk it off to “they’ve had a lot of trauma, their parents were abusive, they need time to trust, they’re just afraid…” and on and on and on, we made so many excuses. Now I look back and realize, no, there is no excuse and this isn’t normal… “ a man’s heart lies beneath his tongue”
😌😌🙏
So true👍
GREAT COMMENT
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the heart is deceitful above all else, who can know it?
They dont want you to Be your Authentic Self,,they want to Control you,and who you want to say hello to,,or who you want to spend time with,,freedom is Lovely,,we are.energy in Motion,,And they Hated us for being us,,,T.y. Andrew life is so peaceful Now,,,💜💜💜✨✨✨✨✨🤗
Welcome..⛰️😊💜🙏
They want your light under a basket because they are toxically envious of healthier souls, yet they don't want to put in the effort to get there themselves. It's too much work for them and they are comfortable controlling others to get what they want.
Becoming a more "authentic self" means a lot less stress for me. No need to boost a fake image, no need to prove anything to anyone. All wasted energy to fake it.
I feel much more peaceful.😊
"to the detriment of yourself" you know you finished Andrews sentence before he said it. Don't deny it, you know we speak the same language. We have been through the cycle. Dunked in the deep end of destruction and rose like a Phoenix. Namaste Andrew.🙇♀️🙇♂️
I do nothing but go in circles. Have to many people In my head...like literally multiple groups , including these contacts in my eyes....don't know who to trust in my head and times all I do is question myself and what I'm doing on a daily basis.....they destroyed me ..demasculated me now I'm dealing with these videos figuring my self out and trying to piece everything together......thanks for all you say and or do,, Helping me big time thru these rough timesss....thanks man!!!!!God Bless you!!!!Like a Guaridan Angel...lol
Welcome..🙏😌💜
You can’t win with them it takes to much energy
Powerful and helpful video.❤❤❤Love the background behind you too.
Thank you..😊💜⛰️
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 💜🌞💯
This information is true, and a critical part of my recovery has been taking responsibility for my own actions. Doing the inner work-through self-reflection and taking inventory-has been essential. I realized that moving forward without resentment was key. Holding onto resentment only keeps the trauma bond alive, and letting go of it has been incredibly freeing. The process takes time.
Excellent talk, Andrew. Thank you! 😊 They harm anyone in anyway they need to serve their twisted purposes.
I don't think I really questioned myself, it was more that I didn't understand what I was seeing. My narc ex would work so much overtime that it made her sick, yet she loved it. Did she need the money, no, it was the praise she got for working so much from coworkers. I also couldn't understand why her family had so many bad things happen to them, it was like they lived under a black cloud !
Love you Andrew!
Never stop believing in yourself!
When I was with my narcissist, there was no information about narcissism.
Every time I researched his behavior, it came back as someone on drugs.
In the last couple of years of the relationship, I discovered he was a drug addict, alcoholic!
Only when I came across you did I realize, he was a narcissistic, drug addict, alcoholic! Ha! Joke on me!
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He was a narcissist first and used drugs and alcohol to cope with his low self esteem. Jokes on him haha! He’s the loser, you got out!
I questioned myself with all narcissists in my life historically until the day I didn't with each one for different reasons. I heard a man say this. The narcissist lays spider eggs in your head when they have a conversation. You think everything's okay, but somehow you felt something wasn't quite right in what was said. You stepped away and days after, each spider egg hatches, one at a time. You realize that the spider eggs hatching is the long term effect of one conversation. That's an earmark of a narcissist for me now. When I have a conversation and later there were those eggs hatching. The wondering of the motives, inuendo, misperceptions, the spider eggs hatching. You realize it every time you spoke to them, you got further away, it happened more and more. Your awareness just growing of those lies and word games, mind games, manipulation games. Thank God they are all gone!!
Thank you for sharing..😌🙏💜⛰️
My goodness...your words helped me so deeply. I was raised in horrible foster homes. How could that person hurt me so deeply; so I began to pray. Then only then then did my awayness begin. Just sending you much thanks🪶🕊️
I appreciate your Wisdom, Michael.Narcissist and manipulators are everywhere.Thank you very much.
No questioning any more. But To become the third version after Been abused in family, by husband and last partner, it’s a lifelong healing, changing and stay out! Once out no way back possible! 🙏 for daily’s!!
Thank you for this great video, Andrew, on when we stopped doubting ourselves! I doubted myself somewhat before I was in the narc relationship and then doubted myself so much more about absolutely everything in the narc relationship. It was a blessing on the healing path when I stopped doubting myself and trusted myself again in a deeper way for the first time in my life.
Andrew mentioned making a Pros and Cons List of the narcissistic relationship as a tool to heal. It is a veryeffective tool to really open your eyes and see the narc relationship for what it actually was. Namaste 🙏 💖
It wasn’t a relationship at all! The narcissist was manipulating a sick situation to destroy you like a parasite on its host
Hi Holly, I hope you are warm and cozy!☃️❄️💞
The creature I was involved with (business partner) actually tried to tell me there was a difference between 20% and 1/5th. My jaw literally dropped. He actually tried to argue the point. My brain was scrambled by the end.
This is real, been 2 years. I used to think it can’t be me. For the others, it can be you. The sooner you accept it the sooner you recover, at least for me. What did it for me was experiencing it again. It’s like being a child and burning your finger on the stove once and not realizing why the pain came after the burn and damage was done. The next time you learn not to touch hot surfaces. It’s not easy, but now recognizable.
Looks like he is making an effort to leave of his own will. If so this is an answer to prayer. Gratitude!!!
“I was mistaken” is how I state it to myself whenever my mind returns to the state of cognitive dissonance… he fooled nearly everyone except his ‘crazy’ ex wife. When I finally called her to find out about the truth, she only told me that he just doesn’t care… about anyone else. So I’m not going to stop caring about myself because then he wins
Great topic. I have stopped questioning myself. I am way above them now. I no longer care about any of the Narcs who were in my life. I am on my way to living my best life. Better late than never. I am healing and have the opportunity to live a great life.
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I saw an interesting video about the analogy of placing a frog in hot water. .. the story goes that if u place a frog in hot water it will immediately jump out. However if u place it in cold water and heat it slowly it doesn't realize whats happening until it's too late. I could relate . I didn't see the abuse until it was too late as it happened gradually.
I wrote a pros and cons list while the video was playing. I had 5 pros but ran out of paper on the cons side!
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Same but I only had 3 on the pro list 😬🙃
Hah! 😆If you can still make a few chuckles out of the mess, you're on your way
to healthy healing if not already. My list had pro and con ratings-- some of the cons were 5 star Ugly Intensities. Unforgettable and cancels the 1 star pros.
@@JHavaJoe2-m1z it’s funny but every one of my pros had a related con that canceled it out.
Andrew, how do you know exactly what happened to me? It’s insane how narcissists are cut from the same cloth.
They all are controlled by the same guy. The reprobate is a lost soul.
It's like they all go to narc conventions!😂
Yes "an extension of them" 💯
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Thanks, Andrew! I understand why I visit your channel every day. When you reveal all the tools and a way to re-adjust our thinking, it doesn't happen overnight and does take mental (or physical) practice. I can adhere to practicing one healing concept for a few days or a week and with a new video, I'm reminded other adjustments are just as important. Relinquishing excessive self-doubt formed in childhood or by the latest Narc experience will change the way you "carry yourself." No, not haughty arrogance, but a healthy self-assurance that makes you less a target for any predatory User Narc ( on any level of the spectrum ). I'm done with being taken advantage of.👐 🙏
@@JHavaJoe2-m1z Yes
The first healing begins in your heart. Not easy but much better than hating to exist in your heart.
What a powerhouse of a life changing statement 👍👍👍
You have & continue your work in defining a most valuable YOU! Through the pain...there is gain. So happy for you 💪💥☕☕👍
"Healthy self-assurance" is very attractive in a man.
ThanQ Andrew,.. I've been watching your videos for a few years now and I'm glad to see you Schmile more,.. you have a Great Smile,..
My situation happened in February 2021 when I pulled the plug and divorced my Covert Narcissist,.. you and I are on the same Healing time line.
I Appreciate your videos because they help me and I am Grateful that you do your videos.
I did go down the rabbit hole learning about Narcissim with Dr. Les Carter, he's good..
Anywho,.. I wonder if you're Native, I am. Happy New Year Andrew.
Thank you for sharing..😌💜⛰️✨
Thank you, Andrew. Yes, I was always questioning myself. I'm glad, I got over that hurdle, and no longer reaching out to that person. Peace and Blessings, Andrew.
Welcome..🙏💜😌
Andrew I'm struggling even though I've got girls after me I still love the narc
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@@JHavaJoe2-m1z I'll see mate. My friend says she's someone else problem now not mine. But still want her to be my problem to fix 😭
It's so painful.💔
Thank you Andrew ❤
A new day begins.....getting further along my healing path ❤😊xx
I have a narcissistic mother. This is my second time of going NC with her, and it’s even harder this time. I’m questioning myself like there’s no tomorrow. Thank you for addressing this topic. I realize that I’m in a trauma bond, and it’s really difficult to get out.
Welcome..🙏💜😌
You are right Andrew it was what it was. God bless them because they need him badly. But most of all I feel great full for his grace because I have lived a full life good and bad.
When you stop questioning yourself... you know it was them and you have a choice to get away & begin the healing process. Walking through grief & all of its stages is to be expected. People are not aware of this & try to dodged the very necessary feelings that must be felt to heal properly. Best to Google grief to help you understand.💥🙏❤
Be Well, Be Wise 🌈🎀😘
All that "making excuses for them," you come to believe their bad behavior was justified in some way.
Feeling, "Maybe it wasn't that bad ...?" is so common. No, it was worse than "Bad!" It was taking you apart, bit by bit. Nice to come up for air and stay breathing "fresh air!"🐬😀
@JHavaJoe2-m1z
Our insides were giving us truth & we perhaps didn't know how to face it. So bizarre...as one lands in the depths of the entrapment! Relearning how to live is another process.
I want my coffee & a treat...part of my new process. 👍💥☕☕😉
@@marieeakin8534 "We didn't know how to face it ..." These were mind games that were confusingly both slippery and sticky. This Narc info.was the key to sanity. ... That said, coffee and a treat sounds like you're living the way you want to live!! Hooray!👍🙌👏☕☕🍪
Marie, you would be a good life coach!
I trust my tuition Andrew and I'm usually right, thank you for your infinite wisdom 😊
I guess I still need healing! I keep asking myself why didn’t I leave? I could have avoided all this hurt! The one thing that helps me is that I have 2 wonderful now grown children! It still hurts when you process the things the narcissist did to me. It can be draining. Thank you Andrew for your videos! I wish I found them sooner, but I’m so thankful I found them last March. 🙏🏻💜✨
You didn't leave because they try to make you afraid to leave. Afraid you can't do it on your own. Baloney, of course.
A good part of you may have stayed for the kids. You had responsibility and integrity, the Narc made sure you forgot you had it.
Andrew, I love your silly-putty metaphor. I also love it when the hawks and squirrels and birdies visit you in the hills and forests you share with in your videos. Stay warm and God Bless you always as you so bless us.
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Yes I saw the silly puddy being used for different supply sources along the way. It was bizarre.
Keep shining kind human😊 you're helping many Andrew 😊🙏❤️🔥
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I have been binge watching Andrews videos lately old and new. Crash course in Narcissistic abuse recovery.
Never knew the crazy things my mom used to do had a name Narcissism,the crazy things she did to me & my sister,now I know 😎
Brilliant work andrew thanks ❤
Welcome..🙏💜😌
How to thank you Andrew...No words, just still believing in a Bird's song at dawn. Thank You🪶🪶
Amazing!!!!@@JaniceDeeter-hd3yq
❤❤@@JaniceDeeter-hd3yq
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You so put into words my thoughts, and perspective. Living through this currently while the new supply and he actively try to push me to act out of character, as well as put their situationship in my face. 12years married, 3 kids who don't understand, and constant manipulation and lies.
This channel seriously helps bring clarity, thank you
Welcome..😌🙏💜
Academy Award-winning 😮14:32 14:33
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Those good times were just grooming for obtaining some benefits
When they tell you they are not happy let them go find happy and heal. Never question what you know just let it go.
P.s. silly putty😊yea a trip down memory lane,,,How Accurate Andrew,t.y.💜💜🎋🌟
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Thank you Andrew for you content therapy especially today🙏✨
Once I got the knowledge of the evil I was dealing with it was easy moving on from her… the healing for me, was and still is a year plus later, about trusting anyone… all I see is red flags…
Same here. I was discarded year ago and as you said, now I see red flags everywhere. Not sure if I can ever trust someone again.
Have a feeling that I'll remain alone for the rest of my life...
very great topic you look cozy andrew😊❤
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Excellent Andrew - so many truths!
Great topic and the details are absolutely spot on. Thank you so much, dear Andrew. 🌸
Welcome..🙏💜😌
I was questioning myself if the narcissist was going to get revenge on me is she gone forever will she come back this is something that I have to prepare for but I'm ready because when she calls me her call we'll go straight to my voicemail
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Give yourself time. Someday you will be able to block her number, because you no longer care what message she leaves. It takes time, someday, you won't think about her, I know she is still there every second now, but there will be an hour here and there when she isn't, then she will fade. After twenty years I saw a picture of an ex today. He looked great, but I know what he really is. I'm sure Satan is a real looker too. Good luck to you.
I am using my husband's calls, texts, and voicemails as evidence to keep him away from me but I am maintaining no contact.
Oh, my ex, was talking with me about how she had dated the male professor (wife has Cancer), who was more than 20 years older than her, and that it was a real mess, when this man’s young son (who she later dated, though at the time the boy did not know about his dads involvement with her), was of some aid, in this family moving out of the state. Oh, and this woman (aborted), the fathers child, a few years prior. Everyone knew about her pregnancy, (this woman loves attention). The male professor promised to house them and take care of them, …she just decided that as she has a son, she did not want to be a New mom again, etc. This woman was dating quite a few people …I was just another one, and yes…I am Lesbian.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, BROTHER!!!!!🎉 🎉🎉 Great message, I caught myself ruminating again..... this is a beautiful reminder. Much Love!
Have slowed right down. Processing and healing. Bit by bit.. Love Gen X ! Thank you love and appreciate you! 😊 ,🙏
Really good video Andrew! I learned a few things and I put some pieces together. I appreciate you.
THANK YOU😢
I love your videos you have helped me so much xo your a complete vibe and meditation 🧘🏻♀️ please keep making videos.
Been reading Andrews videos and without his help i wouldnt be here anymore
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@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Bless you Andrew 🙏 ❤️
Thank you Andrew still with you 3 years on .
Me too! Always learning and growwing😊
Thanks Andrew for your information 🙂👍
God bless you, Andrew!❤
The worst is the anxiety that stems from second guessing yourself.
In time I've learned that worrying is a terrible use of imagination.
That on every occasion you anticipate fear over something dreadful, it only becomes reality 8 percent of the time.
If someone is filling your mind with fear or you're doing it to yourself, take a deep breath, relax, and turn your anxiety into curiosity.
Think about the sense of relief over it never happening. If you can't do that really think about the outcome and you'll discover it's no where near as dreadful as your anxiety claims it will be
Yes sir ❤
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😊❤😊 right on point!
Thank you for paying it forward.👏
Welcome..🙏💜😌
Always check in with ya just to remind myself....this video was the best one Andrew has ever done. 💯. Needed this one.
Very well explained 👏🏻
Thank you
The path to fully healing is through our lord and savior Jesus Christ! Amen ❤
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❤❤Thank you Nicholas ❤❤I can never get enough help.. YOUR AWESOME 😎
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The silly putty example is spot on.
putty
🌻thank you
Starting to get lightbulb moments. They are now attempting to have control financially through court with a child. How do I get thru this? I won’t go back. Anyone have experience in this?
GVB 💜🔥♾️. Oddly enough, i have also come to believe in and trust My judgement 1st. 😮 I've just started noticing : Hey, My perceptions a.nd judgement calls are really good 😊. Why do I let this happen!? WISHFUL THINKING, THAT'S WHY!. Since it's never even occurred to me to treat people that Way, Why would anybody try to hurt me?? Well I trust myself , and my logic and gut feelings, now, with kindness and empathy... Put myself 1st, 2nd and 3rd!!😊
Yes it's cold! 23F wind chill feels like 9F. Hope you're a tad warmer down there. What is this, January? Used to cold and snow in New England but we got spoiled this fall.
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U are super
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I question myself all the time am I doing the right thing or isn't it wrong not to test the spirits to see right from wrong what would GOD do will he approve of the choice I made That is the only question I'm concerned about
Gr8 Vid!!!!
Can you discuss when the narcissist remarries and you feel angry and betrayed ? 😮
miss her after our 28 years and I suppose she is narc but still trying to find some final proof of it. I would not hurt her , still trying to check UA-cam if I can change her status or help her and me together. I pray daily for my death because the life is hard without my wife. Every day I'm thinking if I'm narc too or not .... my God don't hear my prayers for my wife return or my quick death..... it is the same daily 5 months after discard . I know I'm not just one but probably I'm weakest man in the world
Thank you Andrew!
there was a time when i kept wondering why some people seemed to naturally draw others in while i was just…there. no matter what i tried, i couldn’t figure out how they did it. then someone mentioned the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, and i decided to check it out. the way it explains how your aura affects everything around you? it blew me away. it’s like having a secret code to unlock your magnetic energy. this book is a game-changer.
I don’t want to draw anyone to me! Who cares? You have to learn to validate yourself because as long as you need attention or want others to give you love then you’re in danger
Questioning myself is a daily occurrence .
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Don't let them win
Once you get away, and have some space, you can reverse engineer the whole relationship. The good, the, the bad, and the badder..... XXX
Still questioning me with c-ptsd after marrige with covert narcissist. Disscard in June 2023 is it normal to be a mesh 1.5 yrs later ?
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I wouldn't say they are Academy Award winners, they are actors who star in a 1/2 star show, poorly scripted self starring show.It's just that the script is unfathomable, you can't make this stuff up it's so twisted. This is why we get duped, we fall for it. Because we care, we try to "understand" Once healed, studied & knowing that it's a facade, it's pathetic & always circulating.... it becomes very very easy to put up the hand & block the behavior from being received. Moving forward pull the switch or point machine moving the change & direction of the Narc wheels. Deciding for them which track they will no longer or should try to "use" 🥁
Pathetic. exactly. Won't give them the same energy as my favourite directors anymore.
Once you do inventory on the relationship the truth comes out. You realize by looking at their flying monkeys 🐒 🙈 🙊 and the story's they tell about them you realize what you are in. 😅😅😅
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You know how to tell the real deal from the phoney. They did the same thing only with their hands tied behind their back. 😅😅😅😅
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They actually wanted to see you destroyed and I know that now.
The reason we who have endured these people CAN finish each other’s sentences: these people are controlled by certain demons. And that particular demonic spirit is the same in everyone it gets a foothold onto. Which is why thousands, hundreds of thousands of us ALL share pretty much the SAME stories.😧. There is no Narcissistic Manual on how to be one. 🫤. Yet doesn’t it seem as though there should be because these people say and do almost the same thing.
It's freaky!!!😮
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