Yeah, those lads deserved more credit~ this video would have never succeeded had it not been for those boys who were as charming as they were lethal! Seriously, no neck breaks required they were the one shot wonder weapon.
@@jameskimbrell6544I was speaking about the screw drivers. The first time jack couldn't split more than two people up he used screw drivers. Thanks by the way, have a good day!
24:50 Thats gotta be one of the best coincidence ever, the music ended as soon as Jack successfully killed everyone in the map with Newspapers and muffins This also feels like a Horror comedy movie/show, where the Protagonist just goes around killing random innocent people and it’s primary targets
Jack: "Look at them all. Having fun. Enjoying themselves. Makes me sick." Me: "Slow down there, Grinch. Let's get over Thanksgiving before we get to Christmas."
24:48 I know I'm years late, but the hilarity of Jack killing the last of the people in the map as the song crescendos with the lyrics "Who's got the last laugh now?" is just too freaking perfect.
"Is that someone dragging a dead body?" 47, bloody Newspaper and Screwdriver in hand "Dont worry, thats just my brother, had too much to drink at the party!"
Yeah haha, I was reciting the ASDF clip about Larry needing to stop snapping peoples necks. lmao. "Larry, this is an intervention - You need to stop snapping peoples necks." "Whaddaya talkin' about?" *snaps neck* "LARRY!" "What?" *snaps another neck* "LARRRYYYY!!!!?!?!!!!!" *snaps last neck*
Kork Corc really, that was obviously not me trying to be smart, it was a joke. If your sense of humor is so dry that a comeback makes you so pissed off, try a different site. Something like Facebook might be better for you. Have fun.
So it's been 3 years since I watched this video. Time flies. Random story but I'll type it mostly just to remind myself how a simple quirky video got me through a tough situation. 3 years ago I was having the worst anxiety attack in my apartment, all by myself just me and my thoughts, nauseous and out of breath, felt like I was going to die and I went on UA-cam to find something to distract me. This video came up on my explore page for God knows what reason, I played it on my phone as I struggled to get myself back together. All I could hear was this guy's voice and his laughter. The more I heard him enjoying his time I began to feel better. Until finally, I could breathe and process my thoughts. 3 years since that day. And I finally stumbled up with this video, searching endlessly for a hitman gameplay of a guy hitting NPCs with newspaper. Well that's it, thanks Jacksepticeye for unknowingly helping a dude fighting for his life against his own demons 3 years ago lol.
Newspaper deflects bullet off into the distance than jack throws it and it impales through the girls skull and jack tries to hide the body in a mail box.
BREAKING NEWS! Like this video or I'll hit you with a newspaper!
jacksepticeye ok
oKay
I already liked the video, please don't kill me with a newspaper
K
Do more Subnautica it updated
Guy: *Sees muffins lying on the ground* "What completely irresponsible person would leave a weapon lying around*
I'd be I know right it's so hahah lol random
@@TheLuckyLuke314 uhhh... what?
It’s irresponsible to leave your chocolate chip weapons lying around and you can trust your local weapon stand, I want to live there
Oh I thought there was an actual weapon among the muffins lol
im a weapon?
24:06
Man: "Someone killed some people over there!"
Jack: "oH nO, what are we gonna dooo?"
Man: "Throw up?"
Talk about comedic timing. 😂
🤣
That’s both funny and scary, bc it feels like the man heard him...
Oh noooo
Jack 2015: NO WITNESSES
Jack 2019: No witnesses
Jack 2021: *NO WITNESSES*
true
Jack in 2031: all witnesses are dead
This is very accurate
Dead men tell no tales.
Me when playing Red Dead
Jack: have you heard the news?
Everyone: *runs for their lives*
Run awaaaaay
they won't have enough time to scream, they'll already be dead
@@crimsonflare13 *THE FASTEST PAPER IN THE WEST*
Jack: “I’m going to kill everyone and put them in the sewer. “
Pennywise: “damn. This place got room service now?”
Just an Ewok with internet access I like the like count
XD
Sorry pennywise
I can just imagine like throwing a corpse down and hearing
"Aah the meal has arrived?
@@TH3M3_ i
Mission objective : Eliminate Janus, Nolan Cassidy
Jack : eliminates the whole neighborhood and fades away into the sewers
Pulling a reverse Pennywise
Oh no! Your dead!
"Breaking news: it's your neck"
LMAO THIS NEEDS MORE LIKES
WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE LIKES
no no LMAO WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE COMMENTS
🎩🌄🎮
braking news your dead haha
*Jack Vibe-Check's people for 26 minutes*
I feel like this could easily be a silly horror movie. The tagline: "Extra, extra.... DIE all about it!'
Or, "What's black and white and DEAD all over?" 😉
Dee L my heart
@@deel2167 This entire thing is an incredible idea omg
i would love that movie
BREAKING news
I find myself always messing around, never finishing missions in this game. The sandbox type element of this game is truly fantastic.
Jack: I don’t want to rush in and kill people normally
Me: As if killing people is normal in the first place
What do you mean? Isn’t killing people normal....?
It isn’t?? Oh…whoops…
@@Cyanide_Surprise 😑🤦🏻♂️😒
@@raidenbabin726 😒🤦🏻♂️😑
wow😒🤦🏻♂️😑
"I just killed everybody with newspapers and muffins."
Sad screwdriver noises
Yeah, those lads deserved more credit~ this video would have never succeeded had it not been for those boys who were as charming as they were lethal! Seriously, no neck breaks required they were the one shot wonder weapon.
There was a screwdriver kill, though
And one lone apple hangs its head.
@@rockysmith6105 I have no idea what you mean but i agree
@@jameskimbrell6544I was speaking about the screw drivers. The first time jack couldn't split more than two people up he used screw drivers. Thanks by the way, have a good day!
"You get your news and then you go into the hole!"- Jacksepticeye
Jack: Guns are scary and they kill people
Also Jack: Kills someone with a newspaper
Someone??
I think it's everyone
Almost as if that was the joke.
"It seems he was hit repeatedly with a blunt object...:"
"the weapon?"
'a newspaper..."
*gasp*
"How can you tell?"
"His face is an exact copy of yesterday's morning newspaper printed on it."
"This is a newspaper."
"Dear God!"
"But wait, there's more!"
"NO!"
@@samsonguy10k I love that meme 💀
jack: hits someone with newspaper
jack: TOP OF MORNINGGGGGG
BREAKING NEWS!
PLS FAV MINE
Completely normal ass
@@RJ-xz4ku don't beg for favorites.
كزتك،&-،،-،-،-،-،-،-،-،-،٢٦٨١٩٩٨١٧٢٧٢٦٢٦٢٧٢٩١٩٩+&-؛تريزيجيه ١على
Character: *unintentionally dabs in death*
Jack: *HE DABBED!!!!!!!!*
That got me..lol
on the jacksepticeye variety channel memes never die lol
I nutted.
12:51
Diana: Remember: A True Assassin NEVER calls attention to himself.
Jack: a TRUe AsSaSsIn NeVeR CaLlS aTtEntiOn tO hImSElF.
woah u watched the video too?
Well if this spelling means anything, than at least he was quieter when saying never.
A true assassin can kill a whole village with a newspaper
24:50 Thats gotta be one of the best coincidence ever, the music ended as soon as Jack successfully killed everyone in the map with Newspapers and muffins
This also feels like a Horror comedy movie/show, where the Protagonist just goes around killing random innocent people and it’s primary targets
*sees treehouse*
Normal people: Ooo a treehouse
Jacksepticeye: Ooo a newspaper sniper tower!
Sniper towers are great
Luke S. especially with newspapers
@@S_T_0_R_M. ...... with a good tiding.
And a real gun
Or a slingshot with newspaper...
9:00 I don't think he noticed, but he literally got an achievement called 'Breaking News'.
That is wonderful lmao
👌
I noticed USA Today. MaMiDraaa.. Ma'am m0 Grams. That hurts! Thanks!
5:44 This episode is just 26 minutes of silly shit XD
Jack: "Look at them all. Having fun. Enjoying themselves. Makes me sick."
Me: "Slow down there, Grinch. Let's get over Thanksgiving before we get to Christmas."
Imagine just being at your house and a guy comes around and knocks you out with muffins and a newspaper.😂
Then he snaps your neck whilst your knocked out and kicks you down a manhole
Sounds like a lovely afternoon!
I would thoroughly welcome that
@@JuStDoNtRaG3 *barricades my house into a fortress* how about no
Hahahaha
Jack: doesnt post hitman for a while
Me: *saddness noises*
Jack: randomly posts hitman video
Me: *happieness noises*
DON DON DON😱
4:59
Guy: “Ow- hey, stop! Are you ever going to run out of muffins?”
Agent 47: “No, I work at ze muffin factory!”
Nice comment clone
😂😂😂😂😂
ASDF lol 😂
ASDF movie hahah 🤣🤣
Nice
The game: “this is valuable information”
Jack: *running around in circles* “LOOK AT MY COOL, NEW ROBE”
Kareena Kohli YOU’RE A WIZARD JACKEY
Jack pelting a man with muffins while super intense music plays in the background was absolutely magical, 10/10 game, would muffin again
No one:
Random old guy: “I remember the first time I had a blueberry muffin.”
I wish I could remember the first time I had a blueberry muffin. 😋 If that was a memory, it would have been one gooooooood muffin.
I wish i could remember my first cupcake
some Irish bastard starts chucking it at people. we don't know where he went, but we're cautious with this one too
*we can't risk it, not again*
*ok boomer*
I only remember my first muff.
"Whoops! My finger slipped!!"
Throws newspapers at the speed of light.
"My fInGeR sLiPPeD aGAin''"
Must have some butter fingers
@@JustSomeLemon-IshLimes lol
@@JustSomeLemon-IshLimes Molten butter
"Hugh Janus"
- Jack 2019
@Dylan Johnson I'm sorry but yes it kinda is
actually I'm pretty sure he picked that from the last F&F xD
Z-Twinturbo this is like a common ass joke jack definitely didn’t come up with it
I don’t get it
Yeah it's a pretty old joke lol..
Alternate title, “Deranged bald man wearing suit goes around terrorising neighbourhood with newspaper.”
Or ceremonial robe. Or the Muffin Man's clothes.
The muffin man?
@@charlesthewoodchuck THE MUFFIN MAN!
@@charlesthewoodchuck the one who lives on drury lane?
@@williamshakespeare987 well she’s married to the muffin man
A whole new meaning for “Toss” Boy 😂
Hahahaha
Toss boy is from this serise
Toss boy thumbnail quote because why not.
*"I DUG YOUR GRAVE"*
Tell me why
ba dum *TSSSS*
12:59 Only OG's from Totally Accurate Battle Simulator remember this.
Jack should bring back TABS it was my favourite series ngl
HE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB!!!!!!
John Wick who killed 3 people with a pencil: _Ah, my true successor_
A beauty at its finest
john wick kills 3 men in a bar with a pencil but jack kills a hole town with a newspaper
Jack is the actual John wick
Sry to be a smartass but it’s spelled “whole town” just for future reference
@@lupineye141 yes but the have a resident Mr. Hue Janus
“I can’t capuchupur”
-Jack 2019
Yes
He did say that
Yes
@aoife knowd we all call him jack so no matter
Nobody:
Jack when he sees a mirror: *pep talk mode engages*
You... are... speed...
Sifter 2K I am kerchoo
@@shiblizaman6628 Hi kerchoo, I am dad.
Is this why dogs bark at mailmen? Because they know what they're capable of.
The dogs knew and they've been trying to warn us the whole time...why didn't we listen?
@M.B some kid in that vault in that one house: (leaves) mom, dad, has anyone seen mom or dad... where is everyone?
👏👏👌👌👍👍
I read this as Jack whispered "it's time to deliver the news😉"
Yep.
24:48 I know I'm years late, but the hilarity of Jack killing the last of the people in the map as the song crescendos with the lyrics "Who's got the last laugh now?" is just too freaking perfect.
Jack: "I Killed An Entire Village With A Newspaper"
Me: " it is for the greater good"
*the greater good*
That's what I thought too 😂😂
Is that a hot fuzz reference
THE GREATER GOOD
SHUT IT!!
I love that director😍
4:58 "ARE YOU EVER GONNA RUN OUT OF MUFFINS"
"no,because i work at ze muffin factory"
I get the reference good sir.
@@Slendazzz HUZZAH!A MAN OF QAULITY
@@pewgun7832 damn right.
Yes yes yes..
Those good old days..
@@pewgun7832 qaulity
Jack: “into the sewer you go because you’re trash”
Chuck: “he’ll never take me alive”
THE RETURN OF CHUCK!😰
EVERYONE RUN CHUCK IS COMING
Imagine seeing Jack in person with a screwdriver and newspaper in hand and having fear grip your heart as his head turns your way.
Shit just got FUCKIN REAL
Jack: *_"bREAKING NEWS_*_ _*_*throws newspaper*_*
Imagine if salesmen did that
Well, over population wouldn’t be a problem anymore.
Xx_sirpotatosalad_xX your reply is better than the actual comment XD
Trishiee V go back to gravity falls
Car salesman: A HUGE CAR SALE **throws car**
Jack is way too GD hysterical! It Should be illegal 🤣😂
“Oh my god, I can knock people out with newspaper-“
**realization**
*”I HAVE FOUND MY PURPOSE.”*
Please play borderlands 3
Seán: "Steals newspapers from houses"
Also Seán: "These people have not been given the news yet"
people: "man, kids these days don't know what a news paper is"
Jack: "!" *Kills people with Newspapers*
More like” BREAKING NEWS. And then what u said
Why did I read the "!" With the MGS alert sound LMAO
"Is that someone dragging a dead body?"
47, bloody Newspaper and Screwdriver in hand "Dont worry, thats just my brother, had too much to drink at the party!"
Jack: “Guns are scary, they kill people”
Also Jack: “In the hole you go”
Jack: guns are scary, they kill people
Ted Bundy: guns don't kill people. I kill people
jack: my name is shaun bro
@@jacklfirth spelled Sean
Justin Fernandez there’s a few ways to spell it and couldn’t be bothered checking which one lol
So we raise a hole awareness meeting
Jack: "I don't wanna just rush in and kill people normally"
*Now killing people is normal*
Of course it is, what do you do in your spare time?
@@brinonymousredacted3809 I just torture them and let them go with life lasting trauma. No need to be rude and kill them.
@@arathoras12 I was always taught to take no prisoners. They're so needy, y'know?
This is america
@@arathoras12 but when you kill them you can lure in more when they come looking for them, its a self sustaining hobby.
12:57 Jack: that was a little dramatic.
Also Jack: HE DAAAAAB-
5:03 "are u ever gonna run out of muffins"
"no,becase i work at the muffin factory"
Asdf movie reference lol well done
If u know u know
Me: *Wearing headphones*
Jack: HE DABBED
Me: GODDAMMIT MY EARS
Media: "Video games cause violence!"
Jack: "I could be called the muffin man!"
Proceeds to knock a man unconcious by pelting him with muffins
5:44 This episode is just 26 minutes of silly shit XD
Nobody:
Jack this whole episode: *NON TARGET KILLED*
😂👍🏿Jack🤏🏿
“Guns are scary guns kill people”
3 mins before:HE DAAAAAAABED
Edit:”guns are scary guns kill people”
*Meanwhile wipes out an entire neighbor hood*
OMg LoL
🤣
Power Healer xD happy u enjoyed the joke
Yeah so? He dabbed so what?
2) what the actual hell is wrong with u??!?! ☝🏼
Neef have u watched the whole vid tho? XD (I recommend u to watch it and with headphones up to full volume)[xD just kidding don’t tho]
RTGame: **kills everyone with blueberry muffins**
Jacksepticeye: "Amma wreck this whole man's career"
Exactly
RtGame is the first Muffin Man
@@ignitedfury4795 and @puppypasta finally a man of culture
was looking for this exact comment
Irishman v Irishman
"Killed an entire village with a newspaper". Well, this will be awkward for the headlines of the next morning's paper....
This is the real reason paper production is at an all time high. Seán feels the urge to deliver some breaking news all the time
Anyone else notice how wholesome jack is, even when he's murdering an entire village, he still stays whole
"Wholseome"
@@Jroobelucios i gothcu
i love how jack manages to complete games while doing it all wrong and making it harder for himself and i cant do it while playing normaly
Person: “Do you ever run out of muffins”
Jack: “No *because* *I* *work* *at* *ze* *muffin* *factory* “
Yeah haha, I was reciting the ASDF clip about Larry needing to stop snapping peoples necks. lmao. "Larry, this is an intervention - You need to stop snapping peoples necks." "Whaddaya talkin' about?" *snaps neck* "LARRY!" "What?" *snaps another neck* "LARRRYYYY!!!!?!?!!!!!" *snaps last neck*
whered you put all the bodies
IN THE HOLE
wow i actually didnt know that
LMAO asdf movies
ASDF
imagine the news headline "entire neighborhood popilation found dead in sewers all appear to have wounds inflicted by newspapers"
12:56
"When you got knocked the F out but you gotta stay LIT"
Jack: “Now i am the deputy. Now i am the Police Officer”
The voice in my head:
“I AM THE CAPTAIN NOW”
XD love it
look at me
sure
Look at me
Sure
I am the captain now.
Narrator: "This is valuable information, 47. Good work."
Jack: "I go wooshy woosh"
"breaking news"
"actually the only news that is breaking is your neck"
that CRACKED me up XD
☝🏿 Hunting. ☝🏿 BOBBI.-GOGOGOGOOD🤔 Bonn. 🙂
Pft
The only thing cracking up are the roads here
*XDDX*
"I can't capuchupur"
Why am I dying after this intro? 😂😂
Jack hit u with Newspaper
Jack: *puts people in oven and talks about how he makes good meat casseroles*
Me: it's like sweeney Todd all over again-
Sweeney Todd made pies 🥧 🤔
I mean with the price of meat, what it is, when you get it, if you get it
Kork Corc really, that was obviously not me trying to be smart, it was a joke. If your sense of humor is so dry that a comeback makes you so pissed off, try a different site. Something like Facebook might be better for you. Have fun.
Horrible Pineapple I thought the same thing. I love the Johnny Depp movie.
5:58
"Newspaper kills!"
-Newspapers the next morning.
*Everyone starts to burn newspapers after reading it*
@Saber Turbo I already do that anyway. Not for the same reasons but I still do it
@@jennybeeT lol May I ask why?
@Henti_Haven because it makes warmth for one and for two 'cause it looks cool
And so..the newspaper were used in world war 3 a missiles
“What kind of irresponsible person would leave a weapon lying around?” *picks up muffin*
John wick: kills man with a pencil
Jack: kills village with a *newspaper*
John Wick: ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME?!
Jack: No I would never Mr Wick *waits for him to turn around while holding a newspaper*
@@durk5331 😂😂😂
A frikin newspaper
The Joker also killed a man with a pencil.
"Oh, come on! Aren't you ever gonna run out of muffins?"
"No, because I work at ze muffin factory"
hA hA fUnNy AsDf MoViE jOkE
Woosh if you are gay it funny joke tho....
rtgame is screaming
RTgames: muffins
JackSecpticEye: newspapers
What’s next on what’s an Irish mans favourite weapon??
idk ask kevin
Fish
Greetings from kevin
I honestly thought this was an RT video...
@@Kjf365 me too
Kevin kills people with fish while dressed up as a clown.
So it's been 3 years since I watched this video. Time flies. Random story but I'll type it mostly just to remind myself how a simple quirky video got me through a tough situation. 3 years ago I was having the worst anxiety attack in my apartment, all by myself just me and my thoughts, nauseous and out of breath, felt like I was going to die and I went on UA-cam to find something to distract me. This video came up on my explore page for God knows what reason, I played it on my phone as I struggled to get myself back together. All I could hear was this guy's voice and his laughter. The more I heard him enjoying his time I began to feel better. Until finally, I could breathe and process my thoughts. 3 years since that day. And I finally stumbled up with this video, searching endlessly for a hitman gameplay of a guy hitting NPCs with newspaper. Well that's it, thanks Jacksepticeye for unknowingly helping a dude fighting for his life against his own demons 3 years ago lol.
Man: *sees muffin*
Man: "What completely irresponsible person would leave a weapon lying around"
Well my friend Pedro found me a pistol
It's a my friend Pedro joke where you get the pistol at the start and he says it's irresponsible
there was a gun within the muffins
Jack: “I can kill people with muffins”
RTGame: “Yes my son follow in my footsteps. Don’t forget the fish and flamingo costume. Make me proud “
Jorge Ramirez first the muffins
*and then the fish*
lol
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDDXDDXDDXDDXDXDXXDXXDDXDDXDDDDXXXXDDXXXDXXDXDXDXDXXDXDXDDXDXXXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXXDXDXDXDXDXDDXDXDXDXDDXDXD
"what is this, a crossover episode?"
I think bigmooney06 did the first kill everyones
Jack: Im here to kill you with a newspaper
Woman: Pulls out a gun
Then it is a fair fight
Newspaper deflects bullet off into the distance than jack throws it and it impales through the girls skull and jack tries to hide the body in a mail box.
**gets outfit which explains vital information**
Jack: Look how cool I look!!
ZC-GOGOGOGOOD LO-GOGOGOGOOD PO-GOGOGOGOOD BONN CHINOOK VISIBLE CUBICLE MCGINNIS DETAILS DIGITAL
Jack: "I dont wanna accedently kill someone with a gun"
Also Jack: Breaking everyone's neck
5:44 This episode is just 26 minutes of silly shit XD
He did say BREAKING news!
Nobody:
Literally Nobody:
Sean: Do you think I can deliver some paper to her and steal her clothes
Sean: *sees a treehouse*
Sean: Ooh a newspaper sniping tower
No one:
UA-cam: Hey wanna see a screaming Irishman obliterate a whole village?
Hugging-Hinckley-GOGOGOGOOD constitutional👍🏿 GOOD NONNOB bottom moon
"I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU!!"
*yeets newspaper to the face*
"i've given up on hiding bodies"
-jacksepticeye 2019
It’s me regular ass man -Jack 2019
Wow
Ass Man and The killer Paper. coming soon
Imagine how embarrassing it would be for your gravestone to say "Killed by a Newspaper".
Me: I I just killed 3 guards at a wedding
Jack: I killed an entire neighbourhood with a newspaper
Jack: Puts bodies in incinerator
Me: The worst pies in London!
brittny92 Yes!
Thank you Sean for the love! :) Keep being awesome and sharing the PMA!
Sean : "I killed everybody in town with newspapers"
The nurse near the river : *laughs in last man standing*
Jack: “I don’t like guns, they’re scary. They kill people.” Literally killed hundreds of people in this game.. Hmmm 🤔.
"BREAKING NEWS!!"
"What?"
"Your Neck."
*SNAP*
I made this before I saw Jack making the joke
*CRUNCH*
Ah, another being of intellect.
This is valuable information 47.
Jack: LoOk i’M aLL SwoOshiE
😂
Yes
Muffin man: *is working*
Jack with his newspaper: "I'm sorry little one"
12:43
F to our fallen construction worker...
His last words were... "Put that thing down no- Ough, Bleugh."
Jack in Minecraft: I don’t wanna kill animals
Jack in Hitman: kills literally everyone
"Aw man. Are you ever gonna run out of muffins?"
Sean: "No! Because I work at ze muffin factory!"
Ahhhh, a person of class I see (/•- •)/ (\-_-)\
Ahh man of culture I see
Stranger: what completely irresponsible person would leave a weapon **gestures to muffin** lying around?
Jack: *BREAKING NEWS*
Jack when he sees newspaper : nice a new weapon
Jack when he sees screwdriver : MY BABY IS BACK !