I’m in my 20s and have started to see my parents in a much different light. They were so abusive when I was younger and we’ve been trying to heal together but now when I look at them I don’t see my parents, I see 2 people who had hard lives and anger problems, inner turmoil and personal demons. When I see them I just see people, tired, aging and desperate to repair a relationship they think was too damaged to come back from. But I’m starting to forgive them, slowly day by day and I know I’ll always have my walls up to protect myself from possible future abuse but I know they’re trying and that’s what really matters to me now as an adult. I’ll be honest though, I don’t have a lot of respect for them after everything they did but I’m trying to teach myself to be the bigger person and show respect for my elders. It’s difficult.
I am currently going through the same thing. And I don't know if I should put myself in the position of seeing them for the holidays coming up. I would say a lot has changed as in my mom is no longer physically abusive, however she remarried and they are both very emotionally abusive. So no one is trying when it comes to that :( Do not know what to do.
Do you have children of your own? I’m not in contact with one of my parents because I had a similar relationship with my parents, but decided I could not bear to expose my kids to the disfunction and toxicity. They were already picking up on really bad behaviors as toddlers. 😭
@@karinabarros4183 You can only pray for them and protect yourself and any children you may have. You can't change them only God can change their heart and only if they are open and willing.
@@theangrydome I am like that too. And I would like Father Mike to respond and teach on that please! Because I'm searching, praying and seeking council for years but I still don't know how to handle the situation. Like the first person commented about him having to forgive and be the bigger person,I too have done that. And I also see my parents differently now that I am an adult. Having a family of my own,I am torn about how the toxicity of my past with my mother and father will affect my children. I had allowed us to have lots of conversation and frequently hang out but due to my mother's verbal and emotional abuse towards myself and my husband,I have not wanted to be around her or have my children around her. However,I do wonder if that's the correct decision?
Respect doesn't necessarily mean obey, especially if your parent or parents give you instructions that go against your relationship with God and those who are closer to you than they are. Sometimes it's the children who have to teach the parents. Since my parents were my first teachers, my siblings and I began to help my sick mother and then later my aging father. The job of taking care of my father became my little sister's. We help her when she asks us to. But my father does pretty well and is pretty independent. I am middle aged. There have been times when I submitted myself to the care of my children when I got hit by a drunk driver and then became disabled. They asked for help from a lot of different priests and doctors. Then I got better. All that said, I like that the catechism says what it says. From what Father Mike said, it seems like we're following through with God's plan for our family. Thanks Father!
I am so thankful for my parents, God granted me a 1 hour and 30 minutes talk with my father on the phone with me telling him I forgive him for everything he had said and done to me and I hope he forgive me too, it was a deep healing moment and he died couple days later I serve a merciful God
I had a whole fallout from my family in 2018. I was moved out of home, parents tried cancelling my wedding.. they didn't approve of my wife. Tried controlling me narcissistically. All my siblings turned against me and my wife for no reasons but hate & they're supposed to be Catholic. My mum being the instigator narcissist. I always respected my parents, but from the moment I moved out of home my life became a living nightmare with my immediate family. It got so toxic that I could not visit my parents anymore. I felt extreme emotional anxiety. Couldn't handle being in their presence. My wife & I went to Catholic counselling about it, and her advice was we had to stay away. And the counsellor said our case was the worst she had ever heard. It's a very complex situation & my parents would not let up no matter what. I offer up all my struggles and difficulties with it all to Jesus Christ at the Altar.
That must feel really painful and at times embarrassing and guilt inducing. It may feel harder when you have your own children and can't share them with your lost family, or get their help. I pray you find community with others. Many of us in the Church understand how you feel. Thank you for not blaming us for pain caused by failed Catholics. You don't need to explain your situation or get anyone's approval. God sees it all. He has given you a new life and best of all, a wife to love. You're going to make a new and beautiful family. Have courage. I wish you joy.
You are not the only one in the world in a situation like this I too have a family who turned on me. Narcissistic mother, who does not like my husband. I haven’t spoken to my mother or siblings for over two years now due to the toxic nature of the relationship under the advice of my counselor for my mental health sake. However, our relationship started the downhill slide when I converted to Catholicism. I have struggled many times with wanting to reach out to speak with them, I grieve for once was, but I know if I reconnect I will just cause the cycle of hurt on myself all over again. I pray that someday there might be a healing but that would mean a change in behavior on their part not just empty words. I agree, a very complex situation for me too. It’s a shame she chose to do this and miss out on my life and the lives of her grandchildren but I leave it in Gods hands in God’s time.
I feel you guys😔 coz I’m in the same situation with my mom & my brother and I love them so much but they’re toxic and hated my husband who care and love them. I pray to God whatever His Will for us and I pray for their healing and forgiveness because I forgive them and I just love them from the distance.
I feel ypur pain. My mother was a serious manipulator, and was very devious. She did horrible things to me even as an adult. She kept vital information from me regarding my now EX-Husband that she learned before we married... she spread horrible rumors about me to the family... I became deathly ill when I turned 40, was given 6 months to live and she told the family I was faking it!!! Yet I had 5 prescriptions 3 of which were $75 to $350 a month... and was really sick for 7 years. She told the family she was paying ALL my bills, and I had my monthly SSDI Check to blow... when she never, ever gave me one dime and I had a child to support and a dead beat dad for my childs father! There is so much more than this too!!! I finally learned about it all and confronted her... she cried but never, ever apologized. YET as a Christian I had to forgive because the bible says honor your mother and father and BELIEVE ME... I PRAYED A LOT to get thru it and then became her care giver, health care advocate and Power of Attorney because my sister, whom the family all thought was super sweet... TRIED TO STEAL HER $$$ & she was left VERY comfortable by my father with and decent 6 figures in the bank, yet she BLEW thru it ALL!!! It has left a lot of scars... and I don't trust all that easily any more. She passed away a few years ago and I was completely exhausted. I left for work every morning @ 6:30, worked till 2pm, ran errands for her, cared for her in her home till she went to bed at 11pm and refused to go any earlier so I could go home and get adequate sleep... I had to make sure all lights were out, door locked and drive home. The gift there was I lived 1 mile away from her... but less than 6 hrs sleep under that kind of stress os NOT healthy, but she did not care. Sad! Sad!! SAD!!!
@Cynthia Robinson You can have peace and consolation knowing that God sees ALL of our efforts and what is in our heart and will reward us for it when we see Him.
It also says for parents not to provoke their children to anger because that causes problems too. It’s more one of those things that make sense to everyone but still take wisdom and virtue to practice them. Sadly everything good in life requires virtue to do or acquire. I guess we better just accept that and try to gain virtue so we can have good relations and nice things 🤷♀️
I adore my parents, God Bless them and you too, Father. I am reading the Bible In a Year with you just now, and hope to finish by next month. What a blessing you are, Father! Thank you for your ministering to us, always great messages! I am taking your Catechism course at the first of next year, what a blessing it is and I thank you, Father for this, too!
I also adore my parents. Despite what my Mum has done. My Dad was, is wonderful (dec.March). I won't go into what's happened, that's in other comments. I do want to honour my Mum despite the terrible predicament I'm in. I can forgive Mum, I don't need her to ask for it. Now though I need my Dad, God to forgive me & Mum & God to rescue me from the evil doings.
Please pray for my dad. He lives in a gated community in CA, has mild to moderate Alzheimer’s. He’s 90 years-old and I’m afraid I’ll never see him again! There’s a couple where he lives who are stealing from him! They’ve taken over his life and we can’t get past the guards at the gate in order to see him. I’m devastated. I have prayed and prayed regarding this situation. I’m trying to honor my father’s last years, but I can’t even call him, they’ve taken his phone. The police won’t help. Adult Protective Services has been called @ 7 times, by his doctor, his bank and myself. I need your prayers. Thank you 🙏.
Apart from obvious solutions to consider, pray to Mary, Un-tier of Knots or St. Rita of Impossible Cases or St. Jude of Hopeless Cases or St. Anthony to find a way in to help your father. Don't fret. Trust in God to show the way. Don't forget to pray to St. Michael for protection. Of course, don't do anything illegal. With God, there's always a way out. St. Peter, whose chains fell off of him while imprisoned, should also help you.
I love this advice, and I love the reminder how amazing the catechism really is. Such an incredible document. As a convert, I never expected the catechism to be one of my favorite discoveries of the faith.
I know, right?! The Catechism brings in so much clarity. When I came back from my baptist years, it was the Catechism which made my faith firm. No more personal interpretation of how God is or how solid teachings could be interpreted otherwise.
Father Schmitz, you help me a lot in walking the straight and narrow, please pray for a happy catholic marriage with my love! Thank you and God bless, Father! Your advice helped me a lot to mature in the ways of the Faith in the last couple of months, I am forever grateful!
Without going into too much detail, I have a neighbor who is 53, never married but educated and she was not given the things she needed to navigate life on her own. This is not in the US, btw. A situation has arisen with our mutual landlady, who should be contacting me and one other tenant who are affected by it. She chooses to speak only to this neighbor as she is about 150 Km away. Thinking about it, just before I started watching this video, I realized that while my mother wasn't a nice person and really resented the fact that I wasn't her mini-Me, she equipped me to face life on my own and for that I was grateful.
My greatest happiness in life comes from following Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. So I’m keeping faith in him. As a single mother things tend to be difficult on me. My husband passed years ago so I’m alone. I’m overwhelmed because both of my children are autistic and non verbal. I’m struggling trying to support them and myself. I lost my job as a social worker at Forsyth because I declined the vaccine. I declined because of my pre existing health condition lupus and heart disease. I was denied my medical/religious exemption. I wish I could go back to the hospital but the mandate is still in place for hospitals that participate in Medicare and Medicaid. I’m waitressing and I’m so thankful to be working again, but I’m not making nearly enough to make ends meet. I’m so discouraged and ready to give up because I receive so much hate for sharing my testimony. But God gives me strength to keep me going. I’m so tired of struggling trying to pay bills. Every month is a struggle, to not end up on the streets. It’s embarrassing and overwhelming! But God doesn’t gives us anything we can’t handle! I have faith God will provide. He HAS THIS FAR. WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! I BELIEVE!
My heart goes out to you. I raised my daughter on my own too (husband abandoned us) and I know the struggle all too well. We were both blessed with good health and yet it was still a struggle. My daughter's an adult now but when I was raising her there were many times when things seemed bleak and it's only in hindsight that I'm able to see that God was there protecting and providing for us the whole time. Know that widows and orphans are particularly precious to God and He will always be there for you. Sending you much love and praying that God will send His angels to watch over you and that He provide a strong support system for you.
You are an incredibly strong woman of the Lord! He will bless you and your children. It is so hard not to give up and to doubt God, but you have this strong faith and strong devotion to your children. You'll get to a comfortable and peaceful place for you and your kids soon. God bless!❤
I praise and thank God for having blessed me and my siblings with very loving parents. Respecting them naturally flows from our love for them. God bless them 🕊️🤍🙏
Thank you Fr Mike 🌟 Brothers and sisters as children of God we are called to obey our Father in Heaven and our earthly parents. Parents our first best friend, teacher and counsellor. A parents love is something no one can explain It's made up of deep devotion and sacrifice It protects and guides us from afar Shedding light upon us like a bright and shining star My childhood gave me memories that will last forever. Wiping away million tears and giving me strength when I had none and always calming my fears. No matter how old I might get, will always seek advice from you From family holidays to Sunday roast To special holidays to Sunday toast From camping trips in the rain And we owe all our childhood memories to you🌻
I have always been thankful for my folks...they helped me thru my illness...and I cherish everyday they are with me on earth. It radically changed me....chaos does that.
Sure... who doesn't love their parents? But ABSOLUTELY... I need and want my parents (and in-laws) to understand that I am (we are) an adult with my own family now so the dynamics WILL be different because now, we're in the same role as parents.
In Ephesians it talks about children obeying parents and in general to honor parents. Back in biblical times people stayed under their father's roof (authority) until they created their own household with their own spouse. At that point they went from being children having to obey the headship of the household (their parents) to being the head of their own household (husband and wife) and thus no longer required to obey but still required to honor (no expiry on honoring parents). Also, people tended to marry when still quite young. At least that's my understanding. I think, however, that we need to hear what it means to honor our parents and the different ways it takes place especially in the case of neglectful and abusive parents. My dad, for example, tried to murder my brother (because he was disabled which my dad couldn't accept). My brother went on to commit suicide. I've managed to come to terms with my own family situation. I've prayed a lot for God to help me forgive and to let go of the anger and resentment I felt towards my parents. I also prayed for my parents and helped financially when I could (they have now passed on). But I had to do this from a distance to preserve my own mental and spiritual health. Often people assume that if you have limited or no contact with your parents it's because you're not willing to forgive or are being selfish. In most cases that I know of it's to preserve your own mental health. Honoring parents shouldn't come at the expense of your own mental and spiritual health. Strong boundaries are sometimes needed (especially if you have children of your own who you need to protect from negative influences).
Thanks Father Mike for this encouraging and reflective piece of information. You also motivate me to stretch more than I could possibly imagine. God bless.💞
I wonder if love is more about what we DO rather than how we feel? I don't think we can control our feelings of hurt or anger when dealing with a difficult parent, but we can DO the next loving thing towards them. Lord help us to DO love especially when we don't feel it as you did for us in Gethsemane, during the scourging, in the crucifixion...
Great video, Father Mike! Family individuals need to know that they belong and are valued. My complement is that it is not enough for parents to say they value their children, but for children to know this in their hearts. A child who is loved, but either doesn't believe it or doesn't sense or perceive it, will be insecure and not value it and the relationship will fail. When parents are too busy with duties or distractions or when children are left alone to become self-absorbed, the crucial cognisance of being valued will be vacant and, if not resolved, a crisis will result. Ironically, in such a situation, there can be the semblance of a positive relationship with parents and children playing games and engaging in entertainment, but their actual focus is not each other, but on the pleasure from the leisure or entertainment; and they can actually be, in fact, not aware of any intended social appreciation. Sadly, I know this from experience and much reflection. I didn't know that I was loved, and, in turn, I really didn't know, appreciate, love, or honour my parents. It's one thing to love what material support they provide and even take this for granted. It's another to become sensitive to the parent. We were too busy with other activities. It took a long time to become aware of this and to try to change my part in the relationship. I believe that daily family prayer would have opened our hearts to God and to each other, but this didn't happen, and it was tragically too late. It was a case not of hatred, but indifference due to worldliness and self-absorption in good things without prayer and God's love. As obvious as this was in hindsight, evidently no one saw it while it was right before us, if only we had eyes to see through the enlightenment and sensitivity that prayer yields and reflection discloses.
I’m all for respecting my parents, and taking care of them in their age, but now that I’m an adult, living in my own house, I won’t allow them to make my decisions for me, and I won’t let them tell me that I can’t do something that I wanna do. Just because you’re a mother or father, doesn’t mean you can keep telling me what to do. I’m 22, so I’m smart enough to know what’s good and what’s bad for me.
What the other person said. But no you don't know what is right or wrong for you. And even if you do know doesn't mean you'll do what is right for yourself.
Though, I'm not Catholic, I found this video very helpful. I want to thank Fr. Mike for clearing up what honoring your father and mother actually means. I have been struggling with it for years. My parents have been divorced for 30 years, and the older they get the more toxic and abusive they become. I was forced to no contact them years ago for my own personal well-being. I've never felt so much wrath for them in my entire life during that time. I have to honor these people WHILE they're so toxic and dishonorable??? It felt so painfully wrong. When Fr. Mike said that we must always respect the OFFICE that they hold as our parents, it finally started to click in my head. NOW, it's making sense. Yes, it's easy to respect the fact that they are our biological mother and father. That is the office in which they hold. We don't have to respect by default how they MANAGE that office. My father brainwashed me for a lifetime making me think I have to respect them no matter how disgusting their behavior towards me and my siblings. Making me think they are ENTITLED to all the respect. Now that I'm fully emancipated from them, they need to EARN my respect back if they ever want to see me again. I want to see them heal and improve, but all I can do for them at this point is pray for them.
My parents are Protestant (particularly evangelical Baptist) and while they are good parents and I converted to Catholicism at 29 officially. My dad has had some close calls dad has had with cancer but right now, he is cancer free and mom is healthy for the most part.
Honor and obey are not the same. I didn't have proper parents but I had an obsession with religion because I liked to learn about it and the others. I'm also a bookworm. I read like I should be a librarian.
I can't wait for Catechism in a year that's exciting. If Catechism in a year is anything like Bible in a year Father Mike will make it so interesting you're going to want to continue in it.
Seek cooperation, not obedience. Remember that you are raising an adult, not merely caring for a child. The freedom of thought and individuality they arent permitted to express due to your desire to have them obey and jump at your command, will manifest anyway in their adulthood but with much resentment and negativity toward their relationship with you. If you want your children to love you, if you want them to talk to you about more than just the weather when they're older, seek cooperation, not obediance.
What happens when you're semi emancipated? Living under the same roof, but not dependent? Not paying house bills, but not needing anything from parents as far as personal bills, food and so on?
Being 67 years old now there were difficulties stemming from conversion to the Catholic Church as a young adult. Not being Catholic and originally being unchurched but holding a typical Protestant disdain for the Church, we had to navigate through the typical objections. It got heated at times and there was a time of separation to cool off. Many, many, MANY rosaries later We finally called a truce, transcended our differences and we were able to reunite before their deaths. Here’s the big take away. The old axiom “you can’t give what you don’t have” is critical in understanding parent/child relationships. I love my parents and realized later their skill set didn’t reach to that level. Forgiveness is important but so is knowing their limitations. So, stop with psychobabel and realize these situations require prayer, sacrifice and LOVE.
I have a heavy heart knowing that some have parents who've hurt them and some have parents who've supported them. It is a great injustice that we might assume all people have the same resources or experiences. Some are more fortunate in more ways than money.
My parents were angry, had no patience and didn't listen so just ignored them for the most part. Even as an adult I stay away from other adults like that.
At 36 y/o my parents said to me, “you have not been part of our lives for 17 years (I committed the ultimate sin & got married at age 19)! My father statement, “ like a turned page in a book; I just read forward!”In 50 years, he came to my home maybe 10 times. In the last 18 months he does not respond to texts or phone calls. According to my Priest, I have fulfilled my responsibilities & this decision is his! This dysfunctional legacy has been passed onto 2/4 siblings. So I have mercy:forgive them, pray for them, & give them to Divine Mercy Jesus who will send His Holy Spirit-who can fix their souls✝️🙏🏻 I unite this “woundedness” to Crucified Jesus & offer it to God:Crestor-Father in reparation of my sins🙏🏻✝️
Greetings Father Mike, Thanks for the Wonderful Prologue for The Catechism of The Catholic Church with an interesting Sum Everything up to The Obedience before Lord Jesus Christ during all Age Periods in every aspects of Life. My Prayers with Everyone for Well-being of Parents in all aspects. With regards, RanjithJoseph (R.J)
Fr. Mike can you please do a video about forging our identity(dealing more with our relationship with God compared with our relationship with the world and society)?
As soon as we take time out regularly to be alone with God, filling our mind with His Holy Scriptures and with the lives of the Saints, purposely investing in feeding our soul with Truth, avoiding everything scuzzy, then our hearts will expand and have more capacity to absorb the Will of God, and we will become more aware of His Infinitely loving Presence and all the ways He touches us.❤🎉
For the young ones in the comments I want to jump on here and give you some advice I WISH I had at your age. Forgive your parents. I understand how hard that is for some of you. I know it was for me. Trust me. My mother was an incest survivor and was very abusive because she was messed up from the abuse she received from her own parents. The abuse was only made worse by my preexisting disabilities that amplified both the physical and emotional pain. I was semi-suicidal for a lot of my life. And I didn't start getting better till I let go of all of that. It was an exorcist that told me to do so. He said the devil loves to drag us around by our emotional wounds and if we don't take the time to heal and work past the trauma and forgive. The he's going to use those bad wounds to throw us into a even more Dangerous encounter. (something I sadly know to well as an ex witch) I let my wounds pull me away from God. Don't let your wounds become foot holds like I did. Forgiveness doesn't mean you need to see the person. It just means you had and honest talk with God. This is the formula that was Done for me. It does involve a priest. But it works really well. An Act of Forgiveness (Note: Forgiveness does not mean that what the person did to harm someone was okay. It also does not mean the one hurt should have “warm feelings” about the other person. Rather, it is an act of the will to let go of the hurt and to will the good of the other. This is important. Demons feed off unforgiveness. Moreover, unforgiveness can dysfunctionally bond the person to the abuser and the one harmed can remain a perpetual victim, under the control of the abuser. Forgiveness allows the person to let go of the person who caused the harm, to be open to God’s healing, and to be set free.) PEOPLE: In the name of Jesus Christ, I willingly forgive anyone who has hurt or harmed me (including N., N., N., etc...). [I forgive them from the bottom of my heart and I ask God to bless them. (3 times)] Priest: I witness your forgiveness. I ask God to heal any unforgiveness and all inner wounds and trauma. May God heal you and all those who have hurt you. May you be released from any dysfunctional attachments, be healed in your heart, and set free in the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus may you be healed. In the name of Jesus, be at peace. ---- I would also Suggest praying to St Raphael to help heal your emotional wounds. He has done amazing things for me and I am very firmly devoted to him. Granted I love the holy trinity more💖 But I hope some of you find this helpful. I've been where you are and I want you to know the abuse from your parents was never something God would of wanted for you. He loves you so much he endured abuse till death because he wanted to make sure he could save you from where you are right now. He understands the hurt and pain you are in. He has experienced it too, and is standing with you like a good friend trying to help you recover. Please give him your heart and trust him to take care of it. Because he really will💖 I'll be praying for all of you 💖 Oh and I almost Forgot. If you don't have parents or if they were abusive towards you. Remember, they are not the only parents God gave you. You are part of the exact reason God made Mother Mary and Saint Joseph our universal parents. And if you develop a relationship with them. They will love you just as much as Jesus. I remember crying when I consecrated myself to Mary and learned that God loved me so much that he made sure I always have a loving mother. 💖 And I will tell you she is a bit of a mama bear and prays for people like us constantly 💖 We are her forget-me-knots. You know the alternative name for those flowers? They're called Marys eyes. And that's because while the rest of the world forgot us. She didn't. Her eyes are never off us and she makes sure we know that. Sometimes it just takes a little. 💖
Dad(narcissist) pretends I don't exist and resent being reminded(rarely, by me) and told not to remind him of my last birthday; He hardly does anything for me, yet exepects me to owe him gratitude(for what?!). I am 59; he and I are Catholic. I don't live with him. He still tries to control me with a lecturing tone, for things I have not done (or mildly) yet! He is still trying to control me. He tells me that he goes to Mass. Fine; He expects me to go to Church in any weather (1/2 hour walk each way). He does not offer to bring me to Mass. He is unreasonable! Everything has to be his way or the highway. Help.
He does not earn/deserve any respect/obedience. Dad expects me to blindly obey him. He has always resented his reponsibilty and made that clear. Yet, I am expected to be at his beck and call. Unreal!
He doesn't(never has) respect me; mostly because I am female and a grown daughter; yet, he can't get off his duff to do anything. It's awful. Very one-sided: to my detriment. He is so narcissistic.
I'm curious about how obedience and "respect" in the church are defined, and what are the church's thoughts about obedience and respect regarding codependent/enmeshed family dynamics - essentially dysfunctional family systems.
I'm 52 and my parents aren't speaking to me because 3 years ago I asked them to STOP projecting ''paranoid'' on to me. They were the victims of that. They were hurt (not me). They are the judge of whether or not they hurt me and *THEY DID NOT* so therefore, my perspective is an act of aggression I the persecutor perpetrate against them the victims.
I had this discussion with my great granddaughter and her boyfriend just tonight and I told them that no matter how old or big they are the are never bigger than their parents.
@@BitsyBee they can be as big but they need to always respect their parents. I realize respect has to be earned, but I have a very good relationship with my children, grandchildren and my great grandchildren are my best friends, we spend a lot of time together and I enjoy them and am honored that we get to spend time together.
@@bettyallen4121 Respect is EARNED. My mother threw me out of my home at the age of 16 because a new boyfriend didn't like me. My father claimed me as a dependent on his taxes when I was completely on my own so he could claim a tax credit that should have gone to my schooling. I can forgive them, but I owe them no respect. Considering how much their thievery and selfishness has negatively impacted my life, I owe them no support when they grow old.
I would love a video that deals with identity and (most specifically sexual identity) through a Catholic Lens, because I am really struggling with this.
I would listen to the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast because sexual identity is not particularly something you are. According to the podcast, we are a multiplicity and not always a single person. We are made up of parts and our parts have desires that affect The Self. I would listen to episode 37-50. I would also map out your parts. Helps tremendously.
Your identity is a beloved child of GOD any attempt to create an identity out of a desire or taste for something or someone is a hollow sham of an identity that can never fulfill
I recommend his book, Made For Love, on this topic. It presents the true Catholic perspective, and it is wise and compassionate, as you would expect from Fr. Mike.
Ascension Presents has made a lot of videos about this topic, you could check it out typing "Ascension Presents Sexuality" in the searching bar. There is also a video featuring Father Mike from the Matt Fradd Show. Praying for you 🙏🏻
I'm no expert and I have my spiritual struggles too, but I can offer you my prayers and a few suggestions that may help you. Draw what benefit you can from it. I would suggest going to adoration regularly. Information from videos will really help and Fr. Mike is an angel from Heaven on so many subjects. Learning from him can go a long way. At the same time, simply being in the presence of God's infinite love and compassion for you can reach and heal your heart in ways no one but God can see, because He is all-knowing and all-powerful. This did wonders for me, and I can say I've been through many dark nights of the soul. For your part, I would also strongly encourage you to relieve your conscience of any transgressions through sacramental confession, having prepared by reviewing your conscience with a Catholic examination of conscience which can easily be found online. Relieving your soul and mind helps dispose you to greater freedom, spiritual enlightenment, and receptivity of God's grace. If you haven't been in a while, don't worry. At least most priests I know are as gentle as lambs. Find one with whom you're comfortable. You might even find a spiritual director. In any case, just go at your own pace and don't feel pressured to move too fast. At least you are watching Father Mike's videos and seem open and keen to advance through your time of trial. One other thing to remember that is important to bear in mind that the fallen angels who hate God knows that they can antagonise God by attacking God's children with temptations and vexations such as confusion about identity and all other sins etc. Do your level best to avoid occasions of temptation without becoming anxious. In fact, insofar as you resist the temptations, you are actually growing in virtues, perhaps the hard way, but this glorifies God; and you can be sure that He is present there during your trials with abundant grace to give you; but the hard part can be to remember this when you're distracted, tempted, frustrated, or struggling. With prayer and practice, you can grow in trust in Him during these moments or periods and peace will abound. On that note, you can also search online for Bible verses to help defend yourself against temptations and vexations about identity or any other sins. They can be a great defense and consolation. You may also wish to learn simple prayers such as the St. Michael Prayer. The rosary is immensely powerful as well as the Chaplet of Mercy. I recently came across one from St. Benedict that I really like. “Holy Cross, be my light. May the dragon never be my guide. Get away, Satan! Never tempt me with your vanities! What you offer me is evil. Drink the poison yourself!” There is also the Prayer to Take Authority and many others. I hope some of this helps you and doesn't overwhelm you. Trust in God. He will see you through this, but sometimes there is no elevator out of the dark night of the soul. It can be steps all the way and sometimes one forward and two backwards or like a child learning to walk or ride his bike. A few falls and scraps may be part of it. Just keep persevering like Jesus Who died for us, because He loves us. May He bless you abundantly. PS: If you can find a local or online prayer group, it's nice to have a community that cares for you spiritually. :) Blessings.
Hey father Mike can you make a movie about it if parents disrespect us what should we do should we get mad and back and tell them to leave me alone I'm a Catholic and I love go all my heart on my soul this will be a good blessing you make a movie in parents disrespect us what should we do
Very true. My mom didn't like it when I joined the Catholic church. I didn't listen to my mom. I've been Catholic. for 48 years. Now I'm age. 66 before 4 months. And I'm still comfortable. I recently came back to the camp for church. I made it a mistake. Did all my confessions . Taking they eucharistic . Been back to the Catholic Church. 20 weeks. Going to mass every Sunday.. I know my parents wouldn't like it. But there are 2 old to do anything about it now. My dad passed away 2019. My mom is age 89. . She has Dimensia. It's hard for her to remember what I'm talking to her.
I love God all my heart on my soul but we all have strokes of sin we don't get what we want for my but I respect my mom about what I love him all about what can you please make a move
Even if I’m still at home (I’m 25) where’s the line? I respect and obey my parents, but what happens when they are affecting my adult life and not letting me make my own decisions?
My parents kicked me out and left me homeless 5 days after I turned 18. They were abusive to me my entire life. I try to follow the policy “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” Is ignoring them disrespectful? It’s really not good for my mental health to have them in my life but they try to guilt trip me and refer to me as a prodigal son that will come running back to them eventually but I cannot handle that. You say it’s an adult child’s responsibility to care for their parents when they get old as they did for us when we were children, but my parents didn’t care about me so I don’t feel like I owe them anything. I just want to live my life in peace. Is that too much to ask?
Can you make the distinction between emancipating the family home to be “on your own” so to speak but like let’s say you’re leaving for college and still financially supported by your parents. Example, I pay for a large portion of my daughter’s rent so she can finish school. I realize I don’t have to do that but it was the only way I could convince her to get into school. She does pay a little towards the rent, not much and she has other expenses paid while she’s in college-but how does obedience work in this case bc she’s an adult and no longer living with me but also not fully independent financially.
I will never stop obeying my Mom and My sister. Atm..I'm 16 and I obey my mom to the max, and I do everything for my sister!...She is 14. Everyday, I come home from school and the 1 st thing I do, is give my mom my phone...don't want any distractions, then I do my homework, then all the chores for that day, which must be done to my moms satisfaction. Then I do whatever she tells me to do with no back talk or arguing. With my sister, I do ALL of her chores and let her take all the credit so she gets paid for them. I clean up ALL of her messes. When she does something wrong, I take blame for it so she dont get in trouble. I do all of her homework so she can do what she wants to do! I never argue with her! When we are both home....I wait on her hand and foot....she never has to lift a finger!
What does the Catechism state about absent parents? My biological father was never part of my life (has never even seen me in person) and has come into my life as an adult, seemingly demanding respect and my time/energy. I know he helped to create me, but he's essentially a stranger. My step dad and my uncle raised me, what is my duty to my biological father in the eyes of the church? Am I failing as a Catholic by willingly not engaging with him?
But it is normal to feel lack of purpose sometimes. That's the chance to find a real reason of our existence. To find God who waiting for us, to help us.
Volunteer or find something you can do daily that is outside yourself, pray and at 20 I was wilfully making bad choices, the fact that you realize there is a problem is half the battle
You should respect parents, because at any age, they may have some help or experience to pass on to you. Just as well, as an adult, you have your contemporary knowledge, so they should also listen to you. My mom can barely warm her coffee in the new microwave oven, so she always asks me how to operate the thing, and my dad needs help with the cell phone or computer.
I strongly recommend that all Catholics read the Cathechism of the Catholic Church as Father Mike suggested. It is well written, organized, and provides guidance to help us follow the teachings of Jesus. It also quotes scripture and explains how the Church interprets those quotations in accordance with the teaching authority that Christ gave to the Magisterium.
My mother takes advantage of me by asking unfair things of me (treating me like a servant) and when I give a little resistance or question her logic, which is hardly ever (I don’t even say no unless I am literally unable to do it) she blows up, swears at me, slams things, says that she hardly asks anything of me, belittles me, lies to make herself look better, makes me out to be the bad one because I refuse to give in to her emotional abuse and then the storms off. Later she’ll come downstairs all tearful and apologise WITH conditions meaning she’ll say “Sorry BUT you have to understand-“ and then she goes on to make excuses for everything, basically softening the blow and nullifying the apology. Then if I don’t immediately accept her apology, she’s quick to get defensive and say something like “Well come on, say something, I feel like you aren’t accepting my apology”. I am almost 23 years old and I will be leaving the country soon to get married. I currently live under her roof. I would only obey her within reason, meaning if she asks something unreasonable of me, I won’t give in and do it. I still give her respect and I am trying my hardest to forgive her. Is there anything you guys think I should do?
And just to be clear, she claims that she hardly asks anything of me, I believed that for the longest time, but my partner noticed how much she really asks of me day in, day out. It is constant.
I noticed you made no mention of your father, so I'm assuming he isn't in the picture anymore? If that's the case, then I can help you understand why she's acting so toxic towards you.
Father Mike..🤣🤣🤣.Amen! God told us to pardon those who transgressed. No age limit to forgiveness in our lifetime. Let's not forget that we come from our parents! Therefore, when God gives us the time, we must be there for them. God bless you! Padre Mike... ¡Amén! Dios nos dijo que perdonáramos a los que transgredieron. No hay límite de edad para el perdón en nuestra vida. ¡No olvidemos que venimos de nuestros padres! Por lo tanto, cuando Dios nos da el tiempo, debemos estar ahí para ellos. ¡Dios te bendiga!
if your a young adult but still living on your parents home because thats what asia country mostly even you got a job do you still follow them like a kid that are dependent on the parents? example when i have somethign to do very important for me but they have a favor but i need this to be done and i said you do it mama i have something going on that i need to do, is my response good or is it wrong ? help plssss is the obedience to parents depends on the material dependency on parents ?
Am I expected, by the abuser, to forgive and forget the abuse?(Dad) He expects to be let off the hook so he can do it again. And give me a lecture about patience in a controlling tone/lecture. He caused me the problem; not the other way around. I don't trust him; ever. I have good reasons for feeling this; a lifetime of him telling me inappropriate things and telling me to keep them a secret.(it started at 12 1/2-inappropriate comments/questions/innuendoes, jokes about sex) I am 59 now. The messages still bother me.
I would be told not to tell anyone, that I could not say no him, other men, implying his brothers(one pulled the same jokes: not funny) when I was 26. They thought it was funny, made me joke. That's pathetic. I don't trust these two men, never will(for my own protection.) Dad says I have to forgive and forget. So he won't feel bad about what he has said for years, to me. Sickening.
My dad is probably battling St. Michael right now, as we speak, so that he can properly attack you for telling me (even as a grown-butted adult) that I don't have to listen to him. I've prayed for reinforcements, just in case. And, the blood of Christ over you. Extra Holy Water.
Next do a video applying these principles in examples. Toxic, abusive, no boundaries, guilt inducing, passive aggressive, addicted, narcissist, parents who believe you should submit to their wishes even when you're a senior citizen, who don't respect your own parenting of the grandkids, and other difficult, real life situations are more common and make this teaching difficult to apply.
We need to invest more time and effort into honouring God Thankyou we invest in analyzing our feelings and naming other people’s shortcomings, for starters. The more we love God, the more His Love will flood our hearts and overflow onto our neighbours.😅
When the kids are growing up, they have already moved out of the house. Do the parents get old? Can we take care of themselves the kids will be sponsibility? It's to help them if they're able to. I'm 66. When did my dad how to be in these 80s he got dimitcha He had to be put in the nursing home. We could not take care of him because we lived so far away. My family, the past Sacramento, we live in Woodland, California. Because of the distance, he had the people in the nursing home. Also, my mom had the same thing as my dad. She could not remember to take her medications, so she was put in a nursing home. Am I mom would fight with us? About going in the nursing home. It was for her own good. She would not take her medications. She could never remember she had one article. I'm too strokes.. How do you say it again if a person is able to help their parents and take care of them? It's their responsibility to do that. And we don't have the means. To help my parents. Because they live far away like I said. My other brother hes not a he would, too, is a mine of a four-year-old. But my other brother he lives 3 states away. He helped him financially. But I can't help financially. I'm on a fixing come. I'm on social security and a small pension. Because. I have 3 kids but we're still in school. I got 2 boys that are in middle school. I have a daughter in high school. And my wife she has to work 2 part-time jobs to make ends meet. Rent it's high. Car payment car insurance. Food for the family. So we're stuck between a rock and a hard police to help my parents we have no money saved. If we had the means to pay part of it we would. Medicare and Medical it's pain for the nursing home and their services. Because we do not have that, it falls on the taxpayers
Fr. Mike my girlfriend has really revealed herself to be a hardcore devoted cafeteria catholic. Can you do a video on this? I know you could come up with words that would really sway her!
Do you have to obey your parents when you're an adult? I would say yes if you are living under their roof you would still be under their rules. However, if you have moved out and live on your own which it states in Genesis 2:24, "When a man leaves his parents he clings to his wife and the two become one flesh". In this case moving out you are no longer under your parents rules therefore you no longer are obligated to obey them as you are an independent person. In my observation there are biological adults which is based upon a person's age like males are fully matured biologically at age 18 and females are fully matured biologically age 16. There is legally recognized adults in which society recognizes a person being of a certain age as an adult like in Japan at age 20 your considered an adult. And there is actual adults which is about being able to live on your own without relying upon your parents or others financially. For example a college student living in a dorm on campus that their parents are paying for their housing and tuition wouldn't be actual adults because they are still dependent upon their parents to pay their way. A better terminology of them would be adult children. Adults take charge of themselves and don't depend upon others to provide for them unless of course they are an invalid in which others provide for them.
😢 I'm an adult male who has never been able to leave my parents do to being born with a personal problem., I have put my wants needs goals and dreams aside for them 😉
Genuine question. With respect to being there for elderly parents as much as one can; does that apply if, for example, one's father sexually targeted and assaulted his son's wife and caused a massive rift in the family as a result? If the son and his wife have taken years to reflect and forgive this father... but still can't really stand to be around him.... as they still called to 'be there' for him in his old age?
That son could chip in for basic healthcare costs, even from a distance. Pray for him, have Masses offered for his conversion, send him necessities...❤😢Love thé sinner, hate the sin.
No. My mother has abused me for years and by the once and for all sacrifice of Christ who did that for me and by my acceptance I do not require to respect her. She has facilitated ritualistic abuse of me by my half siblings and most recently I even found an odd letter by my brother stating his deep love for me… I was 14 and he was around 29 or 30. She pushed my child out and went to my sisters on his request to isolate me and he came in to abuse me. So absolutely not. No. 100% no. That’s the tip of the iceberg. She had my sister abuse me and then lied in corroboration against me on more than one account. The abuse is something she facilitated since I was a child. She is vulgar. Thanks to God I believe in Christ and I’m not a denier. In the scriptures it actually tells us that unless we hate our parents we cannot be disciples of Jesus. I absolutely love and respect my Father. I have also talked about this. I have always also had a propensity for also caring for the bad and evil and abusers but that’s where it ends. I do not have to respect them. It says by God that we must hate evil denounce and look down on it. I’ve given up everything to be there for her when all she has done is abuse me. NO MORE.
@@Forbiddenangel989 thank you and many blessings to you. It is unfortunately part of growing up. Even adult children are always evolving as are parents. Some people might look like they have perfect lives but they are probably in denial or liking the worldly aspects of what their parents do for them. I had things given to me and taken away- so much abuse not only physically, through resources, finances even stalking and attacking my family and the faith. Persecution for having the Holy Spirit. The biggest difficulty is going through life onwards in an improved manner re the faith because you are out there and they know that. It is literally like the devil going after Mary and the children of God as it says. They are evil and we do not need to bow to them or respect their choices to be at one with Satan and go against God and God’s own. It is not worthy of any form of respect - ever or at all. We do need to care for them (as much as it if we can) in at least praying for their change. I pray for you too. It sounds like you were treated very badly and suffered a lot. It’s good to hear you came out of that and things are going much better. 🙏
I’m sorry for your pain. But as someone who also has been through abuse by parents. I have learned after much spiritual direction, that to “ honour” your parents means to Will the good of another. It does not mean we need to see them, speak with them ect. By distancing ourselves from them can be an act of love because we are not giving them a chance to commit sin by adding more abuse. But we are called to pray for them and that God will give them the spiritual graces needed for their conversion. I hope this helps. Praying for many blessings for you 🤗
@Gangari TheWanderer you have clearly got the wrong message as nothing you have said has anything to do with this or anything any that single person has said on this thread whatsoever.
I Love my parents so much, im really grateful for them raising me the way they did...but the "religion" topic is a Hard one to touch. Im 17 years old, and even having some kind of independence, they insist to criticize my choice of bring a practicing catholic...even being taught about christ by them, they think that the Church is retrogade, fanatic, etc. It's passive agressivo how they talk about it...always saying how this and that are things of the past, how the mass is unnecessary, how sexual interpretations are too rigid, or how the sacraments are illogical...it's tiring, one Day my dad even said that this would kill me, that it's stupid to be "dogmatic", that real Life doesn't work like that, that morality is not able to be practiced fully...this hurt me deeply, and i cried like a baby because of the terrible things they said... it was almost a cry for help, but for who? Maybe God gives us battles that we can surpass...this is mine...I hope that my prayers may reach their hearts some Day...
How do you handle it when you have all five adult churches living with you. For reasons such as expenses, not married and things like that. We all get along good but just wondering. Thanks Fr.
They certainly have to pray for him. If he tells them something good, they should listen. If he becomes helpless, they need to help provide for his basic needs, if they can.😢
I’m in my 20s and have started to see my parents in a much different light. They were so abusive when I was younger and we’ve been trying to heal together but now when I look at them I don’t see my parents, I see 2 people who had hard lives and anger problems, inner turmoil and personal demons. When I see them I just see people, tired, aging and desperate to repair a relationship they think was too damaged to come back from. But I’m starting to forgive them, slowly day by day and I know I’ll always have my walls up to protect myself from possible future abuse but I know they’re trying and that’s what really matters to me now as an adult. I’ll be honest though, I don’t have a lot of respect for them after everything they did but I’m trying to teach myself to be the bigger person and show respect for my elders. It’s difficult.
I am currently going through the same thing. And I don't know if I should put myself in the position of seeing them for the holidays coming up. I would say a lot has changed as in my mom is no longer physically abusive, however she remarried and they are both very emotionally abusive. So no one is trying when it comes to that :( Do not know what to do.
Do you have children of your own? I’m not in contact with one of my parents because I had a similar relationship with my parents, but decided I could not bear to expose my kids to the disfunction and toxicity. They were already picking up on really bad behaviors as toddlers. 😭
@@karinabarros4183 You can only pray for them and protect yourself and any children you may have. You can't change them only God can change their heart and only if they are open and willing.
@@theangrydome I am like that too. And I would like Father Mike to respond and teach on that please! Because I'm searching, praying and seeking council for years but I still don't know how to handle the situation. Like the first person commented about him having to forgive and be the bigger person,I too have done that. And I also see my parents differently now that I am an adult. Having a family of my own,I am torn about how the toxicity of my past with my mother and father will affect my children. I had allowed us to have lots of conversation and frequently hang out but due to my mother's verbal and emotional abuse towards myself and my husband,I have not wanted to be around her or have my children around her. However,I do wonder if that's the correct decision?
Respect doesn't necessarily mean obey, especially if your parent or parents give you instructions that go against your relationship with God and those who are closer to you than they are. Sometimes it's the children who have to teach the parents. Since my parents were my first teachers, my siblings and I began to help my sick mother and then later my aging father. The job of taking care of my father became my little sister's. We help her when she asks us to. But my father does pretty well and is pretty independent. I am middle aged. There have been times when I submitted myself to the care of my children when I got hit by a drunk driver and then became disabled. They asked for help from a lot of different priests and doctors. Then I got better. All that said, I like that the catechism says what it says. From what Father Mike said, it seems like we're following through with God's plan for our family. Thanks Father!
I am so thankful for my parents, God granted me a 1 hour and 30 minutes talk with my father on the phone with me telling him I forgive him for everything he had said and done to me and I hope he forgive me too, it was a deep healing moment and he died couple days later
I serve a merciful God
I wish my parents were still around for me to listen to them
Appreciate what you have while you have it
I had a whole fallout from my family in 2018. I was moved out of home, parents tried cancelling my wedding.. they didn't approve of my wife. Tried controlling me narcissistically. All my siblings turned against me and my wife for no reasons but hate & they're supposed to be Catholic. My mum being the instigator narcissist. I always respected my parents, but from the moment I moved out of home my life became a living nightmare with my immediate family. It got so toxic that I could not visit my parents anymore. I felt extreme emotional anxiety. Couldn't handle being in their presence. My wife & I went to Catholic counselling about it, and her advice was we had to stay away. And the counsellor said our case was the worst she had ever heard. It's a very complex situation & my parents would not let up no matter what. I offer up all my struggles and difficulties with it all to Jesus Christ at the Altar.
That must feel really painful and at times embarrassing and guilt inducing. It may feel harder when you have your own children and can't share them with your lost family, or get their help. I pray you find community with others. Many of us in the Church understand how you feel. Thank you for not blaming us for pain caused by failed Catholics. You don't need to explain your situation or get anyone's approval. God sees it all. He has given you a new life and best of all, a wife to love. You're going to make a new and beautiful family. Have courage. I wish you joy.
You are not the only one in the world in a situation like this I too have a family who turned on me. Narcissistic mother, who does not like my husband. I haven’t spoken to my mother or siblings for over two years now due to the toxic nature of the relationship under the advice of my counselor for my mental health sake. However, our relationship started the downhill slide when I converted to Catholicism. I have struggled many times with wanting to reach out to speak with them, I grieve for once was, but I know if I reconnect I will just cause the cycle of hurt on myself all over again. I pray that someday there might be a healing but that would mean a change in behavior on their part not just empty words. I agree, a very complex situation for me too. It’s a shame she chose to do this and miss out on my life and the lives of her grandchildren but I leave it in Gods hands in God’s time.
I feel you guys😔 coz I’m in the same situation with my mom & my brother and I love them so much but they’re toxic and hated my husband who care and love them. I pray to God whatever His Will for us and I pray for their healing and forgiveness because I forgive them and I just love them from the distance.
I feel ypur pain. My mother was a serious manipulator, and was very devious. She did horrible things to me even as an adult. She kept vital information from me regarding my now EX-Husband that she learned before we married... she spread horrible rumors about me to the family... I became deathly ill when I turned 40, was given 6 months to live and she told the family I was faking it!!! Yet I had 5 prescriptions 3 of which were $75 to $350 a month... and was really sick for 7 years. She told the family she was paying ALL my bills, and I had my monthly SSDI Check to blow... when she never, ever gave me one dime and I had a child to support and a dead beat dad for my childs father! There is so much more than this too!!! I finally learned about it all and confronted her... she cried but never, ever apologized. YET as a Christian I had to forgive because the bible says honor your mother and father and BELIEVE ME... I PRAYED A LOT to get thru it and then became her care giver, health care advocate and Power of Attorney because my sister, whom the family all thought was super sweet... TRIED TO STEAL HER $$$ & she was left VERY comfortable by my father with and decent 6 figures in the bank, yet she BLEW thru it ALL!!! It has left a lot of scars... and I don't trust all that easily any more. She passed away a few years ago and I was completely exhausted. I left for work every morning @ 6:30, worked till 2pm, ran errands for her, cared for her in her home till she went to bed at 11pm and refused to go any earlier so I could go home and get adequate sleep... I had to make sure all lights were out, door locked and drive home. The gift there was I lived 1 mile away from her... but less than 6 hrs sleep under that kind of stress os NOT healthy, but she did not care. Sad! Sad!! SAD!!!
@Cynthia Robinson You can have peace and consolation knowing that God sees ALL of our efforts and what is in our heart and will reward us for it when we see Him.
This literally COULD NOT have come at a better time. Thank you Lord for always speaking to me through Fr.Mikes videos😊
Same here!
He makes sense...
Likewise!❤
Wish you talked about toxic narcissistic families too
It also says for parents not to provoke their children to anger because that causes problems too. It’s more one of those things that make sense to everyone but still take wisdom and virtue to practice them. Sadly everything good in life requires virtue to do or acquire. I guess we better just accept that and try to gain virtue so we can have good relations and nice things 🤷♀️
I adore my parents, God Bless them and you too, Father. I am reading the Bible In a Year with you just now, and hope to finish by next month. What a blessing you are, Father! Thank you for your ministering to us, always great messages! I am taking your Catechism course at the first of next year, what a blessing it is and I thank you, Father for this, too!
I also adore my parents. Despite what my Mum has done.
My Dad was, is wonderful (dec.March).
I won't go into what's happened, that's in other comments.
I do want to honour my Mum despite the terrible predicament I'm in.
I can forgive Mum, I don't need her to ask for it.
Now though I need my Dad, God to forgive me & Mum & God to rescue me from the evil doings.
Please pray for my dad. He lives in a gated community in CA, has mild to moderate Alzheimer’s. He’s 90 years-old and I’m afraid I’ll never see him again! There’s a couple where he lives who are stealing from him! They’ve taken over his life and we can’t get past the guards at the gate in order to see him. I’m devastated. I have prayed and prayed regarding this situation. I’m trying to honor my father’s last years, but I can’t even call him, they’ve taken his phone. The police won’t help. Adult Protective Services has been called @ 7 times, by his doctor, his bank and myself. I need your prayers. Thank you 🙏.
Steal your dad back. Get in there, steal him back. Check out when there are the weakest guards, get some friends with muscles and steal him back.
You might want to threaten them by posting their case on social media or sending it to the person/institution who finances the gated community.
Apart from obvious solutions to consider, pray to Mary, Un-tier of Knots or St. Rita of Impossible Cases or St. Jude of Hopeless Cases or St. Anthony to find a way in to help your father. Don't fret. Trust in God to show the way. Don't forget to pray to St. Michael for protection. Of course, don't do anything illegal. With God, there's always a way out. St. Peter, whose chains fell off of him while imprisoned, should also help you.
Praying 🙏
🙄
🙏🏼
I love this advice, and I love the reminder how amazing the catechism really is. Such an incredible document. As a convert, I never expected the catechism to be one of my favorite discoveries of the faith.
I know, right?! The Catechism brings in so much clarity. When I came back from my baptist years, it was the Catechism which made my faith firm. No more personal interpretation of how God is or how solid teachings could be interpreted otherwise.
Father Schmitz, you help me a lot in walking the straight and narrow, please pray for a happy catholic marriage with my love! Thank you and God bless, Father! Your advice helped me a lot to mature in the ways of the Faith in the last couple of months, I am forever grateful!
Without going into too much detail, I have a neighbor who is 53, never married but educated and she was not given the things she needed to navigate life on her own. This is not in the US, btw. A situation has arisen with our mutual landlady, who should be contacting me and one other tenant who are affected by it. She chooses to speak only to this neighbor as she is about 150 Km away. Thinking about it, just before I started watching this video, I realized that while my mother wasn't a nice person and really resented the fact that I wasn't her mini-Me, she equipped me to face life on my own and for that I was grateful.
As a man in my 50’s experiencing the joys of purchasing my mom’s house for her to remain in, I appreciate this video.
❤😊
My greatest happiness in life comes from following Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. So I’m keeping faith in him. As a single mother things tend to be difficult on me. My husband passed years ago so I’m alone. I’m overwhelmed because both of my children are autistic and non verbal. I’m struggling trying to support them and myself. I lost my job as a social worker at Forsyth because I declined the vaccine. I declined because of my pre existing health condition lupus and heart disease. I was denied my medical/religious exemption. I wish I could go back to the hospital but the mandate is still in place for hospitals that participate in Medicare and Medicaid. I’m waitressing and I’m so thankful to be working again, but I’m not making nearly enough to make ends meet. I’m so discouraged and ready to give up because I receive so much hate for sharing my testimony. But God gives me strength to keep me going. I’m so tired of struggling trying to pay bills. Every month is a struggle, to not end up on the streets. It’s embarrassing and overwhelming! But God doesn’t gives us anything we can’t handle! I have faith God will provide. He HAS THIS FAR. WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! I BELIEVE!
Your faith is inspiring. I am cheering you on and will pray for you! God bless you!
My heart goes out to you. I raised my daughter on my own too (husband abandoned us) and I know the struggle all too well. We were both blessed with good health and yet it was still a struggle. My daughter's an adult now but when I was raising her there were many times when things seemed bleak and it's only in hindsight that I'm able to see that God was there protecting and providing for us the whole time. Know that widows and orphans are particularly precious to God and He will always be there for you. Sending you much love and praying that God will send His angels to watch over you and that He provide a strong support system for you.
You are an incredibly strong woman of the Lord! He will bless you and your children. It is so hard not to give up and to doubt God, but you have this strong faith and strong devotion to your children. You'll get to a comfortable and peaceful place for you and your kids soon. God bless!❤
I praise and thank God for having blessed me and my siblings with very loving parents. Respecting them naturally flows from our love for them. God bless them 🕊️🤍🙏
Thank you Fr Mike 🌟
Brothers and sisters as children of God we are called to obey our Father in Heaven and our earthly parents.
Parents our first best friend, teacher and counsellor.
A parents love is something no one can explain
It's made up of deep devotion and sacrifice
It protects and guides us from afar
Shedding light upon us like a bright and shining star
My childhood gave me memories that will last forever.
Wiping away million tears and giving me strength when I had none and always calming my fears.
No matter how old I might get, will always seek advice from you
From family holidays to Sunday roast
To special holidays to Sunday toast
From camping trips in the rain
And we owe all our childhood memories to you🌻
Father Mike is here, doctor of wisdom, compassion, and charity. What an angel from Heaven! The doctor is in!
Thank you Father Mike and all of Ascension Presents, I needed to hear this. God bless you!!!
I have always been thankful for my folks...they helped me thru my illness...and I cherish everyday they are with me on earth. It radically changed me....chaos does that.
Sure... who doesn't love their parents? But ABSOLUTELY... I need and want my parents (and in-laws) to understand that I am (we are) an adult with my own family now so the dynamics WILL be different because now, we're in the same role as parents.
Thank you Lord for forgiveness, and another chance for a change of heart.
In Ephesians it talks about children obeying parents and in general to honor parents. Back in biblical times people stayed under their father's roof (authority) until they created their own household with their own spouse. At that point they went from being children having to obey the headship of the household (their parents) to being the head of their own household (husband and wife) and thus no longer required to obey but still required to honor (no expiry on honoring parents). Also, people tended to marry when still quite young. At least that's my understanding. I think, however, that we need to hear what it means to honor our parents and the different ways it takes place especially in the case of neglectful and abusive parents. My dad, for example, tried to murder my brother (because he was disabled which my dad couldn't accept). My brother went on to commit suicide. I've managed to come to terms with my own family situation. I've prayed a lot for God to help me forgive and to let go of the anger and resentment I felt towards my parents. I also prayed for my parents and helped financially when I could (they have now passed on). But I had to do this from a distance to preserve my own mental and spiritual health. Often people assume that if you have limited or no contact with your parents it's because you're not willing to forgive or are being selfish. In most cases that I know of it's to preserve your own mental health. Honoring parents shouldn't come at the expense of your own mental and spiritual health. Strong boundaries are sometimes needed (especially if you have children of your own who you need to protect from negative influences).
Fr mike you answer stuff i didnt know i had a questions about your a great person
Thank you so much for sharing. I've always been driven by guilt when trying to keep my parents happy but now I feel I can choose better ❤
Thanks Father Mike for this encouraging and reflective piece of information. You also motivate me to stretch more than I could possibly imagine. God bless.💞
God bless you. Thank you Father Mike.
Thanks!
I wonder if love is more about what we DO rather than how we feel? I don't think we can control our feelings of hurt or anger when dealing with a difficult parent, but we can DO the next loving thing towards them. Lord help us to DO love especially when we don't feel it as you did for us in Gethsemane, during the scourging, in the crucifixion...
Great video, Father Mike! Family individuals need to know that they belong and are valued. My complement is that it is not enough for parents to say they value their children, but for children to know this in their hearts. A child who is loved, but either doesn't believe it or doesn't sense or perceive it, will be insecure and not value it and the relationship will fail.
When parents are too busy with duties or distractions or when children are left alone to become self-absorbed, the crucial cognisance of being valued will be vacant and, if not resolved, a crisis will result. Ironically, in such a situation, there can be the semblance of a positive relationship with parents and children playing games and engaging in entertainment, but their actual focus is not each other, but on the pleasure from the leisure or entertainment; and they can actually be, in fact, not aware of any intended social appreciation.
Sadly, I know this from experience and much reflection. I didn't know that I was loved, and, in turn, I really didn't know, appreciate, love, or honour my parents. It's one thing to love what material support they provide and even take this for granted. It's another to become sensitive to the parent. We were too busy with other activities. It took a long time to become aware of this and to try to change my part in the relationship.
I believe that daily family prayer would have opened our hearts to God and to each other, but this didn't happen, and it was tragically too late. It was a case not of hatred, but indifference due to worldliness and self-absorption in good things without prayer and God's love. As obvious as this was in hindsight, evidently no one saw it while it was right before us, if only we had eyes to see through the enlightenment and sensitivity that prayer yields and reflection discloses.
I’m all for respecting my parents, and taking care of them in their age, but now that I’m an adult, living in my own house, I won’t allow them to make my decisions for me, and I won’t let them tell me that I can’t do something that I wanna do. Just because you’re a mother or father, doesn’t mean you can keep telling me what to do. I’m 22, so I’m smart enough to know what’s good and what’s bad for me.
In your situation, you owe them RESPECT, but your are NOT obligated to OBEY (since you’re living on your own/indeoendent
What the other person said. But no you don't know what is right or wrong for you. And even if you do know doesn't mean you'll do what is right for yourself.
Thank you Fr Mike,
Thank you Father Mike, God bless you. This really helped me, thank you. 🙏🏻☀️
Though, I'm not Catholic, I found this video very helpful. I want to thank Fr. Mike for clearing up what honoring your father and mother actually means. I have been struggling with it for years.
My parents have been divorced for 30 years, and the older they get the more toxic and abusive they become. I was forced to no contact them years ago for my own personal well-being. I've never felt so much wrath for them in my entire life during that time. I have to honor these people WHILE they're so toxic and dishonorable??? It felt so painfully wrong.
When Fr. Mike said that we must always respect the OFFICE that they hold as our parents, it finally started to click in my head. NOW, it's making sense. Yes, it's easy to respect the fact that they are our biological mother and father. That is the office in which they hold. We don't have to respect by default how they MANAGE that office. My father brainwashed me for a lifetime making me think I have to respect them no matter how disgusting their behavior towards me and my siblings. Making me think they are ENTITLED to all the respect. Now that I'm fully emancipated from them, they need to EARN my respect back if they ever want to see me again. I want to see them heal and improve, but all I can do for them at this point is pray for them.
My parents are Protestant (particularly evangelical Baptist) and while they are good parents and I converted to Catholicism at 29 officially. My dad has had some close calls dad has had with cancer but right now, he is cancer free and mom is healthy for the most part.
Thank you Fr. Mike!
Honor and obey are not the same. I didn't have proper parents but I had an obsession with religion because I liked to learn about it and the others. I'm also a bookworm. I read like I should be a librarian.
Thanks for making this clear Fr. Mike. Good video.
I am 65 years old and I still obey and respect my 88 year old mother. My mother has Dementia.
I can't wait for Catechism in a year that's exciting. If Catechism in a year is anything like Bible in a year Father Mike will make it so interesting you're going to want to continue in it.
Fr Mike really explains well, he helps me understand
Seek cooperation, not obedience. Remember that you are raising an adult, not merely caring for a child. The freedom of thought and individuality they arent permitted to express due to your desire to have them obey and jump at your command, will manifest anyway in their adulthood but with much resentment and negativity toward their relationship with you.
If you want your children to love you, if you want them to talk to you about more than just the weather when they're older, seek cooperation, not obediance.
What happens when you're semi emancipated? Living under the same roof, but not dependent? Not paying house bills, but not needing anything from parents as far as personal bills, food and so on?
Being 67 years old now there were difficulties stemming from conversion to the Catholic Church as a young adult. Not being Catholic and originally being unchurched but holding a typical Protestant disdain for the Church, we had to navigate through the typical objections. It got heated at times and there was a time of separation to cool off. Many, many, MANY rosaries later We finally called a truce, transcended our differences and we were able to reunite before their deaths. Here’s the big take away.
The old axiom “you can’t give what you don’t have” is critical in understanding parent/child relationships. I love my parents and realized later their skill set didn’t reach to that level. Forgiveness is important but so is knowing their limitations. So, stop with psychobabel and realize these situations require prayer, sacrifice and LOVE.
I have a heavy heart knowing that some have parents who've hurt them and some have parents who've supported them. It is a great injustice that we might assume all people have the same resources or experiences. Some are more fortunate in more ways than money.
My parents were angry, had no patience and didn't listen so just ignored them for the most part. Even as an adult I stay away from other adults like that.
At 36 y/o my parents said to me, “you have not been part of our lives for 17 years (I committed the ultimate sin & got married at age 19)! My father statement, “ like a turned page in a book; I just read forward!”In 50 years, he came to my home maybe 10 times. In the last 18 months he does not respond to texts or phone calls. According to my Priest, I have fulfilled my responsibilities & this decision is his! This dysfunctional legacy has been passed onto 2/4 siblings. So I have mercy:forgive them, pray for them, & give them to Divine Mercy Jesus who will send His Holy Spirit-who can fix their souls✝️🙏🏻 I unite this “woundedness” to Crucified Jesus & offer it to God:Crestor-Father in reparation of my sins🙏🏻✝️
Greetings Father Mike,
Thanks for the Wonderful Prologue for The Catechism of The Catholic Church with an interesting Sum Everything up to The Obedience before Lord Jesus Christ during all Age Periods in every aspects of Life.
My Prayers with Everyone for Well-being of Parents in all aspects.
With regards,
RanjithJoseph (R.J)
this video i needed thank you father
Fr. Mike can you please do a video about forging our identity(dealing more with our relationship with God compared with our relationship with the world and society)?
As soon as we take time out regularly to be alone with God, filling our mind with His Holy Scriptures and with the lives of the Saints, purposely investing in feeding our soul with Truth, avoiding everything scuzzy, then our hearts will expand and have more capacity to absorb the Will of God, and we will become more aware of His Infinitely loving Presence and all the ways He touches us.❤🎉
Thanks Fr.
For the young ones in the comments I want to jump on here and give you some advice I WISH I had at your age.
Forgive your parents.
I understand how hard that is for some of you.
I know it was for me.
Trust me. My mother was an incest survivor and was very abusive because she was messed up from the abuse she received from her own parents. The abuse was only made worse by my preexisting disabilities that amplified both the physical and emotional pain. I was semi-suicidal for a lot of my life.
And I didn't start getting better till I let go of all of that.
It was an exorcist that told me to do so.
He said the devil loves to drag us around by our emotional wounds and if we don't take the time to heal and work past the trauma and forgive. The he's going to use those bad wounds to throw us into a even more Dangerous encounter.
(something I sadly know to well as an ex witch)
I let my wounds pull me away from God.
Don't let your wounds become foot holds like I did.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you need to see the person.
It just means you had and honest talk with God.
This is the formula that was Done for me. It does involve a priest.
But it works really well.
An Act of Forgiveness
(Note: Forgiveness does not mean that what the person did to harm someone was okay. It also
does not mean the one hurt should have “warm feelings” about the other person. Rather, it is
an act of the will to let go of the hurt and to will the good of the other. This is
important. Demons feed off unforgiveness. Moreover, unforgiveness can dysfunctionally bond
the person to the abuser and the one harmed can remain a perpetual victim, under the control
of the abuser. Forgiveness allows the person to let go of the person who caused the harm, to be
open to God’s healing, and to be set free.)
PEOPLE: In the name of Jesus Christ, I willingly forgive anyone who has hurt or harmed me
(including N., N., N., etc...).
[I forgive them from the bottom of my heart and I ask God to bless them. (3 times)]
Priest: I witness your forgiveness. I ask God to heal any unforgiveness and all inner wounds
and trauma. May God heal you and all those who have hurt you. May you be released from
any dysfunctional attachments, be healed in your heart, and set free in the name of Jesus. In
the name of Jesus may you be healed. In the name of Jesus, be at peace.
----
I would also Suggest praying to St Raphael to help heal your emotional wounds.
He has done amazing things for me and I am very firmly devoted to him.
Granted I love the holy trinity more💖
But I hope some of you find this helpful.
I've been where you are and I want you to know the abuse from your parents was never something God would of wanted for you.
He loves you so much he endured abuse till death because he wanted to make sure he could save you from where you are right now.
He understands the hurt and pain you are in. He has experienced it too, and is standing with you like a good friend trying to help you recover.
Please give him your heart and trust him to take care of it.
Because he really will💖
I'll be praying for all of you 💖
Oh and I almost Forgot.
If you don't have parents or if they were abusive towards you.
Remember, they are not the only parents God gave you.
You are part of the exact reason God made Mother Mary and Saint Joseph our universal parents.
And if you develop a relationship with them. They will love you just as much as Jesus.
I remember crying when I consecrated myself to Mary and learned that God loved me so much that he made sure I always have a loving mother. 💖
And I will tell you she is a bit of a mama bear and prays for people like us constantly 💖
We are her forget-me-knots. You know the alternative name for those flowers? They're called Marys eyes.
And that's because while the rest of the world forgot us. She didn't. Her eyes are never off us and she makes sure we know that. Sometimes it just takes a little. 💖
Oh wow. Thank you.
@@WilsonAcres of course I hope it helps💖
Great witness you've shared here brother
Thanks for sharing 💖
@@null-xf9pd thanks 💖
Thanks father mike!❤
Dad(narcissist) pretends I don't exist and resent being reminded(rarely, by me) and told not to remind him of my last birthday; He hardly does anything for me, yet exepects me to owe him gratitude(for what?!). I am 59; he and I are Catholic. I don't live with him. He still tries to control me with a lecturing tone, for things I have not done (or mildly) yet! He is still trying to control me. He tells me that he goes to Mass. Fine; He expects me to go to Church in any weather (1/2 hour walk each way). He does not offer to bring me to Mass. He is unreasonable! Everything has to be his way or the highway. Help.
He does not earn/deserve any respect/obedience. Dad expects me to blindly obey him. He has always resented his reponsibilty and made that clear. Yet, I am expected to be at his beck and call. Unreal!
He doesn't(never has) respect me; mostly because I am female and a grown daughter; yet, he can't get off his duff to do anything. It's awful. Very one-sided: to my detriment. He is so narcissistic.
😄😄😄😄 love the title!!!
Fr Mike explained it very well people . Thank you “doctors of the church” 🤣
Not sure what is going on with the editing, but it is distracting to have the picture jumping in and out.
I'm curious about how obedience and "respect" in the church are defined, and what are the church's thoughts about obedience and respect regarding codependent/enmeshed family dynamics - essentially dysfunctional family systems.
I'm 52 and my parents aren't speaking to me because 3 years ago I asked them to STOP projecting ''paranoid'' on to me. They were the victims of that. They were hurt (not me). They are the judge of whether or not they hurt me and *THEY DID NOT* so therefore, my perspective is an act of aggression I the persecutor perpetrate against them the victims.
I had this discussion with my great granddaughter and her boyfriend just tonight and I told them that no matter how old or big they are the are never bigger than their parents.
Never bigger, but children grow up to be just as big.
@@BitsyBee they can be as big but they need to always respect their parents. I realize respect has to be earned, but I have a very good relationship with my children, grandchildren and my great grandchildren are my best friends, we spend a lot of time together and I enjoy them and am honored that we get to spend time together.
@@bettyallen4121
Respect is EARNED. My mother threw me out of my home at the age of 16 because a new boyfriend didn't like me. My father claimed me as a dependent on his taxes when I was completely on my own so he could claim a tax credit that should have gone to my schooling.
I can forgive them, but I owe them no respect. Considering how much their thievery and selfishness has negatively impacted my life, I owe them no support when they grow old.
I would love a video that deals with identity and (most specifically sexual identity) through a Catholic Lens, because I am really struggling with this.
I would listen to the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast because sexual identity is not particularly something you are. According to the podcast, we are a multiplicity and not always a single person. We are made up of parts and our parts have desires that affect The Self. I would listen to episode 37-50. I would also map out your parts. Helps tremendously.
Your identity is a beloved child of GOD any attempt to create an identity out of a desire or taste for something or someone is a hollow sham of an identity that can never fulfill
I recommend his book, Made For Love, on this topic. It presents the true Catholic perspective, and it is wise and compassionate, as you would expect from Fr. Mike.
Ascension Presents has made a lot of videos about this topic, you could check it out typing "Ascension Presents Sexuality" in the searching bar. There is also a video featuring Father Mike from the Matt Fradd Show. Praying for you 🙏🏻
I'm no expert and I have my spiritual struggles too, but I can offer you my prayers and a few suggestions that may help you. Draw what benefit you can from it.
I would suggest going to adoration regularly. Information from videos will really help and Fr. Mike is an angel from Heaven on so many subjects. Learning from him can go a long way. At the same time, simply being in the presence of God's infinite love and compassion for you can reach and heal your heart in ways no one but God can see, because He is all-knowing and all-powerful. This did wonders for me, and I can say I've been through many dark nights of the soul.
For your part, I would also strongly encourage you to relieve your conscience of any transgressions through sacramental confession, having prepared by reviewing your conscience with a Catholic examination of conscience which can easily be found online. Relieving your soul and mind helps dispose you to greater freedom, spiritual enlightenment, and receptivity of God's grace.
If you haven't been in a while, don't worry. At least most priests I know are as gentle as lambs. Find one with whom you're comfortable. You might even find a spiritual director. In any case, just go at your own pace and don't feel pressured to move too fast. At least you are watching Father Mike's videos and seem open and keen to advance through your time of trial.
One other thing to remember that is important to bear in mind that the fallen angels who hate God knows that they can antagonise God by attacking God's children with temptations and vexations such as confusion about identity and all other sins etc. Do your level best to avoid occasions of temptation without becoming anxious. In fact, insofar as you resist the temptations, you are actually growing in virtues, perhaps the hard way, but this glorifies God; and you can be sure that He is present there during your trials with abundant grace to give you; but the hard part can be to remember this when you're distracted, tempted, frustrated, or struggling. With prayer and practice, you can grow in trust in Him during these moments or periods and peace will abound.
On that note, you can also search online for Bible verses to help defend yourself against temptations and vexations about identity or any other sins. They can be a great defense and consolation. You may also wish to learn simple prayers such as the St. Michael Prayer. The rosary is immensely powerful as well as the Chaplet of Mercy. I recently came across one from St. Benedict that I really like. “Holy Cross, be my light. May the dragon never be my guide.
Get away, Satan! Never tempt me with your vanities! What you offer me is evil. Drink the poison yourself!” There is also the Prayer to Take Authority and many others.
I hope some of this helps you and doesn't overwhelm you. Trust in God. He will see you through this, but sometimes there is no elevator out of the dark night of the soul. It can be steps all the way and sometimes one forward and two backwards or like a child learning to walk or ride his bike. A few falls and scraps may be part of it. Just keep persevering like Jesus Who died for us, because He loves us. May He bless you abundantly. PS: If you can find a local or online prayer group, it's nice to have a community that cares for you spiritually. :) Blessings.
Hey father Mike can you make a movie about it if parents disrespect us what should we do should we get mad and back and tell them to leave me alone I'm a Catholic and I love go all my heart on my soul this will be a good blessing you make a movie in parents disrespect us what should we do
Any advice for how to healthfully interact with parents that are strongly opposed to their adult son/daughter joining the Catholic Church?
Very true. My mom didn't like it when I joined the Catholic church. I didn't listen to my mom. I've been Catholic. for 48 years. Now I'm age. 66 before 4 months. And I'm still comfortable. I recently came back to the camp for church. I made it a mistake. Did all my confessions . Taking they eucharistic . Been back to the Catholic Church. 20 weeks. Going to mass every Sunday.. I know my parents wouldn't like it. But there are 2 old to do anything about it now. My dad passed away 2019. My mom is age 89. . She has Dimensia. It's hard for her to remember what I'm talking to her.
I love God all my heart on my soul but we all have strokes of sin we don't get what we want for my but I respect my mom about what I love him all about what can you please make a move
Awesome. I love your videos! Can you make one on Holy Water?
Great suggestion!
Even if I’m still at home (I’m 25) where’s the line? I respect and obey my parents, but what happens when they are affecting my adult life and not letting me make my own decisions?
Why are you still living with your parents if they're not letting you be an adult?
My parents kicked me out and left me homeless 5 days after I turned 18. They were abusive to me my entire life. I try to follow the policy “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” Is ignoring them disrespectful? It’s really not good for my mental health to have them in my life but they try to guilt trip me and refer to me as a prodigal son that will come running back to them eventually but I cannot handle that. You say it’s an adult child’s responsibility to care for their parents when they get old as they did for us when we were children, but my parents didn’t care about me so I don’t feel like I owe them anything. I just want to live my life in peace. Is that too much to ask?
Great topic!
Can you make the distinction between emancipating the family home to be “on your own” so to speak but like let’s say you’re leaving for college and still financially supported by your parents. Example, I pay for a large portion of my daughter’s rent so she can finish school. I realize I don’t have to do that but it was the only way I could convince her to get into school. She does pay a little towards the rent, not much and she has other expenses paid while she’s in college-but how does obedience work in this case bc she’s an adult and no longer living with me but also not fully independent financially.
I will never stop obeying my Mom and My sister. Atm..I'm 16 and I obey my mom to the max, and I do everything for my sister!...She is 14.
Everyday, I come home from school and the 1 st thing I do, is give my mom my phone...don't want any distractions, then I do my homework, then all the chores for that day, which must be done to my moms satisfaction. Then I do whatever she tells me to do with no back talk or arguing.
With my sister, I do ALL of her chores and let her take all the credit so she gets paid for them. I clean up ALL of her messes. When she does something wrong, I take blame for it so she dont get in trouble. I do all of her homework so she can do what she wants to do! I never argue with her! When we are both home....I wait on her hand and foot....she never has to lift a finger!
What does the Catechism state about absent parents? My biological father was never part of my life (has never even seen me in person) and has come into my life as an adult, seemingly demanding respect and my time/energy.
I know he helped to create me, but he's essentially a stranger. My step dad and my uncle raised me, what is my duty to my biological father in the eyes of the church? Am I failing as a Catholic by willingly not engaging with him?
I'm on a spiral of distraction and lack of purpose. I'm 20 somebody help 😮💨
Ask for the intercession of Saint Philomena ask her to help you find the meaning of your life
Saint Rita is amazing saint for people who lost their hope.
But it is normal to feel lack of purpose sometimes. That's the chance to find a real reason of our existence. To find God who waiting for us, to help us.
I will pray for you in my rosaries and daily prayers 🙏✝️🛐🙏May Jesus surround You with His Infinite LOVE Amen🌹✨🕊️
Volunteer or find something you can do daily that is outside yourself, pray and at 20 I was wilfully making bad choices, the fact that you realize there is a problem is half the battle
Father Mike make a movie about respect our parents if they don't respect do we have the right to disrespect back
You should respect parents, because at any age, they may have some help or experience to pass on to you. Just as well, as an adult, you have your contemporary knowledge, so they should also listen to you.
My mom can barely warm her coffee in the new microwave oven, so she always asks me how to operate the thing, and my dad needs help with the cell phone or computer.
I strongly recommend that all Catholics read the Cathechism of the Catholic Church as Father Mike suggested. It is well written, organized, and provides guidance to help us follow the teachings of Jesus. It also quotes scripture and explains how the Church interprets those quotations in accordance with the teaching authority that Christ gave to the Magisterium.
My mother takes advantage of me by asking unfair things of me (treating me like a servant) and when I give a little resistance or question her logic, which is hardly ever (I don’t even say no unless I am literally unable to do it) she blows up, swears at me, slams things, says that she hardly asks anything of me, belittles me, lies to make herself look better, makes me out to be the bad one because I refuse to give in to her emotional abuse and then the storms off. Later she’ll come downstairs all tearful and apologise WITH conditions meaning she’ll say “Sorry BUT you have to understand-“ and then she goes on to make excuses for everything, basically softening the blow and nullifying the apology. Then if I don’t immediately accept her apology, she’s quick to get defensive and say something like “Well come on, say something, I feel like you aren’t accepting my apology”.
I am almost 23 years old and I will be leaving the country soon to get married. I currently live under her roof. I would only obey her within reason, meaning if she asks something unreasonable of me, I won’t give in and do it. I still give her respect and I am trying my hardest to forgive her. Is there anything you guys think I should do?
And just to be clear, she claims that she hardly asks anything of me, I believed that for the longest time, but my partner noticed how much she really asks of me day in, day out. It is constant.
I noticed you made no mention of your father, so I'm assuming he isn't in the picture anymore? If that's the case, then I can help you understand why she's acting so toxic towards you.
Father Mike..🤣🤣🤣.Amen! God told us to pardon those who transgressed. No age limit to forgiveness in our lifetime. Let's not forget that we come from our parents! Therefore, when God gives us the time, we must be there for them. God bless you!
Padre Mike... ¡Amén! Dios nos dijo que perdonáramos a los que transgredieron. No hay límite de edad para el perdón en nuestra vida. ¡No olvidemos que venimos de nuestros padres! Por lo tanto, cuando Dios nos da el tiempo, debemos estar ahí para ellos. ¡Dios te bendiga!
if your a young adult but still living on your parents home because thats what asia country mostly even you got a job do you still follow them like a kid that are dependent on the parents? example when i have somethign to do very important for me but they have a favor but i need this to be done and i said you do it mama i have something going on that i need to do, is my response good or is it wrong ? help plssss is the obedience to parents depends on the material dependency on parents ?
I love the video, very helpful! I'm just not a fan of the new editing with the frequent in-zooming.
Am I expected, by the abuser, to forgive and forget the abuse?(Dad) He expects to be let off the hook so he can do it again. And give me a lecture about patience in a controlling tone/lecture. He caused me the problem; not the other way around. I don't trust him; ever. I have good reasons for feeling this; a lifetime of him telling me inappropriate things and telling me to keep them a secret.(it started at 12 1/2-inappropriate comments/questions/innuendoes, jokes about sex) I am 59 now. The messages still bother me.
I would be told not to tell anyone, that I could not say no him, other men, implying his brothers(one pulled the same jokes: not funny) when I was 26. They thought it was funny, made me joke. That's pathetic. I don't trust these two men, never will(for my own protection.) Dad says I have to forgive and forget. So he won't feel bad about what he has said for years, to me. Sickening.
My dad is probably battling St. Michael right now, as we speak, so that he can properly attack you for telling me (even as a grown-butted adult) that I don't have to listen to him.
I've prayed for reinforcements, just in case.
And, the blood of Christ over you.
Extra Holy Water.
Cool.
is respecting and obeying step parents included in this?
[Title of this video]
On behalf of the Latino community - short answer:
Yes. ^_^ lol
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
😂
Next do a video applying these principles in examples. Toxic, abusive, no boundaries, guilt inducing, passive aggressive, addicted, narcissist, parents who believe you should submit to their wishes even when you're a senior citizen, who don't respect your own parenting of the grandkids, and other difficult, real life situations are more common and make this teaching difficult to apply.
We need to invest more time and effort into honouring God Thankyou we invest in analyzing our feelings and naming other people’s shortcomings, for starters. The more we love God, the more His Love will flood our hearts and overflow onto our neighbours.😅
When the kids are growing up, they have already moved out of the house. Do the parents get old? Can we take care of themselves the kids will be sponsibility? It's to help them if they're able to. I'm 66. When did my dad how to be in these 80s he got dimitcha He had to be put in the nursing home. We could not take care of him because we lived so far away. My family, the past Sacramento, we live in Woodland, California. Because of the distance, he had the people in the nursing home. Also, my mom had the same thing as my dad. She could not remember to take her medications, so she was put in a nursing home. Am I mom would fight with us? About going in the nursing home. It was for her own good. She would not take her medications. She could never remember she had one article. I'm too strokes.. How do you say it again if a person is able to help their parents and take care of them? It's their responsibility to do that. And we don't have the means. To help my parents. Because they live far away like I said. My other brother hes not a he would, too, is a mine of a four-year-old. But my other brother he lives 3 states away. He helped him financially. But I can't help financially. I'm on a fixing come. I'm on social security and a small pension. Because. I have 3 kids but we're still in school. I got 2 boys that are in middle school. I have a daughter in high school. And my wife she has to work 2 part-time jobs to make ends meet. Rent it's high. Car payment car insurance. Food for the family. So we're stuck between a rock and a hard police to help my parents we have no money saved. If we had the means to pay part of it we would. Medicare and Medical it's pain for the nursing home and their services. Because we do not have that, it falls on the taxpayers
Fr. Mike my girlfriend has really revealed herself to be a hardcore devoted cafeteria catholic. Can you do a video on this? I know you could come up with words that would really sway her!
What's a cafeteria Catholic? Just for my own understanding. Thanks and God bless.🙂
@@scojo6377 a Cafeteria Catholic is one who picks and chooses what she or he likes of the church teachings and ignores other teachings
@@meihui7767 thank you
@@meihui7767 Thank you, I have never heard that phrase before.
What if your still at home but support yourself and put down pay monthly for the house etc….
Do you have to obey your parents when you're an adult? I would say yes if you are living under their roof you would still be under their rules. However, if you have moved out and live on your own which it states in Genesis 2:24, "When a man leaves his parents he clings to his wife and the two become one flesh". In this case moving out you are no longer under your parents rules therefore you no longer are obligated to obey them as you are an independent person.
In my observation there are biological adults which is based upon a person's age like males are fully matured biologically at age 18 and females are fully matured biologically age 16. There is legally recognized adults in which society recognizes a person being of a certain age as an adult like in Japan at age 20 your considered an adult. And there is actual adults which is about being able to live on your own without relying upon your parents or others financially. For example a college student living in a dorm on campus that their parents are paying for their housing and tuition wouldn't be actual adults because they are still dependent upon their parents to pay their way. A better terminology of them would be adult children.
Adults take charge of themselves and don't depend upon others to provide for them unless of course they are an invalid in which others provide for them.
😢 I'm an adult male who has never been able to leave my parents do to being born with a personal problem., I have put my wants needs goals and dreams aside for them 😉
Genuine question. With respect to being there for elderly parents as much as one can; does that apply if, for example, one's father sexually targeted and assaulted his son's wife and caused a massive rift in the family as a result? If the son and his wife have taken years to reflect and forgive this father... but still can't really stand to be around him.... as they still called to 'be there' for him in his old age?
That son could chip in for basic healthcare costs, even from a distance. Pray for him, have Masses offered for his conversion, send him necessities...❤😢Love thé sinner, hate the sin.
No. My mother has abused me for years and by the once and for all sacrifice of Christ who did that for me and by my acceptance I do not require to respect her. She has facilitated ritualistic abuse of me by my half siblings and most recently I even found an odd letter by my brother stating his deep love for me… I was 14 and he was around 29 or 30. She pushed my child out and went to my sisters on his request to isolate me and he came in to abuse me. So absolutely not. No. 100% no. That’s the tip of the iceberg. She had my sister abuse me and then lied in corroboration against me on more than one account.
The abuse is something she facilitated since I was a child. She is vulgar.
Thanks to God I believe in Christ and I’m not a denier. In the scriptures it actually tells us that unless we hate our parents we cannot be disciples of Jesus.
I absolutely love and respect my Father. I have also talked about this. I have always also had a propensity for also caring for the bad and evil and abusers but that’s where it ends. I do not have to respect them. It says by God that we must hate evil denounce and look down on it.
I’ve given up everything to be there for her when all she has done is abuse me. NO MORE.
@@Forbiddenangel989 thank you and many blessings to you. It is unfortunately part of growing up. Even adult children are always evolving as are parents. Some people might look like they have perfect lives but they are probably in denial or liking the worldly aspects of what their parents do for them.
I had things given to me and taken away- so much abuse not only physically, through resources, finances even stalking and attacking my family and the faith. Persecution for having the Holy Spirit. The biggest difficulty is going through life onwards in an improved manner re the faith because you are out there and they know that. It is literally like the devil going after Mary and the children of God as it says. They are evil and we do not need to bow to them or respect their choices to be at one with Satan and go against God and God’s own. It is not worthy of any form of respect - ever or at all.
We do need to care for them (as much as it if we can) in at least praying for their change.
I pray for you too. It sounds like you were treated very badly and suffered a lot. It’s good to hear you came out of that and things are going much better. 🙏
@@Forbiddenangel989 thank you once again for your lovely message ❤️🙏
I'm so sorry you went through all of this. Amazing that you were able to keep your faith. God bless you.
I’m sorry for your pain. But as someone who also has been through abuse by parents. I have learned after much spiritual direction, that to “ honour” your parents means to Will the good of another. It does not mean we need to see them, speak with them ect. By distancing ourselves from them can be an act of love because we are not giving them a chance to commit sin by adding more abuse.
But we are called to pray for them and that God will give them the spiritual graces needed for their conversion.
I hope this helps.
Praying for many blessings for you 🤗
@Gangari TheWanderer you have clearly got the wrong message as nothing you have said has anything to do with this or anything any that single person has said on this thread whatsoever.
I Love my parents so much, im really grateful for them raising me the way they did...but the "religion" topic is a Hard one to touch. Im 17 years old, and even having some kind of independence, they insist to criticize my choice of bring a practicing catholic...even being taught about christ by them, they think that the Church is retrogade, fanatic, etc. It's passive agressivo how they talk about it...always saying how this and that are things of the past, how the mass is unnecessary, how sexual interpretations are too rigid, or how the sacraments are illogical...it's tiring, one Day my dad even said that this would kill me, that it's stupid to be "dogmatic", that real Life doesn't work like that, that morality is not able to be practiced fully...this hurt me deeply, and i cried like a baby because of the terrible things they said... it was almost a cry for help, but for who? Maybe God gives us battles that we can surpass...this is mine...I hope that my prayers may reach their hearts some Day...
How do you handle it when you have all five adult churches living with you. For reasons such as expenses, not married and things like that. We all get along good but just wondering. Thanks Fr.
❤️
Any advice for someone who’s parents are anti-Catholic?
Looks like I need to move out. LOL
No but seriously I’m almost 27 and they never want me to move. Now I’m more motivated 😂
What if my children’s father never raised them nor lived with him???? Do they have to respect him? Does he have a right to discipline them?
They certainly have to pray for him. If he tells them something good, they should listen. If he becomes helpless, they need to help provide for his basic needs, if they can.😢
If I wasn’t raised in the faith I would be me .
Jesus is the reason for Christmas.
Jesus é a razão do Natal.
Jesús es el motivo de la Navidad.
Does the Ascension Edition of the Catechism contain the revision promulgated by Pope Francis?