Retired Stormtrooper's Wife: "Look, darling, i got our little baby boy a teddy bear." Retired Stormtrooper: *starts screaming and babbling incoherently*
Stormtrooper: “they weren’t anything close to cute,. They slaughtered us like animals” Anakin’s Force ghost: “was it just the men or the women and children too?”
@@genericidiot4810 indeed, yet you yourself have yet to eperiance his true power, he will bend systems to his will, he will choke out an entire room from across the galaxy without loosing eye contact and that stare... that stare is the most terrifying thing ever known to sentiant life...
Words have their meanings updated to reflect the society they are being used in all the time. I see no reason to think that they would keep such an archaic and singular view of the word murder in a civilization that has grown to include so many different high thinking individuals. That being said I still don't think Murder Bear is a good name because it implies that you killed for no reason at all or for a reason that didn't warrant that level of a reaction. Most of the examples were just them defending themselves. They didn't appear to be the antagonist and only responded with violence after suffering harm and in order to protect themselves. Since murder means the killing was illegal then I don't feel it applies because this would be considered self defense, not murder. They literally had other species showing up to their planet just to turn them into jerky.. I didn't see a single thing that made me think their "Dark" past is an "Evil" one. Maybe "Retaliatory Justice Bears" but that really doesn't sound as good as "Murder Bears"
@@JamieDWestII you have a good point. If we ever come across other sentient species or have other species here on earth gain sentience whether naturally or otherwise, our concept of what constitutes murder will necessarily evolve.
I remember reading a comic about the battle of Endor from the view of an Imperial veteran in the famous Mos Eisley cantina. It's been a while so this might not be accurate but the quote generally went as follows: "We had a trooper. He finally let the whispers get to him. He went charging out of the camp, blaster firing everywhere. What he forgot to account for was eventually you run out of ammo. We found him in the morning. Those things... They did things to him." Cut to a panel showing a stormtrooper helmet on a spike, facing the Imperial camp, with the head still inside.
Rumor has it they were originally scripted to be wookies, but Lucas later decided to make them something more marketable to children. Guess he never removed their savagery, though
Just happened to be humans Their "Golden God" asked them to help the rebels that included humans as well 😏 What is "Scary" is them being indifferent to a ally Human like Leah vs humans caught in the meat traps.......its just comes down to how you've intracted with them
wait so the legendary Darth Revan is afraid of some small teddy bears? here i have one right here, whos a good boy? oh gimme a kis- AHHH ASDHSD AHH AGHHH GET IT OFFFF AHGHGHGGHGHGG...
I will never be able to look at an Ewok and think that there cute and cuddly furballs ever again but I have to say I would have loved to see a non-pg version of the Battle of Endor just for the Ewok Brutality. Also the Dark Truths Videos are always welcomed.
@@echo8474 i actually played it. I once (as an ewok) jumped from one of the suspended rope bridges to see if there was some sort of jump attack. Little did I know there was a stormtrooper passing by below. Care to guess what happened?
After killing so many Stormtroopers, the Ewoks are going to be well fed. Han: Lando old buddy great to see you made it. By the way don't eat the meat dishes. Lando: What kind of meat is it? Han: You don't want to know. Really!
He didn't say it was only his best troops. He probably had like one crack unit that were there specifically for the Rebel Strike team (which was made up of a couple dozen troops at most as they had to fit on a single Imperial Shuttle) not an Ewok Army. The regular garrison probably wasn't his best troops they might even have been the guys that barely passed training. That being said they should probably have the ones acting like clowns being Imperial Army instead of the (supposedly) elite Stormtrooper Corps.
Your over confidence is your downfall ....your faith in your friends is yours . Luke should have them replied your lack of faith of the ewoks is yours lol buuurrnnn
@@IceWolfLokiyou also need to remember his "best" troops and officers were the best at screwing over their cohorts for a ham sandwich and cheating on promotion exams. Not necessarily the best at actually being soldiers and officers. As Obi Wan says "everything's true from a 'certain point of view'"
Can you do a dark truths playlist on your channel, since I don't know if you've done these suggestions… Wookies and Lasat. Particularly the Wookies. Why were they so infective as a species in the Galaxy when they were so effective as individuals? They could've been a major power, considering their advantages, they could out compete most species, including Humans. Immense physical strength: which on a personal level means that Wookies get their way in social situations …"let the Wookie win". Try intimidating or bullying a Wookie, it would be like telling the Mountain to piss off out of your way. Unless you've got a actual army with you, they would just dominate casual social situations. And it means that any Wookie can get a job that requires strength (which is why they were used as slaves) as an entry level job, as a safety net (imagine a Wookie bouncer or crowd control bodyguard). Very adaptable: They can live in a wider range of environments than Humans, without _any_ protection. Chewie was naked on Hoth, Endor and Tatooine, that's a very wide temperature range. And he was also in a mud pit for ages when he first met Han, a Human in that situation would have Trench Foot and various diseases. Wookies should be able to colonize a lot of marginal Worlds that Humans and the other standard Galactic species ignore. Their very long lifespans: This is a biggy, they can become very experienced and proficient in a lot of skills, and in a professional organisation like a Corporation or Government they can move up the ladder just by seniority. A Wookie businessman could work his way up to the board in a Human lifespan easily. They knew secret hyperspace routes: They had a caste of Pathfinders that could discover unknown hyperspace routes, that was game changing information that they apparently didn't exploit. They could have set up secret colonies safe from all (like the Lasat did) and a Wookie owned and operated transport company could dominate their area by using secret routes. Their only real disadvantages were: Language, they couldn't speak standard - although a lot of Humans knew their language for some reason? But a simple technological fix for that was available with voders or similar items - a urbane sophisticated Wookie could have an implant that gave them instant translation into various common tongues. Their shear size could be a occasional disadvantage, particularly in cramped quarters - forget flying a Snubfighter _[Han Solo at Stars End_ discussing a Z-95 "fine…we can just build a cupola on top of the canopy and … can fly it with his knees"]. But imagine if Ewoks and Wookies united, and Ewoks could pilot (arboreal tree dwellers may make good pilots) Snubfighters, but any small species could fill that niche [side note, a very small technological species would be terrifying vehicle combatants if they had custom ships]. Furballs: And what about hygiene, do you want to sit in a chair after a Wookie has put it's naked ass on it? Wookies with multi pocket vest, a Translator implant or necklace, a pair of cargo shorts and a good automated grooming mini droid in a vest pocket should be able to make their way through the Galaxy and be a success, just on their natural advantages. And they can hide hold out weapons on themselves with ease. Small blasters hidden in fur for day to day living. And a standard E-11 carbine would be a pistol to them in more lawless regions. Baze's Minigun [Rogue One] would be a rifle with a bumbag if they ever expected trouble. A mercantile Wookie should be able to write their own ticket. So why did they (and the Lasat) have such little influence? Imagine if either species was on Earth, they'd run the joint.
How about: "The Light Truth About RANCORS You Probably Didn't Know" ? I merely bring this up because I have seen/read things maintaining the idea that rancors are, for the most part, actually passive and docile. I first appreciated this notion when I read, "Tales From Jabba's Palace: The Rancor Keeper." (I may have the chapter title incorrect, but I'm sure my meaning is understood.) It'd be pretty cool if you looked into that for a video. Speaking of which, nice video, here. It was fun to get the explanation of why the Ewoks had certain traps prepared that were eventually used to success on Imperial AT-ST's .
Never forget, the Ewoks had a full size human dress randomly in their village, a dress that fit Leia perfectly, meaning she clearly wasn’t the first one to wear it. And yes, the Ewok movies do show a human girl living and being raised by them in the movie, but it’s established that she didn’t stay on the moon long enough for that dress to have been able to fit her. So clearly there had been another human woman on Endor at some point, and they most likely killed and ate her, which is probably what they were going to do to Leia.
Remember, Luke and his friends look JUST LIKE the alien invaders the Ewoks were dealing with, and Chewbaka was guilty by association as often happens in these kinda conflicts. So they were executing evil alien invaders in honor of the second coming of the Golden One.
Used to love the Ewoks TV series when I was a kid. Both the live action and the animated versions. Watching them as an adult kinda ruined my childhood a bit. Like watching the A - Team and Dukes of Hazard it makes me realize just how desperate and starved we were for quality Science Fiction. Lol!
I thought for a second this was going to confirm the "The Ewoks eat sentients" joke as true. Think about it for a second. In RotJ, the Ewoks were ready to kill the main group for no real reason... unless they were hungry. They took them alive, and then were preparing to kill them... because that keeps the meat fresher. The Ewoks had a funeral pyre for someone, in spite of not knowing that person as anything other than an enemy... or was it a funeral? Maybe it was a barbecue.
I loved the Ewok Comic Strip I read years ago in Highschool. Those adorable bears where just dragging Stormtrooper's kicking and screaming into the darkness of those woods, never to be seen again!!!!
The dark truth videos are my absolute favourites on this channel. More please :-) I'm surprised the Ewoks didn't just eat those children in Caravan of Courage...
@@failure4452 exactly. When all of the storm troopers die and there is ulmost only ewoks and ur one of the last storm troopers its impossible to get on to the shuttle.
In legends I recall an Ewok that was used in one of Warlord Zsinj's experiments. He was given limb extensions and taught to fly a Tie. Irony was Wedge and Wraith Squadron had been using just such a character as a ruse.
What really happened to the Ewoks after Endor, in their battles with other sapient species on Endor? They suddenly had a lot of Imperial equipment they could apparently use (were they capable of being fully technological beings if raised in a high tech culture?). So did they wipe out their competitors/predators/rivals with blasters? Did they get any help from the Rebel Alliance? They had just saved the Rebellion, so having a few Y-Wings bomb those lizards (or just get them off world) would seem reasonable. And imagine if they got regular arms shipments (and the basic training on how to take care of and use them) from sympathisers, out of gratitude for their help? Could the Ewoks transition into a interstellar species straight away? Are there some Ewoks living offworld, as a regular 'civilized' alien race? Still primitive tribal humans in the same ecological situation would have hunted their rivals to extinction, if Earth history is anything to go by… But then we'd have probably burnt down the forest to flush out the mega fauna. Or sold cheap alcohol to the other sapients…
People occasionally go there, get stuck and die. Either from the planet itself or the Ewoks get them. It's in the ass end of nowhere, off of most hyperspace lanes, full of things that WILL kill you on sight has no accessible resources unavailable elsewhere except Ewok jerky and the nearest planet with tech too distant to contact if you're in trouble. People just don't go to Endor if they can help it
Then there's also that alternative history comic, called Legends where the Ewoks are cannibals and attacked both the Imperials and the Rebels during the Battle of Endor.
I'd like to see some more ewok action, it would be great to see the mandalorian spend and episode on endors moon tripping out on their drugs and seeing their forest gods. Going into battle with them etc.
I’m kinda numb to the whole small cute creatures having a dark side by now, wether it be the Jawas, Grunts from halo or the Gremlins from, well Gremlins, it seems like we can’t have one cute race without them secretly wanting to sell your kidneys to the black market when your not looking. The chadra-fan are still precious tho
I remember the manual for one of the Space Quest (Sierra) games had an interview with an imperial storm trooper who said something along the lines of "Oh god, I think they ate Larry!!!"
@@dawnseeker176 Given that 'Return of the Jedi' portrays the Ewoks as cannibals - yes, cannibals - they may possibly survive a small period of time by eating a few captured imperials and then starting on each other until they're down to the last Ewok, surrounded by the bones of its comrades and the charred remains of its home world, so yeah the ewoks are cannibals.
So they're basically space vietnamese, surviving against all odds and kicking the butt of tecnological superior invaders. You gotta respect those guys.
I don't think their history is particularly dark, I'm glad there's backstory for how the ewoks developed through the challenges of the forest moon, having to overcome foes larger than themselves and becoming skilled warriors in the process, that helps reduce their plot armor, we can see in the film how they help hans team by giving them another way into the shield bunker and by leading some of the scouts away from the entrance, we just don't see it as much because they look cute, but they're using tactics to reduce the empires advantage over them, soo I wouldn't say they're dark, they're just a species coming into their own in the galaxy by overcoming challenges through conflict, is our species sooo different
In a star wars table top RPG I once played an ewok sith named Darth Furry. Other players laughed at the name until they realized that the name was intentionally cute to obfuscate the savagery of the characters nature.
Ewoks: *uses poison, spike pits, and other weapons that would normally be banned in times of war according to Republic law, in addition to slaughtering people who had clearly surrendered.* Stormtrooper: "Hey, New Republic! Those Ewoks were committing war crimes!" New Republic: "What are you talking about? They were helping us win a war, therefore it can't be a crime!"
I love how 90% lore comes from the "E E EEeeeEwoks and their living on their forest moon..." But no mention of Logray and Morag... But at least he mentioned the duloks. I'll bet no travelling Jiiiiindaaaaaaahs made the cut though...
When I was a kid I couldn’t handle the battle scenes when they were getting killed. I also didn’t quite understand they were vicious savages that would burn people alive and then eat them.
Well, that was enlightening. When I went to see Return of the Jedi on it's release I was worried Ewoks were going to spoil the series. They didn't, but I walked out of that cinema cursing the inclusion of the little buggers. Now I've seen your history of Ewoks I understand them a lot better. I still hate the little bastards though.
lmao this is great, because when i played a tabletop starwars rpg, i made a dark side ewok and was possibly the most fun i have ever had playing a table top rpg.
NOT PAGAN. Dark rituals do not mean paganism, and spirituality/belief systems do not equal paganism. Geetsly's, your videos are great, but what would be even better is not getting damaging facts like this wrong. Cheers. ** I really appreciate Geetsly's contributions in putting out interesting Star Wars content, though I feel accuracy in information & facts should come before entertainment.
I've always said that the empire underestimated Ewoks at their peril. They were not technologically advanced. But on the forest moon of Endor they definately knew the territory and had the numerical advantage. This battle faintly reminds me of the trade Federation vs the Gungans. Or in the real world Custer's army vs the Native Americans.
What if Ewoks made their way into the Galaxy after ROTJ? If they could learn to be pilots they would be scary, since they were small, so they could fit in Snubfighters saving weight and space for extra components since they were half the size of a human. And they were arboreal tree dwellers, which meant better balance and maybe better piloting instincts. They seemed to get the hang of imperial gear straight away - from speeder bikes to Walkers (with Chewie's help).
Dark history and a dangerous people, I dont care. I'll always cry everytime I watch that Ewok hugging his friend who was shoot during the battle of Endor....
Ewoks are terrifying... discord.gg/geetslys
Yeap, it seems that Chuck Norris went to a build-a-bear workshop.
your mod one discord are toxic
Gen tech would be proud
so... THATS why Generation Tech kept going on about Ewok meat and furs
@@corrat4866 xD yup. Allen has been saying this for years!
People watching the movies: "OMG ewoks are so cute!"
Me as a stormtrooper in ewok hunt of battlefront 2: "THE TREES! THEY ARE IN THE TREES!"
You had Vietnam flashbacks while writing didn't you?
@@maysmith5893 *fortunate son plays in background*
“Yo did you hear the tree just say, ‘Yub Nub’?”
Palpatine should have hired me. I hunt Ewoks for sport. And they taste best medium rare.🙂
I never win as stormtrooper at ewok hunt but it fun when you begin as ewok itself....the terror of stormtrooper...I can smell it
Retired Stormtrooper's Wife: "Look, darling, i got our little baby boy a teddy bear."
Retired Stormtrooper: *starts screaming and babbling incoherently*
They are in the trees! Get the napalm grenades!
@@brok56 Run through the Jungle starts playing.
Relax. It's dead and stuff.
After the war when I see a teddy bear I get flashbacks and I call 911 death star police
When the trees start speaking Ewok
Stormtrooper: “they weren’t anything close to cute,. They slaughtered us like animals”
Anakin’s Force ghost: “was it just the men or the women and children too?”
Dark but severely underrated comment!
Then they were eaten
Lol kinda
Bravo
In a star wars 5e game I played as an ex-stormtrooper with severe ewok ptsd
Remember everyone in some alternate universe Darth Jar Jar and his ewok inquisitors are canon
Forcer? In a star wars video?!
I would love to see that lol
He is the true lord of the sith not sheev he is weak compared to jar jar
how did you know of my existance?!
@@genericidiot4810 indeed, yet you yourself have yet to eperiance his true power, he will bend systems to his will, he will choke out an entire room from across the galaxy without loosing eye contact and that stare... that stare is the most terrifying thing ever known to sentiant life...
"Experience outranks everything"-Captain Rex
I’m guessing he got that from ewok hunt
He probably did frank
It doesn’t matter once you’ve been killed by a TEDDY BEAR crushing your skull in
Ä I have no idea how to pronounce that I just toyed äround
High DEF Gaming what does that mean
When I played Empire at War my entire army got overrun on Endor and afterwards I developed a deep hatred of of the Ewoks.
xD
Yeah the first time I landed I got obliterated, so from then on I only ever used the Death Star when dealing with it
zrek The worst thing is that I had Palpatine in my army and when he died I lost the war.
On thrawns revenge those buggers nearly overran me too
General Grievous I was playing the normal game when it happened. How bad are they on Thrawns revenge?
They're called murder bears for a reason.
Chuck Norris at a build-a-bear workshop.
Well murder is when a human kills a human soooo not murders but ummm hunters
Words have their meanings updated to reflect the society they are being used in all the time. I see no reason to think that they would keep such an archaic and singular view of the word murder in a civilization that has grown to include so many different high thinking individuals. That being said I still don't think Murder Bear is a good name because it implies that you killed for no reason at all or for a reason that didn't warrant that level of a reaction. Most of the examples were just them defending themselves. They didn't appear to be the antagonist and only responded with violence after suffering harm and in order to protect themselves. Since murder means the killing was illegal then I don't feel it applies because this would be considered self defense, not murder. They literally had other species showing up to their planet just to turn them into jerky.. I didn't see a single thing that made me think their "Dark" past is an "Evil" one. Maybe "Retaliatory Justice Bears" but that really doesn't sound as good as "Murder Bears"
Not just murder bears, blood cult pagans who sacrifice victims to forest gods while tripping heavy balls. This just made Ewoks way cooler
@@JamieDWestII you have a good point. If we ever come across other sentient species or have other species here on earth gain sentience whether naturally or otherwise, our concept of what constitutes murder will necessarily evolve.
Me pre Ewok hunt: you are so small. It’s funny to me
Me post Ewok hunt: I have been shown who is the boss
Yup nup!
Ewoks are basically feral Care Bears
Don’t get me started on the Care Bears. Those savage bastards love to kidnap children.
Carve bears?
5.4.3.2.1. If you old enuff you get it.
Soy bears.
Anyone remember the Monchichi?s
I remember reading a comic about the battle of Endor from the view of an Imperial veteran in the famous Mos Eisley cantina. It's been a while so this might not be accurate but the quote generally went as follows:
"We had a trooper. He finally let the whispers get to him. He went charging out of the camp, blaster firing everywhere. What he forgot to account for was eventually you run out of ammo.
We found him in the morning. Those things... They did things to him."
Cut to a panel showing a stormtrooper helmet on a spike, facing the Imperial camp, with the head still inside.
I respect the Ewoks, not everyone can survive in a moon as savage as Endor, and against so many predators and enemies
Some of the Legend material also had it as a Mandalorian base.
Ewoks are vicious tribal predators that would be at home in the Jungles of Catachan.
Because nothing says "cute" like a teddy bear higher than a kite wielding rudimentary weapons that want to eat you.
George creating ewoks : get a teddy bear, put it a nice hat, make them live in a jungle
team : ok
George : make them to to kill humans
Genius!
Rumor has it they were originally scripted to be wookies, but Lucas later decided to make them something more marketable to children.
Guess he never removed their savagery, though
@@arthurdhermy4946 ahhahahhaha
@@arthurdhermy4946 I thought it was cos they couldn't afford the bigger costumes
Just happened to be humans
Their "Golden God" asked them to help the rebels that included humans as well 😏
What is "Scary" is them being indifferent to a ally Human like Leah vs humans caught in the meat traps.......its just comes down to how you've intracted with them
The fact that they’re murderous teddy bears.
Chuck Norris went to a build-a-bear workshop.
Awesome profile pick!
wait so the legendary Darth Revan is afraid of some small teddy bears? here i have one right here, whos a good boy? oh gimme a kis- AHHH ASDHSD AHH AGHHH GET IT OFFFF AHGHGHGGHGHGG...
Engie Man OH GOD WHAT IS TH-
@@Engieman909 Ah! I see you've met my good friend Chester. He ain't too fond of imperials.
I'd be down for an R rated spinoff Ewok trilogy that follows the story arc of their species. Too bad Disney won't go for it.
"Imagine if Return of the Jedi wasn't PG"
There could be an entire horror movie based on the Ewoks, perhaps from the Stormtroopers point of view.
Try BF2 Ewok Hunt
@JBear Antonicic when you hear the hunting horn
Ohhh I digg!!!
@@failure4452 OH GOD
Yub Nyub!
I will never be able to look at an Ewok and think that there cute and cuddly furballs ever again but I have to say I would have loved to see a non-pg version of the Battle of Endor just for the Ewok Brutality. Also the Dark Truths Videos are always welcomed.
That would be cool
I can still say they are cute and cuddly
The only truth I know is that they taste good and you should not underestimate these murderous teddy bears.
Battlefront 2 Ewok Hunt made us learn
@@geetslys I saw a few videos of that. That would be pretty scary. Also do like my reference. One of the best characters.
thats why ewok farmers are trying to domesticate ewoks
@@echo8474 i actually played it. I once (as an ewok) jumped from one of the suspended rope bridges to see if there was some sort of jump attack. Little did I know there was a stormtrooper passing by below. Care to guess what happened?
@@leviosdraekion6993 to quote ollie williams, he ded
After killing so many Stormtroopers, the Ewoks are going to be well fed.
Han: Lando old buddy great to see you made it. By the way don't eat the meat dishes.
Lando: What kind of meat is it?
Han: You don't want to know. Really!
"The memories of endor still haunt me"
Stormtrooper
The end battle kind of bugs me because Palpatine said some of his best troops are on Endor but they act like clowns.
He didn't say it was only his best troops. He probably had like one crack unit that were there specifically for the Rebel Strike team (which was made up of a couple dozen troops at most as they had to fit on a single Imperial Shuttle) not an Ewok Army. The regular garrison probably wasn't his best troops they might even have been the guys that barely passed training. That being said they should probably have the ones acting like clowns being Imperial Army instead of the (supposedly) elite Stormtrooper Corps.
Should have sent in Vader's Fist instead.
Your over confidence is your downfall ....your faith in your friends is yours . Luke should have them replied your lack of faith of the ewoks is yours lol buuurrnnn
@@IceWolfLokiyou also need to remember his "best" troops and officers were the best at screwing over their cohorts for a ham sandwich and cheating on promotion exams.
Not necessarily the best at actually being soldiers and officers.
As Obi Wan says "everything's true from a 'certain point of view'"
Ewoks are sometimes called ‘mini Wookiees’ due to how strong they are. I mean, the big logs the Ewoks often use frequently weigh more than they do.
Can you do a dark truths playlist on your channel, since I don't know if you've done these suggestions…
Wookies and Lasat.
Particularly the Wookies.
Why were they so infective as a species in the Galaxy when they were so effective as individuals?
They could've been a major power, considering their advantages, they could out compete most species, including Humans.
Immense physical strength: which on a personal level means that Wookies get their way in social situations …"let the Wookie win".
Try intimidating or bullying a Wookie, it would be like telling the Mountain to piss off out of your way. Unless you've got a actual army with you, they would just dominate casual social situations.
And it means that any Wookie can get a job that requires strength (which is why they were used as slaves) as an entry level job, as a safety net (imagine a Wookie bouncer or crowd control bodyguard).
Very adaptable: They can live in a wider range of environments than Humans, without _any_ protection. Chewie was naked on Hoth, Endor and Tatooine, that's a very wide temperature range.
And he was also in a mud pit for ages when he first met Han, a Human in that situation would have Trench Foot and various diseases. Wookies should be able to colonize a lot of marginal Worlds that Humans and the other standard Galactic species ignore.
Their very long lifespans: This is a biggy, they can become very experienced and proficient in a lot of skills, and in a professional organisation like a Corporation or Government they can move up the ladder just by seniority.
A Wookie businessman could work his way up to the board in a Human lifespan easily.
They knew secret hyperspace routes: They had a caste of Pathfinders that could discover unknown hyperspace routes, that was game changing information that they apparently didn't exploit.
They could have set up secret colonies safe from all (like the Lasat did) and a Wookie owned and operated transport company could dominate their area by using secret routes.
Their only real disadvantages were:
Language, they couldn't speak standard - although a lot of Humans knew their language for some reason?
But a simple technological fix for that was available with voders or similar items - a urbane sophisticated Wookie could have an implant that gave them instant translation into various common tongues.
Their shear size could be a occasional disadvantage, particularly in cramped quarters - forget flying a Snubfighter _[Han Solo at Stars End_ discussing a Z-95 "fine…we can just build a cupola on top of the canopy and … can fly it with his knees"].
But imagine if Ewoks and Wookies united, and Ewoks could pilot (arboreal tree dwellers may make good pilots) Snubfighters, but any small species could fill that niche [side note, a very small technological species would be terrifying vehicle combatants if they had custom ships].
Furballs: And what about hygiene, do you want to sit in a chair after a Wookie has put it's naked ass on it?
Wookies with multi pocket vest, a Translator implant or necklace, a pair of cargo shorts and a good automated grooming mini droid in a vest pocket should be able to make their way through the Galaxy and be a success, just on their natural advantages.
And they can hide hold out weapons on themselves with ease. Small blasters hidden in fur for day to day living. And a standard E-11 carbine would be a pistol to them in more lawless regions. Baze's Minigun [Rogue One] would be a rifle with a bumbag if they ever expected trouble.
A mercantile Wookie should be able to write their own ticket.
So why did they (and the Lasat) have such little influence?
Imagine if either species was on Earth, they'd run the joint.
Imagine if the ewoks just killed Leia, Luke, and the rest of them on endor and the movie ended 😂
The sequels would never happen I still wish the sequel trilogy never happened.
They almost did, remember they were gonna roast up Han if C3PO wasn’t a literal golden boy.
Written and Directed by
*GEORGE LUCAS*
Then the galaxy would be doomed by either the Ssi-ruuvi, Thrawn, the Reborn Palpatine, the Duskhan League, Thrackan Sal-Solo, or the Yuuzhan Vong.
@@abramsullivan7764 send in the teddy bears then
How about: "The Light Truth About RANCORS You Probably Didn't Know" ? I merely bring this up because I have seen/read things maintaining the idea that rancors are, for the most part, actually passive and docile. I first appreciated this notion when I read, "Tales From Jabba's Palace: The Rancor Keeper." (I may have the chapter title incorrect, but I'm sure my meaning is understood.) It'd be pretty cool if you looked into that for a video. Speaking of which, nice video, here. It was fun to get the explanation of why the Ewoks had certain traps prepared that were eventually used to success on Imperial AT-ST's .
The rancor keeper tale is what I wanted the book of boba fett to be
I never get tired of those beeps and boops from your loading screen intro Geetslys. It brings me back to the prime days of Battlefront's existence.
Never forget, the Ewoks had a full size human dress randomly in their village, a dress that fit Leia perfectly, meaning she clearly wasn’t the first one to wear it. And yes, the Ewok movies do show a human girl living and being raised by them in the movie, but it’s established that she didn’t stay on the moon long enough for that dress to have been able to fit her. So clearly there had been another human woman on Endor at some point, and they most likely killed and ate her, which is probably what they were going to do to Leia.
So generation tech is right ewoks are delicious
Remember, Luke and his friends look JUST LIKE the alien invaders the Ewoks were dealing with, and Chewbaka was guilty by association as often happens in these kinda conflicts. So they were executing evil alien invaders in honor of the second coming of the Golden One.
Ewok Hunt has forever made me terrified of Ewoks. Purge those sick filth. Up with the Empire!
Playing that in a pitch black setting is a must 😂
Exerminatus
Never thought hearing a care bear rip off screaming *AHHWEEEE* could be as terrifying as it was
Rusher Ranker7 when u hear the horn
I did not expect Ewok Hunt to be a survival horror game. I guess this video explains why
I didn't think the Ewoks were just cute teddy bears when watching the movie. They were planning on killing Han, Chewie and Luke after all.
The world's scariest thing-
This videos thumbnail
Darth Nik nook
Used to love the Ewoks TV series when I was a kid. Both the live action and the animated versions. Watching them as an adult kinda ruined my childhood a bit. Like watching the A - Team and Dukes of Hazard it makes me realize just how desperate and starved we were for quality Science Fiction. Lol!
Damn ewoks, it scary just imagining being a stormtrooper survivor on endor after the battle
Try BF2 Ewok hunt
Imagine being a rebel after the battle of Endor and an Ewok forces you to take some LSD and sacrifice a storm trooper to their god
What s this... " *_forces_* you to take LSD" thing?
@@EvilFookaire did you miss the part in the video about the drug fueled rituals
@@forrestdisney2698 the joke was they voluntarily took the LSD, hence bolding "forces"
I thought for a second this was going to confirm the "The Ewoks eat sentients" joke as true.
Think about it for a second.
In RotJ, the Ewoks were ready to kill the main group for no real reason... unless they were hungry.
They took them alive, and then were preparing to kill them... because that keeps the meat fresher.
The Ewoks had a funeral pyre for someone, in spite of not knowing that person as anything other than an enemy... or was it a funeral? Maybe it was a barbecue.
I loved the Ewok Comic Strip I read years ago in Highschool. Those adorable bears where just dragging Stormtrooper's kicking and screaming into the darkness of those woods, never to be seen again!!!!
The dark truth videos are my absolute favourites on this channel. More please :-)
I'm surprised the Ewoks didn't just eat those children in Caravan of Courage...
Who says they didn't after the film ended?
Everyone's great until the opposing team summons a Primeval Ewok.
Once it dies, they win this...
Oh also the portal is up, go make a mess will ya?
Is this a gambit reference?
They were modelled off the Australian Drop Bears.
If anyone has played the ewok star wars battle front two game mode then you know that they are terrifying
oh yeah, that level was hard...
Ewok Hunt is essentially a survival horror game
@@failure4452 exactly. When all of the storm troopers die and there is ulmost only ewoks and ur one of the last storm troopers its impossible to get on to the shuttle.
@Think Like A Sponge ikr
that was why palpatine has the DS 2 built there palpatine knew how big a threat the ewoks were and had to destroy Endor ASAP!
I remember having nightmares about the Ewoks. They chased after me, and put me over an open fire.
Wait Fr? 🤣
2020 can't get any worse
- me, escapes into Star Wars: saw killing teddy bears.
"Yeah well corona doesn't sound that bad"
Moritz Wysotzki At least corona doesn’t beat you half to death and burn you alive.
Corona doesn't really exist, but you'll never be sure, if there isn't an ewok hiding in the tree watching you...
In legends I recall an Ewok that was used in one of Warlord Zsinj's experiments. He was given limb extensions and taught to fly a Tie. Irony was Wedge and Wraith Squadron had been using just such a character as a ruse.
Yub yub, commander
What really happened to the Ewoks after Endor, in their battles with other sapient species on Endor?
They suddenly had a lot of Imperial equipment they could apparently use (were they capable of being fully technological beings if raised in a high tech culture?). So did they wipe out their competitors/predators/rivals with blasters?
Did they get any help from the Rebel Alliance? They had just saved the Rebellion, so having a few Y-Wings bomb those lizards (or just get them off world) would seem reasonable.
And imagine if they got regular arms shipments (and the basic training on how to take care of and use them) from sympathisers, out of gratitude for their help?
Could the Ewoks transition into a interstellar species straight away?
Are there some Ewoks living offworld, as a regular 'civilized' alien race?
Still primitive tribal humans in the same ecological situation would have hunted their rivals to extinction, if Earth history is anything to go by…
But then we'd have probably burnt down the forest to flush out the mega fauna.
Or sold cheap alcohol to the other sapients…
People occasionally go there, get stuck and die. Either from the planet itself or the Ewoks get them.
It's in the ass end of nowhere, off of most hyperspace lanes, full of things that WILL kill you on sight has no accessible resources unavailable elsewhere except Ewok jerky and the nearest planet with tech too distant to contact if you're in trouble.
People just don't go to Endor if they can help it
Stormtroopers on Endor: HELP!!!
Dark Apprentice Starkiller: *Starts punting Ewoks into the atmosphere*
Then there's also that alternative history comic, called Legends where the Ewoks are cannibals and attacked both the Imperials and the Rebels during the Battle of Endor.
This dark truth makes me respect these fur balls even more! I'd rather have an Ewok on my side then against me if they are tough and battle hardened.
I'd like to see some more ewok action, it would be great to see the mandalorian spend and episode on endors moon tripping out on their drugs and seeing their forest gods. Going into battle with them etc.
Loving these "Dark Truth" videos!! Keep em' coming...
I’m kinda numb to the whole small cute creatures having a dark side by now, wether it be the Jawas, Grunts from halo or the Gremlins from, well Gremlins, it seems like we can’t have one cute race without them secretly wanting to sell your kidneys to the black market when your not looking.
The chadra-fan are still precious tho
Anything that survives in the wilds has a savage side. It should be expected.
It's not even just the small ones, look at Wookies
These things are like Kuribo. Everyone laughs until Yugi plays mutiply
I think if Return of the Jedi would have been cooler if they had shown the Ewaks being that bad ass.
My favorite childhood memory of Star Wars was watching a video collection of the Ewoks animated series.
bruh it's like 4 in the morning over here can you chill with these lore...
I remember the manual for one of the Space Quest (Sierra) games had an interview with an imperial storm trooper who said something along the lines of "Oh god, I think they ate Larry!!!"
You truly know how terrifying Ewoks are if you’ve played Ewok Hunt in Battlefront 2
thank you historian, for recording ewok culture in a way in wich it may be preserved eternally
Ewoks are also able to use laser turrets inside of the Ghost
I heard they taste pretty good.
They became cannibals that loved to eat strom troopers.
It's not cannibalism when it's another spicies
It’s not cannibalism if it’s served next to the mashed potatoes!
Yub yum! Luke Han and Chewie were going to be the main course in a banquet in honor of the Golden One.
cannibalism is the act of eating your own species meaning: ewok eats ewok = cannibal
Ewok eats stormtrooper = not cannibal
@@dawnseeker176 Given that 'Return of the Jedi' portrays the Ewoks as cannibals - yes, cannibals - they may possibly survive a small period of time by eating a few captured imperials and then starting on each other until they're down to the last Ewok, surrounded by the bones of its comrades and the charred remains of its home world, so yeah the ewoks are cannibals.
Everybody gangsta until the teddy bears turn psychotic...
Pretty slick
When I was young I *hated* the ewoks. They scared me but, I don't know why.....
So they're basically space vietnamese, surviving against all odds and kicking the butt of tecnological superior invaders. You gotta respect those guys.
I would have said space maori, but i guess you are right...
I don't think their history is particularly dark, I'm glad there's backstory for how the ewoks developed through the challenges of the forest moon, having to overcome foes larger than themselves and becoming skilled warriors in the process, that helps reduce their plot armor, we can see in the film how they help hans team by giving them another way into the shield bunker and by leading some of the scouts away from the entrance, we just don't see it as much because they look cute, but they're using tactics to reduce the empires advantage over them, soo I wouldn't say they're dark, they're just a species coming into their own in the galaxy by overcoming challenges through conflict, is our species sooo different
I want DARTH WICKET
Fancy seeing you here Nour
@@jacobross9798 Holy shit! What are the odds? I’m always on this channel
In a star wars table top RPG I once played an ewok sith named Darth Furry. Other players laughed at the name until they realized that the name was intentionally cute to obfuscate the savagery of the characters nature.
Ewoks: *uses poison, spike pits, and other weapons that would normally be banned in times of war according to Republic law, in addition to slaughtering people who had clearly surrendered.*
Stormtrooper: "Hey, New Republic! Those Ewoks were committing war crimes!"
New Republic: "What are you talking about? They were helping us win a war, therefore it can't be a crime!"
I love how 90% lore comes from the "E E EEeeeEwoks and their living on their forest moon..." But no mention of Logray and Morag... But at least he mentioned the duloks. I'll bet no travelling Jiiiiindaaaaaaahs made the cut though...
Hi geestly hows your day
good, hows yours?
Geetsly's good I miss the clone wars episode every Friday
When I was a kid I couldn’t handle the battle scenes when they were getting killed. I also didn’t quite understand they were vicious savages that would burn people alive and then eat them.
Teddy Roosevelt created a monster, should’ve shot that bear...
Well, that was enlightening. When I went to see Return of the Jedi on it's release I was worried Ewoks were going to spoil the series. They didn't, but I walked out of that cinema cursing the inclusion of the little buggers. Now I've seen your history of Ewoks I understand them a lot better. I still hate the little bastards though.
They were going to cook luke han and chewy alive then eat them.
lmao this is great, because when i played a tabletop starwars rpg, i made a dark side ewok and was possibly the most fun i have ever had playing a table top rpg.
Generation tech would approve
very very cool and interesting series man keep up the awesome work& research!
I want a pre JEDI era Ewoks anime and for it to establish the Ewoke mythos and life to us, the audience.
I would be very happy to finally see so Star Wars movie without pg restrictions
Hello There
General Grievous General Kenobi!
General Grievous General Kenobi..
general Kenobi
Thank you! Anything ewok is always a must watch
NOT PAGAN. Dark rituals do not mean paganism, and spirituality/belief systems do not equal paganism.
Geetsly's, your videos are great, but what would be even better is not getting damaging facts like this wrong. Cheers.
** I really appreciate Geetsly's contributions in putting out interesting Star Wars content, though I feel accuracy in information & facts should come before entertainment.
I totally agree!
And the way he spit the word Pagan out in disgust really struck hard too imo.
I've always said that the empire underestimated Ewoks at their peril. They were not technologically advanced. But on the forest moon of Endor they definately knew the territory and had the numerical advantage. This battle faintly reminds me of the trade Federation vs the Gungans. Or in the real world Custer's army vs the Native Americans.
we love commander fox
@Evan O really
commander fox did nothing wrong
Fox sucks
Underestimating your enemy is a deadly weakness but trusting your ally is a great strength.
The empire learned this the hard way.
FIRSTTTTT
No one cares
Who asked?
@@callmesam1125 because it's dumb to say first, theres no point. Besides you weren't even first
@@geetslys we love commander fox
@@callmesam1125 bro even Geetslys has my back 😂
George lukas: creating innocent teddy bears, acted by children, to give some fun to star wars.
Geestly's 40 years later: "Well yes, but actually no"
Great info, thanks!
What if Ewoks made their way into the Galaxy after ROTJ? If they could learn to be pilots they would be scary, since they were small, so they could fit in Snubfighters saving weight and space for extra components since they were half the size of a human.
And they were arboreal tree dwellers, which meant better balance and maybe better piloting instincts.
They seemed to get the hang of imperial gear straight away - from speeder bikes to Walkers (with Chewie's help).
I already know from ewok hunt. The memories still haunt me today...
Are you the senate?
The first Ewok movie is my favorite SW movie. I like it even more than Empire. I have a life size wooden Wicket that was carved with a chain saw.
When stormtroopers get slaughtered to the point THEY start talking about warcrimes, it explains the deadliness of the Ewoks
Sure they have a dark history but their emote in Battlefront 2 (2017) is still adorable
You forgot to mention the psychological warfare the Ewoks used on the stormtroopers.
They probably ate some of the stormtroopers too. Wait didn't the original song the Ewoks sang at the end of ROTJ start out with "YUM YUM..."?
Dark history and a dangerous people, I dont care.
I'll always cry everytime I watch that Ewok hugging his friend who was shoot during the battle of Endor....
Next to my polar bear rug and baby seal sofa pillows, I have an Ewok pelt footstool...is that wrong??
You haven't lived till you eat Ewok.
Drug-smoking bloodthirsty pagan space teddybears...
*Spirit animal: *A Q U I R E D**
Every stormtrooper's a gangster until the trees start singing Yubnub