Dr. Phil - Psychopath vs Malignant Narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 15 лис 2021
  • “If you ever start defending yourself with a narcissist, you will never ever stop,” says Dr. Phil in part 4 of the "Toxic Personalities in the Real World” Phil in the Blanks podcast series. “They simply can't be confronted. That's why you can't win an argument with them. They are relentless. They will argue until the end of the Earth.” For the second week, Dr. Phil is examining traits particular to the malignant narcissist, who he says “is the most dangerous narcissist of all!” Learn why it’s vital to get away from a malignant narcissist just as quickly as you can safely do so. And, find out the one big characteristic that Dr. Phil says differentiates the narcissist and the malignant narcissist from the psychopath. Plus, what is a communal narcissist, and why does Dr. Phil say they may be the least dangerous of all?
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @HB-gy8cb
    @HB-gy8cb 2 роки тому +756

    I divorced a narcissist. He told me that he would break me emotionally and financially and that he wouldn't stop punishing me until I was a shell of a person and on my knees begging him to stop. You can't imagine a worse feeling than your kids being made to suffer because that is the way to hurt you the most. When you push a narcissist too far, you will quickly learn that you are dealing with the devil.

    • @karenk2409
      @karenk2409 Рік тому +62

      My heart goes out to you, HB 😢😢😢 My ex told me "If you leave I will destroy you!" while demeaning and abusing me in every way possible every day, and like you was one day on my knees. He knew what was most important to me: I lost my grown kids and grandkids because of his slander, but I'm living in peace and a good life today. These are terribly disturbed people.

    • @michaelatkin9649
      @michaelatkin9649 Рік тому +29

      Baby momma said the same kinda thing. Told me if I didn't get back with her she'd do everything thing she's done. She's a woman so all her lies are believed over a man

    • @shynn5827
      @shynn5827 Рік тому +18

      I feel like giving you a hug... even though I don't know you...

    • @alaskamom2011
      @alaskamom2011 Рік тому +27

      SO TRUE.. happened to me with my X. He wanted to destroy me and used my kids as his shield. SICK SOB!

    • @ebonyharris5412
      @ebonyharris5412 Рік тому +12

      Im sorry you went through that.. I am ready to fight him for you! I’m missing 4 bottom teeth because he hit me in the mouth with a glass bottle, a healed fracture in my lower front mandible, and a healed fractured right eye socket after he sliced my finger open when I tried to fight him off from wrapping a belt around my neck and my finger was messed up by the buckle and I bled everywhere😢

  • @browngirl1958
    @browngirl1958 2 роки тому +812

    A narcissistic is a salesman without a product.

  • @KoolT
    @KoolT 2 роки тому +700

    Even if you care, you can't fix them. Run.

    • @1010QUEEN7
      @1010QUEEN7 2 роки тому +38

      And remember run fast

    • @leeboriack8054
      @leeboriack8054 2 роки тому +25

      A sad reality.

    • @lisyclare
      @lisyclare 2 роки тому +1

      They need an exorcism. I am not joking. Say a Hail Mary around them and they can’t stand it. They have an aversion to holy objects. Just test it.

    • @lisyclare
      @lisyclare 2 роки тому +1

      Take them to an exorcist and do not tell them, I promise you it is demonic possession. They can’t stand the Hail Mary prayer, crucifixes or rosary beads.

    • @fdog4533
      @fdog4533 Рік тому +17

      I just HATE when they RUB OFF their energy on me, as if I'm RESPONSIBLE for their PROBLEMS! That BULLSHIT is UNACCEPTABLE!

  • @alastairwest5200
    @alastairwest5200 Рік тому +186

    They cannot or will not self-reflect - this is what makes them dangerous. The problem is ALWAYS someone else; there is no check on their behaviour...

    • @connie7125
      @connie7125 2 місяці тому +6

      100% true

    • @bonitahamilton5762
      @bonitahamilton5762 2 місяці тому +4

      Jail with a side of 10 years probation helped mine! 👹 Heaven help whoever gets him after the 10 years but IT.WONT.BE.ME!!

    • @uncleanis45
      @uncleanis45 2 місяці тому +1

      So like the modern woman 😂

    • @whipzter2
      @whipzter2 Місяць тому +1

      This comment!

    • @miker4430
      @miker4430 26 днів тому

      Psychopaths have no fear and enjoy torturing people including their own children. Deeply disturbed individuals.

  • @bobbilancaster7184
    @bobbilancaster7184 2 роки тому +149

    They get turned on by creating fear.

    • @user-zp4lf3lv6x
      @user-zp4lf3lv6x 2 місяці тому +2

      They scare me im afraid of what I'm CAPABLE OF OR I MIGHT DO 2 SAVE MYSELF IN THE HEAT OF A MY LIFE OR THERE LIFE SITUATION ADRENALINE DONT CARE

    • @constancedenchy9801
      @constancedenchy9801 2 місяці тому +1

      YES!!!

    • @connie7125
      @connie7125 2 місяці тому +12

      They get a kick out of causing emotional pain

    • @fortyoz.4350
      @fortyoz.4350 2 місяці тому +1

      Completely true

    • @paulad.4578
      @paulad.4578 Місяць тому +1

      Just the idea of that makes me 🤮.

  • @stefaniadiamondcut
    @stefaniadiamondcut Рік тому +64

    When covert narcissists get called out they tend to lash out, sometimes at friends...don't pay them any mind. The louder they get the easier they become to SEE

    • @zinnia3684
      @zinnia3684 2 місяці тому +5

      Just get away from them. Tell them you forgive them and you’ll pray for them. That shirts them up. Stay away and pray

  • @barbaraadams8219
    @barbaraadams8219 2 роки тому +117

    Hey my narc said , "I am sorry." Followed by, "I am not really sorry, but I want this discussion to be done,". He was ruthless. Run, run, run

    • @direstraights
      @direstraights 2 місяці тому

      Omg yes .. another one is " Drop it"

    • @keepers...
      @keepers... 2 місяці тому

      YOUR narc? Hahaha

    • @cindyares5234
      @cindyares5234 15 днів тому

      The " O im sorry " in very sarcastic tone, always flipped my trigger.

  • @whatsdoin2392
    @whatsdoin2392 11 місяців тому +91

    Many psychopaths and malignant narcissists exist in your life but may never target you. What Dr. Phil needs to discuss is how to know you are a target - that is the key to being safe.

  • @Rose-ez2fm
    @Rose-ez2fm 2 роки тому +303

    Dr. Phil, this video got me crying. My estranged husband is a convicted murder, kidnapper and escapee. Currently, he is out on parole and out to get me. We have a pending divorce of 4 years now, domestic violence assaults' and I am just trapped. I am praying day and night for my safety and deliverance and freedom. Thank you for this video. It explains a lot. 🙏✊

    • @dnk4559
      @dnk4559 2 роки тому +19

      🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

    • @stacelock8081
      @stacelock8081 2 роки тому +46

      So sorry to hear your situation. What a total nightmare. I hope you have some support around you!? Get yourself out of the area if possible. Start fresh, change your name and move on. Don't look back!

    • @Rose-ez2fm
      @Rose-ez2fm 2 роки тому +43

      @@stacelock8081 I under an order of protection in Tennessee and a restraining order in Florida even though they are statewide, Florida is holding him accountable. I am going back to my maiden name. However, I am in the pipeline for starting a national organization against domestic violence and can not let him take my power from me. I am a heavyweight advocate for all gun rights. Thanks Stace

    • @stacelock8081
      @stacelock8081 2 роки тому +15

      @@Rose-ez2fm I'm grateful to hear your strength is still solid. Welldone!!
      Very inspiring you are becoming a voice for others. I would love to know more about it. Fantastic:)
      To shine the brightest we can is our best weapon against any evil x

    • @Rose-ez2fm
      @Rose-ez2fm 2 роки тому +6

      @@dnk4559 Thank you! Blessings

  • @colleen6050
    @colleen6050 2 роки тому +44

    Malignant narcissists are bullies. They love to demean and dominate at all costs. They are also very childlike in the sense that they do childish things to F*@k with you. My ex used to walk behind me and step on the back of my foot/shoe and cause a 'flat tire'. He constantly did this and then would say, "Hurry up, you walk too slow". He also found it funny to demean our children by "wrestling them to the ground and pin them. He would hurt them by giving them a 'snuggy', (pull their underwear up the back of their butt) until they cried. That's called child abuse. And did I mention he was a police captain?

    • @theb2694
      @theb2694 Рік тому

      Unfortunately, many regular narcissists are cliquish bullies as well. The difference is that the regular narcissists are cowards and hide behind pervasive interpersonal gaslighting. Malignant narcissists can do the same but they have less fear of getting caught or exposed.

    • @angelsandocean2853
      @angelsandocean2853 2 місяці тому +5

      My ex did weird and childish things to me like blocking my way in the hall or grabbing my feet when I was ready to go to bed. I asked him thousands of times not to do it but he continued. Thanks god we are divorced

  • @isabelwagner3258
    @isabelwagner3258 2 роки тому +118

    My narc experience was they were never afraid but was totally paranoid that all were out to get him

    • @prometheuspredator7971
      @prometheuspredator7971 2 роки тому +3

      @@wildbulbasaurappeared9679, Do you have a plan to get out of your roommate situation? I hope so, because if you can't sleep or if your sleep is distributed it can a variety of mental and medical issues.

    • @prometheuspredator7971
      @prometheuspredator7971 2 роки тому +2

      @@wildbulbasaurappeared9679, Do you have to live with this person? Have you thought about moving out? To heck with everyone else and what they think. Who cares. Why do you stay?

    • @prometheuspredator7971
      @prometheuspredator7971 2 роки тому +3

      @@wildbulbasaurappeared9679, I agree. It is all deliberate.

    • @1010QUEEN7
      @1010QUEEN7 2 роки тому +1

      He is nuts lol

    • @prometheuspredator7971
      @prometheuspredator7971 2 роки тому

      @Isabel, From my experience and this is inregard to male narcs. is that they are afraid of acting out and turing their rage and vengeance on men. Personally, my ex narc. Does not show his true self to men. I have seen my ex narc. to be the nicest and funniest guy around men. I believe the reason why they do not show their true self is because they are fearful that they will be confronted and called out on their BS and a physical altercation could result and the narc. is afraid they will get the crap beat out of them. They are cowards, especially around men and paranoid that they will get beat up.

  • @dlm2133
    @dlm2133 2 роки тому +29

    I was married 12 yrs to a psychopath/narcissist. It was like being in prision!! He was controlling, mental and physically abusive. Back in the '80's, wife abuse was legal. I went to the police station with bruises. They did nothing. I'd call the police. By the time they'd get to my house, he would be gone.
    He threatened to shoot himself in the head if I divorced him. Burn the house down if I divorced him.
    Cheating constantly. But beating me and saying I was cheating on him. There's too much to write.
    Times have changed and laws to protect women. The knowledge we have now is wonderful. Thank you for warning people to run. I was 18, he was 21 when we married. My life is definitely book worthy.
    Thanks for your videos.👍

  • @sarahs5340
    @sarahs5340 2 роки тому +249

    Dr. Phil I can’t tell you how important these topics are for public safety. I hope young people receive more training on these types of personalities. So important!

    • @andreasv9472
      @andreasv9472 Рік тому +13

      I would give anything to give my younger self this training. But then, would I listen? Before experiencing this I had a deep conviction of goodness in people due to my upbringing, I just wouldn't believe these toxic people existed, or couldn't be empathised with until I'ld experience it. Though I would probably get out faster if I had training, and before I got trapped.

    • @sarahbatsford4791
      @sarahbatsford4791 Рік тому +6

      Yes narcissm is rampant. Fore warned.........

    • @erikawithee
      @erikawithee Рік тому +1

      Yessssss

    • @charliesmith_
      @charliesmith_ 2 місяці тому +1

      ​​​@@andreasv9472
      The only training is empirical. It is usually learnt in a school playground.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 2 місяці тому +1

      ❤ agreed!! This is a must to learn!!!!

  • @roberts7363
    @roberts7363 2 роки тому +89

    That's the important thing to learn. Don't make excuses for them, don't ruminate if they'll have a complete breakdown if they run out of supply. Protect yourself! You before the narcissist!

    • @fdog4533
      @fdog4533 Рік тому

      They want the FREEDOM to act like JACKASSES and the PEACE to deal with no CONSEQUENCES

    • @CHDean
      @CHDean Рік тому +2

      Do not enable

    • @EL-gu8fv
      @EL-gu8fv Місяць тому

      My neighbourhood narc almost imploded when I reminded him of one simple truth. Then he regrouped, and invented some lies to cover for the truth about him.

  • @michelleblakeney9079
    @michelleblakeney9079 2 роки тому +92

    Yes whenever u confront them about something they immediately change the topic! It’s hard to have a serious conversation with them!

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому +4

      Narcissists don't answer questions and always points the attention back to themselves. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

    • @johnriesinger
      @johnriesinger 2 місяці тому +3

      They have a tendency to turn it around. Thus attacking you. Using it as a shield to protect their own narcissistic activity.

    • @Laynechex
      @Laynechex 2 місяці тому +2

      That drove me absolutly nut, the change of subject to something with absolutly no meaning.

    • @sammyrnaj
      @sammyrnaj 2 місяці тому

      Hard? Impossible! They become extremely aggressive & even, provocative.

    • @BAsed_AFro
      @BAsed_AFro Місяць тому

      @@johnriesinger DARVO tactic

  • @mainebigfoothunter7088
    @mainebigfoothunter7088 Рік тому +36

    My covert narcissist wife of 45 years has randomly said she'd publicly shame me if we divorced. No matter how kind, patient and caring I've been she seems to time her irrational rages when she senses my guard is down. They remain broken people. There's no appreciation for someone being loyal and supportive. Rages usually happens when she's not the center of attention. Weddings, funerals, vacations, holidays, etc. I've come to dread special occasions.
    She somehow learned information about my deceased mother. Probably on Facebook. Anyway, I lost my youngest law enforcement brother of 46 years of age to suicide. One day later I stepped into the house, still in shock, and she gleefully informed me my mother was sexually abused as a child. She then strutted away with her satisfied, narcissistic smirk and darting eyes. She was so pleased with telling me that she was almost floating in air. She had zero empathy for what my mom endured as a child.
    Many other situations too. They're monsters.

    • @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful
      @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful 2 місяці тому +2

      She'll never change, so either continue living in misery, or move forward in life without being her husband. Remember, you get what you tolerate - ALWAYS!

    • @melissaclark8381
      @melissaclark8381 2 місяці тому +1

      At this point, I'd take the leap and get the divorce. And you should get therapy. To live your life with someone like that for all of those years - you need to value yourself and put your life and happiness first. Best of luck to you.

    • @daneoman1000
      @daneoman1000 Місяць тому

      Yep my Ex was the same, truely evil. Sorry to hear what you went through, we could share war stories, just get the divorce, life is too short to live in misery, just get a Tantaly doll if you get lonely, they are great.

    • @TaniaEvansmrvain
      @TaniaEvansmrvain Місяць тому +1

      Try to gather enough strength to break through the hold she has on you….you are her food not her husband… people like her love ur types to destroy with themselves…get out while you STILL can..
      and let her shame you … she has no power over you…
      U know.

    • @user-bg2gh6ty2b
      @user-bg2gh6ty2b Місяць тому

      Bro you should of left like 30 years ago

  • @carriebell3566
    @carriebell3566 2 роки тому +139

    The malignant narcissist is all about fearing everything. It’s horrific how people can live that way 😣

    • @carriebell3566
      @carriebell3566 2 роки тому +19

      @@jimhyde5912 yes, very true. Everything is their enemy and they’re under attack 24/7. When one thinks about it, it must be a horrible life. 😬

    • @lisyclare
      @lisyclare 2 роки тому

      Take them to an exorcist and do not tell them, I promise you it is demonic possession. They can’t stand the Hail Mary prayer, crucifixes or rosary beads.

    • @realdealprimer
      @realdealprimer Рік тому +8

      She became pregnant before I knew she had 5 kids. Most men in her life previously are no longer here. I can only speak to my experience. Was isolated, in her hometown (tiny island) no way to contact family/friends. Kept me away from my 1st born. Then the raging started, hitting, yelling, throwing ect..... I had to live it, go through it and experience a narc family dynamic which has not been exposed to the world. Image no matter what, no rules, no laws, image that's what's it all about with them.

    • @carriebell3566
      @carriebell3566 Рік тому +3

      @@realdealprimerI’m sorry you went through all that. Truly horrific

    • @realdealprimer
      @realdealprimer Рік тому +1

      @@carriebell3566 it's about the young children who don't know any better.

  • @rkbllc
    @rkbllc 2 роки тому +105

    Good books on this disorder:
    "Without Conscience"
    "The Sociopath Next Door"
    "People of the Lie"
    "Snakes in Suits"
    "The Mask of Sanity"
    1 in 25 have AsPD - 1 in 5 CEO's has AsPD. Learn to read the signs. Good luck.

    • @rickibrown4543
      @rickibrown4543 2 роки тому +2

      My ex has pulled every trick o the book. All my life I've seen his dirty tricks. He can get through two weeks before he hurts or talks badly to someone. This whole county knows about him. I guess the reason he hasn't been killed is because nobody is close , he has had problems with his golf buddies . I stay in prayer, I know how to play him too

    • @estherfarris3802
      @estherfarris3802 2 роки тому +1

      @@rickibrown4543 is his name Donald j Trump lol

    • @prometheuspredator7971
      @prometheuspredator7971 2 роки тому +3

      I have read, "The Sociopath Next Door." Great book and a must read.

    • @suzanneflowers2230
      @suzanneflowers2230 2 роки тому +6

      People of the Lie was an eye opener for me and a Godsend. You've made a good list. Thank you.

    • @karenk2409
      @karenk2409 Рік тому +3

      M. Scott Peck's "People of the Lie" was life-changing for me. The foundation of evil is indifference to suffering.

  • @Yellowroseintexas5
    @Yellowroseintexas5 2 роки тому +88

    Comes with jealousy and controlling! Want control everything around them

    • @allhimwithme5115
      @allhimwithme5115 2 роки тому +6

      Yes, these are all secondary to fear. They seek control of everything because they believe if they could get control of everything their anxiety would go away.

    • @lenardosbornsjustice5948
      @lenardosbornsjustice5948 2 роки тому +1

      I took a malignant narcissist who tortured a girl in a film on Dr. Phil. He fooled Dr. Phil. All these years later now Dr. Phil is talking about narcissistic personality disorder.
      The one person that fooled him and his staff.
      Interesting.

    • @lisyclare
      @lisyclare 2 роки тому

      Take them to an exorcist and do not tell them, I promise you it is demonic possession. They can’t stand the Hail Mary prayer, crucifixes or rosary beads.

  • @katiekidman9933
    @katiekidman9933 2 роки тому +69

    Dr. Phil. My ex-husband poisoned me with Arsenic and seven other heavy metals. When that didn't do the trick he shot me. I went down to 83 pounds and was unable to defend myself. I was bullied and emotionally abused throughout the dissolution hearings.
    His ex-wife is partners with his bull dog attorney and they are all friends with the judge that heard our case - in fact they all went to school together. The judge naturally awarded him sole ownership of all our properties, signed my name off of the deeds and kicked me to the curb - which is where I live now. But I would rather live on a street corner than to ever see that Psychopaths face again.😔
    Believe me when I say "I Am Beyond Broken" Love Katie🌷

    • @Salsadans
      @Salsadans 2 роки тому +1

      Omg whats this

    • @Salsadans
      @Salsadans 2 роки тому +1

      So whats the police gonna do they never stop

    • @Salsadans
      @Salsadans 2 роки тому +1

      Ask myself i think they just need love and a lot of atention

    • @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529 2 роки тому +11

      I'm praying for you, Katie, God bless and protect you!!!

    • @debrabrookham6670
      @debrabrookham6670 Рік тому +6

      I just read this a year later. Hope you have improved. My son-in-law is a malignant narcissist. He has destroyed my relationship with my family. I understand your pain. Prayers for you.

  • @Querencia7779
    @Querencia7779 Рік тому +26

    Red flags? Don’t be a fool and become “a broken person in your future.” Do you ignore those ‘odd’ things? Make excuses for them? RUN. Effing RUN. Do not, I repeat - DO NOT LOOK BACK!!! You go no contact. NO contact.

  • @lindaalvarez9898
    @lindaalvarez9898 2 роки тому +109

    Yes! Run for your life!!!
    The psychopathic narcissist NEVER thinks or feels that they have done anything wrong. This very sick couple put my 4 year old child in a bubble bath with a Swiss Army knife. These sick individuals sent a picture of my sweet boy holding up this weapon💔 I just had moved to a new State. I was a single mom and seeing that was horrifying! My baby boy was in danger and there was nothing I could do about it. Also was concerned I would get my child taken from me, so I hid the picture and didn’t tell anyone except the good Lord and then my counselor.
    Fast forward: Thank God I made a new life for myself thousands of miles away from those unfortunate people.
    My son is now an amazing husband and father. I married a wonderful man who adopted my son and now we enjoy being grandparents!

    • @user-ru1ki
      @user-ru1ki 2 роки тому +4

      God bless you Linda 🙏

    • @lovewhitey2027
      @lovewhitey2027 Рік тому

      Omggggg thank God you trusted God imagine how many millions of kind people get set up 🚨Jail and potentially death 💀⚠️💔

    • @birdlover6842
      @birdlover6842 Рік тому +1

      Sick isn't the first word that comes to mind. Immoral is more likely. Choosing to behave badly. Sick is psychotic as in schizophrenics. Glad things worked out.

    • @julianadamico4702
      @julianadamico4702 Рік тому +1

      Linda---- the Lord is your best counselor

    • @fdog4533
      @fdog4533 Рік тому

      What if it's your sibling? not your husband or wife?

  • @sweetpea3153
    @sweetpea3153 Рік тому +46

    I became physically ill once I was targeted by a siblings narcissistic verbal and emotional abuse after our mother's death. I had already developed an anxiety disorder while in an abusive marriage (20 years previously). PTSD set in because of the trauma, but the worst part was that no one believed me. Narcissists don't get better with age and, even though I taught psychology, it took me 66 years to realize my sister suffered from this mental illness.

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому +1

      The Golden child of a Narcissistic mother, becomes a Narcissist themselves.The Scapegoat child is an Empath.Dr Jay Reid has good videos about the Scapegoat child. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

    • @000_x9
      @000_x9 2 місяці тому +1

      I understand this. Feels like my experience

    • @lorih9182
      @lorih9182 Місяць тому

      Personality disorders are categorized as such and are not considered a "mental illness." Illness can be treated. These disorders do not respond to any treatment methods.

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 2 роки тому +51

    If somebody runs over your foot, it doesn’t matter for the pain and broken bones if that was accidentally or on purpose. The pain is real and it takes a lot of time to heal, go for physiotherapy and the foot will never be the same as it had been before the accident. The damage is done. We must protect ourselves from people who do harm to our body and mind and even get satisfaction from it. Handing somebody a bat to hit us with is insanity!

    • @MultiNailz
      @MultiNailz 2 роки тому +4

      Handing someone a bat to hit us with is exactly what you do if your with a narcissist. ❤️

  • @Christynmaine
    @Christynmaine 2 роки тому +40

    I noticed with my narcissist ex that he knew people value empathy, so he would put on a show of empathy that fooled a lot of people. But those of us who knew him well knew otherwise. We could see that his reactions were too exaggerated, too forced, and all about how the situation made him feel rather than the one who was actually experiencing the tragedy. I am quite sure he got his reactions straight out of a movie and practiced in front of a mirror :) And when our little boy would celebrate something; a birthday, a graduation, e.g., the spotlight would have to quickly go from our son to him and stay there for the duration. We were just props to him. Divorcing him was the best decision I ever made.

    • @Virgolove
      @Virgolove Рік тому +1

      how about my ex actually worked on movie sets for 30 yrs...master at "acting"..thanks for mentioning this. I often thought it thru

    • @Foxy21919
      @Foxy21919 4 місяці тому +2

      It's called cold empathy. It's a manipulation tool.

    • @3vil3xil3
      @3vil3xil3 2 місяці тому

      Congratulations you gave a child to a narcissist

    • @JohnSmith-pn1xy
      @JohnSmith-pn1xy 2 місяці тому

      Thats true. Their whole self is false. The false self they create is one of the main aspects of a Narc. Their real self is completely collapsed. The false self is a protection. It's all contrived. And they need your attention, be it good or negative, doesn't matter, they need a reaction in some way to feel they exist, because there is an absence where the self should be. It's what they call Narcissistic Supply, which is a need they constantly have.

  • @hopeinhumanity.
    @hopeinhumanity. 2 роки тому +35

    The only way through is being able to face shame. Narcissistic people can’t face their shame.

    • @decemberlotus
      @decemberlotus 2 роки тому +2

      Some of us live in it

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому +1

      Narcissists projects their own shame into others,but don't see it that way. JazzyT.

  • @specialtwice4975
    @specialtwice4975 2 роки тому +17

    Differences
    Psychopath:
    1.) makes YOU feel anxiety
    2.) as dr. Phill said, doesn't feel anxiety/fear
    3.) they feel limited to very very few emotions (my ex sociopath does not feel fear, sadness, anxiety, etc)
    4.) my ex was like the terminator (there is no stopping a psychopath. I pleaded, begged, cried, etc) My ex would not stop. She was cold blooded.
    5.) a psychopath isn't delusional. He will tell you "The sky is green" because he wants YOU to believe it, then when you do he will smile at your stupidity😈😈😈. (Think a silk black widow or conniving wolf)
    Narcissist:
    1.) makes YOU feel angry
    2.) as dr. Phil said, they feel anxiety
    3.) they feel emotions (I made a narcissist cry once. So yes, a narc feels ALL the same emotions a regular person does but only about him/herself)
    4.) A narcissist will go "oh, maybe I shouldn't do that" sometimes. If it makes them look bad a narcissist won't do it. A narc can be warm blooded.
    5.) a narc is delusional in his grandiose thinking, and believes it.
    They will say "The sky is green." and actually believe it is true.
    (Think an obnoxious peacock) 😌😘😋😄🤓😎😏😁

  • @goldilocks3593
    @goldilocks3593 2 роки тому +48

    Narcissists are shame based. And they will do ANYTHING to stave off having to feel it. Ironically the things they do to stave off the shame (achievements, addictions, affairs, etc.) only deepen the shame and their psychological defences. About the only thing the rest of us can do is stop providing the audience and positive (or negative) reinforcement. Their Achilles heel is that they DO care what others think. (Unlike psychopaths, who really don’t.)

    • @icephoenix1024
      @icephoenix1024 2 роки тому +10

      Yes. But many experts say that narcissist lacks awareness of their own sickness... Codependents who also are shame based have more awareness about that something is wrong about them but often it can take very long time to heal. But many codepentents seem to heal to some extent as oppose to narcissists.

    • @1010QUEEN7
      @1010QUEEN7 2 роки тому +5

      He's shittin on himself don't want nobody to know he is doing bad

    • @icephoenix1024
      @icephoenix1024 2 роки тому

      @@1010QUEEN7 You mean dr Phil is talking bullshit or what?

    • @prometheuspredator7971
      @prometheuspredator7971 2 роки тому +5

      You say narcissists will do anything to stave off their shame. Narcissists are not intune to experience shame, guilt, nor do they have a conscience. They don't identify it and it is not a part of their makeup as a person. It is who they are. Their huge ego and self esteem, and grandiosity prohibits it as they think of themselves as invincible and the, "Big Dog." When they feel challenged they will do anything to protect their ego and self esteem, because that is who they are and will defend it to the ends of the earth, such as in out of control volcanic spewing rages and violence. They are self centered and all wrapped up into themselves. When someone, especially those that are in their inner circle barely touch it they fly off the handle and get verbally and physically violent. This is who they are as we know who we are as a person.

    • @1010QUEEN7
      @1010QUEEN7 2 роки тому

      @@icephoenix1024 no dr. Phil hit the nail on the head 🎯🎯🎯

  • @RogueMamaStitcher1
    @RogueMamaStitcher1 2 роки тому +66

    My grandpa claimed that the people who are the most dangerous are the ones that turn white when about to attack as opposed to those that get red and flushed before attacking. 🤔

    • @RogueMamaStitcher1
      @RogueMamaStitcher1 2 роки тому +2

      @@Here.now123 I don't doubt that. I'm wondering if the people with the higher surface skin temperature also turn white instead of getting flushed.

    • @Nat-hu4gq
      @Nat-hu4gq 2 роки тому +9

      The physiological symptoms of emotions are felt during and before an attack. Like heart beat increasing all the way to increase cognitive awareness. The amygdala and hippocampus activates. The people who stay white are what I call the blank people. None of the physiological symptoms to emotions are present because there are no emotions. Different response in the amygdala and hippocampus. Your grandpa is a wise man

    • @suzanneflowers2230
      @suzanneflowers2230 2 роки тому +4

      Wisdom.

    • @nmHispana
      @nmHispana 2 роки тому +5

      That's my current psychopath landlord of only eight months who has not only made my life miserable since the first day of moving in, but who has a violent temper and is always red and flushed.

    • @deborahhershey3045
      @deborahhershey3045 Рік тому +1

      That was my EX

  • @adinevanhulst
    @adinevanhulst Рік тому +66

    I am so shocked to hear this!! Never heard it like this before. Honestly thank you so much for breaking this down and explaining the insecurity and unwillingness to admit when there’s a fear or something going wrong. The constant blaming and not taking ownership and admitting fault is the worst feeling in the world when you’re dealing with a narcissist. Trying to have any kind of a normal conversation just goes absolutely nowhere.

    • @bibekjung7404
      @bibekjung7404 Рік тому

      Almighty God KABIR is the CREATOR OF all SOULS -- SAINT RAMPALJI MAHARAJ

    • @hawkeyemaga3110
      @hawkeyemaga3110 Рік тому +2

      Right. My ex-husband was a misogynist / narcissist, and nothing I said was important & he enjoyed making fun of me & my family. I’ll never understand how a man like him could one minute hurt you, then later on show love with a makeup gift of a beautiful outfit, red roses 🌹, and a fancy dinner out with dom Perignon. He almost succeeded in destroying me until I sought professional help.

    • @pamkay1756
      @pamkay1756 Рік тому +1

      Calvin, this is YOU! It all MAKES perfect sense to me. You love what you do to me. AND I STILL LOVE YOU

    • @hawkeyemaga3110
      @hawkeyemaga3110 Рік тому +4

      @@pamkay1756 Save yourself or what’s left and get out, my advice. Life’s not worth living if you’re living with someone who enjoys tormenting you.

  • @mbspiders1
    @mbspiders1 2 роки тому +131

    There seems to be so many “toxic “ people around or is it because I’m in counselling and dealing with a life-time of trauma I’m more aware of it? Whatever the reason there seems to be a lot of people that show a huge amount of narcissistic disorder.
    Again Dr Phil you were one of the catalysts for me to get counselling 🙏💕

    • @DarkerSideOfDawn
      @DarkerSideOfDawn 2 роки тому +15

      Thank you for saying as I can safely do so. It’s amazing that we should have had so many marriage counselors and even though every concern I expresses was covert abuse not a single once called it out. It was only when I got into DV counseling did any of it make sense.
      It’s been a long road and I’m working my way safety out

    • @saronaiker4581
      @saronaiker4581 2 роки тому +5

      Yes...more & more

    • @inhale.exhale.2527
      @inhale.exhale.2527 2 роки тому +2

      in my humble opinion as a layman and 'armchair psychologist / sociologist / political 'minuteman' who has had significant exposure to narcissism over the coursenof a lifetime (i am 61), we are facing an explosion of wide spectrum npd in the short and medium term.
      it has been deliberately socially engineered by a pathological minority of high level actors, both knowingly or unknowingly embroiled (public and deep state politicians, 'intel' agencies, corporations, media, known known secret societies and think tanks etc) to a dark end.
      that end is the lowering of mass moral and ethical resistance to manipulation and deceit - the primary arm and objective of the narcissist in control / power / authority. in conjunction, a state of mass 'learned helplessness' is currently being instilled through the covid vaccination issue.
      this is the beginning of the rabbit hole but get down there and ironically the pieces do suddenly start to make sense. it's topside that is deliberately fubar (cognitive dissonance).
      hope this makes sense for you.
      spread the word. inform yourself. 🙏

    • @michelleblakeney9079
      @michelleblakeney9079 2 роки тому +16

      People are getting more toxic every day and by the minute!

    • @fdog4533
      @fdog4533 Рік тому +6

      NARCASSISM has lived in my family for years and I pray it DOESN'T CONTINUE when I leave!

  • @robertataylor5794
    @robertataylor5794 2 роки тому +24

    For me, knowing the truth is the elusive closure. I know how, why and WTF happened. I can make better choices next time. Some people have mental health disorders that are not treatable. Truth is I didn't break it, I can't fix it. At least I know I can fix me, I will be leaving very very soon. It has taken me two years to plan, plot and prepare. Wish me luck and wits!

    • @Silllywalks
      @Silllywalks Місяць тому

      I hope you are long gone by now :) ! 👋😸

  • @Jessie-ny9kd
    @Jessie-ny9kd 2 роки тому +91

    I wish I could thank Dr. Phil in person! He speaks of exactly what I’m going through and gives me a better understanding going forward in my life. It saddens me to know that narcissists have no empathy😡 i feel like 18 years of my marriage was a lie😢 in process of getting divorced and learning through Dr. Phil. It’s a lot to process but I know sadly I’m not alone

    • @veganviber852
      @veganviber852 2 роки тому +6

      Sadly they don't have empathy. Well I'm proud of you that you are getting a divorce from one then you are braver than many and choosing you and what is best for you now. I grew up with 2 narcissistic parents different types of narcissists.
      I know all about them my mum is the lesser extreme one I guess she still stays married to my dad and his been draining her life and soul out of her since I was born.
      I commend anyone who chooses to leave and do what's best for them you are able to do something she will never do and you should feel so proud of you. These are the first steps for you to have a life that's more happy and are able to thrive and be free to be yourself. There is nothing worse than watching someone become a shell of the person you used to know as the years go on knowing the path they have chosen to stay on is like a slow painful death of the soul and spirit and knowing all you can do is live your best life and never let that be your cycle or legacy.
      I wish you all the best in your life and each day over time will slowly but surely get better for you. I see narcissists as once your done with them it's like the trash took itself out.
      Dr phil is great always loved him he is such a great human being and has some very wise sound advice that is always true and honest he is a gentleman with compassion and integrity and someone I deeply admire.

    • @Jessie-ny9kd
      @Jessie-ny9kd 2 роки тому +2

      @@veganviber852 thank you so much for the response back!😊 Your words helped reassure me that I did in fact do the right thing👍🏻It’s weird bc I don’t feel brave but I’m learning I am:) Thank you for sharing with me that you grew up with 2 narcissistic parents:( I can’t imagine 2! My favorite part is where you said “I see narcissists as once your done with them it’s like the trash took itself out.” Actually I am going to be rereading this frequently to remind myself how I did in fact do the right thing and for your words that encourage me:) Thank you for the good wishes as I move through this crazy chapter! I have always loved Dr. Phil as well. He tells it like it is. I wish you well and thank you again for taking the time to write to me🤗

    • @1010QUEEN7
      @1010QUEEN7 2 роки тому +7

      Don't feel bad mine was a 37 year old lie

    • @Jessie-ny9kd
      @Jessie-ny9kd 2 роки тому +7

      @@1010QUEEN7 😓 wow 37!years! It doesn’t matter whether it’s 1 year or 37 years. It’s awful how many of these people/monsters there are in this world!!!

    • @MultiNailz
      @MultiNailz 2 роки тому +4

      @@Jessie-ny9kd you are not alone. I also liked the statement “ the trash took itself out “ I’ve been married to my narcissist for 37 years and grew up with a dad who is a narcissist. My narcissist husband left me for the thousand something time last year a week before thanksgiving and at last I said no more. The trash took itself out and it’s been a blessing. I work to get better everyday. Some are good some are bad but I’m having more good days than bad and I keep moving forward everyday . Know that your not alone. It may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do but if you stay on course moving forward it will get easier. God bless and happy thanksgiving!!! 🦃

  • @kimkilgore148
    @kimkilgore148 2 роки тому +26

    It took me going tru six set of tires, a punctured oil filter, break lines messed with, sugared gas tank on my truck, broken into my home bleaching everything insight, chasing me on roads causing me to race up to excessive speed trying to get away, (he was causing me to wreck), gang stalking, parental alienation, and EPO's, and I held out for 6 solid months and he couldn't stand he didn't have that control over me anymore.
    It's been over 6 years , I go to therapy for diagnosed PTSD on the count I actually went into war, fighting for my freedom, and my life, what gave him the right to take my freedom,? people like this are mentally sick! The therapist told me he is a malignant narcissist with ASPD, I've been No Contact and I could care less if he is pushing up daisies, I'll never forgive or forget what he has done to me and my family!

    • @annawallace3264
      @annawallace3264 2 роки тому +1

      I can relate as my Husband did similar things to me, cut power steering lines, (and recently admitted to me he did that), cut transmission lines, put something in gas tank but swore he wasn’t near the car (I caught it via security camera I put in garage and he knew the camera was there), zip tied a part on my car, left the wrench under the hood….have suffered years of retaliation from him. The evilness this type of person does is awful.

    • @annawallace3264
      @annawallace3264 2 роки тому

      in addition to my comment below, when my Husband admitted he cut my car power steering lines, he was laughing saying oh he was going to splice them back together again, as if he were proud of himself. That’s a sick mind, evil!

    • @tinamcbride1736
      @tinamcbride1736 Рік тому

      I feel the same way

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      Targeted Individuals Handbook and Gangstalkers manual, tells what Gangstalkers do to the target.Targeted Individuals,TI, is under 24/7 surveillance tru satelittes, and watched in their own private home. JazzyT, Gangstalked in Europe for 25 years.

  • @BBFCCO733
    @BBFCCO733 2 роки тому +14

    My narcissistic father put me in harms way as a child. He slept very well at night. If there was a time I needed him, he would see it as weakness and begin to threaten me, yell at me, use the most degrading insults. As a mom I could not imagine speaking to my child this way. Funny how when I got married and became more secure he appeared and forced himself into my life. Always wanting to be catered to and pretending to be an amazing father and grandfather with his words and as I call it theatrics. Pretend, that's the thing. They don't put in the elbow grease into any relationship, especially during difficult times, which they more than likely create. And they always play the victim. Better off without them because that's when the healing begins and the love just brings in good things in our lives, but lots of psychological damage to undo. I am still a zombie often from years of neglect and abuse but therapy and creativity has helped me alot.

  • @Theloversconjure
    @Theloversconjure Рік тому +2

    My ex (who I believe to be a sociopath) threatened to harm my child if I tell anyone about his abuse. I was trafficked, forced into marriage, then baby trapped by force. By the grace of God I was able to escape and tried so hard to satisfy his demonic requirements by agreeing to let him have everything and agreeing to 50/50 custody. The custody part was a mistake. I regret every day not fighting to have her full time- I just wanted her to have her father in her life. I pray every single day to God that the truth about he and his demonic family will be exposed, and that Justice will be served. They’ve hurt so many people. I’m so terrified for my baby girl.

  • @maureenfrederick8666
    @maureenfrederick8666 Рік тому +6

    I just watched this to bolster myself. Thank you. I wish you could meet my 93 year old Narcissistic husband, now with quite a bit of dementia. I’m 67, his wife of 25 years, and, suffice it to say, I’ve got my hands full. No more gaslighting like our early marriage, but his neediness is exhausting.

  • @freespirit5234
    @freespirit5234 2 роки тому +12

    You are the only one on youtube to clarify the difference between a malignant and a psychopath. Thank you so much Dr.Phil, finally a real thorough explanation!!

  • @monalisa2662
    @monalisa2662 2 роки тому +30

    Dr. Phil... thank you for clarifying the different types of narcissists and psychopaths or sociopaths. You are literally throwing a lifeline to me and other loved ones in my life! God bless your work!

  • @jacquelinem1960
    @jacquelinem1960 2 роки тому +22

    My favourite book by Rockelle Lerner .. ' The Object of my Affection is in my Reflection.' This was the book that let me know I was married to a Narcissist who used triangulation to deflect from his own covert personality. After 20+ years things started coming into place. My eyes were open. Now trying to divorce him he has strung this out for dear life and made my life as difficult as possible. However the end is in sight, by next year I'll be free.

    • @andreasv9472
      @andreasv9472 Рік тому

      How is it going? Hang on! You're worth it.

  • @katiepayne2479
    @katiepayne2479 2 роки тому +23

    I can tell you and Dr. Les Carter are good buddies. Thank you for producing this content. The more information out there, the more victims get help.

  • @rachaelclarke9268
    @rachaelclarke9268 2 роки тому +11

    My family at its core

  • @rebeccatrono3376
    @rebeccatrono3376 2 роки тому +20

    Thank you, Dr. Phil, for saying there seems to be a genetic component to malignant narcissists. My older sister and my son are both classic. My sister has been working for years to destroy our remaining family's love for me, because I finally made a clear boundary with her. My son has trefuaed to allow us to have a relationship with his two youngest children because we had asked to sit down with he and his wife to discuss some things that had happened during their wedding weekend and after, so we could work things through and move forward as a family. The craziness is beyond belief when they are called on their behavior. Incredibly toxic, but also incredibly sad. To call this a simple "disorder" is so wrong. My son's father exhibited the same behaviors, as did his own father. If i had known, I would have done things differently. My sister manipulated, bullied and used our mother all the way to the grave. I refuse to participate in that. I wont enable any more.

    • @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529 2 роки тому +2

      I am so sorry!!! Psalm 58:3-5 says, "The wicked are estranged FROM THE WOMB; they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies..." (born that way!) God bless and protect you.

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      The Golden child of a Narcissistic mother, became a Narcissist themselves,the Scapegoat child is an Empath.Dr Jay Reid has good videos about the Scapegoat child. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

  • @scottsent8120
    @scottsent8120 2 місяці тому +3

    Yes, I've wondered what Phil's mental pathology is: psychopathy or "malignant" narcissism.

  • @jessicaowens836
    @jessicaowens836 2 роки тому +48

    Me (sitting alone on an island) : well, glad I finally got away from all those darn narcissists……😂😂

  • @rebeccakennedy1167
    @rebeccakennedy1167 6 місяців тому +3

    Dr. PHIL, You have have always explained every detail in such a precise manner.
    It's so true.
    When my mother was alive many years ago, she loved your shows & I can see why.
    Thank you so much! 😇

  • @truth.honesty
    @truth.honesty 2 місяці тому +3

    Phill talking about malignant narcissism like as if this was a buzzfeed or psychology today article disappoints me deeply. It isn't a thing just a sub category of psychopathy that doesn't need another name.

  • @pennystrailsandtravelsgard2773
    @pennystrailsandtravelsgard2773 2 роки тому +16

    Great video,thank you Phil for talking about this subject .

  • @jacintacody133
    @jacintacody133 2 роки тому +7

    This is possibly the best explanation I've listened to,the upset they cause others at times is unforgivable but you're right,you're at nothing trying to reason with them.

    • @Minneolaos
      @Minneolaos Рік тому +1

      Indeed, good explanation. They can't be reasoned with. They have a twisted and circular logic, and they do not take any responsibility.

  • @144Donn
    @144Donn 2 роки тому +3

    Listening to Dr Phil is for me, closing the barn door after all the horses have left. But, it is very cathartic and reassuring. TY Dr. Phil.

  • @woodtool2882
    @woodtool2882 4 місяці тому +3

    My Father was a malignant narcissist. Getting away from him and getting therapy was the best thing I could have done.

  • @peanutbutter4968
    @peanutbutter4968 2 роки тому +27

    This was the video I needed, thank you so much 👏👏👏👏 I’m living with three malignant narcissists right now and it’s absolute hell. I tried everything to fix them but I’ve truly realized it’s out of my control. I needed this video. Thank you 👏🙏

    • @ilonaandlivia
      @ilonaandlivia Рік тому +1

      You can not fix them, I think it is inheritable, my partner and his daughter are narcs and evil. They manipulate each other and make everyone's life Hell.

    • @karenk2409
      @karenk2409 Рік тому

      The point is, Peanut Butter, they don't want to be fixed. They want to feed on you. Ever see those plants or jellyfish that lure their prey in with a bouncing pretty "flower"? They are the human version of this. Run far, far away, create a sanctuary around yourself, and rebuild a healthy life. I promise, it works.

  • @jengable4888
    @jengable4888 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you Dr.Phil for posting this video ! Currently, I am in a situation that is completely unhealthy, reporting it, and nothing is being done about it. The problem lies when money has been used as a weapon to control, there are also technology issues, and I have been blocked from employment/job positions.
    While this is transpiring, my property was being stolen, and destroyed AGAIN !
    I even placed a picture of my infant daughter, and myself during my pregnancy hoping to deter the individual(s) who keep illegally entering my locked bedroom.
    Also, I have been forced yet again, into another miserable housing situation. Something has to give, because individuals cannot have it both ways, so to speak. I can explain that statement at a later point in time. So, I suspect that I dealing with someone who has ASPD, because the problem is ongoing, it appears that there is no fear of detection, apprehension, or consequences.

  • @tsgrammy1
    @tsgrammy1 2 роки тому +14

    My grown child is a narcissist. It is very hard to break away from your only child.
    Thank you Dr. Phil, keep this topic going. I wish I had your advice back in the day !

    • @prometheuspredator7971
      @prometheuspredator7971 2 роки тому

      I am glad that you did. Staying with a narc. means early death.

    • @curiousone6435
      @curiousone6435 2 роки тому +6

      The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

    • @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529 2 роки тому +4

      They can actually MAKE YOU SICK if you are around them a lot, this is no joke, people, beware!!!

    • @thetruthintheboothfelix9647
      @thetruthintheboothfelix9647 Рік тому +4

      @@curiousone6435 she's a grandma... already.. on UA-cam. Blaming her child🤣🤣

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      You can learn to Go Gray Rock from a Dr Ramani video,so you don't reacts to a Narcissist, that's what they want's bcs it's giving them Narcissistic supply, from good or bad reactions.Learn to be as interesting as an grey rock. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

  • @sarahbatsford4791
    @sarahbatsford4791 Рік тому +1

    Spot on Dr phil. There really is nothing you can do for them but look inward & heal any narcisstic stuff in yourself.

  • @lynnbass708
    @lynnbass708 Місяць тому +1

    I was brought up by a narcissist and she turned my brother into a psychopath as the golden child

  • @lorinapetranova2607
    @lorinapetranova2607 2 роки тому +21

    I finally reached a point where I didn't care how evil malignant narcissist mommy dearest got screwed up. Now all I do is pray for her to go into the light when she expires from this physical realm. And I finally went no contact at this late stage of life. I gotta have peace inside when I leave this physical realm. I like the shorter show. Cuts thru the crap. Take care ya'll.

    • @Tricia-xo6fq
      @Tricia-xo6fq 2 роки тому +2

      @@wildbulbasaurappeared9679 I really can identify and wholeheartedly agree. Exactly like individuals with the same characteristically mental Heath diagnosis. Be it bipolar, schizophrenia or any other, these personality types are not unique. We are not skilled to help them. We can only protect ourselves from their abuse.

  • @aussienic8428
    @aussienic8428 Рік тому +6

    I have had severe sweats when going, or being out. I thought it was menopause but since being on HRT there hasn't been much change. Hearing Dr Phil talk of these exact symptoms in trauma patients gave me a sense of relief. While I don't know how to stop it, hopefully, my body will be able to react to that source of trauma no longer being there one day.

    • @anti-ethniccleansing465
      @anti-ethniccleansing465 Рік тому

      HRT causes cancer. My mom got breast cancer 2x because of HRT during her menopause. I highly recommend getting off that stuff.

  • @thescapegoatclub
    @thescapegoatclub 2 роки тому +2

    So that’s why my sister’s house is always so cold. Chilling in more ways than one. Thank you Dr Phil

  • @tracytritle7221
    @tracytritle7221 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you Dr Phil. Your information is so helpful in obtaining peace

  • @paulap365
    @paulap365 2 роки тому +7

    Thank you for this information Dr. Phill.

  • @taze317
    @taze317 Рік тому +4

    These people don't change unless it's for the worse. Leave. Completely. Don't look back. It's over. Move on.
    Or go insane.

  • @allans7281
    @allans7281 Місяць тому

    It’s one thing to listen to this and learn about it but it’s another thing to actually go through it for nine months not knowing really what it was and then to discover what you were actually dealing with wow truly amazing

  • @ericheine2414
    @ericheine2414 3 місяці тому

    Dr Phil I love this new format.
    I find you much more interesting. You're more on point. Thank you

  • @andreasanford4244
    @andreasanford4244 Рік тому +3

    My ex narcissist actually asked me if he could run over my foot with his semi so that I could sue his company and get money. So when you said it doesn’t matter if someone accidentally or intentionally runs over your foot it made me remember that. Ofcourse I said hell no to his crazy request.

  • @darinsmith2458
    @darinsmith2458 Рік тому +6

    i am so glad that you brought up anxiety.. The Narcissists in my life all had that.. I could feel it..

    • @darinsmith2458
      @darinsmith2458 Рік тому +4

      this is good stuff... this is exactly my experience with a Narcissist.. it was all about power and control..

    • @fdog4533
      @fdog4533 Рік тому +1

      ​​@@darinsmith2458 I try to be kind to a NARCASSIST, then they make me REGRET even trying!

    • @darinsmith2458
      @darinsmith2458 Рік тому +1

      @@fdog4533 thank you... that has been my experience as well

    • @eriktabbers3599
      @eriktabbers3599 3 місяці тому

      ​@@fdog4533try to get an exit strategy and find someone that is worth while. 😅

  • @amya9597
    @amya9597 2 місяці тому +2

    I recently went to a psychologist because my mom was constantly blaming me and other people for everything in her life, even her depression. After hearing more of my stories of her, he said she was a passive aggressive covert narcissist. He told me, “I’m sorry. You can’t change her. The best thing for you to do is to distance yourself from her and focus on your own family.” It’s sad that this is my own mother, but feels good to have a diagnosis and that it validates all the hell I went through growing up and still experience. I don’t call her and I don’t divulge too much information when she calls. This alone has eaten her alive.

  • @lindajackson7843
    @lindajackson7843 2 роки тому +2

    Well. this has helped me to understand what I have been around in my life to date! it hurts everyone! RUN AND FAST!!!!!

  • @DisEnchantedPersons
    @DisEnchantedPersons 2 роки тому +22

    Yes, there is a genetic component to anti-social, I know a whole family of them, got away as soon as I could, what a nightmare!!

    • @marianmatus6812
      @marianmatus6812 Рік тому

      It's continuing the grandkids is feared and is not in my life because issues seem deeper. Spoiled and is worse. Calling that one a pyscopath. Even told me as a grandparent how she'd like to see me die. She's been home schooled good one

    • @marianmatus6812
      @marianmatus6812 Рік тому

      Also the mother says to the kid good glad you stood up for yourself. Hmmm

    • @marianmatus6812
      @marianmatus6812 Рік тому

      They are desperate to blame others for their downfalls

  • @ebenezermissiontv
    @ebenezermissiontv 2 роки тому +4

    I wish I heard this information 5 years ago. Anyway, thanks Dr Phil

  • @DS40764
    @DS40764 2 роки тому +1

    This is so appropriate an issue and example with recent trials

  • @sharontarantino8272
    @sharontarantino8272 Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much. i worked for 23years with a woman who has Histrionic personality disorder. She was proud of it. Praise God i am out of that situation. I have learned from it . What to watch out for in others and to just walk away.

  • @tiredveteran
    @tiredveteran Рік тому +3

    Am I the only one that clicked on this thinking the thumbnail was showing Dr. Phil holding a cigar? Lol.

  • @ruebee313
    @ruebee313 2 роки тому +7

    Wow, I used to think the only difference was that one hasn't gotten caught with blood on their hands yet. but this perfectly makes sense and I can see that difference. They are the reason lie detectors are not fool proof.

  • @nightmareappliance
    @nightmareappliance Рік тому

    I needed this separation. I needed to understand and thank you

  • @mexicanbeautyqueen7988
    @mexicanbeautyqueen7988 2 роки тому

    Dr. feel you are brilliant and I really mean it. I’ve never thought of that and you are so right a psychopath is never anxious.

  • @danacarterrealtorexprealty4510
    @danacarterrealtorexprealty4510 2 роки тому +13

    The temperature issue is quite interesting. I believe my hubs is a narc but his temp is always higher than normal. No one has ever been able to explain it. I’ve questioned him being a psychopath but he doesn’t fit all characteristics. Either way he is a very disturb and sick individual.

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      Narcissists do the same things to their target,the Malignant Narcissist can be violent, too. Enlightened Target,Narc Survivor, Dr Ramani etc.,has alots about Narcissism. JazzyT.

  • @susangeorge5399
    @susangeorge5399 2 роки тому +4

    What is a communal narcissist? Spot on! I've seen him come unglued on his stepmother many times.

  • @vitalule8889
    @vitalule8889 Рік тому +1

    Dr. Phil you are correct, truly appreciate your great help

  • @margaretgraham3881
    @margaretgraham3881 2 роки тому

    Short and clear. Perfect. Thanks !

  • @brendaredmond4678
    @brendaredmond4678 2 роки тому +5

    My family likes to give me a hard time about my fascination with true crime. They think it's a little morbid. My adult children ask " Mom how do you even sleep at night?" This is it! It's the psychology. What makes these people commit such atrocities? It's like it is so out of the realm of my understanding and I think I just want to know why. Dr. Phil I am a long time fan and I really enjoy your channel.

    • @bat-melechhamelachim4063
      @bat-melechhamelachim4063 2 роки тому +2

      I’ve drawn to the conclusion that it’s a spiritual realm problem. There has to be demons behind these people committing super horrible crimes that are unexplainable even to the experts.

    • @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529 2 роки тому

      @@bat-melechhamelachim4063 This is the aspect the "professionals" overlook and deny! I studied Deliverance Ministry (casting out demons). NPD is indeed demonic - many manifestations such as seeing their eyes turn black, growling, seeing spirits around them and much more is widely reported. It is known as the "Jezebel spirit" from the Holy Bible and MUST be cast out by a Pastor who does Deliverance Ministry. If anyone reading this, doubts it ,just ASK A PASTOR and they will confirm this info! God bless.

    • @bat-melechhamelachim4063
      @bat-melechhamelachim4063 2 роки тому

      @@repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      Oh, I know. I'm a deliverance minister and Jezebel hates me. She's told me many time. But this is not just one spirit this is the whole dominion.

    • @georgewashington7574
      @georgewashington7574 Рік тому +1

      They’re probably concerned because I had a narcissistic sociopathic ex who was obsessed with watching all of the dark, evil, sinister, cheating, scandals, shows with personality disorders. Then it dawned on me after the relationship was over that there was a relatability there and not an interest. She wasn’t watching them due to the thrilling nature of it. She was watching them because it was relatable and a “Cook Book” of sorts. Terrifying

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      ​@@georgewashington7574Narcissists follows the channels about Narcissism,to learn new tricks to puts their target down.Narcissists and Psychopaths, both controls others and feeds off on drama and others pain. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

  • @ceilconstante7813
    @ceilconstante7813 2 роки тому +9

    I grew up with 3 siblings who are Narcissist and possibly one a psychopath. I've been following H G Tudor a Narcissist Psychopath. He says none of them feel guilt or anxiety. These names are modern. EVERYWHERE in the Bible you see Evildoers & The Wicked describes their traits.

    • @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529 2 роки тому +2

      Psalm 58:3-5 says, "The WICKED are ESTRANGED FROM THE WOMB; they go astray AS SOON AS THEY BE BORN, speaking lies..." In other words, they are BORN THAT WAY!

    • @aliacampbell7227
      @aliacampbell7227 2 роки тому

      That’s a lie they do trust me! Malignant narcs feel anxiety if not extreme but profoundly hidden

  • @sunnybreeze3391
    @sunnybreeze3391 2 роки тому +1

    Very interesting and true. I m living with a narcist and he is always very warm.

  • @glennleslie6127
    @glennleslie6127 2 місяці тому

    Thank you Dr. Phil for this video. My malignant narcissist targeted physicians as his victims. I found out later that I was the 5th physician he targeted to date. When we co-purchased a home, every single check he wrote to me "bounced". The very next month, one day I came home from work, and he had purchased a used (this was the year 2000) Rolex watch for $5,000. These people cannot be fixed; I put up with it for 5 years. Those were 5 years I'll never get back, but I certainly learned quite a lot. The "no contact" rule is key. If it seems to be too good to be true during the first 3months, it is. BTW, you've helped so many people over the years including me.

  • @truthjunkie63
    @truthjunkie63 Рік тому +4

    All this shit stems from childhood. Love your kids and raise them right.

    • @rslwannabe9475
      @rslwannabe9475 3 місяці тому

      So true. My dad was a malignant narcissistic with antisocial personality disorder.
      I was that 3 year old that got to watch my dad drug my mom and see him watch porn where people had sex with animals.
      And that was just at 3...
      I'm now going to therapy so I don't spend the rest of my life murdering people for revenge on what society made me go through.
      But he'll, my dad even found a way to turn weight lifting into a federal crime 😂

  • @gayejones7360
    @gayejones7360 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you sir for this. I literally believe it will take a act of God to help these individuals. I've tried and tried to help, but my goodness, they fight their own help, all the way. I continue to pray for them, but other than that, I realize, there's nothing I can do for them. Considering the unraveling, I can't help but wonder, if this would help them. To just let go and then build themselves back better. I don't know, but I sure do appreciate your input on this. Thanks again and God bless you all. Have a great Thanksgiving 💜

  • @janherlihy8301
    @janherlihy8301 Місяць тому

    I’m so grateful for these messages and reminders to stay away

  • @pamvictory8670
    @pamvictory8670 10 місяців тому +2

    I have a daughter who is a malignant narcissist. Her father is one.
    She refuses to see her own behavior. Her therapists have bought into her claims of being a victim.
    She has beaten on my husband and sent me to jail on made up charges.
    Where we live, she has a Bible sized law enforcement jacket against her and yet she gets away with this stuff.
    She accused me of trying to kill my husband with a gun. I was 65 years old and on oxygen because of a prior year heart attack.
    I never had a firearm that day but they hauled me off anyway. I was put in solitary confinement for 13 days and went through things that no one should have been through.
    Finally, my bail was lowered to $7k and I bailed out and went home.
    This is the kind of stuff a malignant narcissist will do to you.

    • @BlueStar3
      @BlueStar3 10 місяців тому +1

      Wow! I was in solitary for 3 months. I lost my mind literally 😢 I don’t think anyone should have to suffer that way. It’s beyond human compassion. I’m sorry you went threw this. ❤

    • @pamvictory8670
      @pamvictory8670 10 місяців тому +1

      @BlueStar3 Truly it is cruelty. There are laws to prevent this for surpassing 15 days but the law has ways to prolong it. I was denied so many of my civil rights but when you are old and disabled, try finding the duckets to pay a good attorney.

    • @BlueStar3
      @BlueStar3 10 місяців тому

      @@pamvictory8670 yes. Thank you for the reply!

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      The best revenge on a Narcissist, is to live your best life without them. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

  • @radicalhonesty3628
    @radicalhonesty3628 2 роки тому +4

    watching this video and it is bringing up so much stuff in me:
    I trauma bonded, yet again, with another person, I met online.
    the pain is excruciating.
    I wanted so bad,
    for it to be love.
    I purposely went out of my way:
    to burn down any and every red flag, that emerged.
    and now they are all just way too painful to ignore.
    I'm dying inside.
    dying.
    the pain is agonizing and tormenting.
    so much so that I just wish I was, in fact, dead.
    42 years old and I've never been in a relationship.
    never had love.
    It's hell.
    absolute utter agonizing paralyzing hell.
    soul rape.

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      Ppl who grew up with a Narcissistic mother, walks straight into the arms of a Narcissist, several times, that's the energy they knows. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

  • @truthtarot7074
    @truthtarot7074 2 роки тому +3

    All facts 💯

  • @delmaquezada6733
    @delmaquezada6733 2 місяці тому

    Very interesting, I'm glad I saw this video. Thank you Doctor Phil

  • @lindarusch9660
    @lindarusch9660 Рік тому +2

    My former husband, a covert malignant narcissist, would tell me I always made him angry. His ears would get extremely red. He said he could feel his blood pressure rise and it was all my fault. He said he could feel the blood pumping in his ears and head. That I made him angry....I said you choose to be angry about everything, and anything. Even things that other people never get angry about. It was all about CONTROL....all the time.

  • @xNobleSavagex
    @xNobleSavagex Рік тому +6

    I'm listening to this as a diagnosed narcissist. My saving grace is that I'm self-aware and I make big efforts so that my condition doesn't affect the ones I love negatively. I understand why we're painted as the enemy and people to avoid (my father was a toxic narcissist), but it can be terribly lonely. I wish psychologists would take a less 'good vs evil' approach and understand that there are pro-social narcissists out here who want to do good things.

    • @user-so6so5pr2p
      @user-so6so5pr2p Рік тому +4

      Be careful my friend, u might not be a narcissist, dont trust one psychologist, I don't think u will think like this if u r narc, maybe u just have a few traits

    • @xNobleSavagex
      @xNobleSavagex Рік тому

      @@user-so6so5pr2p I appreciate your thoughts...something to think about.

    • @SharingItForward
      @SharingItForward 10 місяців тому

      Yes it's understandable. I believe there are narcissist that can become self aware with age or mortification. Choosing a path without interpersonal relationships is imperative. Focus on your strengths and skills. Also get another therapist opinion. Peace!!

    • @Chatndiva
      @Chatndiva 8 місяців тому

      ​@@user-so6so5pr2phonestly, you sound like a narcissist. "It's not you, its them!! You're totally fine!". Stop it.

    • @user-so6so5pr2p
      @user-so6so5pr2p 8 місяців тому +2

      @@Chatndiva cool, if you say this u didn't understand anything about narc. A narc wouldn't feel bad for doing evil things, like the guy in the comment stated. Unless they fake. I don't think a anonymous person would randomly fake under a UA-cam comment. Anyway, cool

  • @cherylann1602
    @cherylann1602 2 роки тому +3

    I feel for all for you...I know it's been a hard having to have that in your heads for a long time or just yesterday. I'm in my 60s now and I had a husband who did bad things in the 1970's! I was so scared of him because he sonetimes hurt me physically and or mentally. I tried to be a perfect wife but it didn't work. One night he was driving home & he lost control of the car....he was killed at the age of 21 yrs old.
    We have a daughter but she doesn't remember her father. My daughter has a mean temper just like her father & looks likes him. Oh nooo....😱 When I go to sleep I have nightmares of Kevin. I don't know what to do to be happier in my life.😖

    • @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529 2 роки тому +2

      I am praying for you...yes, it can be inherited, as Phil said!!!! May the Lord bless and protect you, always.

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      Ppl who has been tru Narcissistic abuse,gets Ptsd bcs it is so stressful, others even gets Fatigue and that's a total burn out.Narc Survivor and Enlightened Target,both has help to those who has suffered from Narcissistic JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

  • @Fashion-Cybersecurity
    @Fashion-Cybersecurity Рік тому +1

    Excellent and informative video. WOW!

  • @freespirit5234
    @freespirit5234 2 роки тому +1

    Wow, incredible findings!!! Crazy stuff....

  • @timr31908
    @timr31908 Місяць тому +3

    But did you know there are a lot of people in prison that didn't commit any crimes...😮

  • @susannahjones6410
    @susannahjones6410 2 роки тому +7

    Something tells me that psychopathy and narcissim is a little more than skin-deep 🤣

    • @user-jo9bt4gu5r
      @user-jo9bt4gu5r 2 місяці тому

      They both controls others and feeds off on drama and others pain. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.

  • @SasSas-fv9xx
    @SasSas-fv9xx 5 місяців тому

    My 8 year relationship with a narsisist
    I,lve had hope for change all along! Give up they willll push there boundaries further and further! Don't seek any help, Don't change! , become more dangerous just quitte with them !! you have to stop before it's to late and yes RUN as fast as you can!!
    Thank you for this reading so recognizable when you are dealing with a dangerous NARSISIST.

  • @johnstewartBr3X1T
    @johnstewartBr3X1T 2 місяці тому

    Thanks Dr. Phil. My world has been full of oppressive narcissists, particularly when it comes to talking about information systems or non-toxic employment opportunities. Alot of people cannot handle direct assertiveness, and, thus, become vindictive and actively seek out revenge via underhanded means.