how to emotionally DETACH | master detachment in dating, manifestation and life

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  • Опубліковано 18 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,1 тис.

  • @tamkaur
    @tamkaur  Рік тому +1013

    Did this video make you look at detachment differently? 👀 reply and let me know!

    • @hannahmariecreates
      @hannahmariecreates Рік тому +18

      yes definitely!

    • @damn.aayesha
      @damn.aayesha Рік тому +19

      Growing up I had emotionally distant parents which really messed up my relationships in all areas.
      But this video has changed my whole perspective of attachment and will definitely make my life better.
      Thank you I love your videos.

    • @richamishra8374
      @richamishra8374 Рік тому +4

      You Really Changed my life and you gave me a new thought for my life✨️ I really appreciate that I found your UA-cam channel 💛 You are queen for a reason and you deserve soo much♥️ I loveee youuu lotsssss🤌

    • @Deekshanya.M.S
      @Deekshanya.M.S Рік тому +4

      I so much loved this video.. "if anyone talks bad about us being detached then they are not the right tribe for us" was such an eye opener. At this 'now' watching ur video resonates with me a lot and aids my inner-growth 🎉❤
      Thank you
      And congrats on ur own jewellery brand.. must be a new amazing milestone of ur life 🎉🎉🎉

    • @cindybecerra9052
      @cindybecerra9052 Рік тому +1

      I loved the affirmations! Definitely a bonus!

  • @kala4668
    @kala4668 Рік тому +8735

    this is my favorite affirmation when it comes to detachment: "im not afraid to lose people who dont want me, who dont respect me, and who didnt bring any value to my life"

    • @love.hurtss777
      @love.hurtss777 Рік тому +25

      Well I'm so afraid of losing my friend group bc I feel like I'm such a bad friend if I lose them
      🥲🥲🥲🥲

    • @kala4668
      @kala4668 Рік тому +54

      @@love.hurtss777 its normal to feel that way, but you cant always please everyone, especially when they are bad for you

    • @belindastyles7070
      @belindastyles7070 Рік тому +3

      Wooooow

    • @lisamaiden1892
      @lisamaiden1892 Рік тому

      Amén

    • @sakshiyadav709
      @sakshiyadav709 Рік тому +5

      thankyou for this affirmation, I added this to my affirmation list and gonna use it 😊

  • @austinwest5277
    @austinwest5277 Рік тому +2581

    as a man watching this.. i am ready to enter my unbothered girl era

  • @itzmyladyB
    @itzmyladyB Рік тому +2958

    LAW OF DETTACHED
    1.-Stop trying to change people, force connections
    2.-Allow yourself to be autentic
    3.-Don't force situations
    4.-Uncertainly = Reality
    5.-Everything that happens it's for my bigger benefit
    6.-Embrace the mistakes, lost, pain, as it comes it goes

    • @Anna-vz2fn
      @Anna-vz2fn Рік тому +2

      Thanks ❤

    • @itzmyladyB
      @itzmyladyB Рік тому

      @@Anna-vz2fn my pleasure 💋

    • @skillearn4
      @skillearn4 Рік тому +2

      Tam is really a great sister for us...she is kinda helper for any girl who is suffering from certain things and can transform herself into unbothered and peaceful hot women❤ Love you Tam

    • @__.angel1111.__
      @__.angel1111.__ 6 місяців тому

      💭

  • @alessadolan5718
    @alessadolan5718 Рік тому +287

    “It was nice, but i don’t need him” 🥺💗

  • @heba5253
    @heba5253 Рік тому +1132

    "Love without attachment is the purest kind of love, because you understand that your bond with another person can end at any given moment, and that they could betray you and break your heart at any given moment, but you still decide to take the jump and open your heart to them and care for them, and invest your time and energy into your relationship with them, knowing that you might not get anything in return because they are fully in their right to turn around and leave you, and and you are fully in your right tor turn around and leave them, when they're no longer serving you or aligning with you, but you still stay in the moment, cause you value their energy and their character that much, that is LOVE"

    • @sw3ta
      @sw3ta Рік тому +24

      Damn , it isn't said "LOVE = living on valued energy" for nothing 🦢

    • @scarasimpnation
      @scarasimpnation Рік тому +1

      4:25

    • @LoveTheVoid-lg4ss
      @LoveTheVoid-lg4ss Рік тому +19

      but that sounds horrible to me 🫣

    • @creativeedge4102
      @creativeedge4102 Рік тому +1

      I'm exactly in this situation. Don't know what to do😢

    • @bantanglow4929
      @bantanglow4929 8 місяців тому +1

      @@LoveTheVoid-lg4ss that's cuz you dont value and love yourself

  • @natashadickson4819
    @natashadickson4819 Рік тому +481

    "Everything in life is temporary."
    "Be okay with the loss."
    "Detach from the outcome."

    • @frn6302
      @frn6302 2 місяці тому +1

      🫶

  • @ameyameilani
    @ameyameilani Рік тому +1754

    affirmations:
    i have everything i need in this moment
    what’s meant to be will always find a way
    my desires are always seeking me out, it is safe for me to let them go and trust the process
    i am okay with any way the situation goes because everything always work out in my best interest
    i am aware of my feelings without letting them control me
    i am not strict on my idea of how everything should be
    other people and myself can flow freely and i let go of all expectations
    i focus on my own energy and my own life
    i choose to be free from the good and bad ideas of others
    i release the need to judge or criticize

  • @heba5253
    @heba5253 Рік тому +570

    "self love us really important because when things don't work out, we are happy to comeback home to ourselves, nothing in life is ours but ourselves, but actually we lose everything, but we are meant to experience it anyways to get the lesson that it came with, so we can grow to the people that we were always meant to be"

  • @v.i.j.i
    @v.i.j.i Рік тому +758

    Tam and Liz are the girls sent by god/universe to save other girls .... So grateful to have found you out tam

    • @gandako1294
      @gandako1294 Рік тому +20

      Sameeeee girl. They're both my absolute favorite. Tam and Liz supremacy ✨💖

    • @miro4106
      @miro4106 11 місяців тому +3

      facts!!!!

    • @Fireflies2202
      @Fireflies2202 8 місяців тому +5

      Who is Liz?

    • @Sumirevins
      @Sumirevins 7 місяців тому +3

      I'm boy but I need to learn this too. Ruined good friendships coz of it😭

    • @Paulina-dn3mf
      @Paulina-dn3mf 6 місяців тому +2

      @@Fireflies2202 Thewizardliz :)

  • @shawnshazam1912
    @shawnshazam1912 Рік тому +282

    A great tip that my therapist gave in regards to feelings of anxiety and fear of abandonment is this: push through the feeling and don’t fall into obsessive and controlling behavioral patterns because they are only going to make the anxiety worse and keep it alive.

    • @bakedbookworm
      @bakedbookworm 5 місяців тому +1

      thank you for this, for sharing it

    • @impalanotaming
      @impalanotaming 22 дні тому

      Why does this happen and how do I resolve this

  • @paigem7886
    @paigem7886 Рік тому +253

    I think detachment happens naturally when you process the trauma. It takes looking at your wounded inner child, understanding that the original trauma is NOT your fault, feeling his/her pain. and you will find you are released. Trying to channel being healed only works for so long, believe me. I am the queen of looking the other way and suppressing. This video is an excellent tool to start seeing one's patterns and building trust that its safe to cut the cord and go on faith

    • @DiamondsRexpensive
      @DiamondsRexpensive Рік тому +1

      True

    • @CordeliatheChorkie
      @CordeliatheChorkie Рік тому +1

      agree! I just learned this in trauma healing with my life coach. detachment strategies are tools...you have to fix original trauma, and it takes serious work. The trauma shapes our behaviors and psyche, which we are trying fix and improve...relearning behaviors, habits, and routines is a conscious and focused effort. so grateful for these resources❤.

    • @Selflove.Mastery
      @Selflove.Mastery Рік тому +1

      Trust woman, your comment is far too deeper than the actual
      Video . Saying this, with no intention of dissolving the content of the speaker! Concept itself is great! Detachment in love

    • @deborahmiyungo8550
      @deborahmiyungo8550 9 днів тому

      Exactly true​@@CordeliatheChorkie

  • @Gracialahaight
    @Gracialahaight 19 днів тому +115

    Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.

    • @MaryRosent
      @MaryRosent 19 днів тому +3

      Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.

    • @Gracialahaight
      @Gracialahaight 19 днів тому

      Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?

    • @MaryRosent
      @MaryRosent 19 днів тому +2

      His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.

    • @Gracialahaight
      @Gracialahaight 19 днів тому

      Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.

    • @athena_slr
      @athena_slr 12 днів тому +5

      I usually don’t comment on UA-cam videos but I came across your comment and had to stop to say this.
      I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now but trust me if you truly care about yourself, let him go. I can imagine how you are feeling right now and I’m sending you lots of love. Right now, getting him back seems like the best thing for you. But looking into your future, it most certainly is not. No matter for what reasons, the love of your life would not leave you. Under no circumstances. No matter how hard it is to believe that there’s someone else out there for you, there is!!! The sooner you learn to accept that, the sooner you’ll be over it and see the new chances you have won. One month is not a long time and the wounds are fresh. But it’s only going to get better if you let it.
      Trust me, I definitely didn’t take the time to write this comment because I want to hurt you. I feel like this is a common issue and letting go is the best solution in most cases. (And I’m sure if Tam would see this, she’d say the same thing^^)
      I really hope you are going to be fine 🫶🏻

  • @milktealatte6706
    @milktealatte6706 Рік тому +305

    Video notes/sparknotes

    • @milktealatte6706
      @milktealatte6706 Рік тому +20

      Summary
      - You can not control anything except for yourself. You can’t control how people think of you, what will happen in the future, how things will turn out, so stop trying to control it. If its not something you have control of let it go. Accept that bad things will happen and instead of being sad about something change it into something to be happy about. Change the narrative to something sad to something happy. Plus life is so fucking short. All you have is the present life, not the past, not the future. You can only control what happens in the present moment, so make that you best few seconds of your life. Instead of worrying about shit try to do everything in your power to enjoy that time you have rn. A way to stop attaching to people is to be whole by yourself and if you think you are attaching find out what you are using that person for to fill up a hole in yourself and find a way to help yourself.

    • @gigiblack2231
      @gigiblack2231 Рік тому

      Thank you!

    • @sushmitanaik1577
      @sushmitanaik1577 7 місяців тому

      Thank you

    • @deepikamahesh4631
      @deepikamahesh4631 6 місяців тому

      THANK YOU SO MUCHHH!!!!!

    • @sanlice_
      @sanlice_ 5 місяців тому

      THANKYOU

  • @theoneonly8916
    @theoneonly8916 Рік тому +523

    Found this video at the RIGHT moment. I’ve realized a few months ago that everytime SP left, I cried, let it allllll go, didn’t care, and literally the next day told me he loves Me, wrote me a letter expressing everything, asked my ring size and everything. DETACHMENT is the key. Now I just need to learn to be consistent with it. Because I’ll get detached for a good bit but then for some reason I start giving in and can tell the shift in energy on both ends.

    • @theoneonly8916
      @theoneonly8916 Рік тому +27

      I’ve also realized that’s why random fleeting thoughts Manifest SOOOO fast, because there’s no negative or positive attachment to it. 🖤 everyone has their own experiences in realizing the patterns and where they’re going a little wrong.

    • @cloudymoon5442
      @cloudymoon5442 Рік тому +1

      Slay sis

    • @Michealjacksonlikestoeatkids
      @Michealjacksonlikestoeatkids Рік тому +1

      So do you just stop thinking about it?

    • @theoneonly8916
      @theoneonly8916 Рік тому +18

      @@Michealjacksonlikestoeatkids I’ve gotten to the point of manifesting where my mind and body are occupied with better things in life. Anytime something “negative” happens, I just think to myself “it’s okay, this is suppose to happen for me to be able to get my manifestation”. And it ALWAYS happens like that. There’s been a chain of events for EVERYTHING I’ve manifested. I don’t have to obsessively affirm or anything. There were times when it’s ALL I did ALL day long every single second. I would keep my mind FILLED, but it was coming from a place of lack. I realized with self concept that I can be happy with myself and love myself. It took a WHILE because I had such a shitty story with my self concept. But it was worth it. I’m completely aware of my thoughts, but when I want something, I have to actually remind myself to randomly (maybe 2 or 3 times) a day “I’m going to get” whatever I want. They start becoming fleeting thoughts and then manifest (my experience though, everyone is different)

    • @Michealjacksonlikestoeatkids
      @Michealjacksonlikestoeatkids Рік тому

      @@theoneonly8916 oh ok thank you so much thats really helpful

  • @deekookie20
    @deekookie20 Рік тому +93

    Detachment is healthy for the mind , body and soul. Everyone must practice this. 💗💗

  • @heba5253
    @heba5253 Рік тому +156

    Affirmations~
    -I have everything I need in this moment.
    -whats meant to be will always find a way.
    -my desires are always seeking me out so it's safe to let them go and trust the process.
    -I am okay with whichever the situation goes because everything always happens in my best interest.
    -I am aware of my feelings without letting them control me.
    -I am not strict on my idea of how everything should be.
    -Other people and myself can flow freely and I let go of all expectations.
    -I focus on my own energy and my own life.
    -I choose to be free from good and bad opinions of others.
    -I release the need to judge or criticize.

  • @Marmar777.
    @Marmar777. Рік тому +274

    Recently went through a heartbreak as someone who is anxiously preoccupied attached. I have been watching your videos and I am making progress in becoming secure, detached, and not caring about the opinions of others. I never thought it was this possible for me to feel comfortable in my own skin. Thank you for these videos. 💕💕

    • @nirvana6382
      @nirvana6382 Рік тому +4

      omg we have the same attachment style and currently going through a separation 😭

    • @alzbetahaskova2701
      @alzbetahaskova2701 Рік тому +3

      going through the same right now, wishing the best of luck for both of us, we've got this

    • @ElfIncognito
      @ElfIncognito Рік тому +1

      Me too ! ❤️‍🩹

    • @ortegajulzzz
      @ortegajulzzz Рік тому +4

      The books "Insecure in love" has been really helpful for me with understanding my anxious attachment style and how to heal it. Same goes for the book "Attached". Highly recommend you guys read it!

    • @Marmar777.
      @Marmar777. Рік тому

      @@ortegajulzzz thank you !!

  • @deekookie20
    @deekookie20 Рік тому +65

    Detachment is creating strongest boundaries to yourself and with other people around you for your highest good and highest manifestation 🙆🏻‍♀️💜

  • @riashaiju8715
    @riashaiju8715 Рік тому +457

    I'm finally learning to set boundaries. Literally texted my friend that I was looking forward to the end our friendship because it was too dramatic and draining....this video was much needed sis.
    Thank you 😭😭😭

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +25

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @enkaylovespizza
      @enkaylovespizza Рік тому +5

      How did you tell her that? Please give me tips!

    • @riashaiju8715
      @riashaiju8715 Рік тому +32

      ​@@enkaylovespizza
      Hey,
      Communicating directly to that person about how you feel ( how they crossed your boundaries)is the first step. Try to avoid getting angry. And tell them you want to respectfully end the relationship.
      This is what I did.
      Maybe it helps 🫂

    • @enkaylovespizza
      @enkaylovespizza Рік тому +4

      @@riashaiju8715 thank you so much 😊

    • @eugenehoek.
      @eugenehoek. Рік тому +8

      I AM SO PROUD OF YOU 🤍

  • @sunnyray4065
    @sunnyray4065 Рік тому +77

    I’m 31 and only just found your videos. May I just say how incredibly thought out and mature your videos are. I’m like 10 years older than you but you have much more wisdom than me and I’m actually learning a lot from you. I’m single for the first time in almost a decade and I’ve never been single for longer than six months since I was 17. I’m learning to not seek male validation and have more self confidence. Your channel is a god send.

    • @kaseygrace1396
      @kaseygrace1396 Рік тому +2

      I hope you are well! I’m 20 and going through a break up right now. Thank you for sharing! You got this. Hope your journey since this comment has been prosperous :)

    • @sunnyray4065
      @sunnyray4065 Рік тому

      @@kaseygrace1396 hello! Yes it has been an incredible journey. In 2023 I’ve planned to visit 9 countries, I’m always out with friends and my job is amazing too. It’s been an upgrade

  • @ru-km6tb
    @ru-km6tb 5 місяців тому +51

    I come back to this video when I need a pep talk 💀💀
    And I'm back here again 🤌🏻🤌🏻

  • @shota8601
    @shota8601 Рік тому +465

    Timestamps if anyone wants to use it!
    1:22 (law of detachment)
    11:16 (detached while dating)
    17:46 (detached while manifesting)
    20:25 (detached on a daily basis)

  • @ilona5746
    @ilona5746 Рік тому +85

    HOW DID YOU KNOW- this is just what I needed. So ready to enter my unbothered girl era ❤

  • @TrinaMoitra
    @TrinaMoitra Рік тому +21

    Tam Tam Tam… I can’t thank you enough. 4 years of anxiety & two paid courses. This free video made me feel like the glacier in me is melting. I watched & re-watched it 4 times. Don’t even want to cry to release. It’s okay! ❤

  • @xxvoid4
    @xxvoid4 Рік тому +38

    I cannot stress this enough to be attached from others in order to love yourself more. I can be with someone, love them, maybe even be married to them, and I still will be detached to them out of love. I’m trying to protect my peace

  • @kriegbiaye4964
    @kriegbiaye4964 Рік тому +19

    I think this video should be watched every Sunday, before the week starts, so we can remember what matters

  • @clarityshine4623
    @clarityshine4623 Рік тому +25

    “It’s your want, not your need” felt that.

  • @annac.5630
    @annac.5630 Рік тому +59

    Something like this happened the other day. I "lost" someone in late January and I felt really bad the entire month of February, which obviously hurt my perfomance at work. Long story short, I got fired and I knew it was my fault. It was REALLY hard, but at the end of the day I accepted my responsibility. I learned from the experience and started to apply to new jobs. Next thing you know, my manager contacts me the following day and he told me that they thought about it and hired me again. I think it had to do a lot with the fact that I let it go and I didn't attached to the situation and the what ifs.

  • @quendelf
    @quendelf Рік тому +44

    One thing needs to be made clear here - we all need HEALTHY attachments. Humans need stability including in other people and that is normal. The focus should be healthy attachment, which ACCEPTS that things aren’t always forever. But we need to be very careful because there is a real issue with toxic individualism in our modern society.

    • @Reynor_Lord
      @Reynor_Lord 10 місяців тому +3

      Thank you for saying it, detachment can also be a trauma response even if you feel emotionally less bothered by it, doesn't mean it's the healthiest option.
      A healthy attachment/stability can bring a lot of happiness and peace not only for yourself, but for your partner as well.
      From a guy's perspective, imagine if your boyfriend was taking his shitty ex out to the Maldives, Italy, Paris, the most expensive places, most romantic dinners and giving the most thoughtful gifts, but you?
      Nothing...
      You barely get any of your love and effort reciprocated or even appreciated not matter what you do, the abusive Ex got 100 and 10 % but they hold back with you.
      I don't think the solution to dating is to detach and close of your full effort/love forever, as a Man I love providing, supporting, being romantic and making her feel loved, but if I'm not fully appreciated in return it stops feeling fulfilling and starts becoming draining, I can't give all my love indefinitely without receiving 100% back, you can give 100% in the moments we're together but also 100% to yourself in the moments we are not. (still being thoughtful of your partners feelings and not doing something you wouldn't do if you were with them)
      Over all it's a double edged sword, you detach and yes. It will be easier to get over them and move on, but it also will never be as deep and profound as giving 100%.

  • @girl....642
    @girl....642 10 місяців тому +10

    I'm crying because I missed someone who's"so much busy" to have time for me and it started to effect my life and I hope I'll detache myself from that-live u tam

  • @willowoodz
    @willowoodz Рік тому +5

    “don’t worry about where it’s gonna go”
    WOW. this. i always think ab outcomes, but i get it now

  • @Nancy2551-g6i
    @Nancy2551-g6i 2 місяці тому +48

    Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.

    • @Ameryarina
      @Ameryarina 2 місяці тому

      It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.

    • @Nancy2551-g6i
      @Nancy2551-g6i 2 місяці тому

      Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

    • @Ameryarina
      @Ameryarina 2 місяці тому

      His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @Ameryarina
      @Ameryarina 2 місяці тому

      he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

    • @Nancy2551-g6i
      @Nancy2551-g6i 2 місяці тому

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
      Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

  • @reneejoseph5030
    @reneejoseph5030 Рік тому +24

    I have to admit. I have watched this vid 3 times in the last few days. It's like comfort while I go thru this phase of my life.thank you

  • @0KaitoShion0
    @0KaitoShion0 9 місяців тому +3

    Girl, holy guacamoly. The way you explained all of this - especially how we form and why we maintain attachments - was so clear! Told with ease and from an experienced heart! I now realise that my anxious attachment is pretty much selfish in that regard that I don't dare to tap into my own resources. The complexes run deep, but man, there's no need to use another person for that! There's so much I have yet to learn...Thank you for your video! And for putting it out there so simply and clear to understand. ✨🧿🙏

  • @FatimaZahid-se9cy
    @FatimaZahid-se9cy Місяць тому +3

    Everybody else's opinion is just a combination of their own projection of traumas, life lessons, and mindset that's got nothing to do with me so why would I ever listen to it!!
    Well said 🙌❤

  • @youwish6066
    @youwish6066 11 місяців тому +13

    I really needed to hear this right now. My ex broke up with me and lost feelings for me and isn’t hurting at all. While I’m here bawling my eyes out, being anxious 24x7.
    I realised that I need to practice self control and live in the present moment. I was in love with his potential and wasn’t actually in love with who he was.
    I need to keep reminding myself that I need to love myself and prioritise me over anyone.
    Thanks a lot!! ❤❤

    • @0Annou0
      @0Annou0 6 місяців тому

      Falling in love with the potential of others is such a trap...im going through it too. Good luck, I hope you are better.

  • @sophilopez5017
    @sophilopez5017 Рік тому +21

    I got out of my very first relationship almost 2 months ago. This video helped me a lot. I'm really just trying to get back to normal and not be so emotional all the time. Thank you for helping me see things differently.

  • @sid_28
    @sid_28 3 місяці тому +3

    NOT EVEN HALF WAY THROUGH THE VIDEO BUT GOT GOOSEBUMPS, NOT EVEN LYING bcs she is spitting facts..

  • @Anu_diaries7
    @Anu_diaries7 Рік тому +15

    Somebody made me feel bad about being detached and made me feel guilty about it. This video really helped me realise that I am not wrong. Thank you 💜

  • @DidiLeahLaurenKenston1111
    @DidiLeahLaurenKenston1111 Рік тому +23

    My confidence has dropped completely all of a sudden and I am trying to hard to bring it back up. I was never like this before and I attract everyone to make me feel awkward so definitely need to manifest better things. Your videos have been helping me so much, thank you.

  • @aaryajadhav2777
    @aaryajadhav2777 28 днів тому +1

    girl, i cannot explain how much this video helped me rn.

  • @marcokuhner2445
    @marcokuhner2445 Рік тому +6

    I hated it so much when you said to leave the people be how they are. Don’t try to change them. Embrace the pain and the fear.
    Felt that immer conflict. I’m gonna cry in my room haha. But you’re right of course. And the sooner you accept the situation and let go of the perfect fantasy, the more grounded you will feel.
    Wow, the girl I am dating could really hurt me, abandon me and betray my trust and I’m going to embrace that cuz I’ve got me…. That hurts so much. But now I know why

  • @Kaynighthood
    @Kaynighthood 15 днів тому +1

    Accepting this feels so good. Suddenly insecurity goes away

  • @aniqaasif3003
    @aniqaasif3003 Рік тому +7

    I've actually taken your advice and I've started going places by myself without feeling lonely or needing someone with me all the time.

  • @sakhibharne280
    @sakhibharne280 12 днів тому +1

    This video was really like the universe showing me a sign coz I'm been going through bad days lately. thankyou so much for this reallyy great advice :) ❤️

  • @aditipandey5899
    @aditipandey5899 Рік тому +21

    You are a Big Sister every girl needs 🥺
    Thank you so much 💕

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +5

      🤗

    • @RB-ok9ss
      @RB-ok9ss Рік тому

      @@tamkaur what about your trying to protect your peace and detach but you live in the same town and go to the same college, how am I supposed to grow but then get reminded whenever I see them (I get reminded of some of the little good memories but more of the bad ones and how they did me wrong and still are at a distance).I want to be unbothered but I feel bothered whenever I see them again. I’m not sure if I should say hello when passing or smile or do nothing n ignore. But it’s hard for me to do any option because I overthink it. Any advice? Please❤

    • @RB-ok9ss
      @RB-ok9ss Рік тому

      @@tamkaur ​ what about your trying to protect your peace and detach but you live in the same town and go to the same college, how am I supposed to grow but then get reminded whenever I see them (I get reminded of some of the little good memories but more of the bad ones and how they did me wrong and still are at a distance).I want to be unbothered but I feel bothered whenever I see them again. I’m not sure if I should say hello when passing or smile or do nothing n ignore. But it’s hard for me to do any option because I overthink it. Any advice? Please❤

  • @blossom321
    @blossom321 3 дні тому +1

    You're so amazinggggg❤ Thank you so much, Tam😊 Lots of love.

  • @xWabbli
    @xWabbli Рік тому +11

    This video is so important. Although deep inside we „know“ all of this, I feel like we’re often not aware of/forget these basics. Thanks for this beautiful reminder.

  • @mystupidlovesong
    @mystupidlovesong Рік тому +2

    Sitting down, reflecting and writing your triggers and actually taking time to schedule yourself to change your mindset is the key! Thanks for that ❤

  • @camkin7916
    @camkin7916 Рік тому +10

    This is literally the only video that actually helped me understand and apply detachment ,all the stereotypes,all the examples,you explain it so well.Thank you!

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому

      I'm so glad!❤️❤️

  • @artmarefuel
    @artmarefuel Рік тому +7

    I didn't know how badly I needed to hear this video this morning. Thank you so much!

  • @thevibex
    @thevibex Рік тому +8

    I found the solutions of all my problems in these 30 minutes.

    • @Joanne-mi2nt
      @Joanne-mi2nt Рік тому +2

      No matter what you going through don’t feel depressed and don’t let anyone or anything make you feel less of yourself because in every problem there’s a solution and in relationships you can also get the specific person you want to love you !
      You can get help in everything you want, only if you ask for help.

  • @AnitaJason-s4d
    @AnitaJason-s4d 2 місяці тому +36

    Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him

    • @Allenwatts-y9n
      @Allenwatts-y9n 2 місяці тому

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.

    • @AnitaJason-s4d
      @AnitaJason-s4d 2 місяці тому

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?

    • @Allenwatts-y9n
      @Allenwatts-y9n 2 місяці тому

      His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @Allenwatts-y9n
      @Allenwatts-y9n 2 місяці тому

      he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

    • @AnitaJason-s4d
      @AnitaJason-s4d 2 місяці тому

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive

  • @vedantikamahadik2803
    @vedantikamahadik2803 Рік тому +7

    She literally knows what we need to improve our lives....love ur content..💕

  • @dragonfruit352
    @dragonfruit352 Рік тому +3

    WOMAN I FREAKING LOVE U FROM THE BOTOM OF MY HEART

  • @starry2733
    @starry2733 Рік тому +6

    I loved this video! I have been struggling with unhealthy attachemts all my life. But at the same time I have managed to manifest myself the best life possible. Well, at least quite close..
    Only now did I discover the world of detachment and how liberating it is. True power!
    Your video helped me so much! Your points are good and your explanations make perfect sense.
    I will bookmark it and watch again. THANK YOU!!

  • @clairejoseph9398
    @clairejoseph9398 Рік тому +4

    Thank you need to detach more!! Have to listen to this video on repeat until the message sinks in!!!!

  • @jainy1707
    @jainy1707 Рік тому +2

    The universe sends us the messages when we can finally receive the wisdom.
    You have changed my being with these gems.
    Love and blessings to you.

  • @LifeWithEm97
    @LifeWithEm97 Рік тому +3

    Currently in a new relationship, and my anxious attachment style has been LOUD😂😂 I need to listen to this video every day. Thank you thank you thank you.🙏🏾

  • @shailosworld7497
    @shailosworld7497 5 місяців тому +2

    YOU'RE THE BEST! I needed this and here you are! You're A Saviour! ❤

  • @user-uf9sv6sj1b
    @user-uf9sv6sj1b Рік тому +19

    1. Permita que as pessoas sejam quem são e não tente muda-las. E não force conexões que não existem.
    2. Não force situações
    3. Separar dos momentos tristes esperando que sempre haverá uma solução para você

  • @michellesutton3945
    @michellesutton3945 Рік тому +2

    The amount of videos I’ve watched before this one is crazy and they left me hurt and confused about things. But this gave me peace and gave me something I can do to help my mind relax. Thank you.

  • @Cosmo26271
    @Cosmo26271 Рік тому +6

    Wow! I’m 47 and you’ve taught me so much!! Tons of gems in this video, I had to take notes! Thank you so much Tam ❤

  • @hopefarawayy
    @hopefarawayy Рік тому +6

    wow this was really comforting haha i'm only in my first year of college and i've already lost three friends, a "situationship" came to an end and i have mixed feelings about it everyday. I really love your vibe sister! thank you^^

  • @angrycat943
    @angrycat943 Рік тому +6

    This is amazing content, the only trap here is to missinterpret the mean of just "flowing", you can flow but you still have the right to ask or call out on someone that playes you, lies to you, or hurt you, accountability still exists and you cant go around hurting people just asking them to take charge of their feelings, this is just to leave more stress free withouth being worried or obsessed when things dont go the way you wanted.

  • @stargirl78636
    @stargirl78636 9 місяців тому

    « im literally so grateful for all that i’m blessed with » claiming this 🎀

  • @heyyy1325
    @heyyy1325 Рік тому +17

    TAM OMG U ALWAYS POST EVERYTHING I NEED AT THE RIGHT TIME, LITERALLY WHAT IM STRUGGLING WITH RIGHT NOW IS BOUNDARIES W FRIENDS AND SELF-RESPECT, AND ONE OF MY GOALS FOR A LONG TIME WAS TO BECOME DETACHED AND BE AN UNBOTHERED QUEEN, LATELY IVE BEEN ASKING MYSELF "how do i become detached from the outcomes of my reality and stop reacting to everything and letting outcomes control my emotions?" AND THEN U POST THIS!!! I FEEL LIKE THIS IS THE UNIVERSE HELPING ME OUT LOL SO THANKS

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +2

      🥺❤️❤️❤️

    • @heyyy1325
      @heyyy1325 Рік тому

      @@tamkaur 💓💓

    • @RB-ok9ss
      @RB-ok9ss Рік тому

      going through a similar thing so in my case, what about your trying to protect your peace and detach but you live in the same town and go to the same college, how am I supposed to grow but then get reminded whenever I see them (I get reminded of some of the little good memories but more of the bad ones and how they did me wrong and still are at a distance).I want to be unbothered but I feel bothered whenever I see them again. I’m not sure if I should say hello when passing or smile or do nothing n ignore. But it’s hard for me to do any option because I overthink it. Any advice? Please❤

  • @SpillingTeaWithT
    @SpillingTeaWithT Рік тому +2

    This is exactly what I needed. Loved the part where you explained the difference between how men and women handle their feelings. It's so true!

  • @rarevirgox
    @rarevirgox Рік тому +6

    I’m so glad I came across your videos this is helping me so much with my current situation and my attachment issues

  • @niharikamishra8759
    @niharikamishra8759 Рік тому +2

    She doesn’t know how much she is helping me and other people to get over of some traumas. Thankyou so much ❤ i love your videos and you have so much knowledge thankyou for sharing with us❤

  • @Mo-qm9md
    @Mo-qm9md Рік тому +4

    Literally taking notes on this vid cause this is such an important mindset I need to work on and I am relying only on myself to improve

  • @DeesuGhanghas
    @DeesuGhanghas Рік тому +2

    After this video im gonna come out as a happy and content and detached soul! Amen 🙏🏻

  • @bunny19-xk5mj
    @bunny19-xk5mj Рік тому +4

    You don't know but You Helped me in so many ways to open my eyes and gain clarity of the situations of my life...i even wrote the things that i need and would need in my copy ❤
    Thank You 😊 Stay Blessed 🙌

  • @PinkMoonDreams
    @PinkMoonDreams Рік тому +2

    Everything I used to feel but could never put into words. You took me back to how I felt before my beliefs and life were shaken.
    You made me feel so understood and loved to the point of crying.Thank you so much.

  • @SpirituallyBadassRockstar
    @SpirituallyBadassRockstar Рік тому +3

    EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!!! Darn yeah babe whatever looking like the worst it is always a redirection in the right way for us xxx

  • @Iampinklover
    @Iampinklover 10 місяців тому

    I sincerely hope you are satisfied with your life right now. Your contents are huge help for a lot of people struggling to settle with their emotions and thoughts.

  • @binkyandgunther
    @binkyandgunther Рік тому +4

    tam im honestly so excited to see how successful you become tam! im rooting for you from california! 🎉

  • @haniya-
    @haniya- Рік тому +2

    the way this video came at the absolutely, i mean ABSOLUTELY, perfect time

  • @linhthuy9724
    @linhthuy9724 Рік тому +8

    literally, all of your content just amazing and its always pop up on right time, whenever i need a helping hand. You just so kind and openness ,fully sharing everything authentically with your own experiences and THAT SAVED ME these day when i have some problems of creating boundaries🥺
    also i found that your accessories in all videos just so beautiful and attractive, i usually look at them every 10sec 🤣

  • @niyangnyah
    @niyangnyah Рік тому +12

    i needed this so badly bc i'm trying my best to detach from my ex.

  • @shresthitripathi1910
    @shresthitripathi1910 5 місяців тому

    Detachment is such a journey, honestly. I need to periodically remind myself when i go into an overthinking loop. Watching the video for the 3rd time now, definitely helps give my thoughts a direction. So grateful ❤

  • @stanwinx1144
    @stanwinx1144 Рік тому +31

    you know it's so inspiring to see a brown woman you can look up to and feel motivated by, giving you advice. You don't see many of us putting ourselves out there

    • @evasabet1018
      @evasabet1018 Рік тому +5

      Why is that important? Im looking at a beautiful human with a strong message, and until it it got pointed out, I wasn't even thinking about it. Thoughts like these are what create division in today's world

    • @ayybibi
      @ayybibi Рік тому +13

      @@evasabet1018 it’s very uncommon to see brown women speaking about topics like these, the culture is very different than the western world/western women. it’s just a fact. no division.

  • @Bluemarble000
    @Bluemarble000 9 місяців тому

    literally cried listening to this. a combination of many thoughts that i have encountered before and actually helping and positive not toxic. i will try to love myself first and give up on wanting to controlling on situations cuz everything is already in it's best place

  • @mariedawson6615
    @mariedawson6615 Рік тому +4

    Love your video...makes a lot of sense. I have been so attached to one person for over 1 year n honestly im the only one hurting myself. Thank you for making me realize how much easier life can be. ❤❤❤

  • @reneea44
    @reneea44 Рік тому

    thank you so much! “eventually we lose everything” really stuck with me..

  • @melissaw3020
    @melissaw3020 Рік тому +4

    Omg thank you so much for this video. You articulated so many things I've been feeling lately, but didn't know how to express!! I have been feeling a bit guilty lately because I just don't really feel like spending much time with a lot of a my friends. But I don't feel sad or depressed. On the contrary, I've been feeling extremely creative lately and just enjoying staying at home alone and making art. Sometimes I wonder if it's normal that even though I have lots of people in my life who I care about deeply, there's really no one who I could lose who would drastically change me, my life or my perception of myself. Ultimately I connect with other people because I like to do so, not because I NEED it.

  • @jessicabsable
    @jessicabsable Рік тому +6

    Just found out this channel and loved it! As a philosophy teacher I appreciate the dept of your thoughts!! Great work, keep sharing your wisdom, let's get stronger together girls!!

  • @elenrie11
    @elenrie11 Рік тому +2

    Thank you very much for this video, im working on myself to be emotionally detached from the people i love.

  • @star._.822
    @star._.822 9 місяців тому +6

    bro shes so pretty i love this girl and her videos ong

  • @asansh9656
    @asansh9656 Рік тому +4

    Girl..i love u so soo much…u r teaching me like a big sister!! And I couldn’t be any happier to learn it from you!! U just clarified my whole situation ..all love…stay positive and spread positivity!♥️

  • @dianecruz1828
    @dianecruz1828 Рік тому +2

    Omg thank you for this. I was feeling so lost and found this at the right time. The universe just loves me so much. 🥰

  • @defuneste
    @defuneste Рік тому +2

    girl you're the best, you kindly remind me of the truths of life while making me laugh and also making me relax. You're amazing, thank you for your content!

  • @flw1522
    @flw1522 Рік тому +6

    I’m glad this video came up on my recommendations as I was feeling bittersweet about my best friend judging my career choices, while working on giving up on the need to please others for so long! I’m fully aware of how I shouldn’t let her opinion or anyone else’s have an impact but I can’t really fight it, it’s frustrating

  • @Caragain
    @Caragain 2 місяці тому

    Man, I have been going through so much, your videos are helping me immensely right now. U r super attractive and feminine and I used to think I wouldn't understand your content but the words that come out of your mouth are making the most sense to me. Nothing else has for quite some time. Thank you, really. Keep doing good work and I hope u stay happy

  • @varsha2199
    @varsha2199 Рік тому +4

    I follow you on TikTok too and you’re such an inspiration. I’m someone who struggles with a lot of self-doubt and end up putting things off till the last minute. Now I’m trying face things while being scared, and as you said it’s not scary as it is, and the more I expose myself the less scarier it becomes. Thank you so much and keep inspiring 🥰

  • @carnationsinclarity
    @carnationsinclarity Рік тому +2

    I love that you acknowledge that love and attachment are two different things
    I had to end things with my past exes because I knew they didnt love me, they just felt like they needed me and it didn't make me feel loved at all. I felt like a caregiver and they could attach to anyone who gives them positive attention.

  • @foivechan
    @foivechan Рік тому +4

    I watched an earlier video of yours and made my mind that I’m in my unbothered girl era 🎉. And I’m loving how stress free I am

  • @zozozoooo34
    @zozozoooo34 Рік тому +2

    the amount of love and effort that was put into this

  • @arimasingh3394
    @arimasingh3394 Рік тому +2

    You legit saved me from my shadows❤ you have a long way to go 🥺