how to *actually* be happy single | detach, love yourself, de-centre men & enjoy being alone

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  • Опубліковано 28 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @tamkaur
    @tamkaur  Рік тому +762

    heavy on the 7:48 and 14:57 😌

    • @dominique36
      @dominique36 Рік тому +28

      greetings from Ukraine!
      watching you with subtitles despite the war
      thank you for the motivation to live 💖

    • @bananaclip8989
      @bananaclip8989 Рік тому

      The sad one in your thumbnail looks like the mascara is fading from gagging on a 🍆 😅

    • @life_is_magnificient
      @life_is_magnificient Рік тому +12

      @@dominique36 omg , are you alright? I hope you are , my sis . Stay strong things will soon be okay . ❤️ Blessings to you for a long and happy life

    • @jperez9528
      @jperez9528 Рік тому +2

      ❤️

    • @jperez9528
      @jperez9528 Рік тому +3

      "There must be an angel" - Eurythmics ft. Stevie Wonder
      To and For the Ukraine People 🇺🇦 "Send her my love" - Journey 🇺🇲
      "Silent Running" - Mike and The Mechanics

  • @Arlene_witha_y
    @Arlene_witha_y Рік тому +1533

    Being single is SOO peaceful and freeing!!! I love putting me first! Relationships are only good if the guy is whole and healthy. Most are not so the relationship becomes burdensome, dramatic, exhausting. I don’t want a relationship unless someone can give me more than I can give myself. And if not, that’s fine, I’m awesome to myself!

    • @Angira77
      @Angira77 Рік тому +10

      Yes to too agree !!!!

    • @gailainsley6939
      @gailainsley6939 Рік тому +16

      Right. I could never prefer to be in a relationship over this. If its a good one, fine but most arent. In fact. I dont think I've ever seen one that is. If it wasn't for societal pressure and wanting kids one day I wouldn't even bother 😂 I love focusing on myself and I'm less productive when I'm in a relationship 😂

    • @QeonnaDavis
      @QeonnaDavis 8 місяців тому +1

      I agree 🥰

    • @oaklandsoldier8520
      @oaklandsoldier8520 4 місяці тому

      Those are the type of men that you attract though.

    • @BobaBB-x26
      @BobaBB-x26 3 місяці тому +1

      I wish I could be free. This bum jerk won't leave me alone 😢idk what his intentions are besides to use me but other than that it's just quite a headache. So much admirations to you enjoying your independence 🎉🎉🎉❤ self love is the best and I hope I can be free from this creepy perverted abuser user. Miss being in my own company and to spoil myself.

  • @megxoxo1244
    @megxoxo1244 Рік тому +1504

    My cousin never dated boys when she was a teenager. She thought they were all immature and stuff. She told her mom ( my aunt ) that she will live alone. And then one day she met a guy she was in her twenties cuz her good friends knew him and stuff. It came unexpectedly. They’re still together today

    • @lc-do5eo
      @lc-do5eo Рік тому +115

      That’s why I never dated. I’ve never met one who deserves me.

    • @MiaCarter7
      @MiaCarter7 Рік тому +72

      Maybe being care free and loving yourself is the key that brings that good person in.

    • @dcarrenob89
      @dcarrenob89 9 місяців тому +2

      Are we expected to feel happy for her?

    • @StarrSky
      @StarrSky 7 місяців тому +26

      @@dcarrenob89she’s just saying her cousin didn’t jump into a relationship and instead focused on herself which now she found her one. No need to be negative.

    • @devashreekale4281
      @devashreekale4281 5 місяців тому +20

      THIS IS SO ME ! 😂 this is literally why I didn’t get into a relationship and thought they were all so yuck ; cause even though my dms were full of proposals I did not date . Cause no matter how thirsty you are , you never drink sewage water 😭🤌

  • @shirleisantos6079
    @shirleisantos6079 Рік тому +2003

    I cried, she said everything that I needed to hear

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +135

      🥺❤️

    • @esotericbliss5887
      @esotericbliss5887 Рік тому +11

      @@tamkaur Hey Tam, I’m sorry for putting this here but can we have some affirmations from you? I wish l could listen to single and happy/detachment and success type affirmations while driving to work!

    • @laxmibalakrishnam141
      @laxmibalakrishnam141 2 місяці тому

      all stories was like about ME. need freaking validation

  • @Chiiico88
    @Chiiico88 Рік тому +178

    Few months back. I met a boy who treated me the way I always wanted. But little did I know as the time went he started getting a little to comfortable which wasn't a good sign. He wanted everything from me but wasn't ready for commitment. Another red flag. Slowly I started noticing his behaviour. And then I realised he treated me the way I wanted because he wanted something from and when straight I said no, he felt disrespected. He started ignoring me. Which again was hurtful for me. I thought I had some connection with him. But more than that I feel proud of myself for not getting played by some boy who isn't ready for a real commitment. His behaviour was quite hurtful for me. I felt low for weeks. But now I know where to draw boundaries.
    Hope anyone who reads this feels a lil better ❤️

    • @livelifelovelife7787
      @livelifelovelife7787 Рік тому +7

      And you learnt 😊 early which is good

    • @finbaromen2245
      @finbaromen2245 3 місяці тому +2

      I am in a similar situation right now, it's been 4 weeks since things ended and I still have my ups and downs, which is getting a bit frustrating. I hope you are perfectly happy now :]

    • @taniakhera9650
      @taniakhera9650 Місяць тому

      I am in same situation till now for 3 years . But it has to end . And my single happy era should have to begin .

  • @megxoxo1244
    @megxoxo1244 Рік тому +305

    Most of the time love comes unexpectedly. Don’t look for it. Be yourself love yourself and the guy will come at the right time and love you for who you are

  • @SD-kp6fj
    @SD-kp6fj Рік тому +662

    I FEEL ATTACKED IN THE BEST KIND OF WAY THANK YOU QUEEN

  • @ТогжанКайрбекова-ы6з

    The fastest way to disrespect urself is clinging to ppl who do not value you as much as you value them... this one hit me harsh... thank you so much for ur videos

  • @karinac2541
    @karinac2541 Рік тому +292

    “Every single day is a fun adventure with yourself”
    Wow that just gave me the motivation to get out of bed 😂

  • @roselinelee
    @roselinelee Рік тому +487

    detached, better friends
    ->how to detach
    stop forcing and obsessing over situations the only thing you should be obsessing over is myself
    embrace uncertainty
    we cannot rely on people
    you can't change people
    don't have expectations for people, if you don't want them anymore, leave them
    ->prioritise logic over emotions
    stay disciplined
    we can only rely and count on ourselves
    you have yourself to come home to
    ->stop getting men to choose you
    you will lose yourself and ruin your own life, lose your selfrespect
    CHOOSE AND ACCEPT YOURSELF
    -> be self-centered
    every decisions must memaksimumkan kepuasan sendiri
    your inner child is counting on you, don't leave them
    ->consistent self love and solo dating
    I eat in restaurants alone all the damn time ❤️ ok except in school
    I thought everyone was judging me
    You cannot let the fear everyone else's judgement dictate your life and your decisions gurl
    Practice makes perfect
    eat alone
    sit with feelings of discomfort and accept them
    good habits feel shit in the start
    you get to people watch
    ->it's painful to leave your comfort zone
    difficult feelings come
    BUT you're doing this for your inner child that's counting on you - and that will keep you going
    if you feel some typa bad way, sit with the feeling understand it accept it
    Change the narrative:
    everytime you feel unconfident - dress up and feel good about yourself
    everytime you feel bored and unfulfilled -
    you're gonna take yourself to the musuem to the concert
    take a train to a new city and explore it on your own be your lover, best friend LOVE YOURSELF because you know you best❤️

    • @1rishikaa
      @1rishikaa Рік тому +5

      Thanks for the tips

    • @yashyashwanth5888
      @yashyashwanth5888 7 місяців тому

      What about toxic masculinity women always talk about. women say emotions are good now why you want to have all the red flags which men have.women scream red pill video and red pill guys teach men to hate women.why you hate men for no reason.why you want to act like men

  • @moonruled
    @moonruled Рік тому +89

    i got broken up with earlier this year and immediately started dating again. it’s been a couple months and it’s clear that i have no self worth and i just crave male attention and validation constantly. i absolutely hate it. i am so happy to see this video because it is the wake up call i need. i’m losing control of my life chasing men in my free time when i could be rediscovering myself. i’m going to have to cut off some connections i’ve made but i need to be selfish and choose myself right now

    • @aarushidwivedi9716
      @aarushidwivedi9716 Рік тому +1

      It's Okay mam. You're not alone in this😂 But just know You're a High Value Woman. 🥰👍🙏

  • @wanderingyourway3163
    @wanderingyourway3163 Рік тому +134

    "A life partner is there to inhance your life, not to complete it." Man! Yes! I'm going to write this down in my diary and look at it each time society pressurizes me to find a partner. Like.. thank you! What an amazing video for young girls! This is what we need.

  • @Tshego_Genevieve
    @Tshego_Genevieve Рік тому +495

    "Let go of attachment to outcomes"
    This one hit home!❤️

  • @Aquaaaaa777
    @Aquaaaaa777 Рік тому +480

    I really appreciate and love this video because for most of my childhood days I would always be obsessed of what do boys think of me?, “Am I enough?”, “Am I desirable”, and that was one of the reasons I’ve gotten depression and I was very insecure. Also growing up I would watch a lot of romance movies as well so that made it even worse.😂 But nowadays I’m glad I haven’t found someone yet because God will bring the right person for me at the right time and I have a lot of self respect, a lot of love for myself, and is very independent. 💗

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +36

      Love the growth!! 🥺❤️

    • @Aquaaaaa777
      @Aquaaaaa777 Рік тому +4

      @@tamkaur Thank You!!!!! 💗💗💗💗

    • @555-h1u
      @555-h1u Рік тому +8

      I relate to this 100%

    • @user-oq6ul1fm3p
      @user-oq6ul1fm3p 11 місяців тому +1

      @@tamkaur p

  • @rtu8054
    @rtu8054 11 місяців тому +23

    "Singlehood is a gift that we never know when we'll have to give it away".. This made me stop in my tracks and gave me CHILLS -- flipping the narrative on it's head, what an awesome perspective 💯

  • @thehibernatingone
    @thehibernatingone Рік тому +110

    For years, I dreaded V Day. It reminded me of my singleness. I'd look at others and envy them. Get disappointed over expectation. So when I finally wasn't single on V day few years ago, I was over the moon to celebrate it. It wasn't so great as I'd imagined in my mind. Now I am single, I had the best Valentine day. I wasn't giving V day any undue attention, as I'd no intention to date anyone, or expect anything from any men. I was calmly living my days upto V day. The day before V day, my sister gave me a rose.😇 So on V day, I dressed on my best dress and cleaned myself up, tooks lots of pictures with the rose. I had a good feeling of excitement, happiness, and was feeling really pretty. Later that evening I spent with my family and talked about V day without any dread. There was no man. It was just me, in my home, happy, pretty and calm with myself. That's was love for myself. And I guess that's how a real valentine day should be- filled with love.
    Edit: Wow! 83 likes and a ❤️ from TK herself. This is the most likes I've ever gotten. Glad people enjoyed it. Also (no one is asking but I'm gonna make it my confession comment because it's special like it's 83 likes!) I'm still single and happy with my status☺️ Never thought I'd ever be capable of being just me. (4yrs can make you quite dependent on others). I am not crying over past, or looking for someone new. I am at a place in my love life, where I am ready to be happy even if I never get married. "Calm" is the word to describe what I feel- to value the peace & freedom & "the moment"of single life that I might never get again once married; to not envy couples because some of the wish they're single like us (away from drama); to not be worried about all the responsibilities of marriage/kids/duties; to make my life more than just about romance/men in the meantime; to learn to make good friends for company in case I end up being the spinster😉 Does anyone have experienced these still waters? And for the ones who have not, I hope you do one day. It's really 👍

    • @bm5_5_5
      @bm5_5_5 Рік тому +3

      Literally word for word I did all this on v day and had the best day too 🎉 Got all dressed up, bought myself a rose and cooked myself a yummy dinner. Best one I’ve ever had and I didn’t once think I wish I had a man now. That also used to be me that person who hated Valentine’s Day and now I’ve found so much love in myself and in my life everything is different. It’s all about romanticising your own life right. So happy for you ❤

    • @thehibernatingone
      @thehibernatingone Рік тому +2

      @@bm5_5_5 Glad to find someone going through the same things in life as me. ❤️

    • @bm5_5_5
      @bm5_5_5 Рік тому +1

      @@thehibernatingone So happy for both of us ❤️

  • @zaraislam9353
    @zaraislam9353 Рік тому +218

    I just started the process of a breakup and I cannot even begin to explain how thankful I am for coming across you. Esp as a brown girl, I feel like everything you're saying was meant for me and you say things in a way that gives me hope and has almost gotten me excited about my future when just days ago I thought my world ended. Thank you so so so so sm I am forever grateful for this energy and I know so many others are too

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +12

      You’re so sweet. So glad I could help! Thank you 💖

  • @zuzuthefirelord164
    @zuzuthefirelord164 Рік тому +98

    I'm a guy and lately I've been so upset on being single and not having a gf, that I completely forgot about my needs and self-care, so, thank you for that video, I found it very insightful!

  • @Tera.yaar.freefire
    @Tera.yaar.freefire 3 місяці тому +896

    The fact that nobody talks about the book Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest speaks volumes about how people are stuck in a trance.

  • @lunadewolf478
    @lunadewolf478 Рік тому +21

    I love that I found this video so soon. I am a 14-year-old girl and all my friends are getting in a relationship. now I know that there is nothing wrong you are such an insperation.

    • @caitlingill
      @caitlingill 10 місяців тому +3

      14 is so young im 20, never been in a relationship

  • @Lorriluxxe
    @Lorriluxxe Рік тому +291

    THISSSS👏🏽 Understanding the root of the discomfort is essential! Attachment styles are a great indicator to being unhappy being alone, only then can you actually implement mindset & practical tips💕

  • @angelalawrence6156
    @angelalawrence6156 Рік тому +85

    42 years old. Loved the idea’s presented in this video. I’m going to share it with my teenage daughter. From experience, your message on solo dating is spot on.

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +7

      Wonderful!🥹❤️

  • @whatisreal711
    @whatisreal711 Рік тому +24

    I’ve never been in a relationship and I’ve always been jealous of others who were happy with their partner. This really helped so thank you 💗

  • @shwetasolanke6821
    @shwetasolanke6821 Рік тому +141

    I am 19 years old and I truly understand what you are saying and I'm grateful for understand this at early age . thanks 💕

    • @anonymous-yq4wc
      @anonymous-yq4wc Рік тому +1

      Please don't become a wh*re like her then regret it like she's doing. Learn from her mistakes. Best of luck to you

    • @AngelDas-ip6vv
      @AngelDas-ip6vv Рік тому +9

      And I'm 14 but still i think I'm lot mature than my age

    • @moonlightxcv
      @moonlightxcv Рік тому +2

      So glad to hear this. I’m 27 & I’m trying not to beat myself up too much feeling like Im starting this journey way too old :(

    • @Humanitiesspecial
      @Humanitiesspecial Рік тому +1

      Hey I am 19 years too. I am hella out single and feel so garbage about myself

    • @rekha3454
      @rekha3454 6 місяців тому

      Trust me you are just 2 years into this whole adult thingy its okkkk​@@moonlightxcv

  • @riyaa88
    @riyaa88 Рік тому +12

    the fact that this lovely girl genuinely wants all those things for people out there is so heartwarming!!

    • @AadilFakir-y5g
      @AadilFakir-y5g 2 місяці тому

      Hi beautiful luv your long hair babe ❤

  • @missmadelinesadventures3278
    @missmadelinesadventures3278 Рік тому +36

    I've mostly been single my whole adult life. So in 22 years I maybe was in a relationship for 3 in total maybe 4. It's doable to be happy alone. But being lonely will come and go. Just don't let your standards drop based on your mood.

  • @Kookieeee2604
    @Kookieeee2604 Рік тому +47

    This is exactly what i needed.. Just broke up with my long distance bf.. He was narcissistic omg he used to bodyshame me n be like i was joking u know i love u n i joke alot.. Like whattt? I've cried so much in that relationship m done wid his bullshtt... So m done wid him.. I wanna focus on myself now n if m lucky enough i will find someone who will love me the way I'm ☺💕

    • @gretchelfaye
      @gretchelfaye Рік тому +1

      How are you now

    • @mea24palustre3
      @mea24palustre3 8 місяців тому +2

      Your not alone

    • @yashyashwanth5888
      @yashyashwanth5888 7 місяців тому

      Having long boyfriend and saying he is narcisstic.girl you are being brainwashed by this video

    • @Sakshibarapatre26
      @Sakshibarapatre26 6 місяців тому +1

      Same even in my relationship my ex bodyshame me like I am ugly and then he says he was joking with😒

    • @Kookieeee2604
      @Kookieeee2604 6 місяців тому

      @@gretchelfaye hey thank you for asking well I'm lil better

  • @valerijastorozenko4075
    @valerijastorozenko4075 Рік тому +21

    This has been my favourite video for the past few days. As soon as I feel that I begin slipping up again emotionally, I press play and oh my god. This is gold in my ears and brain. Thank you!
    No other video (and I watched a lot) has made me feel confident and believe in myself and love myself. ❤️

  • @gautam6405
    @gautam6405 Рік тому +18

    As a single guy, I liked your video. The points you mentioned in the video are correct and have really increased my morale. I was always rejected, and treated like shit. I became so obsessed to get female attention and compassion that I started to live life for others rather than living life for myself. I just forgot myself and felt depressed and lonely all the time. The 14:35 really was on point and resonated with my situation ( although, I am men). I am trying to work on myself, trying to change my life for the better. I hope I am able to be happy, able to change my life, and take care of my family to whom I am grateful, they always loved me unconditionally.
    PS: sorry for the bad English, if any.

  • @bisersable8247
    @bisersable8247 Рік тому +62

    I am 31 and I've always been single. It's okay, not a huge issue. 😄 I just live my life just like everybody else, with less stress and more time for the things I love.

    • @John-tz2tx
      @John-tz2tx Рік тому +2

      I’m the same, I’m 53

  • @aaliyahdas2576
    @aaliyahdas2576 Рік тому +4

    When she said just because you’re lonely and you want to download that dating app i felt that

  • @elisethearmy
    @elisethearmy Рік тому +8

    tam's channel is one of the main things getting me through heartbreak fr 💖

  • @yasminec2144
    @yasminec2144 Рік тому +87

    I’ve been asking the universe for messages and Tam you LITERALLY said EVERYTHING to confirm I am on the right path! Thank you thank you thank you are gorgeous and such an incredible speaker

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +3

      Wonderful! Thank u ☺️

  • @natushkhan
    @natushkhan Рік тому +239

    VIDEO CHAPTERS:
    reason vs solution 1:36
    new mindset 4:44
    master detachment 10:15
    de-center men 14:35
    self love lifestyle 16:20
    the hard days 18:20

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +16

      🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

  • @KidslearnplayNfun
    @KidslearnplayNfun Рік тому +17

    "Am I even ready for a relationship?" Once you started listing everything it was a beautiful reality check for me lol I'm thinking like in reality I actually do not think I am ready I think my "fantasy relationship" gets in the way of what relationships actually are. Really enjoyed the video you are beautiful and love your energy.

  • @Fairygelic
    @Fairygelic Рік тому +55

    I’m actually on my first solo date right now (at a restaurant) and it is very nerve wracking sense I have anxiety 😭 but this video definitely made me feel better thank you!

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +10

      AWWW HOPE U HAD FUN🥹❤️

    • @AgentFulgoreBasedDepartment
      @AgentFulgoreBasedDepartment Рік тому +13

      i felt weird going on a solo date for the first time, but after doing it multiple times at my favorite restaurants and other places i felt much better about it.
      now when i go to the places i frequent, the staff ask if i want to sit at my usual spot, not if i’m with (or waiting for) - someone else. i’m alone, not lonely. you got this ❤

  • @headspace3449
    @headspace3449 Рік тому +83

    I feel embarrassed when I realize how clingy I was to a person who never actually valued me... How to overcome this embarrassment?

    • @solcitozorrito
      @solcitozorrito 6 місяців тому +37

      Accept it. Validate the fact that you were sensitive enough to fall in love with somebody who didn't deserve it. You may feel embarrassed, but there's nothing more beautiful than actual true feelings for somebody. You gave it to that person and they didn't accept it. Not your problem. You were real and congrats to you, not everybody can offer so much to another person.

    • @AyadiLinda
      @AyadiLinda 4 місяці тому

      @@solcitozorrito thank you 💪✌️

    • @Jewelslovcy
      @Jewelslovcy 3 місяці тому

      🤍

  • @Emocitygirl
    @Emocitygirl Рік тому +49

    Even though I am in a relationship currently I still want to make sure I am my own person and happy with myself !!

  • @roshianderson
    @roshianderson Рік тому +41

    I just found your channel and as a fellow brown woman I remember the days of thinking “my soulmate might be here” 😂 I’m married and a mom now and prior to becoming that I had to become the type of person I wanted to be with. I truly had to love myself and through that I made sure to date intentionally and not walk in anything that didn’t serve me. Instead of just being with a person I can confidentially say I’m happy because I found love through love ❤

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +7

      Hahahah love that you can relate! Love the journey too❤️

    • @anonymous-yq4wc
      @anonymous-yq4wc Рік тому +2

      Did you go through a h*e phase?

  • @jodieleigh2888
    @jodieleigh2888 Рік тому +7

    I’m exactly the same as the old you. It’s breaking me, but I’m in love with the thought of being a happy single and you give me so much hope and love❤

  • @mahiaggarwal6286
    @mahiaggarwal6286 Рік тому +15

    This line have hit me hard: the other person have to choose you because you haven't chosen yourself. I'm new to your channel and subscribed 😀

  • @ashiyanakapoor7405
    @ashiyanakapoor7405 Рік тому +7

    Your channel is what we females were looking forward to but couldn't get any help because people don't talk about self love in such details and how it's important for you to detach urself from the world.... And attach with the UNIVERSE ✨ ... Also, I am finding it as a therapy for myself ... You're honest and powerful and beautiful... Much power and love to you 💗

  • @devonmariah
    @devonmariah Рік тому +21

    When I tell you this was very much needed. I’m about to turn 25 and I’ve always been single and it was getting to me really heavy. But after this video my wholeee mindset has changed💜💜

  • @embracem7722
    @embracem7722 10 місяців тому +4

    Im a straight male but I found such great value and relatability in your video. I appreciate your bluntness and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Even if you dont see this comment.
    Especially when you talked about everyones timelines are different.. and how some people get tested earlier etc.. in my case I have been single all my life. Im 28.5 now, maybe Ive been focusing too much on something that I don't need right now. I should build my best self..
    I just envy the guys who have girls in their 'DMs' I guess. It is loneliness.
    Thank you & wish everyone else the best.

  • @slenophile7107
    @slenophile7107 Рік тому +42

    Now that's called a real influencer..who is real and genuine with her audience..Keep it up girl...Young girls need influencers like you❤

  • @Jazmine.x
    @Jazmine.x Рік тому +69

    Your story is exactly like me. Even i had this mindset in my adolescent but when i turned 22 everything changed after a toxic relationship and i am single since 1 year and i am only going in a relationship if a man knows how to keep a girl , not with someone who isn't even sure about his own self

    • @apala09
      @apala09 Рік тому +2

      I'm going through a heartbreak please could you share your experience. What helped you and how did you overcome it?

    • @apala09
      @apala09 Рік тому +1

      @@Joynzau that is such a wonderful perspective. Thank you. I hope you are doing better and I wish you a healthy life ahead too. I too realize that it's never too late to come back to yourself and as a person it's imperative to find my centre.
      Peace,Love and warmth your way :))

    • @amstephens2449
      @amstephens2449 5 місяців тому

      😮

  • @moonlightxcv
    @moonlightxcv Рік тому +17

    45 SECONDS IN & YOU DESCRIBED MEEEEEE. I’ve been that way since I was 14…. I AM 27 NOW & just looking into self help sources bc I just recently became single & want to work on all of those flaws you mentioned. I’m only one minute in I can’t wait to see the rest!!!!

  • @happeebunny0329
    @happeebunny0329 Рік тому +49

    Love thisss! I'm so determined to stay single this year because when the pandemic started, I just got out of a relationship and immediately began dating again, but being in those relationships suffocated me. I feel like I should be focusing on myself, working on myself, and healing, but I couldn't do all of that because, when choosing my actions and the things that I want to spend my time on, I have to consider how the other person would feel. That responsibility was too much for me at that time, so I knew I had to be alone for awhile and enjoy my own company.
    Now I feel so liberated, my family felt bad for me for staying home alone during valentine's day this year but I assured them that I'll be fine. I bought myself chocolates, chips and beer then I binged-watched romcom movies 😌

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +4

      LOVE THAT FOR U!!!

  • @Pranjalirai.
    @Pranjalirai. 11 місяців тому +1

    I PERSONALLY LOVED EVERY SINGLE YOU SAID IN THIS VIDEO. I'M MOVED ON, I REALISED MY STANDARDS ARE SO HIGH AND MY YOUNGER SELF WOULD NEVER WANT TO LOWER THAT FOR A MAN. THANKYOU SO MUCH. YOU'RE MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE

  • @lanaf1_1655
    @lanaf1_1655 Рік тому +102

    I don’t usually comment but OMG! This is one of the most informative videos I’ve ever watched! Not me literally rewatching it and taking notes, haha. I looove your energy and l‘m incredibly grateful that UA-cam recommended me one of your videos a few weeks ago. You deserve a million subscribers, Queen 👑 With lots of love and appreciation from Siberia ❄️

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +4

      Wow, thank you!

    • @lanaf1_1655
      @lanaf1_1655 Рік тому +2

      @@tamkaur thank you!! For replying to my comment and for your content ♥️

    • @nehakhan5589
      @nehakhan5589 Рік тому

      Well i did the same.. literally i took all the notes .. writing in my diary 😅

  • @ishikajain28
    @ishikajain28 Місяць тому +2

    I have been single my whole life, I have never dated anyone, no one has ever asked me out and, I'm just happy being single. I know I deserve the love I wish for, I'm worthy of it and it will find me. The reason you're single is because, you're worthy and deserving of the love that will come your way and God is going to make you meet 'your person' in the most unexpected and unknowing way.💕✨

  • @hersixdimples
    @hersixdimples 11 місяців тому +1

    Singleness is the best gift you can get especially in your 20s!! Find yourself, love yourself and chase YOUR own dreams. I love this ❤❤

  • @performingqueen2022
    @performingqueen2022 Рік тому +7

    This is so inspiring for someone like me who is going through a lot of insecurities! Gurl, I literally gotten goosebumps listening to you! It felt like you were sat in front of me as my best friend, motivating me, inspiring me to become my beestest version, and being my strength just by listening to your video! It is so impactful that your voice has reached to me! And it made me feel so good hopeful and positive hearing you! You have given me a boost and I so needed to hear this so Thank you so much! You've made my day with this! I just became your fan! God bless you! ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for such a informative inspirational video!

  • @chelleaina-xlr
    @chelleaina-xlr Рік тому +32

    this video felt like a slap in the face bc I've been brushing this off for so long💀 keep them comingggg💃

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +2

      I gotchuuu🤣❤️

  • @winterpomeranian
    @winterpomeranian 4 місяці тому +3

    I watched this a year ago and I absolutely loved this mindset - I valued my time alone and my singlehood. A week later I got into a relationship with one of my friends. But noowww we broke up and I'm coming back to this aha. I miss when I had this mindset - I want it back!!

  • @sarahbeeck377
    @sarahbeeck377 Рік тому +16

    Tam, thank you so so so much for this video. I cried the whole time. I am 22 and have never been in a relationship. Although I am enjoying being single, there are moments when it is really hard to accept that I never experienced love like others. But everything in this video was what I really needed to hear. I feel more empowered now and understand many things as well. Thank you

  • @kardelen9574
    @kardelen9574 Рік тому +7

    I love that you’re just so straightforward about all this. And it’s all so true and so important to realise that at the end if the day you always have yourself. No one needs a man to take you out on a date or buy you flowers. That’d be the bare minimum a guy could do and it’s not something to over romanticise. It’s lovely and of course it makes us happy but it’s definitely not something that should impress you so much that you might think he’s an absolute prince.
    I’m currently so proud of my learning progress even though I sometimes take a step back but that’s completely fine but as for today I’ll take myself out on a coffee date and read my book that I recently bought!
    Thank you so much for this video!!

  • @tetegentille1887
    @tetegentille1887 Рік тому +3

    Such a smart intelligent woman we appreciate you

  • @Longpotato_
    @Longpotato_ Рік тому +15

    One day , i will be content with myself and have that high self love and self confidence just like you 🥰 i really admire u girl !

  • @nishagharti-f8b
    @nishagharti-f8b 3 дні тому

    I'm 15 yrs but I always used to feel lonely because someone really broke me. After watching this video I learn self love. Thank you queen❣

  • @eugnegirl2999
    @eugnegirl2999 Рік тому +3

    i was once struggle to go through this journey and i ddnt know how others can do it so easily. but now after my last relationshp with my ex, its just click to me. i prioritize myself in every single time. i start to watch mvies that i love! i start to buy flowers that i love! and i dont mind other people business. i stop care if i find a men or not bcse the journey of loving yourself was just so beautful and peaceful than being in the drama getting my heart break. and its true that my standard getting higher. for those that are struggle finding their ways, dont worry sooner or later you will get there ❤ just trust yourself

  • @CherrysLibrary
    @CherrysLibrary Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for this!!! This is what we need in schoold,books and social media. This is life experience,human emotion and GROWTH All in a 20+minute video that covered so many important topics at once.❤

  • @thatgirl4927
    @thatgirl4927 Рік тому +6

    It's been a month since I broke up with my bf . This video really helped me to get clarity and hope for better future

  • @HannaCookss
    @HannaCookss 10 місяців тому +1

    This video had so many questions that I get to ask myself now. I am in a relationship but realized ive turned codependent and turn to my partner for happiness. Im so excited to start this self love journey and being in a relationship while doing it is scary. Im worried that if i learn to love things that he doesnt, it wont work out. I cant wait to practice unattachment skills so that it wont hurt as much but I hope i get to love myself and still be loved by my partner.

  • @SwaranjeetKaur-nk6ur
    @SwaranjeetKaur-nk6ur Рік тому +4

    I got my answers without asking to anyone after watching your videos. Thnk uhh❤

  • @Soft.Catnip
    @Soft.Catnip Рік тому +4

    i have been watching your videos like crazy lately and i am so thankful for your content. i genuinely was in a really bad mindset and didnt know how to feel better, yet your advice and relatability has helped me so much

  • @angelamaria17755
    @angelamaria17755 10 місяців тому

    Amazing perspective I had not thought of: “singleness is a gift that will one day be taken “🙏🏼🔥♥️

  • @bonitabelle3336
    @bonitabelle3336 Рік тому +3

    i was clinging on someone who don't care if I'm gon💔
    I'm taking notes from you your words are awakening sobbing heavily thankyou so much ♥️❤️

  • @yuka5464
    @yuka5464 Рік тому +13

    I am 15 Year old and I sometimes take myself out on a date too I feel like I'm in a area of confidence right now 😊 thank you your my favorite 😊

  • @millym9414
    @millym9414 Рік тому +7

    This was good. I’m to be divorced soon and even at the age of 48 this hit home. Sometimes I envy the younger generations as you all have so much access to information that we didn’t have in the 90s…. Mental health and self-care was not a thing when I was in my 20s and 30s but when I was in my late teens, I would do a lot of things alone and loved it but at the same time I always needed to be validated by a guy - that line in the movie eat, pray love, when Julia Roberts says that she never really had a moment to herself because it was always a guy involved is real for me…..I’m just glad that I am at least getting to this mindset now. Ageism is real and I know a lot of people my age or who are divorced could really use this. Thank you for this video it helped me today.

  • @koshaagarwal6635
    @koshaagarwal6635 16 днів тому

    Being single is a gift you don't know you can ever be in this phase again girlllll❤❤❤❤❤❤ you made it

  • @shimmer410-o2i
    @shimmer410-o2i Рік тому +4

    Tam is literally the definition of being happy single.

  • @kuluaii
    @kuluaii Рік тому +2

    i don’t usually like videos but this one was so so good! i gave everything to my ex and i’ve been feeling terrible since he broke up with me for days but this really helped me change my mindset. thank you so much!!

  • @arj9760
    @arj9760 Рік тому +46

    This is so bomb. I probably need to rewatch this at least once a week 😂 Gotta absorb all the tips and real talk dang. Thanks for this!

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +3

      🥰🥰🥰

    • @aarushidwivedi9716
      @aarushidwivedi9716 Рік тому +1

      I've downloaded it too and watching since April 2023. April 2023 was kinda my golden month as I found this queen and got motivated about self healing and Growth. 🥰🥰🥰

  • @RainyFaerieMusic
    @RainyFaerieMusic 2 місяці тому +1

    Girl I don’t know you but I love you. This is only your second video I’ve ever seen, but I’ve already been helped so much by your wise advice. You are seriously a life saver-and I wish there were more people sharing advice like yours on the internet. My therapist has nothing on you!! Keep shining, and thank you for changing my life!!

  • @elenamaria.gls_csm
    @elenamaria.gls_csm Рік тому +27

    I discovered your UA-cam channel a week ago and now I am addicted😂 Thank you so much for helping me soooo much!! Sending you love from Paris❤

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  Рік тому +3

      Soooo cool!! THANK U ☺️

  • @daniqtpy647
    @daniqtpy647 Рік тому +1

    This is beautiful and so healthy for ourselves I was single almost 3 years and it help me. Heal my inner child trauma learn about my self work on self care love. For. Myself focusing on my child more. I'm working on projects every weekend that I'm passionate about

  • @whatdeyadoes
    @whatdeyadoes Рік тому +27

    I definitely feel the second point you made. So I just turned 29, I’m a travel nurse and I love the experience of traveling and coming & going as I please. I make good income so I am able to splurge on myself bc of the fact that I don’t have a family to feed. I’m able to vacay & travel bc I don’t have a husband or kids waiting on me. I know one day this will be taken from me. So I try to enjoy my “selfish years”. However, my younger sibling recently got engaged and I constantly feel judged by family and strangers and being asked when I will be getting married, AS IF I KNEW? I’m not in control of that. So lately I’ve been feeling unhappy but I realized it’s because other people want me to be in a relationship when I’m actually happy. But I think because of my age (late 20s) and my Hispanic heritage it’s almost like it’s not a blessing at my age anymore regardless of how happy I am with my current self. I wish ppl would just mind their own business and let ppl live their lives. Also one of my exes got married and on social media his life looked sooo good. The big house, the fancy car, the baby shower etc. turns out he has Been and continues to cheat on his wife this whole time. I know bc he confessed to me and tried making me a mistress after he married her. Don’t believe everything you see ladies.

  • @natashanaples
    @natashanaples Рік тому +1

    I love that you give actual actionable STEPS and talk us through exactly how to accomplish these topics. I feel like there are a lot of creators nowadays that just give motivational advice but don't tell you *how* to actually go about getting results, so thank you so much.

  • @brookenaylanii
    @brookenaylanii Рік тому +3

    LOVE how the 'new mindset' time stamp is 4:44 💕

  • @elisabethkarner1434
    @elisabethkarner1434 10 місяців тому

    So young, and so wise. I wish I had figured that out back in the day... Thank you for your contribution and wishing you all good things in 2024.

  • @melaninqueen2413
    @melaninqueen2413 Рік тому +3

    I really appreciate this video so much! I'm turning 23 next month and the pressure gets worse. My good friend of 6+ years, who's 19, just got into a relationship. Since 2020, I personally know 10+ couples, including a cousin I don't like, who have gotten married and few started a family. They're all around my age. That's what makes it harder. I don't want a relationship right now and I know I'm not ready for one just yet. I know after college, I want to move back to the northern region of the USA by the age of 25, and start settling down. It all just happened to fast, one after the other and out of nowhere! Although I was invited to a few weddings over zoom, I stopped viewing because it reminds me of what I possibly could not have. People tell me it will happen because of how I am and how "pretty" I am, but we'll see. Thanks again for posting this!

  • @sarahillingworth9257
    @sarahillingworth9257 Рік тому

    It's like you're speaking in a different language, none of it makes sense because from a very young age I felt desperate for male validation. Finally I feel I might be brave enough to challenge this. Thank you for your honesty and advice!

  • @molly8070
    @molly8070 Рік тому +5

    The hardest part is being alone. I’ve tried to find other women to be friends with but then it turns into them trying to find me a partner or going out was revolved around finding a man or getting male validation. I really would just like to form a community of girls but it’s been hard being on my own since moving to a different state and not having my close friends around me. I just desire connections even it is platonic.

  • @kritikaboola7844
    @kritikaboola7844 6 місяців тому

    Oh my god! I love how EVERY SINGLE WORD kicked me in the heart and made me realise self sufficiency.
    I really needed this today.

  • @jainejane107
    @jainejane107 Рік тому +9

    This video couldn't have come at a better time!! Absolutely lavved!!

  • @muthiatamiraeldri8355
    @muthiatamiraeldri8355 Рік тому +1

    REALLY. I need a friend like you

  • @polyglottria
    @polyglottria Рік тому +5

    Amen Tam!
    Thank you for this video. Being single is hard especially when you want kids. I'll be my best for now on.
    Greetings from France

  • @lolicdia
    @lolicdia Рік тому

    This video helped me calm down from three different panic attacks, the good vibes this woman has are in a different level

  • @oo_mony2421
    @oo_mony2421 Рік тому +11

    I was happy being single and too independent but since last two months, one mf came into my life and destroyed. So, I’m building it again after break up. It’s kinda hard but gonna make it🤞🏻

  • @obscureinternet7506
    @obscureinternet7506 Рік тому +1

    The face I googled "how to stop being alone' should be sad enough. But your advice was great. Thank you

  • @janhvigupta1468
    @janhvigupta1468 Рік тому +7

    I was struggling with some of my emotional issues till I came across this video. Every single word you said really empowered me and I've realised that you don't always need someone in your life and I should let go of people. This video was wonderful ❤ I loved it, gave me confidence to face anything what may come.

  • @Xədicə-j2s
    @Xədicə-j2s Рік тому

    GIRRLLL YOU TALK SO WELL LIKE YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT TO SAY NOT BE LIKE "UHHMM..." THATS THE BEST THING I LOVE ABOUT YOU I WATCH YOUR VIDEOS EVERYDAY THEY'RE HELPING ME SO MUCH I FEEL SO LUCKY CAUSE I FAUND YOU YOURE LIKE A LIGHT IN THE FULL DARKNESS FOR ME THANK YOU JUST FOR BEING HERE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT YOU JUST TRY TO GET IT PLEASE💋😭😭

  • @shainoorshaikh210
    @shainoorshaikh210 Рік тому +5

    2023 is 100K success for you, u go girl.👏🕺

  • @tanishkavaishnav1638
    @tanishkavaishnav1638 Рік тому +2

    Thankyou sm for this❤️😭 I hope I'll try my best to focus on myself and not give a F about men anymore.

  • @mansijain3666
    @mansijain3666 Рік тому +5

    I love you girl! You’re so good. I recently found your channel and it’s so motivating and is helping me get back on track. I’m a very ambitious and self reliant person, but sometimes when life gets hard, you need a pick-me-up, and your videos are just doing that for me. Please keep posting more and more videos.. looking forward to a lot more motivational content from you 😊❤️

  • @mxrvelvidz6058
    @mxrvelvidz6058 Рік тому +11

    If you’re reading this, you ARE worthy of LOVE 🫶🏾🫶🏾
    I LOVE U 🫶🏾

  • @sumidas4069
    @sumidas4069 Рік тому

    Everytime she said 'you're gonna fall in love with you yourself' I feel in love with her❤❤❤ so grateful for this video... thankyou girl☺️☺️☺️

  • @nikitaraut1870
    @nikitaraut1870 Рік тому +9

    Hey going through breakup and this video really helping me! Thank you girl♥️

  • @Daisybhardwaj149
    @Daisybhardwaj149 Рік тому +1

    I am a teenager and today I found your Chanel I think your videos help me for my self growth 😇 I am trying to improving my thoughts day be day. 🤜🤛