Relationships and Complex Trauma - Part 4/11 - Love Languages
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- Опубліковано 3 сер 2018
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I wish Tim Fletcher was my pastor, and I am not even religious! He’s so wise and insightful.
He made me cry with the God hasn't given up on you speech the other day. I'm not Christian, not nearly religious.
He is he prays for you in every video.
he has very warm heart
HE IS, IF YOU WANT HIM TO BE.
Amen
Unconditional love = dog 🐕
😅
Complete love = heathy partner 💞
It is also equal to (=) to dogs are not offendable, no human ego, we give dogs a break because they didn't mean it.
They give us a break because they don't understand it, can't perceive it.
They avoid humans if they are beat physically... rather than with words or intentions.
We don't even speak verbally to them except for a few commands. Not equals. They look to the owner as leader of the pack.
It's comparing apples to oranges imo... a human and a PET vs a human to human relationship.
You can be a total asshole to people and your dog would love you.
Unless perhaps your pet was turned into a person.
Then maybe they would have a lot to say. But as a dog, cannot.
You would not/don't ever know what they would say.
They would turn into a person saying things not as the asshole's dependent subordinate.
Dogs are trainable.
Why would you want trainable fellow human beings around you? For control.
They are also not that bright.
Some dogs stick around a place where the owner was and are seen as loyal.
People would not do that and starve over someone else that's no longer there.
They do not comprehend what humans comprehend.
So when people can't learn to communicate healthily & successfully with other people they just get something that requires minimal communication practice.
They gave up the joy of knowing their own kind and turned to a different species they must learn to control just for safety's sake & comfort. It's an animal.
A very agreeable animal if you have made them submit.
@@aurelienyonracit's true the only form of unconditional love.
Sooo yeaaa...last relationship...I was the 1 who wanted physical touch all the time and felt neglected bc affection was NOT his love language...I brought it up and he said something like "That's just not the way I am" or something similar...I tried & tried to "learn him"...long story short...He just didn't believe we are supposed to learn and grow continuously...I ended up completely losing myself in that relationship (off and on over 3 yrs) and am working on healing still...THANK YOU so much for your channel. I am so glad I stumbled across you ❤
Once again Pastor Fletcher tells a biblical story which I have heard countless times, giving it an entirely new depth & meaning. Beautiful. Thank you, thank you for the gift.
Gosh this series is so good.
Growing up, love was just a word in a birthday/Christmas card. There was no love in my family. Today, I've no idea what it is.
I used to avoid Mothers Day cards with the words "love" or "you're the best" in them because I couldn't bring myself to lie. I would always give her a funny one to get the job done without compromising my feelings about her.
@@Abe-rz1nm smart move. Wish you all the best
Wow, I am glad you mentioned this. What I was getting from my mother was love fraud. She gratuitously attacked me at a public bus terminal accusing me of something I didn't do. The next day was a rose decorated card for my 16th birthday! I should have ripped it up in front of her face, would do it now but she's not around anymore. That woman jerked me around so much, in fact ruined my entire life with regard to relationships and my own emotional stability. These people are awful, should not be parents.
I know about love languages but the connection to complex trauma is priceless. I was sitting on the couch, nodding my head so many times 😂 like "got it, right". Thanks for some enlightening me on the connection between both. On point ❤
I love what you have shared. And listening to your faith based talks have reminded me of when I walked away from believing in a higher power. Please keep doing what you are doing!
Thank you for helping me, and thank you for teaching me love, balance, and GOD.
God Bless You
I've been watching the series of videos from the beginning. I just want to say thank you. I've found your information very helpful and informative..
Relationships and recovery can go hand in hand.
You have to eliminate sex..
And use the love languages to fill the void.
Living with out sex with your partner is hard but very beneficial.
Yes this is true as much as I think the love languages can help save or heal relationships by filling the love tank or understanding why sometimes our actions arent hitting the mark.. it’s for people who already respect one another and are committed would show it
Absolutely right! He mentioned narcissistic people. They only speak “love languages” during the love bombing stage. Then, they will insist their partner fills their so-called tanks, but will not reciprocate. At all. Ever.
It’s so good to be single at last.
So worth listening to. Thank you Tim. Explains so much.
recently diagnosed cptsd
acts of service for me stresses me out
but that’s one of my biggest love languages i love to do
This is so helpful and insightful for what I’m going through
As I've grown it's changed what I thought my top languages are now there not . Thanks for these vids
It is a joy to have you add depth and understanding to the familiar stories from the Bible, and to relate them to us. It all makes so much more sense when put into perspective. Thank you!
20:39 - Yes. That would be my a-hole father. It tells you all about a person how they treat the people they know they don't depend on and they get nothing from.
YOU ARE ALWAYS DOING OR INVOLVED ONE OF THESE.
1. ACTING ON WHAT I FEEL I NEED TO DO.
2. RE ACTING TO WHAT PEOPLE, OR SITUATIONS COMPEL M E TO DO..
3. BEING ACTED UPON BY PEOPLE, OR SITUATION OR UNKNOWN SITUATION.
1. ACTING ON WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE RIGHT AND TRUE , UNDERSTANDING THE ENVIRONMENT, SITUATION, THE CONSEQUENCES. PEOPLE, SYSTEMS, SOMETIMES IN RELATIONSHIPS OR AT WORK. WHO IS RELATED TO ONE ANOTHER.
You learn in recovery about character defects .
Love languages are physical properties.
You start to build.
You advance
You learn to shuffle.
I found you at the perfect time. Thank you, God🙏🏻❤️
I LOVED this so much. Thank you 😄
Relationships messed me up or I messed up relationships/ or lack there of... confusion/ misunderstandings....
WOW! Never before somebody knew that I was buying spontaneously gifts for friends - even though I ould not afford it...:) Here Pastor Fletcher names so much of me.....
Best I’ve ever stumbled across! God leads!
Thank you and bless you for sharing all those insights, this is extremely helpful and clarifying!! But please find a voice coach, it is really quite painful to hear all that pressure you're putting on your vocal chords. 🙏🏻
I don't believe in unconditional love. It doesn't exist just like a perfect shape that only exists in concept but always ends up imperfect in reality.
If your love isn't conditional they it's probably obsessive. There should always be a boundry to love. I was raised by a narc who talked a lot about unconditional love and I thought I experienced it as a child. But I was being groomed to put aside all my needs.
23:32 - This.
Some people who say "let's me see your soul from the start" just don't want fake masks being put on when meeting people. They just want to meet the real person, not a carefully constructed presentation of who they are (not).
But there these people who just lack connection and NEED to have a deep conversation and vent to others, because they have no one who will listen or be there for them.
Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏🌿🌈
Always Excellent!!!😊♥️✌️
Thanks for sharing this video!❤⚘
I’m on part 4 and it’s helped me realize that I have in fact been the problem. Thanks brother.
Love this content!
Complex trauma is induced trauma.
Results from Undue influence.
The negative influence tends to make you dwell on the past.
Cause you don't understand.
Most of that can be overcome.
It may require medical attention.. or medicine.
It is a mental illness.
It's from being manipulated..
It changes after you realize the traits.
In my first serious relationship and I hate the words “I love you” but I know it’s an important part of the relationship. So I use it occasionally and accept it but it means nothing to me.
Values? Think about LIFE Desires. What is important to you? What do you Value?? What is IMPORTANT????
Thank you!😊
This is GREAT!
What is an insecure addicts VALUES? What is their MOST IMPORTANT VALUES?? Life Desires?
What manipulation to get ones way every time? What does it LOOK LIKE?
EXCELLENT!! 👏👏
Thanks I just realised the only love language i recognise is when someone buys a piece of my art.
Problem is that it is not often so I go around feeling unlovable ,desperately trying to make something saleable.
Every so often I spin out and destroy years worth of unsold work… sending myself into even greater depths of depression.
I’m in one at the moment… contemplating getting a day job and giving the art for love thing a miss .
Hope this goes from your Head( mind) to your Heart( soul)
God Loves You
More than you can even Imagine!
Just Because -
He made you a Unique person.
You cannot Work
Your way for This Love-❤️
God Loves you!
Unfortunately it’s too little too late… I was divorced years ago and missed fathering my children. They are adults now and live in another city .
I’m depressed and a recovering pot addict.
Every time I hit rock bottom I fall even further down always ending up in the same state …
Going to try getting a job this time round.
It's never too late! You are not stuck with the wrong person. Please know you are here for a purpose. I pray your children's hearts are turned to you. God is God of the impossible. He helped me get healed of addiction. Don't give up!🙏🤗
@@paulalane8638 cheers I’m getting stronger everyday, more confident … the best thing for me is not getting high when I have been triggered.
I'm an intimacy addict, help!
Will, is it our value or ethic ? What we're suppose to be love for, success.
I am afraid will is simply part of a healthy brain able to feel, to link, it's natural.
Will can fail, and i only goes as sickness. We can't judge ourself, no one is judging us...
We survive ok...now can we learn to live ? To evolve, to face the challenge without poisoning ourself ? Destroying the world ? Hell is Earth, it seems to be the righteous path. We're addict to performance because of survival conditioning. We're under the bias as species of the one of the survivor. Thinking our strength is what work,....but maybe not anymore. Maybe peace is the challenge. Failure doesn't exist, doesn't matter for life. It's a path. It seems that success as today standard is failure as a whole...
To drop the mic and let life teach us.
Sobriety is the key, sobriety is knowledge, the one of entropy and syntropy. The meaning of life.
Science rewrote the bible. The sacrifice is the one of ourself, the part that doesn't even exist, so frighten, the primitive brain. I'm afraid it's directly link to identity part of ourself. Many time we suffer without physical wound. What is that ? Identity, rigidity ? Is that our doom ?
Morphogenic field is the new dimension to explore but can't be done without intelligence. Truth. As species. Problem is that identity can't be bring in this exploration, it doesn't matter, it's inappropriate. The present is only required, paradise is a garden filled with path, ourself and everything. The one and the whole is true.
Will is health...and there also one health. Our health, our health as species is the same. War to the world can't bring anything good, that's treason of ourself, our nature, nature itself, to life in any form.
What do I do if my therapist made a therapy out of his own narcissistic manipulation and instructed me to do it to others?
Does anyone know if a narcissist will withhold sex and why?
Yes. Power and control
As punishment.
JESUS is the only One who satisfies....nothing or no one else! I was an outcast most of my life, but Jesus is the only One who truly loves me.
Play live music I’m Lol 👌 ok l you 😆 ok 👌 😆 no ok ll ok ll l l 👌 lol 😆 😆 😆 lol l ok 👌 😆 😆 but kill l look l 😅 you lol lol 😆 lol😅l look 👌 😅😅
Love yourself, you know your journey and what makes you admirable. You know why you deserve that. When you care for yourself as a loved one, you help others see this too. Hope you get to feel better, that you get up on your feet and back on that path quicker and quicker each time
Almost any religion works as long as you practice it
Psalms 27:10
"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up."
This is also my experience but God was faithful in his promise. He is the best Father I could have had. Praise be to Him forever.
Coca cola is also a great satisfier.
Is there a church he does sermons at
Is this a series for women? Remember women are narcs too.
some women
Your preaching about,
Acts of God.
I get that. But why blame anyone.
We should have prevention team
07:44
Lots of generalizations
Do you think
Lack of GIFTS. LACK APPRECIATION for good things. 😥😥👀
Accept his teaching and adjust your perceptions. The answers of your good questions are given. Simply accept his perspective and reflect I into yours. Calm perception. Easy reflection. Joyful connection.
Religion is just one more addiction to replace the hole……
I could not touch or hug my ex-husband it would turn into sex
Identity deep conversation of his achievements meaningful genius Reporting for 3 or more hours not stop. Exhausting for everyone to be disrespected by an exaggerating SPEAKER FRIEND (man). 😥
In the beginning of the religious part I want to say something, it's Palestine not isra*l, the bible and in history and everyone know now that it was, is and will always be Palestine 🇵🇸❤️
The woman at the well went back and told many people, so she wasn't an outcast. Many believed her, many waited until they met Jesus themselves, because Jesus came to her town.
RED HOT WHITE
BURNING HOMICIDAL RAGE
Jesus, I cry out to you in faith and desperation,
pleas pleas please HELP ME!
alone and lonely
desperate for escape
paralyzed with trauma
he raped me
he was supposed to be my best friend
I die inside
rage and grief eat me alive
I'm in hell
7 INSATIABLE DESIRES:
- the man that left me.
he discarded me like last week's garbage.
he took my heart and my soul with him.
I'd do anything to have him back.
I'd do anything to have my heart and soul back.
- LOVE. the real thing. in it's purest truest realest rawest form.
romantic and sexual and intimate. twin-flame (re)union.
- sex. intimacy. attention. affection. romance. passion. cuddles. kisses.
- to be wanted/needed/loved/desired.
to be seen as beautiful and attractive.
- to have all my past traumas erased/deleted/dissolved/healed. gone forever.
- A TRIBE OF REAL FRIENDS
- for Palestine to be free from the satanic grip of Isra-Hell!
There is nothing in the biblical text that says the Samaritan woman took other womens husband. Jesus said she has five husbands, this counting them as husbands. Each mcould have died, been abusive, neglectful, and divorced her. It was common practice for the Jewish men to divorce for any reason. Perhaps thats why she didn't marry the one she was currently with and that itself made her an outcast. Lets be careful to not slander biblical characters either. They were real people after all. Stick with the text and don't embellish for the sake of your own dialogue
The thing is that is very hard to practice a love language that is not your own. At least it is for me.